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Ranboo has a whole mess of feelings towards gender as a whole, at some points they feel perfectly amazing and happy and fucking proud to be a genderless being and be frankly beautiful and handsome at the same time, though at other times, they feel like a stranger in their own skin, and each moment they aren't looking for a way to find a warlock or something to just change everything about them they should lock themselves in a dark room and play a block game with people that they know online.
Coming out had also always been an *interesting* thing. In some cases, Ranboo came out by joking until everyone realized it wasn’t a joke anymore, in others panicking for days on end to send a simple message while the person isn't even online for them to find in the morning was how it happened. Coming out as “not straight” was far easier than as non-binary, because the jokes method works perfectly (for example, most recently, they came out to Tommy this way where in the you laugh you lose stream they kept making jokes then after stream they were asked if they were being serious or not). But they had only come out to one person as non-binary online, Tubbo, so there was a massive problem when now you are constantly around people in real life that don’t know to call you anything different than he/him. They know everything is going to be fine, considering how all of their friend group is very openly supportive, and/or part of the community. Like Tommy is a trans guy, Tubbo and Scott are gay, Niki Eret and Puffy are bi, quite a few of the smp are unlabeled either on the internet or in real life. So *that* wouldn't be a problem.
Though lying on the floor of their living space having a crisis on the verge of crying was not where Ranboo was expecting to be at 3 in the morning. This was also nowhere near where Tubbo expected his best friend and roommate to be when he came back from the bathroom after the stream, but he just lays down beside Ranboo and stays because he senses Ranboo needs someone to be there for them.
Looking back on the day, it shouldn’t have been a bad day. Hanging out and having fun with a bunch of their friends, streaming with their best friend and for one of the streams they got to watch a movie and laugh about space puppies and bald Chris Pratt. But now at the end of the day, Ranboo lays contemplating existence, on the verge of panic but not having the words to ask for help from someone so close yet so far away.
Tubbo seemed to sense this as well, “Ranboo, I know you enough to know that you need to talk about this. What’s going on in that head?”
“I have no clue,” Ranboo lies weakly, then realizes just how obvious it is, “Okay maybe I do but I don’t know how to say it.”
“That's okay,” Tubbo says softly, “Take your time big man.”
Ranboo visibly winces at the term, their hands, now removed from the gloves, tense into tight fists, and takes a shaky deep breath, trying to hold in some sort of demonic scream that is just urging itself out.
Of course, Tubbo notices and immediately sits up and grabs the other's hands to try to stop Ranboo from hurting themself (again) from their nails.
“Hey, hey, Ranboo you are safe here,” Tubbo says softly, “Can you tell me what you need me to do for you.”
Ranboo forces themself up into a seated position unfurling their fists and holding Tubbos hands limply, they let out a shaky breath looking down at the floor between them, “U-um, i-it's not that big of a d-deal.”
“No it definitely is, you and I both know that something is plaguing your mind,” Tubbo gives a comforting squeeze to Ranboo’s hands, “can you talk right now?”
“I-i think so,” Ranboo starts, “Bad day, I-I don’t know how to describe it.”
“Do you need me to go through some things and see how close we get?” Tubbo asks, earning a slow nod.
“Okay, is it content-related?”
“N-No.”
“Okay, is it sensory issues?”
“K-kinda,” Ranboo tries, “that added to it.”
Tubbo thinks for a second, remembering how Ranboo had reacted to ‘Big Man’ earlier, “Is it getting misgendered?”
“Y-yeah,” Ranboo says quietly, Tubbo ready to listen intently.
“It usually doesn't bother me as much as today with people talking about me like I'm a guy, but,” Their tone soft and vulnerable, “but at so many times today, I just wanted to scream it from the rooftops to just ‘Stop calling me a man’, but it was too many people all at once and I couldn’t make myself be the center of attention even for the time it takes to come out.”
Ranboo felt angry tears welling up in the corners of their eyes and felt even worse, because why today of all days. They should be happy to hang out with their friends, but with a weight dragging around every step of the way and the shackles of the weights unmoving and digging into skin just hurt more.
