Archive of Our Own ^beta

One of the first things that a sorcerer is told is that words are powerful, with the example of a seemingly innocent ‘see you later’ if said with enough curse, may lead from one person turning blind to millions of people losing their eyes in the best of the cases.

Satoru from a very, very young age has been told and told again to keep in check what comes from his mouth, even now that he can completely control his curse energy he still is reminded by Yaga to be careful.

A curse born from the strongest sorcerer alive would be extremely powerful, extremely dangerous.

The point is, every word has consequences, and Satoru finds that that same concept applies to basically everything.

The Hundred Demons Night Parade on December 24th was a catalyst to many consequences too, with the parade came a hell of deaths, even more injured, mass destruction, the dispelling of Rika and Suguru’s death.

Satoru is… having a hard time with the last one.

On one hand, from a sorcerer's point of view, this is a really good outcome. Suguru was, after all, categorized as a Special Grade for a reason, with the great technique and the tactical intellect that made him a tremendously powerful ally being used against them.

It didn’t help at all that the asshole had a sort of thing that Satoru doesn’t know how to describe, but Suguru had something that made people inclined to like him, and he knew it, as he didn’t think twice to use it to gain followers and allies.

All in all, Suguru was a fucking powerhouse, that was suddenly removed out of the picture, a danger that was eliminated. To the higher-ups, this achievement seemed to make all the shit that went down on the 24th worth it.

(Fucking bastards, calling Suguru’s death an achievement as if they were the ones who fought, said so flippantly as if they didn’t play a huge part in his prior downfall, making him become what he is─ was. Disregarding every loss as a minor inconvenience.)

Now, on the other hand…

Satoru doesn’t know what to do.

Suguru’s death was something that had to be done, in order to prevent worse things, he knows, he knows. But this was the same guy which who Satoru used to fuck around in class, he had seen him cry like a baby over a dog’s death in a movie. Suguru had, somehow, destroyed all his walls and became a crucial part of his life, he had managed to gain his respect. He had seen Satoru as his worst and had saved him from drowning in darkness after Amanai Riko. Satoru knew he could rely on him.

Suguru is his best friend.

And even after all the murder, even after all the years, Satoru trusted him enough to send his precious students to fight him, knowing Suguru wouldn’t kill them, and Suguru did not disappoint. Perhaps it would have been easier if he did, but now Satoru knows that there was a part of Suguru that reminded the same, that reminded of his best friend.

It hurts more than it should.

Shoko had told him that it was okay to grieve, but what’s there to grieve? A loss of a friend that Satoru had already lost before?

(Satoru has been grieving since 2007.)

Besides, Suguru’s death is not the only thing that is difficult to manage.

Satoru would be lying if he didn’t expect some repercussions with Rika’s dispelling. Would be lying if he said that didn’t expect Yuuta to be severely affected, in what way though, he couldn’t tell you that.

The emotional problems were what worried him the most, mainly because of how unpredictable these are. It can be handled extremely well or extremely badly, and in his experience, the latter is the one sorcerers are inclined the most.

To be honest, Satoru has no damn clue how Yuuta is doing. He seems rather fine, but then again, Suguru looked rather fine and he wasn’t rather fine, he was drowning in misery, but Yuuta doesn’t look like he is losing an unhealthy amount of weight, so that counts, right?

He really seems to be doing fine if you completely ignore how Yuuta seems to not be closing his eyes in the slightest. Satoru thought that Shoko’s dark circles were bad, but holy shit, Yuuta’s looked like someone had put black paint under his eyes.

All this situation is being made worse by the higher-ups, as usual. You see, with Rika getting dispelled, Yuuta rank came plummeting to a Fourth Grade sorcerer, mainly, because the higher-ups are fucking idiots. ‘There's no way the kid is that strong’ they said, ‘the curse was the Special Grade, the brat was just a victim’ they said.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks and it was blatantly obvious that they fucked up, with Yuuta's accelerated growth as a sorcerer, the development of his copycat technique, and the immense cursed energy he gave in waves became harder and harder to deny. The cherry on top was Todo Aoi straight up demanding that Okkotsu Yuuta regain his original rank as a Special Grade.

“Okkotsu Yuuta swept the floor with me during the Goodwill event earlier this year and you have the audacity to demote him?” Todo had skipped all pleasantries and gone straight for the head. And without waiting for a response he had continued “Even without the Special Grade vengeful cursed spirit known as Orimoto Rika, you have to be blind to not see the sheer amount of cursed energy the guy has. How do you expect him to grow when his power is not acknowledged?”

Todo had gone on a rant that destroyed all counterarguments and gave no other option to the higher-ups to reluctantly agree to promote Yuuta to a Grade 1 and have him sent to a couple of missions to test if he really was to be considered a Special Grade. Turns out a “couple of missions” translated to “overexploit Yuuta like if there was no tomorrow.”

Satoru is disappointed but not surprised, but, hey, at least they are not trying to execute Yuuta. Well, that was what they told Satoru and every other sorcerer, but Satoru would not be surprised if they were trying to kill him behind the curtains.

So, with the overwhelming amount of missions Yuuta has been doing plus his newfound inability to shut-eye after Rika, seems to be taking his toll on him.

And Satoru will straight up admit it, he doesn’t know what the fuck to do. When he asked Ijiichi to investigate Yuuta, he had dug up everything, and when Satoru says everything he means every detail of Yuuta’s life, not only his complicated family tree.

Among other things it was revealed that his dear long lost cousin had chronic insomnia, which with the eyebags that were basically Yuuta’s defining feature and with the whole ‘I watched the crushed head of my childhood sweetheart and she became a terrifying curse that haunted my life’ thing, it really wasn’t a surprise. But, if anything, Satoru thought that with Rika going away, it would have been easier for Yuuta to sleep, not the exact opposite.

Satoru had gone to Shoko for help, he thought that there were some medicines to cure insomnia, or at least help dealing with it, but Shoko had cut him short “Yuuta’s system develops a tolerance to every medication he takes at a fascinating speed.”

“Due to his high amount of cursed energy.”

“I think so, his cursed energy makes his body have a high resistance and makes his metabolism work faster.”

“Hmm, trying to protect itself?”

“Who knows? I’m still trying to figure it out myself, for now, I am making him take Lembeoroxant, but at this rate, I might have to change it again.” A drag of her cigarette and she continued. “I would increase his doses but then it would be ridiculously high, and I will not risk an overdose or Yuuta accidentally developing an addiction.”

Long story short, it was a dead end.

As such, the only thing Satoru can think about to help is trying to take some of the weight Yuuta has on his shoulders, something that, looking back, wishes he had done with Suguru, and it is taking on some of his missions.

This isn’t as easy as it seems, because Satoru, for one, has his one share of missions, and if they weren’t solved as quickly but Yuuta’s were it would raise a lot of suspicions, which would only make things worse for the kid.

A couple of days later, Satoru is called to a meeting with the higher-ups.

He arrives as the clock hits 4 p.m., and has to do a double-take at the enormous amount of cursed energy his six eyes see coming from the inside. How curious, what business is there to have both of them here? Must be serious, or they are just planning on executing Yuuta again, not that Satoru will allow it. There’s only a way to find out though, so he kicks the door open.

What immediately welcomes him in the room it’s a harsh “You’re late.”

“Good afternoon to you too, you sound quite upset, is something the matter?”

“Four hours, Gojo.”

“Have some respect.” There are fewer screens than usual, which Satoru already knew to some degree, but with the way Yuuta’s energy seems to swallow the others and how he is inclined to focus on the bigger flow of energy, it was hard to know exactly how many of them were actually in there.

He counts a total of three screens, so it’s more of a secretive thing than a serious one.

The higher-ups are still at it with his lateness, so instead of listening to nonsense, he approaches the familiar figure awkwardly standing in the center of the room. “But if it is none other than my precious student! How have you been, Yuuta?”

Yuuta clearly didn’t expect to be spoken directly if the way he startles is any indicator, his cursed energy rising momentarily. He throws a quick glance to the screen at his right before replying “Good, I think.”

He is inclined to disagree, as the bags under his eyes have bags, but Satoru will not push the issue in front of the vultures here. “To have two sorcerers of our capacity here, I wonder what the issue is.”

“Tsk, listen to what we are telling you.”

“Time and time again─”

“It’s no use, I keep telling you.”

“It still doesn’t give him the right.”

Seriously, talking to them is exhausting. “I’m certain that there are more important things that I could be handling right now, so would you like to finish this later?”

There’s an old thing still blabbering about insolence, and Satoru chuckles at Yuuta’s exasperated sigh. “As you may know, Okkotsu Yuuta’s promotion to a Special Grade has been discussed for some time now.” One of them finally says, which makes the other two snap into focus.

“We have been sending you to missions that normally, we would send Gojo Satoru or at least five Grade One sorcerers. You have been completing all these missions successfully.”

No way.

“In response to all your hard work, we have concluded that you have the capabilities to be a Special Grade sorcerer.”

No fucking way. So soon?

“Still, we will send you to a last mission as a Grade One with a supervisor of a higher rank that will overwatch your performance, based on his report we will promote you.”

