Archive of Our Own ^beta

The world had been falling silent. Katsuki had tried everything in his power to keep it from happening but it was of no use, day by day the world became quieter. He could still recall the doctor's visit from middle school. Mitsuki was sick of hearing blaring music from Katsuki’s room each day and his shouts every time she had asked him a simple question.

“He’s losing his hearing,” The doctor said matter-of-fact, not even looking up from the clipboard that held Katsuki’s chart.

“Losing his hearing? What do you mean?” Masaru asked worriedly.

“Well due to the nature of his quirk, the loud explosions are damaging his ears. If he continues at this rate I would say by 16 at the latest his ears will be irreparably damaged.”

“There’s nothing we can do?” Mitsuki asked.

“Unfortunately not. We can’t fix the damage that’s already occurred but Katsuki can stop further damage if he stops using his quirk altogether.”

“That’s not happening!” Katsuki cut in, defiantly crossing his arms.

“Katsuki-” Mitsuki warned.

“How am I supposed to become the number one hero if I can’t use my quirk? I’ll take the risk, it's fine!”

But it wasn’t fine. Three years later, things were far from fine, Katsuki could always feel the dull ache in his ears and tinnitus was a daily occurrence. He hadn’t told anyone of his weakness, the only people that knew were his parents and Katsuki intended to keep it that way. The humiliation of all the pity stares was too much for him.

Why did Katsuki always have to play his music so loud?

Eijiro had lost count of the number of times he had to break into Katsuki’s room to turn down his music, it wouldn’t have been so bad if Katsuki had good taste in music but the vulgar lyrics and bass that you could feel inside of your head was just too much. There were plenty of times that Eijiro had slipped in through the balcony, turned it down, and left. Katsuki didn’t even seem to notice, he just kept working at his desk none the wiser. This time Eijiro thought it would be better to confront him directly, how else would the problem be fixed?

Sighing, Eijiro rolled out of bed and trudged next door, he took one final breath preparing himself for the argument that was about to ensue and pounded on the door. Nothing. “Come on man, I know you can hear me,” Eijiro muttered and continued pounding at the door. After a minute he just let himself in.

While the walls were thin, they must’ve been thicker than Eijiro realized because it was even louder in here. How in the world can Katsuki work on homework with the music blaring like this? Eijiro walked over to the speaker Katsuki was using and turned it off completely. Katsuki didn’t even look up, just continued to tap his pencil to the rhythm that was now gone.

“Kats you really need to turn your music down man,” Eijiro laughed but it soon died out when Katsuki didn’t respond. “Kats?” He said a little louder. Tentatively, Eijiro took a step towards Katsuki and placed his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. Katsuki bolted out of his chair and pinned Eijiro to the ground.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, sneaking up on me like that?” He spat, letting his hand drop so he didn’t accidentally explode Eijiro’s face off.

“Sneaking up on you? I shouted your name like five times!”

Katsuki looked at him, confused, then looked towards his speaker, the lights that danced with each song were off. “You turned my speaker off?”

“Yeah,” Eijiro grunted, pushing Katsuki off of him. Heat formed on Katsuki’s face and he turned away, walking over to the speaker. “I couldn’t think and I was sick of sneaking into your room to turn down your music.

Katsuki clutched the speaker to his chest then let it hang loosely. “Can you go?”

The question threw Eijiro off and he glanced between Katsuki and the speaker. What is up with him today? “Kats, is everything alright with you?”

Katsuki’s answer took too long in Eijiro’s opinion. Katsuki put the speaker back on the table and straightened up, trying to look more like his usual confident self.

“Eijiro leave.”

His tone was more commanding than before but it still wavered. Eijiro raised an eyebrow but decided not to push it. He’d tell me if something was going on, right? “Ok… I’ll see you later then.” Slowly, as if he was giving Katsuki more time to admit what was wrong, Eijiro got up and walked towards the door. Katsuki wasn’t looking at him anymore but was instead staring off into nothing.

Snap. Snap.

Eijiro turned at the noise, Katsuki has still turned away and Eijiro noticed Katsuki’s arm dropping quickly to his side. Seriously, what is up with him today? Eijiro’s eyes shot between Katsuki and the door, unable to decide where to go, but his feet moved separately and soon enough he was outside Katsuki’s room and rushing towards the second floor.

Snap. Snap.

Katsuki could feel his fingers snap against his hand, but the world remained silent. His hand dropped and he stared at his feet, unable to process what he always knew was going to happen. Katsuki spun around and slammed the door, he didn’t even hear Eijiro leave and he had to have been one of the loudest people Katsuki knew.

