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•••
Hakuryuu's fourth birthday is spent hiding behind the robes of his brothers and his sister, ducking his head bashfully whenever someone congratulates him, blushing innocently whenever someone dares to pat him on his head and wish him more prosperous birthdays to come.
He hardly knows anyone from the celebration that is being thrown to celebrate his birth, so he carefully doesn't greet them back in fear of getting their name wrong. He hides his face behind his long sleeves, arms raised to his cheeks, whenever someone talks to him for more than a few seconds.
He could have excused himself after the third person attempted to pinch his cheeks, could have scurried along the hallways that still felt looming and foreboding to his tiny self, could have gotten lost amongst the maze-like corridors of the southern palace, could have stumbled upon a freckled young man buried underneath heaps of scrolls in some hidden study.
He could have discovered the wealth of knowledge tucked away in the confines of bleary surroundings and mottled bookshelves, could have spoken with a young man with thirst for war strategies, could have gotten himself an ally in the form of a military strategist whose mind had the ability to foresee the moves of people as though they were playing in his chessboard.
He could have been allied with Ren Koumei and discovered Gyokuen's plot to take over the empire from within.
But Hakuryuu stayed behind the robes of his brothers and his sister.
And the story of his life goes on.
•••
Hakuryuu's fifth birthday is spent avoiding the threat to his life in the form of his sister's attempt at cooking, shaking his head in terror whenever someone tells him that his sister is looking for him so he can taste her cake, shaking his hands in horror whenever someone tries to drag him back to where his sister is waiting.
He hardly sees his brothers recently, busy as they are with helping their father with the campaigns to the west and attending to their crown prince duties, so he doesn't make a fuss about them not being there for his birthday. He pretends his name isn't 'Hakuryuu', feet moving in quick steps, whenever he hears his sister's voice approach.
He could have thought to hide himself in his sister's room because that was the last place she'd ever think to look for him, could have bumped into his sister and her newly-assigned aide, could have been doomed by his sister to taste the cake that surely was created with unearthly materials because it looked so out of this world.
He could have commented on the unfashionable goatee his sister's aide had, could have spoken with a young man that had the constitution of being a king that could rule continents, could have gotten himself an ally in the form of a man whose loyalty to his goals granted him the ability to foresee the uses of people as though they were parts of his limbs.
He could have been allied with Ren Kouen and obtained the power to resist Gyokuen's plot to fill the world with depravity.
But Hakuryuu stayed hidden in the palace's dark corners.
And the story of his life goes on.
•••
Hakuryuu's sixth birthday is spent trying to look presentable as the celebration of his birth also coincides with the welcome celebration for the most important visitor their palace will ever have, patting his cheeks every now and then to make sure the powder that has been painted on his face hasn't melted with his nervous sweat, wiping his hands on his robes every so often to make sure that he won't embarrass himself when his turn to greet the country's Oracle comes up.
He hardly understands anything about their guest's importance, because his father hasn't been showing his face in weeks, his brothers aren't forthcoming with any information, his sister simply smiles serenely at him, his mother just smiles sweetly at him, so he doesn't make it too obvious that he has no clue about what being an Oracle really means.
He could have pretended being ill so he could avoid being part of the welcoming celebration, could have scuttled along the maze-like hallways that stopped feeling looming and foreboding to himself, could have bumped into someone who was almost his age but with an air of twisted maturity in him.
He could have tugged at the other's red locks to grab his attention, could have spoken with an older child that had the look of controlled deviancy, could have gotten himself an ally in the form of a man whose love for his family gave him the ability to foresee the values of people as though they were all valuable in this world.
He could have been allied with Ren Kouha and possessed the support of those who wouldn't stand for Gyokuen's plot to abuse the empire's citizens for her own good.
But Hakuryuu stayed in the welcome entourage for the country's Oracle.
And the story of his life goes on.
•••
Hakuryuu's sixteenth birthday is spent rehearsing his lines to make Koutoku agree to sending him off to a trip to Sindria, smiling at what he considers appropriate intervals, pleading his case with the right mix of enthusiasm and apathy at the results of Koutoku's decision.
He hardly cares about who he will be going on a trip with, because it's not like there's anyone who matters in their country aside from his sister, so he doesn't protest at all when he's advised that he'll be staying aboard the same ship as the rest of the visitors to Sindria.
He could have practiced out on the deck with his spear, could have avoided the watchful eyes of the servants that were sent along with him, could have spent more time with the Eighth Imperial Princess that was not noticed by anyone except for Kouen and Judar.
He could have shared his sentiments about being a useless pawn that was just moved along by the wishes of the empire, could have spoken with the young princess that persevered despite being stomped upon by others, could have gotten himself an ally in the form of a warrior whose devotion to her loved ones granted her the ability to foresee the smiles of people as though she truly cared about each one of them.
He could have been allied with Ren Kougyoku and acquired the strength to overcome Gyokuen's plot to drive the whole world to despair.
But Hakuryuu stayed in his own room to think about how he could convince King Sinbad to help him split the Kou Empire into two.
And the story of his life goes on.
•••
Hakuryuu's eighteenth birthday is spent cursing himself for wavering whenever he thinks of Alibaba's brightness, regretting his move to desperately obtain Morgiana's hand in marriage, resenting his sister for her calm acceptance of the way this world laughs at them.