“Think of it as a final test.” There’s a catch here, Satoru can feel it. Barely a month passed since Yuuta raised to a Grade One and suddenly they are returning him to his initial position?

He expected that it would happen in half a year with his intervention. Perhaps four months if things went extremely well.

This is due to factors: one, the higher-ups hate to admit that they made a mistake, and Yuuta's ascension after his demotion will make painfully obvious that they were in the wrong; two, is that when sorcerers are put in this ‘trial period’ (for lack of another term), is that creates the perfect excuse to send sorcerers to more missions than normal while being underpaid.

Basically, it allows them to make sorcerers run themselves into the ground while they make minimum wage. The higher-ups deliberately choosing to make Yuuta a Special Grade takes away their ability to overexploit him, and considering how much they love to do it (search ‘Geto Suguru’ in the archives of the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College to have a better idea of it.) It's suspicious.

“Gojo Satoru, you will be the one supervising him.”

“Normally, it’s not allowed for either the teacher or the person who made the recommendation to supervise nor join in these missions. But this is a special occasion, Special Grades are anomalies and we weren’t able to contact Tsukumo Yuki.” Yuuta shoots him a questioning gaze at her name which reminds Satoru that he did not tell him about her. Oops.

Well, there’s nothing he can do about it right now, so he mouths ‘tell you later.’

“Which makes me the only Special Grade to evaluate him, even though I am both his teacher and the person who recommended him, gotcha.” Yuki would have denied, either way, a shame, he would have liked Yuuta to meet her. Although how good is she at handling kids? Perhaps it is better that Satoru will be the one overseeing him.

(Suguru would be the one doing the evaluation if he hadn’t gone away, would that have been even better in this case?)

“Indeed.”

“As long as it is fine with you, Okkotsu, of course.” the way it says could almost be described as gentle, one might believe they really care but it’s said in such a detached manner, as an afterthought.

It makes him sick, this mockery of concern. As if they don’t send people they don’t like on suicide missions. A beat of silence passes which makes Satoru wonder if Yuuta knows too that it is more of a formality, that they aren’t giving him an option.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Good.” They don’t say anything after that, and Satoru has the feeling they are smiling in a disgusting way behind those screens.

“Hey, so, it’s that all you guys wanted to tell us? Because Yaga could have done it, you know. Can’t imagine that you went through all the trouble for just this, must be nice to have all that free time if there’s nothing else though.”

“Insolent.”

“Watch your words.”

“Tsk. No, there is something else.”

“You guys sure are taking your sweet time. If you just wanted to see me, you could have just told me.”

“Listen, you-”

“That’s enough, both of you.” These guys are simmering in rage, Satoru has to look up to the ceiling to see if there’s smoke coming from them, sadly there isn’t any but their cursed energy seems so small, Satoru thinks it counts as smoke at this point.

There’s a sudden shift in the room and the angry voice of before is cold as ice as it says “From now to the end of this meeting we expect that not a single word will be uttered about what will be said to anyone else.”

“Two years ago, we received notice that a group of small curse users was starting to form. We did not receive much information about the group, our informant, Sugiyama Yua, went missing before she could discover more. A small investigation started that came empty-handed, with no tracks to follow, it became a cold case and Sugiyama Yua was presumed dead.”

“Was that all?” Satoru intervenes. “A couple of people searching for her for like, what? two weeks? that didn’t discover anything and you didn’t do more?” Knowing how things like these are handled when the people missing aren’t high-grade sorcerers, by small investigation probably means someone probably screamed her name and didn’t get a reply.

“It was one month.” The thing behind the screen at the front says indignantly.

“Admittedly, we didn’t give it much importance, more than, presumably, kidnapping Sugiyama Yua, they didn’t do anything else.”

“Until now.”

“Until now, yes.”

“Excuse me” surprisingly, it’s Yuuta who interrupts this time. “Um, if you didn’t do a full investigation, how are you so sure that they didn’t do anything before?”

The cursed energy of the higher-ups spikes up in alarm. “Most─ most of it was from Geto Suguru’s group.”

“Most?”

“Oh, yeah, all of our resources were focused on them.” They don’t even acknowledge Yuuta’s question this time.

“The residuals left in a lot of, uh, crimes that a curse user would do belonged to someone of Geto Suguru’s group, or to Geto Suguru himself.”

Are─ holy shit, are they serious?

There was no way to know if something was from Suguru’s group, they know this, they know that Satoru knows this, there’s no way that they believe such a blatant lie to excuse their own carelessness.

Suguru is─ was, nothing but careful. If he came to a situation when having to do something compromising was necessary, he would make sure that the people he sent knew how to properly cover their residuals.

Or, Suguru himself would go, ‘can never be too careful’ he would say. Problem was that the guy was a fucking expert at covering his residuals, there’s a reason that half of the time Suguru didn’t get in trouble with Yaga when he did some shit with Satoru (fucker didn’t even doubt on ditching him when they accidentally burned Yaga’s cursed corpses.)

His technique made it worse, with how many curses he ate per day, his cursed energy became indistinguishable to the one of an actual curse, which meant that Suguru didn’t have any necessity of covering his residuals as it would always look like a curse was responsible.

It’s one of the things anyone that investigated Suguru and his group will tell you when asked, they didn’t leave any residuals. Yet, the higher-ups are here, talking about residuals and Suguru in the same sentence.

They are still at it, even when Yuuta very much obviously is not buying into any of their excuses.

Someone clears his throat and changes the topic in a painfully noticeable way “Anyway, back in November, sorcerers of different categories have been showing up dead, all of their eyes have been removed, and there are residuals that can be traced to Sakamoto Touma, a former Second Grade sorcerer. Sakamoto Touma was one of the people Sugiyama Yua confirmed to be in the group before her disappearance. Along with Zenin Hotaru, former Grade One sorcerer, and Hirano Ayaka, former Grade One sorcerer, their residuals have also been confirmed on some of the bodies.”

“After December 24th, these murders grew in number at an alarming speed. So far, twenty one deaths can be traced to them, two of them were sorcerers of Grade Four, six were Grade Three, eight were Grade Two and five were Grade One. We managed to get some information about the group and it’s estimated that there are at least twelve curse users, five Grade One, three Grade Two, and four of unknown grade.”

“Recently, one of our windows reported seeing Hirano Ayaka, in Shizuoka along with two unknown curse users. Later on, they managed to confirm that Zenin Hotaru arrived in the same city. There have been some other sightings from different curse users these past days, there seems to be some type of reunion in Shizuoka.”

“Alright! so you want Yuuta to go, find out where they are hiding and detain all the curse users, sounds easy enough.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Okkotsu Yuuta, your mission is to eliminate them.”

What.

Yuuta makes a choking sound at his side and his eyes open comically wide, Satoru would find his loss of words funny if not for the circumstances surrounding it.

“When─” a cough and Yuuta tries again. “When you say eliminate, do, uh, do you mean─”

“Kill them.”

Fucking. Assholes.

With the confirmation that they want them dead, Satoru finally understands their plan. It’s a fucking devious plan that’s being executed to perfection and so, so painfully common from them. “You see Okkotsu Yuuta, we don’t have a reason to detain them, they are not much more than petty criminals killing for the laughs of it, there are no big schemes behind them.”

“Everyone from their group may be in Shizuoka already, so why bother capturing when we can end all of it in one go?” That's one of the weakest arguments Satoru has heard from them, in normal circumstances they would be detained, you can’t just make missions on expectations, especially with so little information. It’s just a recipe for disaster.

“Why do you seem so surprised?”

“This is a pretty common mission for a Special Grade.”

“But, if you are not ready to take on them…” another says with a voice covered in fake pity.

“I─”

“Not to worry Okkotsu Yuuta, we will be understanding, just this time, if instead of killing them you choose to detain them, the missions will still be considered a success.”

“With the exception that you will not be promoted to a Special Grade, you will remain as a Grade One until we deem appropriate.”

“You don’t have to tell us what you would do, let the results of the mission speak for themselves.” They must have rehearsed this shit, with how fast they were talking one after another, and didn't even let poor Yuuta process.

How should Satoru tackle this situation?

Silence settles between the room, only broken by a soft tap tap tap of a finger against a table coming from the screen from his left. They are waiting for something, a reaction, from Yuuta, the smallest display of discomfort or weakness.

Display that doesn’t come, just the soft reply of “Is that all?”

The tap tap tap comes to an abrupt halt and there’s an abrupt change in the cursed energy behind the screens. What they were expecting from Yuuta wasn’t that, it was an immediate rebuttal to being appointed as an executor. They clearly are expecting Yuuta to stay as a Grade One, this acceptance is already throwing their carefully made plan off the rails.

Yuuta is quite the actor, for him to hold the facade of apathy in such a natural way. Satoru would be convinced too if he didn’t know his students.

“Yes, you are dismissed.” is eventually said.

“Gojo Satoru, there are some additional matters we would like to discuss with you so stay.” What a coincidence, Satoru also has something else to say.

