Work Text:
Kazuichi Souda adjusted his grip on the wrench, eyes narrowing in focus as he reached a little deeper into the car. His legs were akimbo outside, waving for purchase against open air, but his front half was entirely encased in machine. Shifting to get a better position, he stuck his tongue out ever-so-slightly in concentration.
“Kazuichi!” The voice boomed from outside his compartment.
Kaz jumped so hard that he slammed his head into the roof of the compartment, accidentally biting his tongue hard enough to draw blood. Letting loose a string of curses, he wriggled his way out of the car, collapsing onto the floor and holding his mouth in pain. Opening his eyes slowly, he was able to make out the face of a pale, dark-haired, severe-looking teenager, standing over him.
His face split into a bloody grin. “Oh! Hi, Gundham!”
Gundham’s brow creased in concern. “Were you attacked while I was away? Did you disregard my warning to stay safe in your dorm during the witching hour, and face some dark foe?”
Kazuichi sat up, spitting hot pink. “Nah, man. Only dark foe I’m facing is my fucking teeth.”
Gundham nodded sagely. “They are formidably sharp. You would do well to mind them in the future.”
“Yeah, no shit.” Grabbing a glass of water, Kaz swished and spat the remainder of the blood into the dingy metal sink in the corner of his workshop. “Sorry, man, kinda caught me at a bad time. Did you need something?”
“I was simply checking in,” Gundham assured him. “My dark queen had noticed your absence, and I had wondered if you had retreated to your alchemical factory and overstayed your welcome.”
Kaz brightened. “Sonia noticed I was gone?” He’d (mostly) made his peace with the fact that Sonia was never gonna give a shit, but old habits die hard, damnit.
“I suspect it was closer to the acceptance of a blessing than anything else, but, yes, she noticed.” Gundham fixed him with a look. “It isn’t wise to spend so much time here, Kazuichi. You are merely a mortal, and are as such subject to mortal diseases such as hunger and exhaustion.” He held up a paper baggie, a slight awkwardness in his stance and expression. “I brought McDonalds.”
Kazuichi relaxed, grinning and accepting the paper bag. “Yeah, you were right on the money. Thanks, man.”
Gundham and Kazuichi had stayed friends ever since Gundham’s birthday six months previous. Since then, they’d grown fairly close, setting aside old rivalries in favor of getting to know one another judgement-free. Hell, if it weren’t for Hajime, Gundham might’ve been Kaz’s best friend.
Of course, being generally stupid and lacking in any self-preservation skills, he’d immediately developed a ridiculously massive crush on him. He was predictable like that.
It hadn’t been the first time he’d been attracted to a guy. Hell, it hadn’t even been the first time he recognized what he was feeling as attraction (he had Hajime to thank for that). But, bewilderingly and deeply frustratingly, it wasn’t going away. He couldn’t discount it as a fluke, couldn’t laugh it off as some weird response that he wouldn’t look too far into. Gundham was just… Gundham. And, yeah, that had been kinda annoying at first - lord knew Kaz hadn’t always been the guy’s biggest fan - but now, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Kazuichi had never had someone who wasn’t irritated by him before. He’d never had anybody that sat and listened to him when he needed it, or took him seriously, or brought him fast food because they were worried about him not eating enough. Kazuichi hadn’t had a friend in years. He hadn’t been able to trust anyone in years.
Gundham hadn’t either, though. So, in that way, they were well-matched.
“Are you planning on vaporizing that burger through sheer force of will, or are you going to eat it?” Kaz jumped out of his thoughts to find Gundham watching him.
“Sorry, dude! Just… y’know, just thinking.”
“Would you care to share the inner recesses of your mind with me?”
“Nothing you don’t already know.” Except for the ‘probably maybe a little bit in love with you’ part, but that information was on a need-to-know basis, and the only person who needed-to-know was currently occupied with a happy meal.
Kazuichi sat down on his worktable, and, after a moment, Gundham joined him. On instinct, he grabbed the end of Gundham’s scarf, worrying it with his fingers (a habit that Gundham seemed more amused by than anything). The softness of the fabric - not to mention, the fact that it was Gundham’s - settled his thoughts, bringing him to reality enough to come out of ‘making shit’ mode and into ‘being a human person’.
Gundham glanced up at the car. “Have you made process taming this mechanical beast?”
“Yeah, I think so!” Kaz took a bite of burger. “The school supplies me with some really fucked cars, so this little shit-” he kicked the tire good-naturedly “-has taken a little while to get back into working order, but we’re getting there!”
Gundham nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. Your chosen path seems a dangerous one, and it does me well to know that you are rising above it.”
Kaz snorted, as though the words didn’t send warmth spreading through his chest. “Yeah, big talk for the guy whose arm is about two injuries away from falling off.”
Gundham bristled. “You mock me, mortal. My form is not so easily-“
“Yeah, I know, I know.” Kaz mock-punched him in the arm, leaving a few inches of space between his fist and Gundham’s coat. “But your ‘form’ isn’t bulletproof, alright? Spare a thought for your poor, innocent skin cells.”
Gundham rolled his eyes, a begrudging smile on his face. “Fear not, Kazuichi. You are still the only one permitted to truly harm me.”
Yeah, they were still on that. The two of them had probably outgrown the whole ‘take care of yourself so I can kick your ass properly one day’ thing a long time ago, but they used it anyway. The way Kaz saw it, it was a nice compromise: a way to say “don’t get yourself hurt, I want you to be okay” without having to contend with icky things like emotions. Gundham’s previous statement didn’t sound like a ‘thanks, I’ll do my best’, but Gundham rarely said what he meant in the way people were used to understanding. It was part of why Kazuichi liked him. No one was as good at being themselves as Gundham Tanaka.
