Work Text:
It was raining the day your world changed forever. It had been raining for hours already and would be raining well into the night according to the forecast. You didn’t pay it much mind, the sound was nice on the roof and it made for a cozy atmosphere as you and your boyfriend Seungcheol snuggled up in bed that morning, both resisting the need to get out of bed and face the day. You buried your head into Seungcheol’s chest as he lazily rubbed his hand up your back under your sleep shirt. It was relaxing enough that you could almost fall back asleep, almost.
Eventually however you had to get up and make a pot of coffee and face the responsibilities that were calling you. You had your latest robotics project waiting for you in your basement and Seungcheol had dance practice with the guys. It had felt like any other day, the coffee was hot in your mug, Seungcheol was complaining about his friends dragging him away from you on such a perfect day to stay home, and the rain pitter pattered against the window adding to the illusion of comfort. You had given your boyfriend a rueful smile and chaste kiss on the cheek, telling him that he needed to go otherwise you’d be getting a very passive aggressive phone call from Soonyoung.
You wish you had told him to stay.
You were downstairs in your home robotics lab working on a project for your company when the call came.
“Can you please stop hogging Cheol, I know you guys are madly in love or whatever, but we really need to practice today,” The irritated voice of Soonyoung came from the other end when you finally picked up.
You frowned as you juggled to put down the screwdrivers you were holding. “What do you mean? Cheol left thirty minutes ago,” You said looking up at the clock on the wall. “He should’ve been there by now.”
As hard as you try you can’t remember the rest of the phone call, you don’t remember putting on your shoes and raincoat and walking out in the rain and you don’t remember the feel of the rain soaking your face and hair when you found Seungcheol. You don’t remember screaming or the first responders you pushed past as you fought to get to your boyfriend.
What you can’t forget; however, no matter how hard you try, was the way he looked laying in the street, his limbs at awkward and unnatural positions, or the way the blood mixed with the puddles in the road and pooled around him. You fell on your knees next to his body, sobs wracking your body. You couldn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it, you wanted him to stand up and give you that smile you loved so much that made you fall in love with him. He didn’t move.
Someone attempted to pull you away from him, and you thrashed wildly at their attempts. They called your name, but you wanted to ignore them. You couldn’t look away from Seungcheol. They called your name again and you felt hands grab your face and tear your gaze away. It took you a moment to register who it was fighting you, but eventually you recognized the rain drenched blonde hair of Soonyoung. You hadn’t stopped crying, but the sobs rolled over you in fresh force as he pulled you in for a tight hug, trying to shield you from the scene, but it was already too late. Seungcheol was dead and there was no way to bring him back.
~~~~~~~~
Seungcheol is dead and there’s no way to bring him back. You repeat this to yourself as you lay alone in a bed too big for you. You repeat this to yourself as you grip a hot coffee mug alone in your kitchen. You repeat this to yourself whenever Soonyoung or Jihoon drop by to check on you over the next few months. You know they must be hurting too, but at least the guys have each other to look after them. You have no one. You float through life no more present than a ghost.
Staying in your house is painful with every room holding a memory that haunts you. The living room where you and Seungcheol would argue over which movie to watch on movie night. The dining room where Seungcheol had forced down your terrible first attempt at a pizza claiming the burnt crust really added to the flavor. The kitchen where Seungcheol had spilled an entire bag of flour all over you and the room in an attempt to make a birthday cake for Chan. Your lab where Seungcheol would sneak down in the middle of the night and carry you to bed when you had fallen asleep working. Your bedroom where you and Seungcheol had mapped every inch of each other in the moonlight so that you knew every touch, every taste, every sound of him.
It hurt to exist in those spaces so filled with remnants of him. His shoes still sat waiting for him in the entry hall, his clothes still hung in the closet, his toothbrush and toothpaste still sat next to yours. You wore his hoodies to bed as if they could wrap around you like his arms once did, you used his shampoo so his scent still clung to you. Some mornings it was enough to fool you into thinking it was all a bad dream as you slowly resurface from sleep, but as soon as you open your eyes the truth digs into your heart without any remorse.
Seungcheol is dead and there’s no way to bring him back. The empty bed screams at you.
~~~~~~
You’re sitting in your lab absentmindedly staring at a project you should have finished weeks ago when the thought comes to you. Maybe there is a way to bring him back. It’s crazy, it’s insane, and you shake your head as if to be rid of the thought, but it stays there in the back of your mind like a whisper.
You leave your lab hoping to distance yourself from the idea blooming in your mind, but it’s rooted there and as much as you think it’s crazy the loneliness is driving you crazier still.
You don’t tell anyone your plan. Soonyoung and Dokyeom force you out of the house once a week to have dinner with them and the guys. You appreciate their effort, but you feel as if you’re wasting away without Seungcheol and it’s only a matter of time before you’re nothing but dust. You feign improvement in front of them, but stepping back into your empty house the mask falls.
