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You are my Synn

Summary:

Synn is a young girl living with her aunt, uncle, and cousin. She is content with her life, enjoying the little things that bring her joy. All of that changes when a young boy finds her secret hiding spot and decides he wants to stay. Follow Synn and Loki as they grow up, fall in love, and face all the challenges that come with being the Second Prince of Asgard.

Update 01/24/2025:
Summary of later chapters is posted as I never finished them. No editing in Chapters 18-20 (which are the updates posted)

Chapter 1

Notes:

So I am updating the entire story, I lost a bit of motivation but I have done a lot of work on my writing in the past year and I’m excited to work on this fic again!!
I will remove this when I am caught up but you can see which ones I’ve edited so far on my tumblr @tired-truffle.
There won’t be any major story changes, just some better writing :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The high-pitched and joyful sounds of two young girls laughing filled the cozy home. Their feet thumped against the hardwood, growing louder and louder as the children entered from the house into the bakery storefront. The man behind the counter, a ginger-haired man with kind eyes and smile lines wrinkling his face, looked with loving eyes at his wife. The woman sighed exasperatedly, turning her attention away from a customer and towards the door, she knew the children were about to burst through. She got down into a crouch, intending to catch the girls before they broke her shop for what felt like the millionth time. The regular customers were used to the children’s antics, continuing with their browsing, however, the ones that weren’t looked on in a mix of intrigue and concern. The first girl to burst through the door looked almost identical to the woman ready to catch her, her hair dark and pin-straight, her eyes the same stormy grey, and her smile just as wickedly sharp. The two collided and the woman caught her, arms wrapped tight around the girl to keep her from escaping. The second girl through the door was a few years younger than the girl before, closer to the age of ten. She had unruly, golden curly hair, though it was short, it made up for the length in sheer volume. It sprung outwards, dwarfing her small frame, ringlets lining her face. Her eyes were similar to that of the other girl, a deep stormy grey, though hers were speckled with flecks of green. Her cheeks were round and soft, her face youthful and full of exuberance as she chased the older girl. Her long gangly limbs were quickly thrown around the other child as she dove to grapple her in the woman’s arms.

“Caught you!” The blonde girl screamed.

“No fair!” Said the other girl, “It’s not my fault mom caught me.”

“You never said Auntie Astrid was off-limits.” The blonde girl said with a pout.

The woman in question, mom, or Auntie Astrid, stood up, hoisting the two girls up with her, squishing them together as she did, eliciting shrieking giggles. She placed them back on their feet and bent over so she was closer to their height, wagging a finger in their faces as she scolded them.

“Asta! Synn! How many times do I have to tell you both that you cannot run through the shop when we’re open?” Astrid said, trying her best to stay strict, though unable to hide the small hint of a smile as she looked at their grinning, yet bashful, faces.

“Sorry, mom.” The first girl, Asta, said, shining her best apologetic smile at her mother, clasping her hands together in front of her chest in her best show of innocence.

“Sorry, Auntie Astrid” The second girl, Synn, looked sheepishly at the ground, “we got caught up playing and Asta is so fast! I knew you’d be able to stop her for me.”

Astrid tutted at the children, honestly, they were aging her faster than she had expected.

“Well, you two are already here so we may as well put you to work, it’s only fair to make up for the disturbance you both just caused to our poor customers,” Astrid said, much to the dismay of the two girls.

“But mom,” Asta whined, stamping her foot on the ground and poking out her bottom lip in a pout, “we weren’t done playing yet, I was going to beat Synn!”

“You can finish up later. Maybe next time this will make you think twice before you two come rushing in here like rampaging Bilgesnipes.” Astrid had an air of finality to her voice that both children knew meant there was no getting out of the punishment. Maybe one day they would learn to avoid Astrid when they wanted to play.

“Asta, you will join me at the counter, and Synn, help your Uncle Birger in the kitchen.” 

Both girls reluctantly headed off to do their separate tasks. The customers who had amusedly watched the spectacle went back to their shopping. Before walking into the kitchen, Synn looked back at her cousin and stuck her tongue out, quickly running into the kitchen after her uncle. Asta didn’t have time to retaliate but she was sure that she would get Synn back sooner or later. There were a few perks to being the oldest, overpowering her younger cousin was one of them.

Her uncle gave Synn a knowing smile, putting her on top of a stool and instructing her on how to knead the dough for the many loaves of bread they cooked daily. He’d done this with her many times before, but he found a gentle reminder to be conducive to a safe kitchen environment, especially when Synn was still easily excitable from playing with her cousin.

Later that evening, the girls were being tucked into bed. It had been a busy day at the shop and the family had worked until they could barely move. They ate their dinner in silence before the adults rushed the children to sleep. Synn had flour scattered throughout her hair and covering her face. She had accidentally knocked a bowl of white powder onto her head when she had tried to reach for it on a shelf that was just out of her reach. She was too tired to do much more than shake it out the best that she could and promise Astrid that she would wash it tomorrow. Tomorrow was their day off, they always closed once a week to teach the girls a watered-down version of what the wealthier children would learn in school. Synn enjoyed the time to relax, but sitting still at the table was not something she was particularly good at. On top of that, writing did not come easy to her, the words seemed to swim around the pages, turning it all into gibberish. The only topic that Synn was able to fully focus on was Herbology, the study of plants. Stacked beside her bed were old gardening books that used to be her father’s. If she was not as tired as she was, she would likely have read through the well-worn pages until she fell asleep, the book's comforting weight on her chest. She liked to imagine it was her father wrapping his warm arms around her in a comforting embrace, lulling her into a deep and restful sleep.

That particular book was easy enough for her to read. New books she was given on learning day were just that: new. Synn had already read through the gardening book countless times and it made her feel secure that she could read them with ease, already knowing what they were going to say. She liked to imagine a deep voice in her head, reading to her as she wished her father could have. As Synn was climbing into bed beside Asta, the thoughts of her parents filling her head, she turned to her Aunt Astrid.

“Could you tell us the story of my parents?” Synn asked. With a soft smile, Astrid turned and looked at Synn, seeing the hope in her eyes, and knowing she was not going to be able to deny her sweet niece what she asked, nor her own daughter who was looking up at her just as expectantly. Being the older of the two meant she had taken on the role of big sister. She knew how much hearing the story of her parents meant to Synn, and she would move Valhalla and Hel before she let Synn be denied this wish. Astrid sat down beside the bed with a sigh, the bustling noises of Birger cleaning up after dinner filling the silence.

“Your parents were some of the bravest people I have ever met. While my brother, your father, was the oldest in a family of Bakers and would have inherited this shop, there was a spark to his soul that would not let him rest until he had fought against injustice. Our parents were sad to see him go off to train with Odin’s Army but knew that the kindness in his heart would guide him to make the right decisions. He had always taken time and care to look after those around him, including the small garden he tended to with pride. He would pour over that book constantly, wanting to take the best care of his beloved plants, he believed all life was important, no matter how small. He left the garden in my care when he left home, but he had to do what he believed to be right, and that was to protect Asgard.” Astrid tucked both girls in, wrapping them in their cozy blankets as she spoke.

“The training camp was where your father met your mother. Your mother was the same in nature to him and yet she could not show it as freely as your father. She came from a long line of noble warriors who passed their skills down to the eldest daughter of each generation. She had been taught to fight since birth and was cunning as well as strong. She knew how and when to pick out her enemy’s weaknesses and was someone to be reckoned with. Yet inside her, there was the same strong sense of compassion and loyalty that was present in your father, much like what I see growing in you, Synn.” Astrid scrunched her nose, lightly tickling Synn’s sides. Synn gasped and shimmied away from her aunt, Asta laughing from her bed.

“They loved each other from the moment they met, though neither of them would admit their feelings,” Auntie Astrid continued, “they were both strong-willed, which could be used to their advantage, however in this case, their stubbornness was working against them. Eventually, after much convincing from me, your father started courting your mother. While your mother tried to keep her impervious reputation about her, she could not help but give in to his romantic gestures. He loved all of her, the strength with which she fought, and the love she held in her heart. They fought many battles together during their courtship and marriage, their love for each other only strengthening their skills on the battlefield. They married in a beautiful ceremony, promising themselves to each other through the traditional act of handfasting. When you’re older I will teach you their vows, their promises of love and wisdom are what every couple should strive for.”

“They quickly climbed the ranks, but all of that was put on pause when your mother became pregnant with you, Synn.” Astrid ran her long fingers through the young girl's hair, forgetting the flour that was still coating it, getting it all over her hand. Synn did not seem to notice, completely enwrapped in the story.

“They realized that even more than wanting to win battles for the betterment of Asgard, they wanted to be there for you.” Astrid discreetly wiped her flour-covered hand on Synn’s pillow, she would clean it tomorrow, “They took up positions for training new recruits, still being able to use their skills to help defend their home while also being present in the preparation for you. When your mother gave birth to you, she was beyond ecstatic that she had a daughter that she could one day pass on her heritage too. You were their entire world and they would do anything they could to protect you. I'll never forget the look in my brother’s eyes when he held you for the first time.” Astrid stared wistfully out of the bedroom window. “You meant everything to him. If you take away anything from this story, I want you to know that you were loved from the day you were born and that that love will never fade. The love a parent has for their child is something that stays with you in death as it does in life.”

Synn’s eyes had begun to close, this was a story she had heard many times before, nothing made her feel safer than hearing of her parents’ love for her. She had no memories of them, the stories her aunt told her were all she had. Asta watched her cousin, wishing she could help her meet her parents just once. Though she still wanted Synn to stay with them, who else would play tag with her in the middle of the bakery?

“You were only a year old when word came that Asgard required help in the war against the Frost Giants. Your parents knew what they must do. Not only did they feel a sense of duty for Asgard, but they felt the need to protect you. They placed you in my care, kissed your soft little head, and fought their hardest to make the world a safer place. We could not have known that they would be lost in the battle, many hearts broke due to the cruelty of the Frost Giants. Yet I know they did not regret their decision, their sacrifice had not been in vain. The Frost Giants were defeated and the Nine Realms were safe once more. They created a home for you and I am sure they are watching over you every day. While they may not be here to tell you themselves, I can tell you that they love you more than words can ever express.” Astrid finished the story as Synn’s eyes closed and her breathing slowed. Astrid got up to quietly creep out of the room, thinking Synn was asleep. Asta was still sitting upright in her bed, not yet wanting to go to sleep. To both of their surprise, Synn was still awake.

“Do you think I will find them again someday?” She asked, her voice soft and sleepy.

“In good time, they will welcome you with open arms. For now, both of you should get some rest,” Astrid stared pointedly at her daughter, “you’ve got to go to bed so you can be ready to learn tomorrow.”

“Yes, mom.” Asta snuggled into bed, a yawn stretching across her face.

“Goodnight.” Synn no longer heard the conversation, she had already drifted off, images of her parents, and the life they could have had, rocking her to sleep.

 

Notes:

I hope you liked it! Let me know in the comments :)

This chapter is the shortest one, there is much more to come!

It's a vague remake of one I tried to write in 2013, but hopefully, my writing and characterizations have improved since then!

I have basically every chapter already written (draft version) so I'll be editing and posting at least once every week :)

Chapter 2

Summary:

Synn meets an odd young boy who won't leave her alone

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Synn could barely contain her energy. She was wiggling around in her chair, despite having been reminded many times to sit still. They were learning mathematics, something she had absolutely no interest in. The boredom made her feel antsy and anxious. She felt that if she had to sit there and listen to Uncle Birger drone on about numbers and equations for one more minute, she was going to tear her hair out or bang her head against the table. Maybe even both. 

Uncle Birger sighed, he knew Synn wasn’t doing it on purpose, but he wished she would listen. He was pretty sure that she hadn't retained a single thing he had said all day. He could see the dazed look in her eyes that meant she was off in her own little world, daydreaming again, only to come back to the present when he got her attention and immediately become restless. No matter how hard he tried, he was never able to get her to focus. He knew she had trouble with reading, the way she described it, like letters came alive and danced around the page, teasing her as she tried to make sense of it, he couldn’t blame her for getting frustrated. 

“Okay,” Uncle Birger finally relented to Synn’s relentless energy, “that will be all for today, you are both free to go.”

“Thank you, Uncle Birger!” Synn exclaimed, hopping up from her chair. 

“Can I go play with Frida?” Asta asked her father as Synn bolted for her room. 

“Of course, you can.” He told his daughter.

“And be safe, Synn! Make sure you’re home before dark!” He called as he watched his niece scurry away with her box of gardening tools. Synn didn’t look back as she ran out of the door, shouting an unintelligible acknowledgment as she did. He pinched the bridge of his nose, that child would be the death of him yet. 

Synn ran as fast as her legs could carry her. They lived close to the edge of the city, near the large forest that ran around the main town. She followed her usual path until she got to the marker, a cut-down tree stump with an ‘S’ she had carved into it. From there, she ran through the trees until she could not run any longer. It was only about ten minutes from her house, however, her father’s box of gardening tools was quite heavy. 

She could have made a garden for herself in the patch behind the bakery that her father had used, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask her aunt to give up tending to the one personal thing her father had left for his sister. She was more than okay with using her father’s gardening book to forge her own path. She only knew her father through the stories her aunt told her. While it saddened her to have had to grow up without her parents, she loved her Aunt Astrid and Uncle Birger just as much as she did them.

When she made it to the small clearing, she caught her breath and knelt down beside her small garden. Once her breath had returned to a regular pace, she began examining her plants. She quickly lost herself in their care, making sure they were well watered and had enough nutrients. She had a variety of flowers in her garden and one small berry bush. It was all she had been able to scrounge together with the tips she received from customers at the bakery. All she had to do was act cute and innocent when giving them their baked goods and they would leave her something extra. Her aunt and uncle would laugh to themselves, amused at how easy it was for Synn to charm the customers, knowing that she was not as innocent as she acted. Not a diabolical scheme, but funny nonetheless. 

Her favourite flowers were ones she had received from her aunt and uncle for her last birthday. They were called Moonflowers and just like the name would suggest, would only bloom under the moonlight, specifically the full moon. She loved to come out during the full moon and sit in awe as the flowers would open up and shine in the dim light. The only problem was that she wasn’t allowed out at night on her own, her aunt and uncle had made it very clear it was dangerous for her to be alone at night. That would have been fine but they never seemed to want to come out on the night of the full moon. They gave excuses like they had to work early the next day or they weren’t feeling well, and Synn understood, but she never failed to be disappointed. She had only seen them bloom twice so far, the memory of their beautiful petals opening up and revealing their hidden beauty was a treasured memory. 

Synn had taken to singing to her plants. One of the customers had suggested it to her a few weeks ago. The woman told her that plants like to hear not only her speaking voice but her singing voice as well. Synn had marvelled at the idea that her plants could listen and had taken to talking and singing to her plants, hoping it would help them grow up big and strong. She would often pretend she was talking to her parents or imagine them singing a lullaby to her as she was to the plants. She was no fantastic singer, but she could carry a tune with some accuracy. She would definitely never sing in front of people, but in the forest on her own, surrounded by the calming presence of her garden, she felt comfortable being herself. 

While Synn was in the process of kneeling in front of and singing a lullaby to her berry bush, a strange shadow fell over the garden. She stopped singing and blinked, not recognizing the odd cylindrical shape. The sound of someone clearing their throat got her attention. She jumped, having been startled by the sudden sound, falling over and gracelessly hitting her butt off the ground. 

Synn looked up at the intruder. She had been so entranced with her garden that she didn’t hear them come close. The person who had so rudely interrupted her was a boy around her age. He had jet black hair that was slicked back tightly against his head, stopping just below his ears. His eyes were a light but piercing green and his gaze just as intense. He had on green, gold, and black robes that complimented his features. He held himself with an air of sophistication, holding his head high and his shoulders perfectly straight.  He was only a few feet from her and was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak first. When Synn did nothing but stare up at him he rolled his eyes. 

“Can’t you speak, village girl?” He asked, judgment clear in his voice. 

“You clearly just heard me singing, why wouldn’t I be able to speak.” Synn retorted, sitting back on her calves. He had been the one to interrupt her, why was he the one acting as if she was the one in the wrong? She’d been using this space to garden for a few years and no one had bothered her here before, how and why had the boy come here?

“What are you doing?” The boy asked. 

“I don’t think I’ll tell you,”  Synn crossed her arms and looked away from the boy, nose lifted high in the air, “If you are going to be rude then you can leave.” 

Synn pointed back behind the boy, assuming that was the way he had come from. There was silence for a moment, the boy standing beside her, looking at her incredulously. He had never had someone, other than his parents and brother, be so abrupt with him before, let alone someone not answer his question. Who was this girl and why did she think she could treat him like any other commoner? Did she not know who he was? How much trouble she could be in for addressing him in such a course manner?

It occurred to him that he was rather far from the palace, there was a chance that the children here wouldn’t recognize him. It wasn’t every day that he was treated as though he wasn’t a prince. Briefly reflecting on his interactions with other children in the palace, he realized that this girl’s obliviousness to who he was had presented an opportunity. While he did enjoy having superiority over his peers, he did find himself longing for someone to be unafraid of him and the power he held. Getting his way was lovely, but he felt unstimulated in those interactions, with no one to use his intellect against. Finally, he had someone challenge him and backing down wasn’t in his nature.

“I’m Loki,” He said with a small bow. “I apologize for my impertinence before, I will not do it again.” The boy, Loki, held out his hand. Synn looked at him with a side-eyed glance and huffed lightly when she realized he wasn’t going to leave her alone. 

“I’m Synn.” She reached out to shake his hand. Loki grimaced as he realized that her dirt-covered hand had now infected his and subtly wiped it away when she let go. Before he could rethink his decision to pretend he was a regular child, Loki sat down beside Synn, earning him a raised eyebrow, however, she said nothing and went back to her gardening work. Her berry bush required some trimming. 

“What flower is this?” He asked, pointing to the flower in front of him. 

“A moonflower.” Synn didn’t so much as a glance in his direction. Loki reached out to touch the flower bud, tapping it on top. It wasn’t opened like the rest of the flowers, Loki figured it was probably defective. 

“It doesn’t seem like a particularly interesting flower, it’s only a closed bud.” Loki mused. Synn hummed in response, not really listening to him. She had no idea why this odd boy was still in her garden. Loki reached down, and before Synn could realize what he was doing, he picked one of the moonflowers, tearing it from the stem. 

“What are you doing!” Synn demanded, jumping to her feet, fists balled tightly at her sides. Those were her special flowers, who did this boy think he was? You can’t just pick flowers out of someone else’s garden. Loki’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, his mouth opening slightly in shock. He hadn’t expected her to react so strongly, it was just a flower after all. 

“It’s not blooming like the rest of the garden, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Loki was sincere, he hadn’t meant any harm by it. He had only been trying to find a way to make Synn pay attention to him, “I thought I could fix it.”

Synn deflated slightly, still feeling frustrated, but she could see the genuine look on his face. Had Loki never learned anything about plants? If he had he would know that picking it would do the opposite of fixing it. 

“It’s a moon flower, it only blossoms under a full moon, that’s why the petals aren’t open. They’re my favourite flower and I work very hard to keep them happy.” Synn tried her best to keep the irritation from slipping into her voice but found herself failing, “Besides, how would picking it help fix it? You’ve just killed it.” 

“I can fix it,” Loki said, matter-of-factly, “Watch.” 

Synn put her hands on her hips, highly doubting he’d be able to do anything to revive the plant, but humoured him nonetheless. Loki held the flower out with one hand, the severed stems lining up, and waved his other hand over the top of the bud. A green shimmer shone in the air as he did so, and to Synn’s surprise, the stem fused back together again. Synn stood there, slack-jawed and in awe, she had never seen anything like that before. She knelt back down beside the flower and gingerly touched the stem where it had been broken. It felt whole again. Synn glanced back at Loki who had an expectant look on his face. 

“How did you do that?” Synn asked. 

“Magic.” Loki was smug, he couldn’t help himself when others were intrigued by his skill.

“I’ve never seen magic before, can you do any other tricks?” Synn asked. She was so excited by the sudden use of magic, that she had forgotten all about her irritation towards him. She had forgiven him without thought. Not only had he fixed his mistake, but done so in a way that intrigued her more than she would like to admit. The forgiving nature of ten-year-olds had its perks. 

“Only if you ask nicely,” Loki smirked.

Synn gave him an unimpressed look, “Pretty please.”

“We’ll have to work on the enthusiasm,” He mused, “But it is acceptable for now.” He had decided that since it was Synn’s first experience with magic he would take it easy, he was enjoying the rapt attention she had just started giving him and didn’t want to scare her away. 

Watching Loki show her magic trick after magic trick had Synn squealing with delight and excitedly asking him every question she could think of. Time seemed to fly by, her garden neglected for the time being, this was much more important. 

As the hours wore on, Loki showed her one of his favourite tricks: fireworks popping out of his palm. Synn watched with rapt attention, the colours reflecting in her wide eyes. 

“Who taught you that?” Synn asked.

“My mother, she’s taught me most of what I know.”

“She must be pretty amazing.” Synn smiled, tearing her eyes away from the fireworks to smile at him. 

“She is,” Loki boasted, “what about your mom, is she the one who taught you to garden?”

“It was my dad’s interest in gardening that got me into it,” Synn responded, the smile sliding off her face, “though he didn’t teach any of it to me, I read it in his old books. My parents fought in Odin’s Army and they died when I was a baby. I live with my aunt and uncle who own the family bakery now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.” Loki closed his hand, the fireworks disappearing. 

“Don’t apologize, it’s not like you killed them.” Synn shrugged, people apologized to her whenever they heard about her parents. She didn’t understand it, she didn’t want their pity, it was just a fact of her life, “The Jotun are the ones that killed them. I don’t remember them anyways and I love my aunt and uncle, plus I get to live with my cousin Asta and she’s pretty great.” Synn explained, quickly burying the stinging feeling in her chest. She was used to the feeling, she missed them every day, while it pained her, she continued to carry it, surrounding those negative feelings with the love she had for her aunt, uncle, and cousin. She didn’t want anyone to feel burdened by her emotions, they had enough of their own to deal with, and she didn’t want people to think she was complaining about her life. 

Loki nodded in understanding. He had heard stories from his father about the war with the Frost Giants, it had taken many lives. 

The sun had begun to set. Synn sighed, knowing her aunt and uncle would want her home soon. 

“You can’t stay out past dusk?” Loki asked when she informed him of the house rule.

“I’m not supposed to be out here alone at night.” Synn shrugged, she didn’t like breaking rules. She had lost track of time before and the disappointed look on her aunt and uncle’s face was all that was needed to make sure she never did it again. 

Loki didn’t want their time together to end. He had enjoyed Synn’s company. The awed attentiveness she paid him was gratifying and he had found her honest and bubbly personality strangely charming. She was oblivious but smart and kind in her own way. She was different from those at the castle who tended to shy away from him. She was not afraid to get close to him or ask him question after question, even if he found that part a bit annoying, the pure curiosity in her eyes was endearing enough to make up for it. The way her nose would scrunch when she giggled at her own jokes or when she treated him like just another kid without fear of repercussions… Well, he wasn’t quite sure how it made him feel, but he knew he didn’t want that feeling to end. 

“Can I meet you here again?” Loki asked, “There is a full moon this weekend, perhaps you could show me the Moonflower?”

“Yes!” Synn exclaimed, “I would like that.” 

She felt excitement build in her chest as she thought of being able to show someone knew her favourite flower, only to have her bubble burst when she remembered her aunt and uncle’s rule.

“But I’m not supposed to be out at night on my own.” Synn hung her head in disappointment. Loki considered this for a moment, coming up with the perfect scheme. Schemes were his specialty after all.

“Well you won’t be alone, will you? I’d be here.” He pointed out.

“That could work” Synn smiled shyly at him. Loki was right, her aunt and uncle had not specified that she had to be with them, simply that she was not supposed to go alone. She would not technically be breaking any rules and her conscience would be clear. 

“I will see you here at sunset?” Loki asked. 

“Yes,” Synn confirmed, “I will see you then.” 

The two children parted ways with a wave, excited at the prospect of spending more time together, though Synn would be lying if she said she was not more excited to see the Moonflowers again. She had enjoyed spending time with Loki, he was a little strange at first but it seemed to her that he hadn’t had much of a chance to be a real kid. She had been taught by her aunt and uncle that children from rich families were often expected to be proper and poised at all times, showing off the best of their family. It left little time to play and enjoy things that Synn took for granted, like playing tag through the Bakery with Asta. From his fancy clothing and access to magic lessons, she assumed he must come from a wealthy home. She was more than happy to teach him how to enjoy his childhood in exchange for showing her magic tricks and allowing her the chance to see her moonflowers bloom.

Synn ran back home with her gardening toolbox, falling asleep that night as soon as her head hit the pillow, the excitement of the day had exhausted her. 

The day that she was set to meet Loki again went at a horribly sluggish pace. To fill the time Synn and Asta played around the backyard and took breaks to head into the store and talk with their favourite customers. It had been relaxing, yet Synn was still buzzing with excitement. Her family gave her some curious glances but said nothing. Synn’s tendency to have random bursts of energy made her family quite used to her behaviour. 

The girls were tucked into bed as the sun started to set, Astrid and Birger giving them both a kiss on the head before bidding them goodnight. Synn waited, listening closely as her cousin’s breaths became quieter and farther apart. Once her aunt and uncle’s door closed, the sun had completely set.

Synn hopped out of bed, hastily threw her clothes back on, and tip-toes as quiet as a mouse out of the house. While she knew she was technically not breaking the rules, she was pretty sure her aunt and uncle would change them if she was caught, and she was too focused on seeing her moonflowers again to care. 

By the time Synn arrived at the garden, panting from her sprint, Loki was already waiting for her. 

“What took you so long?” He asked, hands on his hips. “I could have been eaten by a wild beast and no one would ever know how valiantly I fought.” He mimed sword fighting with the poise of someone who had more theatre teachings than real-life fighting practice. Yes, he was a spoiled rich kid. Synn would have to take it upon herself to teach him how to relax a little. Still, she let out a breathless laugh at his antics.

“Sneaking out wasn’t easy, you know,” Synn wheezed and bent over to put her hands on her knees. “I got here as quick as I could. The Moonflowers don’t bloom until the full moon hits them anyway so we have some time.”

The two children sat down in front of the Moonflowers, waiting patiently as the moon rose in the sky, slowly casting its soft glow over the garden. Synn nudged Loki to make sure he was paying attention when the flowers started to bloom. Loki looked over at Synn, the anticipation palpable on her face. Her light blonde curls shone in the glow of the moonlight, lighting it up in an almost ethereal way. Her skin looked soft and her eyes a dark grey. Loki watched her for a moment, unable to look away.

“Don’t look at me!” Synn exclaimed, having looked over at him to make sure he was paying attention. She grabbed Loki’s chin and pointed his face at the garden. “Look at the flowers.”

Synn pointed to the flowers as the small pale buds opened up to show off their startlingly white, soft petals that were spotted with blue swirls. The center was a honey yellow, and the moonlight made it look like there were sparkles all throughout it.

“Beautiful,” Loki murmured, looking back at Synn. Her smile was blinding, and Loki found himself unable to think of much else.

“I love how they don’t open up until the light hits them perfectly. It’s like they are holding themselves back so that they can startle you with how beautiful they are all at once,” Synn gushed, still staring at the garden. Loki shook his head lightly, knocking himself out of the thoughts that had enveloped his mind.

“Yes, the flowers, very nice,” Loki said, blushing slightly as his heart hammered in his chest. Synn, being as oblivious as she was, had not noticed. 

She flopped back onto the ground, looking up at the night sky. She sighed deeply and patted the ground next to her, signalling for Loki to lie down as well. Loki did as asked and quickly found a way to distract himself from his earlier feelings. 

“What do you know of the constellations?” Loki asked her.

“Not much,” Synn waved her hand in disinterest, Birger had droned on about the stars, but Synn hadn’t been paying much attention, “Uncle Birger has tried to teach us about them many times, but remembering their positions is so boring.”

Loki chuckled, Synn cutting him off as she continued her train of thought. 

“I can’t stand being bored, I’d much rather be out here, or even baking in the store, at least I get to do stuff. Learning about the names and positions of the constellations and the galaxies they contain has never had much of a pull for me.” 

“My mom taught me stories to help me remember them, perhaps that would be of interest to you?” Loki offered, chuckling at Synn’s exasperation for learning.

“I love stories!” Synn gasped, looking at Loki, her hands pressed together, giving him her best pouty lip and innocent eyes. “Please, please tell them to me.”

“You know I did offer to tell you the stories, you don’t have to beg.” Loki drawled, a grin plastered on his face.

Loki spent the next hour telling Synn about the constellations. Synn oohing and aahing at the right moments to encourage Loki to continue. When Loki came to the end of his stories, the two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the beautiful, clear, starry sky, and the still blooming flowers at their feet. After a moment Synn spoke up.

“Thank you for telling me those stories, I really enjoyed them.” Synn suddenly felt nervous. While their relationship had gotten off to a rocky start, Synn had found that she enjoyed Loki’s company. Once she had gotten past his rough exterior, he was rather fun to have around.

“Anytime, Synn,” Loki said. She looked over at the boy beside her. His hair and clothes had been slightly ruffled from laying on the ground for so long. She found herself liking that she got to see him like this, he was so put together when they had first met, it was nice to see the kid behind the fancy robes.

“Doyouwanttobemyfriend?” Synn rushed out. She’d never asked someone to be her friend before, there weren’t many other kids her age around, and the ones that were were not ones that she enjoyed hanging out with, outside of a couple of games here and there. Asta was her friend, but that felt different, she was also her family. 

“What?” Loki looked over at her, furrowing his brow. Synn took a deep breath and tried again.

“Do you want to be my friend?” Synn asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

“I don’t have any friends.” Loki deadpanned. For a moment Synn’s heart dropped in her chest, she had thought that a rejection of friendship was possible but she had truly believed that Loki had at least moderately enjoyed her company. Loki, seeing the heartbroken look on her face, quickly realized what he had accidentally implied. He propped himself up on his elbow, turning to look down at her, one hand waving off what looked to be tears welling in her eyes. 

“I meant that I don’t have any friends, but I would like one. I would like to be your friend, Synn.” Loki grinned apologetically. He could punch himself he felt so dumb, what happened to his silver tongue? All the charm he had with everyone else dropped away as soon as he was with Synn. He had only known her for a couple of days and already she had taken hold of him and clouded his thoughts with unfamiliar feelings.

“Oh,” Synn said. They both lay there awkwardly for a moment before Synn smiled wide.

“Well I’m glad you accept, you won’t be getting rid of me now. No takesies backsies.” Synn pushed Loki playfully, making him work hard to keep his balance.

“Whatever will I do now that I am in this lifelong binding contract?” Loki rolled his eyes, a smile on his face.

“Deal with it.” Synn stood up, offering Loki her hand. Loki took it and Synn pulled him up before releasing him. 

“I’ll see you next week?” Synn asked. 

“Do I have a choice?” Loki teased. Synn laughed and shook her head. No, he did not.

Loki started to turn away, heading back home, before Synn impulsively rushed in and wrapped her arms around his middle in the most surprising hug he’d ever received. Synn was known for her tight hugs and Loki coughed as the air was squeezed out of him. It was too quick for Loki to react and before he could move or say anything, Synn was running off, but not before shouting back at him.

“Thank you for being my friend!”

Synn didn’t look back, running until she reached the path and then walked the rest of the way home. If she had she would have seen Loki, standing in the opening, with a wide smile covering his face. She was awkward but sweet and Loki had to admit that she had a certain charm to her. She was easy to get along with and Loki found he couldn’t imagine not wanting to be around her, her simple joy giving him a view of life he hadn’t known he needed. 

When Synn arrived home, she opened the door as quietly as possible, tip-toeing across the creaky wooden floor. She was almost in her bedroom, thinking she had made it undetected when a light flicked on in the kitchen. The light lit up the room, illuminating the figure of her aunt sitting at the kitchen table, her face set in disappointment. 

“And where have you been?” Astrid asked, her voice implying that she was well aware of where Synn was. Synn, knowing she wasn’t going to get out of this, gave her aunt her best innocent smile, looking coyly up at her through long, dark lashes.

“Sleepwalking?”

Notes:

Synn has Dyslexia and ADHD, thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Chapter 3

Summary:

In which Synn learns about the Royal Family

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Synn had been grounded until the start of the following weekend. She had moped about, worried about how her garden would fair without her. Her aunt and uncle almost broke their punishment, hating to see her so downtrodden, but they needed her to see that there were consequences to dangerous actions. Going out in the forest alone at night was never something a young child should be doing, no matter how safe the small forest was. 

Luckily, Synn had arranged to meet with Loki the day her grounding was set to end, pleased that she would at least be able to see her new friend. She hadn’t told her family about him yet, they would only ask questions she wasn’t ready for and demand to meet him themselves. They meant well, but Synn found their overprotectiveness to be suffocating sometimes. She appreciated how much they cared for her, but she wanted to keep her new friend, not scare him off with her overbearing family. For now, she would stay quiet. 

Her aunt and uncle waved at her as she ran out of the house, she waved back, barely paying attention as her aunt yelled after her to be safe. She was finally free to be outside again, she didn’t much care about anything else. She arrived at the garden, panting like usual, to find that Loki had not yet arrived. She set herself down in front of her garden and started to take the tools out of their box. She was happy to see that while drooping slightly, the rain they had had that week had helped her garden survive in her absence. 

She began to bring out her watering can when she heard a small hiss come from in front of her. She jumped back in surprise as a small green snake slithered its way towards her. She yelped as it sped up, coming right at her. She screwed her eyes shut, covering her head with her hands and feeling her heart speed up in terror. The snake was not overly large, but there was something about their scaly and slithery bodies that freaked her out like nothing else. She had encountered snakes before, but none had been as outwardly aggressive as this one. Usually, they would mind their own business and be on their way, she must have done something to anger it, though she had no idea what. 

She waited with bated breath for whatever the snake was going to do to her. It wasn’t until she felt the light breeze of wind in front of her and the sound of familiar laughter reverberating through the clearing that Synn opened her eyes. 

Loki was standing in front of her, hunched over with hands on his knees, his body shaking with laughter. Synn quickly looked around for the snake but it was nowhere in sight. 

“You should have seen your face!” Loki caught his breath, still chuckling lightly, tears of mirth shining in his eyes.

“Where did the snake go? Did you see it?” Synn asked, too distracted to greet her friend. 

“Let me show you.” Loki straightened up and bowed deeply. Before Synn could ask what he was doing, a green flash of light surrounded him. Loki had disappeared and the little green snake was back in his place. 

Synn’s mouth hung open in shock before she shook herself out of it. She crouched down to get a better look, now that the snake was no longer moving at top speed towards her. The snake lifted its head up and made a disjointed hissing sound that reminded Synn of laughter. Synn gently poked the snake on the head, laughing when its little tongue darted out to poke her back. 

“Loki?” She asked, disbelieving that the snake could be her friend, but unable to find any other plausible answer. She still did not know the full extent of his magical ability, for all she knew shapeshifting was a common practice of magic.

With another green flash, Loki was once again standing in front of her, the snake gone. Synn quickly stood up to meet his height. He had his arms spread out, a proud look on his face. Synn decided to humour him and clapped, it was an impressive feat after all. 

“How did you do that?” She asked. 

“A sorcerer never reveals his tricks,” Loki said, a smug smirk on his face. Synn crossed her arms and pouted at him. 

“Then how am I supposed to know if you did it, or if it was the work of someone else?” She teased. Loki bristled momentarily before narrowing his eyes at her. 

“Are you trying to trick me? ” He asked incredulously. No one could trick him, that was his thing. 

“I almost had you for a moment there.” It was now Synn’s turn to wear the smug smirk. 

“Did not.” Loki turned his nose up in the air, mimicking her crossed arms. 

“Did too.” Synn shot back. The two stared at each other, each trying to one-up the other in intensity until they both could not contain the funny feeling trying to escape from their throats and burst into fits of laughter. 

“I can’t believe you can turn into a snake!” Synn exclaimed. She’d forgotten all about how scared she was moments ago, her friend was a shapeshifter and that was so much more important.

“That’s not the only thing I can do.” Loki boasted. Synn squealed in excitement, flapping her hands in excitement. 

