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Just a burning memory
It had been weeks since that fateful day on the great clock and Ratchet still couldn’t bring himself out of the slump he was in finally coming to head this week especially after returning to his old garage on Veldin.
He hadn’t told Clank he planned on staying here for a while just getting up one night and taking Aphelion, the raw pain of now being the last of his species for good after finding one again only for them to perish quicker than he could get to know him properly eating him from the inside.
Azimuth was just a burning memory that he would forget eventually along with everything he held dear when his time finally came.
Ratchet’s mind sat dull as he sat on the corner of his old bed, the sheets having not been changed in almost 4 years since he moved to Kerwan full time with Clank. Taking another swig of the amber liquid that burnt his throat and dulled the mental anguish he felt he stood up slowly and without his usual grace, making his way over to the photos on the wall that he had somehow managed to forget to bring those years before.
Holding one with a shaky hand ratchet took in the view of himself with clank standing awkwardly around a statue made in their honour
Man I look so young here the Lombax thought to himself as the pale moonlight cast its light upon the photo.
He was 17 there, that hideous statue suggested by Qwark himself after he had the balls to sell them out.
Now he was 26 and already reminiscing about old glories.
Putting the picture down with a shaky sigh ratchet rubbed his face taking another swig before going back to sitting on the corner of the bed in nothing but his boxers staring at the floor and shaking.
Risking a glance upwards he took in his own reflection, his golden fur frizzy from the heat of Veldin he had missed, even in the early morning it still made him sweat, numerous scars from his adventures over the last 9 long years littering his skinny frame. His green eyes bloodshot and distant the same as the ones his father had in the photo of him and Alister that sat on a chain around ratchets neck, the cold metal sitting over his heart as he slumped sightly rubbing his face with his spare hand.
He was the last one left and would die as such in this universe.
Ratchet was content with this until he met Alister only for that buried throb of agony to come to the surface the second he had caught glimpse of his body on the floor of the great clock.
It had only taken two short weeks of attempting to supress these bubbling emotions that once engulfed him that caused him to end up here.
Sad and miserable and alone in the universe at the end of the day.
Sure he had Clank and he would always be grateful for him, but there was not really another chance at seeing a member of his own race, the recent discovery of his parent’s deaths during the genocidal rampage of Tachyon only sending him further into this depressive state.
The memories of all this began toppling over him along with his own thoughts about himself that made him full of anger again and again.
But this was not the time for anger.
Lying on his side Ratchet continued to take several large swigs of the intergalactic grog that burnt not just his throat but his emotional side as well at this point, throwing the empty bottle on the ground Ratchet curled in on himself finally letting several weeks and years of emotional turmoil to bubble to the surface, shaking immensely he began sobbing.
The only sounds being the distant hum of the light downstairs and Ratchets own shaky breathing.
Letting the tears drench his fur he slowly made his way into a sitting position, composing himself for the moment he looked out the window resting his head in his hands fighting oncoming sleep as tears continued to fall down his face as he sniffled. The lights of the stars and moon beaming onto him as he passed out.
Clank had been worried about Ratchet ever since the day they got back from the great clock and into their large apartment in metropolis, he had expected Ratchet to be downtrodden over the loss of Alister but Clank could not bring himself to feel the same way, he had watched his best friend die in front of him without even the dignity of getting to look his death in the eye. Whether he could bring himself to tell ratchet or not was irrelevant in the long run Clank decided as even depressed Ratchet could pull through the dark spot he was in, dead Ratchet was not an option.
Clank stood up and made his way to the front door making sure to lock it on his way out in case any pesky green leotard wearing bandits attempted a raid on the ancient holo film collection again.
As Clank made his way into the interplanetary port paying his fair for a one way trip to Veldin he thought back on the previous weeks.
There had been times where Ratchet simply didn’t sleep at night, Clank often awaking to find him drunk and staring out the window, waking up late in the afternoon with a hangover being just as snarky as he was when he was a teenager but with more venom then back then, any mention of going out or anything to do with the events of the great clock causing a pained expression to paint his best friends face making him leave the room. Clank had caught sight of his hands shaking often which further worried him. Clank was unsure of how to help his best friend in this situation as he had never known Ratchet to not have a will of iron and stubborn headedness in whatever happened, always taking everything in stride and never stopping.
But recently Ratchet had almost given up, disassociating from existence itself preferring to confine by himself, bottling his emotions from clank even.
Arriving on the dusty planet Clank immediately took a space cab to the little garage that sat on the outskirts of the plateau, walking into the open garage the first thing Clank was greeted with was Aphelion sitting powered down with a collection of tools placed nearby, a disturbed trail of dust was all clank followed as he made his way up the stairs that led to ratchets old childhood bedroom.
Opening the door Clank noticed the empty bottle of grog that sat near the foot of the bed, along with his receptors picking up how warm the room was, the next thing clank took notice of was Ratchet, sprawled out across the bed, his face, drool and snoring indicative of deep sleep despite it being 4:30 in the harsh Veldin sun.
Ratchets fur was sticky to the touch and was almost starting to dreadlock. Come to think of it when was the last time Ratchet had let him brush him, he knew Ratchet liked it no matter how much he said otherwise, if an ever present soft purr, almost inaudible was there every time that his fur was brushed.
Shaking Ratchet out of his sleep and into the hangover was something that took considerable effort.
“Ratchet wake up its Clank”
All clank got in response was the slow and steady swish of ratchets tail, a twitching of his ear and a grumpy huff.
“Come on Ratchet, its time you woke up and got ready for the… uh 4 hours left of daylight”
Ratchet slowly turned over to Clank starring at him with the most pain clank had ever seen present in those green eyes but also quite distant. Grabbing hold of ratchets wrist clank began leading him to the shower noticing the soft gentle clink of the watch that was in a chain around his neck.
Attempting to take the small watch off Ratchets neck turned out to be difficult as he shoved clank away with a plea to leave, the first joke ratchet making under his breath since getting back reaching clanks audio receptors.
“Don’t think I need you to hold my hand in the shower pal”
he had said, his voice scratchy and weak.
Clank turned around seeing Ratchets furry back pressed against the shower screen, many scars separated the golden fur as hot fog enveloped the bathroom.
Clank would wait for as long as it took, he trusted it would get better.
He knew it would get better.