Chapter Text
It’s human nature to hold on to things. At birth, fingers grasp at the air, and eventually clutch to anything hands can hold fast to. It continues as life goes on and limbs grow larger, clinging firmly to utmost desires.
Choi Soobin was no exception.
A naïve youth, he had often found refuge in the accomplishments of his role models. He fixed his grip on their success, and learned to walk with an iron will.
He wasn’t quite sure when he had decided to pursue law, but the second he had, he knew he’d die on that hill, just as his heroes had taught him. But, as he would later learn, it could be difficult to find opportunities in Daegu.
His mother knew this better than anyone, having lost a lifetime of ambitions to Daegu’s poor reputation. Though it was enough to break an average spirit, it seemed like it only stroked a flame that wouldn’t burn out, and Soobin was nothing short of supported by her.
Aware of the hardships to come, the woman made sure to bring home scraps of newspapers and magazines— any form of media they could afford, really— and force a smile at the light in his eyes.
“Keep dreaming, my love. I want to see you there one day.”
And so he did. The phrase had become his mantra, his driving force, and it eventually grew to encompass him and his purpose.
Nothing made him feel more secure than dreaming, a goal upon which he dedicated tiring hours of his life to. Success was a song he couldn’t get out of his head, and he wasn’t one to give up easily.
Even as he aged and came to realize Daegu was a difficult community to escape, Soobin would recall what his mother had said and strove to work harder. He was always working hard. But, ultimately, it was the only way he saw himself graduating from Hongik University and running a law firm in Seoul— an ambition he had carried for as long as he could remember.
Chin resting on the heel of his fist, Soobin forced himself to focus on his burning passion. He hadn’t come so far just to fall short of his goals.
In moments like these, however, it wasn’t always easy to remember.
Lee Heeseung’s concluding monologue was a buzz in the back of his ears, and, once again, Soobin widened his eyes, an attempt to stay awake. He was Student Council president, not Heeseung, and yet he wasn’t the one discussing their schedules for the month. It embarrassed him, hurt his pride, even, but Soobin wasn’t one to pretend to handle things he couldn’t.
He was starting to get appreciative of his decision, and Heeseung’s willingness to step up. He hated relying on the vice president as much as he had begun to, but it couldn’t be helped. He had started staying up later, working extra shifts to help pay the electricity bill, and hadn’t been able to find the time needed to effectively fulfill his duties as president.
It seemed like the struggle only increased as time went on.
With a farewell from Heeseung, the gathered students yawned and grabbed their school bags, shuffling from the classroom. The meetings were always held at an early hour and, biting back his own yawn, Soobin made a note to discuss better meeting times with the director.
He stood from his chair, his balance weak with exhaustion, and brushed the black hair from his eyes. He’d have to cut it soon, if he could find money from his savings to spare.
“Thanks again, Heeseung.” Soobin perched on the top of the desk. “I owe you one.”
The younger shook his head. He busied himself with grabbing his materials, shoving them in his bag, save a folder. “Not at all, hyung. That’s what I’m here for, aren’t I?”
“Regardless, I appreciate it. Thank you.”
“Any time.” Heeseung grinned, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. He handed Soobin the folder before adjusting the sleeve of his uniform blazer. When Soobin merely raised an eyebrow, Heeseung’s grin widened kindly. “You were really that out of it?”
Soobin’s face got pink with embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“It’s an addition to the tutoring sessions,” Heeseung explained.
Daegu wasn’t the safest place to be, and it certainly didn’t have a positive reputation, but Soobin had come to notice that they did what they could to help the youth succeed. A few years before Soobin had entered high school, the educational system for their district had decided to require tutoring classes for those failing to keep their grades above a D.
His sophomore year, Soobin had been one of the academic achievers offered a position amongst the tutor's ranks, and he had accepted it in the hopes of making his college applications even more appealing.
“You’re the strongest at AP Trigonometry,” Heeseung continued, “and there’s only one student that needs help there. I figured that you’d prefer one student over a group.”
“Got it.” Soobin nodded, absentmindedly fanning his face with the folder. Heeseung was more of an acquaintance than a friend, but he seemed to have a good idea of what Soobin could handle at the moment.
Throwing a parting wave over his shoulder, Heeseung excused himself and left the room. Sighing, Soobin hung his bag over his shoulder and pulled the keys to the classroom from his pocket. He rolled the folder in his hand.
He could look at it later.
The campus was fairly void of activity. The only passersby in sight were those of the Student Council, the few friends willing to sacrifice their sleep to keep them company, and those that had early extracurriculars.