“Please show me!” Synn stuck her bottom lip out in a pleading pout and clasped her hands together. Loki, not one to say no to a willing audience, spent the afternoon with Synn, showing her all the forms he had learned, integrating them into their games. Playing hide and go seek with a snake was particularly tricky, but the small hisses Loki gave as hints helped Synn with her search.

The children laughed and ran all afternoon until their feet could carry them no longer. Synn took the break in energy to tend to her garden, telling Loki facts about the plants. He sat and listened, watching her work, until the sky began to darken. It was a nice break for both of them, Synn was excited to have someone new to ramble on to about her knowledge of plants, and Loki was pleased to relax and enjoy the passion in Synn’s voice as she spoke, not to mention be constantly flattered by Synn as she admired his skill. He found he enjoyed Synn’s interest in him more than the children at the palace. With Synn it felt genuine, not forced like it was with the others. He felt like Synn not only enjoyed magic but enjoyed that it was him who showed her. He couldn’t help but let that boost his ego a little.

Synn was not going to risk being grounded again. She packed up her tools, wishing that the sun could stay out longer, before saying her goodbyes. They promised to meet back in their spot a week from that day, Loki already thinking of new ways to use his magic in their games. 

Synn once again gave Loki a tight hug that he gingerly returned, he was not used to enjoying hugs but found himself unable to resist her sincerity. His brother would crush him just to see him squirm, this was different. While Synn’s hugs were tight, they felt more like she was holding on, trying to show her affection through how hard she could squeeze. He much preferred it.

The children would continue this routine, meeting every week. Loki would show off his new magic, playing games, and ending the day with Synn tending to her garden, spouting off facts as she remembered them. 

They enjoyed their meetings, sliding into the comfortable rhythm with ease. Their friendship grew as time went on, the weeks turning into months and the months turning into years. They were content in their routine, the escape from their home lives providing them with a much-needed break or a much-needed change in company. As they aged they moved away from playing games, and instead spent hours talking about their interests or silly things they had witnessed. They were relaxed with each other, Synn trusting Loki enough to open up to him about her problems and feelings while they lay in the clearing, watching clouds drift by. Loki had taken longer to trust her, and Synn was patient. He hadn’t told her much about his family or personal life but had started to incorporate some vague details into his stories, talking about how he felt instead of the events that would lead to those feelings. Synn was happy with this, hoping that one day he would trust her enough to be truly open with her. Until that day came, she was pleased to simply be there for him in any way he needed. He was her friend, that was what friends were for.

It wasn’t until four years later that there was any change to their routine. Synn had recently turned fourteen, she was no longer the small child she once was. She had grown significantly, going from her uncle’s belly to just under his chin. She had started to fill out her frame as well, her weight settling in her hips. She knew she had more growing into her body to do, but it had all happened so fast that her upper thighs, hips, and breasts were covered in stretch marks. She had been embarrassed at first, her cousin Asta had not had the same marks as her, she had grown tall and skinny, like a string bean her Auntie Astrid would always say. Yet, as she got more used to living in her changing body she found she liked the way the stretch marks would zigzag across her skin, she liked to imagine patterns in them, and feeling the small bump in her skin grounded her in times of stress. They were like lightning strikes or tattoos her body had given itself. She had also found her strong thighs and hips were good for her work in the dirt, allowing her the full-body strength to pull out large weeds or carry heavy equipment when her arms could not do so on their own. 

Loki on the other hand had just started to hit his growth spurt. He was a year younger than her and was only slightly shorter than her. She was sure that he would be much taller than her one day, so she took this time to rub it in his face. Her teasing was good-natured, and he would not hesitate to tease her back, often making fun of the way she constantly seemed to have dirt on her face, or sticks in her hair. She swore they just fell in there and part of her wondered how many days the sticks had actually been there. Loki’s voice had started to crack, something Synn could see he was embarrassed about. It took all of her restraint not to make fun of him for that, but she had so many funny jokes pop up in her head that she would write down to remember for later when Loki had gotten over that phase of his growth. Teasing him after his initial stage of voice cracking was over was going to be so much fun. 

Her family knew that something was going on with Synn, but no matter how much they pried she would not budge. It’s not that she was ashamed or embarrassed about her friendship with Loki, she just didn’t want to ruin her friendship with him. He was still unwilling to tell her so much about him and it had been years since they’d become friends. She was sure that having her family ask him a million and one questions would scare him away. She also knew that as soon as she told them she had made a friend they would not stop bugging her about meeting him and she would have to give in.

She had told Loki all about them, as well as about her parents. Loki had been rather evasive about his family as of late, failing to mention their names or what they did, always seeming to change the subject when it was brought up. He talked highly of his mother, yet he never seemed to mention his brother and father passed than the fact that they existed. On occasion he would mention tricks he had pulled on his brother, enjoying how easy it was as he was quite aloof. Synn knew he had his reasons for not telling her and that he would tell her when he felt ready. She would be patient until then, it wasn’t her story to tell after all, and not everyone was as lucky as she was to have such a wonderful and supportive family around them. 

The change to their routine came when Birger sat Asta and Synn down for the usual end-of-week lesson, Synn already dreading the horrific and crushing sensation of boredom she would be forced to endure. 

“As you two grow older, I feel it is more important for you to know about how Asgard’s society is run,” Birger started, “I’ve spoken with you two before about King Odin and Queen Frigga and their roles in the upkeep of Asgard’s integrity and values, but I have not talked about the roles their young sons, around your ages, will start to play. Now that they appear to be coming into their powers, you girls need to know who they are; they will be your rulers one day.”

Synn felt slightly relieved, the topic of the King and Queen had been slightly interesting, their connection to her parents, however slim, providing some motivation for her. She hoped that their children would do the same. 

“Thor, the eldest, has been officially titled the God of Thunder. He has taken after the All-father in his strength and will lead Asgard in its fight to keep the Nine Realms safe. He is likely to ascend to the throne one day. As for the second prince, Thor’s brother,” Birger continued, pleased to see that Synn did not appear immediately disinterested, “He is closer to Synn’s age, and is said to take more after his mother as he learns the ancient art of Seidr. He is slowly growing into his magic and the title of God of Mischief. His name is Loki.”

Synn blinked, feeling her face go slack. Had she heard that right? The second prince of Asgard was named Loki and he was not only able to do magic but his mother, the Queen, could as well. How many magical Loki’s could there be on Asgard? Surely Birger couldn’t be talking about her friend, that was impossible. If Loki was a Prince he would have told her, right? On the other hand, he had not spoken much about his family and Synn could not help but notice that the royal family had the same family structure as her Loki. 

Synn’s heart rate had quickened, her thoughts racing in her head, and her face paling. 

Uncle Birger had continued, not noticing the change in Synn’s demeanour. Asta, on the other hand, did. She poked Synn in the leg when Uncle Birger turned his back to write on the chalkboard he had propped up against the wall.

“Are you alright?” Asta whispered. Synn looked at Asta, unsure of how to respond. There had to be other kids her age, who could do magic, were named Loki, and had the same family structure as her friend, right? 

“Sorry, Uncle Birger,” Synn said, interrupting his speech, ignoring Asta’s question, she had been unable to process her cousin’s concern over her own, “could you tell us more about Lo- about Prince Loki?” 

“Of course!” Birger exclaimed, not questioning why Synn seemed interested in that particular prince, just excited for Synn to take an interest in his lessons for once. Asta gave her a quizzical look but said nothing. 

“Though there isn’t much more to say to be honest.” Uncle Birger said, scratching his head, having forgotten in his excitement that he did not know much more about Prince Loki than what he had already said. 

“What does he look like?” Synn asked tentatively. 

Birger gave her a confused look, why did she want to know that?

“Thor too.” She added quickly. “In case I see them I should know how to act.” 

“That is a good point.” Uncle Birger agreed, “I’ve never seen them myself, but someone must have a painting of the royal family somewhere.” He mussed, thinking of where in the city he would be able to find such a thing. 

“I’ll get back to you on that one, Synn, but I’m happy to see you engaging with this lesson!” Uncle Birger exclaimed, giving Synn a large grin from under his huge beard. 

“It’s just an interesting topic.” Synn fidgeted in her chair, lying through her teeth. Uncle Birger, seeing nothing amiss, continued with his lesson. Synn had become lost in thought and was staring at her uncle with a vacant expression on her face, not that he noticed. He only talked about Thor as he was the one who had been in the public eye most recently, Synn should have listened, but found herself unable to think of anything except for Loki.

She knew she should wait until she saw a portrait of him to be sure, but there were so many similarities that were hard to ignore. It would explain why he was so evasive about his family for one. If he really was the prince of Asgard, why had he kept such a big secret from her? She had thought that he trusted her, at least enough to tell her who he was, and felt a little hurt at the thought that he didn’t trust her with that knowledge. Did he think that she would go around telling everyone? Or had Synn made their friendship out to be deeper than it was? She had never been good at making friends, her interruptions and spaciness made other kids uncomfortable and they would generally leave her alone if they were not locked in a game with her. She didn’t mind too much, she was happy with the support she had from her family, and her friendship with Loki was fulfilling her needs for social connections. Could she have misread the situation, was Loki just doing it to be nice, or was he using their time to go back to his royal friends and laugh at the stupid village girl behind her back?

 No, Synn pushed that thought out of her head. Spiralling through all of these upsetting ideas would get her nowhere. She would need to ask Loki himself. That was the only way she was going to get real answers to her questions. 

While the thoughts still circled in her brain, she did her best to ignore them for now, retreating into a familiar daydream like she usually did when the lesson was boring. Distraction would have to work for now.

At the end of the day, Synn and Asta were dismissed to clean their room before dinner. 

“What was that all about?” Asta asked when they were alone, closing the door behind her. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Synn sat down on her bed and avoided eye contact. Definitely not suspicious at all.

“You actually listened to dad’s lesson for a bit and then you were acting weird, you got all pale and quiet. You may be able to hide it from them but I know you too well.” 

“I don’t know if it’s anything, I’m probably just being silly. If it turns out to be something, I will tell you.” Synn shrugged, looking up at her cousin who had come to stand in front of her. 

Asta had her hands on her hips, a disbelieving look on her face. 

“I promise.” Synn grasped her cousin's hands firmly in her own. Asta sighed in frustration. 

“You better.” Asta pointed a finger at Synn in warning, how was she supposed to keep her cousin safe if she wouldn’t tell her what was going on? The two cleaned in silence, putting away clothes from the night before and doing a quick sweep before heading out to eat with the rest of the family. 

Synn was unusually quiet at dinner. Normally she was a chatterbox and would often accidentally interrupt everyone else. It’s not that she meant to, it was that when a thought came into her head she had a hard time not blurting it out immediately, scared she would forget it or lose her train of thought. Astrid tried to engage her in conversation about her ever-growing garden, but Synn was uninterested, pushing her vegetables around her plate and giving vague, short answers. Astrid shared a concerned look with her daughter but decided to let it be for the moment. Synn had something on her mind that she was not ready to share, and they were willing to wait for her. 

The next day went by in a blur, Synn still lost in her own head, her family growing more and more concerned. On the day she was set to meet Loki again, her uncle came home in the morning after visiting with a friend, announcing that he had what she had asked for. 

For a moment she forgot what he was talking about until it came rushing back to her. Her Uncle Birger had a painting of Loki. This was the moment she would either put her worries aside or be confronted with a reality she was not sure how to deal with. 

Asta and Synn sat at the dining table as Uncle Birger unwrapped a frame the size of a dinner plate. 

“Now it’s more of an amateur copy but it is close enough to give you a vague idea of what they look like, though I believe it is from a few years ago so they have grown since then.” He said, turning the photo around to show them. 

Synn felt her heart catch in her throat as she looked over the photo. She recognized King Odin from his statues and portraits all over town, the woman, she assumed, was Queen Frigga. She had kind-looking eyes and a warm smile. Synn was sure she had seen her before, standing beside Odin in some of his portraits and statues. Frigga was holding the shoulders of a young boy whose blond hair matched hers but had the strong jaw of his father. The boy, she assumed was Thor, wore an ostentatious look on his face, holding himself with the poise of a future king. 

They caused her no worry, their faces vaguely familiar to her. However, as she looked at the face of the youngest prince, she felt her heart drop into her stomach. He was standing in front of his father, wearing green, gold, and black robes, a light hint of a scowl on his face. His dark hair was slicked back and his light green eyes seemed to leap at her from off of the painting. He was unmistakably her friend; Loki.

XXX

Synn sprang up from her chair, the legs scraping loudly against the floor. 

“Thank you, Uncle Birger!” She called as she ran out of the kitchen and out the front door, completely forgetting her gardening tools. No one could say anything or try to stop her before she was completely out of view. Birger raised an eye at her sudden departure and exchanged a look with his daughter. Asta gave him a shrug in return, even she didn’t know what was going on with Synn, she hoped she would find out soon. 

Synn ran until she was out of sight of her house before slowing down in the hopes that her thoughts would slow down with her. She had no such luck. 

How was she even going to start this conversation with Loki? 

“Hey, nice to see you again, my best friend of four years, why didn’t you tell me you’re the Second Prince of Asgard, the God of Mischief?” Synn said sarcastically to herself. It sounded ridiculous. She was asking someone who was known for tricks why he had tricked her. It made her feel stupid and gullible.

How was she supposed to ask such a crazy question? She was almost certain it was him, based on the information she had recently received, but what if she was wrong? He’d think she was a lunatic. 

“Ugh!” Synn exclaimed as she reached the clearing, smacking her face into her hands. What was she supposed to do now, just walk up and act like everything was fine and she wasn’t friends with a Prince of Asgard? Did the royal family know about her? Or had he been keeping her a secret from them as well?

“Careful, you might hurt yourself.” A teasing voice called to her. Synn looked up abruptly to see Loki, on his stomach with his face propped up against his hands, in the grass up ahead. Synn walked up to him, wringing her hands and avoiding eye contact. Now was the time she was supposed to confront him but found herself lost for words. He seemed so comfortable with her, lounging in wait for her arrival, teasing her like he wasn’t lying by omission about who he is. How was she supposed to challenge him on that? 

Loki’s teasing look quickly left his face as he saw her anxiety written plainly in the firm set of her mouth.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sitting up and patting the grass beside him for her to sit down. Synn eyed the spot, wishing she could sit beside him and pretend that nothing had changed, but did not move from her standing position. Instead, she fidgeted with the ends of her hair, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, not moving from where she stood. 

“Synn?” Loki asked, concern in his voice, “Did something happen?” 

“Are you a prince?” Synn blurted out, finally making eye contact with Loki. Loki’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw dropped in surprise for a moment before it disappeared behind an impassive mask. 

“Who told you that,” Loki demanded, springing up from his seated position. There was an unnerving lack of emotion in his voice that Synn had never heard before. Even when he was sarcastic he held a certain gentleness that she found comfort in. The Loki standing before her was cold, his eyes untrusting as he looked at her. 

“My uncle, he taught us about the royal family in our lesson this week. He even showed us a picture, Loki, you have the same name, powers, family structure, and you look exactly like the same.” She explained. Loki’s stance softened a bit, the hardness leaving his eyes. 

“Oh.” He said, crossing his arms. Was that all he had to say for himself? Synn was still unsure why he had been immediately defensive of her question, she would ask later, she had more pressing questions. 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Loki?” Synn asked, hurt creeping into her voice, “I thought you trusted me.”

“I do,” Loki answered. He was sincere in his words, but there was more he wanted to say. 

“Did I do something to upset you? Was I not important enough? I know I can be annoying but-“ Synn rambled on before Loki cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“No, it’s not that, I just…” Loki sighed, pausing before continuing. “I just enjoyed being friends with you.”

There was silence between them. Synn wanted more of an explanation, she gave him an expectant look. 

“I don’t have any real friends at the palace. Since I’m of the position I am, no one feels comfortable around me and I don’t get the chance to be myself with anyone.” Loki continued, “I didn’t tell you because I like you and I liked that you treated me like you would any other kid. I didn’t want you to treat me like I was anything other than some kid who just so happened to be your friend. Everything changes when people find out I’m a prince.” 

Loki had an earnest expression on his face, trying his best to convey his feelings to his friend. He didn’t want to lose her. 

“So you kept it from me for four years because you wanted me to treat you normally?” Synn clarified. Loki nodded. 

“But now you know, so that changes things, changes us.” Loki frowned, pulling away from her. 

Synn felt the anxiety start to leave her as she realized that Loki keeping this secret from her had nothing to do with her. While she was still upset that he had kept it from her for so long, clearly he had never had anyone else treat him like a regular kid. Somewhere along in their friendship, he must have realized that was something he was lacking and had to hold tightly onto it.

“Just because I know you’re a prince that doesn’t mean that I’m going to treat you differently.” Synn pointed out. If that is what Loki wanted, that is what he would get. 

“That’s what everyone says, they never mean it.” Loki crossed his arms, looking away from her. Synn groaned in frustration. 

“Well, I’m not everyone else. I’ll prove it.” She said stubbornly, both children having turned away from each other slightly in their disagreement. 

“Oh yeah?” Loki challenged? “How?”

“Like this!” Synn exclaimed as she turned back to face him, balling her hand into a fist and punching him as hard as she could in the chest. Loki let out a loud oof as the air left his lungs and he stumbled back, landing harshly on his backside. 

“How many people do you know who would punch a prince, huh?” She asked, standing over him with a smug smile on her face. Loki looked up at her, surprise written on his face for the second time that day. Of all the things he had expected, being knocked on his ass was not one of them. 

“If you don’t believe me I can do it again.” She offered, winding her fist back again, ready to take another swing. 

“No!” Loki shouted, putting his hands up in front of him, “Please don’t hit me again!” 

Loki let a laugh escape from his mouth, unable to control the shock bubbling in his chest. 

“That’s too bad, I kind of enjoyed it.” Synn said, smirking down at her friend, “You could have told me years ago, I wasn’t going to let your title change our friendship. Maybe at first, I would have been a little apprehensive, but after we had gotten to know each other better you should have seen that I wouldn’t let that change my opinion of you. I’m a little hurt that you thought I would, but I understand that that was your experience with everyone else so I won’t hold it against you.” 

“How kind of you,” Loki said distractedly, rubbing the spot where she had hit him. “You hit much harder than I would have expected.”

Loki’s tone was not critical as she would have expected, but rather proud. Synn puffed her chest out slightly, pleased with Loki’s praise. 

“You’ve had it coming for a while now, I made sure to really put my legs into it.” She sat herself down beside him. 

“You can trust me, I promise I won’t change how I treat you or tell anyone I’ve been meeting you here.” Synn assured him. Loki shrugged, trying to act as though it didn’t matter but Synn could see in his eyes that he appreciated her words and that was enough for her. 

“I was going to tell you earlier, but I kept putting it off and then it had been too long and I didn’t know how to bring it up.” Loki confessed, smiling guiltily at her, “I didn’t want this to change, it’s the highlight of my week. I get to have fun with you without having to worry about how it reflects on my family.” 

“You must be under a lot of pressure to live up to your father.” Synn nodded thoughtfully. 

Loki sighed, fiddling with a piece of grass on the ground. 

“That’s what happens when your father is the King of Asgard and the person to bring peace to the Nine Realms.” Loki spat, venom filling his voice. 

“Is that why you never talk about them?” Synn asked. 

“That and I was worried you would figure out who I was if I said too much about them,” Loki sighed, “but I also liked that you did not know of the shadow I live under.”

Synn placed her hand gently on his, stopping him from fiddling with the grass. He met her gaze, a sparkle of kindness in her eyes.

“You don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to, but if you ever change your mind I am always here to listen.” Synn said softly before removing her hand from his. 

Loki smiled at her. 

“Thank you, Synn.” 

After a moment of silence, Synn spoke up.

“Why were you angry when I asked if you were a prince?” Synn gave her friend a quizzical look, “You asked me who had told me, why?”

Loki let out a deep sigh and tilted his head up to look at the sky.

“My brother and I don’t frequently get along, I thought that he had found out and told you to upset me.” Loki explained.

“He would do that just to upset you?” Synn asked. She had a hard time picturing not getting along with her family, though she knew it was much different for Loki and she wanted to understand.

“Maybe not on purpose,” Loki rolled his eyes, looking back at Synn, “but he is an oaf who does not understand the feelings of others or the impact he has. If he is to be King one day I hope for everyone’s sake that he grows up soon.”

“It’s a good thing you’re part of the royal family, calling a Prince an oaf must be grounds for punishment.” Synn joked.

“So would punching one.” Loki pointed out. Synn could see his point and made a note to herself to never punch him around anyone else, lest she be thrown in prison. 

They laughed, letting their voices echo across the clearing, happy to be able to still joke with each other. While Loki being a Prince was still something that Synn would have to get used to, she was happy that it still felt like nothing had changed between them. 

“I learned how to do telekinesis this week, want to see?” 

And as quickly as it had happened, the topic of Loki as Prince of Asgard was dropped. Synn felt relieved as she watched Loki show her his newfound skill, it had gone better than expected, though she had not planned on punching him, it worked rather well. She had worried that Loki had kept it from her because of something wrong with her but was pleased to find out that that was incorrect. While she wished he had told her a little earlier, she was glad that they were still able to continue their friendship. She had grown to care for him deeply and was not sure what she would do if that had been the end of their time together. She did not quite understand the depth of her feelings yet, having never given herself a moment to analyze the way being around Loki made her stomach fill with butterflies and her heart to bear quicker. That was a problem for another day. 

Before they departed that day, Synn took a moment to voice a concern. 

“I know I promised not to tell anyone about you, but I also promised Asta that I would tell her what was going on. I know she won’t tell anyone if I ask her to, would it be alright if I told her?” Synn asked, turning her foot in the ground and holding her hands behind her back, a pleading smile on her face. 

“I actually think that could be fun.” Loki considered. 

“Fun?” Synn asked. What on Asgard did he mean?

“No one would believe her if she told anyone her cousin was friends with a Prince of Asgard,” Loki mused, “so she will just be stuck with that knowledge and have no one to tell it to.”

“Asta did ask for it. Anything that happens after I tell her is on her.” Synn pointed out with a mischievous glint in her eye. 

“A girl after my own heart.” Loki said, putting his hand over his chest and leaning forward slightly. Synn ignored the way her stomach flipped at his comment, it probably meant nothing anyways. 

“But thank you, Loki. I really appreciate it.” Synn said. 

“I guess I owe you for making you wait so long to find out your best friend is the prince of Asgard.” He said with a flourish of his hands. 

Synn laughed and quickly pulled Loki into a crushing hug before he could stop her. He was not much of a hugger but would humour her, he knew how much it meant to her, and he found himself unable to deny her sincerity. This time, however, Loki’s arms hovered around her for a moment, unsure if he should hug back. 

“You’re supposed to return the hug.” Synn drolled. Loki rolled his eyes, knowing she couldn’t see it and gave her a strong squeeze back. 

“I love you.” Synn said, feeling Loki still in her arms. She hadn’t meant to say it, it had just sort of come out, but she found that she meant it, he was her best friend, and she cared for him very much. Synn pulled back a bit and looked up at him. 

“Are you alright?” She asked, concern on her face. She hadn’t expected him to say it back, but his lack of movement was worrying her. Loki cleared his throat, looking at her. 

“Uh, yes, I’m alright.” He had an uneasy smile on his face. 

“Okay,” Synn let go of him and took a step back, “see you next week?” 

“Yes, of course.” Loki said, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

“I'll see you then!” Synn was still not sure if he was okay but didn’t know what else to say. She hoped she hadn’t made him uncomfortable or said something that he didn’t like. She started to walk away when she heard Loki grumble to himself before speaking up. 

“I love you, too!” He called after her, fiddling with a ring on his finger. 

Synn turned back and beamed at him, happy at his return of her words. 

“Bye, Loki!” She called as she turned back to leave. Synn stopped at the edge of the clearing in front of her usual path back, watching as Loki walked in the opposite direction towards the palace. She chuckled and shook her head, how had someone like her convinced the second prince of Asgard to be her friend? 

That night, after Synn and Asta had gone to bed, Synn excitedly turned to her cousin, a wide grin on her face. 

“I don’t know if I like that look.” Asta eyed her cousin warily. 

“Well, you’re going to like what I have to tell you.” Synn assured her. Asta did not have any time to lodge any doubts as Synn immediately launched into her story, running through the last four years of her friendship with Loki. 

Asta was silent throughout the whole time that Synn talked, her eyes wide. 

Once Synn finished explaining, the grin still plastered on her face, Asta spoke up. 

“No. Way.” She astonished. “You’re definitely lying.” 

“Believe me or don’t,” Synn shrugged, “I’ve told you who I’ve been going to see for the past four years. What you do with that information is up to you.” 

“That’s not fair!” Asta exclaimed. 

Synn said nothing in response, Loki was right, this was fun. 

Asta spluttered, gathering her thoughts, before gasping and looking at Synn with a gloating look on her face. She had figured out a piece of the puzzle and was not going to hesitate to use it to her advantage. 

“You describe him very fondly, you know.” Asta teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

“He’s my friend.” Synn avoided eye contact, fearing the direction that the conversation had taken. 

“But you like him.” Asta stated. 

Synn gasped, shooting her cousin a scathing look. 

“No, I don’t!” She said defensively, blushing at the suggestion. 

“You told him you love him.” Asta pointed out. Why Synn had thought that would be a good part to include in her story was beyond her. That wasn’t the way she had meant it, at least she was pretty sure it wasn’t. 

“I’ve told you I love you too.” Synn retorted, pushing past her spiralling thoughts. 

“That’s different, I’m basically your sister.” Asta pushed back. Synn growled in frustration. 

“He’s just a friend!” She insisted. 

“Synn likes Prince Loki, Synn likes Prince Loki!” Asta sang. 

“Shhh!” Synn leaped out of her bed, rushing to cover Asta’s mouth with her hand and muffle her words, “You’ll wake up your parents!” 

Asta licked the palm of Synn’s hand and Synn yanked her hand back in disgust. 

“You’re just too fun to tease, and I’ve never had any ammunition before, it’s exciting!” Asta giggled. 

“Oh yeah?” Synn challenged, “Keep it up and I’ll have to start teasing you about your crush on Frida.” 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Asta said stubbornly, the blush across her cheeks betraying her. 

“I see how excited you are when she comes over, she’s all you talk about.” Synn was glad for a second of reprieve, no longer having the pressure on her. 

“She’s just a friend.” Asta crossed her arms defensively. 

“Keep telling yourself that, but I think she likes you too.” Synn walked back to her bed, laying down and facing away from her cousin. 

“Wait, what? What did you notice?” Asta asked, dropping all pretence about her not having a crush on Frida. 

“Shh, I’m trying to sleep.” Synn held back a laugh. 

“Synn! You have to tell me!” Asta exclaimed. Synn pretended to make snoring noises in response before she felt a sudden blow to her side. Turning around, she saw Asta standing there, a pillow gripped firmly in her hand. Synn smiled wickedly, grabbing onto her own pillow, she was up for the challenge.

The girls screamed and laughed as they ran around the room, hitting each other as hard as they could with their pillows. They jumped over beds, knocking down their decorations without a care in the world. It may have been all in good fun, but neither of them were going to go easy. It was a pillow fight after all. 

“Girls!” Astrid yelled as she slammed open their bedroom door, catching Asta sitting on Synn’s back, smacking her in the head with a pillow as Synn struggled under her. Both girls paused, Asta’s pillow held out in midair, giving their best sheepish smile to the older woman glaring at them. 

“Some of us are trying to sleep.” Astrid berated, an amused smile sneaking onto her face. 

“Asta started it.” Synn stuck her tongue out at her cousin as Asta got off her back. 

“Did not!” Asta shot back.

“Just go back to bed girls.” Astrid laughed. How she ever got anything done with these two around was a mystery to her. She waited until they had scrambled back in their beds before wishing them goodnight and closing the door. 

“I love you, Asta.” Synn smiled over at her cousin. 

“Love you too, Synn.” Asta responded. The girls, tired after their long day, and recent physical activity, quickly drifted off to sleep, their dreams focusing on their friends, and the feelings they had both been ignoring and would continue to ignore, for many years to come.

Notes:

If you are reading this before the update is complete, stop here, I will remove this when it is done, but you will miss a large chunk as I am breaking up the chapters now.

Chapter 4

Summary:

Synn's 16th birthday celebration involve a nosey cousin and a charming friend

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Synn turned sixteen on one of the days she usually went to meet with Loki. She had spoken with him the week before about a special birthday request. Asta had been bugging her more and more about meeting Loki. It had been easier to distract Asta from teasing Synn in the beginning, Synn would change the subject to teasing Asta about Frida. However, Asta had become more secure in her feelings for Frida, and while she had not told her yet, she was no longer bothered by Synn’s badgering, much to Synn’s dismay. Asta would point out that she was 18 now, so she was more mature and could handle her crush on Frida like a grown-up. Synn didn’t believe her, but as long as Asta continued to fool herself, there was nothing Synn could do about it.

Asta had been stating she wanted to meet Loki for a year at that point, and Synn was not sure how much longer she would wait before following Synn to their meeting spot. Loki didn’t love the idea but couldn’t tell Synn no when she gave him her best puppy-dog eyes. It was her birthday afterall.

Synn and Loki no longer ‘played’ in the traditional sense, no more of the make-believe games that children gravitate towards. They were more relaxed, chatting as Loki practiced his magic or as Synn read her gardening books. They would often lay together, perpendicular to each other as they watched the clouds in the sky. Synn would drape her legs over top of Loki’s as they pointed out different shapes.

It was calming, distracting them from their busy lives outside of their meetings. Synn enjoyed the change and felt content spending time with her friend. She tried to ignore the way her legs would tingle when they touched his, or the way her breath would catch in her throat when their hands would brush against each other. There was no truth to Asta’s words about a supposed crush on Loki. Even if she did like him that way there was no way she had a chance with him, the less she thought about it the better. She couldn’t be disappointed if she didn’t let herself have feelings in the first place. It was a perfect plan with no flaws that she could see. She couldn’t have a crush on Loki if she didn’t let herself, simple as that.

Synn had taken Asta aside before they were set to depart and given her a stern talk. She would tolerate no insinuations of her (very false) feelings for Loki, they were only friends. Asta had laughed and assured her cousin that she wouldn’t do anything embarrassing. Synn had a hard time believing that, but there was not much she could do at that point.

The girls waved goodbye to their guardians and promised that they would be back for a birthday dinner.

The walk to the garden was relatively quiet, Synn worrying about how Asta and Loki would get along and Asta planning on what she should do when she met this Loki person who’d been meeting her cousin in secret for six years. Prince or not, she was going to figure out what he wanted with Synn one way or another.

They arrived early and Synn started showing Asta her garden, tending to the plants while she did. Her garden had grown over the years, having been given more plants by her aunt and uncle and occasionally being brought plants that Loki had stolen out of the palace gardens. She had worried at first that she would get in trouble for having these plants, but Loki had assured her that they wouldn’t get caught. The head gardener was sweet on him and did not mind him taking the occasional flower. Synn hoped that was true.

Loki arrived not too long later, coming from the direction of the palace.

“Loki!” Synn waved, getting up to greet him with a hug. Synn had worn him down over the years and he had actually started to lean into her hugs, though today he was as stiff as a board. Synn concluded he must have spotted Asta.

“Happy Birthday, Synn.” Loki said, hugging her back quickly before letting her go. Asta stood up to follow her cousin, narrowing her eyes at the boy in front of her.

“Loki, this is Asta, Asta, this is Loki.” Synn introduced. The two sized each other up, staring intensely, their faces set and impassive. Synn eyes darted between them, not liking the energy she was feeling. She shot a warning look to Asta, she better not mess this up before they’d even started.

To Synn’s relief, Loki made the first move, holding out his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Synn has spoken a lot about you.” Loki replaced his guarded look with a kind smile, easing into a more personable stance. At least one of the two was going to be civil.

“Synn’s told me about you too.” Asta responded, still standoffish but shook Loki’s hand nonetheless, adding more strength than she usually would. If it bothered Loki he did not show it.

“Good things I hope.” Loki replied smoothly. Asta was tired of the idle small talk, she didn’t come here to beat around the bush.

“So what are your intentions with my cousin?” Asta changed the subject. Synn’s eyes widened in horror.

“Asta!” Synn hissed, kicking her cousin’s foot.

“She’s my friend, my intentions are to maintain that friendship.” Loki explained, eyebrow raised in surprise, shooting Synn a dubious look. He hadn’t expected Asta to go on the offensive so quickly, but from what he had heard of her from Synn and the way she had immediately been intense with him, he really should have. Synn was surprised to hear a subtle change in his voice.

“I should hope so, try anything sneaky and you’ll have me to deal with.” Asta pointed her finger menacingly at him. Synn smacked her face into her palm, so much for not embarrassing her.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Loki said smoothly, a charming smile on his face.

“Asta, back off.” Synn put her hand firmly on Asta’s shoulder. “This isn’t why I brought you here, are you trying to ruin my birthday?”

Synn piled the guilt on. Asta looked sheepishly back at her cousin.

“I’m done, he’s okay,” Asta narrowed her eyes once more at Loki before taking a step back,“for now.”

“I’m glad I’ve passed your test.” Loki said, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice.

“For now.” Asta reiterated. Loki nodded in acknowledgment.

“At first I thought it was only Synn who was bold enough to threaten a Prince,” Loki joked, “but now I think it may run in the family.”

Asta shrugged, he wasn’t wrong.

“On another note, I have been learning something to surprise Synn for her birthday, may I show it to you both?” Loki asked, flourishing his hands in the dramatic way he does when he is trying to entice Synn into letting him show her his magic.

“Yes!” Synn exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. She was excited for Asta to see Loki’s magic, hoping that it would distract her from her sour mood.

The magic that Loki had been working on was to do with the Moonflowers. He knew how much Synn loved to see them and how she was rarely allowed out when they were in bloom. He’d spent a few months working on this form of magic but was sure it would be worth it for the happiness it would bring his friend.

Loki had the girls follow him over to stand beside the garden. He cast a dark dome over the three of them, blocking out all the light.

Asta shouted in surprise, reaching out to grab Synn’s hand. Before Synn could respond, Loki had cast a glowing orb up in front of them. It gave off a soft white glow, reminding Synn of moonlight.

To her surprise, she watched as her favourite flowers slowly started to bloom. Synn knelt down beside her flowers, inspecting them to make sure it was real, completely abandoning her startled cousin.

Synn looked up at Loki, a look of adoration on her face.

“This is amazing Loki!” She exclaimed.

“Now you can see them anytime you want, as long as I’m here of course.” Loki smiling down at her.

Asta watched them both and smirked, having gotten over her initial shock at being surrounded by darkness. Loki had momentarily forgotten Asta was there, his focus entirely on Synn as she got up to envelope him in a crushing hug. Asta saw the look on his face and recognized it instantly; it was the same look Synn had when she talked about him. Asta didn’t know how her cousin couldn’t see it, but it was as clear as day. These two idiots were absolutely in love with each other.

Satisfied with her previous inkling being confirmed, Asta waited until Synn let Loki go.

“Neat tricks, you got any more?” Asta challenged. Loki was, of course, never one to deny a request that allowed him to show off, especially if Synn was involved.

The three spent the next few hours messing around with Loki’s magic, laughing and joking as they found new and creative ways to apply it. While they hadn’t played any childish games in a long time, Asta had insisted. Hide and go seek was much better with three than it had been with two.

When it came time to head back home, Asta had an idea, she had enjoyed meeting Loki but wanted to give her cousin some private time with her friend without being too obvious about it.

“We’ve got to get back for dinner. Synn why don’t you gather your tools and I’ll meet you back at home?” She asked. Synn agreed and Asta started to leave, shooting Loki one last warning look, though this time with a smile. She had to admit that she liked him more than she had thought she would, and was happy to see the way he clearly cared for Synn. There was still his title, God of Mischief, that had her slightly concerned but, for now, she would lay her protectiveness to rest. She would not hesitate if she needed to bring that energy out again, yet the soft gaze Loki had as he watched Synn was enough for Asta to feel as though the younger girl was safe.

Once Asta had left and Synn had gathered her tools with some magical help from Loki, the two friends turned to each other.

“Thank you, Loki. I’m sorry she was so aggressive at first, but I think she warmed up to you.” Synn apologized.

“What can I say, I’m good at charming people.” Loki said with a cheeky smile.

