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It was Christmas Eve and a cold wind whipped through the residence. Bad weather was noticeable outside, quite common for the winter season, with most of the meteorologists predicting a snowy Christmas. Nonetheless, they still waited patiently for their friends to arrive. It would be a great occasion so they all could meet their son, who was already almost two years old.
“Anna, I think it started snowing before time and my grandparents won't be able to come.” Yoh said worriedly. "Neither my parents, nor …”
"Tamao?" She asked, hopeful.
Anna didn’t want to cook and she didn't want Yoh to do it either, since he wasn't an expert at making big dinners.
"No…" He denied, as Hana walked towards him with a ball in his hands, hoping that his dad would understand that he wanted to play with him.
Nevertheless, neither of them paid any attention to the little one, who had slipped on the living room rug. He didn’t cry, which was a great relief, as he only watched his parents walking around, trying to find a solution to their problem.
“We have to do something special, Hana can't miss his Christmas.” Anna said harshly, especially when she saw her son's ball roll at her feet. “Yoh, I’ve told you not to leave Hana's toys lying in the living room .”
Yoh looked at her annoyed. Two hours before he had left everything spotless, and he was sure that ball wasn’t there. He took it from Anna's hands and ventured to kick it out of the room, though that didn't faze Anna, but little Hana, who clumsily got up to chase his toy.
Hana followed his ball and watched it rolling into the kitchen. Everything was dirty and he didn’t want to get messy, not because he was the most tidy child, but because his mother had already clearly warned him that she didn’t want any stains, especially today that something was being celebrated. Although it was an impossible mission, since the floor was very dirty and he still stumbled.
“Yoh, I told you not to leave my cookies on the small table, Hana could eat them.” He heard her mother's displeased voice in the distance.
Hana clung onto a towel when he stepped on a tomato lying on the floor, hearing his father arrive with his mother to the anteroom, same tone, same intensity.
“Too late, because he already finished them.”
The toddler inevitably slipped. Everything was stained with tomato’s juice, and it got even worse when he collided against the table, from which a couple of eggs fell. Now he was in trouble, so he had to make a quick maneuver to avoid getting caught by his parents, who after a couple of quite loud words ended up fighting.
Luckily, the eggs hadn't landed right in his face, but he was shocked when he noticed the floor had gotten dirtier. He slowly kneeled down and chose to crawl, after all, his pants were already stained. Hana went on and on until he managed to reach the ball, but when he did, he heard the table rumble.
"In the kitchen?" He heard his mother say, really agitated, as if she was very exhausted.
He watched as the egg carton container fell from the table, splashing him with the clear liquid. Then, he saw a carton of milk falling too, and some noises... it seemed that someone was fighting on the table, quite rough.
“No, Yoh, not that….”
Yoh? Could it be his father beating his mother? No, he wasn't that mean, and after so many accidents, that only clouded his eyes. He wanted to cry, his dad didn't do those things, no, he didn't. The fear and sadness only caused him to drop the ball from his hands. He now watched it rolling to the feet of who, Hana assumed, was his father, but after seeing the bowl of flour fall, he knew that the fight was really violent.
Hana encouraged himself to go after the ball, yet the only thing he got was his father kicking it back, heading it to the TV room. Why was he so unlucky? And what now? Would he have to go under his parents? He watched as the coat his mother was wearing fell from the table…Would it be his fault? It was probably because he had eaten all the cookies, surely that made his mom get angry and now Dad wanted to hit his mother.
The little boy covered his eyes with his tiny hands filled with egg white and waited for it to be over, but instead, now Yoh let his sweater fall to the floor. Hana noticed how their feet were now lost on the table, surely they had climbed on it and of course, so he took advantage of that opportunity to crawl out of there. It didn’t matter if he got dirtier, the only thing he wanted was to get out of there .
And he was succeeding, yet, he suddenly heard a scream? What was that? Was his dad hitting his mother really hard?
"Don't stop, Yoh ..."
He heard his mom say with a very strange tone, way too strange, but Hana didn't stop anymore. He left the kitchen and saw how his ball went to the corner of the armchair.
He used all his strength and got up to take it, he did it well, but when he grabbed the ball, it occurred to him to see where his parents were, and he noticed how Anna was holding his father's hair, no, surely, she wanted to pull it out! Hana didn't want to see that! Not at all!!