Self-consciously, Kazuichi reached up to twist a lock of bright pink hair around his finger.
“For real, though, how are things over in the zoo?”
Gundham straightened, clearly excited. “I have been keeping vigilant watch over the lair of my greatest serpent for many weeks. Her minions are yet to rise from their damnation, but will do so in a month, if all goes according to plan.”
Snake, eggs, month before they hatch. Got it. “That’s awesome, man! I bet you’re excited, yeah?”
“A demon from the innermost circle of Hell does not get ‘excited’,” Gundham said coldly. Then, slowly, his eyes softened, and his lips curled into a smile. “But I am waiting in anticipation for their entrance into this dark world.”
Kazuichi turned away to hide a smile of his own. God, Gundham was sweet. No wonder Kaz had it so bad.
He wasn’t sure where he stood, really. He knew that he felt differently about Gundham than he ever had about Sonia (or, really, any girl). He knew that he liked being with him. He knew that, were he to grab him by the jumpsuit and kiss him senseless, he wouldn’t be opposed. He also knew that bringing a guy home would be a great way to wind up dead in a ditch, which meant that he wasn’t too absorbed with self-discovery.
Gundham, on the other hand, was (as Kazuichi had found out a few months ago) openly and proudly gay. Which complicated things.
Kaz finished eating, promised Gundham he’d go to bed at a reasonable hour to get him to leave and get to class, and then stayed in the workshop until he physically couldn’t hold up a wrench. Again, predictable.
Climbing the stairs, opening his dorm room door, and crawling into bed seemed like a practically impossible feat, but Kazuichi found it within himself to pull himself the whole way through sheer force of will and “Gundham will kill me” energy. Collapsing into his bed, still dressed in an oil stained jumpsuit, Kazuichi closed his eyes.
Immediately, of course, he was wide awake and restless, unable to relax enough to even keep his eyes closed. Maybe Gundham had the right idea: whatever ‘god’ was up there, it was clearly a little bitch.
At least the random burst of energy gave him time to change into pajamas and take out his contacts. Points for insomnia.
After a short while of trying to fall asleep, Kazuichi rolled over and grabbed his phone.
Kazuichi: u up?
A few minutes passed, and Kaz had almost given up, when, suddenly, he got a text.
Gundham: Kazuichi, my sharp-toothed enemy in my darkest battle to reclaim the Underworld, what in the dark lord’s name are you doing awake.
Kazuichi: tried sleeping it was boring
Gundham: Often demons steal into one’s skin at night and leave them itching to roam and search for mischief. Could you be a victim of this phenomenon?
Kazuichi: dude if thats the case then i think the demon has a bias bc this is EVERY NIGHT AAAA
Kazuichi: but fr just checking in ;P
Gundham: While I appreciate your interest in my company, I insist that you get sleep.
Kazuichi: if i didnt know any better id say u wanted to get rid of me
Gundham: I assure you, Kazuichi, nothing could be further from the truth. A true dark lord is nothing without a nemesis, and you would do well to remember it.
Kazuichi stared at the message for a few moments, feeling heat rise into his cheeks. It was… sweet, somehow, in the way that Gundham’s messages and idioms and speeches so often were. He knew that it was silly, being so affected by someone calling you their nemesis, but Kaz had gotten good enough at Gundham-speak that he got the point: Kazuichi was important to him. They were important to each other.
Kazuichi: right back at u, dude
Gundham: I will speak with you first thing tomorrow, alright? I swear it on the spaces between the stars.
Kazuichi: im gonna hold u to that!!! Im so lonely
Gundham: Fret not, within me rests enormous power, capable of performing even the most inexplicable miracles. Wielding this, securing your comfort should be no large task.
This wasn’t fair. Kazuichi tightened his lips, a nearly physical ache in his chest. It wasn’t fair that Gundham was so good to him. It wasn’t fair that so much kindness was wasted on someone like him. Certainly, it wasn’t fair that he’d started liking the guy so damn much.
Kazuichi had been told about a million times that life wasn’t fair. That everything in the world existed to beat you down, and that the only way to rise above was to beat it right back (he wondered, sometimes, huddled in his room with a split lip and tears drying on his cheeks, if he was the ‘world’, if the problem was him, if everything would be simpler if he didn’t exist). But, somehow, Gundham’s approach - the value of life, of kindness, of promising to make someone feel better regardless of circumstance or worth - hurt worse. It felt like Kazuichi was cheating something.
Kazuichi: thanks. night
Gundham: Good night.
Kazuichi turned off his phone, and then the light. He lay awake for what might have been hours or minutes, staring at nothing at all, wondering how long it would take for Gundham to look at him and really see him properly.
He wondered how long before Gundham stopped liking what he saw.
…
Shocking absolutely no one, Kaz felt like shit in the morning.
His arms were sore, his head hurt, and he was deeply disoriented. Fucking exhausted, basically.
He’d have thought that, after having pulled so many all-nighters, he would’ve gotten over the concept of being tired. According to multiple doctors, the best nurse in the world, Gundham Tanaka, and his own body, this wasn’t the case, but Kazuichi was a real believer in doing the same thing a million times and expecting a different result.
He didn’t even know what day it was, a feat that was, while not uncommon for him, certainly not welcome. He didn’t operate too well without a firm schedule (which, when paired with his incapacity to create a schedule and stick to it, resulted in him not operating ‘too well’ ever). Grabbing his phone off his bedside table, Kaz flopped over to check the day.
June 28th.
