Work Text:
Wooyoung didn’t really know… When it all started, the falling for Seonghwa thing.
He had known Seonghwa before even knowing he liked men, heck, even before he was interested in people in general. As long as he remembered he saw Seonghwa as his caring neighbor who was in the same friend group as him first. They weren’t really close, they were just friends, not best friends, not close friends, just.. friends. But that was kind of the same thing with everyone, they had all grown up in the same town and all stood out somehow from other kids, it all really started… by default(?).
Hanging out with the same people from age 7 to 22 kinda hits hard on the getting close part. Today Wooyoung wouldn’t think they could get splitted up for anything. Really, all 8 of them had gone through too much together to pretend they weren’t all close. But then again, not THIS close.
He really had no idea… Where it all came from, the whole falling for one of his best friends thing.
Maybe Christmas 3 years ago? When he had to bring Seonghwa home cause they were still neighbors after all these years and that the sky was strangely really clear for a winter night? When Seonghwa on the walk back started to rant about how he liked stars, looking up to them, and how he wished he could be as bright as them? Wooyoung didn’t think Seonghwa was realizing how bright he was shining while talking so passionately about astronomy. That night, when Seonghwa turned his head down towards Wooyoung and he saw his sparkling dark eyes as if the sky was half the show he could see in the oldest’s globes, his heart definitely skipped a beat. Was it already because he liked him?
Or maybe even earlier than this when Wooyoung had entered uni 4 years ago? Dance had always been what he wanted to study and Seonghwa had gone all out to support Wooyoung in front of his parents who were at that time against the idea. Seonghwa with his perfect “older friend who is first of his economy promotion, never dyed his hair, always brings our son safe home” image. Wooyoung didn’t think he would be doing his master degree in Dance Pedagogy now if Seonghwa hadn’t been here for him at this time. After this summer, something had definitely shifted in their relationship, they were way closer and that’s honestly the time they started to call each other best friends in front of others. But was he really seeing his hyung as his best friend even at this time? Now that he was thinking about it, he was doubting, did it really shift from close friends to best friends or from close friends to one sided crush?
More recently it was obvious he had a crush on Seonghwa, he had caught himself staring countless times by now. When Seonghwa was laughing at one of San’s bad jokes, when Seonghwa was in an intense debate with Hongjoong about whatever was the subject one of them had brought up, when Seonghwa was helping Mingi with his writing blocks and he had that little concentration frown, that was so cute, when Seonghwa was waking up in the morning before he had his morning coffee… ah, yes, living with him didn’t help at any point in the “maybe I should not fall for him” phase Wooyoung had had one year ago.
After reflection, things did get clear around this time. About one year ago, around Seonghwa’s birthday actually. They had agreed on taking a coffee together after crossing each other’s ways in the street and Seonghwa started to explain how he was planning to ask him something anyway. That's how he then proceeded to ask if Wooyoung wanted to live with him. Both were planning to move to Seoul, Seonghwa for the work he had just been hired in and Wooyoung for his master degree which was based in the Korean capital. It was accommodating for the price and also the space they would gain from living together so Wooyoung had said yes without really hesitating.
Maybe he should have thought about it a second time cause starting from week one Wooyoung had become a blushing mess. I mean… Seonghwa with wet hair after the shower? Seonghwa in the morning? Seonghwa comforting him on hard days? Cuddles when one of them was feeling down? Seonghwa in the dark with only the TV screen lightening his face on movie nights? Deep conversation about life with Seonghwa? Seonghwa cooking? Seonghwa in his work suit? Apart from his studies and dance, Seonghwa became probably the main thing Wooyoung was thinking about starting from there.
Okay so, bringing all the pieces together, Wooyoung kinda knew where it all came from, the falling for his roommate thing.
At first it was small things accumulating, memories that were more vivid than others, heart beating faster, shivers and blushing here and there. It grew step by step, slowly and the crush was born. Then since one year it became… probably the biggest crush Wooyoung had ever had and well… It was starting to get painful… Beautiful because liking someone is a great feeling but painful at the intensity it was starting to get… Love? Could he call it love now?
Wooyoung snapped suddenly back to reality when Seonghwa clicked his fingers in front of his eyes.
