Archive of Our Own

Luke has only been back to campus for about twenty minutes and he’s practically vibrating. He can’t sit still, pacing around the room eagerly in anticipation for what’s to come. He can’t even be bothered to put away his clothes yet, too wired with energy to properly do anything other than wait.

It’s been five weeks since he last saw Calum and every second has been torture. Well, torture is probably a bit extreme, but after living out of each other’s pockets for the previous four months straight, five weeks was like a lifetime. Sure they texted and called and facetimed and used every other form of communication under the sun to stay in contact, but it wasn’t enough when they were used to going to sleep and waking up together with their limbs tangled.

They almost broke more than once, with each one making a threat to come see the other, if only for a day. Neither one of them would allow the other to do so, not with the knowledge that they would be together again soon. Time was only relative, they made it their whole lives without each other and a few weeks wasn’t going to kill either of them.

Instead, they tried to keep themselves busy. Luke did housework with his mom, stupid errands with his brothers, and watched movies with his dad. Calum did whatever it was he was doing when he wasn’t texting Luke frowny face emojis, which couldn’t have been a lot considering how often Luke was receiving “miss you :(” texts.

It wasn’t just Calum either. In the very short amount of time between meeting Michael and Ashton and the moment that they went home for winter break, they had already started creating bonds between them all. Luke and Michael got along immediately, sending each other stupid memes and playing video games in their spare time. Ashton texted Luke less frequently, opting to let Luke come to him when he wanted to talk.

It was interesting to see how fundamentally different Ashton and Michael were, yet they were so intertwined with one another. Luke knew that Michael moved in with Ashton at the end of the semester, so they spent more of their time together than anyone else. He longed for a day where he could spend more time with his soulmates, wanting to know as much about each of them as possible. In the time that they had been together as a group of four, Luke knew that they all were vastly different, yet each having at least one commonality that connected pairs. But they had only been able to get together completely that one time, with conflicting schedules not allowing for them to be together.

That’s why as soon as Calum was back to campus, the two of them were going over to Michael and Ashton’s apartment for dinner. Ashton had promised that they were going to make it work this semester, finding times where all four of them could get together more often. Luke couldn’t wait to know more about the other two men that would be taking up most of his life in one way or another.

Luke was so wrapped up in his own mind that he didn’t hear the door open, instead noticing Calum’s presence when he throws his entire body weight at Luke. Luke trips backwards a little with the force, a squeak coming out of his mouth involuntarily, but he composes himself quickly in favor of enveloping Calum in the biggest hug he could muster.

Calum laughs, pulling his head out from where it was nestled in Luke’s neck. He’s grinning, radiant under the yellow fluorescent lights of their campus room. Luke feels like he’s seeing him again for the first time, floppy haired and over excited about life and so absolutely full of love that it’s basically sickening.

“I missed you,” Calum whispers, pressing a kiss to Luke’s lips before he even has a chance to reply. It’s immediately comforting, the sense of belonging that being with Calum brings. The entire time Luke was at home with his parents, it felt like a piece of him was missing. Even now, he feels like there’s a little piece of him missing, which he now finally knows to be the absence of Ashton and Michael.

“I missed you more,” Luke hums, going back in for another kiss immediately. It’s horribly sappy and gross but really, five weeks is excessively long.

They talk as Calum unpacks his bag and returns all his belongings back to their rightful places in their room. Luke lets his legs swing freely from his spot on the edge of the bed, watching as Calum moves around their space.

“You’re going to be annoyed when we get back and you haven’t unpacked yet,” Calum jabs, kicking at Luke’s duffle bag on the floor next to their bed.

Luke shrugs, smiling sweetly down at Calum from his spot. “Maybe you could unpack it for me?”

“Fuck no, do it yourself you lazy shit.” There’s no heat in his words as he hangs up the last of his shirts in their closet.

“I was too busy waiting for you to come back! It’s been weeks, Cal, I missed you!” Luke whines, playing up the dramatics a tad to get Calum worked up.

“Awful, you’re awful,” he chastises lightly, shutting his bag and taking one last look around the room before turning to Luke.

“Can we go see the guys now?” Calum asks, smiling innocently as he kicks his suitcase under the bed.

“Am I not enough for you?” Luke pouts, though the teasing smile breaks through his face almost instantly. He’d be much more offended if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s equally excited to see Ashton and Michael.

“Don’t, you know you’re all I need. I just know you want to see them just as bad as I do,” Calum says as he rolls his eyes, moving to stand between Luke’s legs.

Luke wraps his arms around Calum’s shoulders, playing with the little hairs at the base of his neck. He never gets tired of seeing Calum in full color, memorizing the shade of his eyes, picking up on the way his hair seems to change color in the light. There are things that Luke was never able to fully appreciate for most of their time together prior to meeting Ashton and Michael, so now that he has the chance, he never wants to stop looking at Calum, cataloguing the little things that make him unique.

But Calum has other plans, leaning up a bit to slide his lips against Luke’s again. Luke hums happily, eagerly returning the kiss and nipping at Calum’s bottom lip occasionally. They spend a few minutes lazily exchanging affection, Luke’s hand getting threaded in Calum’s short curls and Calum’s hands on Luke’s hip and thigh. Luke loves it, never worrying about being too much or too little, only pleasantly scratching at Calum’s scalp with his dull nails.

Calum is the first one to pull away completely, resting his head on Luke’s shoulder softly. “As much as I want to keep doing this, we need to go. We can pick up where we left off when we get back?” he offers, pressing a quick kiss to Luke’s lips when he pouts dramatically.

“Fine,” Luke says, sliding off the bed in favor of throwing on a hoodie and his shoes. He doesn’t feel the same urge to impress Ashton and Michael as he did the first time they met, now able to show off the softer side of himself to his two other soulmates.

They gather their belongings and Calum locks the door, reaching to hold Luke’s hand the minute that they leave the room. They pass through the hall’s common space on their way out the door, seeing one of their neighbors, Sierra, lugging her own suitcase through the door.

She smiles in hello as they pass by, eyes flickering down at their hands before her grin softens just a little bit. Luke had gotten to know her quite well over the semester, especially when he was bored waiting for Calum to come back from hanging out with Ashton in the early days of the soulmate debacle. Sierra was a welcome distraction, asking him constant questions about the soulmate situation and his colors, seeing as she hadn’t met her soulmate yet. Luke appreciated her friendship, reminding himself that he wanted to check in with her soon about how her break was.

Calum gets in the driver’s seat of Luke’s car, Luke rolling his eyes playfully at Calum’s insistence to drive no matter where they were going. Calum claimed that he just missed driving so much since his own car was away at home in another state while Luke lived close enough to allow for him to drive to school. Luke let it happen, loving that he was able to admire Calum’s profile instead of having to focus on the road ahead of them.

The drive to Ashton and Michael’s place goes much faster than last time, Calum no longer trying to elongate the time spent in the car. They park easily, all but skipping up to the door and into the elevator. Calum grins at Luke when they are behind the closed metal doors, pressing a quick kiss to his lips again in appreciation.