“If you say so,” Synn laughed, “but really, thank you for making my birthday a special one, I really enjoyed seeing the Moonflowers again, it means so much to me.”

“Anytime,” Loki reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box wrapped in green ribbon. “though before you go, I also got you something.”

“Oh, Loki, you didn’t have to, the moonflowers were amazing enough on their own, we’ve never given gifts for birthdays before.” Synn insisted, but that did not stop Loki from placing the box in her hands.

“Open it.” He prompted.

Synn looked at him, knowing she couldn’t say no, and gently unwrapped the box. Shooting one more guilty look at Loki, she opened the box and gasped when she was what was inside.

Sitting in the box was a beautiful gold bracelet, shining gently in the afternoon sun. It had a solid curved top with a chain on the bottom to clasp it onto her wrist. Engraved on it was a Moonflower in full bloom. It was simple but the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“Loki, I love it, I don’t even know how to thank you. It’s perfect.” Synn held the bracelet carefully in her hand. Loki motioned for her to hand it to him. Synn did as asked and held out her wrist. Once the bracelet was secure, she brought it closer to her face to examine it.

“It’s your sixteenth birthday, you deserve something special.” Loki’s voice was soft, his eyes shining in earnest as he smiled at her.

Synn stopped examining the bracelet and returned the gaze of the boy standing in front of her. The years had passed so quickly, their friendship strengthening with every meeting, and Synn knew that she wouldn’t give it up for the world. They had grown together, each coming from very different backgrounds but finding commonality in their bond. As Synn starred into Loki’s light blue eyes, she felt a tight feeling tugging at her chest, and a nervousness sitting in her belly. It was familiar to her, she felt that way when she looked silently into his eyes or she watched him talking about his passions. The way his face light up as he spoke was something Synn could not get enough of.

She had been trying to deny these feelings for so long but she was not good at hiding them. Even Asta had known after the first time she had spoken of him. At that moment, Synn realized she couldn’t stop these feelings any longer. Whether she liked it or not, she was in love with her best friend.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” Synn blushed as she shoved those thoughts momentarily from her head. She would have to process that later.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Loki said before he could stop his first thought from tumbling out of his mouth. They both stilled, frozen, before Loki quickly recovered.

“I think you’re aunt and uncle will be missing you for dinner soon.” He said, hiding his embarrassment under a calm mask. He would kick himself later, but for now, he had to remain cool and impassive. Synn blinked quickly a few times before responding, maybe she hadn’t heard him right? Or maybe it was just a compliment from friend to friend, she was for sure making up the emotion that had been thick in his voice as he spoke. She must have misheard.
“I suppose you’re right. I’ll see you next time?” She asked as she always did.

“Of course.” Loki responded. The two parted ways, both wrapped up in their own thoughts, Synn thinking over her recent realization and the compliment Loki had just given her. Loki mentally berating himself for embarrassing himself in front of the girl he had recently realized he had feelings for. Neither recognizing the feelings the other had, making for more spiralling thoughts that would last for many years to come.

That night, Synn lay in her bed, twirling the bracelet between her fingers, thoughts distracted with her feelings for Loki. Beside her, Asta turned in her bed to face her cousin.
“Nice bracelet.” She teased.

“Yeah, it is.” Synn agreed, not paying attention.

“Can’t deny it any longer, huh?” Asta asked, already knowing the answer. Synn blushed.

“A part of me already knew, I think. I was just scared to admit it, I’m scared what would happen to us should I ever let it slip.” Synn stared at the bracelet, a wistful look on her face.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Asta snorted. “He clearly likes you too.”

Synn looked up sharply.

“You think so?” She asked, hope filling her voice.

“I know so, I saw the way he looked at you.” Asta rolled her eyes, “Now go to sleep and quit being so melodramatic.”

Synn smiled to herself, while she couldn’t be sure of Loki’s feelings towards her, Asta’s words had filled her with hope. She would keep their friendship as normal for now but would be on her own hunt for signs that her feelings were returned.

As more years passed, Synn saw many potential signs of Loki’s feelings, but could never decide if she had just made it up, or if there really was something there. She was content in their relationship for now, just happy to spend time with him, but she knew her feelings were only growing and she was not sure how long she could contain them. Sooner or later she was sure she would tell Loki how she felt, until then, they were just two kids, hanging out in a garden and practicing magic, woefully in love and too scared to admit it.

Notes:

Any predictions?? I'd love to hear them :)

This was a shorter chapter but the next will be longer and will be out soon!

Thank you for your bookmarks and kudos!!

Chapter 5

Summary:

Synn has grown older and needs to find work, but where to start?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Time had passed quickly for Synn. She felt so much older but at the same time felt like she hadn’t aged a day. She was 18, the age where Asgardian children were expected to start finding their own path in life.

She felt torn, she loved living with her family and they had made it clear that she was welcome to stay, yet, she felt the need to start venturing out on her own. One day Asta would inherit the bakery and start a life of her own. She had already talked about having kids, wanting a large family bustling about the small home. There would not be space for Synn once that happened. Asta would never kick her out but Synn was not about to let herself be a burden on anyone.

On top of that, she didn’t want to spend her whole life as a baker. She enjoyed the work but it wasn’t something that truly piqued her interest. Though she had no idea what else she could do. She didn’t have many skills that translated well into professions. Asgardians live long lives, so even if she did find work, committing to one profession forever felt like a large jump she wasn’t sure she was ready to make.

To make matters more complicated, there was her friendship with Loki to consider. She couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. She had to make sure that he fit, but sneaking around to meet a prince was not the easiest thing to do. There weren’t many forests around Asgard that were as secluded as this one and visiting him in the palace would not be the same. He often talked about how guarded he felt in his home. They wouldn’t be able to enjoy each other’s company in the way that they had been for the past eight years. She wasn’t even sure if she would be allowed there, a commoner such as herself meeting a prince could be seen as improper. She knew her relationship with Loki was likely to get more complicated with such a large change in her life, but she was reluctant to leave the comfort they currently had.

Synn brought her concerns up to him one day as they lay side by side in the grass. She had no idea where her life was headed and needed to talk it over with someone who didn’t insist she stay at the Bakery.

Loki had considered her words, he wanted to be able to continue to see her as well. It was something he had been thinking of for a while now, he was not about to give up the only person he felt truly comfortable with and was pleased to hear that she felt the same way. He had a plan, and now that Synn was ready to move out of her home he could set that plan in motion. He’d keep it a surprise for now. He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he told her.

At home, Synn sat at the kitchen table, her head in her hands as she thought about her options.

“Don’t think too hard, you might hurt yourself.” Asta teased, sitting down beside her cousin. Synn groaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that so I don’t have to punch you in your smug little face.” Synn joked, lifting her head out of her hands to fix her cousin with an unimpressed stare. She was only mildly serious in her threat.

“Alright, alright,” Asta put her hands up in surrender, “it’s really got you riled up today, huh?”

“I have no idea what I want to do or how I want to go about figuring that out.” Synn sat back in her chair heavily, her back smacking against the wooden frame.

“Have you talked to Loki about it?” Asta grinned mischievously at her cousin, “He’s a prince, maybe he could sweep you off your feet and marry you. You wouldn’t have to worry about work anymore.”

“Shut up,” Synn playfully shoved her cousin, Asta giggling as she did, “yes I have talked with him about it but there was no talks of marriage or sweeping me off my feet, nor will there ever be.”

Asta rolled her eyes, how Synn could ignore the way Loki looked at her was beyond her comprehension.

“You know you can always stay here, I’d miss you terribly if you were gone,” Asta gave Synn’s arm a reassuring squeeze, “who else would I tease relentlessly?”

“Frida, if you ever get around to telling her how you feel.” Synn laughed.

“You first.” Asta smirked as Synn ducked her head and quickly changed the subject, she had had enough of talking about her embarrassing crush.

“What am I even good at? What can I offer Asgard that I would also enjoy?”

“Other than marrying the prince,” Asta couldn’t pass up the opportunity given to her, if Synn was really planning on leaving she had to get as many jibes in as possible while she still could, “what about your gardening, you seem to love that?”

“I do love it, but I’m not that good,” Synn sighed, “all I have is that small little garden and a handful of books from my father. I don’t know any places that would take me.”

“Look, if it’s something you love then you should go for it. It’s important to you and there have to be some opportunities floating around out there. You’ll always have a place here but we will support you in finding something you actually enjoy. You deserve it.” Asta smiled at her younger cousin. Synn had always doubted herself more than she should, Asta saw the way she struggled to fit in and wished that she could see herself the way that Asta did.

Asta loved Synn like her sister, though she had hoped they would have more time together, Synn was itching to start a life of her own and Asta would not let anything stop her from supporting her cousin.

“Thank you, Asta. That means a lot.” Synn gave her cousin a grateful look, she would miss having her around all the time. They were so close, there wasn’t anything that they didn’t know about each other. While that gave a lot of ammunition to use for teasing, Synn wouldn’t have it any other way. She missed the relationship she never had with her parents and mourned the siblings she would have had, yet, she could only be happy that she had ended up where she did. She loved her aunt and uncle like they were her parents. Asta’s constant support and love was something Synn couldn’t imagine living without. She would have never met Loki if the events of her life hadn’t happened the way they did. She wished her parents could meet him, see how strong their friendship had become. She wanted to talk to them, tell them about all they had missed. Though, as she sat at that small kitchen table with Asta, she could feel it in her heart that they already knew.

“I’ve decided, I am going to look for a job in gardening.” Synn announced as she stepped into the clearing later that week. Loki was sat in the grass, lazily shooting fireworks from his palm.

“When did you decide this?” Loki smiled at her, ceasing the use of his magic. She sat down beside him, crossing her legs as she adjusted the skirt of her dress.

“Just a few days ago, I talked it over with Asta.” Synn explained.

“Well, I have a surprise for you then.” Loki had a smug look on his face. Synn raised her eyebrow at him. She trusted Loki but she felt nervousness creep up into her throat, he looked a little too pleased.

“I’ve talked with the head gardener at the palace and she has agreed to give you an apprenticeship position.” Loki declared, opening his arms and cocking his head to the side. He was proud of himself, he’d managed to find something that could work out for Synn and let them still spend time together. While it would be more difficult to find time alone at the palace, he was sure he could figure something out.

“What?” Synn sputtered, unable to process what he had just said. A job, at the royal palace, working in the most prestigious gardens in Asgard? There was no way he could be telling the truth, why would they ever take someone as inexperienced as her? She felt panicked as she imagined the disappointment that she would face when they realized she was no good.

“To be honest I expected a little bit more celebration.” Loki deflated, he’d spent so long talking with the head gardener about Synn, boasting about her eagerness for horticulture and willingness to learn before asking if she’d take her. He had expected Synn to be at least a little happy but all he could see was how anxious she looked.

“That’s a very big jump from my little garden, I was picturing a much less important position, at least to start off with.” Synn explained, rubbing the back of her neck. What if she wasn’t good enough? How could she look Loki in the eyes if she messed up such an important job, especially one he had gotten for her.

“Are you upset with me?” Loki asked, looking down at his feet, careful to control his feelings.

“No!” Synn shouted, louder than she had meant to, Loki startling and looked back at her. She grinned sheepishly, “I appreciate it, really, but I would have preferred if you’d asked me first instead of arranging it without my knowledge.”

“Do you not want the job?” Loki questioned, now feeling confused.

“I don’t really know what it entails, but that’s not the point,” Synn fiddled with the hem of her skirt, “the point is that I would have liked more time to get used to the idea and learn more about it before you talked about getting me a position there. I don’t even know if I’m good enough for it.”

“I’m sorry, Synn, I didn’t mean to rush you into it, you can take as much time as you need.” Loki felt relieved that it wasn’t the job itself that had upset her but rather his attempt at a surprise. He could take that, it still meant she may come to live much closer to him. He noted to himself that large life decisions should not be a surprise in the future.

“It’s okay, I do really appreciate that you went to such lengths to find me work I would enjoy.” Synn put her hand on his, the warmth emanating from him making her want to never let go.

“I wanted to be able to see you more, I thought the castle gardens would be perfect for that.” Loki admitted, meeting her gaze, his eyes filled with an emotion that Synn had trouble identifying. It was strong, meant only for her, and vulnerable in a way she rarely saw him. She wasn’t sure if she was reading too far into it, but to her, it looked like longing.

Synn cleared her throat, breaking the moment, that was not something she was prepared to deal with quite yet.

“How are you so sure I won’t hide from you? I hear they have some pretty impressive bushes I could use as cover.” Synn joked, removing her hand from his.

“You can’t hide from me.” Loki boasted. Synn grinned, excepting his challenge.

“Wanna bet?” She asked, standing up and running towards the woods without giving Loki any chance to stop her, “Count to thirty and no using magic, that’s cheating!”

“What are we, six years old?” Loki called, already standing up and covering his eyes with his hands. How could he resist such an innocent request from Synn, especially one that would allow him to prove that he was right? One thing he loved more than anything was to be right.

It didn’t take him long to find her. He could hear her breathing from a mile away. She had insisted he had cheated and demanded they try again. And then again. And then again until she finally conceded that he was indeed very good at finding her.

Loki helped her up from her hiding spot, brushing the leaves out of her hair.

“May I now tell you more about the job?” He asked, chuckling.

Synn nodded, feeling at ease as he explained to her the details. She would be living among the other palace staff and working with a small team of other gardeners under the head gardener, Gyda. It would be up to Gyda what Synn would specifically be doing but it would offer her so much experience that she would not be able to get elsewhere. Not to mention the pay was pretty good.

Synn still needed time to think on it, promising Loki that she would give him her answer by the next time they met. She gave him her usual tight hug, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapping back around her, before she departed.

Her mind kept replaying what he had said, I wanted to be able to see you more. Her heart fluttered as she remembered the look he had given her, the intensity of his feelings apparent, though she tried to not let her mind spiral over figuring out what that feeling had actually been.

Synn would never forget that look, it would follow her as she fell asleep that night and show up in her mind as the week went on. She could have been overthinking it, maybe that was just a look shared between friends as they hoped for a future together. Either way, she still had some big decisions to make, so her feelings for Loki would have to wait. She could ponder on whether they were returned another time, still too afraid to admit what that would mean for them, and what kind of changes would come with it.

XXX

“I’ve found work and I’m going to take it.” Synn announced one night over dinner. Birger cheered, giving Synn a congratulatory pat on the back, rocking her forward in her chair.

“What is the job?” Astrid asked, excited for her niece. Synn smiled sheepishly, unsure of how to tell her aunt and uncle how exactly she had managed to get a palace job.

“An apprentice in the Palace Gardens.” Synn explained, lacing her fingers together on the table in front of her, sitting up as straight as she could.

“What did I say.” Asta sang under her breath, a grin on her face. Maybe it wasn’t marriage, but Asta knew Loki was involved, sweeping her cousin off her feet and bringing her to the palace like she had called earlier that week. Synn kicked Asta’s shins sharply under the table, earning her a yelp. Synn glared over at her, getting back the same grin Asta always wore when teasing Synn.

Across the table from the squabbling girls, her aunt and uncle shared a knowing look.

“Does this have anything to do with that boy you’ve been meeting in the forest every week?” Birger asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Synn jaw dropped, she had not been expecting that.

“You knew about that?” She asked incredulously. How long had they known and why hadn’t they said anything?

“Did we know you were meeting with Prince Loki every chance you got?” Aunt Astrid laughed, her husband sharing in her mirth, “Of course we did, did you really think we were going to let you wander alone in the woods without knowing what you were up to?”

“Did you tell them?” Synn asked, rounding on Asta.

“No!” Asta protested, “I promise I had no idea they knew.”

“We may be old but we have a few tricks of our own.” Astrid said, tapping the side of her nose.

“I can’t believe it.” Synn shook her head in disbelief, they had kept that secret so well, she hadn’t suspected for a second that they knew.

“I assume it was Prince Loki who got you this job?” Birger continued his question from earlier.

Synn nodded, not sure what else to say, still reeling from what her aunt and uncle had just admitted.

“That’s a pretty big deal, a job in the royal gardens, he must really like you.” Astrid teased. Synn blushed, shaking her head in protest but not finding the words to defend herself.

“Oh, he definitely does.” Asta proclaimed, glee clear in her voice as she revelled in her cousin’s embarrassment.

“Traitor.” Synn shot at her cousin, eyes narrowed but unable to keep the smile off her face. Her family shared a round of laughter at her expense, Synn wished she could sink into her chair and disappear.

“All teasing aside,” Astrid said, catching her breath, “we are so happy for you, this is an amazing opportunity and we couldn’t be more proud of the woman you’ve become.”

Synn felt tears prick at her eyes, trying her best to hold them back. As she looked around at her family, all gathered together at a small kitchen table, she felt at peace with her decision. They meant so much to her and to have them support her was enough to cause a stir of emotions to build up in her chest, threatening to spill over.

“Thank you,” She expressed, her voice wavering, “for everything you’ve done for me, for taking me in and raising me. It means more than I could ever find the words to say.”

“It was our pleasure, we can’t wait to be with you as you continue on your way.” Astrid said, her turn to hold back her tears. Synn was like a daughter to them, they were happy to have been able to be so involved in her life.

When Synn told Loki she was going to accept the job he’d picked her up by the waist and twirled her around. She’d screamed, having not expected such a boisterous display from him. He’d put her down, grabbing both sides of her face, squishing her cheeks together as she laughed.

“I’m so excited to show you the palace, it is truly spectacular.” He’d exclaimed before letting her go. She knew she’d made the right decision, not only because it would be amazing to work at such a prestigious place, but because she would do almost anything to put that look of excitement on Loki’s face.

The next day she packed up her belongings in one small bag, sighing as she looked around the only room she had ever called home. There was art adorning the walls that she and Asta had done as children that had been faded from the sun beaming through the window. So many pillow fights had taken place in this room, so many late-night talks she could barely remember. The room contained too many memories to count, and she had a hard time leaving them behind.

Synn held onto her bracelet, the one Loki had only given her a little over two years ago. She barely ever took it off and it had started to provide comfort for her, its weight and the cool metal on her skin had a grounding effect.

She exited the room, looking one last time behind her as she left, she would be back to visit, but this was the last time she would call this place home. Memories swirled around her head as she closed the door, the echos of laughter ringing in her brain.

She met her family at the door where they were waiting for her, Astrid flinging herself into her arms as Synn walked up to them.

“My baby is all grown up!” She cried, wiping her tears on Synn’s shoulder.

“You’re going to ruin my dress on my first day.” Synn chuckled, pulling back and clutching her aunt’s shoulders.

“I know, I know,” Aunt Astrid tutted, “I’m just going to miss you is all.”

“It’s not like she's leaving Asgard.” Uncle Birger assured his wife, hugging her to his side.

“You’d better be coming back to visit with us low-life commoners,” Asta elbowed Synn playfully, “don’t get too lost in that palace life.”

“You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.” Synn scoffed, pulling her cousin in for a tight hug. Both girls stood there wrapped in each other’s embrace, neither wanting to be the first to let go. It was the end of an era, they would no longer be constantly by each other’s side but both were determined to not let this minor separation change how close they were. They were sisters, after all, nothing could stand in their way.

“If you’re going all the way up there you better be telling him how you feel.” Asta whispered in Synn’s ear.

“Only if you tell Frida.” Synn whispered back. They parted, trying not to let their tears spill as they gave each other one last look. Synn walked slowly away from them, starting her trek up to the palace. She left behind her life of simple comfort, heading towards uncertainty. Though she was sad to go, as she walked closer to the palace she could feel the excitement brewing in her stomach. She could not wait for this new chapter of her life to begin.

Notes:

It's only going to get more exciting from here in out!

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think is going to happen!

Chapter 6

Summary:

Synn adjusts to palace life and meets some new friends

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Synn arrived at the palace she could barely believe her eyes. She had seen it from afar for her whole life, the structure casting its huge shadow over the rest of the land, but nothing could compare to standing right in front of the huge structure. She had pictured its beauty, Loki having tried his best to describe it over the years, but she was not prepared for the real thing.

There were large golden pillars adorning the entrance, marble and stone running along the floors. The walls were carved with intricate designs depicting ancient battles, and the ceilings were similarly decorated. Guards were lining the entrance, stood as still as a statue, not giving her a second glance.

She walked forward, anxiety blooming in her chest. It was more grand and formal than she had anticipated and could see now why Loki would want a break from such a stifling place. While it was beautiful, she was sure she would be spending plenty of time back with her family. She had a feeling that all of this magnificence would get overwhelming, she would need some time to relax.

“Synn?” Called an unfamiliar voice. Synn spun around, meeting the gaze of another woman.

She was tall, taller than Loki, her orange hair was tucked up into a neat bun, strands falling down to frame her face. She had sharp features, her piercing green eyes making Synn feel like there was no escaping her judgment. She was tanned, likely from having been working outside in the sun for most of her life, and she was strong, her muscles barely concealed under her outfit, the tight tunic and pants showing off the strength she held. She was older than Synn, her eyes and mouth wrinkling slightly at the corner, her eyes filled with a wisdom Synn could only hope to one day acquire.

“Yes.” Synn answered, already having an idea as to who had greeted her.

“I’m Gyda, the Head Gardener. It’s lovely to finally meet you, I’ve heard so many good things about you from a mutual friend of ours.” Gyda smiled slyly, reaching out to shake her hand.

“I hope he hasn’t overstated anything.” Synn blushed, she knew Loki had talked her up but to hear it from someone else felt different somehow.

“I guess we’ll see.” Gyda winked at Synn and motioned for her to follow. They walked along, down small winding corridors, away from the main entrance, towards what Synn guessed were staff areas. They were not as ornate as the ones running towards the centre of the palace but were still made of solid and expensive metals. A few people were milling about in plainer clothes than those she had seen upon her entry. Gyda explained that the gardens surrounded most of the castle, meaning that Synn would be living and working closer to the permitter.

Gyda showed Synn her quarters, a room she would be sharing with six other women. It was quaint, the beds meant only for one and made out of smooth, light wood. Some of the girls had paintings above their bed, their dressers adorned with nicknacks. It felt normal, much more like her room back at her aunt and uncle’s than the intimidating entrance to the palace had been. There was no one there, the staff had already started their morning duties.

“Here, put these on.” Gyda tossed her a sturdy apron and clothes similar to her own. Though Synn’s were a golden colour as opposed to Gyda’s dark purple. Gyda left the room, Synn did as asked and quickly placed her bag on the bed. The clothes fit her well, allowing for a good range of movement due to the bottoms being pants instead of her regular skirt, but were also light enough that they wouldn’t bake her in the summer sun.

After she had finished changing, she followed Gyda back out of the room. Gyda explained in detail what her duties entailed, more so than what Loki had been able to tell her. Synn would start as an apprentice, she would be trained under Gyda and other experienced gardeners. Synn would start with digging spots for the new plants they had arriving later that week and tending to some of the smaller berry bushes. From there, her skills would be assessed and they would figure out which direction to send her in.

Synn was to shadow Gyda for her first day, the older woman wanting to see for herself if what Loki had said was true. Synn listened with rapt attention as she followed Gyda around. She was introduced to the other workers and shown the vast expanse that the palace gardens took up. She was amazed to see so much beauty in one place. The colours were stunningly bright, the green leaves soaking up the warm sun. The sprawling grounds added a natural flair to the imposing structure it surrounded, it felt much more welcoming and warm.

It took most of the day to do the tour and get Synn settled in a spot to start working. She spent the last few hours sweating in the sun as she dug holes along with a few other novice gardeners. Gyda had explained that there were to be new fruit trees planted there.

By the end of the day, she was exhausted. Everything had happened so fast, she hadn’t even been able to unpack yet. Her feet were aching and her back was sore as she walked back to her room but she was happy to have learned so much from Gyda as they had toured the grounds. The fruit trees and herbs were her favourites, she couldn’t wait to see what kind of fruit they would bear. She thought of all the exciting projects she would be getting to help with and wished her dad could have been able to celebrate this with her. She hoped he would be proud.

During dinner and the rest of the evening, Synn got the know her roommates. They all worked in other areas in the castle, mainly in grounds maintenance. They varied in ages, some being closer to Synn and others having already worked there for centuries. They were all very welcoming, though Synn quickly bonded with a younger girl who had only recently started working in the palace as well. Her name was Idun and she was a part of a family that had worked at the palace for generations. She had recently been placed in a position involving grounds maintenance. It involved a lot of polishing and cleaning of statues, but she was happy to be able to spend the day in the sun instead of being stuck inside. She was easy-going and friendly, something that Synn greatly appreciated. They made small talk, Idun asking Synn about her family and life before her new job. It had been comforting to talk about her family with someone new, even though she had just left them, she already missed their cozy dinners.

However, she left out Loki. Mentioning that she was friends with the prince did not seem like the best thing to do right off the bat. Loki had warned her that they would likely treat her differently if they knew she had connections at the top. She hated that she had to keep him a secret, but she had agreed, she wanted to at least fit in first. It was why he had kept his distance, he would have loved to have been the first one to greet her and give her a tour of the palace, but that would have started too many rumours. Gyda was so far the only one who knew their secret, and Synn trusted her to keep it.

All the girls spent time talking in their room after dinner, the others filling Synn in on the minute details of palace life, who to talk to, who to avoid, and all sorts of gossip. Synn pretended to be uninterested when the talk turned to the Royal Family. They spoke with hushed voices, knowing they would be in a lot of trouble should they be found out. Most of the gossip surrounded Thor and his most recent romantic escapades, the girls seemed to like him best. Synn couldn’t imagine why, but she may have been particularly biased in that opinion. She pretended to be shocked, but in truth, she already knew most of it, having heard from Loki when he was annoyed with his brother. It wasn’t until the conversation turned to her friend that she couldn’t fake her uninterest anymore.

“I hear Prince Loki has been sneaking off every weekend,” Idun whispered, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, “some of the guards have seen him leaving regularly, always headed in the same direction.”

“I wonder where he’s sneaking off too, or who he’s been seeing.” Gertrude, another one of the room residents close to Synn’s age, added.

The other girls giggled, Synn trying hard to suppress the blush from showing on her cheeks. She felt odd, knowing she was the reason for this gossip surrounding Loki and that none of the girls knew. Yet they sat there, basically talking about her. It took all of her self-restraint not to gush about her friend, that could wait for another day.

“Well they must be quite the intriguing person, he may be flirty but he’s always been so aloof to anyone else’s advances.” An older woman, Hillevi, smirked. A chorus of nodding went through the group. Synn tried to ignore the way hope sparked in her chest upon hearing that Loki had not been overly interested in anyone else, though she knew she had no claim on him, she couldn’t help but be pleased.

“Maybe he’s just exploring Asgard?” Synn offered, trying to quell the implications being made, though she found herself not at all upset about it. It was more out of respect for Loki, he had little privacy as it was and Synn wanted to do her best to keep the few secrets he had.

The other girls laughed her off, her suggestion had not been as satisfying as imagining their prince meeting in secret with a lover.

Synn excused herself when the topic changed back to Thor, heading to the bathroom for her nighttime routine. The girls pointed her in the right direction, letting her know it was just around the corner.

Synn left, their chattering fading as she closed the bedroom door behind her. She rounded the corner, spotting the bathroom door. Before she could take another step, she felt a hand grab her shoulder. Synn jumped, barely holding back a shriek as she spun on her heels, grabbing the person’s arm and getting ready to twist. She paused as her eyes met with those of her would-be attacker, relief flooding her as she recognized them.

“Loki!” She hissed, “You scared me.”

Synn let go of his arm, Loki pulled it back, rubbing at his wrist where her hand had just been.

“You’ve got a strong grip.” Loki was astonished she had grabbed him so hard, but then remembered how she had reacted to his last surprise and smiled guiltily at her. He should really stop underestimating how much she hated surprises.

“You’re lucky I didn’t punch you in the face.” Synn put her hands on her hips.

“I would have dodged it.” Loki shrugged nonchalantly, leaning against the wall. Synn scoffed, he hadn’t been able to dodge her grab, she was pretty sure she could have clocked him if she had wanted to. Plus she had hit him before, how hard would it be to do it again?

“We’ll have to test that someday,” Synn joked, “and I thought you weren’t going to be able to visit me for a while.”

“I wanted to stop by, make sure your first day was going well, I didn’t want to get you the job just for you to hate it.” Loki admitted. They had planned for him to keep his distance for a while, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Thank you, Loki, I really enjoy it so far. Gyda was exactly as you described and the girls I’m living with have been very nice, their gossip is rather entertaining.” Synn smirked.

“If anything changes you can let me know, I can pull a few strings.” Loki offered, already knowing what she was going to say. He’d pointedly ignore the comment on gossip, he had a solid idea as to what the gossip was about, as much of the chatter he heard surrounded him and the Royal Family. He could address whatever outlandish claims were being made another day.

“I appreciate it but I can fight my own fights, I don’t want any favouritism coming into play. Especially since you already got me this job.” Synn put her hand on Loki’s arm, much gentler than earlier. She knew Loki meant well but she didn’t want him exerting his power over the other workers. It wouldn’t be fair, and she already felt bad for using her friendship with Loki to get this job in the first place, even though it had been him who had offered it.

“Well you are my favourite,” Loki pointed out with a grin, “but clearly you are more than capable of throwing punches should it come to it.”

“You better watch yourself, next time I won’t hold back.” Synn laughed, removing her hand.

“Noted,” Loki put his hands up, “and I’m afraid I should be going before your new friends decide to head this way.”

“I’ll see you soon?” Synn asked.

“I’ll drop by the garden sometime, there’s nothing out of place about a prince appreciating the palace gardens, right?” Loki pulled her in for a quick hug, Synn holding on tight. It had been a long day, full of so many new experiences and while they were wonderful and exciting, she was still glad that she had some familiarity with Loki. They parted and wished each other goodnight before heading their separate ways. Loki had been right, as soon as he was gone Synn heard the bedroom door open, more people coming to clean up before bed.

She fell asleep soundly that night, feeling better than she had thought she would have. She was exhausted, but content. She had already made new friends, and as far as she could tell Gyda had enjoyed her enthusiasm. She couldn’t wait to continue the work and adjust more to life at the palace.

The days flew into weeks which flew into months. Synn was learning quickly, continuing to help with new projects. Gyda appreciated her work ethic and noticed that Synn preferred to work alone. It was what she was used to at her old garden and had a hard time chatting with other workers and focusing on gardening at the same time. Multitasking may have not been her forte, but she was anything if not efficient. Gyda had started giving her more solo projects, pleased at the progress that Synn could make in her own space. Loki was the only exception to her preferences of working alone. His calming presence helped her relax, allowing her to concentrate further on her work. He was much better at telling if she was in a talking mood than her coworkers had been.

Having Synn work by herself allowed Loki to have an easier time keeping their friendship private. He could come by and spend time with her without attracting too much attention. They would get a few glances by people walking by, but overall, no one said anything, at least not to either of them. Loki would talk, filling Synn in on all that he had been working on and venting about his frustrations with his brother. Synn would in turn teach him about the work she was doing and tell him about how she was getting on with her roommates, spending endless amounts of time complaining about Hillevi’s snoring.

By her tenth month working at the palace gardens, she had settled into a routine. Loki would stop by when he could during her work and if the palace was particularly empty, he would walk with her through the empty halls on her days off.

She went home every weekend, her family very excited to hear about the palace and always trying to stuff her full of their homemade food. She was happy in her routine, she felt accomplished and grown-up, something she knew she wouldn’t have if she had stayed at the bakery. While she missed her family, they had settled easily into the new dynamic of weekend visits.

It wasn’t until one brisk day that Synn received a surprise visit. She had been working alone as she usually did. Loki had only been there the day prior so she was not expecting anyone to come by. She was covered in dirt as she usually was when she was working on digging spots for new plants, though she was thankful that the weather had gotten colder and she was not drenched in sweat as she had been on her first day. She was lost in her thoughts, her surroundings disappearing around her as she followed her muscle memory.

“Synn!” Called a booming voice. She startled out of her reverie, looking up to find the source of the sound. A man was walking towards her, he had a big, floppy smile plastered on his face. He was wearing a long red cape that came off of his full body armour. His shoulder-length light blond hair matched the colour of his trimmed beard. He had his hand up, waving at her. Most noticeably, he was huge. Not only did he tower above everyone he walked by, but his shoulders were broad and his muscles bulging.

She waved back, taking a moment to try to figure out who he was and how he knew her. He looked vaguely familiar, though she was pretty sure she hadn’t seen him before, he wasn’t an easy face to forget. As it clicked in her brain, she felt her stomach churn. She pieced it together through descriptions given by Loki, and the Royal Family painting she had seen all those years ago. This was most definitely Loki’s brother, Prince Thor, and he was coming straight towards her.

“Prince Thor,” Synn bowed, wiping her hands on her apron, “what can I do for you, sire?”

“No need for the formalities,” Thor clapped her back hard, lurching her forward before she regained her balance and straightened up, “any friend of my brother’s is a friend of mine.”

“Oh, he seemed to be under the impression that you didn’t know I existed.” Synn rubbed the back of her neck, looking down at the ground.

“As far as he knows,” Thor smirked at her, proud of himself for managing to keep a secret from his brother, “but I’ve overheard him talking with mother a few times and I thought I’d come out here myself to say how glad I am that Loki has a friend like yourself! His solidarity was worrying us all and we are glad he is keeping good company.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Synn said lamely, unsure of how to respond to that. She knew Loki wasn’t as close as they were with anyone else but surely he had other friends, right? Come to think of it, Synn hadn’t heard him talk of any other friends.

“May I sit?” Thor asked, pointing to the ground beside her. Synn nodded and Thor flopped down on the ground.

“This is quite relaxing,” Thor looked around, an approving look on his face, “I see why Loki has always spent so much time here, even before you.”

Synn nodded, sitting down across from Thor. She was due to take a break and was feeling self-conscious about how much energy she had to exert to dig a hole when the prince could probably do it in one go. She would rather the first impression Thor had of her not be one of her weakness.

“Though somehow I feel that it all ties back to you.” Thor looked at her, his eyebrow raised in question, the look in his eyes betrayed the fact that he already knew.

“I’m sure that’s not the only reason.” Synn blushed, cursing how easy it was to make her flustered. She knew Loki had started going to the gardens more to bring her back interesting new flowers or to offer her some information he had learned from Gyda but she didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his big brother. She still could barely believe Thor was talking to her, treating her as though they were lifelong friends. It was a little nerve-wracking, though Synn couldn’t deny that it was nice to be spoken candidly with.

“Of course,” Thor chuckled, “how long have you known each other?”

“Eight years.” Synn responded. It felt like just yesterday that they had met, yet they had spent so much time with each other that it also felt like decades.

Thor hummed, having proved his point at least to himself, he knew that Loki had only started to spend time in the gardens around eight years ago. Synn seemed unaware and Thor changed the subject.

“I have so many stories of him from our childhood but I’ve never had anyone to tell them to who knew him well enough to appreciate them.” Thor smiled mischievously, his eyes glinting with glee at the chance to embarrass his little brother.

“I know he would hate that,” Synn started seriously, taking a moment to think on it, before returning the look she was being given, “but I would love nothing more than to hear stories about him, the more embarrassing the better.”

Thor roared with laughter, putting his hand on his chest.

“I see why he likes you.” He said, before immediately starting to spill all that he had seen Loki do as a child. They spent the next hour giggling together like school children, Synn gasping as Thor told her of their exploits and the tricks that Loki had played on him and many other unfortunate souls to pass by. She could barely believe it was the same Loki that she knew, he was mischievous and he had always loved his tricks, but this version of him was much more intense. She made a mental note of these stories, she would be using them to tease Loki as soon as she could.

Thor was arrogant like Loki had said, but he was also quite personable. His boisterous attitude was not out of selfishness but out of self-confidence, making him much more enjoyable to be around than Loki had made him seem. She could imagine how Loki would feel overshadowed by Thor’s endless energy, but she appreciated that he could carry the conversation, making it much easier for her to relax.

“As much as I have enjoyed this, I’m afraid that if I do not get back to work soon that Gyda will have my head.” Synn excused herself, knowing she had probably taken too long of a break. Though even Gyda couldn’t deny one of the princes what they wanted and if that was to take up Synn’s time, there wasn’t much she could do. However, she didn’t want to be seen slacking off or taking advantage of Thor’s need to talk.