It’s crazy. It’s insane. Seungcheol is dead, but maybe there’s a way to bring him back.
~~~~~~~
Getting the equipment necessary for your plan was no problem. Your company provided more than enough for you to begin under the guise it was for a different project. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. It took you months before you were anywhere near close to being finished. You struggled with the finer details and programming, but you kept telling yourself it would all be worth it. No matter the cost, it was all going to be worth it. You would do anything to have him back.
The day you inserted the final piece of the programming, of the puzzle, you stepped back in awe as you looked at your creation. Your hands shook as you gently traced the lines of his face and ran your fingers through his hair. He was perfect.
With a few lines of code you activated his programming and before your very eyes you watched as Seungcheol came to life once again. The robot blinked as he looked at you, processing the information in front of him. “Babe, why are you crying?” He asked, and you let out a sob as you heard Seungcheol’s voice for the first time in a very long time. The robot rose from his seated position and carefully approached you, his arms, Seungcheol’s arms, wrapping around you in that embrace you had missed so much.
Seungcheol is dead but you brought him back to life.
You were basking in this embrace when your doorbell rang. Smiling at the robot version of your dead boyfriend you lead him up to the living room where you tell him to wait as you answer the door.
Soonyoung and Jihoon stand there on the other side. “Hey you haven’t been answering our calls for a while so we wanted to come and check on you to make-” Jihoon slowly let his words die off as his gaze fixates on something behind you.
“Oh hey guys what’s up,” Seungcheol says from behind you.
“Holy shit,” Soonyoung breathes out before looking at you. “What the fuck did you do?”
A slightly unhinged smile pulls at your lips as you look at two of your friends. “I brought him back, I couldn’t- I couldn’t go on without him so I found a way to bring him back.”
Jihoon stares, mouth slightly agape at the image of Seungcheol before him. You look back at the robot and smile.
Soonyoung calls your name bringing your attention back to him. “This… this isn’t okay,” He says and your smile falls. “This is wrong, you can’t just… Seungcheol is dead!”
You take a step back and frown, “No he isn’t,” you say. “He’s right here.” You feel Seungcheol’s hand rest on your shoulder and you grip the edge of the door.
“No, he isn’t. This isn’t Seungcheol, you can’t just… rebuild him,” Soonyoung insists.
“Yes I can, and I did. This is Seungcheol. I don’t care what you all say.” You slam the door in their faces before they can say anything else.
“What’s up with those two?” Seungcheol asks, looking down at you.
You smile up at him, “Oh them? It’s nothing. They’re just in denial.” The robot Seungcheol nods and gives you a small kiss on the cheek as you close your eyes and sigh. This is perfect.
Seungcheol isn’t dead, you brought him back to life.
~~~~~~
You shut everyone else out of your life from that point onward. You quit your job and disconnect your phone. Soonyoung and the rest stop trying to come by after weeks of ignoring them at the door. Most days you spend lying in bed memorizing the way Seungcheol feels against your body, the way his lips drag across your skin, and the way he says your name. You never want him to stop saying your name.
One day while you’re still half asleep, Seungcheol lightly kisses the top of your head and tells you that he has to run out. He’s late for practice and Soonyoung is going to be mad at him if he misses. You hum in acknowledgement, but barely stir. As you lay in bed you hear the sound of rain hitting the window and you sigh as you snuggle into your pillow. Your eyes snap open as what your hearing and what Seungcheol had said registers in your brain. You tumble out of bed to look at the calendar. You let out a strangled cry when you see what day it is and struggle to put on pants. You don’t even bother with shoes as you run out the front door in the rain.
The scene is scarily familiar when you arrive. Seungcheol is on the ground, there’s no blood, but you see wires and electricity sparking in the rain as his head and feet twitch in their odd position.
“I didn’t even see him, he just ran out in the road in front of me!” A driver explains to a police officer nearby.
Medical responders look on in confusion as they come to realize that the man they were trying to save is not actually a man at all. But you don’t care, you ignore them all as you fall to your knees next to the broken body of the man you had rebuilt. “No, no, no, nO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” You scream as you grab him by the shoulders. “GIVE HIM BACK! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME AGAIN GIVE HIM BACK!” You hear your name called and a hand is placed gently on your shoulder. You scream and cry and beat upon the robots chest, until arms pull you away and into a familiar chest. It’s all too familiar.
“You need to let him go, he’s gone.” Soonyoung says into your hair as he gently pets your head in the rain. Droplets falling from his hair on to the top of your own.
“It’s not fair, it’s not fair. He can’t leave me again, I just got him back,” You cried.
Soonyoung just held you tightly in the rain as the robot body of your dead boyfriend finally stopped twitching.
Seungcheol was dead and even playing God you couldn’t bring him back to life.