Hana closed his eyes and waited for Yoh's scream, but it never came, because the phone rang. Their parents stopped what they were doing, so Hana leaned his body against the wall, waiting to see the next move from them. Finally, Yoh had stood up so clumsily that he almost fell on top of his mother. He picked up the phone and answered.
“Grandma?” He heard his scared voice, and it wasn’t for any less, Hana was also afraid of the grumpy old woman. “Are you going to come? In what... an hour?”
No! That wasn’t what he wanted, he seriously preferred being alone in his room, as he should be, than spending the day playing with ugly and heavy necklaces. Hana was terrified as Yoh, so much that he forgot the ball in his hands and tried to walk as quickly as he could to his room. And he wasn't the only one scared, since everyone seemed to be moving fast, or at least that's what he heard when he left the hall behind.
“Yoh, what a mess you've made!" He heard his mother scream at his father again.
“Mess? Just me, Anna?” He replied, scandalized, "You told me not to stop, So I…."
“Shut up! Your grandmother will arrive in an hour and we have nothing to offer!”
Yes, that was the tone Hana knew and feared, so he hurried his way to his room, seeing his ball rolling far away from him in the process.
“Yoh, I’ve had enough of that ball in my house, or you pop it or you forget about sleeping with me!”
Hana wanted his ball so much, yet it slipped out of his hands, easily as that. He ventured his way before hearing Yoh retorting, violently holding his mother back, again. Now, this time he was going to hit her very badly, especially because Dad had bought the ball and loved to play with it too.
Hana wanted to take his toy and show his parents the ball was fine, that he already grabbed it and it wasn’t going to bother them anymore, but all he heard was the phone ringing again, but this time he didn’t stop to see what was happening, he just walked until he found his ball.
Soon, he would have it in his hands and he would keep it, he would protect it, but when his fingers brushed against it, someone held him up, taking him from it. His father didn’t hear the desperate cries Hana gave to reach for his toy, nor noticed all the effort it had taken him to reach it.
“Put a coat on him and let's go." Anna hastily told him. "Hurry up, Yoh, the stores close early today."
His father sat him on the sofa and put the yellow raincoat on him, the one Hana hated so much. He did it so fast, that Hana almost didn’t even notice.
And as easy as that, he picked him up. The raincoat was already too tight for Hana, not letting him move very well. It was then when his mother realized what he was wearing, giving a stare that frightened him.
“Yoh, don't be silly, that raincoat is for the rain! That’s not going to protect him!”
Hana sighed relieved, they would take that thing off of him and besides, his mom hadn't noticed how dirty he was, but instead of doing the right thing, Yoh just grabbed another coat and put it on him, over the yellow raincoat. Hana could barely breathe! And he couldn't protest because they had given him an orange juice to shut him up.
He took advantage of it and as soon as they all got into the taxi Hana took the bottle out of his mouth to spit juice on his father, but he wasn't complaining about it. Why wasn’t he mad? It was when he felt her mother's arms on him, giving him the bottle of juice again, that Hana realized no one was paying attention to him.
“What are we going to do, Anna? Grandma is going to know that we didn’t cook!” Yoh said to her worriedly, while he checked the grocery list."Besides, we left and the house is a mess!”
And, getting upset, sitting on his mother's lap, Hana spit juice at Yoh again but he didn't care, putting the bottle back in his mouth. How many more times would he do that ? At least a dozen times.
Yes, now Hana was pissed, bitting into the bottle’s nipple to get as much liquid as possible, but the plastic was hard, very hard. Why did his mother want these things to last so long? Hana was glad when he managed to bite it more, but at that moment, Anna got up from the seat and threw his plan away when he dropped the bottle on the street.
"Anna, you forgot something." Yoh stopped her quickly.
Hana had never gotten dizzy when spinned around, but now he could consider it, because his mother had moved so quickly that he almost did. At least, Anna would pick up the bottle from the street.
“What?”
"You haven't paid the taxi." Yoh pointed out, with a laugh inherent to his person.
"And can't you do it yourself?" She asked, handing him a dizzy Hana when she turned again.
“Oh… don't make me remind you why you keep the money, Anna.” He told her in a hurry. “Pay and I'll see you inside.”
Hana’s little head was spinning, especially after going through that revolving door.
