Work Text:
Yoongi wakes up in the middle of the night to find Jimin’s side of the bed empty, his engagement ring under the soft glow of their bedside lamp.
He can't understand anything. They were fine－Jimin was fine－ when they went to bed.
They kissed goodnight a few hours ago.
So..how? Or rather… why?
The panic that starts in his chest grows and it tries to swallow him whole like a snowstorm. But he got to think.
Rolling the white gold ring between his fingers, Yoongi tries calling Jimin,. His calls are returned engaged and Yoongi realises Jimin must have blocked his number.
‘We are sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is unavailable at the moment. Please try again later.’
The prodding question in his mind 'why' only increases in volume by the second.
Yoongi redials again.
‘We are sorry, but the number you are trying to reach is unavailable at the moment. Please try again later.’
"Shit," he curses under his breath, voice shaking with fear. Where could Jimin have gone in this hour?
It's past one in the morning and Yoongi knows none of their friends would be up this hour, so Jimin couldn't have gone to them. If he has, he'd be at Taehyung’s but Taehyung and Hoseok are out of town. Even by a slight chance had they returned early, Hoseok would have let Yoongi know. So Jimin couldn’t have possibly gone there.
What Yoongi doesn't understand is why Jimin would suddenly leave.
Yoongi gets up and walks over to their shared closet－ he's seen it from movies, when couples break up, they take their clothes.
With a trembling hand and a prayer on his lips, he opens the door only to really be hit with disappointment and the fear of this-moment-is-real. With his heart hammering in his chest, hoping for his theory to be wrong, Yoongi opens the door.
A loud sigh falls from his lips. Jimin's clothes were removed from their hangers, but all his shoes, even the pair Yoongi gifted on his last birthday, and ties still remain in place.
"What the fuck." Yoongi whispers to himself. So Jimin has really left?
What’s happening baby? What do I do?
He tries to formulate a plan in his head and go and find Jimin. But the sound of the cicadas from outside his window disrupts the much needed quiet he seeks. His mind is fuzzy and thoughts are all over the place.
Muttering curses to himself when he finds out that the suitcase is also missing from the floor of the closet, Yoongi starts dialing his friends. Maybe Jimin called one of them.
Thinking about the cold Seoul night, he grabs the first black coat that his hand could find to go and look for his fiancé. If Jimin really left, Yoongi won't know what to do and he doesn't let his thoughts go that far. He wants to stay positive, for the sake of their relationship and all that they have been through the years, all the good and bad bits of it too!
He dials Jimin's number on his way out of the house, again, and the auto operator gives him the same message. Yoongi can feel the sting of the tears hitting his eyes and they fall unbidden, making his vision cloudy. But he doesn’t wipe them away, he lets them fall, feeling the warm liquid’s trail going cold against the night air.
Yoongi doesn't even dare to close the door on his way out when he's out the front gate, he basically runs onto the street, calling out the nickname he's given to Jimin－ sunshine. If anyone found him screaming sunshine at this hour, they'd think that Yoongi is insane. But lucky for him, he guesses, that everyone must be asleep at this hour and no one would be witnessing a man frantically looking for someone on the streets.
Yoongi has wanted to get married to Jimin for the longest time, and he waited for that one night to propose to him because he cannot lose Jimin. They have shared too many memories, too many nights in their bed whispering I love yous, and making love, promises in-between kisses. They have shared tears and laughs together, celebrated wins and losses in life like real grown adults .
Without a particular direction on his mind, he saunters into the darkness of the night save for the dull light emitting from a way too high poll light somewhere in the long road ahead. His mind tells that he should follow that light. In a slow trudge, Yoongi moves forward, his mind and heart restless.
Jimin's name falls from his lips like a chant and it only gets louder. When Yoongi reaches the intersection, and though he's tired, thirsty and his throat is a little sore, he changes his pace to a run again because this road will lead him to a highway and
Perhaps he can find Jimin there, Jimin may have taken the midnight bus and went to his parent's place or one of his friend's that Yoongi is unaware about.
Yoongi stops for a while to give some rest to his lungs when they start giving out, begging for some slow-down and he feels like his nose is going to bleed soon. He should have worn a face mask before leaving. It’s freezing out there.
