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You had never seen your partner.
It was just protocol. The nature of the missions you two worked, it was safer if you couldn't identify each other.
You had been near her, of course, and heard her voice whispering to you in the train station or over the phone. But you had never once laid eyes on her.
You were an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, and one of Natasha Romanov's most important and most trusted contacts.
Over the years of working together, you two had become the closest of friends. Fury had no idea that you two were that close, but what Fury didn't know couldn’t hurt him. If it was any pair of spies operating at your level, a close personal relationship would be a problem, but you two were the best in your field, and more than capable of handling it.
It had taken a while for the two of you to talk, really talk, the extent of your interactions being whispered conversations back to back on a set of park benches, or a flash drive set subtly on a table next to an untouched coffee, but one day, probably the best day of your life, you had asked the question and she had answered.
Every phone call with her, you would ask the same question before hanging up.
"How are you doing, Nat?"
And every time, without fail, you would receive the same, gruff, "Fine."
She clearly wasn't one to talk about the touchy-feely stuff. Which was fine by you, you didn't open up often either, most spies you met didn't, but you still gave her that chance, every time.
Until one day, much to your surprise, she responded, "Not great."
It wasn't much, but it was something different. It was an invitation to keep talking. Containing your excitement at the change in conversation, you kept your voice steady. "What's the matter?"
She sighed, the sound crackling faintly over her phone's mic. "I'm back in a place I haven't been in for a long time."
You had no way of knowing exactly where she was- S.H.I.E.L.D took plenty of precautions to be sure of that- but you could make an educated guess. The information you had passed along to her a few days ago had been about a weapons smuggler currently in Russia.
"You know what?" she said, "I don't really want to talk about it. I'll check in with you when the mission's over."
"Natasha, wait!"
Silence from the other line, but she was still on the call.
"Let's just talk. About something else. I think we could both use some casual conversation."
She let out a small chuckle. "Sure, why not? This is a burner phone and I've got time to kill."
It was a bit awkward at first, but you soon fell into a natural conversation. That night you talked about many things. Small things, like favorite foods, and big things, like plans for the future if you ever left S.H.I.E.L.D.
That's when you learned that she couldn't see color.
You weren’t surprised. You couldn’t see color either. It wasn't uncommon for S.H.I.E.L.D to hire people who hadn't met their soulmate. It was a lonely job, and soulmates were a liability.
It was a small moment in your conversation and you continued talking about all sorts of other things late into the night.
Unfortunately, though, all good things must come to an end.
"I'll have to talk to you later, Nat. I've got a big job tomorrow I need to get ready for."
"Goodnight Y/N, and thank you."
"Let's make a habit out of this, okay?"
"Gotcha, Agent."
You smiled and hung up the phone.
From then on, you always lingered on calls. Never quite as long as that first call, but the two of you were quickly becoming each other's closest confidantes.
Soon you began talking in real life, too. You never turned to face each other, never broke that boundary, but you relished the feeling of her shoulder brushing yours as you watched the pigeons in a park.
You called each other before and after every job to check in on each other. You had drop spots outside of Fury's radar where you left each other small gifts. Your life was lonely and cold, but she gave your days warmth and light.
-----
Around a year and a half after your initial conversation, you met in a smokey French cafe, sitting in nearby booths.
“Nat.”
“Agent.”
“Whaddya got for me?”
“No intel on the current mission, but I’ve got news from HQ. Fury’s pulling us from the field.”
You felt your blood run cold. Spywork was dangerous, but it was what you knew. You were good at it. If you were fired, you would be thrown into suburbia with a fake name and fake past- maybe even fake memories, if Fury deemed you untrustworthy- and you would live the rest of your days out in the rat race.
And worst of all, you would live out the rest of your days without Natasha.
“What did we do?” you asked her, putting a massive amount of concentration into keeping your voice from betraying your panic.
“We did good,” she said, a smile in her voice. “We’ve been selected for an elite team to protect the entire world. You and I, Barton, and if we can convince them, Tony Stark, Steve Rodgers, and Bruce Banner.”
“That gamma radiation guy? Do we even know where he disappeared to?”
“We never lost tabs on him.”
You let out a sigh of relief. “You scared me, Nat. I thought Fury had benched us.”
She laughed. “No, we’re still in the game for now. And when Fury gives the word, we’ll head back to New York and hang out like normal people for a change.”