Amongst them, a short distance away, Huening Kai and Kang Taehyun sat at a table, huddled together. Joining the best friends, Soobin rubbed his hands together, shivering at the morning chill.
Taking bread and a cup of coffee from the sleepy Kai, Soobin thanked him and ate in silence. Though it was rare for the youngest of the three to stay quiet, Soobin enjoyed these moments. He didn’t always need words to bond. He enjoyed simply basking in the other’s presence, huddling closer for warmth.
Taehyun spoke first. Hands covered by the sleeves of his navy blazer, he tossed his head, forcing light brown tendrils from his brow. “What did Heeseung hyung want?”
Secretary for the council, Taehyun had carried those traits into their life outside of the classroom. Even when he wasn’t keeping records for the school, he was actively keeping track of something to keep busy.
Today, it seemed, he was invested in Soobin’s business.
“Nothing interesting,” Soobin said. He unfolded the folder. “He just needed to give me a student to tutor.”
Sandwiched between Taehyun and Soobin, Kai pulled away from his cup, cheeks pink with warmth. His blazer collar stood in an attempt to shield his face from the bitter wind. “Are you going to be able to handle another one?”
“Of course.” Soobin tried to keep the annoyance from his tone. He was more than capable of handling tasks he was given, and it hurt his pride when his friends questioned whether he needed help. “The other students don’t need me anymore, anyway. Their grades are back up, so now I only have this one.”
Taehyun nodded. “Who is it?”
Soobin licked his lips, shrugging. He’d have to find out eventually. Opening the folder, he took the single piece of paper, eyes scanning the seemingly blank page before resting on a single name.
The senior froze.
Frowning, Kai took it from him, setting aside his drink to stare at the page. “Choi Yeonjun.” The dark-haired junior paused. “Isn’t he one of the highest ranking students, though?”
“I think so,” Taehyun confirmed. “But isn’t that a good thing? Maybe you’ll only have to spend a couple weeks with him. He might just need a little extra support.”
Soobin didn’t want to “support” Yeonjun. He couldn’t remember speaking to the blue-haired senior himself— their only memorable exchange over the four years had been an unprovoked kiss Yeonjun had blown him in the hallway their junior year— but he could tell he hated the older boy.
Yeonjun was the competition. His position on the academic roster was too close to Soobin’s for the latter to feel comfortable. He needed his transcript to be golden, and Yeonjun had always been the one to threaten it.
There was no way Yeonjun had a grade low enough to require tutoring. Soobin refused to believe it.
“Yeah,” Kai chirped. He patted Soobin’s back lightly before returning the page, wrapping his hands around his cup for warmth. “Who knows, maybe this is a sign.”
Soobin glanced at him skeptically. “A sign?”
“A sign that Huening is off in la-la land, yes. Don’t make it into something it isn’t— hyung looks like he’s already dying,” Taehyun looked at Soobin over Kai’s shoulder. “There’s no sign here, just a student that needs tutoring.”
“Don’t say that.” Kai pouted. “This could be the universe’s way of bringing us a new friend.”
“I don’t want to be his friend,” Soobin muttered half-heartedly. As much as he loathed the idea of working with Yeonjun, he had little choice. It was better to accept it now and move on than wallow in self-pity.
The bell rang, and Soobin noticed the sudden flood of students rushing to class. Standing from the bench, he nibbled on his bottom lip. He’d have to talk to Yeonjun about a tutoring schedule that worked for both of them. He groaned to himself.
Grinning, Taehyun squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t worry, hyung. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking.”
The trio walked as far as they could together, Soobin singing a funeral march to himself. Yes, he’d have to talk to Yeonjun eventually, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to switch with someone. He’d be willing to take a group over Yeonjun, and surely someone would appreciate the lighter load— even if it meant having to deal with the vibrantly haired senior.
Lost in his thoughts, he listened to the juniors’ chatter before perking up.
Switching sides so he and Kai were on the end, Soobin wrapped his arm around Taehyun. He pinched his cheek lightly, then nuzzled the skin. “Hey, Tae.”
Taehyun stared at him blankly, immediately catching on. “No, I’m not switching with you.”
“Why not?” Soobin wilted, pouting. He turned on his puppy eyes, knowing they were in full power when Kai gave a small coo.
“Yeonjun really isn’t so bad,” Taehyun said. Throwing his coffee cup in the nearest trash can, he shoved his hands in the pockets of his trousers.
Soobin gave up the act, brown eyes narrowing. “You’re only saying that because you’re dating his best friend.”
Grinning, Taehyun shrugged. “Really, though. You’ll survive.”