“This had been fun,” Thor stood up, Synn standing up with him only to receive another clap on the back that sent her reeling, “we should do this again sometime, I have more tales where those came from.”

“I’d like that.” Synn smiled and waved as he left.

“Let me know if you see any good snakes, I am a huge fan of snakes.” Thor called over his shoulder. Synn nodded at him, it was the least she could do in exchange for his tales of Loki.

She turned back to continue her work, shaking her head. How had she managed to have most of the royal family know her by name? Thor had overheard Loki speaking with his mother about her, meaning the Queen was also aware of who she was. She wished she knew what Loki had told her, she had been too shy to ask Thor about it.

“What did Prince Thor want with you?” Asked another gardener who had been working within sight of her.

“Just wanted to talk about the plans for the garden.” Synn shrugged, doing her best to lie. She’d never been good at it, but whether the other worker believed her or not, he did not say anything more, only looked at her confused, before returning to his work.

Back at her room that night, Idun had pulled her aside, sitting Synn down on her bed. The rest of the girls were gathered on the other side of the room to use the mirror that hung there.

“I hear that both princes have come to visit you now, is there something your not telling us?” Idun asked, a knowing smile on her face. Gossip travelled quickly in the palace, much quicker than Synn had expected.

“Uh, nope, nothing.” Synn stuttered, eyes darting around.

“Uh-huh,” Idun put her hands on her hips, “I’m your friend, you can trust me, plus you’re a horrible liar.”

“I know,” Synn deflated, they’d been keeping their friendship a secret so that she would be able to integrate without the other staff seeing her differently, but now that she was settled, there was no harm in telling at least one friend, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone, just because I know it will attract all sorts of unwanted attention and gossip, but I’ve known Prince Loki since we were kids, we’ve been friends for a long time.”

“You’re friends with the prince and you didn’t tell me?!” Idun whispered in shock, playfully slapping Synn’s arm.

“I know, I’m sorry, we just didn’t want it to affect my transition here.” Synn bit her lip, running her thumb over the smooth metal of her bracelet.

“It’s okay,” Idun put her hand on Synn’s shoulder, “your secret is safe with me, though I can’t stop the rumours going around, a lot of people have seen you two together.”

“Thank you, Idun.” Synn breathed in relief. She had heard whispers of rumours surrounding her and Loki, but she was sure that as soon as something new and exciting came up that those would die down.

“So, do you like him?” Idun asked, a mischievous smile on her face.

“Of course I do, he’s my friend.” Synn feigned ignorance, even though she knew what her friend was implying.

“You kissed him yet?” Idun teased, no longer being subtle in her questioning.

“Idun!” Synn hissed, shoving her friend. Idun cackled, drawing the attention of some of the other girls in the room. Synn wished she could disappear into her bed and never come out.

“You should, he’s not bad on the eyes.” Idun waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“I’m going to bed now.” Synn got up abruptly, firmly ending the conversation. She gave Idun one last warning look before getting up. Idun shook her head, if she had not known how Synn felt before, she at least had an idea now based on the way Synn was so easy to fluster when it came to Loki.

It was only a few days until Synn saw Loki again, meeting him for their walk on her day off before she was set to go to her family’s home. They made idle chat while they walked until Synn could not hold back her glee any longer.

“I met your brother the other day, he knew who I was.” She held back her smile as much as she could, unable to look him in the eyes. Loki stopped in his tracks, turning to face her, grabbing her shoulders so that she was facing him. Synn had to bite her lip when she saw the horrified expression on his face.

“Thor? Thor knew? How?” Loki demanded.

“I didn’t know you told your mother about me,” Synn laughed, enjoying that he was the one flustered for a change, “I’m surprised you didn’t realize Thor had overheard you a few times, he’s not exactly the quietest.”

“Of course he did.” Loki groaned, smacking his hand against his face.

“There’s also been a lot of people who have seen us together,” Synn pointed out, “Idun knows now, it was only a matter of time before Thor heard.”

“I was hoping to put that off for as long as possible, he can be such a nuisance.” Loki drawled, wiping his hand down his face dramatically.

“I’m glad he came to find me,” Synn continued their walk, leaving Loki a few steps behind her, making him speed to catch up, “he had so many good stories to tell about you.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Loki grumbled, a scowl on his face.

“I think you’ve already tried that, a few times, will this one be successful? Another frog transformation, perhaps?.” Synn laughed, watching the helpless look on Loki’s face. She was so going to enjoy this. She could not wait to see Thor next, being able to tease Loki was an opportunity she would never pass up. She needed more ammunition, something that Thor was in a perfect position to provide. Her time at the palace kept getting better and better, she couldn’t imagine anything that could stop the joy she held in her heart. She had her friends, her family, and a fulfilling work-life, what could go wrong?

Notes:

The next chapter will likely be out soon :) I've already started editing it, it's going to be dramatic because it isn't Loki without a bit of drama!

Chapter 7

Summary:

Synn gets a message from Thor, why is the God of Thunder calling on her?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The years passed by quicker than Synn could have imagined. She had settled well into palace life, enjoying the mundanity of the day-to-day. She had slowly risen up the ranks of palace gardeners until she was among those that Gyda would go to for counsel. The older woman would never show how proud of Synn she was, but Synn could see the care Gyda had in her eyes when she thought Synn wasn’t looking.

Synn saw Loki around frequently and often had to ignore the excited gossip of those around her when he would stop by the gardens to sit with her as she worked. She would listen as he chatted, telling her of all the battles and diplomatic missions he’d been a part of. As he’d grown older he had more and more responsibilities in protecting the Nine Realms. She worried for him when he was away, but took comfort in the fact that he was never alone. He was frequently accompanied by his brother, or Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. She had never met them but from what she had heard, they were a force to be reckoned with. It wasn’t that she thought Loki couldn’t handle himself, but his penchant for mischief had been known to create a fair amount of trouble.

On a rare occasion, Gyda would come over, a playful scolding look on her face.

“Now don’t you go distracting Synn from her work, she’s one of the best gardeners I have.” Gyda would say, pointing a teasing finger towards Loki. He would raise his hands in surrender, a goofy smile on his face.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, I promise I’m not here to steal her away.” He would say with a chuckle. It made Synn blush every time. Loki’s eyes would sparkle at her and Gyda would leave them alone with one last look of warning. Gyda knew she would not be able to stop the young prince from doing what he wanted, but she enjoyed seeing Synn flustered. What was the point of being the boss if you couldn’t tease your employees every once in a while? It didn’t take a detective to see how much Synn cared for Loki and Gyda was not ignorant to Loki’s feelings for Synn either.

“You know, I’ve seen Prince Loki around much more often since you’ve started working here.” Gyda had pointed out one day, only a few years into her work there. Synn had blushed and brushed it off, but was secretly pleased to hear it.

Thor had also continued to drop by, more than happy to relay new stories of his brother, much to Loki’s chagrin. Synn was a good listener, giving Thor the captive audience he needed. Loki and Thor were similar in that way, always ones to show off for a willing crowd. Loki would never admit it, but Synn could see how much Thor cared for him. She hoped one say that Loki would see it too. Jealousy had been brewing in her friend, Loki had tried to not let it bother him, but Synn saw through it. He wanted his father’s approval more than anything, and couldn’t stand to see his arrogant brother rewarded where Loki wasn’t. Synn feared that it would only continue to spiral, but was at loss as to what she could do.

The routine continued and Synn was happy. Asta had finally started courting Frida, much to her family's excitement. Synn was happy for her cousin, though she no longer had anything to hold over Asta's head in the way she could hold Loki over hers.

Synn felt at peace, and her friendship with Loki only grew stronger. While Asta and Idun both continued to bug her over when she would tell Loki how she felt, she was content to continue as they were. She promised herself she would tell him eventually, but every time she thought of it she would send herself into a panic. What if he didn’t return her feelings? Would he be uncomfortable around her? No longer want to be her friend? Or would he try to be polite about it but ultimately distance himself? It wasn’t something she was ready to risk.

“Message for Synn.” A voice called from the entrance to the garden. Synn had just finished planting a rather heavy orange tree, it had taken a lot of strength to maneuver it, and a lot of time to dig an appropriately sized hole for it. Synn was proud of the work she had done and could not wait for the tree to start producing fruit.

Upon hearing her name she poked out from around the tree and waved at the woman who’d spoken. The woman walked over as Synn wiped the sweat off her forehead, realizing too late that she had just smeared dirt all over her face. Internally, Synn berated herself, she really ought to be more careful. You’d think after so many years of gardening that she’d understand that dirt tended to smear easily.

The woman worked in the upper class of the palace, she was dressed in beautiful fabrics and golden accessories, her hair and makeup done perfectly. Synn appreciated how much work the woman must put into her looks every day, she couldn’t imagine having to look that pristine at all times. She loved being able to work in the dirt, but looking at this woman had Synn wondering what it would be like to have a part of your job demand that you are beautiful at all times. It must be exhausting and Synn’s appreciated the woman’s skills.

“I have a message from Prince Thor.” The woman said. Synn’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, Thor had never asked for her before. He normally stopped by himself to talk with her or look for some of the fruit-bearing trees.

As far as she knew Thor had been with Loki on an off-world mission. Could it have something to do with Loki? Though Loki was capable enough as it was to come to get her on his own should he need to talk to her. Synn felt her heart constrict at the sudden thought that perhaps Loki had been hurt and was unable to come to find her.

“Is everything alright?” Synn asked, trying and failing to mask the worry in her voice.

“He asked me to bring you to him right away, I don’t know more than that.” The woman explained. Synn paused remembering the large swipe of dirt on her forehead and looked down at her hands, also covered in dirt.

“Did it seem urgent?” Synn asked. The woman simply nodded and gestured for Synn to walk with her. Synn sighed, the dirt would have to stay for now, especially if the urgency was on behalf of Loki, she didn’t want to waste any time cleaning up.

Synn bid goodnight to Gyda, letting her know she would finish up with the rest of the orange trees tomorrow. Gyda gave her a knowing look, seeing the woman escorting Synn, and waved Synn away with an exasperated gesture.

The walk was silent as they went farther into the palace, Synn getting more nervous as they passed people giving her odd looks. She felt out of place and she stuck out like a sore thumb. She would normally walk through the staff corridors where no one would bat an eye at her state of dishevelment, but the woman escorting her had brought her through the main halls. Thor better have a good reason for his urgency.

Synn was in awe the further she walked in. There were beautiful marble pillars lining hallways, arches stretching high above. Stunning murals were hung on the walls depicting battles from Asgard’s history. She could barely believe this was where Loki lived, she wondered why he would ever leave a place so beautiful, as a child, he left somewhere as stunning as the inner palace to what, hang out with an awkward girl and her tiny garden? Synn couldn’t fathom it.
Synn had no idea where they were but figured they must be close, they had been walking for some time up staircases and through large hallways.

As they rounded a corner, Synn turned to ask the woman beside her when she heard a booming voice from up ahead. She turned her head towards the noise as she recognized a familiar figure walking towards her.

“Synn!” Thor shouted, holding his arms wide, what looked like a tankard of mead in his hand. “I haven’t seen you for ages! Where have you been?”

“Hiding from you, of course.” Synn teased as Thor came closer to pick her up in a bone-crushing hug. She coughed as the air was squeezed out of her and her feet were taken off the ground.

Synn hadn’t noticed at first, but a woman was standing beside Thor. She was dressed in red and silver armour, her long brown hair tied up in a ponytail. She had a serious air to her, Synn figured that if she was hanging out with Thor, someone had to be the adult.

“Ah, where are my manners?” Thor boomed, gesturing to the woman standing beside him.

“This is Lady Sif, one of Asgard’s finest warriors,” Thor announced, his face in a wide smile.

“And this is Synn, Loki’s friend I was telling you about,” Thor said, waggling his eyebrows at her. Synn blanched, what exactly had Thor been telling other people about her and Loki?

“It is lovely to meet you, Synn. You’ve given us quite a good amount of ammunition to keep Loki in line.” Lady Sif said with a small bow.
“Um, thank you, I think,” Synn said, unsure of how to respond to that, before giving Thor a questioning look.

“What have you been telling people?” Synn asked with a blush.

“Only the truth.” Thor had a knowing smile on his face.

“If it weren’t the truth, I don’t think it would work so well to shut him up.” Lady Sif pointed out, causing Thor to laugh heartily and Synn to stare awkwardly at the ground.

“Why did you ask for me?” Synn asked, changing the subject.

“Come with me, I will explain on our way.” Thor put his arm around her shoulders to lead her farther down the hall. From his joyous attitude, Synn gathered that Loki was likely not on death’s door. She could relax a little, releasing her pent-up anxiety over her friend’s wellbeing.

“Lady Sif, I will see you later to celebrate!” Thor lifted his drink at his companion.

“You better! Volstagg will not settle until he gets a rematch with you!” Lady Sif called before turning around and walking around the corner, quickly followed by the woman who had escorted Synn to the palace.

“You know,” Thor paused to look at her forehead. “You’ve got a lot of dirt on you.”

Synn reached up, having momentarily forgotten. She could brush off some of the dirt now that it had dried, but her sweat had caked most of it to her skin. Perfect.

“Here, let me get that for you,” Thor said. Synn tried to put her hands up to protest but Thor had already taken the liberty of dunking the end of his cape into his glass and wiping it along her face. To be fair, it had gotten the dirt off her face, but now she smelled horribly of mead.

“Thank you, Thor,” Synn said sarcastically, using her hand to get rid of some excess wine still clinging to her skin.

“Anything for the woman who brings my brother so much joy.” The sarcasm had gone right over Thor’s head. Synn blushed, not knowing what to say.

As they continued walking, Thor looked around quickly before speaking quietly to her.

“The battle we have just come back from was a tricky one, we had been cornered along with a small group of civilians. Of course, we were going to get out, the great warriors that we are.” Thor took a moment to boast, “Loki made a risky move, one that endangered the Asgardian warriors but was successful in saving the civilians, it was a truly noble act, and in the end, no one was hurt. However, our father did not see it that way. What he saw was reckless endangerment of our people. He has reprimanded Loki and punished him unfairly. Loki has since locked himself in his room, and I fear that his solitude will not do him any good.”

Synn frowned, she knew Loki and his father did not get along very well, but if no one had been hurt, what was the harm in saving innocent lives?

“I’ve called you because he will not talk to me or Mother. He is close with you and you are not close with Father, I believe that is why he will not talk with either of us.” Thor concluded. Synn nodded, of course she would try, it wouldn’t be the first time she had talked with Loki when he was upset with his father and she doubted it would be the last. The man had a knack for putting his youngest son on edge.

It had not taken them long before they reached a set of beautiful wooden doors lined with a striking silver frame.

“This is his room, I will go now, I do not think he will take too kindly to me getting involved. Good luck.” Thor promptly turned on his heels and heading back the way they had come. Synn stared after him for a moment, watching as his dark red cape billowed out behind him when he turned the corner. She looked at the doors for another moment before knocking gently, not sure what to expect. She heard footsteps approach her and Loki speak.

“I said I wanted to be left alone!” He shouted, his voice sounding angry and hoarse. Synn frowned, not used to hearing him use that tone of voice.

“Loki, It’s me, Synn. May I come in?” She asked. There was a moment of silence, Loki saying nothing, though there was no sound of footsteps which meant he hadn’t simply walked away. She took that as a good sign.

“I don’t know how to get back, I can’t leave on my own even if I wanted to,” Synn added.

The hallways all looked alike and Synn was sure she would get lost before she found a way out.
The doors were pulled open, allowing a small space for her to walk through. She was nervous to enter his chambers, she knew it wasn’t proper, but she had never really been one to be proper anyways.

When Synn entered his room, she felt her breath leave her. It was stunning, to put it lightly. There was beautifully carved furniture lining the walls, all in the same dark wood. A small breakfast table was tucked away in the corner, with many ornate mirrors lining the walls. In the centre on the far wall stood the biggest bed Synn had ever seen; it was covered in green silk sheets and had perfectly fluffed pillows sitting on top. To the sides of the bed were two entrances to a balcony that overlooked the whole of Asgard, their green curtains blowing delicately in the wind. Synn could only imagine what an incredible view that must be, but her attention quickly focused back on Loki who was standing behind the door, looking perfectly pristine.

“Loki?” Synn asked, his face was impassive, she wasn’t sure what he was feeling. His walls were up and he was blocking her out. Luckily for her, she was particularly skilled at getting him to drop his guard.

“I can call for a guard to escort you back to your chambers.” Loki avoided eye contact and moved to step outside when Synn reached out to grab his arm, feeling his cool skin beneath hers. She opened her mouth to speak before pausing and looking at where she had grabbed him. To her eyes, it looked like he was wearing sleeves that went all the way down to his wrists, but she was sure that she was feeling skin. He was using illusion magic. She gave him an exasperated look, letting go of him, crossing her arms across her chest, and leaning on her right leg.

“Illusion magic? Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out?” Synn asked. Loki looked back at her, annoyed that she had found out so quickly, but then he really should have taken into account Synn’s track record of being a hands-on person. Loki closed the door, he wasn’t going to get out of this now, and took down the illusion.

Synn’s look softened as she took in his form. His hair was out of its usual slicked back look, strands falling in his face and sticking out in many directions like he had grabbed it tightly in frustration. He had cuts and bruises on his face, his lip having been split open. The arm where Synn had grabbed him was cut up as well, the sleeve had been ripped off at the bicep. His outfit was covered in burn marks and ash, a fiery smell lingering in the air.

“Happy now?” He asked defensively, looking away from her. Synn sighed, reaching out to gently grab his chin and turn his face back to her.

“I’m not here to make myself happy, I’m here for you,” Synn said sincerely. Loki removed her hand, pacing across the room to stand in the balcony entrance, his fists balling at his sides.

“Who sent you here to placate me like I’m a child? I can handle this on my own.” He was being stubborn, his father always put him in the worst of moods, but she had never seen him this angry before. She could feel his rage bubbling below the surface, barely being contained.

Telling Loki that Thor was the one who had sent for her would not help at that time, she would tell him later. For now, she would leave that part out. She followed him over and leaned against the balcony door frame.

“I know you can, but you don’t have to. I’m your friend, I want to help, I’m not just doing it to pacify you.” Synn promised.

“What kind of help can you offer, you don’t understand what it’s like living with the King as your father, you don’t even have one.” Loki’s eyes were clouded with anger as he looked at her. Synn wouldn’t deny it, that had hurt a lot. It was a low blow and Loki knew it. He was lashing out like a cat backed into a corner. He was trying to push her away and she wasn’t going to let that happen. Synn tried hard to keep her tears at bay but knew they were shining in her eyes.

“That comment hurt, Loki, and if you don’t want me here and you want to wallow in your self-pity for the rest of the evening then fine, I won’t stop you, but you can never speak to me like that. I am not your father, I am not your brother, I am only loyal to you. If you want me to stay then let me in, I can help, and I want to help.” Synn bit out. Loki’s eyes flashed with guilt at her words and he looked away.

“I know you’re hurting, I can see it on your face and hear it in your words. Let me listen, let me be there for you like I have before. Please.” Synn reminded herself of her Aunt Astrid when she reprimanded her and Asta. The thought would have made her chuckle under normal circumstances, but now was not the time.

There was a silence that stretched between them. Synn waited for Loki to make a move, if he did truly want her to leave then she would, but she was reluctant to leave him alone without a fight.

Loki, let out a tired sigh, relaxing his position and leaned against the opposite door frame from Synn.

“I’m sorry, Synn.” Loki looked up at her, his anger still apparent, but the intensity had lessened, “My father brings out the worst in me and I didn’t want you to see me like this. Now, not only has that happened but I’ve hurt you in the process.”

“You did, and I rather think you owe me for that comment,” Synn had a kinder tone to her voice, no longer needing the sternness she had adopted before, “but we can talk about that later. For now, I just want to make sure that you’re alright.”

Synn took a few steps until she was standing in front of Loki, reaching out to hold his hands in hers.

“I thought I had done something good, saving those civilians, but all father could see was the risk I had posed to our people. He told me that they were not worth Aesir lives and that I should have let them die.” Loki squeezed her hands lightly.

“And do you believe that?” Synn asked, tilting her head.

“No, of course not, but I can’t go against my father’s wishes and he has forbidden me from doing so again,” Loki explained.

“The only thing anyone can ask from you is that you do what you think is right. Your father cannot continue to fault you for saving innocent lives without criticism coming back to him.” Synn expressed. “And if you think what is right is to follow your father’s wishes then that is up to you as well. You’re a good man, I know you will do what you feel is right.”

“My father is stubborn, I fear he won’t see it that way.” Loki had a troubled look on his face.

“Then I will be here to support you when he doesn’t. You don’t have to do this alone.” Synn squeezed his hand. He shot her a grateful smile and opened his mouth to speak when he paused and sniffed the air, giving Synn a confused look.

“Why do you smell of mead?” He asked, having been momentarily distracted from the serious conversation.

“Thor was the one who asked for me to come here. I had just been working and you know how I always seem to get dirt all over myself. He thought it would be better if he washed it off with his mead.” Synn explained, frowning at the memory. Loki scoffed at his brother’s antics, he could be such a buffoon.

“Speaking of Thor, I know you and your brother don’t often see eye to eye, but if it helps, Thor thought that what you did was admirable.” Synn pointed out. Loki rolled his eyes, pulling his hands out of Synn’s and walking towards his bed. He sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Thor wouldn’t know an admirable act if it hit him in the face.” He said, annoyance dripping from his voice. Synn laughed, once again following Loki over to his new perch.

“Maybe you’re right, but you would at least have him on your side.” She sat down beside him, put a hand on his back.

“Maybe.” Loki rubbed his eyes. Synn could see the anger leave his body as his shoulders slumped and his body relaxed. He looked exhausted, likely from the battle as well as the fight with his father. Synn moved up the bed so her back was resting against the headboard and her legs were spread out on top of the sheets.

“Come here.” She said, patting her lap.

“You want me to sit in your lap?” He asked, looking at her incredulously.

“No, put your head in my lap.” She laughed, though Loki had yet to move.

“Trust me, my aunt used to do this for me when I was having a hard day.” She explained, a kind smile warming her face.

Loki, too tired to ask any more questions, did as told, resting his head on her lap and his body on the bed.

Synn started gently raking her fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his soft strands moving under her hand. Loki’s eyes drifted closed, allowing them to sit in silence, enjoying the peace. He hadn’t expected to like it that much, but her fingers were gentle, immediately putting him at ease.

“I truly am sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it.” Loki opened his eyes and let out a large yawn.

“We can talk about how you’ll make it up to me later,” Synn said smugly.

“I guess I deserve that.” Loki chuckled.

“You do, but you should rest now. It’ll give me some time to think of what I would like in recompense.” Synn teased.

“Whatever you would like, it’s yours.” Loki’s s voice was heavy with exhaustion, his eyes returning to their shut position.

“Get some rest now, I love you, Loki,” Synn said, still racking her fingers through his hair.

“Love you too,” Loki mumbled already half asleep. Synn held her tongue from saying more, her heart crying out for what she so desperately wanted but was so scared to ask for. She wanted Loki, more than anything she wanted to kiss him and tell him how much she truly loved him, and for that feeling to be returned. As she stared down at his soft face, his mouth parted as he slept soundly, she knew her heart could not take much more of this waiting. She loved him, every part of him, even the ones he tried to hide from her. She wanted to be with him more than she had ever wanted anything else, but for now, she would settle for the tender moment they shared. She would be daydreaming about gently playing with Loki’s hair as he slept in her lap for many months to come.

Synn fell asleep, hand wrapped gently in Loki’s hair, not wanting to move him from his peaceful position. It may not have been the most comfortable, but she found that falling asleep with Loki beside her made her feel at ease in a way she had not experienced before, and longed to experience again.

As both friends slept soundly, calmed by each other’s presence, the door to Loki’s room silently crept open. A large blonde head, belonging to an inebriated God of Thunder poked itself through the opening. Thor watched his brother and Synn sleep for a moment, pleased with himself for having orchestrated an event that left his brother asleep in the arms of the woman he loved. Whether Loki admitted it or not, Thor could tell his brother’s feelings for Synn. The success of this event got Thor thinking; this had clearly ended well, what else could he do to push the two clueless love birds together.

Thor quietly closed the door, rushing back to his room to jot down his ideas. The God of Thunder was determined, and when he was determined, nothing could stop him. Not even his little brother.

Notes:

This was a hard one to write! I went through a lot of different versions of that fight.

I can't wait to put out the next chapter, it's gonna be a good one :) (Maybe even a little romance????)

Chapter 8

Summary:

Synn gets a surprise

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been surprisingly easy to slip Synn out of Loki’s room the following morning. Loki had made sure that the hallways had been empty and then brought her along the lesser-used pathways until she was familiar enough with the area that she could walk herself back to her room. It was early enough that very few people were in the halls, most were still sleeping, the sun only having just started to rise. While it would be tolerated for her to visit Loki in private, anyone seeing her leave his room come morning time was sure to start rumours.

Loki promised a surprise for her, saying he needed a few days to get it ready, but was adamant that it would be worth it. Synn had hugged him, glad to see him well-rested and no longer filled with rage like he had been the night before.

As they parted they had both shared a look of longing but Synn decided to say nothing of her feelings. It was becoming clearer to her that perhaps it was reciprocated but she feared what it would cost them should it not be.

Idun had raised her eyebrow at Synn when she crept in. Synn blushed when her friend gave her a suggestive wink and quickly scurried to her bed. She denied everything when Idun questioned her, she’d just been out for an early morning stroll is all. Idun had rolled her eyes, she knew the truth and that was good enough for her. She was sure Synn would tell her all in due time.

Loki got to work planning Synn’s surprise soon after she was gone. He had a good idea but wanted it to be perfect. He deeply regretted his cruel words from the night before, the memory of Synn’s crushed face haunting him. He would make it up to her, after everything she had done for him, she deserved the best surprise he could give her. Though she normally hated surprises, Loki was confident that this one would be different.

On the evening of Synn’s last day working in the gardens for the week, the woman that had escorted her through the castle only a few days prior stopped by to deliver a message. It was from Loki and asked her to meet him at the palace entrance the following morning for the surprise he had promised her. She had not seen him much in the past few days, he had only stopped by once to let her know he was still working on preparing something for her. She was excited to see him again, her curiosity keeping her up late into the night, wondering what was waiting for her.

When she met Loki the following morning, he was waiting for her along with two horses and a basket of what looked like food tied to one of the horses.

“What’s all this for?” Synn asked, eyeing the horses suspiciously.

“If I were to tell you that would ruin the surprise, wouldn’t it?” Loki said, a mischievous smile on his face.

“I can’t ride a horse if that's part of your surprise.” Synn pointed out. Loki’s face fell momentarily, he supposed that was something he should have realized. No matter, there was an easy solution.

“Well, then you’ll just have to ride with me.” Loki offered Synn his hand. Synn was still skeptical but accepted his help in getting onto the horse. She held on tightly to the saddle, sitting closer to the back of the horse than she wanted to be. The horse was rather tall and she feared falling off, she would likely be fine but it would hurt.

Loki jumped up after her, sitting down in front.

“Hold on to me,” Loki instructed. Synn wrapped her arms around his middle. She had already been hyperaware of their legs rested against each other, but now she was fully pressed up against his back, no part of her escaping his touch. She sent a silent prayer of thanks that he couldn’t see her deep blush.

The two departed and headed towards the outskirts of Asgard. They rode in silence, Synn holding on for dear life, her fists balled in the fabric of Loki’s clothes. She had never been at such high speeds before and was terrified of falling off. It was too loud with the pounding of the horse’s hooves on the path and the wind rushing in her ears to speak but Synn felt his chest rumble with a laugh as she clung even harder to him.

She was confused as to why they were headed towards the edge of their world, as far as she was aware there was nothing at the edge except for rocks and a straight drop off the edge of Asgard via waterfall.

“What are we doing out here?” Synn asked as they slowed down and approached a large rocky cliff.

“Just a little further, trust me, it will be worth it.” Loki continued towards the bottom of the cliff.

By the time they stopped, it was almost midday and Synn was getting rather hungry.

“Here it is.” Loki gestured to the rock wall in front of him. He hopped off the horse, Synn mourning the loss of contact, but was pleased when he grabbed her by the waist to help her down.

“It’s very… solid.” Synn looked at him quizzically, not wanting to offend Loki but at a loss of what else to say. Loki frowned at her before looking at the wall.

“Ah, uh, no, sorry, just give me a second.” He put his hand up to the wall. A green light shone from the stone, something that Synn recognized as the tell-tale sign of Loki’s magic. The green light slowly trailed along the stone, creating what appeared to be a door. Loki reached forward and grabbed the handle, pulling it open.

“Ladies first.” He smiled at her as he made a grand sweeping gesture towards the entrance. Synn quickly tied the horse to a nearby tree and gave Loki one more questioning look before entering. Loki followed quickly behind her, basket in hand.

They walked for no more than a minute through a cramped stone walkway, the only light coming from a glowing orb on Loki’s hand that he had conjured. As they neared the end, Loki extinguished the orb, allowing the natural light from the clearing up ahead to guide them the rest of the way.

When Synn exited the tunnel her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth hung open. They had walked into the most beautiful oasis that Synn could ever have imagined. It was a large enclosed circle of stone, beautiful Ivy vines running along the walls, bright purple flowers blossoming among them. The sun shone high in the sky and cast its beautiful warm rays down onto the vibrant green grass below. In the centre of the clearing was a clear blue pool of water, shimmering gently in the sunlight. She could see all the way down to the sandy bottom below and noticed a few species of fish swimming along the floor.

Synn looked back at Loki who was watching her reaction carefully.

“This is beautiful, Loki, how did you find it?” Synn asked, clutching her hands to her chest. Loki smiled, pleased that her reaction was what he had hoped for.

“I was testing my magic nearby and I felt the presence of that hidden doorway,” He explained with a shrug, “I saw these plants and thought of you immediately.”

Loki bent down to pick a bright yellow flower that had been sitting by the entrance. He stood back up and gently tucked it behind her ear. Synn touched the flower with a small smile.

“Thank you,” She said, trying to ignore the way her breath hitched in her throat, “I’ve never seen some of these flowers before, I wonder what they’re called.”

Loki hummed in agreement before holding up the basket he was carrying.

“Should we eat?” He asked. Synn was about to answer when the growling of her stomach answered for her.

“Come on.” Loki laughed, guiding her further towards the water.

They sat down at the edge of the pool and Loki pulled the cheese, meat, bread, and grapes he had brought out of the basket.

Synn could hardly wait to eat them and all but shoved them in her mouth with the grace of a toddler. She was comfortable enough around Loki that she did not care to mind her manners.

They ate in silence, Synn was too distracted by the flowers surrounding them and the delicious food to say much of anything. Synn dangled her feet in the water and watched in fascination as one of the small fish came over and swam around her feet. She giggled when she felt the fish brush the bottom of her foot with its fin. Loki watched her with a warm smile, enjoying spending time just the two of them with no one around. It felt like old times when they would meet at her small secluded garden, with no one to watch them as they played. In the palace garden or walking along the halls, there were always people around, it was relatively private, but Loki never felt like he could truly relax, he was always on edge, waiting for someone to get too close to them.

They finished up their meal, Synn examining one of the flowers beside the pool of water when an idea struck her. She tried to hide her smirk as she quickly reached down into the water and splashed it towards the boy beside her.

Loki spluttered and jumped back with a surprised shout, now standing, holding his arms out to the side so his wet sleeves wouldn’t touch his side. Sure he had gotten a bit of water on him, but the dramatically disgusted face he was pulling made Synn throw her head back with laughter.

“I don’t see what’s so funny,” Loki shook the water off with a flick of his wrists.

“You should have seen your face!” Synn exclaimed, still shaking with laughter.

“Well let’s see how you like it.” Loki moved his hand in an upwards motion. Synn recognized in a second that he was using magic but it was too late. A column of water shot out of the pool and directly into her face. Synn put her hands out in front of her to try to stop the flow of water and fell backwards to avoid getting even more drenched. Synn gasped and blinked the water out of her eyes. Her hair was plastered to her skull and had dripped down and soaked her front. She looked up at Loki through her soaked eyelashes and found him laughing, his hand on his stomach.

“No fair!” Synn scurried away from the water, kneeling in the grass. Loki squatted down in front of her and lifted her chin.

“Shouldn’t have started a fight you couldn’t finish.” He said, his cocky attitude shining through. Synn gave him a withering look and stuck her tongue out at him before standing up.

“Now I’m soaked, I didn’t bring a change of clothes.” Synn wrang her hair out.

“No better time for a swim then.” Loki shrugged, gesturing towards the pool. Synn blushed slightly, not only had she not brought anything appropriate to wear while swimming, she had never actually swam before. She hadn’t had any opportunity as a child as she’d never lived close to any body of water. Loki had already started to take his shoes off when Synn spoke up.

“I don’t know how to swim.” She admitted quietly, looking away shyly and clasping her hands behind her.

“You’ve never swam before? Surely you’ve spent some time at one of Asgard’s many beaches.” Loki asked, looking at her incredulously. Synn shrugged.

“I have not, you know there was none where I grew up and I’ve been at the palace ever since.” She explained. Loki considered this for a second.

“No matter, I can teach you.” He extended his hand to her. She accepted his offer and stood with him at the edge of the water. Though she trusted Loki not to let her drown, there was that one other small problem.

“I don’t have anything to wear swimming either.” Synn gestured to her clothes. Her dress was not as large and elaborate as some of the dresses she had seen around the castle but it was one of her nicer ones and was made of a thick material that she was sure would only weigh her down.

Loki smiled wickedly at her before taking a step back and quickly stripping off his tunic and pants, leaving him standing in his underwear.

“Close enough.” He said as he turned and launched himself into the water, in a graceful dive. If Synn’s face could turn any redder it would have. She had not been expecting Loki to undress so suddenly, but she found she was not entirely opposed to it. Her heart hammered in her chest, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach as she watched the sun glint of his smooth skin. She tried her best not to stare as he had jumped into the pool, but couldn’t help but notice the way his lithe frame rippled with more muscles than she had expected as his body arched towards the water.

Synn’s throat felt dry as Loki came up for air, wiping the water quickly from his face with his hands, running his fingers through his hair. Synn felt a sudden urge to want to run her fingers through in the same way but quickly tampered her feelings down. She needed to stop staring at her friend, she was sure her face betrayed her longing, but she found she couldn’t look away.

“The water is lovely.” Loki swam towards her. He reached the edge and looked up to where she was still standing nervously, twisting her still wet hair between her fingers.

“You don’t have to come in if you’re uncomfortable,” He assured her, “but I promise I won’t let you drown.”

Synn sighed, she did want to swim with Loki, though she had a feeling it would end up with her being dragged through the water instead of actually swimming. She was just feeling self-conscious. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Loki, she trusted him more than almost anyone else, on par with Asta. Synn was worried that Loki would not enjoy the softer aspects of her body compared to the women he was surrounded with at the palace. She had worked hard to love her body, its curves and stretch marks lining her hips, yet part of her brain still feared rejection. Having Loki be disgusted at her was not something she thought she could handle.

She took a deep breath and exhaled those thoughts from her brain. This was Loki she was talking about, not one of her co-workers or other friends in the palace. She knew logically that he would not judge her for how she looked. He had never once made a negative comment on her appearance. Synn remembered back to that moment in her old garden when he had given her the bracelet and called her beautiful. Why would he think differently now?

“Turn around.” She instructed, watching as Loki’s face lit up and he did as she had asked.

“No peeking.” She warned before quickly taking off her dress, leaving her standing in her bustier, covering her chest, and her undergarments, covering a surprisingly small amount of her bottom. She cursed herself for wearing underwear that sat so high on her hips, though she had to admit that they did look quite flattering. At least there was a plus.

She scampered over to the edge of the water and slipped in, resting with her stomach against the rocky edge and her arms folded on land.

Loki looked over at her, a soft look on his face that she could not identify.

“What?” She asked, shyly, fighting the urge to hide her still reddened face. Loki shook his head and pushed off the side of the pool.

“Nothing.” He reached out his hand, gesturing for her to grab hold. “Take my hand, I’ll make sure you stay afloat.”

Synn eyed his hand nervously but reached to meet him. His hand was soft but strong, dwarfing hers. For a moment she forgot about her half-naked appearance as she starred down into the bottom of the pool. It was not overly deep, no more than ten feet down, but that was taller than her and it would surely be difficult to get back up should she sink to the bottom.

