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He's standing on the stage, waiting to be disappointed again. Suddenly their name is called, and he's excited. They actually did it. They won, finally.
He turns to look at the MC and is startled to find them faceless. The trophy they hold isn't what he expected, instead it's a torn contract. He turns to Hui, terrified out of his wits.
"What's going on?"
"We won."
"Won what?"
"Disbandment of course."
Suddenly he feels like he's been kicked in the chest and he flies backwards as he watches each of his members also fly away from each other. He screams, reaching out to them, reaching out to his brothers, the men he wants to spend the foreseeable future with. The men he expects to be his first customers at his flower shop one day. But he isn't ready for that day to be today.
Suddenly there are hands on his shoulders, hands that appear as claws and he tries to fight as chains appear all over him, holding him in place.
"Kino... you're sentenced to life as a failure." The voice surrounds him, echoes distortedly.
"Please! Let me go! Hyungs!" Kino is sobbing, he thrashes but is held in place.
"Kino. KINO! KANG HYUNGGU!"
Kino's eyes fly open and he's surprised to be staring straight into the eyes of Lee Minhyuk. He takes a deep breath, feeling his throat is raw and noticing the sweat dripping into his eyes as he moves. Seeing him awake, Minhyuk lets go of his shoulder and steps back, letting Kino sit forward and drop his head into his hands as he pants.
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"Mind clueing me in on what the hell that was?" Minhyuk looks concerned, worried as to why his dongsaeng was screaming in his sleep. The younger feels regret for worrying him trickle down his back, as slow and as cold as molasses.
Kino is still looking at the ground when he answers, his face in his hands not helping the shaking that just wouldn't seem to stop. "I had a nightmare. It's fine, I'm fine now."
Minhyuk raises an eyebrow, scooting Kino over so he can sit beside him on the couch. "It doesn't look like you're fine Kino," He takes one of Kino's hands into his own, forcing the younger boy to look him in his eyes, "let's talk about it. It'll be easier for you to fall asleep."
The pink haired boy stares at him for a second before chuckling coldly. "I don't think I'll be falling asleep again any time soon. But sure, I'll talk about it.
"It started after we had won our first award, but as I turned around, the MC was holding a ripped contract. He said we disbanded, that THAT was our prize. Even though we had worked so hard this comeback. It was terrifying," His voice cracks as he speaks his nightmare out into the world, to Minhyuk. He could feel hot tears welling in his eyes.
A warm hand rests itself on Kino's back, grounding him as it rubs up his spine and back down. He looks over to Minhyuk, who's tears mirrored his own. The older boy felt his
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pain, he'd had these nightmares himself, back before BTOB had gotten a win of their own. That feeling like something deep inside him was clenched so tight it might turn into a star.
"Kino, listen to me. You can't let the fear take you. What you're doing here matters, it always matters, even when it feels like it doesn't. Let me show you something."
Minhyuk takes his hand and pulls Kino off of the couch he kept in his studio. Leading him over to a computer, the hyung gave him the smallest, most caring smile, and carefully put a set of headphones on Kino’s ears.
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Minhyuk plays him a song, his song, the one he poured blood, sweat and tears into and was told wasn't good enough to put on the discography. Not their style. Not their voice. Even though it was everything Minhyuk wanted, and the others agreed. Kino listens, lips open in wonder, and speaks only when it ends.
"I've never heard that one."
"No, you wouldn't have." Minhyuk smiles sadly. "No one but BTOB and some big heads in the upper levels have, and one of those groups didn't like it."
"What? This is amazing. This is one of the best songs I've ever heard!" Kino looks at Minhyuk in panic, his eyes the same as when he woke up from those nightmares.
"How many of Hwitaek's songs do you feel that way about that don't quite make it?" Kino's face says it all. Too many. Way too fucking many. "It's all money. The truth is, the song that's just boring enough for everyone to like it will make it over a revolutionary sound. That doesn't make it better."
"But then what do we do?" Kino cries. "What if we never win?"
Minhyuk comes close, rearranges them so that he's sitting in the desk chair and Kino really more in his lap. He gathers the boy in his arms until his face is pressed against his chest like a small child. Kino basically is, to Minhyuk anyway. He's one of fifteen little brothers who all share the same passions and dreams, and sadly - the same hardships.
"Hard work always pays off, Hyunggu-ah." He uses his real name, warm and soft, reminds him of who he is and who he's worked to be. Minhyuk shushes his sniffling, wiping at his cheeks. "All you can do is keep working like crazy, dreaming like crazy. As long as you love what you do, want that same goal - you'll make it."
"If Hui wasn't good enough for them," Kino sniffles again, face scrunching as a new round of tears comes up and Minhyuk's hand rests in his hair to hold him as though that can ease the pain. It's the most he can do right now. "H-how, how will Wooseok and I be enough?"
"You'll have to see, because I know you are." Kino looks up at him, eyes watery but full of spark. Full of hope and determination that seemed to be missing moments before. Minhyuk smiles at him, places a tender kiss on his forehead and watches Kino's cheeks flush a pretty shade of pink to match his hair.
"Thank you, hyung." Kino whispers.
"Let's get some sleep."