Oh. Kazuichi groaned, rolling back over onto his stomach and burying his face into a pillow. Wow, he needed to get his shit together. One more day, and he fully would’ve missed his birthday. Not that it would’ve made much of a difference - he sure nobody remembered, despite him having mentioned it at the beginning of their freshman year to Sonia (she’d been mentioning throwing everyone parties, but had seemed vaguely irritated when he’d interjected, and it had gone unnoticed last year) - but it was the principle of the thing. Missing your own birthday was about the saddest thing a human person could do.
He wondered if his dad would call him tomorrow. Or text, even. He had a shitty memory when it came to dates, so forgetting wasn’t uncommon, exactly, and reminding him was more often than not met with anger (don’t beg for attention, kid, you’ll just sound fucking desperate). Still, it might be nice to get a happy birthday from someone.
Kazuichi was brought back to reality by a knock on his door. With only mild exasperation (what time was it, even?), he rubbed a hand over his face in a vain attempt to wake up, nearly smacked his head on the desk trying to get up, and stumbled to the door.
Gundham stood in the door, dressed in his usual attire, eyes lighting up as Kazuichi yanked the door open. “Ah! Kazuichi! I hope I did not awaken you from your well-deserved rest.” As Gundham’s eyes settled on him, Kaz could see his lips twitch in amusement.
It was at this moment that Kazuichi realized a couple of things:
1: He was dressed in the pajamas he’d been wearing since the second grade (in different sizes, of course—he wasn’t that short).
2: Those pajamas were a light gray, and featured a frankly staggering number of small cartoon frogs leaping across the fabric.
3: He wasn’t wearing his beanie, and his roots were definitely showing through.
4: He hadn’t put in his fucking contacts.
5: He was a dead man.
Kazuichi felt himself flush. “Yeah, no, man, you- I mean, I haven’t been up for long-“
“I can see,” Gundham said, clearly struggling to suppress laughter.
“Hey!” Kaz protested. “I’d like to see you wake up all pretty and shit with no effort.”
“This implies that you find me pretty,” Gundham pointed out.
“You are horrible and I hate you,” said Kazuichi, largely to deflect from the fact that Gundham was absolutely right and that Kaz absolutely did. “At least take off your throat-stompers if you’re gonna talk to me? You’re already taller than me, this is just embarrassing.” Gundham was only, like, two inches taller than him normally, but the thick-soled boots he was so fond of added enough to his height to leave him towering over barefoot Kazuichi.
Whether or not Kazuichi was actually upset about this height difference was thoroughly unimportant.
“I only wished to fulfill my promise to speak with you. With that done, we must get to class.”
Kazuichi groaned. “I can’t stay in the workshop?”
“Miss Yukizome has suffered your absence greatly,” Gundham said gently. “If you’d truly like, I wouldn’t be opposed to making excuses on your behalf, but we would be blessed by your presence, if you are amenable.”
Rolling his eyes, Kaz stepped backwards. “Yeah, alright, I’ll come. Just let me get changed, okay? I’m not going to class in frog pajamas.”
“One could only dream of such an event,” Gundham said with a half-smile that warmed Kazuichi all the way to his toes. “I’ll see you in a moment.”
Kazuichi got dressed, put in his contacts, shoved a beanie over the dark hair poking up from his scalp, and hastily did his makeup (an action which, even after doing it nearly every morning for years, still had him glancing over his shoulder and resisting the urge to wipe it off at every sound). Stepping out into the hallway, he followed Gundham to class, slipping into his seat with a casual “heya, teach” and resigning himself to a day of lost work.
Not that he disliked it in class. Seriously, it was mostly great. He loved the shit out of his homeroom, and the rest of school was largely manageable.
It was probably his birthday getting to him. He wasn’t like Gundham; he wanted people to know his birthday, and to care. He wanted to be liked for one day, even if it ended at 12:00 AM on June 30th.
Not that he’d do anything about it. He’d learned his lesson from the first time: announcing your birthday to everyone unprompted was rude. It implied that you were attention-seeking (bad) and self-absorbed (bad). Ultimately, though, it didn’t matter that much. He was already the class joke. He wasn’t adding anything to the group. Only really good thing about him was his talent, and even that got looked down upon (the awkward kid who tinkers in class, who talked too loud and too fast about too many things and didn’t explain anything well, who stayed up all night making mechanical hamsters for people that he thought hated him). He was a missing link, an empty slot in what was otherwise a tight circle of close friends. No one in the class really gave a shit if he was there, and he didn’t blame them.
Kazuichi’s phone buzzed.
Gundham: My all-seeing eyes detect dark spirits flitting about your head. Is there something troubling you?
Kazuichi turned his head to see Gundham watching him from across the row of seats. He raised nonexistent eyebrows, tilting his head towards his phone.
Kazuichi felt himself touch back down to reality. He was okay. The world wasn’t gonna end because nobody remembered his birthday tomorrow.
Kazuichi: yea im ok
Kazuichi: u got it right tho. demons n all
Gundham: I imagined as much. If you’d like, I could make you something to ward them away?
Kazuichi: yeah dude sure!!!!! only if i get to make u another hamster
Gundham: This seems more than fair to me. A pact has been sealed, Tamer of Automatons. Be wary, for I would sooner fall for seven nights into the pits of hell than betray your trust.
Kazuichi: u too dork
Kazuichi put his phone away, chest tight. Goddamnit, he had it so bad.
…
Sleep prickled at the backs of Kazuichi’s eyes. Taking a sip from a can of energy drink (knockoff, because this school was hell), he adjusted a gear, sticking it firmly in place and twisting the knob. Irritation rose in his throat as the hamster began movement, but suddenly stopped midway through. He understood the problem (he’d been dead-set on making this one resemble Champ-P - objectively the best of Gundham’s devas - which meant bigger joints and a lot of headaches surrounding making the damn thing move), but had absolutely no idea how to fix it.