Where am I? What am I doing? Ah, yes, late night work for master degree with Seonghwa working on his work project on the other side of the small coffee table in their living room. Late night work which probably turned into staring at Seonghwa way too long and zoning out in his thoughts… Did Seonghwa notice? At this point he didn’t really care anymore, he will have to admit it to the other at one point but he kind of hoped to be able to make it a special moment… Even for a rejection.
“Finally you woke up, oh my god I thought I would need to drop cold water on your head for you to come back to this world seriously.” Seonghwa said with a smirk on his face. “‘Tonight, we’re working’ that’s what he says and then he stares at you for a whole damn thirty minutes without any shame. My new color looks that great on me for you to fix me like that? I thought you were going to eat me.”
“I probably would have eaten you.” That’s what Wooyoung had muttered without realizing, thoughts slipping out of his mouth not completely out of his trip in the ‘crush memories train’.
“Come again, I’m not sure I caught that right. And if I did I don’t think I was supposed to hear it.” Seonghwa was clearly restraining from laughing right now. Wooyoung was in the end of the year rush and had barely slept those last few days so he had had the chance to see his roommate in an active but tired state that blurred his perception of boundaries. Forgetting basic things as keeping thoughts in his mind.
That’s how he had heard clips of what Wooyoung had been thinking about the last half hour and it was beyond any really great TV show. Hilarious, really. Of course he wasn’t joking about the whole liking him part but the situation, the situation was just completely absurd.
Wooyoung was almost drifting off again when Seonghwa asked rhetorically “You have a crush on me don’t you?” and he raised his gaze towards his hyung almost immediately.
Welp, he was doomed. He really didn’t want it to go this way. He knew his tired self was always acting weird and had no filter, he really should have gone to his parents’ house for his planned work week. Now what could he do?
“And a pretty huge one” that’s what slipped out of his mouth. Really, he had lost any filters with his lack of sleep… Now he was brutally honest? Well, better ride on the wave.
Seonghwa on his side didn’t really think Wooyoung was this far in the fatigue. Talking while thinking was a thing, saying everything that came through his head was another. “Okay, time to go to bed sleepyhead, we’re really not having this conversation when you’re like this.”
Wooyoung somehow stood out without collapsing on the floor from exhaustion but Seonghwa had to quickly support him to walk to his room unless he would have ended up hurting himself from bumping against every single of their furniture on the way.
Once in Wooyoung’s room, Seonghwa helped the younger boy to get off his pants and enter the sheets. Suddenly, when Seonghwa was about to get up to leave the other to dream land, Wooyoung gripped his wrist and looked at him with worried eyes. “It’s not going to be weird tomorrow? I mean, between us? I don’t want it to make things weird, please don’t avoid me.”
“No it’s not going to be weird. Plus, I think if it was going to be it would have already started but look at us, we’re talking normally to each other right now!” Seonhwa smiled slightly and brushed a piece of hair away from Wooyoung’s eyes, “but, we’ll definitely have to talk cause we can’t really get away with it like that… I should say, you won’t get away with it like that. But for now it’s too late, you’re too tired and I want you to be completely aware of what you say and what is happening when we talk about it.” Wooyoung hummed in agreement, cooing internally at how Seonghwa can be caring and thoughtful and how it is just adorable. Then he probably fell asleep cause in the morning he didn’t remember anything after this.
Slowly sitting down on his bed, judging from the light peaking through the curtains, it wasn’t that late in the morning. Wooyoung took the time to yawn and realize fully what had happened last night then proceeded to open the window.
He walked out of his room and headed to the kitchen to make himself a well earned cup of coffee, which apparently was already made judging from the two fuming mugs on the kitchen counter. Was Seonghwa making them breakfast? Wasn’t he supposed to work at this hour? Just when Wooyoung was questioning himself, Seonghwa came out of the kitchen to put a plate containing scrambled eggs, sausages, rice and other side dishes. "Oh! You’re up! Please bring the coffee mugs on the table and we’ll take breakfast together, I was planning on waking you soon anyway considering your revision plans. Don’t worry, you’re not late, you’re supposed to start working in one hour.”