Loki gently pulled her away from the edge. She kicked her legs frantically as she quickly grabbed for his other hand, holding onto it with a painfully tight grip.

“You’re fine, I’ve got you, just keep kicking.” He chuckled, swimming slowly backwards, pulling her along with him. Synn did as instructed and found herself calming down after the initial rush of adrenaline left her body. She was still afloat, not stuck at the bottom as she had feared.

“Though maybe you could release the iron grip you have on my hand.” Loki winced as she tightened her grip.

“Sorry!” Synn smiled apologetically, relaxing her grip but still holding on firmly.

They continued to go around the pool, close enough to the edge that Synn was pretty sure she could make it there if she needed to. Her legs were splayed out behind her, kicking quickly to keep her afloat. Loki watched her carefully, offering instruction on how to improve her form. After the first couple of laps around Synn felt better, her face was no longer the colour of a ripe strawberry and she was breathing a lot less erratically than she had been when she first let go of the wall.

“You’re better already.” Loki encouraged.

“I still feel silly, like a child learning to walk except I’m not a child, I’m a few hundred years old.” Synn joked, looking away from Loki.

“Nonsense.” Loki scoffed. “You’re a true natural.”

“Whatever you say, Loki.” Synn laughed, letting herself accept the compliment.

“I am, however, getting tired, perhaps -“ Synn had started to say before she felt something brush up against her calf. She rationally knew there were fish in the water, she had already interacted with one, but she was neither able to see the fish, nor did she expect anything to touch her.

Synn yelped in surprise, kicking as hard as she could and yanking on Loki’s hands, pulling them together. Before she could think about what she was doing, she found herself pressed tightly against Loki, her face buried in his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck, and her legs encircling his waist. She stilled as Loki continued to tread water. If she had felt hyperaware of the fact that they were both only wearing undergarments before, she was much more aware of it now. She could feel his bare skin against hers and his muscles working as he kicked hard enough to keep them both with their heads above water. She was frozen against him, still reeling from the surprise and not wanting to let go.

“Synn, are you alright?” Loki asked, placing one hand on the side of her face while using the other to continue treading water.

“Yes!” Synn exclaimed sharply, jerking her head back to look at him. Loki’s hand moved with her to rest against the side of her neck. Had she been less flustered from her fish scare, she would have paid more attention to his touch, his soft hands gently caressing her neck was not something she was likely to forget but was too busy to notice at that moment.

She let go of his waist with her legs to help in treading water, but she was still not quite confident in her ability to try to swim on her own so she kept her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Sorry, I felt something against my leg and it surprised me. I didn’t mean to jump on you!” She apologized with an embarrassed laugh, eyes darting to look at the water. Where had that fish gone?

“It’s quite alright, I’m just glad that nasty little fish didn’t bite your leg off.” Loki teased. Synn blushed, she had overreacted, hadn’t she?

“No need to make fun of me, I feel foolish enough on my own.” She looked back at Loki, mirth clear in the smile on her lips.

They locked eyes, Synn realizing just how close she still was to him. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, Synn able to feel his chest rising and falling as he breathed. Their faces were close enough that she could feel his breath on her lips. She could see the flecks of darker blue in his eyes and his smile slowly morph into an earnest look that made Synn’s heart flutter. Synn’s mouth parted slightly, her heart speeding up and the butterflies returning to her stomach.

Loki leaned closer, stopping when they were mere inches apart, their eyes darting back and forth to meet each other. It felt intimate in a way that Synn had not felt their connection before. They stayed like that for what felt like hours but was likely only seconds, their bodies sharing warmth, and their breaths mixing together.

Everything in Synn was telling her to close the gap, to press her lips against his. She wanted so badly to kiss him but felt frozen, unable to act on the desire clouding her brain. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from his, his light blue eyes pulling her in, urging her closer and closer. If she could only move the smallest amount she could make their lips meet.

The moment was broken when a bird flew overhead, letting out a shrieking caw. Synn was dismayed as she was brought back to reality. Loki looked up at the bird, annoyance in his face while Synn moved back. She kept ahold of him, but she had stretched her arms as far as they were comfortable going. She looked down, watching her feet kick in the water below. Her brain felt fuzzy with thoughts as they swirled around, yelling at her about what had almost happened.

She felt the need to run kick in, her body telling her to get out of there as fast as possible, but she knew that that would not help the situation. Synn cleared her throat and Loki looked back at her. The gentle look that had been there before was gone, now replaced with something much more guarded. Her heart longed to reach out and pull him closer once more, but the chance for that was gone and she was not sure if she would ever get another one.

“We should get going.” He said. “It was a long ride out here and it would be good to get back before dark.”

Synn nodded in agreement, not trusting herself to speak, and they got out of the water. They dried off using a towel Loki pulled out of the bottom of the picnic basket.

The awkward silence between them was palpable, neither knowing what to say or what the other was thinking. Had they actually meant it to happen? Or were they reading too far into it? Were they upset?

Wordlessly they made their way back to the horse and were on the path back towards the palace. The ride felt like a relief, it being hard to speak over the sound of hooves pounding the dirt. The silence was less deafening and more calming, allowing them both time to think. Though Synn found that having her whole body pressed up against Loki was not helping the longing building in her chest.

They arrived at the palace, Synn’s head still swimming. The horse was taken from them by attendants and they walked towards the palace entrance. They still hadn’t said a word to each other since they had departed, the silence growing more awkward by the minute.

Synn shot Loki a sad small as they reached the area where they were to part ways. Synn lived with the other staff in a secluded and more run-down part of the palace whereas Loki lived on a higher much more luxurious floor, something befitting his rank.

Loki nodded at her and turned to walk away, not meeting her gaze, but Synn in a moment of courage darted out her hand to hold his. He looked back at her in surprise, his eyes questioning.

“Thank you for today.” She said, barely above a whisper, “I had a great time, it was truly lovely.”

She squeezed his hand lightly before dropping it.

“Oh.” Loki rubbed at his neck, he had been so worried that she was upset with his behaviour that he hadn’t paused to think that maybe she had enjoyed her time.

“I hope we can do it again sometime.” Synn’s smile brightened.

“I would like that. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Loki smiled back at her, his stance relaxing. Synn was relieved to hear his admission and it only fuelled her courage.

“Goodnight, Loki.” She said, looking quickly around to make sure no one else was in the corridor with them. When she confirmed that the coast was clear, she stood on her tippy toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

Before Loki could react, Synn turned on her heels and started briskly walking away. Stunned, he reached up to feel his cheek, the warmth left from her lips still lingering, making his cheek tingle. He traced the ghost of the feeling with his fingers.

“Goodnight, Synn.” He called after her, his heart filling with hope, as she was turning the corner.

She looked back, hand on the wall, to shoot him a quick and bashful smile before leaving his sight. Loki stood in the hallway for a couple more moments, gathering his thoughts until h felt ready to move again, and turned towards his room, unable to get the jittery feeling to leave his chest.

That night as Synn lay wide awake in bed, her fingers touching her lips where she had met Loki’s soft cheek. She found herself wondering if his lips were that soft as well. She wished she could go back in time to find out, the memory of their almost kiss following her into her sleep, leaving her restless. How much longer could she keep her feelings from him? And how much longer did she want to pretend that nothing was going on between them? She was no longer so sure in her decision to keep her feelings from him, she would tell him, and she would tell him soon. If that day was any indication, then Loki may actually return her feelings, which wasn’t something she would waste.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was a fun one to write :)

Chapter 9

Summary:

Asta has a wedding!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“We’re getting married!” Asta and Frida announced, barely able to contain their excitement. Synn, barely through the door on one of her regular visits with her cousin, stopped in her tracks. Asta and Frida had been together for decades now, everyone wondering when they were going to finally tie the knot. They were taking their time, they would explain. They wanted to know each other and spend time just the two of them before settling down and starting a family. Synn understood, they had known each other as friends for so long, they needed time to rediscover each other as romantic partners.

They had taken over the bakery, her aunt and uncle moving to a smaller house nearer to the city centre. They were happy in their retirement but would often come back to help the women bake and socialize with their favourite customers.

“It’s about time!” Synn exclaimed, running in to pull the other girls into a tight hug, “I’m so happy for you two! I can’t imagine a more perfect couple.”

“Thank you, my soon-to-be cousin-in-law.” Frida joked.

“I’ve got something I need to ask you, Synn.” Asta laughed, pulling herself out of the hug, holding onto her cousin’s face with both hands and squishing her cheeks

“Of course, ask away.” Synn beamed, happy to be of help

“Will you be my maid of honour?” Asta asked, letting go of her cousin’s face. Synn squealed in excitement.

“I’d be honoured!” Emotion filled Synn’s voice as tears pricked at her eyes. She truly meant it, she was more than honoured to be a part of her cousin’s wedding. She was going to make sure that it was the best wedding ever, she would do anything for Asta, and couldn’t help but get emotional at the trust that had been placed in her.

“Don’t get all weepy on me.” Asta rolled her eyes, trying to hide the smile that crept up on her face.

“We have work to do!” Frida said, gathering up some books from beside the kitchen table.

They spent the whole afternoon and much of the evening planning, Frida’s older sister, Helka, her maid of honour, joined them halfway through the preparations. The wedding was to take place a month from then. It was extremely fast, but Asta and Frida had decided they had waited long enough. They had already decided on the location, a beautiful forest spot down by the water, but there were many other activities to plan. Synn knew she would have to come down to see her cousin more often, but she would take any excuse she could to see Asta more. The small get-together was a joyous event, filling Synn’s heart with extravagant ideas of romance.

As it got late and the sun started to set, Synn stifled a yawn from her spot at the table, messily jotting down notes only she would be able to read.

“You should get back, I don’t want you travelling alone in the dark.” Asta placed her hands on Synn’s drooping shoulders.

“Asta, I’m seven hundred and twenty-three, not ten, I will be fine.” Synn may have acted like she was exasperated, but she appreciated Asta’s concern, though she would never admit it. Asta had always acted like a big sister to her and would mother hen her at every opportunity. It was how Asta showed she cared for Synn, and Synn wasn’t about to ask her to stop.

“But you’ll always be my baby cousin,” Asta said fondly, standing up and offering Synn her hand. Synn took Asta’s hand in hers and let her cousin help her stand up, even though she didn’t need the help, she knew it would make Asta happy.

“I’ll walk you outside.” Asta led Synn towards the door. Synn said goodbye to Frida and Helka and walked out with Asta.

Once outside, Asta turned to Synn.

“Thank you, Synn. I’m so glad to have you involved in our wedding, it means a lot to me.” Asta pulled Synn in for a hug.

“Of course, Asta, I will always be there when you need me.” Synn returned the hug, giving Asta her signature tight squeeze.

“Don’t forget that it’s tradition for all of those in the wedding party to bring along a partner of their own,” Asta added, a smirk on her face. Synn blanched, she had forgotten about that.

“I think there’s a certain someone who would like to go with you, maybe that prince you’ve been hanging around with?” Asta nudged Synn suggestively with her elbow. Synn gasped loudly, covering Asta’s mouth with her hands, and looking around as if she was expecting to see said prince walking around outside her cousin’s bakery.

Asta laughed, removing Synn’s hands.

“I’m only joking, you don’t have to bring anyone, I don’t think anyone will notice,” Asta said, though Synn knew better. Dancing the traditional wedding dances would be difficult without someone to do it with, and she didn’t want to sit on the side and watch as the rest of the guests had fun.

“Yes, they would.” Synn countered, “But…” She trailed off, “Maybe after… maybe he would like to go.”

Synn blushed as she thought back to the swimming accident that had happened only a week ago. Asta gasped excitedly and slapped Synn’s arm.

“Maybe after what!?” She demanded, “Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened,” Synn said hurriedly, looking away from her cousin, “I’m probably just overthinking it, but I think we almost kissed and then I kissed him on the cheek and he still comes to spend time with me, that must mean something, right? He at least didn’t hate me for it.”

“Synn,” Asta grabbed Synn’s chin and brought her face back up to look at her, “I highly doubt that you are overthinking it, I’ve been saying it for years and I’ll say it again; that boy is in love with you. There’s no mistaking it. Just ask him, I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

“Maybe,” Synn conceded, smiling shyly, “I’ll think about it.”

“Good, this snail’s pace you two are moving at has me feeling antsy.” Asta put her hands on her hips, “Now get going before it gets too late and I keep you here to bug you about your crush all night long.”

Synn, needing no more motivation, quickly took off, walking with haste towards the palace staff quarters.

“See you soon!” Asta called after her, before returning to her home, itching to go upstairs and tell her wife-to-be all the interesting new developments in her cousin’s love life.

A few days after Asta’s announcement, Synn was working on her own in a smaller part of the garden. It had become one of her favourite areas to work as it allowed her some privacy and space to think all on her own. She was surrounded by people all day, and it could be hard to hear her own thoughts. In her solitude, everything seemed much clearer. It also helped that it would allow Loki to visit her, undisturbed by prying eyes and whispers of gossip among the other palace staff. Loki never seemed to pay much mind to it, but it made Synn uncomfortable, the idea that people were judging her and her friendship with Loki put her on edge.

He had recently come back from a trip off-world. A settlement on Vanaheim had been invaded and required Asgardian help to fend off the intruders. Synn worried about him every time he left, even though she knew he was a more than capable fighter, he was still in danger. Every time he came home she had to hold herself back from rushing to the rainbow bridge to make sure he was still in one piece. As most warriors did, he got hurt from time to time, but he was never in dire circumstances like some of the soldiers she had seen coming back with them.

Synn glanced to her side as she pruned a rather prickly bush of roses, to look at Loki leaned up against the trunk of a tree, his leg crossed over the other, his hands resting behind his head as he stared off into the distance. He looked lost in thought, what he was thinking of, Synn had no idea. Sometimes she found his expression easy to read, whereas other times he seemed to be off in a world all his own.

Synn put down her sheers and turned to face him.

“Loki?” She asked, looking at him curiously.

“Yes?” He responded, eyes returning to their usual sharpness and changing his sitting position so he was facing her.

“I went to visit Asta this weekend and she had an announcement. She and Frida are getting married!” Synn exclaimed enthusiastically.

“That’s wonderful, please give them my congratulations.” Loki smiled softly at her.

“I will,” Synn felt her nervousness start to rise, “And she also asked me to be her maid of honour. We were working on their wedding plans most of the day.”

Loki’s face darkened slightly, the guarded look Synn had seen him use only a few times before with her appearing. Synn didn’t know what to say, she had no idea why he would react that way.

“Who have you asked to go with you then?” Loki asked, pretending to be uninterested and fiddling with the grass at his side. He was clearly upset and doing a poor job of hiding it.

Was he upset because he thought she was going with someone else? Synn felt her heart flutter at the idea, giving her courage to do as her cousin had suggested.

“No one yet.” Synn tried to act as though she hadn’t noticed his mood shift. Loki looked up at her, suddenly intrigued, his guard falling.

“Oh?” He prompted when she did not continue.

“Yes, but the guy I was going to ask seems to be in a sour mood right now so I guess I’m going to have to wait.” Synn picked up her sheers again, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She waited as the gears turned in Loki’s head and he came to the realization of what she meant.

“You were going to ask me?” He asked tentatively. She looked back at him, sassily putting her hands on her hips, garden sheers still gripped in her hand.

“Who else would I ask Loki? You’re my best friend.” She pointed the sheers at him playfully.

“Ah, I see, well I’m not in a ‘sour mood’ now, as you put it, if you wanted to ask.” Loki pushed the sheers carefully away from his chest.

“Would you like to accompany me to my sister’s wedding?” Synn asked.

“I would love to,” Loki responded. They smiled at each other, Synn surprised that she hadn’t embarrassed herself horribly or made a mess of their already confusing relationship.

“As friends?” Loki clarified.

“Oh, um, yes, of course. As friends, just friends, like always.” Synn rambled, unable to stop herself. So much for not embarrassing herself. Loki eyed her suspiciously and she quickly looked away, her wild curls falling to cover her quickly reddening face. Why is it that he never failed to make her blush?

“Right, though I think having a prince of Asgard at Asta’s wedding may attract some unwanted attention for her.” Loki pointed out.

“Oh.” Synn deflated. After all that, Loki wouldn’t be able to come with her after all. If Loki were to show up at Asta’s wedding then all the attention would be on him, which wouldn’t be fair to the brides.

Seeing the crestfallen look on his friend, Loki quickly tried to fix the situation.

“I am, however, very good at illusion magic, I’m sure I can figure something out. I may not look like the person you are used to, but it will still be me going with you.” Loki had a gleeful glint in his eye. Synn lit up, a smile blooming once more on her face.

“That’s perfect!” She exclaimed. “Thank you, Loki.”

Synn dropped her sheers and pulled Loki in for a tight hug, leaning forward on her knees to hold onto him. Loki hugged her back, resting his head on her shoulder.

“I’m looking forward to it.” He said.

The month passed quickly, Synn was busy with her gardening, but was also quite preoccupied with her work on Asta’s wedding. There were many traditions to follow, invitations to be sent, and food to plan. Synn worked closely with Helka to make the plans perfect for the brides-to-be.
The day of the wedding arrived faster than Synn could imagine. She had scrambled with some last-minute plans but was pleased that everything had come together. She had many duties leading up to the wedding and had made plans to meet Loki at the entrance to the venue. She would be apart from him for most of the ceremony, and she felt a little guilty for leaving him at the mercy of Asta’s friends and family, but there wasn’t much else she could do.

Synn had spent most of the morning braiding Asta’s hair and getting her fit in her wedding gown. Synn buzzed anxiously around Asta, making sure everything was perfectly in place before Asta shooed her away.

“Everything is fine Synn, and all this buzzing about is making me anxious. Go get dressed, meet Loki, and then come back.” Asta gently shoved her cousin. Synn smiled apologetically and went to gather her dress and change.

The dress itself was a beautiful dark blue that shone when the sun hit it. It hugged her body at the top before flowing down towards the floor, accentuating her chest and hips. She had braided the strands of her hair that fell by her face and pulled the top layer up into a bun. She checked herself in the mirror, did a small twirl, feeling a childish sense of glee as the skirt fanned out in a large circle around her. She made a few small adjustments to her hair and makeup and once she was satisfied with how she looked she went out to find Loki.

Synn stood at the entrance to the venue, guests starting to trickle in and take their seats. She scanned the crowd, not seeing any sign of Loki. She was sure he would come but was starting to get nervous as it neared the time to find Asta once more. He had said that he would appear in a form he wasn’t well known in, but he had not specified exactly what that would be.

“Synn?” Asked an unfamiliar voice from beside her. She hadn’t noticed the person get close, and turned to greet them. She took in their appearance, her breath leaving her body as she looked into their soft light blue eyes. The woman was stunning, long dark hair straightened down their back, revealing her sharp features and accented makeup. She was wearing a dark green dress that fit tightly against her body, showing off all of her curves. She seemed oddly familiar, the cocky stance and glint in their eyes sparking recognition in Synn. It took her a few seconds of awkward gaping before she realized who the woman was; she was Loki.

“Loki?” Synn asked incredulously.

“I look good, don’t I?” Loki chuckled, her voice smooth, making Synn’s heart rate pick up.

“You look beautiful.” Synn gushed before she could stop herself. She’d just called Loki beautiful. Sure they were beautiful no matter if they were a girl or a boy, but complimenting her crush of a few hundred years in such an overly eagre way made her want to sink into the ground.

“You as well, Synn.” Loki was calm and collected, as they always seemed to be. It helped to ease Synn’s nerves, this was Loki she was thinking about, when had they ever made her feel uncomfortable for her inability to filter her thoughts?

“Thank you, Loki,” Synn tried hard not to let her blush spread from her ears, “I do have to run to meet Asta again, but I can show you to your seat.”

Loki wrapped her arm around Synn’s, walking with her to her spot. Synn promised she would be back with her soon and departed, speed walking to where her cousin was waiting. She couldn’t get the image of Loki out of her head as the ceremony went on, trying to not let herself get too distracted as she played her role.

The ceremony itself was wonderful, Frida and Asta’s love for each other shining through as they said their vows. They both looked stunning in their white dresses, the flowy material fluttering magically in the light breeze.

Synn would take small glances back at Loki, unable to stop herself. She’d never seen them like this before and had been startled by the way she was making her feel. Loki was always beautiful, in Synn’s opinion, but seeing Loki in this new way was bringing up feelings she wasn’t aware she had.

Loki met her gaze a few times, a small smile on her lips as Synn quickly looked away, pretending like she hadn’t just been caught staring at her best friend.

Once the ceremony was over, the toasts began and the guests moved to tables that had been set up beside the ceremony venue. Synn was sat at the largest table with the brides, a round table at the front. She was sat beside Loki, thankful she wouldn’t be ditching her guest for any more of the wedding.

Synn introduced Loki to the others at the table, if Asta or Frida were surprised by Loki’s appearance they didn’t say anything. They welcomed Loki, exchanging pleasantries as everyone got comfortable. Her aunt and uncle were also at the table, along with Frida’s parents. They were beyond excited to finally meet Synn’s friend, fawning over her in a way that only proceeded to further embarrass Synn. She mouthed an apology at Loki, but upon looking at her face, she realized that Loki was actually loving the attention. Synn should have seen that one coming, but relaxed in her chair, making small talk with Frida’s parents.

The toasts started and since Synn was Asta’s maid of honour she was one of the first to give a speech. She had rehearsed it constantly over the past month, worried about messing up and ruining Asta’s big day. She kept it short and sweet, making it easier to remember.

“Having grown up living in the same room as Asta,” Synn started, proud that she was able to keep her voice from wavering, “I know how much of a handful she can be. I’ll never know how Frida has the patience to put up with her snoring without hitting her in the face with a pillow, as I did on many occasions.”

Synn heard the crowd laugh and watched as Asta gave her a dirty, yet loving, look, encouraging her to continue.

“However much of a pain she was to share a room with, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything else. Asta is the kindest, strongest, most reliable friend I could have ever asked for. I know how much she loves Frida, I’ve been teasing her about it since they were kids, and I can say with the utmost certainty that they are perfect for each other. I cannot wait to see as your love flourishes and I wish you both the best,” Synn lifted her glass, the rest of the guests following suit, “to Asta and Frida!”

Glasses clinked and drinks were downed as people clapped politely. Synn sat down, Asta pulling her in for a tight hug.

“I love you,” Asta whispered in her ear.

“I love you more,” Synn whispered back.

Once the rest of the toasts were done, it was time for dancing. The first dance was shared between the brides, everyone watching as they held each other tight, swaying to the light tune of the music.

“How much did you practice your speech?” Loki gave Synn a knowing look.

“How many times do you think?” Synn playfully shoved Loki, eliciting a small laugh out of her.

“It was lovely, Asta is lucky to have you.” Loki leaned in, speaking quietly to Synn so as not to disturb the dance. Her breath on Synn’s neck made her skin tingle and she had to stop herself from jumping away in surprise.

“Thank you,” Synn mumbled, trying her best to ignore how close they were. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been close before, but Synn had asked Loki here as her date. Even though they were going as friends the setting was filled with romance and was making Synn feel nervous. It was much different than hugging them before they left for a mission or sitting together in the palace gardens. Love was in the air and Synn was having a hard time not focusing on her feelings for Loki.

Once the first dance ended and the music started to pick up, it was time for the rest of the guests to join. Loki stood up, offering Synn her hand, a sly smile on her face.

“Care to dance?” She asked, helping Synn to her feet.

“If you show me how.” Synn had two left feet, and while she had danced informally, she had no rhythm and no knowledge of how to properly dance. She was sure Loki did, as a part of their royal training, making Loki the one in the lead.

The two got up, joining the crowd as they started to dance. Synn kept hold of Loki’s hand as they walked, turning to face her partner when they were on the dance floor.

“Follow my lead,” Loki said, placing Synn’s arm around her neck and her hands on Synn’s waist. Synn did her best to follow Loki’s movements as they twirled around the dance floor with the other guests, only stepping on her feet a few times. She shot Loki an apologetic smile when she messed up, but to Loki’s grace, she never batted an eye.

The night got late before Synn even noticed, too caught up in their fluid movements to notice that lanterns had been lit and the stars were lining the night sky. They had paused a few times, taking advantage of the drinks offered to them and mingling with Synn’s family, but they had spent much of the evening wrapped in each other’s arms.

By the end of the night, many guests had left, leaving only a handful behind. The dance floor was sparse, Asta and Frida had left not long ago, planning to spend some time alone. Her aunt and uncle were gone as well, and Synn found she barely recognized any of the people left. She didn’t much care, the only person she had needed there was Loki. The music had slowed, leaving them swaying together, their bodies pressed closely together, Synn’s head resting on Loki’s shoulder. Loki was warm beneath her touch, Synn barely restraining herself from nuzzling into her neck. The few drinks she had had, had gotten the better of her, lowering her inhibitions.

Loki was surprisingly put together for how many drinks she had, humming along to the music, only loud enough for them both to hear. Synn felt her eyes close as she let her exhaustion wave over her. It had been a busy day, filled with all sorts of excitement and alcohol.

Synn stumbled, Loki catching her before she could get far.

“Maybe we should retire for the night.” Loki chuckled, holding Synn up by her arms.

“But this is so nice.” Synn pouted, giving Loki her best pleading look.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Loki steered Synn away from the music, Synn was too tired to fight it and the idea of falling into her bed had a nice ring to it. She was reluctant to let go of Loki, their closeness had been so comforting. She was pleased when Loki kept their hands together as they walked in silence back towards the palace. It took longer than it normally would have, Synn slowing the pace down so the night wouldn’t have to end. Loki shook her head at Synn’s antics but would admit that she too did not want to leave her friend.

Loki walked Synn back to her room, feeling more comfortable now that no one recognized her. Only a few people had seen Loki as this version of themself, and Loki was happy for Synn to be one of them. They stopped outside Synn’s room, Synn looking up at Loki with a wistful look on her face.

“Thank you for coming, I had a lot of fun.” Synn leaned against the wall behind her, no longer having the energy to stand.
“It was my pleasure,” Loki said, feeling emboldened by the alcohol in her stomach, continued, “I quite enjoyed seeing you in that dress.”

Loki’s tone was low and intimate making Synn’s breath catch, unable to do anything but blush.

“Goodnight, Synn.” Loki leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she had done to them only a week prior. Synn’s cheek was warm and soft under her lips, Loki lingering there for a few seconds before pulling back. Synn looked at her, her mouth parted in surprise. Loki smiled at her, the kindness reaching her eyes, before turning to leave.

It wasn’t until Loki had turned the corner, the lack of her touch shaking Synn out of her stupor. She touched her cheek, feeling the spot where Loki had touched her only moments before.

“I love you,” Synn whispered, knowing that Loki couldn’t hear her, but needing to get it out all the same. How much longer could she wait without telling them how she felt? The more time they spent together, the more she thought that maybe Loki felt the same way. Yet she was so scared to lose them that she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit her feelings.

She fell asleep that night, the feeling of Loki’s arms wrapped around her waist, her lips on her cheek, following her and covering her dreams like a cozy blanket.

Notes:

I thought Gender-fluid Loki was important to add to this story, I felt like we really didn't get any representation of them in the Loki show and I wanted to make sure that I included that here. Synn loves Loki no matter what they look like (though maybe not romantically if he was alligator Loki lol)

Chapter 10

Summary:

Asta receives a visitor and Synn receives a note

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Asta opened her door late at night, only a week after her wedding, she wasn’t sure who she would find knocking. She had a few ideas, Synn coming by after a nightmare or the neighbours needing help looking after a sick child. The last person she had expected to see was Thor, the God of Thunder and Prince of Asgard, standing on her doorstep, a large hooded cape covering his figure. Yet there he was, stood on her front step like it was any regular old day. She stood there, frozen in shock, before Thor cleared his throat and spoke again, having already made his introduction on Asta’s dead ears.

“Are you alright?” He asked, concern clear in his voice.

“Yes, of course, sorry. Would you like to come in? I can put some tea on.” Asta spluttered, stepping aside to let him in, holding back a laugh when his shoulders barely fit through their doorway.

“That would be most appreciated.” Thor was oblivious to her mirth, more than used to not fitting through doorways. He’d never understand why the common folk of Asgard built such tiny entrances.

Frida had been as surprised as Asta, completely unsure how to act with a Prince suddenly in their home. She quickly prepared tea and brought him some bread that had been baked fresh that day. Thor thanked them for their hospitality and revealed the reason why he was there. He had a plan, one involving Synn and Loki, but he required help. If only he was involved, Loki would smell his influence from a mile away. He needed Asta’s familiarity with Synn to pull it off.

Asta instantly agreed, excited to be a part of a plan to finally get the two to admit their feelings for each other, and quickly set into motion what was needed. A quick note, written to look as similar to Synn’s messy handwriting as possible, adding some spelling mistakes for authenticity, and adding the baking of Synn’s favourite loaf of bread to her list of things to do for the next day.

Asta wrote another note, copying Loki’s handwriting from a sample Thor had brought with him. It wasn’t perfect but Asta was sure it would be good enough to fool Synn. Asta was rather impressed with Thor’s idea, it was simple yet she had no doubt it would be effective.

Thor told Asta he would be back in two days to collect the food, and with an excited gleam in his eye, he left as quickly as he had arrived.

Asta and Frida shared a look, had Prince Thor really just been in their kitchen, eating their bread and drinking their tea? Not only that but he had talked about setting up Asta’s little cousin with his brother, the second Prince of Asgard.

It was late, the women decided that the reality of what had just happened could wait for tomorrow. Though as Asta fell asleep, a warmness filled her heart. She was beyond happy that her cousin had other people in her corner, also able to see how strong her connection to Loki was. She hoped the plan would work out, if anyone deserved happiness it was Synn, and she was overdue.

XXX

‘MEET ME AT THE CLIFF OVERLOOKING VIGRID BAY TONIGHT AT SUNSET’
YOURS,
LOKI’

Read the note that had been left on Synn’s pillow. She flipped it over, examining it. She’d never received a note from Loki before. Normally he would come down himself to invite her to go somewhere with him, usually a walk through the palace grounds, or occasionally he would send someone along to verbally relay a message.

She quickly re-read the note, the ‘yours’ sending a small shiver down her spine. The location Loki had chosen was not far from the palace. Synn had accidentally stumbled upon it when exploring the area one day, it was small and secluded, the waves below providing white noise to cover up the hustle and bustle of the nearby residents. They had never gone there together, it was frequented by locals enjoying the scenery and did not often offer much privacy, but Synn was happy to go anywhere that Loki wanted as long as she was with him.

Looking out her window, Synn saw she did not have much time before sunset. She was lucky that that day had involved no digging in the dirt, Gyda had decided last minute for Synn to help her plan the changes to the garden for the upcoming season instead of her usual hands-on work.

She quickly braided her unruly hair back into two braids on each side of her part, the braided section standing up on top of her head, running down her back to her shoulder blades. She quickly got out of her work clothes, being the designated gold colour that all palace staff must wear, and threw on a light blue dress that hung nicely off her frame.

“Going somewhere?” Idun smirked at Synn.

“I’ll be back later.” Synn rolled her eyes in amusement.

“Sure you will,” Idun called after her as she left, making kissy noises that made Synn’s face feel warm, the sound of the other girls’ laughter filling the air.

Synn kept walking, butterflies flitting about in her stomach, nervous but excited to see what Loki had planned.

Little did Synn know that on the other side of the palace, Loki had just walked into his chambers to find a similar note from Synn, one written in the perfect imitation of her handwriting. Surprised as to how Synn managed to get a note into his room unseen, he quickly fixed his hair, straightened his clothes, and departed, feeling the same mixture of emotions as Synn.

The short walk to the cliff was uneventful, Synn walking peacefully along a small path. It had taken her less time than anticipated and she arrived earlier than expected. The forest leading up to the cliff offered cover from prying eyes, ones that often liked to watch the two friends as they strolled along the castle grounds, whispering rumours amongst themselves. Synn much preferred when it was just the two of them, knowing how much more relaxed and himself Loki could be when he wasn’t being held to royal standards.

There was a small opening where the trees dispersed as the cliff came to a sheer drop. The view was spectacular, particularly as the sun started to set in the sky, casting an orange and pink glow across the water. From the vantage point, she could see a few small coastal towns, the water lapping at the shore as the tiny forms of children ran in and out of the waves. On grass laid a large blanket with a small wooden basket in the center, reminiscent of Loki’s basket on their trip to the hidden pool. Memories of that day came rushing back, making Synn’s anxiety spike momentarily. Loki’s skin pressed up against hers, their breaths mingling as they hovered only a few inches from each other, the thoughts were making her head spin and she had to sit down. She sat on the blanket, her legs dangling off the edge of the cliffside, idly wondered what would have happened should she have had enough courage and closed that gap between them.

Synn had become distracted by her thoughts and did not notice as Loki strode up to the blanket, standing directly behind her.

“Careful, that’s a long drop down.” Loki greeted. Synn jumped in surprise, whirling around, wide-eyed to find the familiar face of her best friend.

“Oh, Loki, you startled me, I didn’t hear you walk up.” She said, putting a hand to her chest to slow her beating heart. Loki chuckled, sitting down beside her.

“Lost in thought?” He inquired. It wouldn’t have been the first time he had caught her so deeply entrenched in her own mind she failed to see or hear anything going on around her. Synn, remembering what she had been thinking about and held back a blush, refusing to give in to her body’s usual reaction.

“Yes, you know me, sometimes I can’t help but disappear in my own head.” Synn shrugged.

“Must be fascinating, anything you want to share?” Loki asked.

“I was just thinking about our trip to the hidden pool,” Synn answered truthfully, though not the whole truth, “There were so many beautiful flowers there, we should go back some time, I’d love to gather some for Gyda.”

Though that wasn’t what she had been thinking about, that was all she was willing to tell him at the moment.

“That would be lovely, though I see you’ve brought the food this time.” Loki gestured to the basket. Synn frowned at him, had he not brought it? Though come to think of it, Loki had arrived after her and the blanket and basket had already been there. Had they stolen someone else’s spot?

“I thought you brought that,” Synn said, confusion written on her face. Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

“You got here first.” He pointed out, and although Synn had already considered that, it left her with more questions than before.

“I thought maybe you had set up earlier in the day and then left.” Synn looked around at their surroundings, trying to find a hint that someone else had been there, but found nothing. The two starred at each other in confusion.

“Did you not leave a note in my room asking for me to meet you here?” Synn asked, pulling the note out from where she had shoved it in her pocket. Loki took the note and examined it.

“This is not my handwriting, close, but I did not write this.” He said, before pulling a note out of his pocket and passing it to Synn, “I thought you had asked me to meet you here.”

Looking at the note Synn was surprised to see how similar it was to her handwriting, messy and curvy, even complete with a spelling mistake.

“I have to admit, this was good forgery. Only one person knows me well enough to do it this well.” Synn dropped the note beside her and got up to kneel beside the basket and open the lid. She picked out the familiar loaf of bread sitting inside beside the cheese and wine. It was her favourite sweet and salty loaf, made with a secret recipe passed down through her family.

“Asta.” She concluded, setting the bread back in the basket.

“That doesn’t explain how the notes got into our rooms, she isn’t palace staff or a guest if she isn’t with you, no guards would have allowed her to get that close to your room, let alone mine.” Loki pointed, before realization dawned on his face, rubbing at his face in exasperation, “Of course Thor had something to do with this, it has his unimaginative sense of scheming all over it.”

“I would have loved to see those two interact for the first time, I can only imagine how flabbergasted Asta would be.” Synn laughed. Loki looked back at her, a small smile on his lips.

“Yes, I agree that would have been rather amusing. Though I’m still not sure what they meant by all this.” Loki gestured to the blanket and basket, a pondering look on his face. Synn looked away quickly, thinking of the conversation she had had with Asta the day she had been asked to be her maid of honour. So much for not pushing her. If this went badly, Asta would never hear the end of it.

“Well, we can ask them next time we see them, but for now we may as well enjoy the food they’ve left,” Synn said, reaching back into the basket to pull out what was inside.

“It does look rather good, is that your favourite loaf of bread?” Loki asked. She’d brought it for him before, insisting that he try it, and she was maybe a little too pleased that he recognized it.

Synn nodded, cutting off a piece for both of them and adding some cheese on top of hers, while Loki poured the wine.

