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If you told Peter one year ago that he'd be attending an Avengers party, he'd probably laugh and call you crazy.
Hell, he didn't even think he'd be lucky enough to be in the same room as more than one of them, save for the time he'd almost been blasted to hell at the Stark Expo and Iron Man swooped in to save him. As embarrassing as it seems now, the small praise he'd given him that day echoed in his mind for every patrol he went on up until actually meeting the man (and occasionally after, not that he'd admit that).
But now he found himself in the elevator, hands shaking from excitement as he headed up to the common area where the Avengers were. Ned was practically vibrating next to him, both boys babbling along with thrilled conversation.
He was happy to have Ned with him, but blushed remembering the conversation of asking. Mr. Stark gave him an invitation for a plus-one (however informal the event, he just didn't want the kid to get bored) and when the teen automatically reserved that spot for Ned, the teasing was endless.
He didn't care much, he loved his best friend. Sue him.
"This is so cool, man, is Thor here?" Ned asked, drawing a laugh from his best friend.
"Mr. Stark said everyone was gonna be here. A couple shield agents and Nick Fury too. He said to ignore him though, which I guess I will. Maybe he doesn't know I'm Spider-Man, so he probably won't talk to me, you know. Or maybe he will." Peter rambled as the elevator came to a stop.
"Oh my god, Nick Fury too?!" Neds eyes widened comically. Peter really couldn't tell who was more psyched.
Ned had met Tony and the rest of the Avengers on numerous occasions, the former was highly impressed with his skills and promised him a job at SI in the future. He'd even been invited to some of the many movie nights and spent the night a few times with Peter. But this was a party, an actual Avengers party like old times.
Not that either or them really knew about 'old times', but the awe was still the same. Even when Tony said the whole thing was 'low-key', that man hardly knew what low-key meant.
"Well, if it isn't Spidey-boy and the chair guy." Tony greeted them at the elevator. "Glad you two could make it."
"Thanks, Mr. Stark!" Peter grinned, lifting up the Tupperware May had sent him with. "I've got some cookies, they're kinda burnt."
"My mom made brownies and Adobo!" Ned lifted his own Tupperware, the two boxes stacked on top of each other.
Both boys were dressed up in button ups and slacks, the shorter boy wearing a fedora and a cheesy smile. Tony couldn't help but find the sight endearing seeing as even Captain America himself was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
Peter seemed to have noticed, a flushed creeping up to his cheeks. "Oh god, Mr. Stark! We're overdressed!" The boy stressed. Hell, Natasha was wearing normal clothes too and here they were, looking like weird little salesmen.
Tony laughed, clapping a hand on their shoulders. "I do have some Iron Man t-shirts and some pajama bottoms if you'd prefer that." He joked, his laughter only continuing at the boys obvious embarrassment. "Or you can just put your suit on and hide on the ceiling."
"He's such a dad." Ned teased, unbothered by his attire while the other teen squirmed.
"Okay, boys, go put your offerings down on the table and make yourselves at home." Tony rolled his eyes, flicking the shorter boys hat before going back to his conversation with a lady Peter didn't remember the name of from SHIELD. He thought something Hill.
The embarrassment passed soon enough, even after Clint came by to mess up his gelled back curls and steal Neds hat. He pointed them over to the dessert station and told them to go wild.
"Be careful with the jel-" He called out before Thor came over and interrupted, questioning his hat. Peter brushed off his incomplete warning as a joke. His senses didn't warn him of any dangers, so he figured he was fine.
The night continued on, the sun setting over the horizon, allowing for the twinkling city lights to shine into the windows. Peter made it pretty far into the night without eating yet, but he knew that his metabolism wasn't going to hold out much longer so he suggested to Ned that they get some sort of food, pausing their mingling session with Bruce, who smiled and shooed them towards the food station.
"Oh, dude, they have jello!" Ned yanked him over to the dessert and drink station. He snorted when he saw the tray surrounded by a bunch of bottles. He knew Tony wasn't much of a drinker these days, so he was surprised to see so much alcohol. His curiosity turned to amusement when he turned to see the man himself holding a juice box, lifting it up as if it was a toast with a wink.
"Wonder why it's on the drink table." He heard Ned say vaguely, not paying much mind to the little jello cup that his friend handed him.
It sure was nice of Mr. Stark to have jello for them, he wondered how he knew it was one of his favorites. He fingered he'd eat real food later, after all, Mr. Stark would expect him to at least have some since he went through the trouble of having it for him.
"Thanks, man." Peter grinned, slurping back the red jell and cringing a bit at the taste. "Whoa, that jello tastes weird."
"I guess rich people jello is different." Ned concluded, grabbing two more. "They're kinda good though." He chuckled. "Kinda. Mostly gross."
"They are." Peter agreed, slurping back another one before grabbing a juice from the box labeled 'spider-baby juice'. He wondered if that was Tony's doing or Sam's. He laughed regardless. "I bet I can eat more than you still."
"Ha. You're on, dude."
After a few minutes, the whole tray was gone. The two boys were giggling, tossing the empty containers back and forth.
"Man, I want more jello!" Peter whined, leaning up against the wall. "Where'd it all go?"
"I don't know, man, we gotta find some more!" Ned gripped onto his arm, steadying himself. "I-I gotta win! You've got like...five more than me." He slurred, a hiccup falling from his lips.
"I-I think... We had too much sugar." Peter giggled a bit. "I feel so tingly right now."
Ned just laughed, pulling him along. They dissolved into a fit of giggled as the stumbled across the room, slamming into a wall and then into a body.