Panting, he rested his hands on his knees and looked straight ahead, eyes forming a squint. He sees someone's silhouette. He blinks his eyes twice to check. It really is someone, walking towards the highways, pulling a suitcase behind.
"JIMIIIIN,' he shouts, praying that it is Jimin, the adrenaline in his veins giving him more strength.
”Fuck a nose bleed, fuck my fucking lun- lungs" he starts running, calling for the shadow to stop but the person doesn't turn around. Can it be Jimin? His Jimin?
Can it?
Whatever fate had for him, Yoongi straightened himself to run again and he runs as hard and as fast as he could.
"Puh-please let it be Ji- min," his voice comes in scattered syllables and huffs of air.
His legs become heavy and he pulls all his strength to not breathe in from his nose - if he does so, he fears that it may split open from the cold.
It takes a while for him to level with the person, who is in his baby-blue pyjamas, sobbing.
"JIMIN- BABY?"
Yoongi stops in front of him blocking his way. He bends forward, because his lungs might really explode, and his heart needs to relax, too. But he speaks, his gaze on Jimin’s shoes from this angle.
"What the fuck, Jimin? Did you walk all the way from home, our home, in this fucking cold, just so you can leave from my life like this?" Yoongi’s voice is about to break into a cry but he needs to know. He gets up and faces Jimin.
Jimin looks at Yoongi, his eyes red and heavy with tears, "I'm sorry, Yoongi."
Yoongi is confused, whatever has happened.
"Jimin… baby, if you want to talk about anything, I’ll listen. Have I not been taking care of you?" Yoongi's voice cracks.
"H-have I not been loving you? Tell me what I did so wrong that you pack your bags and leave our home in the dead of the night. It's fucking freezing out here, Jimin. How can you just decide to do this." Yoongi cries, patting his hands on the sides of Jimin's arms, hoping he could provide some kind of warmth.
"Baby, say something please, I might go crazy," Yoongi finds it more difficult to speak, his throat heavy and hurt.
"IT'S THE FACT THAT YOU LOVE ME, IS WHY I LEFT," Jimin exclaims, shaking Yoongi's hands from his, and takes steps back. Jimin’s whole body shakes.
"What are you saying, Jimin?" Yoongi walks forward, trying to hold the other.
"BECAUSE I CAN'T EVER LOVE YOU LIKE THE WAY YOU LOVE ME. OR EVEN CLOSE TO THAT. IT'S NOT FAI-"
"SHUT UP JIMI-" Yoongi tries to interrupt. He cannot believe the words that he is hearing right now.
"NO, LE-LET ME TALK, FIRST," Jimin's voice is loud and Yoongi feels the pain in those words etching like broken glass into his heart.
Yoongi moves back, thinking it's better if he lets Jimin talk so he can vent out all his feelings or -possible- doubts he may have about this relationship.
"I am listening," Yoongi says, “speak. Tell me why you thought it was a good idea to just fucking pack your stuff and leave from my life. I am hurt.”
"IT'S BEEN A YEAR, SINCE YOU PROPOSED TO ME. I WANNA MARRY YOU TOO, BUT I HAVE A SHITTY JOB, I CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO OUR FUCKING LIFE, IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU. HOW CAN WE GET MARRIED LIKE THIS." Jimin's words are loud yet they are filled with sorrow. His tone and volume are raw with emotions.
Yoongi tries to hold himself. He wants to yell and scream because what the fuck is Jimin talking about.
"YOU CONTRIBUTE STAYING WITH ME, KISSING ME AND GIVING ME A HUG EVERYDAY WHEN I COME FROM WORK. YOU CONTRIBUTE TO OUR LIFE BY YOUR SMILES, BECAUSE IT MAKES EVEN MY SHITTIEST DAYS BETTER," Yoongi screams in frustration and Jimin’s body shudders.
Yoongi didn’t mean to scream like that because he knows getting frustrated right now is not going to help him. He calms his thoughts when he sees Jimin in a shocked state, eyes ready to spill a dam of tears.
Yoongi should not have screamed.
"Baby," Yoongi moves closer, "I am sorry I screamed, but listen, I know we aren't that rich, and I’m not asking or will never ask you for a fuckton of money just so that we can be happy. It's because of your shitty job and short hours that we get to spend time together, think about it" Yoongi tries to reason. Yoongi steps closer to Jimin.