“I believe this is one of Thor’s favourites.” Loki held up a glass for Synn. Synn took the glass and gave it a small sniff.

“It certainly smells like the mead he used to clean my forehead, he must have a similar taste in wine.” She chuckled.

“Of course it does.” Loki rolled his eyes unable to keep a small smile off his face.

They spent time eating and talking together. Synn excitedly filled Loki in on the plans for next season's garden and Loki talked about his progress with magic. It reminded Synn of simpler times, when it was just the two of them, no real responsibilities, meeting every week at Synn’s little garden. So much had changed since then, yet so little as well. It was still the two of them, best friends as always, talking to each other about their passions.

They watched as the sun went down, casting a beautiful glow over their spot. It was not lost on Synn how romantic watching the sunset was considered to be, but she would push that thought to the side, for now, simply enjoying being with Loki. If she thought too much about it she was going to gush her thoughts and give herself away. She hated how she always seemed to freeze up whenever these perfect opportunities presented themselves, but she couldn’t help it, her anxiety got the best of her.

The last sliver of the sun disappeared over the edge of the horizon, casting Asgard into a dim light. The stars had started to appear overhead, many familiar constellations lining up. Synn was not ready to leave, she had been enjoying the evening so much, but they both had early mornings the next day.

“Should we start heading back?” Synn asked reluctantly.

“We have a bit more time.” Loki moved back on the blanket so his feet were no longer hanging over the edge, “Why don’t we watch the stars for a while like we did the second time we met.”

Loki patted the spot beside him on the blanket. Synn smiled at him, moving the basket and the remnants of their food to the side. They laid down, looking up as the sky darkened and turned to night.

“I loved those stories you told me that night, I kept replaying them to myself when I would look up at the stars before bed,” Synn admitted.

“I’m happy you enjoyed them so much, I was trying to show off.” Loki let out a pleased hum.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever stopped trying to show off.” Synn teased, nudging him with her elbow.

“You’ve always been so eager to see my magic and hear my stories, how could I say no to such an honest request.” Loki teased back.

“I could see how much you enjoyed my attention, even when we were kids, I don’t ask only for myself.” She said softly, she was not passing judgement, she was simply pointing out how much they both needed each other’s encouragement.

“I suppose you’re right. You were the only other child who looked at me like I was a real person.” Loki said, a similar softness filling his voice.

“That’s because you were just another kid and one who actually was interested in me too.” Synn smiled to herself.

“I have been lucky to have you here all these years, they really would have been dreadfully boring without you.” Loki chuckled.

“Who else would have listened to you for hours at a time?” Synn asked, laughing with him. Loki turned his head to look at her, feeling warmth blossom in his chest. The moonlight shone against her light blonde hair, radiating a soft glow around her. The stars sparkled, reflected in her eyes as her laughter filled the air. Loki found he had no more desire to stare at the night sky, he only wished to keep watching the beautiful woman beside him.

Synn’s laughter petered off, leaving them in silence. As Synn watched the stars, putting formations to stories she had almost forgotten, she felt a warm hand slide into hers. Her breath caught in her throat, the smoothness of his hands familiar to her, yet foreign nonetheless. She had only held his hands a handful of times before, mostly only when either of them was upset and needed comfort, but also in the hidden pool as they swam, and at Asta’s wedding as they danced.

She felt the butterflies return to her stomach, wishing she could stop her nervous feelings. She was over seven hundred years old, surely she should not feel this way over something as simple as hand-holding.

Yet, as Loki’s thumb ran idly over the back of her hand, a shiver to run down her spine, Synn trying very hard to suppress her movement. She felt Loki shift on the blanket, still holding her hand in his. She looked over at him to find he had gotten closer, laying on his stomach, propped up against his elbows, with her hand tucked tightly in his underneath his chest.

Synn looked into his eyes, blushing as she saw the earnest expression on his face, his mouth slightly parted as he stared at her like she had hung the moon. She felt her cheeks and ears go red, cursing herself for her obvious reaction to his intimate proximity.

“Synn, I…” Loki trailed off, moving closer so he was leaning his face over hers. She looked into his honest blue eyes, filled with unspoken emotion, her breath shallow as she waited in anticipation for what he was trying to say.

Loki shook his head, words failing to come out as they usually so easily did. He was known for his ability to charm, but with Synn, his feelings ran too deep for him to be able to express.

He let go of her hand, reaching out to caress her cheek as he had only a few weeks before, gently tracing her cheekbone and feeling the heat beneath his fingertips. Synn held his hand on her cheek, pressing her face into it, her eyes shining with her love for the man above her. If it had not been clear to her before, it was clear now. The way he was looking at her, the urgency and need evident on his face sealing any final doubts that she had.

“I know, Loki, I feel the same way.” She assured, unable to express her love, so caught up in the feeling of his hand on her face and the closeness of their bodies that she too could not express her feelings.

Emboldened by the wine in his belly and the reassurance from Synn of his unspoken words, Loki closed the small distance between them, his lips pressing gently but urgently into hers and bringing his other hand up to cradle her neck.

The kiss was like nothing Synn had ever experienced before. So many centuries of pent-up emotions, of hidden feelings, let out in one small act. One small act that would have the biggest impact on their lives. Synn would have it no other way.

His lips were soft, almost silken against her own and she could taste the wine on his tongue and feel his breath mix with hers as they continued their embrace. Synn reached up, tangling her hands in his hair, wanting to keep him close to her, never wanting their passionate moment to end. It was the culmination of all her hidden anxieties and feelings that she could no longer hide. As she moved her mouth against his, she felt like a piece of herself that had been missing had finally slotted itself into place.

As the heat died down, and the frenzied need to hold on to one another subsided, Loki reluctantly pulled away, needing time to take a deep breath of air, Synn let go of her hold on his hair, making a small noise of protest. Their eyes met each other, Synn feeling Loki’s warm breath on her lips, his eyes half-lidded, and his pupils wide. Synn imagined she looked similar, her lips tingling with the sudden lack of sensation.

The silence was deafening as they lay there, neither finding the words they wished they could say. Synn reached up once more, this time her hand shaking as she gently smoothed down the hair that she had messed up.

“I know I’ve said it before, but I want to say it again, and this time with a deeper meaning.” Synn whispered, not having the strength to say it too loud, “I love you, Loki. I’ve loved you with all of my heart for as long as I can remember. You mean everything to me, and I wouldn’t change a second of our time together.”

“I love you too, Synn. I cannot remember how many times I wished I could tell you but found myself too afraid to lose you.” Loki said, his eyes cast down.

“I don’t think you could lose me even if you tried.” Synn beamed up at the man she loved. It was like a weight had been removed from her shoulders, all the years of waiting, holding onto any sign of Loki returning her feelings had ended in this, being held in his arms as they lay under the moonlight. It was perfect.

“Not even if I smashed your entire garden?” Loki asked playfully. Synn made an exaggerated gasp, a grin creeping up on her face. She quickly used all of her body weight and grabbed his hips between her knees to catch Loki off guard, rolling them so that they had switched positions and she was straddling him. She put her hand on his chest and gave him her best intimidating glare.

“I may still love you, but you would not live to see another day if you so much as think about ruining all my hard work.” She stated, unable to stop herself from smiling. Loki laughed, putting his hand up in a show of innocence.

“I promise no such thoughts have crossed my mind.” He said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Good.” Synn nodded. “Or I may never kiss you again.”

“I don’t think you mean that.” Loki put his hands gently on her waist, pulling her closer. Their faces were inches apart, her chest resting on his.

“You’re right. I don’t.” Synn whispered, taking the opportunity to renew their kiss. The urgency of their first kiss was no longer there, but the tenderness and passion were not lost on either of them. They stayed there, content in each other’s embrace, unable to tell what time it was, and neither caring. They had each other, finally able to be open about their strong love, and nothing would stop them from enjoying the time they had.

It wasn’t until the sky started to lighten and the birds began to chirp as they lay on the blanket, cuddled together, that they realized they had to be getting back. Reluctantly, they packed up the blanket and basket, walking hand in hand down the path towards the palace. Synn could hardly believe what had just happened, exhaustion setting in and confusing her mind. She shared a glance with Loki before exiting the path, one filled with love and desire, the feelings swirling between them before they let go of each other’s hands. Synn was not afraid for people to know how she felt about Loki, many of the people already had at least some idea. However, she wanted their privacy to last for a little longer, they had yet to even define what their new relationship would entail. She was also unsure of how it would be taken for a prince to be seen with a commoner, that was something she would have to speak with Loki about.

They walked in companionable silence back to the palace, only a few guards milling around. If any of them thought their entrance was suspicious, they said nothing, barely acknowledging their presence.

They stopped at the spot where their paths differed, Synn heading to her room and Loki to his. It was the same spot where not so long ago she had given him a quick kiss on the cheek before promptly running away.

“I had a wonderful time, Loki.” Synn looked around to make sure they were alone.

“I as well.” Loki leaned down to press a light kiss to her lips.

“I’ll see you again soon?” Synn asked, hope in her voice.

“As soon as I can I will come to see you, nothing will keep me away for long,” Loki promised, running his hand along her cheek. With one last loving look, they parted ways, heading to try to get a few minutes of sleep before they were required to be up.

Synn clutched her arms tightly against her chest, her smile threatening to stretch too wide for her face. She could still taste Loki on her lips, and feel the pressure of his chest on hers. As she fell into a short sleep, she could not help but wonder about the new and exciting places their relationship would go. She loved him more than she could express, but nothing was going to stop her from trying.

Notes:

YAY!! They finally kissed :)
The next chapter will be a little shorter than usual so hopefully, I'll have it out soon!

Chapter 11

Summary:

Synn and Loki talk

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Synn had not been pleased when the morning bells had gone off, grumpily turning in her bed, stuffing her pillow over her ears. She’d only gotten a few hours of sleep and she had never been the kind of person who did well on little sleep. Idun was the opposite, she always seemed to be full of energy, even when she snuck in at ungodly hours of the morning. Plus, today Synn would be back working in the gardens, doing hard labour.

She stumbled out of bed, getting a few amused glances from her roommates as she shuffled to the bathroom to clean herself up. She looked in the mirror, her eyes bloodshot and the bags under her eyes had darkened. She splashed some water on her face, fixing her hair back into braids, and brushed her teeth.

“Good enough.” She grumbled before exiting the bathroom.

“Late night, huh?” Idun, teased.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Synn shot back, a secretive smile on her face, quickly leaving the room before any more inquiries could be made. She knew that Idun had likely heard her come in earlier that morning, and while she was bursting to tell her friend the good news, she wanted to talk to Loki first. They needed to lay down the boundaries and define what they were before she felt ready to tell anyone, except maybe Asta. She had a compulsive need to tell Asta everything and she doubted she could keep her joy to herself for much longer.

On her way to the gardens, Synn replayed the events of the night before. She still felt high on the admissions that they had made to each other and the tender kisses they had shared. It had been more than she had hoped for, and she wished for it to happen again soon.

Gyda was waiting for her when she arrived. It took Synn one look at the smugness on Gyda’s face to know she too had played a part in setting her up with Loki. Gyda had been the one to switch up her work duties last minute, allowing her a sweat-less and dirt-less day, perfectly ready to go on a date with a certain Prince of Asgard.

“You were involved as well, Gyda?” Synn laughed, barely able to believe it.

“I don’t know what you’re accusing me of, but I think you’d better get started on your work, those berry bushes aren’t going to tend to themselves.” The older woman chided, an amused smile on her face. Gyda may never admit it, but Synn would be forever thankful for her. While Gyda had a strict exterior, on the inside she was just as soft as Synn’s Aunt Astrid.

Synn did as asked, heading over to trim and water the berry bushes. So far she was aware of three people being involved in this scheme, she could only wonder if there were any more, and whose idea it was to put them together in the first place. Surely it had to be Asta, but then how would she had gotten a hold of Gyda or Thor without Synn’s help? She would be stopping by Asta’s house to get answers as soon as possible.

Synn worked hard all morning, sweating in the hot sun. By noon she had taken a break in the shade, trying her best not to overheat when she saw a familiar figure making his way over to her. She had no energy to be embarrassed about her dishevelled state, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen her like this hundreds of times before. Synn saw Gyda watch Loki enter the garden, rolling her eyes in amusement at him before returning to her work.

“Good morning, Synn.” Loki greeted, smiling down at her slumped form.

“How do you always look so put together, you had the same amount of sleep as I did?” She asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

“I haven’t spent my mornings gardening in this brutal heat.” Loki pointed out. “Besides, I think you look as beautiful as ever.” He added with a whisper.

“Always the charmer.” Synn chuckled, blushing as she looked away from his intense eye contact. Loki puffed out his chest, taking the compliment.

“I don’t have long, I’m being sent away for a night on a mission for Vanaheim, surely to be exceedingly boring, but I will be back tomorrow. Will you meet me at your old garden in the evening?” Loki asked.

“Of course, but be careful, I want to see you in one piece.” Synn teased.

“I’m always careful.” Loki retorted. Synn gave him a look that said she deeply disagreed but did not speak up. Loki stood there for a moment, hesitating before speaking up.

“I love you.” He whispered an almost shy expression on his face. Synn was barely able to hear him but she smiled widely.

“I love you too.” She whispered back.

Synn continued her hard work after Loki left, trying to ignore the amused looks Gyda was throwing her way. When she finally made it back to her bed that evening, she didn’t bother washing. That would have to wait until she had her day off tomorrow. It didn’t take long for her to drift off, sweet thoughts of Loki filling her head, his smile, the loving way he looked at her and her burning desire to kiss him once more.

Synn cleaned herself up the next day, feeling well-rested and ready to visit with Asta. Asta would know right away, Synn had never been able to hide her feelings from her cousin. Asta could always read her like a book. She was excited to tell her cousin, not wanting to keep her feelings contained any longer. She still wanted to keep what had happened a relative secret, but she also needed to talk to someone. Asta was the perfect person to do that with.

Synn arrived at her cousin’s house, taking a deep breath in and out before knocking on her door. Quick footsteps came to the door, Asta had been expecting her. Her cousin opened the door, a mischievous grin on her face, Synn smiled shyly back. Asta grabbed Synn’s hand and yanked her inside, giggling gleefully as she did. Asta sat Synn down on a chair in the kitchen, sitting across the table from her, an expectant look on her face.

“Spill it,” Asta demanded. Synn laughed and did as asked. She told Asta everything, while still scolding her for meddling in her love life. Synn told her how they’d enjoyed the sunset together, had stayed to watch the stars, how Loki had held her hand and given her a look that had banished all her doubts. She gushed about how they’d kissed, years of untold affections pouring out of them, her face turning red as she glanced past some of the more private details, and how they’d both told each other how much they were in love. Asta watched her the whole time, so proud of her younger cousin for finally owning up to her feelings.

“I’m so happy for you,” Asta said, reaching across the table to hold Synn’s hand.

“I guess I partially have you to thank for that,” Synn admitted.

“It was a group effort, and as much as I’d love to take credit for it I’m afraid it was all Prince Thor’s idea,” Asta confessed, thinking back to how only a few nights ago the God of Thunder had been sitting where Synn was.

“I would have loved to see you meet Thor.” Synn laughed.

“He was quite the pleasant house guest, though he did eat a surprising amount of bread,” Asta remarked. Synn had been surprised to hear it was Thor’s idea, and deeply enjoyed the image of him having to maneuver around the small kitchen area. The women continued talking, Asta calling for her wife to join them, boasting of Synn’s recent romantic adventures much to Synn’s embarrassment. As they teased each other, the party of Asgardian warriors were arriving back in their homeland

The soldiers were the first through, quickly followed by the Warriors Three, Lady Sif, Thor and Loki. As they took the long walk back to the palace, Loki drifted behind the group, seemingly lost in thought. Thor had been celebrating their recent victory with his friends when his brother’s lack of interest caught his attention. Loki had never been as boisterous as the rest of them, but his inattentiveness was different this time. Thor lit up as he realized, his brother was not upset as he had first thought, but rather distracted by some other pleasant thought. Thor pulled back from the group, walking in time with his brother. Thor said nothing, looking at his brother with a smug, knowing smile.

“What do you want?” Loki sneered. Thor laughed, clapping his brother on the back, jolting Loki forward.

“Does nothing cheer you up brother? Not even a victory in battle?” Thor asked. Loki rolled his eyes.

“What about the affections of a certain friend of yours? All thanks to a plan of mine I might add.” Thor boasted. Loki turned on his brother, warning flashing in his eyes.

“Say anything more and I shove this into your stomach. Again.” Loki whispered threateningly, holding a dagger in his hand. Thor laughed once more, getting Loki riled up was too easy, and too much fun.

“My lips are sealed, brother.” Thor mimed zipping his mouth shut with his fingers. Loki put his dagger back in its holster.

“But I am proud of you both, you deserve to be happy,” Thor said quietly, leaning in so that only his brother could hear him. Loki pretended to ignore him, Thor clapping him hard on the back once more before rejoining his friends. Loki would never admit it, but he enjoyed Thor’s affections, as overbearing and annoying as they may be. Maybe one day he would thank his brother for his help, but today was not that day. He was too busy thinking of what he should say to Synn when he saw her again and how much he wanted to be close to her.

Synn once again arrived first, having only been a few minutes from their meeting spot after leaving Asta’s house. It had been so long since she had been to her old garden, but she would never forget the path that she would walk to meet with Loki every weekend. The clearing was overgrown with weeds, her garden having disappeared long ago. Some remnants of flowers were scattered around, but none that she recognized as having been the ones she had dutifully grown. She stood by the patch that used to be her garden, no sign of her favourite Moonflowers anywhere. She would have to talk with Gyda about getting some for the Royal Gardens. She looked down at her bracelet, the one Loki had gotten her on her 16th birthday, the engraved moonflower still clear on the band. She wore it almost every day as a reminder of her first garden and the man she loved.

Loki walked up, having come directly from the palace after cleaning off the grime from battle. When Synn saw him approach her she felt suddenly nervous. It was the first time that they had been alone after their admission of love for each other, the tension hanging thickly in the air. She had spent much of the day second-guessing herself and fretting, Asta trying her best to assure her that everything was fine. What if Loki had made a mistake? What if she had misread the situation and he had pitied her, not wanting to make her feel awkward? Asta gave Synn her best glare and quickly wiped away all her worries. Loki had asked to see her again and told her he loved her, surely that meant something. She’d been thinking of what to say to him, how to ask what he would like them to be, but had come to no definitive conclusions.

“I see you’re still in one piece,” Synn said, breaking the silence.

“I always keep my promises,” Loki replied. Feeling more at ease as they both joked with each other as though nothing had changed, Synn moved forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a tight hug. He returned her affections, wrapping his arms around her waist in response. Synn pulled back, a smile shining on her face as she leaned forward, pressing their lips together once more. Relief washed over Synn, any worries that had been building up left as he deepened the kiss, his hands gripping her tightly to him. She didn’t want to let go but she had to sort some things out before they continued. Slowly pulling away, stealing a few more small kisses before breaking apart, Synn stood, still holding onto his neck as she smiled up at him.

“I’ve got a few things I think we should discuss,” Synn stated.

“Yes, I agree. I’ve been thinking of this since I left you yesterday.” Loki said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Synn felt flustered at the thought that Loki had been thinking of her this entire time as she had been thinking of him.

They sat down in the long grass, holding hands as they did so, not wanting to let go of each other quite yet.

“I love you, Loki,” Synn started, butterflies in her stomach, “and I very much want to be with you and all that entails if that is what you want too.”

“That is all I’ve ever wanted.” Loki reached out to gently caress her cheek before dropping his hand back down. “However, I want this to be just ours for a bit longer.”

“I imagine that being publicly together would mean more scrutiny and pressure, you being a prince and all.” Synn agreed, the last thing she wanted was for them to be pulled apart by gossip before they even had a chance to be together.

“Not only that, but I worry that my father will not take too kindly to our relationship. He has not always been the kindest to palace staff, I doubt he would understand why I care for you.” Loki remarked darkly.

“What do you mean? I’ve heard nothing but good things from those who have worked around him.” Synn had not had any experiences with the King herself but had heard from others that they enjoyed serving the king.

Loki shook his head. “He may never harm them, but he truly believes that we are above the common Asgardian people, I fear what he would do should he find out I am with you. He has always dreamed of marrying me off to a prince or princess of some other nation, one that would be politically advantageous.”

“I don’t care what your father thinks of me, no one could stop how I feel about you.” Synn bristled at the idea of Loki with someone else. No one should decide who someone else was to be with, not even a King should have that much power.

“I should have known you wouldn’t care for the opinion of your King.” Loki teased. Synn shrugged, she was not overly fond of the way Odin treated Loki and refused to pay attention to his horrible ideas.

“So then what is our relationship now?” Synn asked tentatively.

“The same as it’s always been, just the two of us able to be ourselves together. But now when I tell you how much I love you, you know that I mean it stronger and deeper than that of simple friendship.” Loki’s face softened as he looked at her, “And we can sneak away and steal moments for just us.”

“I may not be as smooth with my words as you are, but I want you to know I feel the same way for you. I’ve hoped to hear those words from you for so long and I am happy to keep this as our little secret.” Synn leaned forward into his embrace once more. Elated at a more sturdy definition of what they were, Synn pressed herself close to him. She could feel the strength in him, his muscles lean and strong. She thought of their time swimming in the hidden pool, quickly shooing away the image of him standing there in his undergarments before she flustered herself.

“Asta knows. It’s impossible to keep anything from her.” Synn admitted between breathless kisses.

“Unfortunately, I think Thor does as well. However, they were involved in the plan to put us together so there really was no hiding it from them.” Loki added.

“Did you know Gyda was involved as well?” Synn laughed.

“I did not.” Loki thought on it for a moment, “but then she has always been rather fond of you.”

“And you as well.” Synn pointed out, “though I’m sure she would deny that if it were ever brought up.”

“Naturally,” Loki confirmed before pulling Synn back to meet his lips once more.

While they were tempted to stay out as long as they had last time, it would only arise more suspicion if they were to be seen walking in together in the early morning for the second time that week.

Synn also felt content with where they were at. They had not only expressed their feelings but had defined their relationship. While it was still new and exciting, she felt as though they had all the time in the world. Their love was strong and new, their naivety leading them to believe that no one would be able to come between them. As they walked back towards the palace, hand in hand, a hawk flew silently out of the trees above them. Neither noticed the bird as it left, headed in the same direction as them. Synn and Loki headed for their rooms, not knowing what lay ahead, not seeing the watchful eyes of Odin from the palace balcony as he stood, the hawk on his arm and a distasteful frown adorning his face.

Notes:

Sorry that took longer than expected! I hit some writer's block and couldn't figure out what I wanted to add to the chapter but I'm happy with where it's at. The next one needs a lot of work so it may be a similarly long wait but I'll have it out as soon as I can, I don't want to leave you on the cliffhanger for so long!

Ive also been OBSESSED with the Blood and Ash series, if you like Loki I highly recommend you check it out!

I’d love to hear what y’all are thinking and where you think this could be going as it finally gets to the more dramatic parts :)

Chapter 12

Summary:

Synn gets a rude awakening

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Synn had told Idun about her and Loki, she should have expected Idun’s over-the-top reaction. Yet she had stood there, blushing a deep pink as her friend exclaimed and danced, much to Synn’s embarrassment. She was just glad that no one had been there to see it. Though, as much as Idun could be extravagant, Synn couldn’t help but be pleased that her friend was so happy for her. She felt like everything was working out, Asta had been supportive, Loki wanted to continue their relationship, and Idun was, well… Idun.

However, her happiness did not last long.

The next day Synn was woken up by rough hands shaking her, an unfamiliar voice yelling right in front of her face. She was disoriented and afraid, unable to understand the words being shouted at her. When she opened her eyes she was shocked to see three guards crowded around her bed, one of them having a firm grip on her arm.

“What’s going on?” She asked, her voice logged with sleep.

“Get up!” The guard holding her commanded. Synn was still trying to make sense of it, what had she done to deserve being treated so horribly? She had no idea who these strange men were, and she felt frozen in their irritated gazes.

The guard had grown impatient, tossing her covers off of her, he dragged her out by her arm. Synn cried out in pain, her butt slamming into the cold floor. The guard had strengthened his grip, digging his fingers into her bicep. Her roommates, who had already been sitting up in their beds at the intrusion were startled by the commotion.

“Let her stand up!” Exclaimed Idun, trying to reach for Synn. However, another guard had blocked her path, not letting her get close.

“Leave her alone!” Shouted another, Synn was unable to see or recognize who the voice belonged to in her confusion. Had she not been half-naked, only in her light pyjamas, being humiliated in front of her roommates before she had even fully woken up, she would have felt touched at them jumping to her aid. All she could feel at that moment was fear and confusion.

“These are the King’s orders, try to stop us and you’ll be tried for treason.” The guard blocking Idun stated. Everyone in the room stilled, what could the King possibly want with a gardener? Synn paled, it had to have something to do with Loki. He’d warned her only the night before of his father’s disapproval, Synn had been arrogant enough to think she could escape it.

She was pulled to her feet, her arm yanked in a direction it was not meant to go. The pain stung, causing tears to well up in her eyes. She watched as one guard threw her small drawer of belongings into a bag, her bracelet falling to the floor. She tried to reach for it, a desperate attempt to save it, it was an important item and she needed its comfort at that moment.

The guard holding her did not care or tolerate her distress. They were there on orders from the King, they had to make sure they did their job efficiently. He pulled Synn back, the back of her head smashing into his heavy armour, and his arm wrapping around her throat. She had cried out at the impact, the tears now freely flowing down her face. There was nothing she could do as the guard with her belongings stepped his heavy foot down, smashing the golden bracelet beneath it. She struggled in the guard’s grasp, fighting for air and sobbing as she was unceremoniously dragged from the room.

“Stop! You’re hurting her!” Idun yelled, trying to reach for her friend. She was unsuccessful in her attempt as she was shoved roughly backwards by a guard, falling flat on her back.

Synn used the last of her air to call out in fear for Idun, begging anyone who could hear to please help her. She could barely believe what was happening and she had no idea where they were going to take her. She was in full panic, her throat aching as the guard gripped her tight, was he aware that she couldn’t breathe, or did he simply not care?

She started to go limp in the guard’s arms, feeling weak from lack of oxygen, still being dragged down the hallway, when suddenly she was dropped, the pressure against her neck and back gone.

She landed on her hands and knees, coughing and gasping for air. Looking back she felt a rush of relief to see a familiar, yet angry face. Thor was standing there, having pulled the large guard off of her, the other guards unsure of what to do. It was the King who ordered Synn’s removal, but they were not about to act against his son, Prince Thor.

“What is the meaning of this?” Thor demanded.

“King’s orders, sire, we are to remove Synn from the premises and bring her to Midgard.” The guard who had been holding her explained. Thor got close to him, menacing in his stance.

“And that involved choking her?” He asked, the rage barely concealed in his voice. He may be arrogant and have his head in the clouds at the best of times but he would never tolerate the injury of innocents. As far as he was concerned, Synn had done nothing wrong.

“She- She tried to escape!” The guard stammered.

Thor looked at her, a question in his eyes. Synn shook her head, unable to speak over her tears, anger, and pain, but wished they had taken more than one second to think, maybe then they would have realized what she had been reaching for instead.

Thor shot one last menacing look towards the guards.

“I’ll take it from here.” He said. A chorus of ‘yes, sir’s’ were heard as the guards dispersed, not wanting to deal with an angry God of Thunder.

“Synn, are you alright?” He asked, kneeling beside her, placing a gentle hand on her back. Synn nodded, unable to stop her hiccuping sobs. She was still terrified, the effects of having been dragged out of bed and subsequently choked were still weighing heavily upon her.

Thor, noticing her state of undress, unhooked his cape and tossed it over her shoulders.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“I apologize for not getting here sooner, I had only just gotten wind of it,” Thor said, helped her stand. Synn rubbed at her throat, the ghost of the heavy metal arm still imprinted there.

“Synn!” Idun exclaimed, rushing forward from the room, tears rolling down her face. She ran over to where Synn stood with Thor, relieved that the guards were gone and she could make sure her friend was alright.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t stop them.” Idun pulled Synn into a hug, Synn sagging against her friend.

“Only you would try to stop a small army of guards,” Synn said with a humourless chuckle.

“Are you going to be okay?” Idun pulled back, running her hands over Synn’s face like an anxious mother.

“I just don’t understand, they said they were taking me to Midgard?”

“I believe talking with my father will have answers for that, though I am sure my brother will want to see you first.” Thor held out his arm, indicating for Synn to hold on. Synn felt her stomach twist, embarrassed to be going to see Loki bruised and wrapped in his brother’s cloak, but eager to see him nonetheless.

“I’ll go with you.” Idun offered.

“Thank you, Idun, though it would make me feel better to know that you are safe here. I fear for everyone involved in stopping the King’s orders.” As much as Synn would have loved Idun’s support, she could not risk her friend.

“Then I’ll be here for you when you get back,” Idun stated, so sure in her words. Synn appreciated Idun more at that moment than she ever thought possible.

With one last hug, Idun went back to the room, shooing the other girls back inside.

Synn held onto Thor’s offered arm and followed him towards Loki’s chambers.

“Are you sure it’s necessary to talk to the King? I really shouldn’t be taking up so much of your time.” After Synn’s rude awakening that morning, the last thing she wanted was to be involved in a conflict with the most powerful man in Asgard.

“Nonsense!” Thor asserted, “I’m not going to let all my hard work getting you two together go to waste.”

Synn felt a startled laugh escape her throat, leave it to Thor to make jokes in serious situations.

They remained in companionable silence until they arrived at Loki’s room, nervousness pooling in her belly. She knew Loki would be angry, not at her of course, but she feared what he may do when he saw the state of her.

Thor knocked on his door, not waiting for a reply before ushering Synn inside. The room was just as stunning as it had been the last time she had been there, though the bed was unmade and his pyjamas were tossed in a pile on the floor. She found she enjoyed the more lived-in look, making the room seem warmer and less sterile.

Loki was standing near his dresser on the far side of the room, hairbrush in hand. He had turned around, about to reprimand his brother once more for not waiting for a reply before entering his room, when he caught sight of Synn. His face morphed into concern, rushing forward, dropping the hairbrush and allowing it to clatter to the floor. Synn could only imagine the state she was in, her face puffy and red, her neck bruised and cut, wrapped up in his brother’s large red cape like a child who had just gotten out of bed on a chilly morning. That wasn’t even accounting for the bruises and scraps she would have on her arm and backside.

Synn tried to hold back the tears when she saw Loki, a rush of relief threatening to overwhelm her, her bottom lip quivering where she held it under her teeth. When he scooped her up gently in his arms, bending slightly so she could press her face into his neck, she could not stop the sobs from escaping. She had been so afraid, not just for her safety but of losing the man she loved so dearly. Midgard was a large planet, finding her there would be almost impossible, especially if no one knew where she had gone in the nine realms. She would have lost not only Loki but Asta, Idun, her aunt and uncle, and everyone else she held dear. It was almost unthinkable.

She felt safe as she leaned into his embrace, his hand softly petting her head.

“What did you do?” Loki accused his brother, turning to look at him.

“This was not my doing, I found her being taken by guards,” Thor explained, putting his hands up in defence.

“Father,” Loki growled, his anger rising. He knew instantly that it must have been him, there was no one else who would want to and have the means to order guards to harm Synn.

He straightened, never letting go of Synn. He held her tight, how did he let this happen? He thought he’s been so careful. There was no way he was going to be letting Synn out of his sight until this issue had been resolved.

Loki stepped back, lifting her chin to examine her injuries.

“Whoever did this to you will not live to see tomorrow.” Loki threatened, darkness in his eyes Synn had never seen before.

“I’m alright, Loki.” She tried to reassure him but he did not hear her, his rage blinding him.

“Where is Father?” Loki snarled at his brother.

“I saw him headed to the Throne room earlier this morning,” Thor said, unfazed by his brother’s volatile mood. Loki made a move to leave but Synn put her feet down, holding him in place.

“If you go in there as angry as you are it will only make matters worse.” She began as her sobs died down. “I know you are upset, I am too, but this rage will not do us any good.”

Loki deflated, anger still evident on his face but the murderous look she saw before had vanished. It worried her how quickly he could put on a mask to hide his feelings, but now was not the time to bring it up.

“We should get you out of Thor’s cape,” Loki muttered mostly to himself before turning to look at his brother.

“Thor, get Synn something to wear.” Thor left the room without any protest at being ordered around, his voice ringing out in the hallway as he flagged down a palace staff. His brother gone, Loki gently lifted her chin to examine her neck.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” He worried, pausing his hand an inch from her neck.

“I told you I’m fine.” Synn insisted, moving his hand away from her neck and onto her shoulder, suppressing the wince as he touched the wound.

“I will not let him take you from me,” Loki promised.

“I know.” Synn smiled, reaching out to hold his cheek tenderly. Loki gave her a lingering kiss on the forehead before pulling her back towards him, her head tucked soundly under his chin. They stayed held together, neither wanting to let go, their silent breathing the only sounds filling the room.

They broke apart when Thor re-entered the room, carrying a standard golden dress worn by many palace staff. The brothers stepped outside, giving her some privacy to change. The dress was slightly small and clung tightly to her hips. Her shoulder ached when she lifted it as she put on the dress. There were no sleeves on the dress, showing off the newly purple bruises the guard’s fingers had left on her bicep and the odd angle her shoulder stuck out at. She sighed, embarrassed to have been so easily marked, but too tired to do anything about it.

Synn met them outside, handing Thor his cape. Loki narrowed his eyes upon seeing her arm.

“I thought you said you weren’t hurt anywhere else?” He asked.

“I said I was fine, I can handle it.” Synn corrected.

“Perhaps she is stronger than you give her credit for, brother,” Thor added. Loki huffed in annoyance but dropped the subject.

“I must take my leave,” Thor straightened, reattaching his cape, “but I wish you both the best of luck.”

“Thank you, Thor,” Synn put a hand on his arm, “I won’t forget this.”

With a small smile, Thor left the two of them, swinging Mjilnor and flying off from a nearby balcony.

“Of course he will leave us to deal with father, ever the golden child, unwilling to stand up against him.” Loki gritted out.

“But he did interrupt the King’s orders.” Synn pointed out, slipping her hand into his and giving it a gentle squeeze. Loki wrinkled his nose in annoyance but could not deny her words. It was more than he honestly expected from Thor, and maybe he would thank him later. Maybe.

They headed towards the Throne room, Synn’s heart rate picking up as they got closer. She felt Loki’s thumb rub gently against her palm and shot him a thankful look. Synn tried to let go as they got to the entrance, but Loki held firm, he wasn’t going to be letting go of her when they were so close to the man who had tried to separate them.

Synn’s breath caught in her throat as they entered the room. It was massive, taller than any room she had ever been in. It was adorned with gold, intricate designs carved into the walls. At the far end, in the centre of the room stood a huge throne. Similarly, it was made entirely out of gold, jutting rings surrounding it, the chair much too large for any Asgardian she knew. It radiated power and sitting on top of it was the most powerful man in Asgard, King Odin, the All-Father.

“Loki, always a pleasure to see my son.” He greeted as they arrived at the base of the steps that led to the Throne. He did not acknowledge Synn’s presence or her firm grasp on Loki’s hand.

“Why did you do this?” Loki growled in response, not having the patience to deal with any niceties.

“I don’t know what you are asking me,” Odin said, his voice calm.

“Yes you do, stop ignoring her,” Loki responded, tired of his father’s games.

“Can she not speak for herself?” Odin’s voice had a level of condescension that Synn did not even know was possible and she bristled under his tone.

“Why did you order to have me removed from the castle?” Synn asked, her voice wavering. Odin was an intimidating man but the conversation was going nowhere with Loki.

“Ah, so she does speak,” Odin said, finally allowing his eyes to rest on her. He walked down towards them, standing one stair above them, a staff held in his hands. Loki moved forward a step, pulling Synn so she was partially covered behind him. He would not let his father touch her if it was the last thing he did.

“Answer her question,” Loki demanded, the rage from before sliding into his voice.

“She is to be removed from the palace and sent to Midgard immediately. She has no place with you, need I remind you that you are a prince in case, you have forgotten.” Odin stated, thumping the end of his spear on the ground. From the sides of the throne room came a group of twenty guards, all wearing the same heavy armour as those who had tried to take her this morning. Synn grabbed onto Loki’s arm, fear and panic rising in her chest.