Inside the market, Yoh put him in the red car that he loved so much for shopping. He liked the steering wheel since it made him feel like he was an adult in a small car, but right now he didn't really want to drive.
"Hana, be good, I'm going to get another cart," he said to the little boy, before running to get a shopping cart.
And Hana looked at him running quite in a hurry, especially since it was the last one left. People passed by and passed by, and Hana was already tired. He sat up and put his little arms aside, not wanting to move, or even trying to park his car outside with the others. Then, he heard Anna's voice.
"And he left you alone?" He heard her annoyed tone. "As if children were sold on store shelves!"
Hana just looked at her, getting scared when a plump woman approached his face. She didn't mind bending down to where he was, holding his face and pulling his cheeks. That really fueled his rage and he tried slapping her twice before she exclaimed the usual.
"But what a beautiful child you have!" A horrible cry to his ears.
That always made his mother happy, and he didn't really know why. She usually held him on her arms, always replying:
“Thank you, it hasn’t been easy.”
“Is he really yours? Really?" Hana heard the incredulity of the woman, as she stroked his left cheek forcefully. “Would you let me kiss him?”
A kiss? What was a kiss? The toddler didn’t feel that frightened, until he felt how the woman pressed her lips to his forehead and how she used her brute force to almost break his neck, because she wanted to rip off his head for sure. He kicked and hit her with his tiny hands, getting no results.
He touched his forehead, where that woman had drooled over him, horrified when he saw his little hands painted red.
“I always wanted to leave a kiss mark on a child.” The woman boasted happily. “Even more on a child as cute as him.”
And that seemed to make Anna mad, especially since Hana noticed how his car was moving violently. He was sure he didn’t start the vehicle, so there was no explanation for it. He remembered Yoh used to tell him how to put the key to the hole.
“Mom…”
“Listen well, if you put a hand to my son again, I…!”
And again, the stroller moved and he stained the key with the red paint that the lady had left on his hand.
“What's wrong?” He heard Yoh's voice. “Is there a problem?”
“Yes, she kissed my son and she is bragging about it! Is something so… if you had listened to her yourself you would have kicked her.”
But now the one kicking in the stroller was him, who couldn't start his little car.
“Mom...mommy.”
“Ma’am, I ask you to respect my wife and my son. That isn't appropriate behavior.”
“Me? She’s the one who started showing off, and I just gave him a kiss, that's all!” The woman yelled, scandalized, but he wasn’t having any of it.
“Yeah, Anna, leave her, she sure doesn't have any kids and that's why she liked ours so much.” Yoh downplayed the matter, because Anna used to exaggerate thing a little bit.
However, Hana didn’t anticipate the car’s movement nor expected his father’s screaming on the floor, complaining that the woman who had stained his forehead had fallen on top of him just as he had seen on the TV shows.
“Security!" He heard more ladies shouting "This woman is going to break his bones!"
Hana was watching in shock as his dad was trying to say something, but he was too late and couldn’t see anything more since his little car started moving against his will. That’s when he found out the truth.
He wasn’t controlling his car!
He crossed his arms in anger and disapproval, how much would he have to suffer? Well, much more, because he saw how his mother pushed his car, leaving his father behind, lying on the floor. Hana called him with all his efforts, stammering and barely understandable, yet his mom still left his dad lying there.
"Easy, Hana, your father is fine," she said angrily, with words that she could barely pronounce from her mouth. "He’ll join us in a few minutes."
They turned the corner and saw his father's face disappear in the midst of so much pain, almost falling when he heard the sound of many cans crashing on the floor, and people running to the opposite side. Hana got angry when his mother stopped abruptly. She was driving his car, and she wasn’t doing it well at all.
"Hurry, Yoh, your grandmother will be here in no time!" Anna indicated to Yoh, who seemed to be struggling while walking
And Hana noticed how worried Yoh was for him. At last, someone was paying him attention! Yeah, he was still upset, but Yoh was his daddy and he was almost crying for him and… here he was, as if nothing happened.
Then Yoh unbuckled his seat belt and took him out of his little car. Why? He didn't understand! But everything made sense when his dad made him walk.
“I'm sorry, Hana, we have to leave the car behind. Mom almost killed a lady back there and we don't want to attract more attention.” Yoh told him tiredly. “But I can't carry you now, so you're going to walk.”