“I’m sorry, Hyung. I am so, so sorry.” Jimin’s words brush against Yoongi’s skin.
Yoongi kisses Jimin's forehead, his skin cold against Yoongi's lips. They touch their foreheads; Jimin's hands shake, reaching to hold Yoongi's face, as Yoongi's hands hold Jimin's.
"I love you so fucking much you have no idea," Yoongi whispers. Their noses brush against another. "And without you in my life, I will have no purpose. You are my whole universe." Yoongi says.
"But- aren't you tired of me?" Jimin's voice came muffled, Yoongi pulls away to look at him, because Jimin, his Jimin, did not just ask that question to him.
"I’ll never get tired of you, baby," Yoongi holds Jimin's hands in his, "and we are gonna get married, have a bigger place, with a larger front porch so we can place a swing there, and I will read books to you every evening while you lie your head on my lap." Yoongi smiles, hoping Jimin trusts his words.
"Do you promise?" a shaky voice asks, and Yoongi can still sense the uneasiness in it.
"I promise. But none of those will happen if you leave, my love. We need to stay together for that to happen. Okay?" Yoongi pressed lightly at Jimin’s hand.
Jimin looks at him with sad eyes. Eyes that say I don’t want us to part, but I am afraid of what the future may hold for us.
"And if you ever, ever ," Yoongi repeats to emphasize, "feel insecure about our relationship, or how much you love me… talk to me. Don’t compare your feelings with mine, because we love and we show that to each other in a million different ways even if we don't know it.”
Yoongi hears a sniffle leaving Jimin’s body but he continues to lay out his feelings for his lover.
“Like how I feel happy when I see you sleeping so peacefully by my side, that's love for me. Or- or the times you come into my arms when it thunders, because you are scared of the noise, and my instincts tell me to comfort you, that's love for me."
"I love you, a lot too, Yoongi", Jimin exhales a sigh.
"That’s what I am saying, my love. I know you love me, and life is perfect as long as we are together. It's you and me against the world, remember?" Yoongi presses Jimin's hand in his.
"I want to kiss your cheeks when you come home, because that's love for me. And when I do, you always smile and pull me into a hug, that's love for me," Jimin inches closer, almost sealing the gap between their trembling lips from the cold, " you are love for me, hyung." he whispers.
Their lips meet. It is not like their usual hot and heavy kiss. Yoongi’s lips are gentle against Jimin, holding Jimin’s small, perfect face with his palms.
Yoongi kisses Jimin like he hasn’t seen the other in a million years. Jimin kisses Yoongi like he was a dream filled with flowers and butterflies, a memory that he wants to cherish for eternity. They kiss each other like there is nothing in this world that is more important to them than this moment right now.
"And you are mine. You are my love too." Yoongi says in between the slides of their mouths.
“Baby,” Yoongi breaks away from the kiss and reaches for his coat pocket and pulls out the ring that Jimin left on the table, "give me your hand.” Yoongi says.
"W-hat?" Jimin asks in confusion, as if he doesn't remember about their ring. Yoongi shows the ring and makes a face.
"Oh… my ring." he says apologetically and hugs in body, his knuckles turning white from holding his sides tight.
"But first wear this coat,” Yoongi sighs, and takes his coat off and puts it over Jimin. “Jesus Christ Jimin, it's freezing out here."
"I’m aware" Jimin pouts, and then smiles.
"Oh, were you?" Yoongi retorts but still gestures to Jimin’s arm.
“I think this belongs to you,”Yoongi puts the ring back on Jimin's finger, where it belongs. " Never take this off again and worry me like that. I nearly died."
"You came for me and found me" Jimin kisses his ring, and stares at it for a second.
"Of course I would," Yoongi leans to kiss Jimin again, "I will always find you. Let's go back now. I will make us tea and we can talk about this longer when we go back.” Yoongi is still feeling anxious.
He loves Jimin too much for him to just not worry about things like this. Yoongi didn’t sign up for this relationship to run away from problems, but this was the first time something like this happened.
Yoongi is going to make sure to let Jimin know how much Jimin means to him, and how Jimin is his entire world, the reason that he is alive today.
They walk, hand in hand, to their home.