Work Text:
And maybe I don’t quite know what to say,
But I’m here in your doorway,
I just wanted you to know,
That this is me trying
this is me trying – Taylor Swift
Ginny opened her eyes and rolled over, feeling the cool side of the bed, where her husband was supposed to be. She sighed quietly to herself and looked around the room to find Harry, but their bedroom was empty, other than her.
She carefully climbed out of bed and ran her hands through her hair, twisting it up into a bun and sticking her wand into it. She walked out of the room and into the hall, listening for some sign of her husband.
In the small attic bedroom, of Teddy’s own choice, she could hear her godson’s quiet snores. And Ginny knew that he was passed out on his bed, his arms wrapped around his pillow, and his blankets kicked off onto the floor. It was how he always slept, for as long as Ginny had known him.
In the first bedroom, James was starfished on his bed. At three, he was all limbs, wild arms and frenzied legs, even in his sleep he was always moving. He was like a Bludger on his best days, always moving and running around, a human wrecking ball. Ginny didn’t want to have it any other way, he was her first baby, and she would love him despite all of the trouble he would cause for her.
In the next bedroom, Al was curled up completely into himself. If James was a Bludger, Al was a Quaffle, solid and steady, with no problem being passed between her and Harry. Ginny smiled as he rolled over in his sleep, the blankets bunching up around him as he slept. He was dependable, her perfect little boy, her calm and steady baby who looked just as much like Harry as he did her brothers.
Ginny carefully closed the door and crossed the hall to the study. There was no sign of life, no sign of Harry.
She was just about to walk downstairs, when she heard it, the quiet creaking of the floorboards, quiet murmuring behind the closed door, small little noises that she knew well after six weeks. Ginny opened the door to the nursery, it was dark, except for the moonlight streaming in through the open window.
She stared at her husband, tall and dark and handsome, beautiful and scarred in more ways than he let on, the father to her children. Lily looked the most like her, small and pale with shockingly bright red hair. Even at six weeks old, she had Harry wrapped around her little fingers.
She was their tiny Golden Snitch, unpredictable and unknown to where she would go next.
“She was fussing, I didn’t want to wake you,” whispered Harry as she walked into the room.
“I think,” said Ginny, brushing her fingers through Lily’s wispy soft hair as she coo’ed quietly up at the pair of them. “That you just couldn’t sleep, and wanted to hold her.”
Ginny met Harry’s eyes and reached up to brush her fingers along his cheek, his beard was boarding on scruffy and unkempt compared to tidy and cleaned up. His dark hair long and unruly, he looked just as he had when she first saw him at the end of the war.
“What’s wrong?”
It was a loaded question, she knew any number of horrors could come out of his mouth, the things he always tried to hide from her.
“What if this is where it all goes wrong?” whispered Harry, looking away from her and down to Lily in his arms. “What if…what if having a daughter-“
“Who did this to you?” asked Ginny, taking a step back, and wondering when her Harry got so scared to have a daughter. “Because I’m going to kill them.”
Harry smiled and Ginny took Lily from his arms, she was still so small, so little. She was the end of the road for them, Ginny had no desire to have another baby. Three was more than enough, and they had four.
“I just don’t know if I can be for her, as I am for the boys.”
Ginny rolled her eyes, even if Harry was half of what he was for the boys to Lily, he would be the best father to her in the world. She already had him curled around her little fingers, there was nothing to worry about.
“Harry,” said Ginny, as Lily let out a small yawn and closed her dark eyes. “You’re exhausted, let’s go back to bed. Everyone is going to be up in a few hours and I’m going to need your help with the boys.”
She put Lily down in her crib and held her hand out to Harry, waiting as he looked from her to Lily, and finally took her hand. Ginny pulled Harry out of the room, pausing only to close the door as quietly as possible, before dragging him back to bed. She pulled his head into her chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She softly moved her fingers through his hair as she felt her bun fall out.
She kissed the long ago faded scar on his forehead, marveling in the fact that twelve years ago, she couldn’t begin to imagine this life for them.
“I love you, Harry. We all do."