Work Text:
No Ferrets but....
Sam Oliver rolled over,cracked open an eye, and screamed, “AAAAHHHH!” He grabbed his phone and checked the time. Sock should be up.
Awoke w/47 pink flamingos in my bed & floor. Explain?
Sam knew Sock was laughing from across town.
U said they were ur minions of evil & protected U from ferrets.
Sam sighed, it worked, there weren’t any ferrets in his room. But, he still had a problem.
Which 1 is the vessel????? Turn them all in? Gladys’ll take them
Sam hoped no one at the DMV would notice he carried 47 plastic pink flamingos with him.
Paper Plates and Pumpkins
Sock stretched out in his bed feeling safe, happy, albeit a bit hung over. Ha! He thought to himself he knew he had been good to drive. He grabbed his phone from his bedside table and texted Ben.
Woke up safe n sound, dude. Told U I was good to drive
Down the street Ben shook his head in indignation. How could Sock have been that drunk? A second later Sock's phone chimed with a text.
Dumbass I drove. U sat in the passenger seat and steered with a paper plate.
Hmm. Sock rubbed his beard. Odd, I don't remember that. Then, he realized the night was a blur. He texted back his lack of memory.
No way didn't happen.
Ben laughed. Of course Sock wouldn't remember. He could have fun with this.
You were humming the mission impossible theme as we ran from the cops
They ran from cops? Why were they running from the cops? Sock was beginning to worry. Not remembering the drive home was one thing, but not remembering fleeing the police, that was a much bigger deal. He had a slight memory of seeing Sam, but they hadn't been after a soul last night. Though he didn't want to give Ben a reason to feel any more high and mighty, he had to ask.
Dude, why were we running from the cops?
Ben had been about to call Sam to see how he was faring this morning, but he answered Sock first.
Well I wouldn't call it grand larceny but plenty of people are missing Halloween decorations this morning.
Sock thought that over for a minute and was about to call bullshit on Ben, there was no way he wouldn't remember stealing Halloween decorations. But, before he could, he got a text from Sam.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the Halloween decorations out.But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sock roared with delight. Now, he remembered. Sam ditched him for a date with Andi, to pay Sam back, he and Ben decorated Sam's room.
That's hilarious, bro.
Hilarious?! Sam thought trying to text and hold an extinguisher simultaneously.
Yeah that's one way to look at it the other is my FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE!Sock immediately felt guilty for laughing and called. “Dude, are you all right?”
“Yeah,” Sam sighed. “My mattress is toast. Literally.”
“Geez, sorry, man. I think the Work Bench has some on clearance this week. We could always snag one from 'damaged' stock.”
“Yeah, no, not a damaged one. Carlos was building a fort out of those. I don't want to even think about what he did to those.”
“Ooh, good point. Still sorry, man.”
Sam snorted a quiet laugh. “If it wasn't for the fire, I'da thought it was pretty funny.”
“Good, 'cause Ben and I had to evade the police in order to obtain all those decorations.”