But first, he slightly taps Yuuta’s back before the boy starts walking, discreetly enough to go unnoticed by the higher-ups but strong enough for Yuuta to feel it. Tries to offer some comfort with it ‘you handled it well’.

“See you later, Yuuta!” The boy gives him a hesitant wave of a hand and gets out of the chamber and in the moment the barrier confirms that Yuuta is out of earshot the whole atmosphere changes to something more hostile.

Both the higher-ups and Satoru had been containing a lot, but for different reasons. They want Yuuta’s trust and vulnerability, want Yuuta to have blind loyalty in them. If they showed what they do now with Satoru it would never be possible for them to get it. Less people here to not overwhelm him, the fake consideration, how toned down they seemed with Satoru's usual rudeness.

Satoru for his part just didn’t want to put the kid through unnecessary stress, talking to these things and his little mind games can be nerve-wracking. Satoru is going to tell him what happened here later, anyways. There’s no need for Yuuta to interact with them more.

“You are really appointing Yuuta as an executioner?”

“We understand your concerns but if he’s going to be a Special Grade-”

“Special Grade or not, he is still a kid.”

“Age doesn’t matter for a sorcerer.”

“I know that, but most sorcerers aren’t assigned to kill until their third year.”

“So? Most of them kill in their first year.”

“Still, it is different and you all know it.” There’s a huge difference between killing due to necessity and setting from the start that you will kill, especially when the people you are going to kill haven't done anything to you.

The first one feels like self-defense, or revenge, in some cases. The second one feels like just plain murder. Not only that but Yuuta has to kill at least twelve people in one go.

They should be aware of the mental impact it has, especially in a kid, not only that with but how delicate this issue is within sorcerers, how they are going to negatively impact a child with the power to wipe all sorcerers except for two. One? Satoru doesn’t really know how Yuki would hold against Yuuta.

“I find it weird, you know. How even I, the strongest sorcerer, wasn’t appointed as an executor until my second year in the school was ending.”

“Your conditions and Okkotsu Yuuta’s conditions are different.” Conditions, Satoru finds it funny.

“I will not deny that the conditions are different, but what matters here is the power. Since when have you taken into account if someone is capable of killing when you rank them?”

“Always it’s taken into account─”

“No, it isn’t, if that were the case one of the first things you would have the schools do would be making first years commit murder in their first week. When I entered the school, I was immediately ranked as a Special Grade, nobody ever made any comment on me having to kill somebody.” Satoru had known, of course, that it would happen eventually, but everyone born in a sorcerer family, especially in one of the big clans, knows it. It’s ingrained into you. How they cope with that fact is another matter.

“Furthermore, when Suguru entered─”

“Do not bring that Geto Suguru int─.”

“When former Special Grade sorcerer, Geto Suguru, entered the school,” it’s incredible, how they are trying so hard to bury Suguru into the past, refusing to hear anything from him, refusing to accept they helped to create the guy that committed massacre like it was nothing. “He wasn’t told anything about murdering either, he was immediately categorized as a Special Grade.”

Satoru can hear the rebuttal before it speaks so he continues. “Yes, I recognize that there were problems regarding his rank at the beginning but none of the problems were regarding murder. It was because he didn’t come from a sorcerer family.”

“Geto Suguru’s conditions and Okkotsu Yuuta’s conditions are different.” The boy has a connection with the Gojo clan is unsaid but heard.

Again with the conditions, they are going in circles, no matter what he says the higher-ups still give the same poorly made excuses. What’s worse, Satoru is running out of arguments, these things won’t let him repeat himself while Satoru is talking to a broken record.

This isn’t a ‘why shouldn’t we execute him?’ but of a ‘why can’t he, with all of his power, execute a criminal?’ thing, as such the higher-ups are more stubborn. In all honesty, this is a matter of being a decent human being, and as Nanami would say, kids shouldn’t be doing shit like murdering when there’s plenty of adults that can do it instead, no matter how powerful the child is.

Tragically, the higher-ups aren’t known to be decent people. Really, there is nothing more Satoru can do and it’s fucking infuriating.

“Anyway, we aren’t keeping you here to negotiate Okkotsu Yuuta’s mission.” Not a subtle way to change the topic at all.

“Figures, what do you want?”

“We want to make a Binding Vow with you for this mission.”

What.

“What.”

“Just a precaution, we have to make sure that if the group is killed, it’s due to Okkotsu Yuuta and not you.”

“So, you want to stop me from killing them completely?”

“If the one who kills them it’s Okkotsu Yuuta, without your involvement, he will be promoted to a Special Grade, whoever if you kill a single person from the group, he will stay as a Grade One sorcerer for a year.” They really want Yuuta to stay as a Grade One if these are the lengths they are taking. No involvement would mean that even talking to someone from the group would retain Yuuta’s ascension, as it could be considered intimidation or distraction on Satoru’s part.

So, if Yuuta doesn’t kill the group, he will stay as a Grade One. If Satoru interacts in any form with the group, Yuuta stays as a Grade One. If Satoru doesn’t accept the Binding Vow, they won’t let him evaluate Yuuta and he will stay as a Grade One.

Satoru has to play his cards right then. “I might accept, depending on your acceptance of my own set of conditions.”

“Which are?”

“First, if Yuuta acts as the executioner without my involvement, his promotion to a Special Grade will be immediately after the mission.”

A beat of silence and Satoru can confirm at that moment that the higher-ups would have made Yuuta stay as a Grade One for a while after the mission was completed. “We accept.”

“Right! Second, Yuuta won’t have to kill all members of the group─”

“Unacceptable.”

“Wait, wait, wait, let me finish first. Jeez, you have no modals, didn’t you know that’s rude to interrupt someone when he is talking?”

“Tsk. Why shouldn’t he kill them all?”

“Because, even you guys don’t know the exact numbers of people there are, so have at least Yuuta kill ten of them.” Satoru will make things easier for the kid as much as he can, bringing down the number of people he has to kill is his priority.

“Ten?”

“Let him bring two members of the group, for interrogation, who knows? Perhaps they are planning something bigger, like the Hundred Demons Night Parade type of big.”

“...”

“Increase it to eleven.”

“We don’t know whose or if they even have a leader. We don’t know the structure they have, so how the information is distributed between them is nothing but a wild guess.” They don’t know a lot, which solidifies his theory that this assignment originally was one of arrest, but changed at the last minute to an execution to not let Yuuta move up.

He continues, “Isn’t it safer to bring two? maybe the one he brings doesn’t know much, and even then just bringing two feels unwise, perhaps three?”

“No, the number of people Okkotsu Yuuta brings will not be more than two.”

“So, is that a yes to him just having to kill ten people?”

“Fine, we accept.” A shame that Satoru couldn’t bring it down to nine.

“That means I will be able to interact with the arrested.”

“Yes.”

“Wonderful! Last but not least, Yuuta’s missions will be reduced to a normal amount.”

“They already are a normal amount.”

“No, he’s been going to at least four missions per week, sometimes five, if a month has at least four weeks. He has been doing sixteen to twenty missions per month, for a Special Grade the normal amount would be twelve.”

“There’s been a lot of activity from curses lately.”

“Then why didn't I have more than usual?”

They are creating a similar situation that drove Suguru to his breaking point and the idiots don't even realize it.

“We aren’t testing if you have the capabilities to become a Special Grade.” Excuses, excuses, if anything Yuuta should be the one doing less than Satoru. “If it is an inspection to see if he can do it then why is it harder than the actual job?”

“...”

“You might as well make him a Special Grade now.”

“If.” the person in front of him says harshly. “If Okkotsu Yuuta kills three people, then his assignments will be reduced.”

“We have a deal.” Satoru is really betting all on Yuuta’s acting as an executioner, he really hopes the kid is capable of doing it.

“Is there a particular reason why we are going out so early?” Yuuta asks. The clock on the train’s station reads four eleven, and the early air is so cold that he can see every exhale both of them make. “The ride to Shizuoka is just two hours and a half, we could have made it in the afternoon, or when the sun is out at least.”

Rolling up the magazine, Satoru answers “Why are we going so early? Well, to make the most of this trip of course!”

“...Make the most?

“Yep!” He holds his rolled-up magazine and whacks Yuuta’s head with it. “Come on, Yuuta! It’s not every day you make a trip to Shizuoka, even if you did, it’s not every day you make a trip with your distant cousin! or uncle, perhaps you are my uncle, have you ever thought of it that way?”

“No? Not really, there are more ways than cousin or uncle that we could be, I guess.”

“Are you saying we are brothers?”

“Uh, I don’t think we are brothers, I don’t really know how, uh, any of your parents look, Gojo.” Yuuta takes some questions so seriously, it’s hilarious. “And my parents, they would tell me if I had an older brother so, uh, no?”

“Have you asked them if you had an older brother?”

“No, but─”

“Anyway! it's not every day we go out together, so we have to make the most of it!”

“We can still make the most of it at more sensate hours of the day though.”

He whacks Yuuta in the head again. “No, no, no, Yuuta! The earlier we arrive, the earlier we will finish the mission, so the rest of the time we can spend enjoying Shizuoka.”

Now that he thinks about it. “Have you ever been to Shizuoka?”