And Anna continued claiming to him. Why were they always so loud? Worst of all, after arguing they would fight on top of the table or on the sofa, or on the bed or also on the living room carpet and he didn't want to, he didn't want to see that violent reaction anymore.
“And what did you expect? That woman wouldn't stop crushing you!” Replied the blonde. "Besides, Zenki didn't do anything to her.”
“No, he just threw her against a tower of cans and they all fell on top of her.” Yoh said, almost amused. “ Although, I think I should thank you.”
"Yes, you should thank me," she answered haughtily, as Hana felt her caressing his back..
Finally, some attention for him! Yes, that was what he was waiting for, no, wait, not that ...
“Give me a kiss so I can forget about that fuss for a while.”
A kiss again? No, a kiss no, never! Hana didn't want to see any more red paint, he wouldn't allow it. He turned around and saw his mother's face getting closer to his dad. It was a slow moment, so when his father was about to hit her in the face, fortunately, Hana stopped them. With what little strength he had, he pushed himself forward and leaped on her mother, knocking her down on the spot.
He moved clumsily over her mother's body and wasn’t surprised to hear a hint of pain from her. He had felt it too, and it hurt a lot.
"Are you okay, Anna?" The brunette said worriedly. "I didn't think Hana would do something like that. Did he take your breath away?" Yoh questioned again. "I think it was a hard blow."
“Pretty much, that child is just as …”
“As brave as I am?” He approached her jokingly, helping them up, pulling him away from her.
"Rough," she commented before taking a basket for purchases.
Wouldn't anyone ask him if he was okay? He was the baby. And none asked if the baby was okay? Forget it, at least his dad found an empty car for him in the next hall. It was smaller than the other, but Yoh helped him to sit up.
"Did you know that your grandmother is coming and you didn't ask Tamao to travel in advance?"
"You don't like when Tamao comes," he reminded her. "Last time, I think you didn’t let me sleep all night."
No more funny instructions, his dad just pushed the vehicle, trying to walk at the rhythm of his mom.
“Yes, so she wouldn't think about getting in between us.” Anna boasted.
“Anna!”
Hana didn't even bother to turn the steering wheel anymore, giving it a smack with his little hand for being just a silly toy. His parents weren’t going to fool him like that again, well, how would they? They weren’t even talking to him.
“What? You enjoy it more than I do.” replied the blonde, smirking.
Hana crossed his arms. Was he invisible? And inevitably, he looked at his red painted hands. He raised his arms for some attention. Screaming even, but apparently, the speaker drowned out his thin, soft cry...
“Offers in aisle 4! Christmas food …”
Food? But he wasn't hungry, and was already tired of watching his parents fight and quarrel. He needed a new mom, one that wouldn't be so loud, and a new dad, one who wouldn't trick him with a fake car-stroller. Neither kisses, nor ... nothing.
He grabbed a bag of fruit near the floor and placed it in his place.
Goodbye Hana, goodbye to the Tasakura.
And he just saw his parents running to the other asile, obviously in a hurry. He didn't care, he went to hide in the hallway until some family picked him up and bought him. Now, that’s when he remembered when his father explained to him that the toy he wanted the other day was very expensive, because it had a piece of paper attached, just like the one that was stuck to his hand.
Finally some good luck. Ready, it looked good on his forehead. And he waited. He laid down, sat down, stood up again, but it wasn't until another boy his age held his hand that he dared to walk.
When he took his hand, the boy pulled him way too strongly, so much that he almost made Hana fall. He hated when people made him trip, he was the only one that could choose when to stumble. So, as soon as the blonde stood up, he gave the boy a yank, making him fall.
The boy looked big, even bigger than he thought before holding his hand. And, since Hana made him fall, the kid stood up furious, almost on the verge of tears, and ran towards the blond.
What had his mom told him about that? Hana couldn't remember it, but making his little legs move required a lot of effort. As fast as he could, he walked to a car like the one he was in before. He sat down and tried to turn it on with the little key.
Nothing happened and the kid was approaching him really fast. Hana wanted to cry, he was going to cry, but then... magically, the car started, and Hana realized that someone had saved his life.
“But what a beautiful baby we have here," said that young woman. "You must be lost, but no one has reported a lost baby, so you sure don't have anyone, right?"