Turning to their separate corridors, the juniors gave Soobin a quick wave over their shoulders, arms linked.
“Good luck, Soobinnie,” Kai shouted.
Several heads turned in their direction, and Soobin hid a blush at the sudden attention, giving a sheepish smile. Hands in his pocket, he forced himself forward, thinking of Choi Yeonjun.
“So let me get this straight,” Beomgyu laughed. “You’re going to tutor Yeonjun? Blue hair, makes me want to strangle him every time he opens his mouth? My Yeonjun?”
Brew N’ Groove, a coffee shop popular amongst the students at Daegu High, was bustling with activity. Several heads turned at Beomgyu’s boisterous chuckle, his face pinched with amusement.
Soobin didn’t get what was so funny about the situation.
He had tried to approach Yeonjun throughout the school day, but found himself chickening out every time he came across the boy. In fact, he had already given up on it until Taehyun had come along, visiting the shop with Hwang Yeji, a friend of theirs.
Soobin had been pleased to see them, but, the second Taehyun asked about Soobin’s progress with Yeonjun, he regretted telling the brunet about it.
Shushing Beomgyu, Soobin nodded, nibbling on his lip. In a fury behind the counter, he set to work on Taehyun and Yeji’s order, hoping to get as many customers satisfied in little time. Rush hour at Brew N’ Groove was always the worst.
“I didn’t even know he needed tutoring.” Beomgyu frowned. Toying with a lock of his silver hair, he rested heavily against the cash register. “Last I heard, his grades were in flying colors.”
Taehyun shrugged. Arms on the counter, he leaned towards his boyfriend, nuzzling his cheek before pulling away. “Grades can fall faster than they rise, Gyu.”
Beomgyu hummed. Sighing, he kissed Taehyun lightly before spinning on his heel. Flattening the wrinkles in his apron, he set to work on Yeji’s drink.
The girl ran her hands through her ombré hair, the elbow-length strands like silk between her fingers. “I’ve spoken to Yeonjun a few times in the past. He’s got quite the character.”
Beomgyu smiled over his shoulder, grabbing a hotteok as he spoke. “That’s a nice way of saying he’s annoying.”
“Aren’t you two meant to be best friends?” Taehyun’s lips flickered upwards.
Beomgyu’s smile only widened. Taking Taehyun’s drink from the silent Soobin, he brought the pair their orders, opening the cash register with a small dance.
When Taehyun offered the money, Beomgyu shook his head. He winked. “Drink’s on me, handsome.”
Taehyun groaned, throwing Soobin an embarrassed grimace. “That’s a horrible pickup line.”
“Please,” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, pulling his wallet from his apron pocket, “you love it.”
Yeji giggled at the lovers’ exchange and took her tea and pastry, thanking the two behind the counter. “I’ll see you around, Soobin.”
He nodded, quickly moving along to the next person in line. Welcoming them with a smile practiced to perfection, his body took over, and he worked without a word.
From the moment he opened the folder, Yeonjun had been front and center on his mind. It only made Soobin more frustrated.
Though they had never been the best of friends (if they hadn’t been co-workers, and Taehyun hadn’t started dating Beomgyu, Soobin doubted he ever would’ve approached the silver-haired junior), Beomgyu seemed to see what was on his mind.
“You know,” he began, “the thing about Yeonjun is that he always exceeds expectations. Not so much unlike you, now that I think of it.”
Soobin grinned wryly. Sealing a cup and passing it to a school acquaintance with a bright farewell, he turned to Beomgyu. “Is that meant to be a compliment?”
Beomgyu laughed. Rush hour was beginning to fade to a more comfortable pace, and they were granted a second of peace. “Just give him a chance, yeah? I promise he’s more tolerable than I make him out to be.”
Hesitating, Soobin nodded. “Okay.”
He hoped he hadn’t come off as too harsh, but something about Yeonjun rubbed him the wrong way. It felt like self-betrayal, like he was on the road to fraternizing with the enemy, even if he couldn’t remember ever having a conversation with said enemy.
The pair glanced towards the door as the bell chimed. Beomgyu hummed. “Speak of the devil.”
There were plenty of objects in the room to catch Soobin’s eye. There were a multitude of tables set around the room, and the plants resting on the window sills added a comforting touch to the coffee shop.
There were also plenty of people in the room that could’ve gotten his attention, and, yet, it was Choi Yeonjun that held him captive.
Electric blue hair rested on his eyebrow, and his chin was lifted, likely a display of confidence. His stride was effortlessly graceful. His collared shirt, which had a few buttons open at the top, was tucked in his navy uniform trousers. He seemed to have ditched their school blazer.