“Then I will go with her.” Loki all but growled.

“You will stay here.” Odin countered. “She is nothing more than palace staff, a distraction, she is not worthy of your time or affection.”

“You do not get to decide that! Look at what your guards have already done to her, she does not deserve this treatment!” Loki shouted, this had escalated quicker than he had imagined. He had thought in his naivety that he could reason with his father. It was clear that his words fell on deaf ears, Odin had already made up his mind.

“She has already caused this irrational behaviour from you, Loki, I will allow no more of it, you are forbidden from seeing her again. I am doing what is best for you and I hope that one day you can understand.” Odin thumped his staff once more as he turned to walk back up to the throne. The guards started moving towards them, Loki pulled Synn closer, spinning to try to keep her behind him. He pulled out his dagger, brandishing it towards the guards.

Synn panicked, it had escalated so quickly. It seemed that nothing they said would change Odin’s mind. He was set on not only removing her from her work and home but Asgard as well. What could she even do on Midgard? She had little knowledge of how their society worked. Worst of all, her entire family and Loki would be stuck on Asgard, forbidden from ever seeing her again.

Synn let go of Loki’s hand and arm, her heartbreaking as she did. She had to set this right, she didn’t want anyone else to get hurt on her behalf. Loki looked back at her, confusion on his face. Synn took a step forward, addressing Odin as she did.

“I will go, just please don’t let anyone else get hurt.”

“Synn, no!” Loki protested. Odin held up his hand, the guards stopping their advance.

Synn looked back at Loki, the devastated look on his face breaking her heart all the more.

“Your cooperation is appreciated,” Odin said, talking down to her like one would talk to an unruly child.

“She’s not going anywhere.” Loki stated, his voice warbling with desperation and his eyes never leaving hers, “I love her, and I will never stop loving her no matter where you take her.”

“You will get over it, this is nothing more than a fleeting feeling, my son,” Odin commanded. Loki had never felt so out of control before, he was used to people heading his word. While he and his father had never seen eye-to-eye, he had hoped in vain that he could prove to his father that Synn should say, but as soon as they had stepped into the Throne Room, they didn’t stand a chance. Loki thought they should have run while they were still able. They could escape together, forge a new life somewhere else. As long as they were together, they could be happy, but it was too late now, he had no idea how they were going to get out of this.

In a last-ditch effort and fit of rage, he turned on his father, holding his dagger, poised and ready to throw. He didn’t stand a chance against Odin, but if he could distract him for a moment, Synn could get away.

Before Loki was able to release his dagger, a voice rang out from the opposite end of the hall.

“Enough!” They shouted, their voice ringing like an angel. Everyone paused, turning to look at the new person who had entered the fray. They were a woman, her face stern yet kind, her dark blonde hair shining like a halo around her head. She was beautiful and commanding, she was Queen Frigga, and she had had enough of this family squabble.

“Loki, do not stab your father,” Frigga commanded, walking towards them, “this has gotten out of hand,”
Loki reluctantly sheathed his knife, returning his hand to Synn’s, his face set like stone, impossible for her to read.

“Frigga, thank you for your voice of reason. We may remove this girl now that-“ Odin started to say as he stood to greet his wife.

“You will do nothing of the sort.” Frigga interrupted. Synn’s body rushed with relief, beyond thankful that she had stepped in before things had gotten messier than they already were. With Frigga on their side, maybe she stood a chance at not losing everything she had worked for her entire life.

“I have seen the good this woman has done for our son, he loves her so much he has never been able to hide it, you were aware of this, yet now you chose to send her away.”

“What right do you have to challenge me?” Odin demanded, his anger filling the room.

“I am your wife, and more importantly Loki’s mother. I have a say in how we raise him, but Loki has choices in his own life. He has chosen her, you do not get to tell him how he should feel, it will only breed resentment between you two.” Frigga explained, her voice staying calm and measured. Synn admired her bravery, it was no easy feat to stand up to an imposing figure like Odin, being his wife or no.

“You are as stubborn as he is, Frigga,” Odin grumbled.

“And you would have me no other way,” Frigga said, love clear in her voice. Odin pinched the bridge of his nose, something she had seen Loki do many times before. He had clearly gotten it from his father. At any other time, she would have chuckled at the realization, but at that moment, she was drained.

“I will not give you my blessing, but I will withdraw my order to have her removed. You are responsible for her now and she may never return to her position as palace staff if she is to be with you.” Odin conceded. Synn’s heart seized, she was no longer allowed to work in the gardens. She had spent so much time there over the past few centuries, how could she all of a sudden stop? She had put so much care into her work. She really should have expected this, if she were to be with Loki officially she would not be allowed to act as a staff who serves him and his family. Loki was worth it, she was sure they could work something out, Loki would not let her toil away doing nothing of interest to her.

“That isn’t fair, you-“ Loki argued before being cut off by his father.

“This is my final decision, or would you rather I continue with my first order?” Odin threatened. Synn looked at Loki, her eyes pleading as she nodded. She wanted to take this deal, if it meant they would not be forced apart she could deal with the consequences. Loki’s expression softened, if Synn was okay with this then he could be too, for now.

“Thank you, father,” Loki said, a charming mask put up over the rage he hid inside.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” Frigga asked, not waiting for her answer before gently guiding Synn away from Odin, Loki following quickly behind. She could feel Odin’s eyes boring into her back.

Once they were out of Odin’s earshot, Synn felt herself relax.

“It is wonderful to finally meet the woman my son talks so highly of, though I am sorry for the circumstances it was under.” Frigga smiled, removing her guiding hand from Synn’s back. To her other side, Loki blushed.

“M-Mother.” Loki stammered.

“I did have to pry it out of him, I’m sure you know he’s not overly forthcoming with his feelings.” Frigga teased, only embarrassing her son more. She’d waited so long for this moment and was not going to waste any more time, it was a mother’s job.

“He thinks he’s so good at hiding them.” Synn giggled, Frigga’s gentle care brightening her mood.

“You’re betrayal cuts me deeply, Synn.” Loki joked, a fake swoon bringing more laughter out of her. Though the laughter quickly turned into a cough, her throat was still not ready for much use after the events of earlier today. Loki held onto her, Synn leaning into him for support. Frigga led them further away from the Throne Room, back the way they had come in. Synn realized with a start that they had ended up back at Loki’s room.

Synn walked inside, Frigga instructing her to take a seat at the breakfast table, Loki hovering beside her. Synn knew that Loki’s mother had been the one to teach him magic, but when her hands shone a light yellow while examining her throat, she had startled back. Frigga chuckled as Synn apologized.

“It is quite alright.” She assured, before looking at her son who had inched closer when Synn had jumped, hand on his dagger.

“Loki, will you please give us some space for a moment? I need to fully examine her.” Frigga said gently. She was telling him he needed to stop being so protective, she was his mother, she was not going to hurt Synn. Loki looked like he wanted to protest but nodded as Synn gave him an encouraging smile. With one last longing look at Synn, he left to stand on his balcony.

“I know my son can be intense sometimes, but he has a good heart. It is clear how much he cares for you.” Frigga spoke quietly enough that Loki would not be able to hear from outside.
“I care very much for him as well.” Synn blushed. “Thank you for your help, I don’t know what would have happened had you not been there.”

“My husband loves his sons so much and he does not know how to express it. Sometimes it can blind him to the truth that he cannot always be there to protect them forever.” Frigga explained. Synn nodded, she tried her best to understand. Being a part of the royal family had its challenges, having to maintain certain traditions and looks. Yet she still had a hard time seeing how Odin could be so upset when Loki was so happy.

Frigga slowly healed Synn. The bruises were still apparent, and her shoulder was still sore, but the pain had subsided. Synn thanked her, trying to convey her gratitude for all that this woman, who was essentially a stranger to her, had done.

“Anything for the person who makes Loki happier than I’ve ever seen him.” Frigga winked at her. Synn looked away bashfully.

Frigga called for Loki, standing up to go.

“Be careful, both of you. There is much more to discuss but that can wait for another time.” Frigga warned as Loki came back inside.

“Thank you, mother,” Loki said, coming back to stand beside Synn. Frigga left, leaving them both in silence once more. Loki took Synn’s hand and helped her up out of the chair.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked.

“Much better, I don’t feel it anymore.” Synn rubbed her neck, her thoughts still swirling in her head.

“I’m glad.” Loki’s concerned gaze softening.

“What happens now?” She asked. She had been left in Loki’s room, no instructions on how to move forward other than that she was no longer allowed to be palace staff. Where was she supposed to stay and what exactly was expected of her?

“Now, you rest,” Loki answered, pulling her towards the bed. With Synn’s arms being pulled out in front of her she suddenly had the feeling that something was missing.

“My bracelet!” She gasped, the memory coming back to her.

“We will get someone to fetch your belongings for you,” Loki assured, not understanding her panic. Synn shook her head, it didn’t matter if they got it, she couldn’t wear a bracelet that was broken in two.

“They broke it, one of the guards stepped on it,” Synn explained, hanging her head. Loki stopped, guiding her head back up with his hand resting under her chin.

“I will give you all of the bracelets you desire if you take some time to rest. We can worry about everything else later.” He promised. Synn was tired, resting sounded like the perfect idea.

“I only want the one bracelet, it was special to me.” She said a sad smile on her face.

“Then I will do my best to have it fixed.” Loki offered. He had access to a variety of resources in the castle, he was sure he could find someone who could fix it. With that reassurance, Synn allowed Loki to bring her to the bed.

They climbed on together, laying on top of the covers, tangled in each other’s arms. Synn felt her eyelids droop, exhaustion taking hold. She felt safe knowing that Loki was with her, holding her tightly to him.

“I love you, I don’t want you to ever doubt that. Nothing will ever stop how I feel about you. Not even if you were to be banished to the farthest reaches of the nine realms.” Loki declared, pressing kisses onto the top of her head.

“I love you too, Loki. No distance would stop me from making my way back to you.” She said, tilting her face towards his. Loki closed the space between them, careful to be gentle with her. His lips were soft as they brushed against hers. She could feel with every kiss the care he put into it and how much he wanted to be there by her side.

Synn fell asleep, her love for Loki beating strong in her chest. She no longer cared about what was to come, she knew that as long as she had Loki, there was nothing that could stop her.

Notes:

Sorry this chapter took me so long, it needed a lot of work! But it is almost twice the length of most chapters so I hope that helps make up for the wait :)

The next chapter will also take longer as I'm going away for a week but I even if it takes me longer to post the chapters I won't be abandoning this fic! I am so excited for when we get to Thor 1!!

Chapter 13

Summary:

Synn gets settled

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Synn slept the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. Loki was not tired like she was but had been content to sit with her, stroking her hair as she had once done for him. She would have slept longer had it not been for food being brought to them, likely having been sent by his mother. The knocking on the door had Synn jolting awake in panic, her eyes wide with fear. She quickly calmed down upon seeing she was still curled up in Loki’s arms.

They ate in silence, still going over the events from earlier that day. So much had happened and there was still so much to do. Beneath the table they stayed in contact, Loki rested his long legs against hers. She was grateful for the reassurance, having almost been taken away had left her needing to feel him with her. It was a physical grounding that help hold her thoughts down, not letting them run rampant and cause her more anxiety than they already were.

“Your father said he would not give us his blessing, what does that mean exactly?” Synn asked over their empty plates. Loki sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It means that should we want to marry we will not be allowed to do so.” Loki explained.

“Oh.” Synn was not sure how else to respond. Loki was talking of marriage. She had thought about it, of course, she knew she wanted to stay with Loki as long as he would have her, but to talk about such a serious step was not something she had prepared herself for. Especially not a few days since they had first admitted their feelings for each other. She had wanted him for so long, but she also wanted time to get to know their new relationship. She had hoped for more privacy at the beginning but she was sure that news of their coupling was going to be quickly spreading around the palace.

Asta and Frida had courted for decades before announcing their wedding, but Asta was always one to take it slow. It didn’t matter anyway, as it stood, Synn and Loki would never be allowed to marry.

“That’s not something we have to think about now.” Loki assured her, seeing the gears turning in her head. “We have time just for us, to figure out how we want this to work, we can take it as slow as we need.”

“I would like that.” Synn smiled, while she didn’t necessarily feel the need to go slow, she appreciated his words nonetheless.

“If my father had given his blessing we would have been expected to marry soon.” Loki continued, “At least this has given us some time without that pressure.”

Synn nodded, though her mind had already jumped to another subject.

“Now that I cannot live in the staff quarters, where am I meant to be? Should I move back in with Asta?” She asked. Asta’s home was not too far from the palace, while she would miss seeing him as often, she was sure they could make it work.

“That is up to you, you may live with Asta if you wish or somewhere else in the palace, but…” Loki trailed off, averting eye contact. “You are also welcome to stay here with me.”

Synn was quiet, thinking over her options. Her initial reaction was to jump at the opportunity to live with Loki. However, their relationship was new and she didn’t want to rush him. While so much had happened since they had their romantic night on the cliff, making it feel like so much longer since then, she did not want Loki to feel like he had to offer for her to live with him if he was not yet comfortable. She felt ready, having been in love with Loki for so long, living with him so soon did not feel as strange as she would have expected. Loki, taking her silence for hesitancy quickly tried to rephrase his words.

“As pleased as I am to see your interest in pursuing this with me, I do not want you to feel like you have to. I know how much that garden meant to you and I do not want to come between you and something that connects you to your father.” He said, still not meeting her eyes.

Synn reached across the table, holding his hand in hers and waiting for him to look back at her. “Yes, I loved my work in the garden and the connection it allowed me to have to someone I never got the chance to know, but I love so much more. You are more important than the royal garden. Besides, your balcony gets wonderful light, perfect for a variety of plants, don’t you think? It could add some life to this room.”

Loki’s face lit up with hope. “Does that mean you would like to live with me here?”

“Only if that is something that you want as well, I don’t want to rush you into anything you are not ready for.” Synn smiled shyly at him.

“I want you to stay here, the more time I can be with you, the better.” Loki squeezed her hands gently. Synn felt elated, she hadn’t realized that this was what she wanted, but now that she did she wasn’t going to let this chance go. Odin had only managed to push them closer together, faster than they would have on their own.

Synn stood up, walking to his side of the table. She held his face in her hands and leaned down until their lips met. She could feel his mouth smile against her as he nimbly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down so that she was sitting in his lap, his strong arm supporting her back. Synn squealed with surprise, looking up at him, her mouth parted.

“You should warn me next time.” She giggled, her eyes shining with mirth.

“But I so enjoyed that adorable squeal.” He teased, pressing their foreheads together.

“Call it a squeal again and I’ll have no choice but to tickle you.” Synn retorted, wiggling her fingers menacingly.

“You wouldn’t dare.” Loki let out a fake gasp, a dramatic look of horror on his face.

“I guess you’ll have to find out.” Synn shrugged.

They laughed, returning to their embrace. Their closeness warmed her heart, she could have stayed pressed firmly against him forever. However, they were interrupted only minutes later by another knock on the door.

Sighing, Synn got out of his lap. As much as she didn’t want to let him go, they would have plenty of time later to continue.

“For Lady Synn.” Came a voice as Loki answered the door. Loki thanked the attendant and took the bag from him. It was Synn’s small amount of belongings all stuffed into an old bag, the one she had kept under her bed from when she had first moved in.

 

Loki gave her her bag, allowing for her to search through to make sure that all her things were still there. She was relieved to find that everything had been neatly folded and placed in the bag, a small note sitting on top. Synn opened the note to find familiar handwriting.

‘I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY! WORD IS THAT YOU’LL BE LIVING ELSEWHERE NOW, PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S NOT PRISON!
I LOVE YOU,
-IDUN’

Synn chuckled, folding the note back up with the rest of her items. She would have to find some way to contact her friend and made a mental note to ask Loki later. Near the top of the bag was the broken bracelet. Synn took it out and handed it to Loki.

“I’ll have no problem finding someone to fix this.” He stated, gently tucking the bracelet away.
“Since you are staying, why don’t you unpack your clothes.”

Loki showed her where there were empty spaces in the closet and drawers. Synn didn’t have much, most of which were dirty work clothes, and she felt herself feeling self-conscious in comparison to Loki’s impressive wardrobe. The only high-end dress she owned was the one she had worn to her sister’s wedding. How was she even supposed to begin to fit in here if she didn’t look the part? Sensing her unease, Loki gently placed a hand on the small of her back, guiding her away from the closet.

“We will find you some more suitable clothes,” Loki assured, “though I find you beautiful no matter what you are wearing.”

“I don’t want to take up more of your resources, I already feel like I’m invading your space.” Synn fiddled with the hem of her collar, eyes darting around. Loki’s room was decadent, to say the least, how could a common person such as herself deserve any of it, let alone one of Asgard’s princes. She felt panicked, what would people think of her? That she was in it just for the money? That she was not put together enough to be worthy of Loki? She had been friends with him for so long she often forgot his status and all that came with it. None of it mattered to her, she only cared about who Loki was as a person, as a friend, but she could not deny what came with a relationship with him.

“Synn,” Loki interrupted her train of thought, “I can see you overthinking this. I know how your brain likes to work against you but remember what I said, I want you here and you want to be here, that is all the reason you need to belong here. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“I know.” Synn cupped his cheek with her hand, running her thumb along his cheekbone. Her panic had stilled at his words. While she was still worried, his reassurances had helped her feel calmer. She stood up on her tiptoes to press a light kiss to his lips before stepping back. She was happy he knew her so well, it was difficult to stop her trains of thought from running rampant on their own, often finding their way to the deepest of her insecurities. However, those who were closest with her, Asta, Idun, and Loki, had always been able to spot when she had gotten lost and were able to bring her back.

“You know,” Loki grabbed her waist and walked her back towards the bed, his hips crowding against hers, “now that we are together, there are other ways I can help distract you.”

His voice was low and sultry, his eyes deep with desire. Synn blushed a dark pink at what he was implying. She couldn’t pretend she hadn’t thought of it, the idea of sharing a bed with him later than night only adding to it. It was normal on Asgard for couples to be intimate soon after they got together, if not immediately. Synn had been with others before, and she knew Loki had too. They’d never talked about it together, tending to avoid the subject of romance altogether. Synn had enjoyed it, but she had not felt any real attachment to any of her flings. Only Loki had been able to make her feel nervous yet comfortable at the same time, safe to be who she was without fear of judgment. He was the one who caused those butterflies to flap in her stomach and her cheeks to turn rosy at the thought of being with him.

“Is that so?” Synn challenged, wrapping her arms around his neck, “What happened to take it as slow as we need?”

“I can do slow.” Loki purred, kissing down her neck. Synn’s eyes fluttered, her skin lighting up where he touched her. While the thought of showing Loki all of her was intimidating, she still knew that she was safe with him, she could trust him. Maybe they were rushing it, they had just agreed to live together after having only been with each other for a few days, but nothing had ever felt so right. They were both still recovering from what had only happened earlier that morning. There was still the problem of his father’s blessing to deal with, but Odin be damned, Synn did not care for his opinion on their relationship. She loved Loki more than she could ever say and she wanted him in more ways than she had let herself imagine. She wanted them to be joined, wanted to feel all of him as he felt all of her. She would not let them take her from him and the thought of physically being entangled with Loki made her feel safer like there was nothing they could do to separate them after that.

As they embraced, connecting in a way that only lovers can, they both felt their love join, their need to please the other running strong. True to his word, Loki took it slow, stretching out the longing and ferocity that Synn felt trying to claw its way out of her throat until it was finally released.

They lay next to each other on the bed, panting and spent, blissful looks adorning their faces. Synn looked over at him, brushing a loose lock of hair out of his face.

“I love you.” She said.

“I love you too.” Loki gathered her up in his arms, holding her close, skin pressed against skin as they dozed. Content and full, they spent the night in each other’s company, lazily tracing shapes on each other’s skin, falling in and out of a comfortable sleep.

The next morning they got up early, feeling full of energy and excitement. Synn and Loki couldn’t keep the smiles off of their faces as they washed in Loki’s lavish tub together. Synn splashing him playfully as they washed. A green flash shot out in the water, causing a huge wave to come crashing down over Synn, water spilling out onto the floor. Synn spluttered, spitting out water and removing her hair from her eyes as Loki laughed. She glowered at him, only forgiving him when he started gently massaging her scalp as he worked in her soap. She leaned into his chest, her face smoothed against his shoulder. She felt his laugh rumble in his chest as he continued to work away at her hair. For how horrible the start of yesterday was, Synn found herself feeling content. She couldn’t imagine a better way to wake up and start her day than in Loki’s arms and goofing off with him as though nothing had changed.

Once they were cleaned, dressed, and fed, Loki led Synn out of the room. Her nervousness had come back and she stayed close to Loki whenever they walked by any guards. Loki took her hand in his, keeping her next to him. Whether he was doing it for her comfort or his own, she did not know. Likely it was a mix of both.

They ended up at another set of ornate doors, similar to Loki’s and not more than a few corridors away.

“What are we doing here?” Synn asked.

“There are a few things we need to figure out, I’ve asked a loyal royal advisor for their help.” Loki opened the door, ushering Synn in before him. The room was small, about half the size of Loki’s room, containing two child-sized desks and a writing board at the front. It had scientific diagrams plastered on the walls along with different maps of the nine realms. At the back of the room near the two windows overlooking the water down below stood a woman. She reminded Synn of Gyda in the way that she held herself with poise and authority, an air of command around her. She had the same sharp features, though her eyes were a dark brown and her mouth a different shape. Her hair was tied back tightly in a bun, her hands clasped behind her back, and her dark robes hugged her thin frame.

“Ragna, thank you for coming.” Loki greeted, walking forward to shake her hand. When he had had the time to contact her, Synn had no idea, they had practically not left each other’s side since the incident. She assumed it must have something to do with magic.

“Of course, anything for the boy who brings me my favourite Vanaheim honey.” Ragna smiled warmly, her features softening more than Synn had thought possible. Loki seemed to have every person in the palace, besides his father and brother, wrapped around his finger. It certainly had come in handy, but Synn wondered how he was able to be that charismatic all of the time, it must be exhausting.

“Ragna, this is Synn, Synn, this is Ragna, she’s been an advisor of mine for some time.” Loki introduced them, Synn stepping forward to shake her hand as well.

“You two have caused quite the stir, the gossip has been out of control since that outburst with your father.” Ragna scolded Loki, wagging her finger at him like a child.

“He started it.” Loki shrugged, he wasn’t wrong. Ragna scoffed before turning her attention back to Synn. She looked Synn up and down, scanning her as though she was livestock. Synn swallowed nervously but held her ground.

“What was your schooling?” Ragna asked abruptly.

“My uncle taught us once a week, and I read some of the books that we had around the house,” Synn responded. It wasn’t much in comparison to Loki who had studied almost every day of his childhood.

“At least you can read, that will make the rest of your lessons much easier.” Ragna rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

“Lessons?” Synn asked, what sort of lessons would she need.

 

“Yes, you’ll need to learn how to fit in here if you’re ever going to make it,” Ragna stated, matter-of-factly. It made sense, she would have to learn how to act properly if she was going to have a shot at staying with Loki. It made her feel uneasy, she had seen the way that those who were higher up in Asgardian Court were expected to act and she didn’t think she could fully do that. They were so serious, attentive even when the topic was mind-numbingly boring, and quiet. She was rarely any of those things.
“You’ll have daily lessons here until you are deemed ready for court.” Ragna continued.

“Ragna, is that really necessary?” Loki could sense her discomfort and the idea of being stuck in a boring classroom all day sounded like the worst kind of torture to Synn.

“I do not mean to be harsh, but if you want Odin’s blessing one day and for Synn to not be shunned by all those in the palace then this is necessary.” Ragna was firm, she was a royal advisory, she knew what she was doing. Though her tone was not unkind, Synn was new to all of this and it was understandable she would have some apprehension. Nonetheless, this was an important step in making both of their lives easier.

“Thank you, Ragna, I understand,” Synn gave her a tired smile, hardly believing she was committing to this, but if it meant she could be with Loki officially, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do, “I will gladly be taught everything I need to know.”

Loki gave her a questioning look, having heard her rant so many times as a child about how awful it had been to sit still and listen to her uncle.

“Perfect, then you may return here tomorrow at dawn to start your studies, I will have found a suitable tutor by then,” Ragna smiled, pleased her plan came together, “and after you have been taught for some time we can get together and figure out how you can contribute at court, something that will win over the other courtesans. If we can do that then we have a chance at changing Odin’s mind.”

Synn had no idea what that would be, the only thing she understood was gardening, and since she couldn’t work in the gardens anymore, what sort of skills could she offer?

Ragna departed, having many people she needed to contact before tomorrow and wished the couple a good day.

The door closed behind her, leaving them alone in the room.

“I used to be taught here, Thor and I.” Loki walked slowly around the room, looking at all of the pictures on the wall, and tracing the edge of one of the desks.

“It’s nice,” Synn commented, eyes darting around, the idea of spending so much time in this room was already starting to make her feel antsy. Loki walked back over to her, holding both of her hands in his.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He tucked a stray curl back behind her ear.

“I can handle a few days of school,” Synn rolled her eyes, “how hard can it be to sit and concentrate for a few hours?”

It turned out to be very hard. Much harder than Synn had anticipated. The instructor they had brought in for her was nice enough, but the stillness she was expected to portray was torture. Not only that but she had to learn about subjects that she found entirely boring. She had to be proper, her first lessons being in how to fit in with royal society. She was exhausted, having to mask over who she was wasn’t something she excelled at. She could see why Loki was always so desperate for a break.

Synn just had to remind herself why she was doing this so that she could be with Loki. So she could be held in his arms every night as they fell asleep and wake up a tangled mess of limbs. She enjoyed nothing more than feeling the gentle caress of his lips as their bodies met, intimately and passionately. Though more than anything she was sitting through these tedious lessons so that she could talk with Loki, as they had always done, except this time she could hold his hand, running her thumb up and down his palm, and meet his gaze only to find his heart open to her in a way it wasn’t before. Loki rarely stopped touching her, always finding some excuse to keep them in contact, unless they were rooms apart. She had thought that maybe it would subside, but as of yet, he was always reaching for her or pulling her into his embrace. She wasn’t complaining, though she couldn’t help but wonder if it had to do with more than just the incident from earlier that week.

She had sent a letter to Idun, letting her know that she was alright and that she would visit as soon as she could, though she wasn’t allowed to visit the staff area at the time. Synn wished her friend well, hoping she could talk to her once more.

It wasn’t until the end of the first week that she took an interest in one of the subjects. It was nearing the time that Ragna had said they would regroup and figure out what Synn could offer and she was starting to get nervous. What if she really was useless? What did Loki see in her? When it was apparent that she had no more to offer, would Loki realize that she wasn’t good enough for him and leave her? She had to concentrate and ignore the thoughts intruding in her brain. Loki wasn’t like that, she knew that, her brain just had to catch up.

The subject was naturopathic medicine, specifically how to use plants in that context. Synn had a basic understanding of medicinal properties that some plants held, but there was so much more knowledge out there for her to learn. She loved the idea of being able to use her skills with plants to help people and felt relieved that she may have something tangible to offer. Synn had excitedly chattered to Loki when she met him outside of the classroom, her face lighting up as she spewed all of her newfound insight. Loki was pleased to see her so interested, admiring the way her eyes lit up as she talked to him about all that she had learned and all that she was excited to do.

Ragna agreed that it was a good fit for Synn and something that members of the court would find acceptable. Ragna arranged to have Synn train with some of the naturopathic practitioners in the palace once she had completed six months of schooling.

Synn spent that weekend working on a small garden of her own, this time planting plants that could be used for medicine. She borrowed books to read, getting so lost in this new fixation that she almost forgot to visit with Asta.

Loki went with her, both of them still not comfortable with Synn walking alone around the palace. They knew that she would have to soon, Loki was bound to be sent off-planet when one of the nine realms needed assistance. Until then they would stick together.

When they got to Asta’s house she greeted them both, though confused as to Loki’s presence, he wasn’t unwelcome and ushered them inside. She could tell by their nervous energy that something had changed.

“What happened?” Asta sat them down at the kitchen table, Frida bringing over a fresh loaf of bread and some butter. It was a comforting smell, allowing Synn to release the pent-up anxiety in her shoulders that she had not realized she was holding.

“It’s a little complicated,” Synn started, casting a glance over to Loki who sat still, looking around the room as though a threat might pop up out of nowhere, “but I am safe.”

Asta was silent, giving Synn her best ‘I’m going to need to know more face’ she learned from Aunt Astrid. Synn sighed deeply, she knew Asta would want to know all of the details and Synn was ready to tell her, however, that didn’t stop Synn from feeling stressed over the idea of reliving the events.

Synn relayed what had happened, how she’d been woken up and physically dragged from her room. Her bruise had mostly faded by then but the faint darkening of her skin could still be seen. Synn told her how Thor had rescued her, brought her to Loki, and how they had fought against the king. Asta’s eyes darkened when Synn told her how Odin wanted to send her to Midgard but remained silent until Synn was done. She ended the story with a quick ramble about how excited she was to start using plants to heal people, trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room. Loki held her hand through the story, squeezing gently in encouragement when she faltered.

Frida rubbed her wife’s back soothingly, though it seemed to do little to calm Asta’s rage.

“Who does this guy think he is?” Asta exclaimed, standing up out of her seat abruptly.

“The king, Asta.” Synn reminded her cousin, though logic was not something Asta currently cared about.

“Trying to take you away from not just Loki but your whole family!” Asta fumed, “If he doesn’t think I would have searched everywhere in the Nine Realms for you then he is sorely mistaken.”

“You aren’t the only one,” Loki added, neither of them would have rested until they had found Synn. Synn would have laughed in a different circumstance at the idea of Asta and Loki working together, she imagined they would bicker, but overall nothing would stop them if they put their minds to it.

“I appreciate it, but I am here and I am safe,” Synn reassured her cousin. Frida held onto Asta’s hand, pulling her back down into her seat.

“I know you feel protective and that’s okay, but as Synn said, she is fine and she hasn’t been banished from Asgard,” Frida added, while Odin wasn’t present, speaking out against the king was still a dangerous act.

“He better not try that again,” Asta grumbled, giving in to her wife’s soft touch.

“He won’t,” Loki assured a dark tone to his voice. He would do everything in his power to keep Synn out of the way of his father’s wrath.

The group was silent, letting their feelings wash over them. Asta was still worried for her cousin, though she could see how happy she was to be with Loki, not missing the love clearly in her expression when she looked at him, she still feared for her safety. Synn was her younger sister which meant that Asta had an innate sense of protectiveness over her.

“I’m glad you’ve found something interesting to do,” Frida cut through the tension, “why don’t you tell us about it?”

Synn brightened as Loki had seen her do in the days previous whenever she got the chance to tell anyone about her new fixation and she immediately started gushing to Frida and Asta about naturopathic medicine.

The mood lifted, Asta and Loki no longer stewing in their anger, not able to stop following along with Synn’s infectious smile. The conversation shifted once Synn had finished telling her cousin everything she had learned, Asta, feeling better about Synn staying at the palace knowing that she was at least happy in some respect, other than being with Loki. Loki needed not to be the only thing she had, while Asta knew Loki personally and through Synn, she was still wary of his reputation and didn’t want Synn to be trapped should some of the more dangerous aspects of him she had heard through rumours come to be true.

Synn left her cousin’s that evening feeling much better than she had before. The normalcy of visiting Asta and Frida had helped her feel grounded. While she was still on edge around unfamiliar guards, she was starting to get used to the change in lifestyle. It had been a shock for all their meals to be served to them, their hair care products being the highest of luxury, and the bed being so soft it felt like she was sleeping on a cloud. She felt like an imposter, that feeling only being worsened by Odin’s disdain for her. She was pleased that she never saw him, whether that was by his design or luck, she didn’t care. She did not need to be around the man who had tried to tear her away from her whole world.

As time passed she continued to settle into a routine, enjoying the domestic moments shared between her and Loki. In the early morning when she would wake up first and watch Loki’s face, relaxed in a way she never saw him when he was awake. She loved the small touches between them, how he was always holding her in some way, as though he had never felt a kind touch before. The more Loki would continue to always be touching her made Synn wonder who besides her and his mother had ever given him a kind touch.

It hadn’t taken long for Loki to have her bracelet fixed, the seam where it had broken was barely visible. It was almost as good as new, and Synn was quick to put it back on her wrist where it belonged.

In addition to her balcony garden hobby, she had been spending a lot of time with naturopathic practitioners. Her main focus was on the use of plants in making medicinal concoctions and she couldn’t imagine doing anything else. It involved not only her plants but there was an aspect of knowing that her work directly helped people that made her feel warm inside.

She worked with a variety of different people, many of who helped her integration into the court go rather smoothly. While many people still viewed her as a commoner, they could not deny her genuine kindness.

Her favourite time was when they would sit on the beautiful balcony as Synn tended to her small garden and Loki would practice his magic or talk with her about his most recent mission. It reminded her of a simpler time, a time where it was just the two of them, meeting in secret in the woods, nothing to worry about, their feelings still growing for each other. She wouldn’t give up the love she had with Loki for anything, though it was nice to reminisce. With Loki beside her, she felt safe, like nothing could come between them. As time passed and they continued their routine she couldn’t help but notice how upset Loki would get over any mention of his father’s lack of blessing. He tried to hide it from her, but she could see it in his eyes. It was an option that had been cruelly taken away from them and he couldn’t stand the idea of his father being able to hold something so big over him. They would never be allowed to marry, and Odin made no sign of taking back his statement. Synn’s favour had grown in the court as she started her training with the naturopaths, getting along with royals and staff alike. It frustrated her that he wouldn’t even acknowledge her or their relationship. Both Thor and Frigga had been more than supportive, trying to bring up the topic with Odin to no avail.

After a year of this endless cycle, Synn decided that she had had enough. She loved Loki with all of her heart and she could not stand idly by while Odin continued to harm him. She had to do something and she had an idea. It was clear to her that Odin valued strength above all else. While she had some physical strength, it would not be enough to sway him. She would simply have to appeal to his humanity, using her strength in her certainty for her feelings for Loki, how hard could it be?

Notes:

... I am SO SORRY for the delay!! My laptop broke and it took me forever to find a new one :(
I am moving soon so it may be a delay as well but hopefully not as long, that new What If episode really has me back on the Synn and Loki train. It's also given me newfound hate for Odin.

Let me know what you think!! I appreciate all comments <3

Chapter 14

Summary:

Synn does something either very stupid or very brave, maybe a little of both

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Your majesty.” Synn greeted, kneeling before the King as he sat on his throne. She tried to ignore the anxious nausea in her stomach as it climbed up her throat. She was doing this for Loki and herself, she was tired of living in fear of his father, avoiding his presence and worrying about what would happen should he decide that she should no longer be allowed to live on Asgard. Speaking with him could be disastrous if he took her words the wrong way but she would go crazy if she continued to live under his menacing shadow.

She was strong, she could do this. Or at least she hoped so.

Odin said nothing as he stared down at her, disdain in his eyes. Synn lifted her head, meeting his gaze, and swallowed the lump in her throat. There were no guards in the room, simply her and Odin. The last time she had been here Odin had tried to have her removed and banished to Midgard. She had been terrified then and she had not been alone. As her voice echoed off the walls of the cavernous room she realized how vulnerable she was. Should Odin wish, he could have her disposed of and no one would be the wiser. Thinking of it now, she probably should have left a note for Loki, letting him know of her plan, but it was too late for that. He would be back later that afternoon, but if Odin wanted, she would be gone before then. Synn cleared her throat and continued.

“If it is allowed I would appreciate being able to voice a concern of mine.” Synn kept her gaze firm as Odin did not move, letting the deafening silence of the room ring in her ears.

“I assume this has something to do with my son.” Odin finally spoke, his voice loud and authoritative.

“Yes, sire,” Synn answered, still crouched on one knee. She was getting sore in her position yet did not waver. She was set in her task and would not let any uncomfortableness ruin her speech.

“Go on then.” Odin sighed, exasperatedly waving his hand. This was beneath him, what did this commoner think she could do to change his mind? His statement was final and no one could convince him otherwise.