“Ranboo, can you look at me?” Tubbo asks, and Ranboo looks at him in the eyes (or well close enough, they are looking right between Tubbos eyes because eye contact is uncomfy), “You are loved and valid and I need you to remember that, I won’t tell you to come out to everyone because that isn’t my decision, but if you chose to, just know they will all be supportive and I will be by your side no matter what.”
“Thanks, Bo,” Ranboo smiles, then half-jokingly groans, “why couldn’t this be easier, like why couldn’t I be cis, or straight, or like have a ‘normal’ brain, it would make life so much easier.”
“Because that’s boring, and everything that makes you you is so much better than all those default humans,” Tubbo also half-jokes.
“True,” Ranboo feels so much better than before, “imagine being default, truly abysmal.”
“Hey!” Tubbo says mock offended.
“Ha! Nice gender, did your dad pick it out for you?” Ranboo laughs and Tubbo laughs hysterically along with them.
“I mean, I am only default in one category so that has to count for something,” Tubbo giggles, “I mean my overall gayness and my brain being all fucky makes me certainly not default.”
“True,” Ranboo sighs contently, “thanks Tubbo, I think I will come out to them soon, just need to find out how to.”
“Can it wait till morning?” Tubbo asks, “It is way too early for this shit.”
“Yeah sure,” Ranboo yawns.
---
“Ayup Lads,” Jack says ever so gracefully as Ranboo and Tubbo walk up to the group of their friends, Niki, Wilbur, Jack, Tommy, Phil, and Scott, as they are sitting on the beach.
It had been a few days since the conversation they had on the floor and had come up with a plan that was a mix of the two methods that Ranboo had formerly used to come out. Coming out by making jokes, being transparent, and just wait for them to open their fucking eyes to the *everything* about Ranboo. And if they don't figure it out Ranboo will just send them all a text after they get home.
“What’s up dumb fucks?” Tubbo flops down onto the big picnic blanket beside Tommy and Ranboo sits beside him chuckling.
“Nothing too much,” Wilbur giggles, “we were just waiting for you two.”
“Well no need to wait, we are here now,” Ranboo smiles behind the mask though no one can see it, they didn’t have to wear it as everyone here already knows what they look like or are going to find out, but it made them more comfortable so they continue to wear it.
“How are you?” Niki asks.
“Great, apart from how Ranboo slept past their alarm and I had to wake them up in time to come here,” Tubbo playfully sticks his tongue out at the other.
“Not my fault that you made me watch movies with you,” Ranboo retorts.
“Yes, it is,” putting Tubbo in stubborn.
“Literally how?” Ranboo asks as everyone is laughing at their ‘argument’.
“Well, nice to meet you in person,” Scott chuckles while talking to Ranboo, “though I honestly didn’t think someone could be taller than Wilbur.”
“Yeah it’s amazing,” Wilbur is still very excited about having someone taller than him.
“Will, one inch taller isn’t that impressive,” Ranboo reminds their friend and Wilbur just chuckles and opens the picnic basket and starts sharing the food around.
Throughout the picnic and the rest of the day, they catch a few people looking at the pins on their shirt, and while the rainbow is inconspicuous, the non-binary flag is quite telling, but no one mentions it other than the subtle use of more gender-neutral language in relation to them, but maybe that is something they always did and Ranboo is just noticing it because they were hyper-aware of it today.
It was later in the day, when someone asked about it, and that someone was none other than Mr. Tomathy Innit himself.
“Hey Ranboob,” Tommy says casually, while they were all sitting at some cafe or something, “If you feel comfortable, what pronouns do you use?”
“Uh, they/them,” Ranboo answers timidly, while Tubbo was wearing the proudest smile.
“YO Pog,” Tommy holds his hand up for a high five, and Ranboo graciously accepts.
“Good for you,” Scott says, “I really like your pins.”
“Yeah I noticed them earlier just didn’t know if you meant to keep them on,” Wilbur says kindly.
“Proud of you mate,” Phil says with a smile.