On his arm, a short-haired girl swatted at his shoulder. A picture of intimidation, a black belt hung loosely around her hips, resting against the folds of her uniform skirt. Unlike Yeonjun, she wore her blazer, and her heeled boots clicked as she moved forward. Her hair was colored so it was light brown on the interior layers and darker on the outside.
Had he not been so focused on her position beside Yeonjun, Soobin might’ve complimented her.
Beomgyu seemed to recognize the girl. He hopped over, ignoring his best friend, and gave her his full attention. “What brings you here, Ryu?”
The pretty girl— Ryu?— smirked at Yeonjun’s immediate annoyance. “Don’t ask me. Yeonjun dragged me here.”
“Don’t lie,” Yeonjun exclaimed. Offense graced his brow. Watching the trio with little interest, Soobin noticed the small scar nicking his left eyebrow, and one on the bridge of his nose. “You wanted to come.”
“Aw,” Beomgyu cooed. “Did you two miss me?”
Yeonjun seemed incredibly confused. “Who in their right mind would miss you?”
Soobin didn’t understand them.
Yeonjun finally seemed to realize Soobin was there, offering the dark-haired senior a lopsided grin. “Sorry you have to deal with him. I’m sure it’s very draining.”
Beomgyu swatted at his best friend, who ducked out of reach.
Soobin merely shrugged, forcing himself to remain polite. He gave a reluctant smile. “He’s not so bad.”
“He’s better than Yeonjun,” the girl nodded, “that’s for sure.”
“All I did was breathe.”
“Stop breathing, then.”
“You’re too mean, Ryujin.” Yeonjun shook his head. “You’re clearly just blind to my charms.”
Soobin wanted to question what charms he was talking about, but Beomgyu beat him to the chase, chuckling at Yeonjun’s reaction.
“That reminds me,” Beomgyu hummed. “You never told me you were getting a tutor, Junie.”
Ryujin laughed boisterously, clinging to her stomach as she hunched over. When she straightened herself, her eyes were glazed with tears.
Glaring, Yeonjun shrugged. “It didn’t seem too important. I doubt I’ll even go to the sessions.”
Soobin narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “I’m your tutor.”
Blinking, Yeonjun’s mouth slowly stretched into a smirk. He rested against the counter, leaning closer to the black-haired boy. His chin sat on his hand, and black-painted nails tapped his cheek.
“Ah,” he nodded, “in that case, I’d be more than happy to spend my time with you.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you rather do something more fun than studying, though?”
“I can back out any time.” Soobin glared, unable to restrain himself. “You know that, don’t you?”
Yeonjun sighed, pushing himself upright. “Should we start after your shift, then?”
“Don’t you want to spend time with your girlfriend?”
Ryujin looked horrified. “I’m not his girlfriend.”
Yeonjun pouted, jokingly trying to press a kiss to her cheek. He grinned when she pushed him away. “Ryu’s just a friend. I’m gay.”
“Like, super gay.” Beomgyu nodded. “As in, the gayest of the gays.”
“Oh.” Soobin turned to the clock on the wall, hiding his rosy face. “Um— well, I won’t be off for about ten minutes, but my books are in the back.”
“I’ll wait for you.” Yeonjun winked, and Soobin resisted the urge to quit then and there.
Before the latter could respond, Yeonjun gave the baristas a wave and left, Ryujin at his side.
Soobin turned to Beomgyu, features laced with pure exasperation.
The junior laughed, shaking his head. “I think he likes you.”
Soobin didn’t respond, working on cleaning the counters and washing what was in the sink.
Just talking to Yeonjun felt like a test of his patience— and Yeonjun hadn’t even been that bad. He hoped that his tolerance would grow enough that they could work as intellectuals without Soobin wanting to wipe the smirk from Yeonjun’s face.
The ten minutes behind the counter went by too quickly, and Soobin felt his stomach twist when the clock pointed to the new hour. Grabbing his school bag, he hung his apron and quietly accepted the amused Beomgyu’s luck.
He spotted Yeonjun seated near a window, the sun caressing his face. He was effortlessly pretty, and the golden glow kissing his features only added to his hold on Soobin. It infuriated the younger more than anything.
Soobin sat down without a greeting, setting his AP Trigonometry textbook lightly on the table. He flipped through the pages, his tongue poking his cheek.
He could feel Yeonjun’s eyes on him, and glanced up when the blue-haired boy began to speak. “What’s your favorite color?”
Soobin frowned. “What?”