His world was crumbling around him. Suddenly dizzy, Bakugo sank onto his bed and curled in on himself. With each breath, he took he had to clamp a hand on his mouth to muffle his sobs, just because he couldn’t hear them anymore didn’t mean anyone else could.

How am I supposed to be a hero now? How is anyone going to take me seriously anymore? How am I going to talk with anyone? The questions burned inside of him and each one felt like a punch to the gut. There were many things Katsuki could’ve done to prevent this from happening but it meant giving up on his dreams of becoming a hero. Katsuki thought he had resigned himself to this inevitability, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Where the hell are we going hag?” Katsuki growled as Mitsuki put on a light coat.

“Katsuki don’t speak to your mother that way.”

Katsuki ignored his father and didn’t break eye contact. Mitsuki took her sweet time putting on her jacket, then her shoe, and then a pair of sunglasses. It was only when she was fishing for her keys inside her purse did she answer. “The doctors.”

“Why? I’m not sick.”

“You’re becoming deaf so we’re going to get you hearing aids.”

“What!” Katsuki reeled back looking between his parents. “There is no way in hell I’m getting hearing aids!”

Katsuki-” Masaru started.

“No! I’m fine, I don’t need them!”

“You were at the appointment with us, if you want to keep hearing you need the hearing aids!”

“I’d rather go deaf!”

“This isn’t up for debate, we’re just doing what’s best for you!”

All Katsuki could see was red. He stormed past his mother and ran down the street, not caring where his feet took him. Ten minutes later, Katsuki found himself at a park. He sat down at the bench furthest from the playground and drew his hood up, fiddling with the drawstrings. The slight breeze helped him calm down but nothing would subside the internal rage. How dare his parents even consider the possibility of hearing aids! Sure there were some moments where he needed people to repeat what they said and he had to focus extra hard on the shape of their mouth but that didn’t mean he needed help. The moment he wore those all his hard-earned work would be gone, no one would take him seriously.

Katsuki had been so deep in thought and worry that he didn’t even realize his dad was sitting next to him. He jumped in surprise but quickly masked it with irritants. “I’m not going and you can’t make me.”

Masaru laughed, “Believe me I know if you or your mother has your heart set on something then nothing in the world is going to change that.”

Katsuki said nothing. Instead, he focused on the drawstrings of his hoodie, twisting them around and around on his fingers. “People will think I’m weird if I have those things on.”

“Since when do you care what other people think of you?”

“Public perception is everything to pro-heroes, the minute they see them everyone is going to know how weak I really am.”

“Is that what you think the hearing aids are? A sign of weakness?”

“Of course they are!” Katsuki shouted, standing so that he could face his father. “When people see me all they’re going to see is the dumb little deaf boy who can’t do shit! Don’t you understand I don’t want that!”

“Or maybe they’ll see someone inspiring, a pro-hero that’s also like them? You could inspire so many people.”

“I don’t want to inspire people simply because of-” He gestured towards his broken ear. “-This! I want to be a kickass and powerful hero!”

“You can still do that and wear hearing aids-”

“Don’t you get it! Nothing you say is going to change my mind so just drop it!”

Masaru sighed and wiped a hand over his face. Katsuki suddenly realized how much older he looked at that moment, how defeated and broken he had become because his son was broken. Katsuki dropped his gaze and trudged back to his spot.

“One day you will lose your hearing completely, that’s the reality of the situation. Don’t you want to savor every moment you have left?”

“Isn’t there another way, a way that isn’t so obvious?”

Katsuki didn’t need to hear Masaru’s answer; it was written plain as day across his face. He stood up again and started towards home. Of course, he would want to do something but not at the expense of his dignity or his pride.

Mitsuki didn’t say anything as Katsuki entered their house, neither of them had the energy to fight, Katsuki trudged up the stairs and slammed the door behind him. He ignored the homework that sat on his desk and turned on the TV, the paused video game still waited from the last time Katsuki played it a few days ago, he unpaused the game and tried to unwind. But the more he played the angrier it felt. He could see the NPC’s talking but the game might as well have been silent for how well Katsuki could hear them. Try as he might to hear what they were saying, it was hopeless and Katsuki threw the controller across the room in his fit of rage. There was no way in hell he was putting on subtitles.

Thankfully Midoriya was in his room. Kirishima knocked on the open door quickly, afraid that he would lose his nerve if he thought about it for too long. Midoriya looked up from his desk and removed his earbuds.