He hardly cares about anything else at this point, because nobody is able to understand his motivations and his plans, so he doesn't say anything at all when his sister continues to not ask him what's wrong, when he thinks of how comfortable it was to spend time with Alibaba, when he remembers how light everything felt when Morgiana smiled at him.
He could have confessed the darkness that has plagued him ever since the Great Fire to Alibaba after he swiftly decapitated the so-called Holy Mother, could have admitted that the reason why he wanted Morgiana to come with him to the Kou Empire was because he didn't want to continue being alone in his path, could have unburdened his chaotic thoughts to his sister as they traveled with the Kouga Cavalry back to where the witch waited for them.
He could have gained the support of the Prince of Balbadd whose brilliance granted him the ability to touch the hearts of people, he could have gained the understanding of the exceptional Fanalis whose strength granted her the ability to understand true weakness, he could have gained an ally in the form his sister whose wishes for peace granted her the ability to foresee the choices of people as though she would support each one of them.
He could have been allied with the important people in his life and acquired the force to overthrow Gyokuen's plot to reduce everything to nothingness.
But Hakuryuu stayed quietly locked inside his own heart and refused to let anyone in.
And the story of his life goes on.
•••
•••
•••
Hakuryuu's nineteenth birthday is spent—
"What the hell are you doing, Judar?"
"As you can see," Judar pointedly gestures to the sculpture of ice that he's been painstakingly paying attention to for the past thirty minutes, "I'm doing a wonderful job at making an ice sculpture of you! I made sure to add a little smile there, even if you're being grumpy and stuff, you know?"
"I see that you're doing a wonderful job at being useless, as usual." Hakuryuu crosses his arms across his chest, his shoulder plate and his spear meters away from him. Judar generously doesn't point out how soft Hakuryuu is becoming towards him, for him to abandon his weapons that far away while Judar has his hands on his staff. "Not that I expected any better from you, but one would think that since you know that there's an invading force coming from the Northern Plateau, you'd actually be preparing for battle."
"One would also think that a certain someone will be happy at the thought of receiving an ice sculpture as a birthday gift," Judar says with a laugh as he deliberately adds a layer of ice to the sculpted Hakuryuu's stomach, as part of him teasing Hakuryuu a few days ago about how he'll definitely grow fat if he just sits on the throne and issue orders using Belial's abilities.
"One would also think that a magi would know that their king would prefer war victory as a gift, instead of something useless."
Judar also generously doesn't mention how it's rare for Hakuryuu to just admit out loud that they're a magi and king combination – he knows, he knows that he knows, he knows that he knows that he knows… - but then again, he also lets it slide that despite Hakuryuu's scathing words and icy tone, he's rather warm when he stands beside Judar, their arms rubbing together at their proximity.
"Maa, maa, don't sweat that, Hakuryuu~" Judar adds the finishing touches to the sculpture's face, adding the jagged lines of the scars that elevate Hakuryuu's beauty to an almost unfair level. "If you already know the outcome then it's not gonna be a good gift, you know? They are wasting their time, but hey, I'm really excited to test my new findings on them!"
"Hmph," Hakuryuu breathes out and Judar kisses that breathe away from him as soon as he completes the ice sculpture, his staff and his creation hanging in the air thanks to the extension of his anti-gravity magic.
Judar slides his hands from Hakuryuu's arms to his neck, drifting by his pulse and moving up to bury his hands in his king's hair that grows longer each day that they continue to win against the fate of this world and the protests of those who had usurped the rightful throne. He massages his king's scalp in an effort to help relieve the other's tension at the daily attacks at their kingdom. He alternates between licking into his king's mouth and tasting more of his acidic words before they even come out, and peppering kisses into his king's face so he can imprint this moment into his memories.
Just as abruptly as it started, Hakuryuu pulls away from Judar, calmly stepping away as though they haven't spent the past ten or so minutes devouring each other's very being.
Even without another word, Judar follows Hakuryuu into his bed, following the lead of his king who follows his lead as the magi, a snake devouring its own tail for lack of anything else to devote itself to.
And for a moment, both of them think of how things would have been so different if any of them had made a different choice in their life.
And after that brief moment, both of them think that things would surely still end this way no matter what.
•••
•••
•••
Hakuryuu's nineteenth birthday is spent insulting his magi's choices of hobbies and gifts, insulting his magi's carelessness and lack of preparation against the invading force that he himself has spied on during his afternoon walks in the air above the northern palace, insulting his magi's lack of stamina at fulfilling his promise to drive Hakuryuu crazy with want and need.
He hardly cares about the world's opinion about his staunch refusal to join hands with them in their fight against a common enemy, because that means that he'll end up having to forgive Kouen without erasing him from this world, so he doesn't attend any of their peace negotiation invitations no matter who they send as a messenger.
He could have talked more with his sister, could have talked more with Alibaba, Aladdin and Morgiana, could have talked more with his step-siblings.
He could have let go of his anger, could have overcome his dark thoughts, could have gotten himself the entire world as an ally.
But Hakuryuu stayed in the past, and stayed with his grudge, and stayed with the promise that will grant him the world even if it's destroyed, and stayed inside the hold of Judar's hands.
And so, the story of their life goes on.