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Even from this far across the room, you can feel Namjoon’s eyes on you, even when he pretends not to stare and you act like you haven’t noticed. You have, and therein lies the issue.
It’s not like you don’t want him to look at you - in fact, quite the opposite. The sensation of being caught up in his heated gaze only fuels the rampant desire that threatens to have you bursting at the seams, jumping into his arms at the first opportunity. But you also really don’t want him to look at you, not right now. You shouldn’t want him to look at you ever, but you had never claimed to be a perfect person.
People brush past you, the party now in full swing in celebration of your husband’s tenth anniversary of his graduation. Coming to the reunion had seemed like a fun idea until you realised Namjoon was coming, and you would have to act like a normal person for the entire duration of the party, fighting to ignore the fact you can feel every glance he passes your skin like the silk that wraps around your figure.
“Taemin, Y/N, it’s been too long,”
His voice is just as deep as you remember, and you feel it as it rocks through your body like your own personal earthquake. You swallow thickly, fixing a smile in place and avoiding Namjoon’s intense eyes as he chats to your husband, all while casting curious looks your way.
“I was so pleased to hear you would be coming,” Taemin beams at his former college roommate, “I told Y/N that we absolutely had to say hello before we leave,”
“Well, I’m here. I hope Y/N didn’t miss me too much, I remember we got a lot of work done during those study sessions back in college,” You can sense the grin on his lips, even as you focus all your attention on the wine in your rapidly draining glass, “I learned a lot with her.” His choice of words is borderline torture, bringing forth a memory that scorches the deepest part of your brain matter with flashbacks you had fought to keep long-buried. A swirling force of guilt and desire almost robs you of your breath as it creeps up your throat, and it’s only when Taemin calls your name again that you’re forced to look up, directly into the face you had tried to forget for the last decade.
“Sweetheart, Namjoon was just saying he and his wife are planning a get together this weekend,” Your husband, oblivious to your silence as usual as you become lost in Namjoon’s deep, dark eyes all over again, turns to his friend, smiling and dumb to anything that is currently going on, “You say you’ve got a cabin just outside of Busan?”
“Yes, very quaint and secluded. And plenty of tracks for you to go hiking. I remember how much you love it,” Namjoon’s wedding ring glints at you, taunting you as his long fingers wrap around the glass he’s holding.
“I don’t get to do it much now,” Taemin laughs, “Y/N hates it,”
“Yes, I remember,” Namjoon smiles, and you’re forced to look away once he catches you staring, “My wife, Minji, adores hiking. We could go together? Or I could keep Y/N company,” You look at him once more, eyes flashing in panic, though Namjoon only smiles wider. Your heart races, wondering how Taemin is failing to pick up on Namjoon’s thinly-veiled, suggestive comments, but your husband is more absorbed in the prospect of hiking near Busan.
“It would be great for you and Y/N to catch up,” Taemin glances to you and you offer him a weak smile, “You guys were so close in college,”
Brow cocked, Namjoon looks over at you, barely suppressing a smile, “We were, weren’t we, Y/N?”
You can’t speak. Your skin is on fire and your stomach is swirling with fear, guilt, arousal...you don’t even know anymore. All you know is that you need to get away from Namjoon before he says something that could destroy both your marriages.
“I need the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” You drop a kiss on Taemin’s cheek and rush off before you can catch Namjoon’s eye again. All you know as you walk away is that Namjoon is watching you, and you have a strange feeling that he’s right behind you.