The boy shakes his head in denial. “What a perfect opportunity then! You couldn’t have traveled with someone better than me. You know if I hadn’t become a sorcerer I could have been the perfect tour guide.”

“Um, Gojo, have you ever been to Shizuoka before?”

“Of course I have! about six years ago and it was a different city, but not to worry Yuuta,” Satoru plops himself next to his cousin and opens his magazine in an article that reads ‘Places that you have to visit in Shizuoka!!’ “I have everything under control and I’m certain that it isn’t as different as the other.”

“We are gonna get lost,” Yuuta says, dubiously looking at the article. He takes a look at the clock “It’s too early to get lost.”

The last part feels more directed at himself than to Satoru. The clock hits four-twenty and their train arrives precisely at that moment, Satoru will always be impressed by its punctuality. Grabbing their baggage they start walking towards it.

“Anyways, why are you so bothered by the hour? It’s not like you were asleep.” He had opened Yuuta’s door quietly that morning, ready to approach his student’s bed and start making as much noise as two pans being banged together were capable of doing, just to find Yuuta staring straight into his soul, phone in hand.

The end result was nothing but awkward, as it was Satoru’s first time finding someone awake when he intended to be an asshole at three in the morning and Yuuta didn’t know what the fuck was going on, so they just quietly stared at each other. In retrospect, Satoru should have expected his student not to be sleeping.

“I feel like I get more tired in the morning, and it’s colder.”

“I’m sure that the first part is because you didn’t sleep.”

Yuuta takes a seat in silence, and doesn't give him more than a low “Perhaps.”

Satoru sighs and sits beside him, he wants to say something about it but the kid beats him. “Do you think it will be hard to discover where the group is hiding?” Yuuta is aware of how bad his sleeping habits have become after Rika, he knows that Satoru knows, but would rather skip the heavy topic.

Satoru gets it, things like these are not something pleasant to talk about but it’s not something he can let slide, this is a conversation they have to have.

(Satoru ignores the memory of a worried-looking Yaga, weeks after Suguru had gone away. Ignores how Shoko had the same expression a couple of days after the 24th. Both times Satoru had run away after Suguru’s name left their mouths. Satoru ignores how he, too, has to have a serious conversation.)

But not now, not in front of strangers on a crowded train, not when there’s a more serious topic that they can’t avoid. “No, this group is really stupid after all.”

“Stupid? Why is that?”

“You see, Yuuta, all reflectors had been pointing to Suguru, taking away all attention from the other actors on the stage but now that his scene is over, the reflectors are back to illuminating it all. Any curse user with enough common sense will be moving behind curtains until the next big actor makes his entrance.”

Yuuta makes a contemplating sound, which Satoru takes as his cue to continue “The only ones standing on the stage are scraps of Suguru’s followers or the stupid, generally they are the same person.”

“They aren’t his followers though.”

Satoru feels a smile making his way to his face. The kid is observant if, with just the two interactions he had with Suguru, he can recognize that. “100 points to you!”

“Are they trying to make a statement then?”

With how they are just targeting sorcerers? How a Zenin is with them? “Probably.” The way they are being taken is probably symbolism of some kind, something about blindness, he guesses. “No use speculating about it, we can just ask them when you detain one.”

“Detain, uh.” There’s a somber note in his tone, and when Satoru turns to see him he finds him looking down at his hands. Satoru takes out his phone and lets him be.

Half an hour later, when he is in the middle of a particularly hard level of Candy Crush, that Yuuta seems to be done. His student is restless, he notes. There must be something he wants to tell Satoru but doesn’t know where to start.

Satoru will have to take the first step, so he loses on purpose and asks. “I was wondering what you are thinking of doing.”

Yuuta jumps at the direct question. “I─ I don’t─ what are you talking a─” He shuts up and seems to realize something, the kid takes a deep breath and directs his gaze to the floor.

A moment of silence passes and Yuuta starts. “They─ this group, I mean. They are bad people, right?”

Satoru doesn’t get a chance to respond before he continues. “They have hurt─ killed people. People with families, with friends. They will keep doing it unless they are stopped. But they also have things they care about too. They are humans, too.”

“So was Geto Suguru,” It feels like someone slapped Satoru, but Yuuta doesn’t stop. “And I still killed him.”

Did nobody tell Yuuta that he wasn’t the one to kill Suguru? Or he already knows? Is he talking about intent, on how he was determined to end his life? Is that one of the reasons he can’t sleep?

Should Satoru tell him?

“But I don’t feel bad about it.” that… Satoru didn’t expect that. “There’s no guilt, there’s no regret, there’s nothing. Just─ I don’t know, relief? or happiness, perhaps. I hated him, I hate him. He almost killed my friends.”

Just at the memory, something seems to spark in Yuuta, is something unmistakably dark and ominous. Satoru might call it murder intent, but it feels slightly different, is scary, for sure. He sees him clenching his hands and the space surrounding him starts feeling more and more oppressing. He can see some of the people freezing like the slightest shift would be the last wrong decision of their lives. He’s sure the woman in the row behind them is holding her breath.

If this scary aura can be brought by the mere memory of what happened, how much more terrifying would it have to be there?

There’s a baby a couple of seats before them that starts crying and it snaps Yuuta out of whatever that was, he can hear a collective sigh of relief.

Another moment of silence passes between them. “I would do it again, kill him. Perhaps something is wrong with me, but I don’t care. I’m capable of murder, I have done it before, I just have to it again.”

“Yuuta, you don’t have to force yourself to do it.”

“It’s not that.” He clears his throat and looks down at his hands again. “It’s not that I want to kill them, but if it's not me, then it will be another who does it. Sooner or later, it would have come to this, if I deny now won’t change that I will be ordered to kill some time in the future.”

Isn’t it sad? How a sixteen-year-old already knows for sure that this would be a postposition? Just because of his power, how he has to come to terms he will take another life? how is something that Satoru can’t do anything about?

“Two of the sorcerers were Fourth Grade, Maki is a Fourth Grade. Eight were Grade Two, Inumaki and Panda are Grade Two. I think- I think about them, I think of them as a bloodied indistinguishable mass under Geto Suguru, I think about them, lifeless and cold and eyeless and dead and I can’t─” Yuuta’s voice breaks and drops his head into his hands.

Satoru puts his hand on Yuuta’s back and rubs it in circles, doesn’t say anything, sometimes the best comfort is silence and he feels like that’s the case in this situation. It’s not like he can say anything that wouldn’t be a lie.

It’s a valid fear, it’s a fear that every sorcerer has in their youth. Death is a too common reality in this world, where every time someone is assigned a mission you have to cope with the possibility that they might not come back. How sorcerers beg and beg and pray that ‘please let it not be Sakura, everyone but Sakura, please don’t take Sakura too.’

(Satoru remembers begging once.)

Sorcerers avoid the morgue like the plague, can’t help but see their friend’s faces in the bodies, can’t help but see themselves there. It’s hard, seeing destroyed people grabbing a corpse’s hand, hard to picture yourself like that. It was hard to see Nanami like that. It was harder to be the one seeing your partner's lifeless body.

(Satoru can’t let Shoko cremate him, can’t let her destroy him, even when it’s just an empty shell, hurts too much, the thought of him disappearing completely. Shoko feels the same, with how little argument she had put, with how her hand wouldn’t stop searching for a pulse.)

But somehow, he thinks, it will be harder for Yuuta. He cares too much, he feels too much, his friends are the most valuable treasure he has, he cares about what they care about, even if he doesn’t understand why. His breakdown here solidifies it. Rika herself was the tangible proof of how much he cares.

Unrealistically, Satoru wishes that he never will have to see Yuuta’s reaction to a friend in the morgue. Satoru knows it will hurt like hell when it happens, can picture the heart-wrenching scream Yuuta will let out when he sees them.

He doesn’t know how much time they spent like that, with Yuuta’s ragged breaths and Satoru rubbing circles in his back, but eventually, he straightens. His eyes are watery but Satoru doesn’t think he cried.

“I will.” He says with a quiver in his voice. “I will carry on with the execution.”

Satoru hadn’t told Yuuta about the Binding Vow, mainly because he didn’t want to have his decision made based on it. But now that he is certain what he will do Satoru doesn’t have any reserves in telling him.

To be honest, he would have rather had Yuuta sleeping the rest of the ride to Shizuoka, but the kid had stubbornly denied that option. Even with Satoru’s constant prodding that ‘Yuuta you should save energy’ and assurance that ‘I will wake you up when we arrive, pinky promise.’

The last part is a dirty lie though if Yuuta managed to fall asleep Satoru wouldn’t wake him up. He really wants his student to rest as much as possible, so he would just carry him to the hotel. It's something that he has done with Megumi plenty of times so he knows how to maneuver with a deadweight without dropping them. Their baggage would have been a problem but Satoru would find a way around it.

“Yaga doesn’t fucking answer, why isn’t he answering?” Satoru curses and dials again. “What’s more important than his favorite ex-student calling him?”

