Work Text:
The drive is long.
It’s familiar to Kara. She’s driven it enough to know the trees that line, the houses that cluster, the bends that twist. This road feels as familiar to her as her own street at this point.
The drive is long, but it’s usually longer.
Usually it’s closer to an hour and fifty minutes but today, today it’s just an hour.
They’re meeting in the middle. Magpie Point.
Mike is at work. Kara has some time off, has shuffled tasks and errands around to clear two hours and ten minutes for this drive while Mike thinks she’s at her own place of work. He never asks what she does during her day or if she went out for lunch, so she knows there won’t be any questions waiting for her when he comes home that evening. He’ll kiss her on the cheek with a smile, sniff whatever she’s cooking with a happy hum, and offer to help out before changing into more comfortable clothing. In sweats and a tee he’ll drop down onto the couch and ask what she wants to watch on TV after dinner. He’ll ask if it’s a Netflix or a Hulu kind of night.
He’ll be perfectly lovely and normal but he won’t ask about her day because he expects her day will be like every other day, every other day that he never asks about so really what does he think she does? If she asked him, would he know the typical routine of her work day? Or does he think being a journalist is just writing in notebooks? Does he think she has a buzzfeed sort of job? Or does he know that she writes about real things that are happening in their city.
Kara never tells Mike about her big stories and he never asks, which Kara knows means he doesn’t read them.
Not like Lena.
Lena has a subscription to CatCo., only to read Kara’s stories. She gets the magazine weekly, gets sent the monthly issue too, and she texts Kara after every article she reads penned by the blonde. Lena asks questions. Lena asks about the articles and the interviews and Kara’s opinion on them. Lena asks because Lena wants to know.
So Mike is lovely and normal.
But he’s not-
Kara is forty five minutes into the journey.
She’s about to pass the field with the broken fence, the one she used to wonder about when she drove past it the first handful of times. What broke it? Bored kids? Veering car? Runaway cow? She kind of hopes it’s a runaway cow, making a break for the freedom of the matching field on the other side of the road.
She passes the broken fence.
Checking her watch, Kara shifts nervously in her seat. She hopes Lena is on time. They only have ten minutes.
Kara scoffs at herself as she turns down a smaller road. When has Lena ever been late? The woman has never been even a minute late in her entire life. In fact, she’s always early. Lena is probably already there, sitting quietly in her car, maybe catching up on the masses of emails she probably received during her hour drive.
The thought makes Kara press down just a little harder on the accelerator.
Lena had more time for today. Kara is the reason they only have this tiny blip of space in which to see each other. They’re used to full days and the occasional overnight stay, and even two entire weekends last fall. Spring is struggling through the damp ground leaving winter behind and starting the long two months that separate Kara and Lena. They’ve not seen each other since January, a series of unfair twists of fate that have ruined their plans one after the other. Sudden events, influxes of work, spontaneous days planned by spouses posed as surprise romantic gestures. Those activities and trips had both Lena and Kara pretending the stinging beginning of tears in their eyes was due to joy over the surprises rather than disappointment and yet another cancelled chance.
Two long, long months.
It would have been another month if not for the stars finally aligning for them today. It was last minute and rushed but worth it. Worth it, worth it, worth it pumps through Kara’s blood as she gets nearer to their meeting point, making her almost jittery, making her have to focus on driving to avoid jerking the wheel from the giddy thrum of her pulse.
Lena is her own boss but still can’t often decide to simply take a day away from the office. Too many meetings and calls and imminent disasters keep her bound to the building, but today she was able to get free.
Kara had called her that morning, on her way to work while feeling a lonely sadness building into a frantic sort of energy. Before she knew what she was doing she’d pulled out her phone and called Lena.
“Kara, good morning, are-”
“I can’t- I can’t do it.”
“… what do you mean?”
“I mean, I can’t not see you for another month. It’s been too long and I can’t, I can’t- ”
“Okay, okay, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay! I miss you, Lena. I need to see you. Just for a while, even just for a minute . If a minute is what I can have then I’ll take it. Please.”
“I miss you too. So much.”
“I’m driving over.”
“Darling, that's a two hour trip for you and I have a board meeting at 4 that I can’t miss. I’m sorry.”
“Are you busy before that? I’ll drive to see you before it.”
“I’m not letting you drive all the way here for just ten minutes before you need to leave.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do care. I’ll meet you halfway.”
“But your work-”
“You have work too. Can you take a long lunch break? I have space from about half one. I’ll drive down and meet you at Magpie Point. We’ll have ten minutes, maybe fifteen, then I’ll need to head back.”
“And I’ll need to get back to the office.”
“Okay. Okay. So we’re doing this? For ten minutes?”
“It’s worth it.”
“It is.”
Magpie Point is only five minutes away. Kara has to use half her brain power on not jiggling her foot in anxiety and excitement, while the other half somehow manages driving and playing Lena Lena Lena on a loop.