Calum’s constant need to show public affection knocks Luke off course sometimes, but he’s started to get used to it with every passing day. It makes Calum happy, so Luke finds himself starting to enjoy the way that Calum will kiss him quickly when they’re going to or from anywhere, hands always interlocked if space allows. If not, Calum makes sure that he has a hold on Luke in any other way; a hand on his back, ankles twisted together under tables, legs pressed together while sitting next to each other.

The learning curve of being so intertwined with another person has been an adjustment over all, but after four months of figuring it out together, Luke thinks that he has a better grip of their relationship. Or at least he did, until life decided to flip his expectations around completely by adding in the other two.

They knock and enter the apartment as instructed by Ashton, immediately hit by the sound of music in the kitchen and Michael cackling. It has Luke’s heart skipping a beat, hearing Michael’s warm laughter in person rather than over the grainy online server they played video games on all winter long. Luke detaches his hand from Calum’s in favor of taking off his jacket and shoes, placing them in their rightful spots next to Ashton and Michael’s. It hits Luke for a moment that he isn’t just here to see two friends, he’s here to see his other soulmates who he’s tethered to just as much as he is to Calum.

His mind drifts quickly, wondering what it would be like if he lived with the others, coming home to all his boys at night rather than just Calum. He loves returning to his room to Calum every day, but there’s always that nagging feeling that he’s missing something, someone. Or, really two someones, located just across town.

He pushes that thought away to head down the hallway, quickly seeing Ashton and Michael come into view. Ashton is over the stove browning what looks like ground beef for tacos while Michael drops a pinch of shredded cheese into his own mouth. His hair is a dusty pink color now, contrasting from the dark blond that it was when they first met. He catches sight of Luke and Calum before Ashton does, face splitting into an excited grin. Butterflies erupt in Luke’s stomach at the sight, watching the way that Michael’s eyes twinkle in excitement with them now in the room.

“Hi!” Michael yells, dropping the cheese bag to embrace the new bodies. He goes to Calum first, giving him a quick squeeze and a clap on the shoulder before moving to Luke, wrapping his arms around Luke’s torso. The hug settles some nerves that Luke didn’t even know were present, tamping down the uncertainty of seeing them again in person for the first time. Michael smells like sunshine and cotton, pleasantly cozy.

Ashton turns next, face crumbling as he looks at the dinner he’s making and back over at Calum and Luke, as if he’s trying to determine if he should leave his post to say hello. As if he can read his mind, Michael makes his way to the stove and takes the spoon from Ashton, nudging his hip lightly towards Luke and Calum.

It stirs something in Luke, seeing them interact the way that he and Calum do. It wasn’t like Luke thought that they were unique in the way that they were able to communicate through just knowledge of one another, but seeing two others do it so easily when their love is equally as fresh is calming. He longs for the moment things will become that normal for the four of them, trapezing around Ashton and Michael’s apartment with practiced ease.

A little fly buzzes in his brain, whispering timidly, “Wouldn’t it be nice if you and Calum could do that with Ashton and Michael? Share more than just a friendship?” Luke swats that bug away.

Contrary to what Michael did, Ashton starts with Luke, giving him nothing more than a quick squeeze and a still slightly timid grin, like he’s trying to hide something. Calum, however, gets a warm hug, all giggles and aggressive patting on the back and squinty eyes from both of them. Luke can’t help the jealousy that swells a little bit.

“Tacos?” Ashton says, tilting his head as Michael pulls the pan off the stove and places it on a fabric pot holder.

They help themselves to the food, mindlessly chattering on about what they did over their breaks. Michael says that he dyed his hair pink as he couldn’t stand the idea of looking so basic when there was a world of colors out there that he could be instead. Ashton talks about his work at his internship with the school, trying to make a better plan for their recycling program. Calum rattles off random information about his time out west and how his parents’ dog knocked over the Christmas tree, a story Luke has already heard. More than once, actually.

Luke takes in all the information from his boys intently, storing facts about them in the back of his mind. Ashton is far more bubbly than he let on the last time Luke was here, which Luke knows he can blame on the whole surprise soulmate thing. He never stops laughing, squinty eyes rivaling Calum’s when he’s truly amused with something. Michael is loud and high pitched, getting worked up over every little thing, but all in fun. They mirror each other more now in ways that Luke didn’t notice at first.

He’s sure that it’s the same for him and Calum, pressed up against each other on the sofa again. Luke knows he’s more reserved, listening intently rather than playing an active role in the conversations. He likes to observe more than he likes to be the center of attention. Calum does the same, though he’s ever the more talkative one of the two of them, offering more to the discussion than Luke does.

Some kind of contagious happiness floods his bloodstream, having them all in the same place and interacting like this. Luke knows he felt it when they first came to Ashton’s apartment for dinner, but it’s even more obvious now. They round each other out, giving little pieces to make up for others inadequacies. Luke finds himself smiling unintentionally, unable to keep it off his face as he watches the interactions.

Maybe he finds himself lingering on Ashton’s strong jaw and Michael’s fluffy hair, taking in the way that they act and the way their bodies move in the comfort of their own home. Maybe Luke wonders what it would be like to be a bigger part of that.

When they had met the first time and worked through the fact that they were soulmates, they were so adamant that there wasn’t going to be anything more than the established couples. Luke was so sure that’s what he wanted too, but seeing Michael and Ashton more intimately, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to go forward with Ashton’s initial proposal about making sure that they weren’t keeping themselves from something bigger.

Luke focuses back on the conversation after floating off into space for a moment, refocusing his eyes on the people in front of him. He’s caught off guard by the fact that Ashton is staring back at him with a calculating expression. Luke shivers under his gaze, redirecting his own stare to his hands holded on his lap, to Calum’s heavy palm on his knee.

Luke begins to think that there’s some kind of mind reading ability that comes with being soulmates as Ashton opens his mouth to speak after a moment of silence.

“I want us to talk about the idea of romantic soulmates again,” Ashton starts, threading his fingers together over his lap. “We’ve had a chance to get to know each other a little bit over texts and stuff during the winter, but I still think we need to make sure this is approached delicately.”

Michael scowls from his spot next to Ashton on the couch, crossing his arms defiantly. “Here we go again.”

“I think it’s important that we still try dating each other, just to make sure that isn’t what we want. I can’t live my life with the what if’s,” Ashton adds on, choosing to ignore Michael’s complaint with a pinch to his thigh.

Calum tenses next to Luke, jaw set tight with his teeth grinding.

“Is it even worth it?” Luke asks, scrunching his nose. It’s not that he’s against the idea entirely, but he knows that he loves Calum more than he loves anyone in his entire life. Doing anything that’s going to hurt Calum sounds like a waste as Luke would go to hell and back to make sure that Calum was smiling. He’s seen it more and more today, how they all fit together, between laughing at the same jokes, teasing in the same tone, smiling in the same content way. There’s still the lingering idea that maybe Ashton or Michael has something that Luke is missing, he just doesn’t know it yet.