Usually, these little guys were a fun challenge. He didn’t make a lot of toys, and he definitely didn’t know a lot about animal anatomy, so it was always kinda nice to come at his work from a new angle and try to think about muscles and joints and liveliness. He’d made a few different things since Gundham’s birthday in December - cats, raccoons, hedgehogs, and even a fish, swimming propped up on a small pedestal - but hadn’t attempted a hamster since. Maybe he was just out of practice.
At the edge of his work table, a small digital clock flicked to 12:00 AM. June 29th. Kazuichi Souda was officially 17 years old.
“Happy birthday to me,” Kazuichi murmured, and returned to work. His attention was drawn away nearly immediately, however, as his phone lit up beside him.
Gundham: Happy birthday, Kazuichi.
Something warm and fuzzy poked at the edges of his chest. He was a fucking idiot, for assuming so little of the Dark Overlord of Ice. After all, he’d been the one to tell him where you could find everyone’s dates of birth.
Kazuichi: using my own tricks against me, not fair
Kazuichi: how long have u known it was today
Gundham: I checked the evening of my entrance to the world a few months prior. I apologize for not warning you in advance, but, in fairness, you did not extend such a courtesy to me.
Kazuichi: god texting someone happy birthday at midnight is such a douche move if u think abt it
Kazuichi: like uhhh when ppl go ‘haha see u next year’ five seconds before new years yknow
Kazuichi: sorry for that lol
Gundham: Actually, I was somewhat charmed. I apologize if you don’t share the same sentiment.
Kazuichi: no no!! its cool when u do it!!
Wow, he was subtle.
Kazuichi: im just being a butt man ignore me
Gundham: A butt man? I admit, I’ve never encountered such a thing before, but I’m reasonably intrigued.
Kazuichi: u asshole u knew what i meant
Gundham: Perhaps I would know a little more if you would make use of the comma provided to you on your digital keyboard.
Kazuichi: its my birthday and i get to choose the bad grammar :/
Gundham: Speaking of, I really suggest that you get some sleep. You wouldn’t want to be poorly-rested for tomorrow’s festivities.
Kazuichi frowned.
Kazuichi: what?
Gundham: I assumed that my dark queen would be preparing something? You did inform her of the date, if I’m not mistaken.
Kazuichi: oh yeah
Kazuichi: i mean i did tell her but i dont think she remembers
Kazuichi: or cares
Kazuichi: i mean she didnt last year lmao
Gundham: That’s ridiculous. I will be sure to remind her.
Kazuichi: nonono dont
Kazuichi: i dont want her thinking i asked u to
Gundham: I don’t understand. I was under the impression that people missing your birthday was something of a problem for you?
Kazuichi shook his head. Gundham wouldn’t get it. Kaz sympathized - he didn’t really get it either - but he knew Gundham wouldn’t accept it, either, which was the important bit.
Kazuichi: just dont ok? im not upset but i dont want u to say anything
Gundham: Understood. You would prefer for it to be kept on the ‘down-low’, as they say, then?
No.
Kazuichi: yeah thanks
Gundham: Not a problem. I expect to be permitted the day with you, however. I refuse to leave you alone today.
Kazuichi: wow sounds like ur worried about me ;3
Gundham: Rest assured, this is not the case. It is well known that demons and other such dark abyssal spirits gain power on the days that herald their ascent into the light of this mortal plane. As your sworn enemy and the guard that protects the world from your strength, I must keep a watchful eye on you throughout the day.
Kazuichi: uh huh
Kazuichi: yup checks out
Kazuichi: aw darn does this mean i can’t get up to any good old-fashioned mischief tomorrow
Kazuichi: pls oh pls might i steal just one baby from its crib and replace it with a member of the fae
Gundham: This vexes me. It would not do to allow you to run innocent children off into the night, but it would be deeply amusing to watch you struggle to raise a baby.
Gundham: I will think on this.
Kazuichi: hey!!! id make a great dad!!!
Gundham: Doubtlessly. Get some rest, Kazuichi.
Kazuichi put down his phone, chuckling. He’d go to sleep soon. He just needed a little longer with the hamster.
Was it weird to give someone else something on your birthday? There was no way it was actually rude, right? Weird, maybe, but not bad.
Just make the fucking hamster and stop overthinking it. You sound like a girl.
Kazuichi twisted a bolt into place.
…
The next morning came without texts. He’d only really told Sonia about his birthday, and, oddly enough, precious few people knew about the handbook situation (not that anyone would check). He let his eyes linger on his father’s contact for a moment, before tearing them away. He was probably busy at the shop. Kazuichi couldn’t blame him.
In homeroom, nobody gave Kaz a second glance. He sat down at his seat, glanced over at Gundham to see him offering a nod and a half-smile, and focused his attention on Miss Yukizome, who was rattling off morning announcements with a bright smile on her face.
It wasn’t about until halfway through that he noticed Sonia looking at him. Not staring, just glancing from time to time. Like she was trying to hide it.
Resisting the urge to look over and ask, Kazuichi did his best to ignore it. What was she looking at him for? He’d showered before coming to class, so there was no way it was a smell thing. He’d abandoned any hope that she just wanted to look at him a long time ago, so it was easy to dismiss some romantic fantasy blooming overnight (Kazuichi wasn’t sure if his stomach was flipping because he was upset that it wouldn’t happen, or because the very idea made him more scared than excited. Feelings were fucking confusing).
Sonia was still looking at him. Upon further (careful) inspection, she looked almost nervous. Guilty.
It clicked.