It’s been like this for… seven months now, give or take. It was never supposed to start in the first place but god, like moths to a flame, like magpies to silver, Kara and Lena were drawn to each other. Kara didn’t even know she was gay, still isn’t sure what she’d label herself as if she had to. All she knows is that Lena is… Lena. And Lena is someone who Kara would betray her husband for, someone she’d drive hours for just to spend the night, spend the day, spend ten minutes with.
It started with an accidental shared coffee while Lena was visiting National City on a two week work trip. The only seats available in Noonan’s was along the bar and the two had been perched side by side.
“The sticky buns go great with that,” Kara had said when Lena had ordered Kara’s personal favourite iced tea.
“Thanks,” Lena had replied with an amused smile, “but I prefer salad.”
They talked. They joked. Lena touched her hand. Kara got confused. Kara hopes the flush of her cheeks wasn’t obvious. They swapped numbers and Kara held onto that confusion for a day and a half until Lena text her asking if she’d like to join her for dinner. Of course, Kara said yes. Mike didn’t even ask who she was meeting when she told him she was going out for dinner with a friend. Wasn’t he supposed to care? Friends of hers had partners who were interested to know, some probably disguised as jealousy, others genuine interest. But Mike didn’t ask, Mike just smiled and said okay and told her to have a nice time while he turned back to the football.
So Kara went for that dinner. And at the end, outside, while she waited for her cab after arguing against Lena having her driver take her home, Lena kissed her. And Kara didn’t stop her. It was soft and tentative and perfect, and Kara felt… alive.
Lena’s hand was soft at her cheek while Kara’s own nervous fingers fidgeted before settling gently, gently, on Lena’s waist. Then, when they drew apart, Kara opened her mouth and-
“I’m married.”
God, she still cringes at that outburst.
Lena had looked shocked and stepped back, almost looking angry, but Kara reached out. She couldn’t stop herself.
“I’m sorry,” Kara said timidly, “I just- you’re- there’s something about you. I feel… I don’t understand it. You’re warm .”
Lena purses her lips but her eyes, her green eyes softened somewhat.
“I’ve never been described as warm before.”
“That’s what you are to me,” Kara had insisted sadly. “You make me feel warm. And I’ve been… so cold. ”
And it started from there. Two weeks of bliss, two weeks of stealing away from home and work and Mike to see Lena, to breathe Lena in, to wrap herself up in the woman and lose herself in dark hair and bright eyes and warmth.
It broke Kara’s heart when Lena had to leave.
It mended Kara’s heart when Lena texted her the moment she reached home.
They never stopped.
Secret meet ups for kisses and coffee, days off spent in each other’s arms, stolen afternoons and carefully arranged nights, all of it made Kara feel alive. But it wasn’t the sneaking or the cheating that made Kara burn with electricity, it was Lena.
The cheating she could do without. It left her with a sour stomach once the warmth of Lena was gone. It left her feeling guilty and rotten, a bad person who abused the trust of a good man. But the longer it went on, the more Kara started to believe that maybe Mike knew. Or at least, wouldn’t mind if he knew. She gets the feeling that Mike would be happier without Kara, just like she is without him.
It’s a subject she wants to broach. She wants to sit him down and talk to him about the possibility of a separation, because she truly feels he’ll be just as better off as she would be if they were to part ways. She just has to find the courage. And a way to break it to her own family. God, she can feel her family’s disappointed surprise from here.
But even if she did leave him, even if she got through all that, there’s still the matter of James.
Because Kara’s not the only one tied up in something she wants to leave.
And what’s worse, Kara knows James. He’s an old fling, a flirtation that never really left the ground, but at some point he’d moved and then lo and behold, happens to be dating Lena Luthor. It’s some sick joke played by the universe, surely, to have an old friend date her secret lover.
She and James rarely talk, so there’s no way she could have known about Lena before they met that fateful day over coffee and iced tea, but god does it make it all worse.
Lena’s boat is not similar to Kara’s. She’s not trapped in a stagnant marriage that feels more like a good friendship than a romantic relationship. She’s in a relationship for appearances. Lena hates it. Kara hates it too.
There’s a media storm around James and Lena in their own city, apparently. The news is positive when it comes to the couple, and Lena has found the positivity does her business the world of good. She’s spent years doing her absolute best to turn her family’s wreck of a company into something brilliant but no one cares, only ever keen on spreading made up vitriol about the CEO, insulting and abusing her in a way that manages to stop her progress. Lena just wants to help people, she just wants to create technology that can improve people’s lives and the medical world, yet bad media seems to halt her production lines and turn away her investors. A single date with James captured on camera had turned that around. The ice queen, preceded by a cold front was suddenly someone worth watching, a kind and well-mannered man on her arm making her appear likeable and… warm.
Kara knows full well that Lena is warm all on her own. Lena doesn’t need a man to be the wonderful and genuine woman she is.
But what can Kara do? The one time they argued about it, when Kara snapped that Lena should break up with the man, Lena had retaliated by throwing a pointed and wounded frown at Kara’s wedding ring.
She made sure to remove the rings after that.
Kara is one minute away from Magpie Point.
Thirty seconds.
Ten.
There’s Lena’s car. Black and shining in the mid afternoon sun, pulled into a small car park for what Kara knows to be a nature reserve. Her heart beats thickly in her throat as she parks her own car next to Lena’s.