Wooyoung quickly took a look at the clock when taking the mugs and realized it was only 8am and that’s probably why Seonghwa was still here, starting to work around 9 like Wooyoung. “We ended up going to bed pretty early yesterday and judging from your recent sleep schedule your body probably got used to waking up even when you’re tired. Please sit down.” Was Seonghwa avoiding the talk or just taking his time to bring the topic to the table? That was kind of arranging Wooyoung who was trying to act normal but hadn’t let out a word since he woke up which was heavily out of the ordinary.
However, when Wooyoung was putting some scrambled eggs on his plate Seonghwa started to talk. “I’m not avoiding the topic, I'm searching for a way to bring the subject back without making it awkward.” Wooyoung looked at him with wide eyes, a silent question in them “No I don’t read in your mind and you didn’t talk your thoughts as yesterday, it’s just obvious it was what you were thinking about… Are you fine with talking about it right now or do you prefer waiting?”
“Stop being so caring oh my god, I’m gonna end up smothering you in a hug for real” Quickly answered Wooyoung grumpily. He was playing with the food on his plate with his chopstick, not looking up to Seonghwa. “But yes, I’m fine with talking about it now, it’s not like we’ll have another occasion anytime soon considering I have my exams next week.”
“Right.” One blushing,
“Right.” One diving in his thoughts.
Well, that was awkward.
“Were you planning on confessing at some point?” that was said half teasingly, half out of genuine curiosity.
“I guess it would have slipped out my mouth at some point but I didn’t expect to tell you that way haha.” Wooyoung was still staring at his food, not wanting to look up.
“Do you want to properly say it or just keep it the way it happened? I guess I’d prefer you to actually come back on your words because even though I think I got the core meaning of all your thoughts yesterday, I didn’t quite understand what was really going on up in your head.” Seonghwa was still adorable, he was still trying to understand him, still trying to make him comfortable and it was making him even softer for him than before.
“Well ummmh… There is not much to say… I-” He stopped for a bit, words are more difficult to say when you’re completely aware of what you’re saying “I like you. I like you since… Well, that’s kind of what I was thinking about yesterday. I was trying to find what was the first moment I felt something more than friendship towards you but that was difficult haha… I just have an approximative chronology of my feelings… Which probably won’t interest you I guess but-”
“I am in fact, really interested. I’ve heard glimpses of the things you were thinking and… One or two moments made me curious, is it fine if I ask about-”
“Gosh, I said stop being so caring I might melt in front of you, I’m half awake, I’m not prepared to control my reactions. Ask your damn questions I’ll answer hyung, I’m already too deep in the crap to step back.”
“The crap? Anyway. You regret moving in with me? you said something about second guessing this choice and it confused me a bit” Seonghwa showed real worries on his face but Wooyoung still couldn’t see it considering his plate was still more interesting than his crush’s face.
“I don’t regret, I was just thinking about how the moment we started to live together made it clear that I had a crush on you and not a light crush that you can just get over. Seeing your crush frequently is a thing, living with him, having a routine with him, seeing him in his daily life is just completely different. It’s like having what I really want but just half of it. I’m living with you but not the way I want to live with you but I still get to see all the things that amaze me about you everyday. It’s just weird. Obviously not bad, sometimes painful when I think too much about it but… Yeah. If it could have just made my crush fade out by breaking a reality about you I wasn’t expecting, it actually did all the opposite.”
“Okay, so you like seeing me in my daily, I note. I guess that’s also why some words came about something being painful? Restraining affection and all? Am I right?” Wooyoung hummed in agreement, still not looking at Seonhwa. “Wooyoung, can I ask you to look at me? I’m not judging, I’m really not, I’m taking the information well so please don’t be ashamed.”
Wooyoung looked up to the angelic face of the man in front of him… gosh even in the morning he was gorgeous, just breathtaking.
“I’m just gonna ask you something really serious right now” with his words, Seonghwa’s face became more serious than it was before. “Do you expect anything from me Woo? You don’t even seem scared of my reaction, just ashamed? You don’t want me to actually answer your confession or something?”
“I mean” Started the younger boy “I’ve pretty much come to conclusion with the fact that it is one-sided. I’m not scared of your reaction cause… You’re Seonghwa the angel and you would never react badly.” Wooyoung grinned softly at what he said “I just have to get over it and-”
“Do you want to go on a date with me?”