“Hey, Kirishima! What are you doing here?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Midoriya kicked at the empty chair and Kirishima caught it, rolling it back next to Midoriya. Hesitantly he sat down and started to fiddle with his fingers. How do you ask a friend about another friend’s personal business?

“It’s about Katsuki…” Kirishima said. “Has he… I don’t know, been acting weird lately?”

“This is Kacchan we’re talking about. I don’t think he acts normally to anyone.”

Kirishima forced a laugh but it didn’t settle his nerves. “Yeah, I guess…”

“Kirishima what’s wrong?” Midoriya asked, becoming more serious.

“Well you know how Kats always plays his music really loud, well today I tried to talk to him about it and he was just acting weird.”

“What do you mean by weird?”

“For starters when I turned his music off he didn’t even look up the same thing when I shouted his name. He only noticed me after I touched his shoulder.”

“Hm.” Midoriya adopted a face of deep concentration, rubbing his chin while he tried to puzzle out what Kirishima was telling him. “Now that you mention it I feel like Bakugo has gotten louder these past few months.”

“I’m just afraid that he’s going through something terrible and you know him,” Kirishima smiled to himself. “He won’t say anything even if it was killing him.”

“I’ll keep a lookout and tell you if anything’s wrong.”

Kirishima smiled and relief flooded through his veins. Having someone else look out for Katsuki made it seem a lot more bearable. “Thanks, man, I appreciate it.”

Three days, it had been three days since Katuski last heard anything. He had managed to keep it hidden: pretending that he knew what Aizawa was talking about during class, watching people’s lips and trying his best to figure out what they were saying, and when all else failed he sat away from everyone else.

Training was the only time of the day where he felt normal, there was less conversation and more hitting people that annoyed him. There had been moments where Katsuki felt like he was falling behind, they had a stealth mission exercise and Katsuki almost failed it since he couldn’t hear any of the alarms he triggered, but he had everything, for the most part, under control.

Katsuki sat at one of the benches lining all of gym gamma as he took a small break from the class's latest exercise. Cementos had come in and created a maze of pillars. Each student was to go through the maze and reach the other side, the only catch was the maze was constantly changing so you needed to get out before you were trapped. He was one of the first of his classmates to go and set the bar high, completing the maze within a matter of seconds. All that was left to do was to wait for everyone to complete their turn.

Everyone else was standing near the edge of the maze, either waiting for their turn or watching the little screens that displayed the extra that was taking their turn, Katsuki scanned the room to make sure nobody was watching him. When he saw that no one was he discreetly put his fingers next to his ears and snapped twice nothing. It was a sort of ritual that Katsuki had developed ever since Eijiro came by his room. And every time he snapped his fingers it ended the same way, complete silence. Katsuki thought that he had resigned himself to the fact that one day he would become deaf but now that it was here. It was almost too much to bear.

Katsuki’s eyes darted to Deku at the same time his eyes darted away. Shit. Deku couldn’t have been staring for more than a few seconds but the stupid nerd can puzzle everything out with very little information. Katsuki stood up and stalked over to Deku, Katsuki needed to make sure that he kept his mouth shut.

Suddenly, tremors erupted in the gym and Katsuki nearly fell to the ground along with a few other students. He shook it off and continued walking. Katsuki had only taken a few steps when the hair on the back of his neck rose. Spinning, Katsuki saw a barrage of icicles coming straight at him. Without thinking he raised his hand and fired, the force of the explosion sent Katsuki flying and he hit the wall. Struggling to take a full breath, Katsuki slumped over but was caught before he hit the ground. Looking up, Katsuki saw Aizawa looking at him, concern flooding his face. He could see Aizawa’s mouth moving but there were no words to follow. Shakily, Katsuki’s fingers reached towards his ears and lightly touched them when he pulled away they were covered in his blood. Aizawa followed Katsuki’s gaze and paled at the sight of his blood. Gently, as if Aizawa was afraid he was going to break Katsuki, he picked up Katsuki and rushed him to Recovery Girl.

Aizawa had just been asked to leave when Eijiro came rushing up to him. The look of absolute terror was plain as day. He tried to go into Recovery Girl’s room but Aizawa placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder, stopping him. “You can’t go in there.”

“But- But he’s my best friend. I need to see if he’s ok!”

“I’m sure everything’s ok, he just had a small wound near his ear.” Aizawa didn’t want to go into further detail, knowing that would make Eijiro even more nervous.