It’s that uncertainty that has him leaning in towards Ashton, interested in whatever it is that he has to say.

“I think it would be, just to see. I think we each need to go out on a date just to make sure that we’re right in our relationships.”

“This is fucking stupid,” Michael hisses. “I know that I want to be with Ashton and only Ashton. No offense to either of you, but I’m just not interested.” Luke notes how he’s rigid on the couch, shoulders square and jaw set. He’s ready to fight if need be, challenging Ashton with his eyes. This isn’t a brand new conversation, based on the defensive edge of Michael’s voice and the exhausted tone of Ashton’s.

Ashton sighs, running a hand through his curls. “Then use it as a chance to get to know each other more. It’s just a date, or a hang out, whatever. I’m just asking for one chance.”

“I’m with Michael,” Calum says, “I don’t like the idea of making this romantic between all of us. Luke is my romantic soulmate.”

“But how do you know?” Ashton insists, waving his hands in the air. He can’t keep his hands down when he’s passionate about something, one of the little details Luke has picked up in his time watching Ashton. He’s the same way, though Calum and Michael keep their hands to themselves. They balance each other out.

“Because I was with Luke first and I just know,” Calum insists, crossing his arms tightly against his chest. He turns to Luke, raising his eyebrows as if to say back me up here. But Luke just isn’t sure that he can do that.

He knows deep in his heart that Calum is it for him. He’s known since the day they met, even when things were still so uncertain and he wasn’t sure what the universe was trying to tell him by only letting him see red. He knew from the very first glance that he was going to be in love with Calum for the rest of his life.

But how much did Calum’s eagerness to be with him also influence his decision? Luke didn’t get that opportunity with Michael or Ashton. He never got to have a love at first sight moment since he was already drowning in the sea of Calum. Would things have been different if he had met Ashton or Michael before he met Calum?

It hits him then, that this is exactly what Ashton is talking about. They don’t know that they don’t romantically love the others because they never had the chance to feel that way. They could very well be in a much different situation if Luke had met Ashton on the quad and Calum and Michael had shared a class together. Maybe it was fate for them to meet this way, or maybe just a happy accident.

But there’s really only one way for them to find out for sure.

“I agree with Ashton, actually,” Luke hears himself saying, words sounding foreign on his tongue. Calum blinks at Luke, astonished by the words coming out of his mouth. Michael throws his hands up in the air before pushing to stand, walking out of the room immediately, only to return a second later. Ashton looks pleasantly surprised, giving a little smile to Luke across the room. It warms Luke’s heart to have Ashton slowly trusting him more, breaking down some of the walls that he has up.

“Thank you, Luke,” Ashton says.

“Are you serious?” Calum says, offended. He moves away from Luke on the couch just a bit, though the distance feels massive. Luke could easily move his hand and touch Calum if he wanted, but he respects Calum’s need for space in the moment and instead frowns down at his hands, almost embarrassed. He would do anything in the world to avoid hurting Calum, but it’s not just Calum’s life here, it’s his too. Even more than just that, it impacts all of them.

“It’s two against two,” Michael sneers, pacing around the front of the room.

“I don’t think it’s anyone against anyone, that makes it sound like we’re at war or something,” Luke says.

“I’m genuinely just asking for this to be a chance for each of us to get to know each other on a one on one basis. You’re blowing it up, Mike. We owe it to each other to test it out,” Ashton tacks on.

The silence that follows them is thick, suffocating with an unsaid challenge of who will be the first one to break. Their first real soulmate fight would happen the moment they’re all put in the same room together after weeks of being apart. Luke hates uncomfortable situations and disappointing others more than anything, hands twitching nervously by his sides.

“Okay,” Luke says, taking a breath to break the still air. “How about Calum and I head back to campus. We can talk about this again another time when we’ve had some time to think.”

Michael nods enthusiastically and his eagerness for Calum and Luke to leave makes Luke’s heart sink a bit. It’s only been a month of being soulmates, they can’t hate each other already. Luke doesn’t know how he would be able to handle life if it meant that he didn’t have his soulmates. Though, with every word out of his mouth, he feels like he’s getting closer to a split. This divide could be the end of them all unless someone gives a little, and he’s not sure that Ashton is going to be the one to break.

Ashton follows them to the door, trying to excuse Michael’s behavior with light words, but Calum wants to hear none of it. He gives Ashton a curt nod and a thin goodbye before leaving out the door before Luke even has a chance to say a single word. It hurts, watching him walk away like that, but based on the way Ashton deflates a little, Luke knows it hurts him more. Luke will have Calum when they get back to campus, but Ashton will have to wait until he’s simmered down to talk. Wouldn’t it be easier if they were all together?

Luke lingers in the doorway with his hand on the knob before turning back to Ashton. “Are we messing everything up?” Luke wonders aloud, looking at Ashton like he’s somehow going to find the answers to the universe in his hazel eyes. He tends to be the one leading them all, with this situation being no different.

Ashton reaches between them and grabs Luke’s free hand softly, the touch sending sparks through Luke’s fingers. It’s a stark difference from the way that Ashton greeted him earlier, once stiff and formal, but now delicate. “I think this is the smartest thing that we could be doing. For all of us, for our future. It’s for the best.”

Luke smiles weakly, letting Ashton’s words take up residency in his brain. He’s not sure he believes them yet, but Ashton’s faith settles something.

“Okay,” he whispers, squeezing Ashton’s hand lightly. Ashton releases in favor of wrapping an arm around Luke, pulling him close. Over Ashton’s shoulder, Luke catches sight of Michael lurking in the doorway, face drawn in a look of resignation. His heart throbs painfully, aching to reach out to Michael and bring him in close too, but instead he just offers a small smile over Ashton’s shoulder before he leaves with a quiet goodbye.

The ride home is silent. Calum already had taken the driver’s seat when Luke had made it downstairs, tapping his fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. He’s worrying his lip between his teeth, staring straight ahead at the road with both hands on the wheel. Luke can’t help but miss the weight of Calum’s hand on his thigh where it rightfully belongs, never having been able to keep his hands to himself before. It’s a sign of his true feelings, closed off and detached.

When they return back to campus, Calum doesn’t even hesitate for a moment as he gets out of the car and takes off for the building. Luke’s hand swings uselessly by his side, void of it’s match of Calum’s hand in his as he follows behind a few paces. If Luke looks down, he thinks he could imagine Calum’s hand in his, with the tiny DSH tattoo peeking out over his thumb with their hands clasp.

Instead, Luke walks alone into the building, following the heavy footsteps up the stairs to their door.

Luke trails after Calum as he stalks into their room, dramatically throwing his keys and wallet onto his desk. If the ‘smoke coming out of someone's ears’ cartoon was real, Luke knows that Calum would be red in the face with a billowing cloud of ash flooding the air around him. The only time Luke has seen Calum this mad is when someone on his team jeopardized their chances at going to playoffs by going out the night before their qualifying match. He’s not exactly sure how to broach the conversation as he toes off his converse by the door.