“That would be nice,” you said, your voice quiet.
You heard her move around a bit, then swear. “I have to run," she said. "If I don’t make this drop Fury'll kill me.”
“I’ll talk to you later Nat,” you said. “Hopefully face to face.”
You waited for a response, but heard only silence. You turned and her booth was empty, like she had never been there.
------
"Hey there, Agent," came her warm voice over the receiver. You couldn't help but smile, remembering how cold her voice had been when you had first been partnered together.
"Hey there, Black Widow," you said, using the alias that some younger agents had been whispering behind her back.
“Very funny,” she laughed, “but I’m no Tony Stark. I don’t need a fancy code name.”
“You never know,” you said, your voice still light and teasing. “We should probably both come up with some cool code names for that team Fury was talking about. I think Black Widow suits you.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult?”
“No, it means you’re badass. How did your drop go?”
“Good,” she said. “Pretty standard, didn’t run into any problems. How are things on your end?”
“Not bad. I’ve got one thing to finish up this evening, and then I should be good to go. I’ll meet you at the airport at around 5:45 tonight?”
“I’ll be waiting for you, Agent.”
“I’ll be there, Black Widow.”
-----
You snuck around the corner of the warehouse. It was supposed to be one guy. Take him out, take down the whole operation, but apparently, the whole operation was being run out of here. You glanced at your watch. 5:42. Shit. You were gonna miss your flight. A guard passed by, and you froze in place.
You thought he hadn't seen you, but suddenly the sound of his footsteps stopped, then became louder as he ran back towards you, brandishing a weapon. Ducking under him, you grabbed the gun and twisted it away from you, and knocked him over the head with your own pistol.
Suddenly, a loud sound blared over the intercom. Shit. He had sounded the alarm.
You grabbed his gun and made a break for it.
-----
Natasha glanced anxiously at her watch. 5:50.
She glanced around nervously. You hadn’t answered a single one of her calls. She picked up her phone and dialed Nick Fury’s number.
“Fury? Yeah, I know I’m supposed to be getting on a plane, but Y/N isn’t here. Yes, I tried calling. No, Y/N told me 5:45. A good agent is not late, and Y/N is the best agent I know. Where was the mission at? I’m going in. Fury! Tell me now or so help me God... Thank you, that wasn’t too hard, was it?”
She snapped her phone shut. You weren’t too far from where she was.
------
Natasha pulled up to a worn down warehouse with boarded on one side with a forest. Truck after truck pulled away from the building, and she grimaced as she realized what had happened. This was not a simple job like you had thought. Whatever operation you had infiltrated was now fleeing after being busted, and they were likely on shoot to kill orders.
Suddenly she saw you figure limping towards the woods, and before she even knew she had moved, she was racing towards you.
-----
Pain tore through you.
Your abdomen was on fire. You had been shot before, but this hurt. You struggled to get to the cover of the woods. Suddenly a firm hand was on you back, arms were cradling you, and lowering you down to the ground.
“Shh, don’t move,” came Natasha’s voice. “They aren’t worried about finding us, they’re too busy running.”
You looked into her face, making eye contact with your long-time partner for the first time ever, and the world exploded in color.
The grass and trees became vibrant with life, and you turned to look at the new world around you. When you turned back to look at Natasha, her eyes were filled with wonder.
“You hair…” you said weakly, your voice trailing off.
“They tell me it’s red,” she said, her voice wavering.
“Red,” you said, relishing the word on your lips, the feeling of knowing what it meant. “Red is my favorite.”
She smiled, but tears trailed down her face. “Shh, don’t talk. Save your energy, we’ll get you somewhere where they can fix you.”
Ignoring her, you shook your head. "I'm not gonna make it."
You reached up your hand to touch her face. She grabbed your hand and pressed it against her cheek. “I’m glad it was you Nat. I love you.”
“I love you too, Y/N”
She pressed a gentle kiss against your lips and cradled you against her chest.
“Look at the sky, Nat,” you said. “It’s beautiful.”
The sun was setting, and the myriad of brilliant colors spread over the horizon.
"As far as ways to go out," you said, "it could have been worse."
Nat said nothing, only held you tighter
The two of you sat like that until Natasha saw the sunset fade to black and white and the tears blurred her vision.