Oh, she definitely remembered what day it was. She kept stealing little glances at Kaz, hoping to see any indication of whether or not he was going to say something to her. He could see her praying to some dark Halloween god (or whatever) that he didn’t make an annoying fool of himself like he always did and force her into a difficult spot.
Guilt squeezed against Kazuichi’s chest. He deserved that. He was a nightmare. He didn’t try to be - he always did his best to say the right thing and do the right thing and be the right thing - but it was hard and arbitrary and didn’t make sense, like the rules got switched up and messed around while he wasn’t looking.
He dropped a hand into his pocket to run a finger over the mechanical hamster. That, at least, made sense.
He knew what he’d done to Sonia was bad, and that he should’ve left her alone sooner (he was tempted to debate the particulars of that - technically, whenever she asked, he did leave her alone - but the point, as he’d been reminded, was to keep leaving her alone). He just wished he knew how to make it up to her.
Or maybe he still wanted her validation. Selfish. He never fucking learned.
The bell rang, breaking him from his spiral. Sonia’s gaze snapped away from him to focus on Miss Yukizome.
“Okay, everyone! Time to move on to your classes—or, if you’ve got a free period, spend some time enriching your social life here at school! Whatever you get up to, be sure to make the most of it!” The teacher offered a cheery smile and a wave, and then Kazuichi was swept into the hallway with the rest of his classmates.
“Kazuichi!” Kaz turned to see Gundham wading through the sea of students to catch up with him. “I hoped to catch you. What is your schedule for the rest of the day?”
Kaz shrugged, slightly embarrassed. “Figured I’d ditch my actual classes and hang out in the shop again. Just not having a real ‘sitting down and listening to someone lecture’ day, y’know.” He wanted to work with his hands so badly, he was practically itching with it. Mostly, he wanted to get out of public view.
Gundham nodded. “Would you mind if I joined you? I have long been fascinated by the inner workings of your dark spellcraft.”
Kazuichi stopped in his tracks, turning to look at Gundham. His face was entirely sincere (if partially hidden under his scarf, which he seemed to be shrinking into).
Huh.
Kazuichi grinned. “Yeah, bud, of course. I’d be happy to have you.”
The two boys walked, side by side, to Kazuichi’s personal workshop. The car was right there where he’d left it, half-dismantled, guts spilling out, messy and fucking beautiful.
Gundham eyed it dubiously. “It seems like your beast has been suitably felled. At what point do you begin work to fix it?”
“Fixing it is only half the battle,” Kaz said, pulling out his toolkit. “I wanna make this baby better than it was when I started.”
“And… how exactly do you plan on doing that?”
Excitement rose in Kazuichi’s chest, making his hands dance across the wrench he’d pulled from his kit. “That, Gundham, is a closely-guarded secret that I would never divulge to the public.”
Gundham nodded slowly. “Right. If you do not wish to speak on your process, I feel no need to listen-“
“Alright, you’ve convinced me, here’s the deal.” As Kazuichi talked, he hopped around the car, pulling things apart and squinting at them like a disgruntled bird looking at a truly fucked nest. He got distracted a lot, trailing off sentences and starting completely new topics at his own whim, sometimes going completely silent and continuing the train of thought internally until Gundham asked him if he was alright, but it felt… normal. Good. It was nice, to talk to someone that he felt was listening.
After a while, Kazuichi had to sit and take a break. Gundham had (bless him) brought lunch, so they didn’t even have to leave the room to eat. Gundham also offered him the protective charm he’d promised, and it was at this point that Kaz took out the mechanical hamster and handed it off to Gundham.
Gundham took it gingerly, eyes lighting up. It was one thing Kazuichi adored about making things for Gundham: it never got old. It was never going to be ‘just another thing’. Everything Kazuichi made was somehow precious to Gundham, in a way that made the creation all the more rewarding.
Gundham broke from the spell, looking up teasingly. “I believe it is generally customary for me to be bestowing you with gifts upon this day, is it not?”
Kazuichi froze, anxiety balling in the pit of his stomach. “Yeah, sorry, it was- it was stupid, I-“
“I am merely joking, Kazuichi. Fear not, if you had truly incurred my hellish wrath, you would have known it.” Gundham inspected the hamster admiringly. “It is an excellent likeness.”
Relaxing, Kaz grinned. “Yeah, where are your little guys anyway?”
Gundham inspected his scarf (the end of which was, once again, in Kazuichi's hands). “Rest assured, my devas are all safe here. They simply slumber in the safety of their habitat, waiting for the hour that they are most needed.” He looked up, a genuine smile on his face. “It pleases me to see you invested in their whereabouts.”
Kaz nodded, smiling back. “Wouldn’t dream of forgetting about them. They’re my best buds.”
Gundham raised an affronted hand to his chest. “And here I thought that honor was reserved for me alone. Truly, I have been wounded.”
Kazuichi snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Did you bring cake with this shit? It’s my birthday, y’know.”
“Believe me, I am well aware. Cake will come later, I swear it.”
The boys spent the next few hours in that room, exchanging stories and jokes and (in the case of Kazuichi) expletives whenever things exploded. Small, manageable explosions, of course. He was good at what he did.
Eventually, though, Gundham had to put the devas back into their enclosure, and Kaz agreed to follow him to his room. If Kazuichi suspected it was a ploy to get him out of the ‘work’ headspace… well, it was his birthday. He deserved to chill for, like, five minutes.
Gundham’s room was something of a zoo, with large enclosures and tanks glowing in every corner. The animals kept there were the less temperature-sensitive ones - anything that required extreme climate control was in the vast amounts of specialized space that the school had set aside for Gundham’s animals - but the room was still slightly warmer than comfortable to accommodate for what was there. Kazuichi generally preferred to hang out in his room with Gundham, but he wasn’t a coward (mostly), so he flopped backwards onto the bed and listened to the hum of various machinery around him. It was the good kind of white noise (with the exception of the sounds of breathing around him, which made him vaguely uncomfortable).