“Cal,” Luke says calmly, trying to be the one who’s level headed right now in the face of Calum’s fury.

“No, I don’t want to talk about it,” Calum hisses, shooting Luke daggers as he kicks off his own shoes and sends them flying against the wall. Luke is gonna owe their neighbors an apology later on.

“Calum,” Luke says with more determination, taking a step forward from his spot near the door. “We need to talk about this.”

Calum runs a frustrated hand down his face, groaning as he tugs on his skin. His hair sticks up in all different directions, highlighting the turmoil inside his brain. “What is there to talk about, you’re giving up.”

Luke blinks, mouth parting instantly. Giving up? That’s the furthest thing from the truth, Luke thinks, unsure where Calum got that idea from in the first place. He’s given no indication that he’s trying to give up, but rather trying to make things work for all of them? How are things getting so lost in translation?

“Excuse me?” Luke says, voice a little shaky. No one likes being accused of things that simply just aren’t true. No one wants to be painted as someone they’re not.

Calum sinks back onto their bed, laying flat against the mattress for a moment before returning to a seated position with a sigh. Most of the heat is gone from his stare, instead dissipating into something more vulnerable, more afraid.

“You’re giving up on us,” he says. His mind is made up regardless of the truth.

“That’s really dramatic,” Luke sighs, hopping up on the bed to sit down next to Calum.

“Is it? You’re the one who said that you would be willing to date other people no more than a half hour ago, correct?”

“It’s not just other people, they’re our soulmates.” Luke rolls his eyes without meaning to. “You’re making it sound like I broke up with you.”

“Did you not?”

“Calum,” Luke insists, reaching to take his hand. Calum pulls it away instantly.

“Don’t,” Calum says, crossing his arms.

Luke sighs, breathing out steadily through his mouth. “Okay, fine. I’ll talk then. I love you, you know that? Even though you’re stupidly stubborn and very prone to being jealous lately, what’s that about?”

“I’m not being jealous.”

“Okay, then can you explain what’s going on if you’re not jealous? Because I’m pretty sure I didn’t break up with you and I’m absolutely sure that I don’t want to, but you’re acting really strange.”

There’s a moment where neither of them speak, just Luke looking at Calum and Calum looking away. Luke takes in the way his eyes stay downcast, how he’s picking at the skin around his nails anxiously. His jaw quirks as he tries to force back whatever words are lingering on his tongue. He can’t keep them back for too long.

“How am I supposed to take it when you say you want to try to date Ashton and Michael? You were against it when we talked about it last time but the second Ashton brings it up tonight, you’re ready to leave me behind and see them instead? Why do you want to leave me so badly?” he says, voice tiny and riddled with nerves.

“Calum,” Luke sighs, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. “I love you more than I love anything else on this entire earth. But even then, we have more than just us to think about here. Do I think that I want to be with anyone else but you? No, but I still want to see because we owe it to Ashton and Michael as our other soulmates. I owe it to you to make sure that I’m 100% in this.”

“You should know you’re 100% in this without having to confirm it with dating them! I should be enough for you!”

“I am with you completely. But we have two other soulmates that we need to think about. It’s not just us anymore and I don’t want to be selfish about this. I want to be sure. It’s one date, and like Ash said, it can just be hanging out if you really refuse to try. But I’d like you to try, for me.”

Calum lets out a shuddering breath of air, letting his shoulders fall forwards slightly in defeat. “I can’t lose you,” Calum mumbles, staring down at his own hands as they unfold onto his lap again.

Luke tentatively reaches a hand towards Calum, smiling slightly when Calum flips his hand over to let Luke lace their fingers together. “I don’t know when it’s going to sink into your thick skull that you can’t possibly get rid of me. We’re literally soulmates, I’d rather chop off my hands than be apart from you.”

“Now who’s being dramatic,” Calum huffs, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Still you, but I’ll accept that,” Luke laughs. “But really, we just got back from break, I just want to enjoy my time with you for now. We can argue more about the dating thing later, but I’d really just like to cuddle you in our bed and watch a movie and kiss you because I really, really fucking missed you.”

“No,” Calum sighs, nodding resolutely, “You’re right. We can try the dating thing. Ashton said one date each, just to be sure. That’s not going to kill us. As long as I still get to come home to you at the end of the day.”

“Always,” Luke confirms, lifting their clasped hands to kiss the back of Calum’s before leaning in close.

Luke hates the way that Calum’s shoulders are slumped and his head hangs low, but he really thinks that this would be good for them. Or, maybe it’s just Ashton sinking into Luke’s brain, but there’s something convincing about the way that Ashton insists upon things. He acts with intention, like he’s used to being the one who has to make decisions all the time.

Luke doesn’t push it, only gives Calum a kiss on the cheek, forehead, nose, lips. It brings out a more genuine smile, with lines sinking in next to his eyes. Everything will get a little more complicated from here, but Luke thinks that this is the first step in a positive direction.

Or at least he hopes it is.

The second that the door shuts and Luke and Calum have left, Ashton turns to Michael with a slightly disappointed look on his face. It’s almost unfair that Ashton knows how much that one look will impact Michael since the last thing that he wants to do is disappoint Ashton in any way.

Still, Michael is stubborn as hell and won’t back down easily, even when it’s in the face of someone he loves unconditionally.

Michael can’t believe that Ashton went forward with talking to Luke and Calum about dating without the two of them being on the same page. It’s been an ongoing conversation for the past month or so since the first time Ashton brought up wanting to make sure that they were in the right romantic relationships. Michael thought it was bullshit then and still thinks it is now. He’s so happy with the way that things are between him and Ashton now that he doesn’t want any part of having other people fully thrown into the mix.

It’s selfish, he knows it. Michael wants to love Luke and Calum so incredibly much, but yet he still has the slightest reservation that somehow this is going to absolutely ruin everything. He can’t trust either of them completely, not without knowing more about them. Which he knows that’s the whole point of trying to date each of them, but still. It’s a bad idea and Michael is sure of it.

“That was pretty rude, don’t you think?” Ashton hisses, sending a pointed glare at Michael. It’s loaded with frustration and a bit of confusion, sending Michael into defense mode.

“You’re the one who just brought that up as if we were on the same page. You know how I feel about this, Ashton. I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

“Newsflash Mike, there’s more than just us to think about now. There are four of us and we all have equal standing ground in the soulmate situation. The world doesn’t revolve around you.” The heat in Ashton’s tone is unusual, clipped words and an aggressive stance. He takes a grounding breath and closes his eyes, but Michael is bordering on seeing flames right now.

“You don’t think I know that? But you’re the one trying to leave me behind for a newer, shinier toy,” Michael replies angrily, raising his eyebrows to challenge him.

Ashton visibly deflates, not taking the bait of starting a full blown argument. That pisses Michael off even more, knowing that Ashton knows him well enough to stop a trainwreck before it even happens. Sometimes he just wants to get pissed off and yell for a bit before they can calm down and make it up to each other.

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” Ashton says quietly. It’s like all his willingness to fight left him the moment the words left Michael’s mouth.