“Thanks, guys,” Ranboo’s chest where a normal tight or caged feeling lies, has a new warmth, and the weights are just lifted no more shackles while sitting here with supportive friends.
“Wait, is there a different name?” Wilbur asks, “Don’t wanna get anything wrong.”
“Yeah, well considering Ranboo is my chosen name, you can’t get anything wrong,” Ranboo chuckles.
“Well that makes it easy,” Jack chuckles, “Congrats on coming out mate.”
“Oh, also, Jack, you get to add another to the girls, the gays, and Jack Manifold,” Ranboo points to the rainbow pin.
“Yoooo, let’s go!” Jack then proceeds to make dababy references for a solid 20 seconds.
“Final question, I don’t wanna overwhelm you,” Tommy says because guess what, he is actually very considerate in real life, “Can I call you big man?”
“Uh,” Ranboo starts, “Sometimes I guess? It is usually fine, but on really bad days it makes me feel just ugh. y’know?”
“Yeah, believe me, I know,” Tommy smiles, “Got it.”
“Oh, on the topic of coming out, Phil how would you feel to exile ‘The Genderman’ “himself”” Ranboo puts air quotes around the word, “from the boys?”
“Is that seriously how you want to come out to the fans?” Phil just laughs with everyone.
“What? You’re my comfort streamer Phil,” Ranboo fails to keep a straight (pfft) face.
“Not you too,” Phil light-heartedly groans as Tommy and Ranboo just high-five.
---
RanbooLive would like to share something with everyone LUL
philza minecraft, would you care to exile me from the boys and shoot me swiftly into some blackhole where i can store all the gender i have stolen from the nice people :D NonbinaryPride
“Pfft,” Phil pauses his game and looks over to his alerts, “Ranboo, I kind of thought you were joking when you said this was how you were coming out.”
Phil cackles at their antics, “everyone o7 for Ranboo.”
The chat fills with o7’s NonbinaryPride hearts and general shock. Then Ranboo calls Phil.
“So, I did it,” Ranboo clearly has a smile on their face and sighs, “I want mac and cheese.”
“Dude, you just came out to 90k people and your first thought is how you want mac and cheese?”
“Yeah, duh,” Ranboo says as it should be obvious (it is), “I want Ikea mac and cheese.”
“Bruh,” Phil drawls, he was about to continue when another alert caught his eye.
TommyInnit would like to share something with everyone LUL
philza minecraft, ambassador of men, you have already welcomed me to the boys but can you do it on stream. TransgengerPride
“Bruh, you too?” Phil rolls his eyes playfully, “Tommy welcome to the boys. Just get over to the mic before the chat cries, I know you are in the same room as Ranboo.”
As expected, two coming outs in less than 5 minutes have chat spamming pride and sharing lovely support to them.
“Hello father minecraft and Ranboob,” Tommy enters the conversation with a slightly more giggly version of his typical entry.
“Why did you both decide to come out on my stream?” Phil asks, still chuckling at the hilarity of the situation.
There is a pause and in sync, the two say, “Because you’re my comfort steamer.”
“Fuck you chaotic children,” Phil says between full-bellied laughs.
“Tubbo!” Ranboo yells back into the room, “Wanna get even more chaotic?”
“Fuck yeah!” Tubbo runs to his friends, “Are we doing triple or quadruple coming out today?”
“Go the whole mile,” Ranboo says, “I’m Queer."
“And I’m gay as shit,” Tubbo says smiling.
“Boob boi, bee boy, do you want to go do a q&a on, let’s say my channel in 5 minutes?” Tommy asks, already knowing the answer.
“Hell yeah!” Tubbo says excitedly.
“You chaotic little shits,” Phil shakes his head fondly, “I’m gonna end up then send them to you when you go live.”
“Thanks, Phil,” Tommy before Ranboo leaves the call.
Everyone was gay that day.
gay
/ɡā/
adjective
1.
(of a person) homosexual (used especially of a man).
"the city's gay and lesbian people"
2.
DATED
lighthearted and carefree.
"Nan had a gay disposition and a very pretty face"