A black door swings open and Kara hurries to open hers.
They meet in front of their cars. They meet in the middle.
Lips meet before a single word is spoken.
It’s soft and gentle, just like their first kiss, just like their second and third and fourth. Even their most passionate kisses are somehow still soft, somehow still careful and precious while fueled by lust. This one is desperate and warm and clinging , like they’re incapable of separating.
It certainly feels that way to Kara. She doesn’t ever want to let go. Her hands find Lena’s warmth as one slides into dark hair and the other holds carefully at the back of a smart blouse.
Lena clutches at Kara. Someone’s tongue touches at someone’s lip and suddenly their mouths are open to each other, tasting each other, remembering each other. It’s heated and needy but controlled, the knowledge that they can’t go beyond this keeping them grounded. But that doesn’t stop the whimpers, the breathy moans, the satisfied sigh Lena makes when Kara presses her against her sleek black car.
Lena’s arms loop around Kara’s neck while the blonde’s hands settle greedily at Lena’s hips.
When Kara trails kisses down the smooth column of Lena’s throat, the woman’s moan is gasping. The sound has Kara desperate to move impossibly closer, to roll her hips forward and capture more of those sweet sounds from Lena’s lips, but she holds back. This isn’t the place and they don’t have time.
They’ll never really have enough time.
Instead, Kara traces back up over a fluttering pulse back to Lena who chases her, joining them back in a kiss that pulls a soft whimper from the blonde.
God, Kara is so in love with this woman.
“If things were different,” she whispers against Lena’s lips, “I’d be telling you right now that I lo-”
“Dont,” Lena murmurs, voice heavy with sadness that still somehow sounds fond, “not yet.”
Kara nods.
“I know,” she presses a kiss to the corner of Lena’s mouth, “but if things were different, if we lived outside of this bubble, I’d tell you every day, every minute, every second.”
Lena nudges her nose by the side of Kara’s as she touches their foreheads together.
“What about when we’re eating?”
Kara chuckles.
“Even then. It’ll be so gross. Chewed up food everywhere.”
Lena moans unhappily but smiles into the next kiss.
And that’s how they stay for two minutes, three minutes, four, five. They kiss and touch and sigh and hold, the wet warmth of tears eventually tracing down Lena’s cheeks, caught by Kara’s careful fingers at Lena’s jaw.
“Don’t cry,” Kara pleads, cuddling closer still to Lena, “please don’t cry.”
Lena sniffles, tightening her hold around Kara’s neck.
“I miss you, I miss you so much.”
So Kara holds her tighter too, so tight it’s almost painful yet nowhere near close to mirroring the pain in her chest.
“I know,” she murmurs, swallowing hard. “But one day, Lena, it’ll be our turn.”
“Our turn?”
“Our turn at happiness,” Kara kisses her carefully, kisses her cheek, kisses her chin, “our turn to be together, to feel what everyone else does without sneaking and lying. It’ll be our turn to live how we want to live.”
“Do you really think that’ll happen?” Lena asks meekly, rubbing her wet cheeks on Kara’s shoulder.
“I know it will.”
They kiss for minute eight. Minute nine. Minute ten. Close. Desperate. Loving.
“I have to go,” Lena murmurs.
“I know.”
“A month,” Lena squeezes Kara one last time, starts to lean back. “It’s only a month. We’ve gone longer.”
“We have,” Kara nods, clearing the emotion from her voice before it can take hold. “And maybe we’ll find another ten minutes on the way.”
“Maybe.”
They know not to lean back in but Kara is just so tired of their own rules and limits. She kisses Lena firmly, a parting goodbye that Lena moans into, cupping Kara’s cheek.
“Our turn will happen,” Kara promises as she takes a painful step back. “I’m gonna talk to Mike soon. I can’t keep… I-”
“Really?”
Kara hates the hopefulness in Lena’s voice, almost like she never imagined Kara would leave her marriage for Lena. It makes her reach out, makes her take Lena’s hand and squeeze.
“Really, it’s time.”
“Just tell me when,” Lena breathes out, “and I’ll end things with James.”
“But, your business-”
“-has nothing on the happiness truly being with you will bring me.”
Kara has to really fight the stinging burn of tears threatening to fall. She takes another step back, and another.
“Every day, every minute, every second,” she tells Lena as she fishes her keys from her pocket, giving up and letting her tears fall. Lena smiles through her own sadness.
“Chewed up food everywhere.”
And Kara can’t help but laugh at that. She nods, flashes a watery version of the grin that never fails to make Lena beam back.
It works.
Kara focuses on Lena’s dimple as she climbs back into her car. They don’t say goodbye. They never do.
Through the windows she sees Lena rub furiously at her wet, flushed face. Kara rolls her window down.
“See you soon,” she tells Lena.
The woman nods. Smiles.
“See you soon,” she mouths.
The drive home is long. Home is a fine yet loveless marriage, a directionless heart, a home lacking the warmth Kara craves. Yeah, the drive home is long.
But one day, one day it won’t be so long.
One day, Lena will be her home.