“He’s probably busy, he is the director after all.” Voicemail again, fucking hell, Satoru might teleport to the school at this rate and ask him in person. He will do it, he swears, he will find a way to come back to Yuuta after, somehow. “Why don’t you try with Maki?”

“Has me blocked.” Which, rude. The lady's voice telling him to call later comes again and Satoru almost throws his phone to the floor. He opens the chat and starts spamming it again. “Before you ask, Inumaki had a mission today so he isn’t with him.”

Not to say that Inumaki has him blocked too.

Satoru knows he said that he wanted Yuuta to sleep but now he is really, really glad the kid didn’t. It’s past noon, they haven’t eaten anything and somehow they ended up in an almost deserted street. There are empty buildings everywhere except for a cheap-looking bar down below and a sex shop. It had been funny, at first but at the fourth time, the sign Sex and Sexy (awful name if you ask Satoru) had greeted them it started to get annoying.

“Why don’t you google the name of the hotel?” Yuuta asks, not for the first time. “Use Google Maps or something.”

“No, no, no Yuuta, you can’t let yourself rely on technology that much. Back in my day─” Yuuta lets out an exasperated sigh and lies down on the sidewalk. “Don’t be like that, if you are so set on it, why don’t you google it then?”

“My phone is dead.”

“Maybe if you didn’t spend the night playing with it, it would have lasted more.” Satoru gives up on the chat, he calls again.

“I charged it, it's just that the battery doesn’t last. It’s not like you have told me the hotel name either way.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“You don’t know where we are staying?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Yuuta opens his mouth but Satoru keeps talking. “Before you ask, Yaga was the one who made the reservation, he forgot to tell me where we are staying.”

The last part may or may not be a lie.

Yuuta doesn’t seem convinced. “Uh, not Ijichi?”

“He was busy, and this is a confidential mission, the less who know the better. It includes specific details like where we are staying, Yaga is an exception because he is one of his students.”

“So Director Yaga knows about all the missions we go to?”

“Pretty much, until you graduate.” Is Yaga deliberately ignoring him? “Yuuta, why don’t you go ask for directions?”

“Where?”

Satoru looks at both sides, there's not a single soul. The place looks haunted and Satoru has seen a lot of haunted places in his life. "Walk a little until you find somebody or something."

“That's─ I don't think is a good idea.”

“What are you talking about? It's an excellent idea! It's not like I can go asking for directions." The risk of running into a curse sorcerer is there, and that would count as intervention, which, is bad. "Afraid you are going to get lost?”

Yuuta sighs, a hand going to rub his eyes and murmurs something that Satoru doesn't manage to catch. “What was that?"

“Nothing.” Yuuta says, suspiciously fast. "Have you tried calling Panda?"

“Panda has a phone?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t have it.” Why does Satoru not have it? There shouldn’t be a reason for Panda not to give his beloved teacher his number.

“Yeah, he doesn’t want you to have it.”

How fucking rude.

Yuuta dictates Panda’s number (which, weird, who actually knows each other's number these days?) and Satoru immediately saves it before calling. He switches to speaker and a couple of rings sound in which Satoru thinks he won’t pick up and that they will have to sleep on the street, not the first time Satoru would have done it but it's not a pleasant experience, last time he got mugged because Shoko couldn't be bothered to keep watch.

‘Hello?’

Oh! Wonderful, he did pick up. “Care to explain why you don't want your beloved teacher to have your number?”

‘I’m hanging up.’

“Wait!” Yuuta stands up and almost rips the phone out of Satoru’s hands. “Panda, please, I haven't eaten something ever since yesterday! Please, don't hang up, I'm dying.”

‘What the fuck?’

“I would appreciate if you didn’t yell in my ear Yuuta” he can hear Maki’s faint voice asking ‘who is it’ on the other line, “Is Yaga with you?”

‘No, what was that about Yuuta dying?’

“Unimportant, is Yaga in the school?”

‘Yeah, do you want me to get him?’

“Please.” it’s Yuuta who answers this time, and the kid looks like he might cry from relief.

There are some noises on the other line. ‘I told you that I didn’t want Gojo to get my number, Yuuta.’

“Sorry, it’s kind of an emergency.”

“Why don’t you want me to have your number?”

Panda ignores him, Satoru would be hurt if he wasn't used to it. ‘What happened?’

Time passes with Yuuta and Panda talking between them while completely ignoring Satoru. It's really horrible, ignoring the great Gojo Satoru, their teacher, he feels left out, but Yuuta seems more content ever since this mission started so he lets it slide.

God, he is such a great teacher.

Panda finally reaches wherever Yaga is with a 'Gojo got lost.' and Satoru can picture the exasperated sigh Yaga lets out.

‘Satoru.’ His voice is full of dissapointment. 'Where are you?'

“Well, first, why aren’t you answering my calls?”

‘Satoru.’

“It is important! Do you know how much time I tried to call you? Do you hate me so much? It breaks my heart, knowing─”

‘Where.’

“We would like to know too.” Oh, yeah, that reminds him. "So, um, in another nothe, what was the name of the hotel again?

Satoru thinks that with how much time Yaga spent berating him instead of actually helping, he is in his total right to be pissed at him. Yes, Satoru may have gotten them lost in the first place. Yes, Satoru may have forgotten the name of the place. But if Yaga had just told him the name and the directions and hung up, they would have got way earlier to the hotel.

He just took five minutes, they could have ended the call in five minutes. Instead, Yaga spent one hour or more with ‘You have to listen to me, Satoru' and ‘I made you write the name fifty times, Satoru. How can't you remember?’

In his defense, Satoru forced Ijichi do it for him. Anyway, turns out they had taken the opposite direction since the start and had walked about three hours before Satoru realized they were lost. He will very much skip over the fact that Yuuta realized in the first hour.

Long story short, they arrived at two in the morning at the most generic-looking hotel Satoru has been in his life. The room’s walls are plain white, with two plain white beds, a table between them, and a tv that doesn’t have any audio. Yaga should have let Satoru choose the hotel, he could be in a five-star hotel with a jacuzzi right now.

At least there’s hot water.

Currently, he’s killing time while Yuuta finishes questioning people. Satoru can’t help with it, would count as an intervention, and just watching Yuuta investigating where the big bad guys are hiding got boring very fast.

Satoru is supposed to be overseeing but there are more interesting things to do, furthermore, is not Yuuta’s first research and detain mission, he knows what to do. How he didn’t ask Satoru his opinion on how he should go is a clear indicator of it. Yes, Satoru is aware this is not a research and detain but research and execute, but the bases are the same and he specifically told Yuuta to report back to him when he discovers their hiding spot.

He doesn’t want Yuuta to go alone.

But! That’s a worry for way later (not really), for now, Satoru has to decide what movie to watch.

On average, a mission where a curse user is involved takes significantly longer than one that doesn’t. Mainly because curses focus on hurting and killing people, generally in a pattern and in the same place, it’s just a matter of figuring where they are and the similarities of the victims. Sometimes, that information is already given so the mission is only exorcising.

Curse users, besides having more intelligence than curses (which are basically animalistic with few exceptions) don’t stay in one place and they try everything in order to not be discovered. So, with this in mind, Satoru expects that at least a week will pass before Yuuta gets his hands on information that actually helps.

The probability that they will make contact with the group in Shizuoka is extremely low, if anything, this is a mission that normal sorcerers would finish in one month and that’s just if things go extremely well.

Yuuta is not normal sorcerer though.

Satoru is obliterating a random kid in Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade when he receives a text, which Satoru is certain is from Yuuta, mostly because all his other contacts have him blocked or just don’t text him at all, not as Suguru did. On second thought it could be Tsumiki, Yuuta has yet to text him since he started the investigation.

His phone vibrates again, but the song is about to end, Satoru will not lose his perfect combo for checking his phone and like hell he’s letting the kid win. Ah, fuck, he missed five. Satoru wanted the perfect score but he conforms to beating the kid. He takes out his phone and refuses the kid’s pleadings of a rematch, sticks his tongue out at him instead.

It is from Yuuta, direct and to the point, he could have at least said hello first. He’s about to reply a ‘yes, Yuuta, I’m fine, doing great, thanks for asking, and u?’ until his brain catches up to what he said. What the fuck, Yuuta already captured one of them? So fast?

It’s been barely three days since they arrived. He calls him and he picks up in the first ring. “Yes, Yuuta, I can ─hold on there’s a kid crying here─ as I was saying I can interact with who you detain, why?”

‘I have one of them─’

“Where are you?” Satoru gets on top of a building, he raises his blindfold a little and starts jumping from place to place, quickly scanning streets. He distantly hears Yuuta asking him if he should ask for directions or something when he notes the flow of curse energy in a dark alley that undeniably comes from Yuuta, he hangs up and in a second he is behind Yuuta.

“Gojo? Hello? Hi? He hung up…”

“Well!” Satoru speaks as loudly as he can and pats Yuuta’s arm, he chuckles slightly at the jump Yuuta does. “What do we have here?”

Yuuta wordlessly lifts the girl from the back of her shirt for Satoru to have a better look at her. Satoru raises his blindfold a little once again and lets a hum of satisfaction, she has quite the amount. “Any idea of who she is?”