“What?” Wooyoung’s eyes were wide, his chopsticks slipped off his hands and he mentally got a breakdown when Seonghwa shamelessly smirked at his reaction. Why, oh why, was Seonghwa the most caring person of all but somehow, also a real tease? “Stop saying things you don’t mean.”
“Oh but I don’t joke about this. Do you want to go on a date with me?”
“I- I mean, yes, sure, but, if you don’t like me- how-”
“First, if you were to confess to someone you don’t know, you would have asked them on a date even not knowing if they liked you back no? And this person would have said yes if they felt like they could try to get to know you and see if you were getting along right? What is keeping you from asking me on a date? The fact that we’re friends?” wait, he made a point. “Then, who -and I need a response on this one- who told you that I didn’t like you back?” Seonghwa seemed pretty damn serious about this.
“I-” Wooyoung was intimidated right now, this serious side of Seonghwa was… attractive and… impressive and… gosh, anything could make him fall even more right? “I just stare at you all the time, like really often and a lot of time I’ve been blushing or reacting at some, pretty much all, of the things you do but I’ve never seen you having the same reactions with me? So like I’ve never had the signs that maybe, maybe you could like me too?”
Seonghwa was dumbfounded. To be honest, he was shocked yesterday because of all things, he thought he was the one who had a one sided crush. He was acting all confident but yesterday if Woooyoung wasn’t completely away from earth he would have noticed his blush increasing while hearing him talk.
To be fair, he wasn’t the extremely expressive kind of person that Wooyoung was so he wasn’t surprised Wooyoung didn’t catch him staring or reacting to his every movement… But gosh, he WAS staring and definitely reacting. Everytime he would go see him dance at the studio, or see him on stage for one of the shows he had done… That's probably how he had realized his crush. Just, Wooyoung's entire being was… for lack of better and stronger words, gorgeous. From personality to looks, from high pitched laugh to sleepy face Seonghwa was just… smittened. He was completely, completely whipped and since, a really, really long time now.
Was it during his uni last year, the first time he realized? When they were celebrating that Wooyoung made it to the national contemporary dance crew to represent Korea in the US? That big smile of his had been so beautiful Seonghwa had got the urge to kiss him and had a really hard time restraining from it. After thinking, now that he knew that Wooyoung was probably already crushing on him at this time he wouldn’t have risked anything by doing so.
But he also remembered times in highschool when he was in his last year and Wooyoung in his first where he had heard his heart pounding in his ears really loud. Wooyoung was working part time in a small café at this time and Seonghwa used his final exam as an excuse to pass as much time as possible in the café when Wooyoung was working. Seeing him in his brown apron with his name tag, his hair at that time mid long, being so at ease, small talking with the clients really.
Seeing the younger boy in his element was probably what Seonghwa prefered about staring at the other. This thought exactly, it was this thought that made him come back to reality because right now, in front of him, his dongsaeng was not at ease in any point. “I make you uncomfortable.” He stated.
“What- I- no, just... you were staring.” Wooyoung was a blushing mess and it was SO cute oh my god. Seeing him so… calm, was unusual but also just… adorable, though everything about him was adorable to Seonghwa but right now he couldn’t help but smile cause the other was… crushing on him HOLLY MOLLY that was real. What was he going to do now… ahhhh.
Now that he was realizing, Seonghwa had been really oblivious about this. If he was not the expressive type, Wooyoung was and he could have gotten the hints really fast if he hadn’t convinced himself the other wasn’t into him. Wooyoung blushing at any compliment he would give when he was usually really liking and comfortable with people complimenting him, Wooyoung cuddling with him at any point in the day, Wooyoung staring at him during movie nights and stuttering when he asked what he thought about the movie because he probably didn’t catch a thing of what the movie was talking about.
That Christmas night when he looked down from the stars to Wooyoung's eyes and caught him looking at him with so much admiration. How could he not have seen this?
While Seonghwa had a hard time leaving his thought process, Wooyoung was slowly regaining confidence again. His hyung was looking at him in a way that couldn’t be mistaken. “You have a crush on me don’t you?” He smirked while imitating the other’s sayings.
Seonghwa looked up and chuckled when he realized what the dancer just said. “and a pretty huge one.” He answered grinning wildly playing the game.
“So… When’s the date?”