Is that what he thinks? He really isn’t sure, having just said it in the heat of the moment. But the more that Michael thinks about it, the more that he thinks it actually might be true. Is Ashton giving up on Michael because there are suddenly some new, better people around? Someone who will be better for Ashton and give him things that Michael can’t?

He’s fucking terrified of losing Ashton, losing the first real place that he feels like he belongs. It may have only been a few months, but Michael can’t imagine a world where Ashton isn’t right by his side, guiding him with a steady hand on the small of his back and reassuring words whispered into his ear. What happens when Ashton starts doing that with Calum and Luke and leaves Michael to fend off his demons on his own? He’s not strong enough to keep them from getting into his brain.

“Mike,” Ashton says. Michael is suddenly aware that he’s standing in the doorway to the kitchen still, hand wrapped around the moulding to anchor himself or else he’ll float away.

“It’s fine,” Michael replies, turning to go into the kitchen. He counts to five, knowing that Ashton will be right behind him. Predictable asshole.

Sure enough, he is. “Hey, can we please talk about that?” Ashton asks, sitting at the barstool and waiting. If there’s one thing Ashton is good for, it’s waiting until Michael is ready to have a discussion. He learned early on that Michael shuts down far too easily, something he’s still trying to work on. Michael doesn’t want to be the one causing communication issues, but he needs time to sort through his thoughts before continuing a conversation. He asks before jumping into a conversation and is more than willing to take a few steps back to let Michael collect himself.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Michael says, more tired than anything else. He can’t help the way that he’s feeling, despite knowing, or at least hoping, that Ashton loves him as deeply as Michael loves Ashton.

“There absolutely is. I don’t love that you think that I would throw you away the second that someone new came into the picture. What makes you think that I would do that?”

If Michael thinks about it, he knows that it’s not a possibility. Ashton doesn’t move on quickly, but instead is deliberate and intentional with everything he does. He spends extra time to make sure that every spot in the kitchen is clean after dinner. He makes the bed perfectly every single day. He makes Michael talk through all of their issues and points of confusion. He wouldn’t be the one to jump ship quickly, that would be Michael.

But still, Michael harbors insecurities that he can’t help. He knows that he’s not the perfect person; he has his faults and he screws things up all the time. He’s loud and messy and inconsiderate and gets angry way too fast. He wouldn’t blame Ashton for taking a step away when someone else walked into the picture. Or, when two people step into the picture.

“I don’t actually think you would…” Michael trails off, pouring himself a glass of water for something to do with his hands. They shake slightly around the glass as he takes a long sip.

“Okay, I’m glad to hear that, but it still doesn’t really make sense that you would be worried about me leaving you for Luke or Calum. They’re just as much your soulmates as they are mine.”

Michael sighs. “You want to try dating them, that pretty much says enough. You’re going to end up liking one of them more and I’m going to end up alone.”

Ashton closes his eyes like he’s in pain and Michael recoils, biting back the need to apologize profusely for hurting him. He’s never been a people pleaser before, often throwing out insults and harsh words with no concern for other people’s emotions. But Ashton makes him second guess it all, wanting nothing more than to bring the charmed grin to Ashton’s face rather than bring him any sort of discomfort.

“I’m really sorry you feel that way. But I can promise you that I won’t be leaving you for them. I need you to remember that we’re all soulmates, so this isn’t an all or none situation. We’re all in this together, but you and I? We’re never not going to be together, okay? We were together first and it would take a hell of a lot more than two more soulmates to tear us apart. I love you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t also love them too.”

He knows Ashton is right, but it isn’t easy to accept. Michael is terrified of getting to know the other two better and maybe finding that he also likes them too much. Hell, he already knows that he likes Luke with how much they played games together over the break and sent each other stupid memes. He’s had less interaction with Calum, though they immediately got along without any awkwardness from that first meeting.

Ashton tends to know best about almost everything. Maybe this won’t be the end of the world, but instead a chance to have more love in his life, like he had said when Michael came home the first night in a panic about having a second soulmate. If only Michael could go back to that day and tell himself that he has a storm coming later.

“I know. I just. I don’t like it? I’ll do it if the others agree to it, but I don’t like it,” Michael says, chest heaving with a sigh. At that exact moment, Ashton’s phone lights up.

“Well, I guess we’re trying it out then, because that was Luke. Calum agreed to seeing how this goes.”

Ashton is smiling like he’s won the lottery, so it’s hard for Michael not to be at least a tiny bit excited about the situation. It isn’t what he wants, but being with someone else in a working adult relationship involves give and take, so this is one of those things that Michael will have to accept for now.

Best case scenario, they try dating and it fails miserably, resulting in the existing couples continuing on with the extended friendships of the soulmates staying consistent. Worst case scenario, there ends up being some kind of complicated feelings involved with all of this. Michael knows what side he’s leaning towards, but he’s going to give it his best shot, if only for Ashton’s happiness.

Seeing the discomfort on Michael’s face, Ashton’s light dims a little bit. It’s only the slightest amount, but Michael still feels guilty for bringing him anything less than happiness. Ashton gets off the barstool, coming around to where Michael is standing. He wraps his arms around Michael’s body, holding him tight and close. Ashton’s heartbeat thumps on steadily under layers of clothing, soothing the last of Michael’s tense energy.

Ashton uses his hand to tilt Michael’s chin, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. Even after almost four months of being together, the slightest of gestures never fails to make Michael’s heart flutter, threatening to escape and run away to Ashton’s chest, finding residency next to his own heart.

“Thank you for doing this for me. I promise it’ll be worth it. Now, hot chocolate? I think we deserve something sweet,” Ashton whispers, searching Michael’s face for some kind of reaction. He starts turning to the stove before Michael even has a chance to reply.

Things are about to change, Michael can feel it. For better or worse, things are about to get very complicated.

First dates are insanely more nerve wracking when you have something to lose if it all goes wrong.

For the better half of the past ten minutes, Luke has been sitting in his car, hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel, unwilling to even put the key in the ignition. He’s supposed to be meeting Ashton for their date in just a bit, but he’s glued to his spot and can’t seem to get unstuck.

He glances down at his phone, scanning over his last text from Calum one more time for reassurance.

“I love you, have fun. I’ll see you when you get back”

With a deep sigh, he starts the car. He spends the entire drive to the apartment shaking. Logically, he knows that there is nothing to be worried about since it’s just Ashton, but this also marks the first time that he and Ashton will be alone together in person. They’ve spent more than enough time texting, but there’s something different about sitting together in a restaurant. The idea of having Ashton’s full, undivided attention on Luke and nothing else makes him nervous.

It’s like the first day of school jitters laced with first date nerves and a touch of talking to your crush for the first time after watching them from afar. Through the little time Luke has known him, he’s always been drawn to Ashton. There’s something that reminds Luke of his older brothers in the way that he cares for each one of them and tries to make sure that they’re all living their best lives. He texts Luke at night when it’s getting too late just to make sure that he’s going to bed and offers to bring him coffees when he’s spending excessive amounts of time in the library. He gives solid advice whenever Luke isn’t sure what he should be doing and he has the most infectious laughter that makes everyone around him laugh.