The man raised an eyebrow at the two boys. "Hello, Mr. Parker. It's nice to finally meet the face behind Queens favorite little hero." He greeted not unkindly, his one eye flitting between the two.
"Hey, Mr. Pirate. I feel tingly." Peter grinned up at him, his grip on Ned tightening as he stumbled a bit. The shorter boy laughing almost hysterically before gasping.
"Do you have more jello, Mr. Pirate?" Neds face became serious for approximately three seconds before both boys fell into fits of laughter again.
"Damn weird kids." Fury muttered to himself, rolling his eye before waking away from them.
Both boys just laughed harder, falling a bit against the wall. "He's a angry pirate." Peter whispered loudly, his friend cackling beside him. "Arrrg!!" He growled out, throwing his head back as he laughed.
Natasha watched from across the room, shaking her head as she stood up. "Clint, did you tell the two children to stay away from the Jell-O shots?" She asked, watching the older man snort.
"Of course I did! I told them right before-" Clints face dropped. "Wait, no. I should probably do that before they-"
"Eat the whole tray?" Nat smirked slightly. "Little too late." She jerked her head in the direction of the empty tray and then in the direction of the two giggling boys.
"Oh, shit." Clint blinked, biting his lip as his brought a hand to his forehead. "Starks gonna kill me."
"And why am I killing you today, feathers?" Tony inserted himself into the conversation, his back turned to the two teens who were practically falling all over each other.
"Okay, before you decide how to kill me, I would just like to say that the fault is fully on Hammer over there." Clint raised up his hands.
"What is my fault?" Thor's turned around, his head tilted before a small crash filled the room.
"I-I'm 'n acrobat!" Peter announced, attaching a web to the catwalk railing and swinging across the room, letting out a loud "weee!" before slamming into the wall.
"Th-That was...so badass, man!" Ned cheered, stumbling over to him as the taller boy laughed.
"Acro-smashed!" Peter squealed, the two boys struggling to stand up.
"Stark, your illegitimate children are wasted." Fury said, disinterested.
Tony took in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. He opened his mouth to question what in the fuck lead to this when the kids in question made their way over to him.
"M'ser Stark..." Peter slurred, a dopey smile on his stupid little drunk face. "We ran outta the spicy jello and now I feel sooooo tingly." He giggled, nearly face planting before the back of his shirt was caught by Steve, watching the two boys with worry.
"Careful there, son." He said, steadying the boy.
"Whoa, are you my dad?" Peter swung around to look at the taller man. "Man, I got two dads now? That's so cool." He slurred. "I got my metal dad, my Tony dad and my...my big dad." The teen gave them both a lopsided grin. "Ned, look! I've got two dads!"
"That's so unfair." Ned stumbled closer. "I want cool dads too."
"Clint, two seconds to explain why my kid and his best friend, my fifteen year old kid and his fifteen year old best friend, are both wasted right now?" He looked at the sheepish man.
"I, uh, may or may not have forgotten to warn them that to stay away from the Jell-O shots..." Clint cringed when Tony grunted in frustration.
"Peter loves jello!!" Tony slammed a hand on his forehead.
"I want more jello, please!" Peter grinned, looking at them all with unfocused eyes. "Not the spicy jello, makes me too tingly."
"N-Not your Peter tingle..." Ned snorted, grabbing onto his friend before stumbling to the ground, dragging the boy down with him.
"Oh, no! My bones are jello!" Peter laughed, melting to the ground. "Mr. Stark I feel so weird!"
Nat snorted, shaking her head. "Poor little spider."
Fury just stared down at him. "No way in hell that is the same guy that swings around Queens."
"M'ser Stark, I don't like that scary pirate man!" Peter announced from his spot on the floor.
"Shhhhhh..." Ned shushed him, putting a hand over his mouth. "He's a big pirate, scary."
Peter licked at his friends hand, trying to roll away when both boys were snatched up from the ground.
"Oh, fuck! I'm flying, Mr. Stark!" Peter cried out.
"Peter, you can't say that!" Ned slurred scolding made the other teen blush.
"Oh, fuck, I'm floating?" Peter tried again, hanging over Tony's shoulder.
"Okay, Spider-baby, time for bed." Tony sighed, looking to Steve who had the other boy held in bridal style.
"I'm not tired, dad!" Peter whined, his cheek pressed against Tony's shoulder blade.
Shaking his head, the two men brought the boys into Peters room, setting them both down on the bed and tucking them in.
"Sweet dreams, you little rascals." Tony snorted, watching Steve give him a knowing look. He just rolled his eyes and shut the light off, quickly gathering two cups of water, a trash can for each side of the bed, and some Advil for Ned and super strength pain medicine for the Spider-boy.
Both boys put up minimal fight, slurring terrible jokes and poking each other in the nose while giggling until they fell asleep.
The last thing Tony heard was a little mumbled from Peter as he slurred out, "g'night, dad. Love you."
"Love you too, kiddo." He sighed, pushing the hair out of his face before moving out of the room.
"You know," Steve smiled at him leaning in the doorway. "Dad isn't a bad look on you."
"Oh, shush, Spangles." Tony said, no bit to his words as he didn't even attempt to hide the small smile on his face. Sure, May was going to be pissed and he hoped to god Ned never told his parents, but all he could think of was his kid and the word 'dad'.
He never knew a love quite like that.
Pushing away the warmth in his chest, he pointed to Clint and narrowed his eyes.
"No more spicy jello."
And if the hangovers weren't punishment enough for their incidental crime, having to watch their escapades via FRIDAYS security footage with all of the team first thing in the morning was just plain cruel.
Peter had to agree, no more spicy jello.