“Are you comfortable?” Gundham asked, setting the devas gently into their habitat. “I did get a cake, if you…”
Kazuichi sat up. “Really?”
“Of course. It is an ancient and long-upheld ritual, and, if no one else will supply you with the necessary components, I am more than happy to oblige.” Gundham pulled open the door of his small fridge and pulled out a small chocolate cake. “I would advise that we save some of it.”
Kazuichi nearly felt like crying. It was such a stupid thing to be emotional about - it was a fucking cake, it was his birthday - but it had been a long time since anyone cared enough to get him a cake. When his dad remembered, he usually did (albeit accompanied with complaints about how he wasn’t grateful enough, and how it was more than he deserved, and didn’t he know how tight money was, this is a goddamn luxury, stop crying and eat the fucking cake), but it was always eaten alone. Kazuichi hadn’t had a real friend in so long.
But he did now. And more than that, he had Gundham, who was dramatic and silly and meant every word of kindness that he said, who gave and asked for nothing in return, who cared unconditionally and fiercely.
Kazuichi was so, so lucky.
Gundham frowned. “I apologize if I have done something to cause you pain, my dearest companion. Might I know what offense I have inflicted?”
“Huh?” Oh, shit, Kazuichi was crying a little bit. “No, no, dude! I’m just- it’s just nice. That’s all.”
Gundham’s eyes melted from concern into warmth. “You deserve it. From the deepest pit of my inky soul, I swear it to you. This, and so much more.”
“Damnit, dude, you’re really gonna make me-“ Kaz broke off. “No more sappy bullshit, let’s eat the damn cake.”
As they ate, they picked up conversation where they’d left off in Kaz’s workshop. About midway through his second slice, Kazuichi got a text.
Dad: When do you get here
Kazuichi froze. Shit.
Had he forgotten something? He had a horrible memory at the best of times, but he couldn’t think of anything. Had they made plans, and Kaz simply hadn’t been listening hard enough?
Kazuichi: For what?
Dad: It’s your birthday. Didn’t you plan on spending the weekend here
He had remembered. Kazuichi hated his chest for tightening with happiness. Of course he’d remembered, it had been stupid of him to think otherwise.
Kazuichi: Sorry, I didn’t think of it. If i could come in tomorrow?
Dad: Didn’t think of it
Dad: Didn’t think to visit your father for your birthday
Dad: Didn’t think of me at all, right
Kazuichi: What? No, no, of course not, I just didn’t think you wanted me over there. I figured you were busy, or something.
Dad: Too busy for my own son, yeah? Is that the kind of father you think I am??
Kazuichi: No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.
Dad: What, you go to that fucking fancy-ass school for a couple months and suddenly think you don’t need me anymore?
Kazuichi: No! Honest to god, I just figured you would’ve said something if you wanted me here.
Dad: A son is supposed to come to see his family on his birthday. You should have figured that out yourself. You aren’t a baby anymore
Dad: You’re my damn kid, Kaz. I should get to see you more than once in a blue moon
Kazuichi: I know. I’m so so sorry. I can come tonight I’ll just get in late.
Dad: Come tonight. We’re going to discuss this.
Kazuichi: Okay. I’m sorry.
Kazuichi put down his phone, heart pounding, tears pressing against the back of his eyes. Of course his dad wanted to see him. He was his fucking dad. Kaz was just too stupid to have picked up on it, just like he was too stupid to pick up on anything, and now he was going to have to drive late and probably get his ass kicked when he got in and it was all his fault.
“Kazuichi?” Gundham was staring at him. “Is something amiss?”
Kaz forced himself to look up with a smile. “Nah, man. I’m cool. Just… kinda have to go.” He wasn’t even going to have time to stop by his room to pack.
Gundham blinked, clearly surprised. “Ah. I… are you alright?”
“Yeah, fine. Just my dad.” Kazuichi shrugged. “It’s cool, man. I’m sorry for cutting this so short.”
“Do not apologize. It is I who should be sorry, for keeping you so long.” Gundham stood, posture fidgety and nervous. “If… you wouldn’t mind staying for one moment? I have a gift for you.”
Kazuichi flushed. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I did,” Gundham said firmly. “If you really do have to depart, I will understand, but-“
“No, it’s…” Kazuichi glanced at his phone. His dad didn’t know exactly how long it took to get to his house from Hope’s Peak, right? “It’s cool. Quick, though?”
Gundham’s lips curled into a grin. “Of course.” He reached under his bed to pull out a plain, rectangular box. “It is… hardly as fantastic as the gift I received in December, but I hope it… there is-“ Gundham broke off, for the first time unable to form a sentence. “Open it.”
Kazuichi picked up the box and opened it to find a large swath of dark purple fabric. Eyes widening in surprise, he reached out to take it out, and found it impossibly soft.
“It’s…”
“It is the same as mine,” Gundham said quietly. “I am no great craftsman like yourself, but I aided in the creation of this, alongside the angel that takes the form of my mother. I’ve… you spend a great deal of time fidgeting with the scarf I carry round my neck and- certainly, I do not mind that, but… I imagined you might desire one of your own.”
Kazuichi lifted the scarf out of the box to see that Gundham was right: aside from a slight difference in the pattern at the end, it was the exact same scarf.
He was holding a scarf that Gundham had helped make. That matched the one he wore around his neck.