Eijiro’s shoulders slumped and he slowly padded over to the bench next to the door. Once he sat he rested his chin in the palm of his hand. “I knew something was going on with him.”

“What do you mean?” Aizawa asked, walking over and sitting down next to him.

“A couple of days ago Katsuki was playing his music really loud and when I went to turn it off he didn’t even move like…” Eijiro didn’t finish his sentence, overwhelmed with the thought and implications of that day. “I didn’t say anything because I thought he would tell me what’s wrong. I should’ve asked him what was up maybe- maybe then…”

“Kid this isn’t your fault.”

“I know but what if something bad happened and now it’s even worse! What if Recovery Girl can’t heal him?”

“I don’t think there’s an injury Recovery Girl can’t heal, Bakugo will be fine.” The more he repeated the sentiment the more Aizawa hoped it was true.

Recovery Girl slowly opened the door and both Eijiro and Aizawa stood to greet her. Eijiro opened his mouth, ready to ask a million questions when she held up her hand and gestured for Aizawa to step inside.

Aizawa turned and grasped Eijiro’s shoulders. “I’ll only be a minute then I’m sure you can go see him.”

Eijiro nodded his head solemnly then meandered back to the bench, his nervous energy causing him to bounce his leg.

Aizawa turned back to Recovery Girl and walked inside. He heard a faint snap every once in a while and looked towards Recovery Girl. “Is he ok?” Aizawa asked, keeping his voice down.

“No, he’s not ok,” Recovery Girl said. Her normal volume made Aizawa wince but she ignored him and continued talking. “The poor child had lost all of his hearing and from the looks of it he’s been deaf long before today.”

“What!”

“It’s not surprising with his quirk and all but my guess is that he’s been losing his hearing for years.”

“Is there anything you can do?”

“Unfortunately not, once the cells in our ears die that’s it, there’s nothing that can bring them back to life.”

“Where is he?”

Recovery Girl led him to the other side of her office and gestured towards the windows. Katsuki was sitting on the sill, his knees tucked into his chest, and his hand was near his ear.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

“It looks like he’s having a hard time processing this, maybe you should go and talk to him.” Recovery Girl suggested.

Instead, Aizawa turned and headed for the door, Katsuki would never talk to him, what he needed now was his best friend.

Snap. Snap. Snap.

As Eijiro entered Recovery Girl’s office the first thing he noticed was Katsuki snapping his fingers over and over again. Aizawa told Eijiro everything he’d known and said that what Katsuki needed right now was him. Everything now made sense, why Katsuki was so loud and often asked people to repeat themselves or the way he always blasted his music even though it was right next to him why he always slightly tilted his head to the side whenever he was talking to someone. All of the clues were there but Eijiro was too stupid to put them together and now it was too late.

Hesitantly, he made his way over to Katsuki. Eijiro had never seen him look so defeated before; hunched shoulders, his knees so close to his chest that not even light could pass in between the space, and his snapping fingers. Over and over again Katsuki kept snapping his fingers next to his right ear but it was clear that he couldn’t hear a thing. Eijiro tried to call out but stopped just as the words were about to pass his lips, instead, he lightly placed his hand onto Katsuki’s shoulders.

Katsuki jumped at the sudden touch then looked to see whose hand it was. Without another thought, Katsuki launched himself into Eijiro and buried his face into his friend’s chest. Eijiro held him and gently stroked his hair while he could feel Katsuki’s body wracked with sobs. He whispered sweet nothings into Katsuki’s hair, more to make himself feel better than Katsuki.

After what felt like hours, Katsuki’s tears dried up and he let himself be cradled by Eijiro who had taken to rocking back and forth slowly.

“I can never be a hero now,” Katsuki whispered to himself.

Eijiro pulled away slightly so that they were arm's length away. Slowly, Eijiro’s eyes gazed around the room until he found what he was looking for. Katsuki followed Eijiro’s gaze and saw that he was looking at a small pad of paper and a pencil that was next to one of the beds. Anger flooded his veins, the thought of having to communicate by writing made him sick to his stomach. Eijiro didn’t notice Katsuki’s mood change because he went over and grabbed the pad, the pen quickly scratching its surface. Eijiro’s smile was so genuine that Katsuki swallowed his pride and took the pad. There was only one thing written and it was barely legible in Eijiro haste but Katsuki had spent enough time looking over his homework to be able to read his chicken scratch. Before he realized it, tears had welled up in his eyes and he rose to meet Eijiro.

“Thank you,” He said, wrapping his arms around Eijiro.