“Hirano Ayaka.” One of the big fishes, didn’t expect less from Yuuta. “People some blocks away said they had seen a woman fitting her description multiple times since last week. So, I arrived earlier today hoping she would appear, as you can see she did.”

“What’s up with the place?”

“There was a gun shop in the street, her technique required bullets to work better, she was buying every single one there was.” To make a point Yuuta opens his hand to show him some bullets imbued with curse energy. “Other than that? Nothing of note.”

Satoru picks one of the bullets and inspects it closer. “Did one of this hit you?”

“No, but when I cut one in half it exploded though.”

“Exploded, uh.” Satoru throws one of the bullets at the floor to see, and as expected, it explodes too. “I see, her technique, in reality, is to make her cursed energy turn into little bombs. The bullet is only there to make it more deadly. Either way, she must use it extremely well for her to get categorized as a Grade One, reminds me of Mei Mei in a sense… Did she give you any problems?”

“She bolted as soon as she saw me, and having bullets constantly thrown at me while chasing her for half an hour wasn’t the best.”

Satoru laughs at the displaced tone. “Well, with her here you have hit jackpot, we only have to interrogate her about where they are hiding now.”

“Oh, um, about that, I already know.” Yuuta is one surprise after another one.

“Did Ayaka here tell you?”

“Uh, yeah.” Satoru looks Yuuta up and down, his hands aren’t covered in red, but his white jacket has red stains. If he didn’t get hit with any of Ayaka’s bullets then the blood in his jacket can’t be his, unless he got hurt through another way while chasing her. Yuuta is not as clumsy as he was before, definitely would not fall down during a fight now, so it can’t be possible.

It must be Ayaka’s blood.

Did Yuuta torture Ayaka?

Satoru turns at her, he can’t see any wounds on her but with Yuuta’s Reverse Cursed Technique that isn’t a surprise. There’s blood in her clothes too, so Yuuta definitely healed her. She is unconscious, and to capture her she had to put up a fight. If the blood is just for the fight or for torture Satoru can’t tell.

“We will go tomorrow then, I think it would be better for you to rest. We don’t know how strong the curse users are but better have you fully recharged, don't you think?” Yuuta doesn’t seem perturbed or haunted in the slightest, he doesn’t seem any different really, it puts on doubt if he did something to her.

Or this isn’t Yuuta’s first time doing it. Satoru wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

Torture, in the sorcerer world, is not uncommon, you have to get answers somehow and most of the time there isn’t a user of cursed speech to pray the answers without violence. Satoru himself has tortured people before.

Cursed speech, uh, now that he thinks about it, Yuuta could have just used it. He has shown him before, conjured the megaphone, and gave an order with it. It was the first time Satoru had experienced the effects of that technique (much to Inumaki’s displeasure, the things the white-haired boy would have him do if he could) with a ‘sit down’, if Yuuta’s cursed speech was able to make Gojo Satoru himself obey, this woman didn’t have a chance if the kid had asked her where they were hiding.

But Yuuta is still working on it and has admitted that it was hard using it, something about being hard to focus on it due to how the curse energy was released. The curse energy surrounding him doesn’t seem any different, but then again when he’s practicing with it his energy flows the same as how big it is. There isn’t a way for Satoru to know if used it or not.

Yuuta must have done something to her, there isn’t way Ayaka just told him, the question here is what did he do? If this was the Yuuta that first entered the school, there is no doubt that he wouldn’t have tortured her, but now, with this Yuuta that has grown and developed so much, that has agreed to be an executioner, Satoru doesn’t know.

Damn, now he’s kind of wishing he had exercised his job of supervisor correctly.

“Okay, what will we do with her? I doubt the hotel employers will let us get an unconscious woman covered in blood through the lobby.”

“Here, my dear long-lost cousin, is where the assistants enter.” He quickly texts one of the assistants the higher-ups assigned to be in the zone and is satisfied with the fast reply. “One of them will be here shortly, they will take her to the school immediately.”

Not five minutes later, a black car appears and one assistant with pink hair gets out. They confirm Ayaka’s identity and puts her like twenty different seals before taking her in their arms. Satoru watches as the assistant gets her in the backseat after breaking both of her legs, and rides off.

“Will they be fine on their own with her?”

“The seals are of very strong quality, they wouldn’t send someone who doesn’t know how to use them correctly. She won’t be able to escape with her legs broken either.” Taking a look at his phone, he is surprised to see that it’s half-past seven, time sure passes fast. “Are you hungry, Yuuta?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“Well! Do you have anything in mind? Your wonderful teacher will make sure you have it!”

“I don’t really crave anything, I’m fine with anything you choose.”

“No, no, no, that won’t do Yuuta, and take off your jacket, your katana on the back, and being covered in blood won’t help your image at all.”

They end up at a sushi place, mostly because Yuuta couldn’t decide what to eat and it was the first thing he saw related to food. Satoru isn’t complaining though, contrary to how the place looked, the food was good.

Fast forward to the hotel and he does something that gives him flashbacks of parenting the Fushiguros. “Alright, Yuuta, hand over your phone.”

Yuuta raises his head up from the pillow and the look he receives is full of confusion. “Wait, what?”

“You heard me, I want you to actually try to sleep tonight.”

“I have been trying, is that I just,” Yuuta does some random movement with his hands “Can’t”

“It’s not really an attempt when you give up in the first thirty minutes and go do whatever you do on your phone.”

Yuuta at least looked somewhat guilty. “I will put it to charge, you don’t have to take it.”

“You will just wait for me to fall asleep before you take it, I have seen that trick before Yuuta.” Megumi had been a nightmare with it, especially because he didn’t think twice about making one of his animals get his phone from where Satoru had it. Tsumiki too, but she hid it under the pillow. “I will put it to charge.”

The kid has not been sleeping at all these days, Satoru always wakes up seeing him on his phone, if he isn’t out by the time he gets into the room, which, admittedly, is pretty late. Yuuta looks at his extended hand, then back at Satoru and to his phone. “I will tickle you into giving in, don’t think I won’t” He threatens.

“It’s still early, can’t I have it a little bit longer?”

“Yuuta, it’s past midnight.”

“Still early.” Satoru moves his fingers threateningly and takes a step forward, then another, and then another. Yuuta recognizes this is a lost fight, turns it off, and gives it with a sigh.

He can feel his fingers burn a little. “How much do you use this?” Yuuta doesn’t answer and that’s all he needs to know.

Satoru turns off the lights and gets into bed. Overall, that was easier than he expected, but, then again, his references of it are Megumi, who fights tooth and nail and once fucking bitten him; Tsumiki who is good at hiding if she’s using it or not; and Satoru himself, along with Shoko and Suguru. But Yuuta is a good kid, so really, what could he have expected?

Thrashing around, over and over, apparently. At one point Yuuta stands up and does something with his pillows and lays down again. Satoru dozes off for intervals and every time he awakes there’s movement from Yuuta’s bed. There’s one time, around five in the morning when Satoru doesn’t hear anything.

Did he fall asleep? There’s one way of knowing, but Satoru is afraid of waking the kid up. He spends five minutes just listening to Yuuta breathe, should he see? The kid doesn’t move a bit and his breathing is constant.

Satoru is, at the end of the day, a very curious person.

Slowly, so, so slowly, he gets up from his bed and winces at every single crack the bed makes. Why are the sounds so loud? In normal circumstances, he would be making as much noise as possible, unless he was trying to sneak off. This is giving him a sense of deja-vu, or nostalgia? What’s the difference? Whatever, the situation is similar to his school days, back when he sneaked off with Suguru to bother Shoko. Good times.

Finally, he’s standing up and gets closer to the other’s bed in two quick strides and peers. Yuuta is, in fact, asleep. He is sleeping on his side, his back turned against Satoru, and there’s a bunch of pillows in his bed. Uh, there’s more than usual, Satoru turns to see his own bed and realizes that at one point, Yuuta hijacked almost all his pillows.

There’s a furrow between his eyebrows, which makes Satoru believe that he is not having a pleasant dream. There’s something with how the pillows are positioned that’s bothering him too. Yuuta’s not hugging any of the pillows on his bed, his head is in one and the rest are surrounding him. Kind of, most of them are at his back. If anything it’s like the pillows are hugging Yuuta.

Satoru sucks in a sharp breath.

It’s more like he’s being spooned.

Like Yuuta’s being spooned by something far bigger than him. Protectitibly watching over him while he sleeps. There’s a big pillow thrown over him, too, instead of a blanket, horizontally, and if it is what Satoru thinks it is, that would be the replacement of an arm, a far larger arm hugging him that could never belong to a human.

Rika really did love Yuuta with her whole being.

Satoru knew, of course, how could he not? Both Yuuta’s and Rika’s love for one another was so deep and raw that made her prevail after her death. The incredible protectiveness Rika had, the sheer adoration Yuuta had, how even after she had become grotesque and monstrous, Yuuta’s love had not decreased one bit.

But love, it’s also found in the small things, a look, a touch, a sigh. For a display of love so innocent and tender to be displayed this way in front of Satoru…

Rika and Yuuta used to sleep together.