“The dark queen has spoken at length of the tradition of friendship bracelets and necklaces, and I thought this might be something of a substitute.” Gundham stood, taking the scarf from Kaz’s hands. “Here.” Slowly, hands deft and gentle, he wound it around Kaz’s neck, lips parted slightly in concentration as he affixed it in such a way that it wouldn’t just fall off immediately. His hands never touched Kazuichi’s neck, but they were close enough for Kaz’s skin to prickle.
For a moment, the two boys just stared at each other. Gundham’s hands were still on the ends of Kazuichi’s scarf. He wore a lot of makeup, but Kaz thought he could detect a hint of color in his cheeks.
Kazuichi snapped himself out of the spell before he did something really stupid and really irreversible. “I love it, dude. It’s… I mean, ‘it’s perfect’ doesn’t really cut it.” A thought occurred to him. “Actually - this is gonna sound kinda weird - could you hold onto it for the weekend?”
Gundham stepped back, head tilted. “Why would I do that?”
Kazuichi shrugged. “Like I said, I’m going to my dad’s, and… I mean, he’d probably beat the shit out of me if he found out I was wearing another boy’s scarf, y’know? Probably just safer for my pretty face.” He grinned, offering a wink.
Gundham didn’t return the smile. Instead, his eyes flared dangerously. “What did you say?”
Immediately, Kaz realized his mistake. “Oh, not- not like it’s like that! I mean, I get what you meant, I know it isn’t- he just isn’t cool about that kind of stuff- which, yeah, sucks, but not much I can- sorry, that isn’t the point, the point is that he’d be making shit up, because there’s nothing- I mean, it’s just a friend thing, I know-“
“Kazuichi!” Gundham interrupted harshly. “Was that… was that some sort of hyperbole or ill-conceived joke?”
Kaz blinked, suddenly confused. “I mean… not really? Not sure what you’re asking, bud.”
Any trace of confusion or mere concern had fled Gundham’s face. He looked angry. “Kazuichi. Does your father- has he ever hit you?”
Oh. “Yeah, dude, I never mentioned? Kinda tough guy, wound up his punching bag a lot. Sorta makes sense, I was a pretty bad kid-“
“Shut your mouth!” Gundham ordered, voice so loud it physically stung.
Kazuichi recoiled. “Dude, I’m sorry, I didn’t think this would upset you!”
“Didn’t think it would upset me?” Gundham asked, voice nearly cracking with anger. “Why anyone - anyone - could deem it acceptable to lay a hand on their child, is beyond even my arcane knowledge, but for you to speak on it so flippantly is…”
“It’s just not that big a deal!” Kazuichi protested. “It’s pretty fucking normal, Gundham, I thought-“
As though his words had broken some straw, Gundham wheeled on him, striding across the room in two steps and grabbing him by the face. His hands were rougher than Kazuichi had expected. “Listen to me, Kazuichi Souda. You may doubt your own worth however you like. You may scorn my wisdom, and ignore what obvious talent and brilliance you contain, and think me a fool for caring as I do. But you will never again tell me that your pain is normal, understood? Never again!”
Kazuichi broke, tears filling his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have said anything, I didn’t mean to- please, just- I’m so sorry, Gundham, I wasn’t thinking and I just…”
Immediately, Gundham stepped away, shocked (whether he was surprised at Kazuichi or himself, Kaz wasn’t sure). Guilt clouded his vision. “I… Kazuichi, I apologize. I lost control, and I did not intend… I certainly did not mean to frighten you. I should not have shouted.”
Kazuichi sat on the bed, angrily wiping away tears. Stupid. This was all such a dumb mistake. He shoved his face deeper into his new scarf, feeling tears soak into the fabric. Stupid.
Gundham sat next to him slowly, gingerly, as if afraid to disturb him. “Kazuichi?”
“It’s fine, man. I’m sorry I’m…” he waved his hand to indicate.
“Do not apologize. May I touch you?”
Kazuichi looked up from his scarf. “I thought you didn’t like- I mean, I thought your touch was poison.”
“That is certainly true,” Gundham said gently, “but you, I believe, are strong enough to withstand it. Just a moment ago, in a moment of rage when my power should have been strongest, my touch seemed to have no effect at all. Why, I am not yet sure, but I trust that we will be quite safe.”
Permission given, Kazuichi buried his face in Gundham’s chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.
“It is entirely alright,” Gundham promised. “I am… I am here for you, Kazuichi. As long as my dark powers sustain my mortal form here on Earth, I am here for you.”
Kazuichi squeezed tighter. “Thank you. I’m-“
“If you apologize once more, Kazuichi, I will release a hellish wrath upon you.” Gundham wrapped his arms around him. “Or, at the very least, I will be displeased.”
So Kazuichi didn’t apologize again. He just sat in silence, in Gundham’s arms, until his breathing was under control. Even then, when he pulled away, Gundham’s hand wound up rested on his. The weight was comforting.
“Have your wits returned to you?” Gundham asked.
“Yeah, dude. Thanks a bunch.” Kaz stood, shakily. “Well, my dad’s probably gonna kill me for being so late - that one’s hyperbole, probably, don’t worry about it - so I’m… can I leave the scarf here?”
Gundham shook his head. “Kazuichi, I cannot allow that.”
“Oh.” Kazuichi shrugged. “Okay, I can drop it off in my room, just seems like an unnecessary extra step.”
“You misunderstand. I cannot allow you to go to the realm of the demon you claim as your father. Not tonight, and, if I have my way, not ever again.”
Kazuichi stepped back, gut sinking. “Gundham, I have to.”