Lost? What strange things was she asking him? He didn't quite understand what she was thinking, but he already wanted to get off the car. He was about to pass the toys in that corridor.
“Don't worry, your new little sisters are going to love you very much.” She told him, really moved. “Oh… look at your beautiful hair, we are going to call you...Frederick.”
Frederick? What the hell was she saying? And Hana already wanted to get off, only when he tried the woman took him in her arms and sat him down in a stroller with three baby girls. And it even seemed that he called them with his eyes, because the girls all went on top of him.
He tried calling his mom and apparently he said something close enough, but instead of receiving some benevolence from the woman who had rescued him, he only increased his cuteness?
“Oh! You called me mommy?!” She said incredulously and with great emotion. “I knew it, you were the child I’ve been waiting for.”
Wow! Those bad things could only happen to him! He ripped the price tag off his forehead and although it hurt, that was nothing compared to her new little sisters touching his head and hair. Damned girls.
“Come on, guys, your father is waiting for us in the line at the register.” She announced happily. “You’ll see, Frederick, your father is going to love you even more than me! He always wanted a boy.”
Yes, a misbehaved boy like him, grumpy, lazy, cute, pretty...
“Look how smart this child is.” Hana remembered his real mother proudly saying that when he put together his first puzzle. “There’s no doubt he’s going to be very smart.”
“Yes, he's really clever, don’t you think so, you wild little flower?” And his father’s laugh as he made fun of his name made Hana chuckle too.
And now, he had a new family.
Yes, he was pretty sure he was going to cry now. He missed his parents, even though they didn’t pay much attention to him that day. He loved them and he wanted to see them.
He was starting to lose hope; whichever way he tried to move he would collide with the head of one of his new sisters. He tried to move again, and he was about to fall to the ground from the stroller. Yes, his life was going to change a lot.
"And this child?" He heard the surprised voice of his new father.
“He is an abandoned child," the woman replied, "He was neglected, and all by himself. He’s going to be a good son, he’s already calling me ‘mommy’."
“Mommy? And are you sure his parents are not around?" He questioned in disbelief, taking Hana in arms. “It seems he’s a strong kid.”
“Yes, he is! Frederick is the son we’ve been looking for all this time!”
That Frederick again? Hana! His name was Hana, although he didn't really get why his real father was determined to say “Anna” instead of Hana. Well, at least it sounded almost the same, not like Frederick, that was nothing like his name. He would rather be called “Wild little flower” instead.
“Well, we’ll keep him.”
What? Keep him? No, no, no, he wasn’t a toy for them to keep. He crossed his arms and expressed his disapproval looking away. Yes, he knew how much his mom loved that arrogant pose of his, but he really hoped his new parents didn’t think the same way.
"Look, isn't he charming?" The woman exclaimed happily.
“Yes, but hurry! Let’s pay our stuff, it's getting late for dinner” the man said, taking his new son firmly in his arms. “He will be my pride.”
The little boy made the tips of his index fingers touch, hoping this gesture would make the man feel pity and release him. He didn’t want to take the risk and jump, he could fall badly, injuring his head, and that was the last thing he desired.
"Hana…" he uttered with a lot of effort, after so many tries babbling.
“Ow! He wants a flower!” Exclaimed her new mother, amazed. “He's a charm, I don't think I even like our daughters this much!”
Flower? He said Hana, not flower. He was letting them know what his name was, he didn't want to be called Frederick! If they took him with their family they had to know his real name, but all he got as an answer was a chocolate flower.
“Eat honey, we’re going home soon.” They said, leaving him with the girls, although he wasn’t expecting to see her again.
"That boy!" The plump woman from a while ago yelled from the top of her lungs. "That boy!"
She scared him, so much that he even hugged his new sisters.
"Leave Frederick alone!" His new mother came to the rescue.
"I won't! Because of him, that guy threw a pile of cans on me!" She shouted angrily. "So I'll take him away in revenge."
No! Noooo! No! His new father came to his aid too. Hana watched them all fighting, everything because of him.
It was inevitable, he began to cry really loud. There was no one in the supermarket who didn’t hear his wailing, the tears running down his cheeks like salt water, and only then, the adults stopped fighting.