For six years, Rika had cuddled with Yuuta. For six years, Yuuta had let her. For six years, to share your space with another person when you are at your most vulnerable. For six years, to have a constant warmth with you, an assurance ‘I’m here, I love you.’

For one day, suddenly be gone.

It’s no wonder Yuuta hadn’t been able to sleep well. How he doesn’t want to sleep. It’s a constant reminder his love is not there anymore. How his heart must ache for her, Satoru can’t imagine.

(Or, perhaps he can, and Suguru and his laugh pop in his mind.)

When you think of a villain’s lair, you expect a lot of things, personally, Satoru thinks of the room where the higher-ups decide to hold meetings. But on a more generic level, he expects somewhere ominous, with bad illumination for cool factors, a big ass table, and a bunch of chairs where they hold his evil reunions for his evil plans.

He doesn’t expect a tea house.

Of all things? Seriously? A dusty old tea house? Seems being a curse user doesn’t pay well. Even the sex shop seemed better maintained than whatever that was. In the past, Satoru is sure it was a wealthy place, the place is huge after all. But now, it looks like the lightest wind would knock it over.

But, according to Yuuta, dear old Ayaka said it was here where they were hiding, and that at one they held his evil reunions. Ayaka didn’t lie if the bunch of people going in and the different flows coming from inside were anything to go by.

The mood between them seems dull today, mainly, because of Yuuta, which Satoru can’t blame him. The kid doesn't stop messing with his ring. “Whatever you choose to do, just want to remind you, you have my support.” Yuuta takes some time but nods at this, his eyes never leaving the tea house for one second.

The clock finally marks half-past one and it’s Yuuta’s indicator to start. “Ten people minimum, right?” It’s more to himself than to Satoru, but he confirms it anyway.

“Do you remember how to put the curtain?”

“Just focus on what I want it to do, not let anyone out.” Satoru nods, and takes some steps back, not before ruffling the kid’s hair a little. Yuuta sighs and starts the incantation “Emerge from the darkness, blacker than darkness. Purify that which is impure."

A black spot forms in the air and falls at an uncanny speed to the ground, if this was another sorcerer, Satoru would have thought that his curtain was extremely weak. But as it is Yuuta, this speed is basically the standard. Better yet, it won’t give the curse users inside react until it’s too late. They won’t be able to get out either.

The kid disappears before his eyes to a black mass, and all that Satoru can do now is wait. So he sits down. He thinks of calling some assistant now, so they can assemble a group and be here by the time Yuuta finishes, but Satoru doesn’t know if he should say that they had to do clean-up or detention. The people who they would send would be different depending on their situation, he might say detention and if it turns out not to be that, well, anyone can pick up dead bodies.

And then he freezes.

It’s such a strange action, a strange word in his mouth, but there isn’t another way to see it. Gojo Satoru completely freezes.

It’s not hate, what comes from there, at least Satoru doesn’t think it is. Hate feels more erratic, a slash of emotion upon another, doesn’t let you think clearly, makes the whole space surrounding you hotter and hotter and suffocating.

No, Satoru wouldn’t call this hate. It’s just killing intent. There’s no emotion behind it, not a single one. No hate, no remorse, no guilt, no anger, no pleasure. Nothing he would attribute to another sorcerer. It’s the first time Satoru has felt such a thing with no feeling behind it. He can feel the pressure in his body, and it’s similar to what he felt on the train with Yuuta but at the same time not.

There was hate in the train, there was a killing intent to someone that was not there, but not enough, not to this extent.

This is far more terrifying.

The irrational thought that if he moves he will die pops into his head and Satoru has to laugh about it, he? getting killed? it’s so, so surreal to think, so ridiculous, that Satoru stands up and starts walking. Look at me, I’m moving, I’m alive.

This feeling of elation, of lightheadedness over someone else's power, when was the last time he felt it? Fushiguro Toji. The one who managed to kill him, the one who actually managed to injure him. The guy who didn’t have any power. Satoru decides that one day, he would want to fight Yuuta.

If this is what Yuuta can do, what he can cause in people just with his sheer intent, with one year of training, Satoru can’t even imagine what he will be like in five years or less.

He thinks about December 24th, Yuuta killing intent filled with hate, and wonders if Suguru froze, too. If it was more terrifying than this. He knows his students did, remembers Panda telling him what it felt like, so suffocating that he couldn’t breathe, so heavy it felt like getting crushed under a building, erratic, hot and cold at the same time, how he couldn’t tell the difference from Rika and Yuuta, how Yuuta could have been scarier than her.

Satoru has yet to stop walking, he sends a quick text to an assistant about the clean-up team and keeps walking.

Inumaki too, although in less detail, passing out to the words 'I'll fucking kill you!' that gives him nightmares from time to time.

Satoru gulps.

No, this isn’t hate, this is calculated, calm in a sense, making the whole space get so cold that it doesn't give you anything other to do than to freeze. To see your killer’s eyes and see nothing but darkness there, how terrifying must that be?

A monster, that’s what the higher-ups called Yuuta, once. He didn’t disagree, Satoru after all is a monster too.

Satoru stops walking.

As sudden as it was when it appeared, as suddenly it went away. Yuuta has finished, he notes and watches the curtain disappear. There are some bodies outside the tea house, Satoru can count at least four, tried to run away, he thinks. He gets closer and can see the quick slashes of a katana in their necks. The blood turned the grass red.

He enters the tea house and if it was once beautiful it won’t be anymore. Broken porcelain, Shoji tore completely down, broken windows, there are slashes from a katana in the walls and in the floor. The whole place has turned completely red.

There’s a bunch of bodies everywhere, in this room, there are three, a hole where his heart used to beat, an open stomach, and one bled out, with the ones outside, they make seven. He keeps walking and sees another four in the corridor, uh, that makes eleven.

A door opens in the back of that corridor and Yuuta comes out of it. He is carrying someone by the back of the shirt again, Satoru can see the slow breaths coming from him, just unconscious then.

He looks Yuuta up and down, his katana is in his right hand, still sheathed and covered in red, a slow drip drip drip coming out from it, staining the floor red. There’s blood covering Yuuta, can’t see it in his pants, as they are black, but can see how Yuuta’s white jacket has been dyed red completely.

There isn’t a single cut in Yuuta.

Back in the room where he just came out, there’s two more, that makes thirteen. The kid ended up killing more than was expected of him.

“Let’s go.” Satoru softly says and Yuuta nods as a response, he lets the kid walk ahead of him and sees that the back of his jacket is red too. There isn’t a single spot of white in his jacket anymore. The thought makes Satoru irrationally sad.

The clean-up team has already started with the bodies outside, and he can see some of them stop at the sight of Yuuta. Another assistant, old and wrinkly with the passage of time, gets closer and takes the guy from Yuuta’s hand and goes.

Satoru gets out of the tea house and turns to look when Yuuta bends down. He’s grabbing some shoes from where they rest outside. “Yuuta, what are you doing?”

He turns at him, and says, almost like a question and in such an innocent way that doesn’t add up on how he’s currently looking. “Putting my shoes on?”

Satoru can’t help it, he laughs at that.

They arrive at the hotel shortly after, Yuuta’s jacket getting burned by some assistant. The kid makes a direct line to the shower, Satoru expects him to be there for a long time, but just fifteen minutes later, he’s out of there.

Satoru turns on the TV without audio, just to offer some distraction, and all in all, Yuuta doesn’t seem to be handling it that badly. He doesn’t wash his hands until his hands bleed like Suguru did. He doesn’t try to buy half the beer in a convenience store, and drink it in one go like Shoko did. He doesn’t cry, doesn’t tear his hair out, doesn’t do anything Satoru has seen other sorcerers do.

He stares at his hands from time to time and that’s that.

They spent hours in silence, watching someone probably declaring her love, or breaking down. It’s hard to know without audio. Satoru is surprised to see the sky completely black.

“How─” Yuuta suddenly says, and his attention snaps back to him, he’s still looking at his hand. “How did you feel?”

Yuuta doesn’t have to elaborate for Satoru to know what he is talking about. How did you feel the first time you killed a group of people? Satoru thinks, how did he feel? “To be honest with you, I don’t know. The first time I did it, I felt so much, but at the same time so little that I don’t know what I was feeling.”

Satoru thinks about it a little more. “But, if I had to put a name on it… Weird. It was weird.”

Yuuta stays in silence for a moment and quietly says. “I don’t feel guilty ─I don’t think I feel guilty─ is that wrong?”

Guilt, uh. “No, you did what you had to do. Whatever you are feeling, Yuuta, it’s okay, that includes the lack of feeling.”

“But I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

“That’s okay too. You have time to figure it out.” (“It’s just the summer stress. I’m fine.”) “And you can talk to people about it, there’s me, there’s Shoko, there are your friends. If you ever feel like falling off, or just want to talk to people, there are people there for you, who care about you.”

(Sometimes, Satoru wonders what would have changed if Suguru knew it. Sometimes, Satoru wonders what would have changed if he cared enough back then, if Yaga, if Shoko, if anyone, cared enough.)