“No, you don’t.” Gundham gestured around. “I will use every ounce of my power to protect you from him. Whatever level he might be, he surely will be unable to go toe to toe with one as strong as myself, and-“
“No, Gundham!” Kaz began pacing. “You don’t- damnit, this is real life, okay? And he’s a real, really scary person who works with his hands and has access to a lot of potential weapons, and you’re a real person, too, no matter how much you try to step around it.”
“I care not for my own safety,” Gundham said stubbornly, standing up.
“Yeah?” Kazuichi asked. “Well, shit, man, I do. Someone has to. I’m not gonna get you hurt, and I’m definitely not keen on making things worse for myself when I have to go back.”
“You will never be under any obligation to return again, if I have my way.”
“You aren’t listening!” Kazuichi stepped close to Gundham, eyes boring a hole through his. “Gundham, this is real life. This isn’t some wild fantasy where you can… can just take me away and be the hero. Life isn’t fair, sometimes, and I’d rather minimize the damage now than be selfish and get hurt worse later, okay? I’ve lived this shit. For seventeen years. Trust that I know how to handle it.”
Gundham shook his head. “Kazuichi, it is you who is not listening. You are not alone in being born of a demon, it is… I do not intend to trivialize the danger, but it is important that you escape. I can help you. I will help you.”
“What, and risk your own neck in the process?” Kazuichi almost had the instinct to laugh. “I’d rather die myself.”
“Why?” Gundham demanded. “You are worth so much, and the opportunity to leave this hellish life is at your feet, and- why are you not willing to risk me for the sake of yourself?”
“Because you’re my friend! Because I care about you!” Kazuichi felt himself tearing up again. “I’m not gonna let you come to bat for me, Gundham. You’re a kid.”
“As are you.”
“Yeah, I’m his kid. I have to be involved. You don’t.”
“I am involved because I care for you, Kazuichi,” Gundham said fiercely. “You are incalculably important to me, and I-“
Anger and pain and irritated affection rose in Kazuichi’s chest, tightening his muscles and taking control of his body and pushing him forward to grab Gundham by the scarf and press his lips sharply against his. Gundham cut off with a noise of surprise as he stumbled into Kazuichi. His lips were chapped.
Kazuichi nearly shoved him away, shame and terror hardening into a stone in his stomach. “You want a reason to drop it? There you go. I’m not letting you get hurt.” Tears sprang to his eyes. “I’m not.”
Gundham touched his lips, eyes wide. “Kazuichi, I-“
“Don’t,” Kazuichi said bitterly. “Just… that’s it, okay?”
Gundham’s hand hadn’t moved. “You kissed me.”
“Yeah.”
“You kissed me on the lips.”
“Yeah, dude, and I feel pretty shit about it. Should’ve asked.” Kazuichi wondered if there was a point.
Gundham, bewilderingly, had a growing smile on his face. “You harbor affection for me?”
Kaz sighed, submitting himself to true humiliation. “Yeah. I know my timing’s real bad, but I just…”
“I understand. Your emotions got the best of you. This is a common predicament mortals often find themselves in.” Gundham fiddled with his scarf, oddly reminiscent of all the times Kaz had done the same. “Kazuichi, you are correct in that your timing was… admittedly rather off. But… if I told you that there was another reason my heart wished for your safety, would you heed it even slightly more closely?”
Kazuichi’s eyes snapped up to meet Gundham’s, surprise rippling through his chest. “What does that mean?”
Gundham winced. “Simply that perhaps my care for you goes beyond that of an acquaintance, or even an ally.”
Kazuichi processed that for a moment. “So, like, a really good friend?”
Gundham rolled his eyes. “No, Kazuichi, not like a ‘really good friend.’ For one so wise, you are remarkably dense.”
“Oh.” Wow, yeah, he was stupid. “Okay. Wow. That’s…”
“Yet another reason that I do not want you going to your father’s,” Gundham finished. “You could never fathom the extent to which you are dear to me.”
“But…” Kazuichi searched for the words. “Why? I mean, I’m- I’m me, Gundham.”
“Indeed.” Gundham crossed his arms. “I wasn’t under the impression that you were expected to be anyone else.”
“But I’m…” Kazuichi felt the lump in his throat return. “I’m stupid, and impulsive, and rude, and I- I don’t know how to act or what to say, and I- I can’t trust people, but I can’t leave them alone, either, and I…” his hands tightened into fists. “I’m not even good enough to have a dad that treats me right. What does that say about me?”
“Bullshit.” Kaz looked up in shock to see Gundham deadly serious. “You are worth more than your admittedly remarkable mind will ever be able to conjure. You are passionate, and intelligent, and have capacity for remarkable kindness. The fact that you struggle is not a character flaw, it is a part of you, and I… Kazuichi, I care for all of you. Including the awkwardness and the bluntness and the denseness. There is nothing in you that I do not adore, and your father is a coward and a fool for not seeing that.”
Kazuichi didn’t have the words to respond. He just let Gundham wrap his arms around him, and broke down for the second time. Gundham cared about him. Gundham was there for him, again and again, despite how many times he proved he didn’t deserve it.
“Don’t go tonight. We can discuss further in the morning, alright?”
Kazuichi nodded, sobbing harder. “Okay.”
“And you can remain here for the night, if you wish it.”
“Okay.”
Kazuichi’s phone buzzed. And then again. And again, and again, throughout the night.
Kaz wished he could say he didn’t care. That he was safe in Gundham’s arms, and that there was nothing to be afraid of anymore. But he would be lying. He was terrified. He didn’t think his dad would come over to Hope’s Peak, but he couldn’t know. He couldn’t be sure.
Still, he wasn’t alone. There were people in his corner. He had friends. He had Gundham.
Kazuichi drifted off to sleep, and allowed himself to believe that things might be alright.