His new mother held him up in her arms, but that couldn’t soothe him. How could he, when he wouldn’t see his parents ever again? He kept crying, and the woman who wanted to take him away escaped into the crowd that had formed around them. His new dad also tried to appease his sadness, he gave him a stuffed animal, a candy, but nothing worked.
“Mo… mmy!” He uttered, in the middle of his cries.
And he didn't expect her to appear among those people. Hana almost jumped of joy when he saw her and when he noticed his father's presence too.
Anna walked over to the boy, calmly holding him up. It was inertia, because as soon as he felt his mother's warm arms he hugged her back and stopped crying. Everyone seemed confused, almost as much as the blonde was when she found out that her son was missing.
"Is he… your son?" The woman who adopted him questioned, unbelieving.
“Our son.” Yoh joined Anna in that small circle of people.
“How careless! He was about to leave with us, we …”
“I know it sounds strange, but even if we lost sight of him, I’d have sensed if he was leaving.” Yoh defended with a calm smile. “I know when he’s not around and when he’s not feeling well”
“That's right.” Anna affirmed.”Now, go away, you all have what you want.”
His mom stayed strong, and he liked her that way.
When they turned around, Hana saw the couple getting sad, as they knew they wouldn’t take him with them anymore. He waited for them to do something else, and they did.
“Wait! Before… I want to give Frederick a hug.” She stopped them abruptly.
“Frederick?” Asked Anna, puzzled.
Yes, Frederick Hana, the boy thought, as he accepted the hug from his adoptive mother and his fake dad came to caress his blond hair.
"He would’ve been an excellent son, but since he's yours," he told Yoh, "Take good care of him."
“I will.” He said relaxed. “Now, we have to go, Anna.”
Hana… his name was Hana, not Anna. Whatever, some day his father would learn to properly say his name. He waved his little hand as a sign of farewell to his sisters.
His mother cradled him in her arms, whispering many, many things that he didn’t quite understand what she was saying.
“Don't run away again.” He heard, between all the words. “Whether we are bad parents or not, we want you with us, do you understand, Hana?”
Yoh smiled at Anna and couldn't help but wonder why she was talking to their son like that, when she used to do her best not to be so cheesy with him.
"Are you going to tell him that you love him?" Yoh asked, taking the bags from the supermarket.
“No.” Anna answered, caressing the blonde hair of her son, who was staring at her. “He already knows that, right?”
“Are you sure?" He asked her, as they left the store and stopped another taxi. "You say you love me occasionally and sometimes I doubt it."
“You don't say that when I let you touch me in the…”
Hana giggled and settled on his mother's lap, exhausted. He had already played a lot, heard and seen way too much, so what his parents were talking about no longer interested him.
“I love you.” Anna said to Yoh. “But I loved him more.”
Yoh laughed and hugged Anna as she watched her little one closing his eyes.
"I don't think you love him more," he whispered in her ear. "You take care of me more."
"He's not cheating on me” Anna quickly retorted.
"Me neither," Yoh replied, taking his son's hand, who seemed to be dozing off quietly. "But he is going to leave you one day, he’ll leave and make his life far away from us."
“Then you’ll be with me.” Anna assured. “And I’ll still love you the same, don’t worry.”
“Thanks…”
"You're welcome," Anna replied. "Now pay the taxi."
Half an hour later, Kino had arrived at their house. They were already waiting for her with a marvelous dinner, which they had taken care of decorating so it seemed home cooked.
“It smells good, but now I want to see the child. Where is the flower?”
"His name is Hana, Grandma." Yoh corrected, grinning. "He’s sleeping in his bedroom."
“That child spends so much time sleeping, the last time I came he didn’t separate himself from his mother.”
"He was six months old, grandmother," Yoh replied, showing her the cozy room of his son. "Anna decorated it, isn't it pretty?"
“Yes, yes...whatever. I can’t see, do you forget it?.” The old woman mentioned. “Now get out. Go and help Anna, I’ll stay with the child.”
Yoh left the room, so the grandmother stayed with the sleeping toddler. A lazy boy like her grandson. She wanted to wake him up, and of course, with all those clothes warming him up, who wouldn’t be asleep?
Kino took off his tiny jacket and discovered the yellow raincoat underneath. She took off the raincoat, almost getting a heart attack when her hands got all wet from a slimy substance.
"Yoh Asakura!" She yelled at him, outraged. "Why is Hana so dirty?!"
END