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Rex stood alone in the communications center, braced against the holotable in the room’s center as he tried to rein in his thoughts. Tano’s face materialized in his mind again, a hurt look on her face, as if he had betrayed her. That wasn’t true, of course. Rex was loyal to the Republic. He was a good soldier, and good soldiers follow orders.
He repeated the phrase in his head again. Good soldiers follow orders. He was a good soldier. So why couldn’t he stay focused?
A whoosh startled Rex out of his reverie. A squad of troopers entered the room, helmets all painted in identical orange and white. The leader was saying something, but Rex’s mind couldn’t seem to wrap around the words themselves. Something about Tano? Rex tried to focus on what the other clone was saying, but the harder he tried, the more the words seemed to slip past him before he could comprehend what they were. He noticed suddenly that the voice had stopped, and all three troopers that had entered the room were looking at him. He might’ve said something in response, and he had no idea what it might’ve been, but his nod of acknowledgment seemed to satisfy them. The leader nodded back and straightened, before the group turned around to leave.
Rex watched them, and couldn’t help but notice how identical they all looked. There was nothing to suggest that there were humans under the armor, individuals in every way that mattered despite what the word “clone” seemed to suggest. Rex shoved the thought down as soon as it appeared. They weren’t individuals, or if they were, it didn’t matter. They were soldiers fulfilling their duty to the Republic.
They were good soldiers. And good soldiers follow orders.
The voice in the back of his head objected again. They were individuals. Had his time with the 501st taught him nothing? What the hell was he doing?
Rex squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, as if the thought was a physical thing he could shake. He blinked, trying to focus on something, anything, to distract him from his thoughts. He wasn’t part of the 501st, not anymore. They were on Coruscant, under Skywalker. A part of him wondered how they were faring now, since they would most likely have to deal with the Jedi Temple itself.
A smaller part of him wondered what had happened to General Skywalker. The Jedi were traitors, of that he was sure, but for some reason when he thought of Skywalker, he didn’t think of him that way. It was as if some part of him just knew that Skywalker had remained loyal to the Republic. It was probably just misplaced hope, though. Betrayal had to come from someone you trust, after all.
But, then, he’d trusted Tano, and he knew that she was a traitor. He’d known what he had to do as soon as Palpatine— Sidious— had given the order, even though he’d almost denied it at first, even tried to help her. His mind went back to Sidious. He’d realized the Chancellor’s true identity as soon as he’d given the command. A part of him was disgusted that he was obeying a Sith, but he quashed it and reminded himself that he was loyal to the Republic, whoever sat at its head.
Which brought him back to Skywalker. Tano had confided in him before, about what Maul had told her about her former Master. She hadn’t believed it to be true, or at least couldn’t bring herself to, and neither could he. Now though...
Rex stopped that thought before he could finish. What was he doing? There was a Jedi loose on the ship, and he was here brooding in the communications room by himself. He had a duty to do, orders to follow. Good soldiers follow orders.
He straightened and exhaled, collecting himself to head out the doors and join the manhunt. He took a few steps, before movement at the edge of his vision caught his eye. It was a spark, in a slow fall from the hole in the ceiling onto the holotable below. Rex stopped and stared at where it landed, contemplating. He really should be out looking for Tano. But in this state, with his thoughts bouncing around everywhere despite his attempts to control them, he doubted he’d be of much help.
His gaze shifted to the holo controls. It wouldn’t take much time, anyways, to make the call. Of course he would want to check on his brothers on Coruscant. They were in the thick of the Jedi rebellion, so it was only natural for him to want to make sure they were okay.
He was worried for his brothers, he told himself. Not for his old general.
The keys clicked as he entered the frequency Appo had given him before they’d parted ways, the sound eerily loud in the empty room. Rex wasn’t sure what he planned to say, or if the 501st’s new commander would even pick up. Appo was nothing if not devoted to his duty, and Rex was sure the other commander had plenty of other, more pressing things to deal with. Rex couldn’t help but appreciate the irony, that of all places, such an obedient clone had ended up with the 501st. He scolded himself. Obedience was a good thing, he reminded himself. Good soldiers follow orders.
The console in front of him continued to chirp intermittently as it waited for a connection. Rex shifted uneasily, glad for the helmet hiding the... not turmoil, no. Distractedness was the better word for it, he told himself. He knew what he had to do, and where his loyalties lie. Hopefully, speaking with Appo would help remind his wandering thoughts of that.
The table pinged and Appo’s blue image appeared over it. Rex could make out only a bit of the other clone’s surroundings, but he could tell there was a slight haze that suggested something was smoking.
“Commander Appo,” the projection stated.
“It’s Ca— Commander Rex,” he just barely caught himself in time, “Are you busy?”
Rex resisted the urge to wince. Of course he was busy. They were in the middle of a war, after all.
If Appo was annoyed, though, he didn’t show it. “I can spare a moment,” he responded, “we’ve just finished clearing out this level,.”
Rex tried his best to ignore the sinking feeling that had suddenly taken hold in his gut at that. “You’re in charge of clearing the Temple?”
Appo nodded, before turning away for a moment to bark orders at someone behind him. He looked back at Rex. “We’ve met some resistance already, but Lord Vader expects most of the Jedi might have moved to the upper levels. He and the rest of the legion are dealing with them now.”
Another Sith? The sinking feeling in his gut was beginning to turn into a knot of something that might’ve been dread. He told himself he didn’t know why. He was loyal to the Republic, Sith or not. Yet something compelled him to ask, “Lord Vader?”
“Lord Sidious’s second-in-command,” came the reply, “We answer to him now.” Rex nodded slowly, not really sure how to respond. Sidious’s second-in-command. Rex already knew, had always known, in a way, but even still he felt a new wave of dread twist his stomach. It was as if he was receiving a piece to a puzzle he’d already solved, as hard as he’d tried to deny it. He should be glad, he told himself. His old general, friend even, had remained loyal to the Republic. He’d known that almost instinctively as soon as Sidious had commanded him to execute Order 66.
He swallowed against the nausea that pricked the back of his throat before opening his mouth to respond, then shutting it again, still not knowing what to say. What was his problem? He was loyal to the Republic, and he was glad that Sky... Vader was, too. Rex was a good soldier, he reminded himself yet again, pushing down his wayward thoughts as soon as they could appear. He was a good soldier, and good soldiers followed orders.
Rex was about to reply when the hologram in front of him straightened and turned to look at someone to the side. A voice spoke as a hooded figure stepped into view. “The top levels are almost secure,” it said, “I’m needed elsewhere. You’re in charge here now.” Rex’s breath hitched. The small part of him that was still in denial crumbled under the weight of what he was seeing in front of him. He forced himself to remain stoic, even as the nausea returned. Appo nodded and replied, “Yes, sir!”
Vader began to turn to leave, then stopped when he noticed Rex, his face just visible under the cowl of his robe. It must’ve been an illusion, between the helmet covering his own face and the physical limitations of the holoprojector, but for a brief moment the flickering hologram seemed to still, and Vader’s eyes met his. Rex wasn’t sure what he’d expected to see in them. Determination. Sadness. Maybe even an unease that reflected his own. He might’ve seen all or one or none of those things, he wasn’t sure. But as the blue figure of his old general unfroze and strode out of view, Rex was left with a profound and irreparable pain.
And he realized, as Appo gave a curt goodbye and left him alone with the steady thrum of the ship’s engines and his own shaky breathing, that he wasn’t sure whose it was.