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Chapter Text

Levi slumped down into the chair and stared at the pile of reports he needed to review on his desk. He wanted to finish everything before lunch time but he didn't have the energy to even begin work. He was exhausted since yesterday because he had to spring-clean the house all on his own. Usually his niece would lend him a hand but Mikasa had been out the whole day to finish some school stuff with her friends. He was starting to wonder what sort of project had been eating up her weekends lately.

Chapter Text

Levi scowled as fifty pairs of eyes stared back at him. He was standing in front of an audience comprising mostly of women from varying demographics but who all shared one thing in common: they all worshipped Detective Erwin Smith like a god. He knew this by their club uniform which was a white shirt with the famous detective's face plastered on it and the words, "All hail His Awesomeness" forming a frame around his mug. Seeing Bushy Brows' face fifty times in one day was nauseating, let alone speaking about his nonexistent admiration for him. The very act made him want to puke his breakfast out. Why was he even there stemmed from his earlier promise to Hange's new assistant to help him out of the money-sucking tradition for new hires in exchange for Bushy Brows' autograph. 

Mike only agreed to forego Moblit's initiation rite to feed the precinct with his first pay if Levi would do something for him. The blond detective had been actively carrying out an undercover mission to spot anyone in Erwin's fan groups who might have a tendency to exhibit deviant behavior before he could turn into a full-blown crazy a** stalker. It was his personal advocacy to protect his former partner and the people around him in order to prevent the repeat of an incident years ago in which Marie was harassed by some of Erwin's fans. There were about a dozen of these clubs all over the city and Mike needed some volunteers to keep an eye on them. 

And so... Levi found himself attending the general assembly of the Association of Erwin Smith Supporters while posing as a new recruit. Everything from his dirty blond wig to his navy blue boat shoes that added a few centimeters to his height screamed fake. Yet he must appear convincing enough to fulfill his end of the bargain with the sniffing douchebag who was flashing a bright smile behind the podium. It took several times for Mike to clear his throat over the microphone before Levi got the cue to start speaking.

"Hello. I am... " f**ked.  

He wasn't really paying attention earlier when Mike introduced him to the group. He was busy spewing out silent curses at him so he simply said the first name that came to mind when he wanted to punch somebody.

"...Zeke."

"Didn't Alex say your name is Roy?" Someone from the audience looked at him confused.

F**k you Alex. Levi glared at Mike before proceeding to answer the question.

"That's my last name. I'm from Trost. I'm a fan of Erwin Smith... because he's a...a...a great detective." He said without much enthusiasm.

"Please to meet you, Zeke Roy. As part of your initiation rite, we would be asking you questions about His Awesomeness. If you pass the test, you will be inducted as a new member of ACES. If you fail, you can try to apply again after six months." A pudgy middle-aged woman seated at the front row took out her phone and began reading out from a questionnaire.

Levi glared at Mike again. That douchebag did not even give him a heads up.

"Where did he graduate?"

Everyone knows that. Levi scoffed to himself. "Paradis University. Graduated with a degree in Criminal Justice. Top of his batch."

"What's the name of the perp in his first case?"

Another common knowledge. Easy. "Deltoff. Got arrested for the murder of his business partner."

"What's his favorite food?"

Levi wanted to laugh and he rarely had that urge. He knew this too well because they would have their lunch at the same restaurant every single time they went on field. "Medium rare steak from Utgard's Palace."

"His favorite drink?"

"Utopia Bourbon by the Royal Paradis Distillery."

"Good. You passed."

The audience gave him a round of applause as Mike handed him the same ugly shirt that everybody else was wearing. Levi bunched it up in his hands and forced out a small smile. "Thanks... Can I go now?"

"You have to wear it." Mike told him.

"What?!"

"The shirt. You have to wear the shirt since you passed."

F**king no way. Not while I am still breathing.

"Come on, Zeke. Wear it with pride. Come on. Come on. Come on, buddy, you can do it or they won't let you leave the spotlight." Mike grinned nervously at everyone while giving him a side glance.