Luke is enamoured.

Which makes this whole situation even more terrifying because Luke wants it to go right so badly. Whatever right is, because Luke still isn’t sure what he wants from this. It’s all about testing the waters, which is scarier than it really should be.

Luke pulls up in front of the apartment and parks in the spot he’s claimed as his own. He sits in the car silently for a minute, hoping that with some deep breathing, he can get his shaking hands under control. He doesn’t want Ashton to think he’s having second thoughts about the date, but he’s just so damn nervous.

In the end, Luke doesn’t have time to even figure it out because Ashton taps on the car window and Luke lets out a little shriek of terror. He rolls down the car window with a breath of air. “Don’t sneak up on me, what the fuck.” Luke clutches at his chest and sighs. At least now he can blame his shaking hands on something other than his anxiety.

“Sorry,” Ashton replies sheepishly, biting at his lip and smiling fondly. “Ready to go?”

Luke gets out of the car in lieu of replying, locking the door behind him. They stand awkwardly for a minute, neither one knowing what they’re supposed to do for a greeting. It really is a first date, complete with hesitance and uncomfortable energy. Ashton eventually gives up on letting Luke stand there and pulls him into a hug. The tense energy dissipates from Luke’s shoulders the instant that Ashton has a hand on him. Is that soulmate energy or is Ashton just that much of a calming force in his life?

“C’mon,” Ashton says when they part, tilting his head towards the sidewalk.

Luke follows his lead dutifully, falling into step next to Ashton easily. They don’t speak for a moment again and Luke lets his mind wander as they stroll down the street. He isn’t sure what he’s supposed to be saying right now. He knows all the basic stuff about Ashton that he would normally ask when he’s just getting to know someone, plus a lot of Ashton’s more niche interests. He could realistically let Ashton go on a tangent about any of those topics, but is it weird to walk and talk? Should he save that for dinner?

Something warm brushes Luke’s right hand and pulls him from his internal debate. He spares a moment to look down, seeing Ashton's hand dancing across his knuckles. He inhales sharply, loud enough for Ashton to hear him. He pulls his hand away instantly.

“Sorry.”

“No, I just. It caught me by surprise,” Luke replies, furrowing his eyebrows. “I- I mean, Michael said you’re not a touchy guy. I didn’t expect it. But I guess this is a date so I shouldn’t be that surprised by it, I just. You. I?” Luke stammers, tapering off at the end in favor of looking down at his shoes. Anything to avoid Ashton’s probably inquisitive look.

“I’m not, you’re right. But I also know you are, Calum said so. Thought maybe it would stop your poor hands from shaking.”

And well, cool. He did notice. Luke is a bumbling idiot who can’t gain control of his own hands and stutters through his speech and is already making a bad impression on his first one on one situation with Ashton.

“Luke,” Ashton says, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. It calms Luke again instantly and he thinks that he really should look more into what soulmate energy does to you because it can’t be that normal to be that instantly relaxed. “We’re here.”

Luke spares a second to look at Ashton’s face, catching the gentle way his hazel eyes shine in the early evening light. The sun’s rays have his honey curls shimmering and casts beautiful shadows across his cheekbones. He knew Ashton was beautiful, but seeing him in this light when it’s only the two of them shows him in a totally different way. He’s all soft lines and bright colors, drawing in Luke’s attention easily.

“You good?” Ashton asks after a pause.

Luke nods and gestures for him to walk into the restaurant. Ashton hesitates a moment to inspect Luke’s face before he leads the way, asking for a table for two. Once they’re seated with their menus, Ashton folds his hands in front of him staring Luke down across the table.

“Hi?” Luke says stupidly. It makes Ashton laugh though, so it might be a win. He smiles before he licks his lips.

“Are you always this quiet on first dates?”

Luke shrugs. “I mean kinda? I haven’t really been on a first date before other than when I met Calum, but he did enough talking for the both of us.”

Ashton nods along, looking genuinely interested in Luke’s life. “That’s fair. I would say that Michael and I were the same when we first sat down together, but we’re both pretty loud so we didn’t stop talking. Not saying that you have to talk a lot, I’ve noticed you’re more of a silent observer.”

Luke feels the blush creep up his cheeks and he looks down at the table in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“Hey, none of that. You balance us out, you know? There’s a reason why we’re all together. I just can’t wait to see what happens when you and Michael sit down together properly. Ask him about Ireland and you won’t have to talk again for the entire date,” Ashton laughs.

“He does talk about Ireland a lot, doesn’t he. Calum is the same with soccer if you get him started, except I have no fucking clue what he’s talking about most of the time.”

“Yeah, I got that much in the fall. Cal is just really passionate like that. But what are you passionate about?”

That’s a question, Luke thinks. What is he passionate about? “Uh. I play the guitar sometimes? It’s at home because I didn’t want to bother people around us in the building, but I love it.”

Ashton doesn’t try to hold back the grin on his face. “Tell me more. What do you like playing?”

And that’s all it takes to break open Luke’s true self. He finds himself unpacking boxes in his mind that he hasn’t opened for anyone other than Calum in a while. He starts building the mental home for him and Ashton, filled with the little trinkets that they both enjoy. Luke’s guitar sits in the corner of the house, with Ashton’s collection of records and Luke’s photos of his family. If he squints in the distance, he can see Calum’s soccer bag by the front door, cleats spilling out from the unzipped bag.

That last thought jars him, realizing he’s imagining a house with not just him and Ashton, but also with Calum. It’s a life with more than just Calum now.

They keep talking about anything and everything through dinner, Luke stealing fries off of Ashton’s plate and Ashton eating Luke’s pickles. It’s comfortable suddenly, sharing a space with Ashton. Luke isn’t sure what he expected on the date, but after he got over the initial hesitancy of getting to know someone new on a deeper level, things flowed so easily between the two of them.

He finds himself hooking his ankle around Ashton’s under the table in the same practiced way that he would do so with Calum. The casual intimacy sends a thrill down his spine and Ashton lights up with an easy smile. Everything is so perfect and so so familiar, like it was meant to be this way the whole time. Probably because it was, as they were destined to be together from the start.

Even with the total normalcy of their physical touch, Luke can’t help but think about how he just doesn’t want to kiss Ashton at all. He normally can’t sit across the table from Calum without spending a quarter of the time glancing down at his lips in anticipation, but he doesn’t find himself doing that with Ashton. Even now when he’s thinking about it, Luke lets his eyes trail down and he doesn’t find that same surge of want like he does with Calum.

“Everything okay?” Ashton asks.

Luke nods, gnawing on the corner of his lip in confusion. He can still imagine the mental house with them all living together, littered with their personal interests, but what does it mean that he doesn’t want to kiss Ashton? Is this confirming that he doesn’t have any romantic feelings for him?

“Hey, can you tell me what you’re thinking about? I don’t want to pressure you but I’d like to know what you’re worried about.”