“Your favorite color,” Yeonjun repeated. He rested his head on his arm, openly staring at Soobin. His gaze was soft. “I like purple— and blue.”
“What’s color got to do with triangles?”
“I’m not interested in Trigonometry.” Yeonjun grinned. “I’m interested in you. So, what’s your favorite color?”
Soobin glared, jaw ticking. “This isn’t a game, Choi. Please don’t waste my time.”
When Yeonjun pouted, Soobin was surprised to find himself caving. It was like Yeonjun had cast a spell on him, and it was suddenly difficult to refuse.
Soobin sighed. “Let’s make a bargain, then. For each question you get right, I’ll answer one of your questions. Deal?”
“Deal.” Yeonjun beamed, and Soobin watched in confusion as he took the book with confidence. Taking a pencil and piece of paper from the younger, Yeonjun’s hand flew across the page.
He nibbled on his lip in thought, and Soobin was so distracted by the small habit that he had to blink to focus when Yeonjun offered him the work.
To Soobin’s horror, all five answers were correct. “How?”
“Nuh-uh.” Yeonjun shook his head, grinning widely. “I get to ask the questions here, bunny boo.”
“Bunny boo?” Soobin scrunched his nose.
“You look like a bunny. A cute bunny.” The elder hummed to himself, tapping his chin in thought, and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. He relaxed against the back of his seat. “Alright. I’d still like you to tell me what your favorite color is— oh, and why.”
Soobin sighed, but didn’t argue. A deal was a deal, even if he did feel cheated. “Blue— sky blue, to be specific— and yellow, I suppose. I don’t really have a reason for the blue, it’s just pretty, and yellow is such a bright color. It’s not necessarily happy, but it makes me hopeful for the future. It’s relaxing, in a way.”
Nodding, something sparkled in Yeonjun’s eyes, and he reached a hand towards Soobin. When he ran his fingertips through the locks resting on Soobin’s brow, the dark-haired boy flinched away in surprise.
Yeonjun ignored it, bringing his hand back to his neck. “Would you ever consider dyeing your hair?”
“No.” Soobin shook his head immediately, tone firm. He had no desire to damage his hair, and he wasn’t sure how it would affect his chances of getting accepted into schools and finding employment. It wasn’t a risk worth taking, and he was fine with his natural black.
Yeonjun smirked, almost like he was accepting it as a challenge, and ran his tongue over his lip. “Favorite animal.”
“You do know you only have five questions, right?” Soobin raised an eyebrow, surprised by the simplicity of what he had been asked so far, and shrugged. “Racoons. They’re cute.”
“What’s your biggest fear?”
Soobin fell silent. He hadn’t actually minded Yeonjun’s trivial track, and admitting his fears unnerved him.
More than anything, Soobin didn’t want to be stuck on pause, never moving forward, unable to escape his side of Daegu. He didn't want to fail.
The thought alone was enough to send a painful pang reverberating in his racing chest. His fingers flexed at the thought.
But he wasn’t going to risk the chance of the competition using it against him, so he lied. “Heights.”
“But you’re tall,” Yeonjun observed, taken back. “How can you be afraid of heights?” When Soobin glared, the blue-haired beauty laughed. “Alright, alright. This is my last question, isn’t it?”
“Use it wisely.” Soobin nodded. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Beomgyu’s shift had ended.
Yeonjun seemed to have noticed too, rising from his seat. He took a step forward, standing by Soobin’s shoulder, and stared down at the younger. “Hang out with me sometime?”
Soobin froze, startled. Admittedly, he didn’t hate Yeonjun as much as he had expected, but the senior was still infuriating. Soobin wasn’t sure how he was going to survive the tutoring sessions— let alone spending time outside of academics with Yeonjun.
He spoke before his brain had fully comprehended what he was doing. “No.”
Yeonjun laughed softly, lips quirking upwards. Soobin’s response seemed to satisfy him to some point. Bending, the elder quickly wrote a series of numbers on Soobin’s notebook, finishing it with a small heart.
“You say that now, bunny, but I’ll change your mind soon enough. That’s my number. Text me. I have a feeling we’ll be great friends.”
Soobin arched an eyebrow, meeting Yeonjun’s eyes with a glint of determination. He chose to ignore the phone number as he took his pencil back. “Sure about that, Choi?”
“Positive.” Yeonjun winked, walking towards his best friend, and threw a wave over his shoulder. “See you around.”
Soobin watched him leave, cheeks slowly tinting pink, and rested his head on the AP Trigonometry book.
Yes, Yeonjun would definitely be the death of him.