“It doesn’t feel real, like, I know what I did but I just… can’t seem to comprehend.”

“Well, it’s a lot to take in.”

They stay in silence, again, just watching a random woman scream at her husband, well he thinks it is her husband. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it right now, but you can’t bottle it up.”

“Okay.” Then. “I want to sleep.”

Satoru turns off the TV, and wonders if Yuuta will be able to. He doesn’t doze off this time, painfully aware of everything that happens around him, the kid again, thrashes around, over and over again. Can’t seem to settle in.

“Hey, Yuuta.”

“Yeah?”

“Did Rika used to sleep with you?”

Perhaps not the best moment to be bringing it up, but Satoru's best method of coping is distraction, it works well with him so perhaps it can be useful to Yuuta. Anything to keep his mind wandering off to cold bodies and the feeling of blood in his hands.

There’s a hitch of breath at his right, and Satoru thinks Yuuta will close off, but Yuuta is always full of surprises because he eventually replies with a quiet “Yes.”

“Alright, come here.” It’s a perfect solution, that at least Satoru hopes will work a little, he raises his arm, raising the blanket and all with it.

He can see Yuuta stare through the darkness, perks of having six eyes and all. “I’m fine, you don’t have to bother with that, um, I will just stop moving.”

“It’s not a bother, Yuuta, hurry up.” Yuuta doesn’t move at all, God, kids can be so stubborn, but so can be Satoru, he refuses to put his hand down. “Just for tonight Yuuta.”

Satoru knows it will help the kid. Knows Yuuta wants, yearns, a type of connection with other people, that he treasures small things. In a situation like this, what someone wants more is normality, there was nothing that could be called normal with Rika, but to Yuuta, she was her normal.

Also, who doesn’t like being spooned?

His arm it’s starting to get tired, though. “Yuuta if you don’t come I will go to your bed, don’t think I won’t.”

Yuuta doesn’t stop staring, opens his mouth and closes it again, wants to say something but doesn’t know what. Perhaps it is for sleep deprivation, perhaps from the day he just had, or a combination of both that makes Yuuta get up from his bed and hesitantly walk towards him.

“Um, should I─”

“Just get in.” Slowly, he gets under the covers and Satoru winces at the feeling of Yuuta’s still damp hair against his arm. The kid doesn’t relax though, he is still as a statue, Satoru doesn’t think he’s breathing at all. “How was it?”

“What?”

“Sleeping with Rika.”

It’s something that Satoru doesn’t think Yuuta would be willing to talk about in the light of the day, but right now, with his back turned against him, hidden from the world, he lets the words come out. “Weird. It was weird, Rika didn’t have body temperature so it wasn’t warm in the slightest, she was heavy, but she always made sure to not crush me. I never actually knew if she did sleep, or if it was just to lie down with me.”

“You liked it?”

Yuuta considers it. “Yes.”

Satoru doesn’t give a reply to that, just listens to the soft tick tock tick tock coming from the clock and Yuuta’s breath. “I was scared of her, at first, but Rika always stared at me. I had a nightmare, one day, couldn’t get back to sleep and she just hugged me and I let her, she never stopped after it.”

“And─ and it was fine. She was huge and cold, but her weight was reassuring. I─ she talked to me, sometimes, just ‘I love you’ over and over again, I said it back, sometimes, too.” Yuuta’s voice starts quivering. “I loved her.”

It’s like a dam broke in Yuuta, he keeps going and going, and Satoru wonders how long he’s been bottling this up. “I keep trying to go to sleep, but it’s wrong because Rika’s not there anymore. It’s not just sleeping, it’s everywhere, she’s not in my room anymore, she doesn’t hold my hand along the day, I keep searching for her, trying to lean into her but I can’t, I can’t because she’s not here anymore.”

Satoru never tried, never dared, to try and put into words what he felt after that day in Shinjuku. (“Why did you not chase him?”) Because if he did he would, he would have to accept that Suguru was gone, forever, that his departure affected him more than he admits.

But now, hearing Yuuta, Satoru doesn’t need to do it, the kid’s already doing it for him. Satoru never stopped searching for Suguru, keeps trying to text him, keeps buying things that he might like just to remember that he couldn’t give it to him, keeps leaving a space in the table for him, keeps leaning to his right hoping someone is leaning to his left, keeps waiting for him to come back.

(“At least curse at me a little at the very end…)

But he’s not here anymore.

There’s a sting in his eyes that Satoru doesn’t like one bit.

He puts a hand on Yuuta's head, offering silent comfort. “I miss her. I miss her so much.”

“I─” Yuuta’s voice breaks. “I just want her back, it’s that wrong?”

Satoru sighs and his heart hurts for this kid. “No, it’s not wrong. You spent six years of your life with her, it would be weird if you didn’t miss her, it’s not wrong of you to want her back.”

(It’s not wrong because I also want my best friend back.)

Yuuta turns around and hides his face in Satoru’s pajama shirt, holds it like a lifeline. He starts hiccuping and Satoru realizes that the kid's been crying. He hugs him a little tighter and thinks before he says. “Love is the most twisted curse of them all, but Yuuta, loving is not a sin.”

It breaks something in Yuuta because the kid starts sobbing, erratic sobs that borderline in screams. They will probably have some noise complaints tomorrow, but Satoru has never given a damn about them, he’s not going to start now.

Yuuta has always cared too much, loved too much, a person full of feeling can be something so tragically beautiful in this fucked-up world, (Suguru was, once.) but that care can make their life's turn into a living hell, Satoru just hopes the kid can live through it. So, he lets the kid scream himself hoarse, lets his feelings spill in the quietness of the room.

He thinks, with Yuuta sobs in the background, how it would feel to have someone in your life for so long, to be in perfect synchrony, to have so much adoration for them, just for the world to rip them out of your life one day. Twice.

(“Kill me if you want, there’s a meaning to that.”)

Suguru pops into his mind, again, and Satoru thinks. He had known Suguru for three years before he faded, and Satoru will not admit it, more than to himself, that it felt like a piece of himself being torn off. Suguru had come into his life, and in such a short amount of time, he became a crucial part of it, just to go away with a part of Satoru in his hands.

He will never get that part back.

He looks down at Yuuta, at his weeping eyes and his screaming mouth. If he had known Suguru all his life...

He won’t think about that, can’t think about that.

Eventually, Yuuta stops screaming, going back to crying in silence. Hesitantly, he starts. “Gojo, you…”

“What is it?”

“You seem, um, like you know much about it, and…”

Ah, so that's what it is, well, Yuuta already spilled his heart’s contents, it’s only fair that Satoru shows some of his. “It’s nothing special, I have a best friend, you see. He’s the one and only one that I will ever have.”

“The one who found my ID?”

“Yep! The one and only.”

“What happened to him?”

“The sorcerer world is not a kind place, Yuuta. When I realized he was already gone.”

“Did he died?”

The sting behind his eyes is back, more insistent this time. “Yeah, he died shortly after returning your ID.”

Yuuta stays in silence, and Satoru thinks he’s done, he hears him yawn and thinks he fell asleep. After a moment, with sleepness in his tone, and still sniffing, he asks. “Did you love him, then?”

“Of course I did, he’s my best friend.”

“No, not like that. Did you love him?” It takes a moment for Satoru to get the difference, ‘Did you love him like I love Rika?’ and Satoru is about to say no, not like that, but.

But…

He’s here, listening to Yuuta talk about his lost love and relating in so many ways. He’s here, aching for Suguru since he went away. He’s here, not letting Shoko cremate him.

(“We’re the strongest.”)

Oh.

(“Besides, you’re here too.”)

Oh.

(“It’s because I trusted you.”)

Satoru is a fucking idiot.

“Yes.” His voice quivers and he’s grateful that Yuuta doesn’t mention it.

“I see.”

And Satoru realizes that the part that was torn off from him, was no other than his heart. Suguru had come into his life, and in such a short amount of time, he became a crucial part of it, just to go away with Satoru’s heart in his hands.

He will never get his heart back.

His eyes sting so much, and when Satoru blinks he can feel tears falling from his eyes. “Yuuta.”

“Yeah?”

“How do you know if someone loves you back?”

Yuuta stays in silence, deep in thought. “It depends on the person, but it’s on their actions, I guess. How they look for you, how much time they want to spend with you, care, trust, joy, all that. I would say it’s on the words, but not everyone is as vocal as Rika.”

Satoru thinks and thinks, Suguru, even in his last moments, never betrayed his trust. He never used their friendship as a weapon when he went away. He goes back to his school days and remembers, Suguru was always there, they had disagreements but was never enough to separate them. Suguru had looked for him and had pulled him up after Fushiguro Toji’s fight.

Sharing food, sharing bed, buying souvenirs, being in perfect synchronization. There’s so much to take from, but nothing conclusive. If Suguru was in love with Satoru, he will never know, he took the answer to the grave.

His eyes burn, he looks down to Yuuta and is pleasantly surprised to see him sleeping, the drooling in his shirt is less than pleasant but he will let it pass. So Satoru closes his eyes and goes to sleep.