Levi conceded with a low growl. He immediately walked to the side of the room as soon as he had worn the shirt over his head.

"Again, Congratulations and welcome to ACES, Zeke!" Mike cheered from the podium. "Now, let's proceed to our main agenda. First, we will run through the schedule of activities that was prepared by Hans before he left to pursue his graduate studies abroad. Then we will--- Yes, Hilary."

A member of the audience raised a hand. "Is it true that His Awesomeness is getting married?" 

This was answered by a collective gasp from the crowd.

"There's a recent feature on him in Paradis Times in which he was asked that question and to which he replied, 'When she's ready to settle down.'"

"Yeah, I read that, too." Another member confirmed. "When pressed for clues regarding her identity, he just said, 'I'll tell you when the time is right'."

"Did His Awesomeness got back together with that journalist from Paradis Tribune?" A woman at the back of the room thought out loud.

"I don't think so." Her seatmate shook her head. "I read that she's engaged with the owner of the publication."

"It's probably THAT ugly lady working with him in the precinct."

"Wasn't that his younger sister?"

"He was an only child. Get your facts straight, Karen."

"Have you seen her? She wouldn't even pass up as his sister. She's soooo plain-looking!"

"Listen ASSES." Levi had enough of them badmouthing Hange. They had some nerve to call her ugly when they in fact were lacking in that department. Also, how dare they insinuate that Bushy Brows will be marrying HIS girl. That would never f**king happen EVER. He won't allow it!

"It's ACES." Someone from the crowd corrected him.

"Whatever. You should all get your eyes checked because that woman IS beautiful! If you talk s**t about her, I will personally make it sure that you don't get to sleep soundly at night for the rest of your lives!"

The audience stared at Levi and went silent for a full minute until the pudgy woman who quizzed him earlier initiated a huddle in one corner of the room. After a few minutes of exchanging whispers, they all went back to their seats. The pudgy woman stood up and spoke, "Alex, we don't think Zeke is a perfect fit for our club. We're sorry, we can't accept him."

Levi's face lit up. Hell yeah! He quickly removed the shirt he was wearing and threw it to the floor before walking towards the exit. This elicited several gasps from the audience again.

"He is really, genuinely disappointed guys... He just had to let out his emotions. I hope you don't take it too personally. How about we take a short break while I console him outside?" Mike stepped down from the podium and followed Levi out of the venue.

"What on earth is that, kid? We were almost there!" The blond detective shook his head. Now he had to find someone else to do the undercover work for free.

Levi was about to answer him with a tirade against fanaticism and celebrity worship but then Mike's phone began to ring. His ears tingled when he heard Hange's voice from the loud speaker.

"Yo Mike. How's the new recruit? Did he get in?"

"Yes and no."

"Huh?"

"He passed the test then he got kicked out."

"In less than a day? Awww... I feel bad for whoever it was. Sorry, I just couldn't extend anymore. I really need to concentrate on my dissertation."

"That's alright. I'll find a new guy."

"I was prepared to do a handover to him this weekend. There's a lot of stuff to discuss about the club so I'm anticipating that the new recruit would spend the night at my house so we could finish everything in one go."

"Oh... that sounds like a good opportunity to get to know you... I mean ACES better." Mike turned to look at the junior detective but he was already gone. He did not have to wait too long for Levi to come out of the venue wearing the club uniform again.

"All good, Hange. He got back in."

"That's great! Give him my address so we can meet up later. Bye now." The phone call ended with Mike smiling triumphantly.

"Let's go, kid. I'll drop you to her house."

"Sure." 

The blond detective did a fist pump before opening the door of his car. He won't ask the kid how he had managed to make the club take him in again. Levi could have pleaded or threatened his way back. Knowing him, it could have been the latter. He hoped that the kid was prepared to tolerate everything related to the club though. He would just let Hange discuss the details. The club motto was what he was most worried about. He wondered how long before Levi would find out what was printed at the back of his uniform. 

Forever Erwin's bitch.