Work Text:
A Year Gone
Dean drives through the night, Sam asleep beside him with his shaggy head braced against the car window.
Dean knows it has been a whole year and he feels unsettled. He is trying to pinpoint all the reasons in his mind and also trying to figure out if the stuff he thinks is wrong is actually wrong, or if it’s just in his head.
Was just one year long enough to have made such a difference? What the hell is wrong with Sam? He can’t ever remember a time when he would have thought Sam would be okay with torturing a child, without even flinching. Even the memory of the sight almost turns Dean’s stomach. And the fact that Castiel- the angel, for crying out loud, could actually do that…..
Some tiny part of Dean is regretting that he came back to the hunting, but the bigger part, the one that loves his brother, the one that, well, missed the angel, begs to rule.
And that’s another thing. Castiel. Dean hadn't prayed to Cas that whole time, just doesn't pray, although he recognizes that he missed the angel’s presence more than he had expected. A whole lot more. When Cas appeared almost immediately upon hearing Dean’s prayer, after ignoring many from Sam, Dean’s heart had given a little flutter. A little tickle in his brain had whispered that the angel looked good and some hidden defense mechanism had whisked that thought away and buried it. Then it only seemed Cas came because he needs help with the angel war. A civil war in Heaven. Boggles the mind.
Beyond his misgivings about the two of them, largely Dean is glad to be back. He missed his brother and wants to stay with him.
And Dean doesn't want to acknowledge it, but he missed the angel, too. A lot. And if it takes a civil war in Heaven for Castiel to come around, then damn the torpedoes and all that. Dean thinks he may have to reconsider his stance on praying.