“Do you want to kiss me?” Luke blurts out, clapping his hand over his mouth instantly. He’s used to being able to say whatever he wants to Calum with no hesitancy, but this isn’t Calum, and he shouldn’t be throwing out random thoughts without more intention.

Ashton lets out a full bodied laugh, shaking the table with the force of it exiting his body. “What?” he says between the chuckles.

“Never mind,” Luke mumbles, cheeks flushed again. When will he stop fucking blushing at anything Ashton does?

“No, shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh, that just wasn’t what I expected you to say,” Ashton replies, wiping a tear from his face. “Honestly? No I don’t.”

Luke lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Oh.” It’s a relief, hearing Ashton on the same page. Though Ashton thinks his sigh is a negative, immediately setting off into damage control.

“Don’t take that as a bad thing, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to? It’s weird, I thought that I would. Even when I was just seeing you in the apartment those times, I thought that maybe I wanted to kiss you? But really, I don’t? I want to probably give you a hug and stop you from looking so damn anxious, but anything more than that seems like a stretch.”

Luke finds himself smiling. “Same, actually. But you’re gonna have to get used to more than just hugs because I genuinely need to be cuddling someone at all times, otherwise I’ll die.”

Ashton laughs again, scrunching his eyes up at the corners. “Damn, we really put Calum and Michael through all that shit just to find out first that we don’t want to be romantic? We’re the worst.”

Luke joins in on the giddy laughter, happiness bubbling in his chest unexpectedly. “Shit you’re right. We really do suck. But at least we tried? That’s a good peace of mind?”

Ashton nods along, “Oh hell yeah, I would have never been able to live happily without knowing for sure that this wasn’t what we wanted. I think I love you already, Luke, but in the way that I want to protect you and be around you all the time, but I really don’t wanna kiss you.”

“Right! Yes! That sounds ideal. Like I love Calum, but really the idea of kissing you or Michael is a little ridiculous. Calum is it for me.” Luke glosses over the part where Ashton says he loves him, storing that away to deal with later.

“Hey, don’t forget we’re all soulmates here,” Ashton teases. “You’re stuck with all of us for life.”

Luke softens, looking at Ashton through fond eyes, “I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”

They finish their meals and Ashton picks up the check “I asked you on the date, I got the check. You can get our next one”. The implication of a next time has warmth settling into Luke’s heart. The section dedicated to love for Ashton grows just a tiny bit, not removing any of the love he has for the others, but simply expanding his heart further into his chest.

Waiting for Ashton is torture.

Michael has tried to play video games with no success, tried to do homework but made even less progress. He even tried to see if he could make himself something good for dinner, but instead settled on pizza rolls.

He just wants to know what’s happening on the date, wishing he could be a fly on the wall for their conversations. Are they instantly in love? Are they making out in the back of a movie theater? Did they run away to get eloped without telling Michael or Calum?

He really needs to get a hold of himself.

Just as he’s flinging himself into his fifth spiral of the night, there’s a soft knock at the door. Frowning, Michael tiptoes over to the door, ready to pretend no one is home if it’s their neighbor from down the hall asking him to watch her cat again. The thing smells and never stops screaming, he’s never watching the monster again.

When Michael looks through the peephole, he’s pleasantly surprised by what he sees on the other side.

“Calum?” he questions, smiling despite himself as he stares at the intruder.

“Hey,” Calum says with thinly masked uncertainty. “I was sitting in the dorm waiting for Luke miserably and thought hey, Michael is probably also sitting alone miserably, why don’t you go be miserable together? So, here I am?”

His self doubt is absolutely adorable, Michael decides, as he smiles and steps out of the way to let Calum inside. “Hell yeah, misery is better with company.”

Calum toes off his shoes by the door and hangs his jacket on the rack before making his way to the couch. “What have you been doing to try to pass the time?”

“Oh you know, homework, dinner, a little video games.” Michael purposely leaves out the fact that he’s spent most of his time worrying, not wanting to add to the slightly stressed out look on Calum’s face. Even with hardly knowing him, Michael wants to protect Calum from all bad things possible, shielding him away from the world’s terrors. It’s a scary thought, already caring for someone without truly grasping who they are as a person, but at the same time, it’s almost second nature, like something he can’t control.

“Video games? What were you playing?” Calum asks, tilting his head to the side like an overgrown puppy. It’s adorable, and it pissed Michael off just a bit.

“Fifa, but we could play something else if you want? I played Fortnite a lot with Luke over the winter, but he fucking sucked, so I’ve been taking a break from that to get over all my loses.”

Calum laughs, unable to keep his eyes from crinkling up at the corners. “I could go for some Fifa. I’m pretty good if I do say so myself.”

“We’ll see about that,” Michael teases, moving to get the game set up.

Time passes easily, with both of them shooting the shit while they battle against one another. Michael finds Calum is insanely easy to talk to about anything and everything, bonding over shared experiences and feelings like he’s only done with Ashton. The universe chooses soulmates carefully, and Calum is a prime example of a job well done.

It doesn’t stop Michael from missing Ashton, with his mind drifting over to what’s happening on their date every so often. He finds himself wondering about Luke too, though it’s far less often and much less nervous than his worries about Ashton. He’s stupidly attached to the two of them already, wishing they were sitting on the couch next to him and Calum.

He doesn’t end up needing to long for his missing pieces for too long, as they’re ripped from their game unexpectedly by Ashton shouting “Hey!” over the sound of the TV, taking them out of their video game world. Calum whips his head around in terror while Michael almost throws his controller at the chair in his haste to get up to greet Ashton.

“You’re home!” Michael cheers, coming over to give Ashton a hug and a gentle kiss on the lips. Ashton settles his hand on Michael’s back under his hoodie and rubs at his skin softly, reassuring him that he’s here without even needing to say a word. Michael shivers, smiling into Ashton’s neck when he ducks to place a kiss there.

“Do you welcome him like that every time?” Calum laughs behind them. For a moment, Michael could have been convinced that they were alone, just him and Ashton and no one else. He can’t help the tiny frown that makes its way onto his face before he turns around, letting Ashton’s hand stay steady on his hip.

What’s instantly reassuring is finding that Luke is all but draped over Calum, hanging off of him despite being larger in every possible way. Calum has a dopey grin on his face, holding Luke up with one arm while watching Ashton and Michael with dazed interest. Michael sucks in a breath at the tiny bit of jealousy that bubbles its way to the surface, popping painfully in the swirl of excitement for Ashton’s return. Jealous of what, though, is really the question.

“What are you doing here?” Luke asks Calum.

“Didn’t want to spend time on my own while you were out there having fun.” The response is a bit snarky, laced with jealousy and frustration.

“We played Fifa and I kicked Calum’s ass,” Michael adds in, trying to lighten the mood just a bit.

“You beat me one time out of the six rounds we played, don’t even start.”

