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Ed knocked on the doorway to Oswald’s study before coming in, Oswald knew he was coming for a visit but it didn’t hurt to be polite.
“Come in.” He heard Oswald say.
As Ed neared the desk he spotted a half empty box of eclairs and donuts, of both the standard and jelly filled variety. “What’s the occasion?” Ed asked, flicking the cardboard lid so it would bounce. “Trying to spite my doctor.” Oswald answered, his mouth half full of one of the pastries.
“Oh?”
Oswald nodded as he reached for one of the donuts “I thought that black shit that comes out of my mouth would stop after I moved out of the sewer, but it’s been a year and it hasn’t so Selina said I should see a doctor about it,” he stuffed the donut into his mouth before continuing “and he said that it would probably clear up with exercise.” The passive aggressive fury was apparent in Oswald’s voice even with his mouth full “The cure for everything, apparently. The son of a bitch won’t even see me properly until I try losing weight.”
“What exactly did he suggest you do?”
“Get more exercise…stop eating so much in single sittings..” Oswald swallowed what was in his mouth and looked at the box of pastries thoughtfully “Do you think I could fit two of these in my mouth at once?”
“I wouldn’t dare venture a guess.” Ed cleared his throat “Well, if you did want to try the whole exercising thing…I do teach jazzercise on the side in case you’re interested..”
“What?”
“You know, jazzercise, I host a thing-“
“No, I get all that! Why are you telling me? I would never do something like that.”
Ed frowned “I figured I’d give you the opportunity but nevermind.” He huffed as he got up “Bye, Ozzie..” he sounded disappointed as he left.
Never in a million years did Oswald think Ed’s pouting was powerful enough to get him to agree to something like this. Certainly not wrapped in skin tight lycra. Yet here he was. He averted his gaze self consciously from the other slimmer attendees and twiddled his flippers in front of his stomach. He was just thinking about leaving when Ed bounced to the front of the class.
“Right everyone.” Ed grinned right at Oz. “Let’s go!”
Oswald wouldn’t have stood a chance of keeping up even if he had been focused on it. As it was he kept being distracted by Eddie’s long limbs. He’d always liked Ed and admired his physique but usually he had better control of his ogling.
It was both too soon and far too long before the class ended.
“Great job everyone!”
Oswald was very aware he had not done well at all. He felt his shortcomings very keenly having seen all the other lithe students. He was sure Ed too must have been horrified. As Edward approached him he therefore prepared to make his excuses and flee.
“I’m so glad you came Ozzie!”
Oswald stared at his bright smile and flushed cheeks and forgot everything else. “I’m glad I came too. Same time next week?”
Oswald was fuming as he sunk down into the bath, trying to nurse sore muscles. The heat of the water felt nice but was agitating his body enough to make the black green bile start running from his mouth a bit more than it usually did. He huffed, usually he was quick to clean himself up but in the bath he supposed it didn’t matter.
The next class came and went, suddenly Oswald was on his third. He had been told exercising was supposed to get easier but his muscles were still screaming and he felt like his lungs were on fire. Things weren’t so great on the outside either, some of the participants had left because of his presence and others were making fun of him behind his back. Usually he felt quite powerful but here among these youthful thin bodies he felt like nothing. Once the class was over Oswald went up to Ed who was packing up his stuff.
“Eddie?”
“Yeah?”
“Is there any chance we could do…this but just the two of us?” Oswald asked.
“Ed paused, wondering why Oswald would ask to do such a thing.” Ed joked, putting on an overdramatized narrator voice.
Oswald rolled his eyes before continuing “I….feel like I’m bothering people.”
Ed wished he could say that wasn’t true but he’d gotten a number of complaints since Oswald joined. He nodded “I can do that..I’d have time tomorrow if you’re up for it.”
Oswald wanted to collapse at the thought of doing this two days in a row “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Oswald wanted to be alone with Ed but this didn’t seem worth it. Without the loud music and other people Oswald’s wheezing was loud and clear. Ed gave him some concerned looks but Oswald assured him he was alright..until he wasn’t. Before Oswald could process what was happening the room started spinning and he felt himself falling over.
“Ozzie??”
Oswald groaned as he woke up to Ed’s voice.
“Are you okay???”
Oswald went to get up but Ed stopped him, putting a hand on his chest. His eyes widened “Jesus Christ..” there was a worrying amount of heat coming off of Oswald’s body.
“Oswald-“
“That’s normal, ignore it.” Oswald slurred a bit as he was still waking up.
“That is not normal!”
“It is for me! I don’t really sweat so it just gets trapped inside I guess.”
Ed backed away and stood up “And you didn’t think to tell me that?!”
“What’s the big deal?”
“What’s- Oswald! You’re essentially giving yourself heat stroke, I never would’ve asked you to come if I knew about this!”
Oswald, with some effort, got to his feet. His head was still swirling.
“I mean why would you even come if you knew you’re not built for this kind of thing??”
The implication that Oswald was too weak for something made him angry “I wanted to impress you!” Oswald snapped. He deflated as he realized what he’d said. “Goodbye, Edward..” Oswald said curtly before stomping out.
Sneaking into Oswald’s house was harder than Ed expected but he’d managed it. As he followed the penguins he found Oswald in the kitchen poutily eating a chocolate cake having demolished a good bit of it already. “What do you want?” Oswald growled.
“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.. About what you said.. did you really put yourself through all of that for me?”
“..no.”
“But you said-“
“Will you just fuck off so I can eat my weight in sugar and wallow?”
Ed went over and grabbed Oswald’s arm to pull him up and star leading him to the front door. “What the hell do you think you’re doing??” Oswald didn’t struggle as much as he could, letting himself remain in Ed’s grasp.
“What’s your doctor’s name?” Ed asked.
After a lot of threatening Oswald’s doctor agreed to run some tests which took a few hours. Ed stayed with Oswald the entire time. When the doctor came back with the results Oswald was feeling more than impatient to hear. The doctor sighed “There’s things in your body our machines don’t even recognize. Besides asthma and hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia I don’t know exactly what is wrong with you.”
Oswald thought for a moment, processing the new information, he turned to the doctor snidely “That wasn’t so hard was it?” He got closer to him which caused the other man the back into a wall.
“So..do you want to start treatment or-“
“I’ll be seeing someone else for that.” Oswald said coldly, grabbing Ed’s hand and walking out with him.
Oswald and Ed sat in comfortable silence in the backseat as Oswald’s driver took them back to his house. Oswald felt better than he had in a few weeks. “Thanks for doing that, Ed..” Oswald said, turning to the other man. Ed looked at Oswald for a moment before suddenly kissing him. He looked surprised at himself as he pulled away “I’m sorry, I-“
Oswald pulled Ed close by his tie and started making out with him, unbuckling himself to get closer. Things were certainly starting to look up in Oswald’s life.