Michael doesn’t reply to Calum’s accurate account of their time together , but instead moves to sit back on the couch, pleased by the way Ashton stays glued to him as they walk. Whether he’s doing it for his own good or for Michael’s is another story. The second that Ashton sits down, Michael throws his own legs over Ashton’s lap and curls into his side, pressing his head under his neck. Ashton’s heartbeat thumps just a touch louder under Michael’s head, pulling a smile onto his face.

Calum and Luke follow behind, sitting almost on top of one another in the spot Calum used to be taking up. There’s plenty of room for them to stretch out on, but they stay so closely intertwined. Luke presses a quick kiss to Calum’s cheek, but Calum has other thoughts, instead grabbing Luke’s chin to direct him back for another kiss, swiping his tongue along Luke’s lips.

It kickstarts Michael’s heart, aching again in confusion. He watches them, probably creepily so, but finds that he isn’t interested in what they have, at least not with either of them, but he wants to be wrapped up in their embrace as well. In a faraway thought, he can imagine being pressed up against Calum’s side with his own legs thrown over Ashton’s lap, all connected in one way or another. He doesn’t want to kiss either of them, he’s sure of that, but he wants to be right there with them instead of across the room.

Ashton laughs, shifting Michael’s place on his chest. He looks up, finding Ashton looking down at him with mirth clouding his face. Michael frowns at the joke he’s missing out on. “What’s so funny?”

“You two being clingy as hell,” Ashton says, tilting his head over to where Calum is still pressed up against Luke in nearly the same way that Michael is to Ashton.

“Are not,” Calum whines, turning to shoot a look of annoyance at Ashton for calling him out.

“Sure, babe,” Luke says, voice catching around a laugh of his own.

Calum turns to face Luke a little more, giving him an overdramatic wounded expression that makes even Michael smile a tad. “I’m hurt, you come back from being out with another man and you’re mocking me?”

Luke rolls his eyes. “That other man is also your damn soulmate.”

“And mine!” Michael complains, grabbing hold of Ashton’s hand. He gets a reassuring squeeze from Ashton in return.

“Anyway, do you want to hear about our date?” Ashton asks, taunting tone seeping through his words. What could he possibly be so smug about?

“Not really,” Calum mumbles into Luke’s shoulder, face pressed against his shirt. Luke smiles and laces his fingers together with Calum’s on his lap, running his thumb over the initials inked there. Michael is hit by a want for what he doesn’t have once again.

“So we went to dinner at Blaze,” Ashton starts, quickly getting cut off by Michael.

“You got blazed without me?” he whines, throwing his head back like a little kid.

“I told you to stop calling it that, someday we’re going to get kicked out and we’ll never be able to show our faces around here again.”

“Never.”

“Anyway! You were saying?” Calum interrupts. He’s got a tense edge to his voice, eyes calculating and sharp even across the room. The jealousy is almost palpable, sitting hazily over the living room.

“And we had a great time,” Luke tacks on with the same teasing tone that Ashton had on before.

“Awesome, cool, great,” Calum says, words dripping with frustration.

“Chill,” Luke laughs, running a hand up Calum’s arm.

“We don’t want to be romantic,” Ashton spills, bringing a hush over them all.

Michael blinks into space, not focusing on anything. Not romantic. That’s all he wanted, for Ashton and Luke to figure out that they didn’t want to be romantic soulmates. But why does it feel so hollow to hear the words spoken aloud?

It wasn’t that he was getting used to the idea of being more than just platonic with Calum and Luke, but Michael can’t help that he was at least a little excited to have a reason to spend more time with all of them. He wants to get to know Luke better, to be able to cuddle up on the couch with him without a second thought. He wants to spend nights shouting along with video games with Calum while Ashton tries, and fails, to do his homework before he inevitably gets fed up and moves to the bedroom. He still wants to wake up to Ashton in bed, with their legs tangled together and a soft kiss on the forehead.

Why can’t he have it all?

“You don’t?” Calum says, one part excited and one part… disappointed? Michael relates to that sensation greatly.

“Nope,” Luke says, popping his “p”.

“We had an awesome time, don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t want to kiss Luke. I wanted to be back here with Michael, but at the same time, I wanted to be around Luke. And you, too, Cal. I wanted the closeness of all of us together, but with Michael as the only one I would be in love with. I think there has to be a happy medium in it all.”

Michael blinks a few times, focusing on Calum and Luke across the couches. Calum looks as conflicted as Michael feels, while Luke is smiling softly down at Calum. He looks up, locking eyes with Michael and the smile swiftly changes into something nervous, concerned. Michael tries to shift his expression into something less confused, but he knows that Luke has already caught him.

“Did you… did you change your mind?” Luke asks, staring at Michael directly. Calum’s gaze shifts to him then too, first with equal worry, and then with understanding. It’s a touch horrifying and a part comforting to know that his people, his boys, can read him without even knowing him all that well. He’s gonna be in for some shit once all three can accurately perceive his emotions instantly.

“It’s not that,” Michael says softly as Ashton pulls away from him a bit to get a look at his face. Michael intentionally keeps his eyes off Ashton’s, speaking only to Luke. “I’m excited, honestly. I spent the night with Calum and didn’t want to kiss him once. But I guess some small part of me hoped that if we became something more than just two separate pairs, we might spend more time together? It’s stupid, I know,” he trails off.

“It’s not stupid,” Ashton inserts, but he’s cut off by Calum immediately.

“We don’t need to be romantic to want to spend time together, though. We’re all soulmates for a reason and it makes sense that we all want to spend time together. And we might be able to balance each other better, right? Like Luke wants to cuddle all the damn time, which isn’t a bad thing, but sometimes I need a bit of space. It’s something we already talked about and worked through early in our relationship, but what’s the harm in Luke cuddling with Michael? And like, I’m just making an assumption here, but maybe Michael doesn’t want to hear about Ashton’s eco stuff all the time? But it’s something I’m interested in, so I want to hear you talk about it as much as you want to. We all even each other out, yeah?”

The room falls quiet for a minute, with everyone lost inside their own heads. Everything Calum says makes perfect sense, like it was pulled right from the dark depths of Michael’s mind and spoken for him. It’s immediately comforting, hearing that Calum of all people, the one he’s the most separate from, is on the same page.

“I agree,” Luke says, leaning his head down onto Calum’s. “That’s where I want to be.”

“Same,” Ashton echoes, squeezing Michael’s hand tightly.

Michael exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding, releasing all the nerves and pressure he had been holding onto. Of course they would all make their way back to being on the same page with one another, meeting in the middle on the biggest impactful decision they ever had to make. They compromised in letting Luke and Ashton try it out, and now they’re able to come to a place where they can all be equally and entirely happy with the situation at hand. There’s no resentment, no taunting “I told you so”’s, just an exceptionally easy love that threads between them all.

“Shit, we really are soulmates,” Michael says through a laugh, bringing out the laughter from the rest of the group. His heart fills with pride in making his people happy.

It’s just one step on their path to figuring out what it means to be a group of four soulmates, but Michael knows he’s learning to trust the other two and can’t wait to see where their love ends up in the future. He can’t see what’s down the road, but with these three by his side, he knows he’s going to be in for a wonderful life.