“I’ve been working very hard to prove myself,” Synn started, breathing through her nervousness, “I’ve been learning and studying naturopathy for a year now and I have been excelling. I have also learned the ways of the court and how to act in a royal capacity. I come from common folk, but I am not dull. I know you have your reservation about my relationship with Loki, but I beg you to reconsider.”

“You’ve managed to impress the people of the court, that is true,” Odin stood, his menacing form hovering above her, the dark look had not left his face, “However, that does not change your status. You are not worthy of Loki nor will you ever be. You should be grateful I do not have you banished immediately for questioning my authority.”

It stung, to hear those words again. Synn tried not to care for his opinion, but it was difficult to avoid the king’s decrees. She had not expected him to be immediately on board, yet she had hoped he would be slightly less hostile than last time.

“Your highness, please, I will do everything in my power to live up to what you expect of me-“ Synn tried to continue, remembering the points she had rehearsed earlier. Though she was cut off by Odin’s roaring voice before she could finish.

“Enough! There is nothing you can do, I have no expectations for you to fill because I expect nothing of you,” Odin commanded, making Synn flinch at his tone, “you are nothing in comparison to my son and I will hear no more of this. You have wasted enough of my time and if you wish to remain on Asgard you should heed my words and leave my presence at once.”

Synn kneeled in the echoing silence, Odin’s words ringing in her ears as she gritted her teeth. She wasn’t sure why she expected any different outcome. Odin was a stubborn man and she would not be able to sway him so easily. She had hoped he would see her work and her favour with the court and at least consider changing his opinion of her. She realized as she kneeled before the king that there was nothing she could ever do. She would never be able to marry Loki, and Loki would always sustain the brunt of his father’s disapproval. It filled her with a helpless rage that burned like a white-hot flame in her chest. It was not fair, no one should have a say over who she was allowed to love, who she wanted to be with, not even the king.

Synn stood up quickly, fists clenched at her side as Odin watched her.

“I do not care what you think of me!” Synn raised her voice, shaking with anger, she could barely register what she was doing, being fueled only by rage, “I am not doing this for myself. Yes, I love Loki more than anything, but your words do not hold any importance to me.”

“Be careful what you say, girl.” Odin spat, his face impassive as the grip on his spear whitened.

“I am asking for you to change your decree, not for myself but for Loki. You do not see the way it affects him because you are blind to his feelings. You mistake his love for me for nothing more than a childish crush and something that will pass. That is not how he feels, everyone else can see that but you. Yet, no matter how hard you are on him, no matter how much you push him away, your opinion and approval matter so much to him. He loves you,” Synn’s voice was full of emotion, her hand pressed against her chest trying everything she could to get through to Odin, “even though he has trouble showing it your lack of blessing has caused him more harm than you realize. I know you don’t care for me and I can live with that, but your disapproval is only hurting Loki. If you love him as you claim then you will reverse your decision and start treating him with the respect he deserves.”

Synn stood before Odin, her heart pounding in her chest, watching carefully as his thoughts churned in his head. What she had just said could be considered treason, but it was too late to take it back, not that she would want to. She meant everything she said, and it was something that Odin needed to hear. Challenging the king was not something she had taken on lightly, but she could not stop feeling proud of herself for speaking her mind, no matter the consequences.

“Leave, now, before I decide a much worse punishment than banishment from Asgard and be thankful no one was here to listen to your insolence.” Odin’s voice was level and calm yet it chilled Synn to her core. His anger was brewing deep under his apathetic tone, it had a dangerous hint that she had not heard before.

With nothing else to say or do, she heeded his words. Without any more argument, Synn walked out of the throne room, keeping a measured pace. It wasn’t until she was out of the room and on her own that she allowed herself to slump against the wall, her breathing turning erratic. What had she even been thinking? What did she think was going to happen? Why did she risk her relationship with Loki? She knew the answers, she had done this for her and Loki, yet after she exploded in anger she couldn’t help but continue to worry. What if her actions were taken out on Loki, putting him in a worse position than he had been previously? She could only hope that Odin would listen to some of the things she had said, specifically those about his effect on his son.

She pressed her eyes closed, waiting until her breathing calmed, before continuing back to her room. Loki would be home in a few hours and she still had events to plan. If Odin wouldn’t give them their blessing then she would have to make due on her own.

Synn left a note in their room where Loki would find it, instructing him to meet her at the cliff overlooking Vigrid Bay, the place where they had finally admitted their feelings for one another only one year ago. It felt like so much had happened since then, that they had changed yet remained the same people who had been in love since they were children.

It was the perfect place.

She picked a small forget-me-not from her balcony garden and grabbed a silk ribbon from her closet before heading out. She had gotten used to walking alone in the palace, though she was still wary, especially after her meeting with Odin earlier that day.

She got to the cliff before sunset, just as she had timed it, sitting down at the edge and dangling her feet off. It was the same as it was a year ago, minus the blanket and food. She reminisced on that night, the sweet nothings whispered in each other’s ears and the urgent embraces they had shared. She smiled as she tied the flower stem into a small loop, the forget-me-not blossom resting on top. She hoped she’d made it the right size. Her plan was last minute and she felt nervous as she went over the speech she had practiced on her way here. They hadn’t talked about marriage much, seeing as it wasn’t an option for them, but Synn knew in her heart that there was no one else she would rather spend her life with, and she was sure that Loki felt the same.

Loki walked up the path, only an hour behind her, as the sun started to set. She quickly stuffed the flower in the pocket of her dress and got up to greet him, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

“Was it you who wrote the note this time or do I have Thor and Asta to thank once more?” Loki joked, holding her hips to his.

“It was, in fact, me.” Synn giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“While I always enjoy time alone with you,” Loki brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. “Is there a meaning to this meeting or did you want to pick up where we left off last time we were here?”

Loki raised his eyebrows suggestively, Synn playfully smacked his chest.

“That depends on how the night goes.” Synn smiled slyly, an amused twinkle in her eye.

“If you’re here, I’m sure it will be a night to remember.” Loki’s flirtatious words made Synn blush, as they seemingly always did. She pulled back slightly, relinquishing her hold on him, Loki watching her curiously as she reached into her pocket and delicately clutched something in her palm.

“Don’t be mad,” Synn started, twisting her foot nervously in the ground, “I went to talk to your father today and asked him to reconsider his unwillingness to give us his blessing.”

“You what?” Loki could barely believe his ears, how could Synn be so foolish? She was lucky to have escaped with her life.

“It wasn’t my brightest move,” Synn smiled shyly at him, “but I couldn’t stand by and watch as his words affected you so deeply.”

“Synn,” Loki grabbed her empty hand and held it to his chest, if she had challenged his father’s authority it was a miracle she was still there, “I can handle my father, you didn’t need to risk your life for that.”

“I know, I know you are strong, but I could see the way it hurt you. You told me yourself that it was weighing you down.” Synn knew he could take it, but she hated to see him bear the brunt of his father’s disapproval.

“I didn’t tell you that so you would take matters into your own hands.” Loki pointed out.

“Loki, I wanted to help you and I don’t regret what I did. I spoke my mind and I am still here, granted permission to stay, and I’ve come to a realization.” Synn stated, firm in her belief. Loki took a pause, mulling over exactly what Synn meant by ‘spoke my mind’ but decided to come back to that later, he was dealing with enough shock as it was and didn’t need to know what kinds of words Synn had exchanged with Odin. He doubted they were polite.

“And what is that?” Loki asked, pushing forward.

“I don’t care about his blessing and I don’t care about formality, officially or not, I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” Synn took a step back, taking her hand out of his.

“What are you saying, Synn?” Loki asked. He had an idea, but wasn’t challenging the king enough treason for one day?

“That I love you more than I would have ever thought possible. You are the funniest, smartest, and bravest person I know. I cannot imagine a world without you nor do I want to,” Synn got down on one knee, looking up at Loki’s surprised face, “I know that this isn’t traditional and it means nothing in the eyes of anyone else, but I do not care for their opinions, nor that of your father.”

“Synn -“ Loki interrupted before Synn held up her hand.

“Please, let me finish, I practiced much more but I promise I will make it quick.” She vowed. Loki chuckled and nodded for her to continue.

“You are the love of my life and I want to spend every moment I can by your side,” Synn took a deep breath, silencing the fluttering of her heart, “Loki Odinson, will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

Synn opened her hand, revealing the flower she had hidden inside. She had fashioned it into a ring, the flower acting as a jewel on top. It may seem childish, but it was also very representative of herself. She had put her heart on her sleeve and gone against the wishes of the king, she knew what she wanted and she would not let anyone stop her.

Loki kneeled to be at her level. He cupped her face in his hands and brought their foreheads together, Synn dropping her hand out of the way. Their breaths mingled together as Loki let his guard down. This hadn’t been what he had expected when he had received Synn’s note, but he could not be happier. He had let his worry overtake him for a moment, the fear of losing the woman he loved stopping him from fully giving in to her words. Yet, as he listened, he realized he echoed Synn’s every sentiment.

“Yes, of course, I will,” Loki whispered, his voice clouded with emotion. Synn let out a relieved laugh, unable to stop the sound bubbling up and out of her throat. She rushed forward, pressing her lips to his. He held her close, tasting the salt of her happy tears as they fell down her cheeks.

“I believe you made a ring?” Loki prompted as he pulled back. Synn’s mouth formed an O as she quickly held up her homemade ring, slipping it onto his outstretched hand.

“I’m afraid I don’t have one for you, somehow you managed to surprise even me.” Loki teased, Synn was normally very obvious, unable to hide anything from him.

“To be fair, I did only come up with this earlier today,” Synn admitted, wiping the tears from her face.

“That would explain it.” Loki laughed, of course, it was last minute, when did Synn ever think things through?

“I know we can’t have an official ceremony, but we can still make a promise to each other,” Synn said, getting to her feet and offering Loki a hand. He took it and stood in front of her. The sun was half-hidden behind the horizon line, illuminating their forms on the cliffside. The sun reflected off of Synn’s golden hair and lit up Loki’s face.

Synn pulled the second item out of her pocket, the silk ribbon she had grabbed from their room.
“We’ve only just been engaged, married so soon?” Loki kept a serious face, but from his joking tone of voice, Synn knew he was only teasing.

“Well if you don’t want to we can always postpone, what’s a couple of thousand years, give or take.” Synn countered, going to put the ribbon away.

“Not so fast,” Loki snatched her wrist, a mischievous smile on his face, “you think I want to wait one more second to marry you?”

“Well, then you should give me your arm.” Synn held her arm up, clasping her hand in his as their forearms pressed into each other. She brought up the ribbon and started the handfasting tradition, tying their arms together in a symbol of their commitment. They made eye contact, the intensity of their gaze not lost on either of them. Synn felt safe with Loki, she was with him and would be with him no matter what Odin said. They were both stubborn and sure in their love, the more it was denied for them the more they wanted it. They would be wife and husband if only to each other.

“Do you have any vows in mind?” Loki asked. Synn smiled, she did. The traditional handfasting vows her parents had used for their wedding were strong and beautiful, perfectly describing her feelings for Loki.

“I know the vows my parents used, it would mean a lot to me if we could use them. I wish they could be here, I know they would support us in this, and using the vows that they did is the closest I can get to that.” Synn explained.

“That sounds perfect.” Loki cupped her cheek with his free hand, wanting to lean in and close the distance, but holding back, they had vows to exchange.

“You cannot possess me for I belong to myself,” Synn started the vows, reciting the words that Aunt Astrid had taught her so long ago, “but while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for I am a free person. I pledge to you that I will be your eyes into which I smile every morning. I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care. I will take joy in you, I delight in the love of you, you are to me the whispering of the tides, the seduction of the summer’s heat. You are my friend, my lover, grow old and wise with me, as I will do with you. A life before us of rainbows and sunsets, and a willingness to share in happiness and in sadness. I love you, I adore you.”

Loki repeated her words, pausing when he needed a prompt. He continued to wrap their arms together, his thumb gently brushing the back of her hand as he spoke. Synn’s cheeks hurt from her wide smile, unable to contain the pure joy she felt at being united with Loki in their own personal way. The softness and care in Loki’s tone warmed her heart and brought tears back to her eyes. When he was done they dropped their now joined arms to the side, closing the distance between them. With their foreheads resting against one another and arms encircling their bodies, Synn spoke once more.

“I do, do you?” She asked with a giggle, there was no one standing before them to ask this question. Synn felt silly having to do it herself, but the smile it put on Loki’s face was worth it.
“I do.” He murmured, his lips brushing hers.

“Then you better kiss me.” Synn teased. Loki grinned, pressing their lips together. Synn tossed her free hand around his neck, running her fingers through his hair. Loki held her tightly to him as they kissed, neither wanting to end their passionate embrace.

When they broke apart, their breaths coming fast, they couldn’t keep the smiles off their faces. Whether or not their vows were official meant nothing at that moment, it was the two of them together against the world, and that was all that mattered.

“Normally we’d wait until we were in private to consummate the marriage,” Loki had a wolfish grin on his face as he slowly untied their arms, “but seeing as there's no one else around, I’d say why waste any more time?”

“But what would the people say if they found their prince in such a compromising position?” Synn asked sarcastically, acting up her scandalized expression.

“I don’t care, I’m at a beautiful sunset with my even more beautiful wife who I want nothing more than to spend the night with.” Loki held her chin in his hand, tilting her mouth back up to his.

“If you insist, husband.” Synn gave in to his touch, needing no more prompting. She treasured this moment, their love pure and full, as they embraced under the stars. It had been perfect, everything she could have dreamed of and more. It was their ceremony, important to only them, and would remain their little secret, something special for the two of them to cherish together. After everything that had happened in the past year, Synn would not have changed a second of it as long as it meant that she got to end up here, vulnerable and content in the arms of the man she loved.

Notes:

The next 6 chapters should be up much quicker! I'm now done with my move and I was able to do my first edits of all of them.
We are getting into the exciting stuff soon!! Thor 1 starts next chapter :)

Chapter 15

Summary:

Synn and Loki have some disagreements

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been many long years since Synn and Loki had married secretly. Long years that Synn would not trade for the world. She got to be with the man she loved and there was nothing that could change that. She felt strong in their relationship, their trust, she knew who Loki was, the mischievous and trickster side that he showed to everyone else, but also his softer, more vulnerable side as well. Synn knew what people thought of him, she knew they didn’t hate him, but they clearly preferred his more boisterous brother.

However, she couldn’t help but feel her heart flutter as he interacted with Asta’s newly adopted children. While he may not be dotting or overly affectionate with them, the soft smile he got on his face when he thought no one was looking said all that she needed to know. The twins adored Loki, his magic never failed to bring a smile to their faces. They were still young and did not quite grasp Loki’s status and were not afraid to climb all over him and tackle him to the ground every time they visited.

They were happy and Synn felt whole. While Odin had never warmed up to her, he had lessened his disdain for her and had let up on Loki as well. She liked to think it was thanks to her confrontation with him. While he had never given them his blessing, he had started to invite Synn to the occasional family dinner, an event that Loki had refused to go to had she not been welcome. Thor was as he always was, loud and affectionate, and Synn was relieved that she never had to doubt his intentions. While Loki would get annoyed with Thor for his boyish attitude, Synn knew he appreciated his brother immediately welcoming Synn into the family. Synn suspected that Frigga also had a hand in Odin’s small change of heart and she couldn’t thank her enough for it. Frigga was truly a force to be reckoned with and Synn deeply admired her for it.

As Thor’s coronation drew closer, Synn could feel Loki growing more and more upset. She knew of his jealousy of Thor, that he felt his father favoured his eldest son. To Loki this coronation only proved his point. Synn would listen and validate his concerns, but she worried that this would only further drive a wedge between the two brothers. Loki loved Thor, and Thor cared very deeply for his brother as well, but these deep seated, drawn out types of jealousy could turn the best of relationships sour.

When Synn woke up the morning of the coronation, Loki was nowhere to be found. His side of the bed was cold to her touch and he was not there when breakfast was brought to her either. She saved him some food from the tray, got dressed, and prepared to go find him. Normally, Synn would not have worried over Loki’s early morning disappearance, it would happen from time to time when duty called, but he had been acting strange last night. He had a nervous energy to him that he was clearly trying to hide. Synn had thought it was about the coronation and had not pushed when he had said that he was fine, but now she was wishing she had.
When she opened the bedroom door she jumped when she almost ran face first into the familiar arms of Loki.

“Synn!” He said, surprised to see her in such a hurry. “I did not expect to see you up so early.”

Synn’s brow furrowed. Loki’s nervous energy was gone, having been replaced with the kind of smugness it normally is when he is up to something. She looked at him quizzically, trying to get a better reading on him. She got nothing.

“Its after breakfast,” Synn pointed out. “And when I woke up and you weren’t there I was worried.”

“No need to worry about me, my love, there are many duties to perform today for the coronation and I simply lost track of time.” Loki held her face gently and gave her a small kiss.

“Well you had better get in here then, I’ve saved you some food and you don’t want it to get cold!” Synn tugged Loki’s hand and led him inside.

“Whatever would I do without you looking out for me, Synn.” Loki pulled her into a warm embrace once the doors had closed behind them.

“Perish, probably,” Synn smirked, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her, closing the distance between their lips. It wasn’t long before Synn could feel him lead her towards their bed and pulled back with a laugh.

“Loki Odinson.” She playfully slapped his shoulder. “We do not have time for that, how would it look if we were to show up to the coronation looking unkempt?”

“No one would have to know, what good is my illusory magic if we can’t use it for times like this?” Loki said, a mischievous grin crossing his face. Synn cupped his cheek and gave him one last kiss before pulling away, as tempting as it was and as happy as she was to see Loki in higher spirits, now was most certainly not the time.

“You must eat, we both have duties to attend to soon.” Synn handed Loki the food she had kept for him. “But we can finish this later.”

Synn gave Loki her best sultry look, though she was unable to keep the smile off her face.

“As you wish.” Loki winked at her before she straightened her dress and left the bedroom, looking back at Loki one more time before heading out, she had business to attend to.

The coronation itself did not go as planned. Synn had been in the front row of the crowd. As she was not an official part of the Royal Family she was not allowed to be up on the steps with them, but she was allowed a front-row seat. That was fine with her, she was never much for the stares of thousands of people.

The crowd had cheered loudly for Thor as he charismatically pranced down the walkway. Synn had briefly looked up at Loki, expecting him to be at least slightly amused by his brother’s antics, but finding instead Loki starring at his brother with a steely-eyed gaze that she had seen before. He must have been covering up his feelings that morning, his jealousy was still very clear and on display.

However, just before Thor was set to be crowned king, Odin paused in his speech and whispered, “Frost Giants.” Before stamping his staff on the ground.

The whole palace was in an uproar, Loki started towards Synn, seeing the panic bloom on her face before Frigga stopped him and whispered something in his ear. Loki gave Synn one last look of longing before following his father and Thor. Before Synn could get too panicked, Frigga had descended the steps and pulled her away from the crowd.

“Frost Giants in Asgard?” Synn whispered to herself, unable to process what was going on, and looking up to share a worried look with Frigga.

Synn didn’t like to admit it, but after her parent’s death at the hands of the Frost Giants, Synn found herself more frightened of them than she would have liked. Everything she had heard about them was awful, that they were huge, aggressive, and would not hesitate to snap her in half.

The crowd disbanded and Synn followed Frigga out of the room.

“How would Frost Giants get into Asgard? I thought that was impossible.” Synn asked.

“So did I,” Frigga said, comforting Synn with a small squeeze to her shoulder. Frigga was aware of how her parents died, she wasn’t sure how she had found out, but at that moment Synn was grateful that she did.

“I’m sure they will figure it out,” Frigga assured her. The two women walked the rest of the way in silence, finally reaching Synn and Loki’s room.

“Thank you, for walking me back. You didn’t have to.” Synn blushed a little, she was embarrassed at how frightened she felt. Synn looked down at her feet, not able to look the other woman in the eyes. Frigga gently lifted her chin until Synn looked at her, giving her a kind smile.

“I am here for you, should you need it,” Frigga promised before dropping Synn’s hand and walking away. Synn went into her room and sat down on the bed. She decided she would wait there, for now, she had no expertise to offer in fighting or political strategy on how to deal with the intrusion. She thought it would be better for everyone’s sake if she just stayed out of the way. Synn tried to read one of her dad’s old gardening books to take her mind off of it, but she found she could not concentrate, and she kept having to re-read pages that she had missed. She could recite these books word for word now anyways, reading them was more of a physical comfort. Holding the books made her feel closer to her parents and calmed her down, which was something she needed at that moment.

After a few hours passed Synn started to get worried, where was Loki? She should probably go check on him, but she didn’t have any idea where to start looking. She walked to the balcony, looking out across the palace and towards the Bifrost. To her surprise she saw a group of people on horsebacks, only small specs to her from this distance, travelling quickly back towards Asgard. She could make out one horse that was much larger than the rest, leading the pack. Odin’s horse. Her heart sank, she had a bad feeling about it. They were coming back from somewhere, but where could they have gone if not Jotunheim? Synn rushed out of the room and walked quickly to meet them in the palace courtyard. There she met up with Frigga who was waiting anxiously with a group of guards.

“What happened?” Synn asked when she got close.

“Thor, Loki, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three went to Jotunheim, against Odin’s wishes,” Frigga explained, dread filling her voice. They had broken the peace treaty and that could only mean war was upon them. The last war with the Frost Giants had taken her parents, what would this one take from her?

Odin arrived first, his face set in an angry grimace, clearly upset with the actions of his sons. Next was Loki, his face impassive as if set in stone. She was frightened of that look, though not for herself, she feared what it meant for Loki.

The Warriors Three came last, carrying the injured body of Fandral up with them. Synn looked behind them, expecting to see Thor among the group as well, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is Thor?” Frigga asked as Odin got down off of his horse. Odin turned to look at his wife, his voice monotone, not allowing any emotion to creep in.

“Thor has been banished to Midgard until he can prove that he is the king he was meant to be. Until then, war with the Frost Giants is upon us. We must prepare.” Odin took his wife’s hand and walked towards the palace.

Synn tried to make eye contact with Loki, but he would not look at her. He starred at his father as he left, a dangerous look crossing his face. She walked up to him where he sat still upon his horse.

“Loki?” She asked, worry in her voice. He did not answer her, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

“Loki.” She tried again, this time more forcefully. She reached out to touch his ankle. He jumped slightly at her touch but retained his composure. It was only Synn who noticed his surprise.

“Are you alright?” Synn asked, knowing that he was not, but at a loss as to what else to ask.

“Of course,” He said, jumping down off his horse, “You know me, I’m not so easily beat by a race of brutes.” The venom was clear in his voice.

“I didn’t mean physically.” Synn lowered her voice so that no one around them could hear. Loki didn’t look at her as he strode forward.

“I have some things to attend to. I will see you later tonight.” He shot out, before leaving her standing there next to his recently abandoned horse. She felt worry building in her chest. She knew something was wrong before the coronation, but this was different. He had never ignored her like this before. She figured it must be because of Thor’s banishment, perhaps he blamed himself? She would talk with him later, he must just be worried about others overhearing them. He had an image to maintain. Though she had a feeling it was more than that.

Synn spent the rest of the day in her garden, she felt calm there, tending to her plants. They were so much simpler than the rest of palace life tended to be. Feeling better by the time dinner rolled around, she headed back to her room. She had hoped that Loki would join her there, but when dinner arrived at her door, he was nowhere to be found. He did not come back at all that night. She waited as long as she could, sitting in her sleeping dress, alone on their big bed. She could feel her eyes slowly drift close, thoughts of her husband and where he might be worrying her mind. Yet she was exhausted from the excitement of the day, she felt so much had changed and yet so little. It was an odd state of being, and when she fell asleep, her nightmares plagued her, bringing horrible visions of the death of her parents, and the loss of the man she loved more than Asgard itself.

The door to her bedroom opened quietly at the first sign of dawn, had Synn been sleeping normally she likely would have slept through the noise. Yet Synn woke up, her sleep having been light and erratic. She sat up quickly in bed feeling exhausted, the bags under her eyes causing her to look as tired as she felt.

When she saw Loki walk through the door she felt a rush of relief.

“Loki, where have you been?” She asked, getting out of bed and walking over to him. He was in his full ceremonial garb and had that same impassive look on his face that he had had the day before.

“I’ve come to inform you that my father has fallen into the Odin sleep. I have taken up the mantle of King in his absence and since my mother refuses to leave his side, you are to take up her duties as queen.” Loki said, his hand clasped behind his back. His expression did not change.

“Queen?” Synn asked, still rubbing her eyes to rid herself of her sleepy feeling.

“Yes. There will be an attendant here in an hour to run you through what is expected of you.” He explained, turning around to leave.
“Wait a moment.” Synn reached out to grab his arm and stop him. He looked sharply at her hand on his arm but said nothing.

“Did you say your father was in the Odin sleep?” Synn asked. Loki nodded, still looking at where her hand met his arm.

“They are unsure if he will wake.” He explained. Synn sighed.

“Loki, look at me,” Synn commanded though her voice was kind. Loki did not move.

“Please.” She added. After a moment’s hesitation, Loki turned in her direction but did not look her in the eyes. She went to speak, but her eyes kept getting distracted by the large headpiece he was wearing. She reached up to take it off but stopped when he flinched away from her touch. Synn dropped her hands in defeat. She knew he was upset about the loss of his brother and father, but she did not know why he refused to be near her or would flinch at her touch.

“When did this happen?” Synn asked.

“Yesterday evening,” Loki said coolly. Synn's mouth fell open. He had kept it from her all night, why would he keep something like that from her? She was confused but pushed forward, there was something else going on here and she needed to figure out what.

“I know how upsetting this must be, you’ve lost two people who are close to you, and while they are still alive, they have left you to deal with the burden of King, but you are not alone. I am still here. Please, do not block me out.” Synn all but begged, wanting so badly to reach out to him, but knowing it was not wanted.

“I’m not upset.” Loki spit, his face twisting into a frown. “I’m… forget it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, not upset, but maybe angry?” Synn tried. Loki did not speak but did not deny his anger either.

“It’s alright to be angry, your relationship with your father is complicated. Whatever you are feeling about that is valid. Yet I can’t help but feel that there is something you aren’t telling me, and I won’t make you but you know that you can if you want to, right? I will always be here for you.” Synn promised. She couldn’t force him to open up to her and she knew that this wasn’t about her, she just had to keep reminding herself to be strong, if not for herself then for Loki.

“Do you, Synn, do you really know me?” Loki sneered, the same venom in his voice that she had heard the day before. Synn flinched back as though she had been slapped.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Synn asked, hurt clear in her voice. She was used to him shutting down when he was angry or upset, but he had not lashed out at her like this in a long time.
“Forget it, I have things to do,” Loki mumbled, once again trying to leave.

“No!” Synn shouted, no longer able to contain herself. “You are allowed to feel however you are feeling, but you are not allowed to treat me this way!”

Synn’s eyes flashed with anger. She felt hot tears starting to run down her cheeks. She was sure she looked foolish, crying like a little girl in her nightdress, her hair likely sticking up in strange places. She was a mess but she did not care, she did not have the energy for it.

“You have been ignoring me, which I can handle, I know you are dealing with a lot, but you have also been treating me like I’m some sort of idiot. Like I don’t know who you are or what you do. We’ve been married for hundreds of years and friends for hundreds more, I know you better than I know myself. Just because you are hurt does not mean you can hurt me too.” Synn’s throat clenched as she held back a sob. She hated that she cried when she was angry, but there was no controlling the waves of emotions flooding through her.

“You should not be this upset” Loki took a step back from her.

“Why would I not be? You’ve insulted me, made me feel horrible for trying to be there for you, and on top of that, I’m terrified that Frost Giants were able to get into the palace. You know they killed my parents, you must know how terrifying it is to come that close to them?”

Something Synn could not identify passed across Loki’s face.

“Yes.”

They stood in silence for a moment, Synn was no longer sure what else to say.

“Are you finished?” Loki asked, disdain in his voice. Synn clenched her fists into balls and ground her teeth but said nothing, tears still streaming down her face.

“Good, then I will see you in the throne room later this morning,” Loki said.

Synn looked at him incredulously. “And pretend as though nothing has happened? No, I will not.”

“You will do as I say!” Loki yelled, Synn once again flinching back at his unexpected reaction.

“I am your King and we are not married, it was a child’s farce, it meant nothing, so you do not have any say in this. Now listen to my command or suffer the consequences.” He growled, leaning close to her face. All the fight left Synn’s body, Loki had never yelled at her before. She felt herself shutting down, putting up her walls to protect her feelings. Her head buzzed as she started to shake. Did he mean what he had just said about their marriage? Synn knew it wasn’t official, but it had been real to her. She had thought it meant as much to him as it meant to her, was she mistaken? Had she been too caught up in her love to realize that Loki did not feel the same?

Loki started to leave the room for the third time, however this time, Synn did not stop him. She stood there in defeat, her tears stopping as a hollow feeling filled her chest.

“Who are you?” She asked as Loki opened the door to leave, all the hurt and desperation filling her voice.

“Who I’ve always been.” He answered, closing the door firmly behind himself.

Synn collapsed onto her knees, sitting there in silence for what felt like years but was only a few minutes. She felt the confusion, the hurt, the anger building back in her chest until she could no longer contain it. With a scream, she grabbed the plate she had saved Loki from the night before and threw it against the wall where it shattered, along with the rest of her heart.

Notes:

Let me know what you think!
I'm very excited for the next chapters!!! I'm sorry this took so long, I really didn't like what I had planned so I changed a bunch up but I'm back now and I'll be posting more soon.

Chapter 16

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When the attendant found Synn she was sitting beside the broken plate, her head in her hands, and her eyes red and puffy from crying. She did not look up when they came in, she barely even registered that someone was there. When a hand rested on her shoulder she jumped, whipping her head around to see who it was. The girl, who had knelt to Synn’s height, made an apologetic face at her.

“I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t mean to intrude, but I’ve been instructed by the King to help you get ready.” She explained. Synn blinked, unsure of what to do. She did not want to cooperate with Loki, but the blame for her lack of cooperation would fall upon the shoulders of this poor girl. With the way Loki treated the woman he supposedly loved, she worried about how he would treat those he did not care for in the same way.

“What’s your name?” Synn asked. She had seen this girl around the palace before, but she was new and rather young, no more than 20 years old. She had straight black hair that reminded her of Asta, and kind brown eyes that fit her round face.

“Eir, ma’am.” She said.

“Thank you, Eir, and please, call me Synn.” Synn rasped, her voice hoarse from crying.

“If it’s not out of place for me to ask, and please tell me if it is, are you alright? I think you’ve cut yourself a little.” Eir reached out to wipe a dab of dried blood off Synn’s cheek. Synn touched her face, feeling a small cut, likely from the flying shards of the broken plate. She hadn’t even felt it.

“I will be.” Synn picked herself up off the floor. The two women set to work on cleaning her up. Her hair was a mess as usual, but her tossing and turning the night before had made many extra knots which meant she would have to wash it to get them out. Eir drew her a bath and picked out her clothes while Synn washed herself. The bath was calming and helped her feel more awake. She had taken her moment to wallow in self-pity, now was the time where she would have to take action. She knew she was still missing a lot of pieces, and while she was not ready to forgive Loki quite yet, she knew that she had to get to the bottom of this.

Once she had gotten dried and dressed, Eir escorted her out of her room and towards the Throne Room where she assumed Loki was waiting for her. As she approached she saw a familiar group, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif leaving the throne room, muttering between each other. Lady Sif looked over in her direction, face brightening when she spotted her. She departed from her companions and jogged over to where Synn was approaching.

“Synn,” Sif greeted with a small bow. “May I speak with you? Alone.”

Sif looked at Eir who in turn looked at Synn.

“I am supposed to ensure you make it to King Loki.” Eir said, sounding nervous.

“It’s alright,” Synn placed her hand on Eir’s shoulder. “You stand close to the entrance and I will meet you there, we will be down the hallway where you can still see us.”

“Thank you.” Eir’s shoulders relaxed, relief in her voice. Synn felt sympathy for the girl and worried for the amount of fear Loki had instilled in her.

Synn and Sif walked down the hallway until they were out of earshot.

“Something is wrong with Loki, he’s always been jealous of Thor, and I mean no disrespect, but he’s taken it too far, the longer Thor is on Midgard to more danger he is in,” Sif whispered urgently.

“He wouldn’t hurt Thor, they have their differences but they do love each other, I know that for sure.” Synn was sure of this. She had seen it time and time again, even though they were always teasing each other, it was clearly out of love. Loki could be jealous of Odin’s blatant favouritism, but he cared for his brother.

“He won’t undo Thor’s banishment.” Sif explained, “If there is to be a war, why would Loki not want his strongest fighter here on Asgard? I fear he has selfish purposes.”

Synn tried not to bristle at that; the Warriors Three and Lady Sif had never trusted or accepted Loki in the same way Thor did, and as angry as she was at him, she still had a strong need to defend him. However, now was not the time.

“I’m afraid I don’t know how I can help. He normally comes to me with everything, or at least he would sit with me, but now he won’t even look at me.” Synn looked down at her feet and her voice breaking. Loki’s actions that morning hurt more than she cared to admit. Sif took Synn’s hand in hers.

“I’m sorry that he has hurt you in his scramble for power, but we need your help, if anyone has a chance of finding out what he is doing it is you. Please, not just for Thor, but for Loki too. This could be a path that he can’t come back from.”

Synn took a deep breath and nodded.

“I will do what I can, I haven’t given up on him yet.” She said, meeting Sif’s eyes once more. “Did something happen on Jotunheim? He was upset before the coronation, but I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“There was nothing that I saw that could explain this behaviour, as far as I know he wasn’t hurt at all.” Sif shrugged. Synn sighed, she had hoped Sif would have known more, once again it was up to her to figure out what had happened to Loki and how to console him. She didn’t mind, but when he shut her out it was difficult to find a way in.

“I will try my best, but I can’t guarantee anything,” Synn promised, a sad smile on her face.

“Thank you.” Sif squeezed Synn’s hand before walking back in the direction the Warrior’s Three left.

Synn took a moment to steel herself, she would need all her strength to get through this.

Walking back towards the Throne Room she met Eir outside. They both gave a nod of acknowledgment before making their way inside.

The interior was the same as it had always been, gold lining everything, and in the center was a large golden throne. Though this time instead of Odin, Loki sat upon the throne, sprawled out so he could take up as much space as possible. Synn thought he looked a little ridiculous, many others would view this as a power move, something to assert his dominance, but Synn knew better. He was overcompensating for his lack of belief in himself. He talked a big game and was great at masking his insecurities behind his silver tongue, but she knew him better than that.

“Lady Synn, my King.” Eir presented Synn with a deep bow, keeping her head down towards the floor when she stood back up.

“That will be all.” Loki gave Eir a dismissive wave. Eir turned around to leave, but not before shooting a worried look at Synn. Synn tried to convey in her facial expressions that she would be fine but was not sure if Eir understood. When Eir was gone, Loki stood up from his throne and waved for her to come closer.

“I like her, can you please make sure she is sufficiently rewarded?” Synn asked as she walked up the steps towards the throne, pausing in front of Loki, his eyes still guarded towards her.

“She’s just a servant.” Loki raised an eyebrow.

“And I was just a gardener, yet you’ve been with me for hundreds of years.” Synn pointed out.

“That was different,” Loki grumbled.

“Was it?” Synn challenged him. Loki said nothing. Synn shook her head in disappointment.

“I’d like to speak with your mother,” Synn said, she had thought of a plan hastily after talking with Lady Sif. If anyone knew what was going on with Loki it was his mother, there was no hiding anything from her.

“She is not to be disturbed, she is with my father.” Loki brushed her off.

“Please, Loki, if I am to take up her duties I must know what they are. I know she has servants who help her, but I want to be the most effective I can be.” Synn pleaded.

“I said no.” Loki dismissed, but Synn was not going to give up that easily.

“My king,” Synn said with a curtsy, “what is the point of having a Queen if she is not able to do her work to the fullest, what would people think of us if I cannot at least partially fill the shoes of Frigga in her absence.”

Synn knew she was manipulating him, picking on the insecurity of his subjects not seeing him as a fit king. She could feel bad about it later, for now, she needed to talk with Frigga. Loki sighed disdainfully.

“Make it quick.” Loki snapped, avoiding her gaze.

“Thank you, my love,” Synn said. perhaps she was laying it on too thick, yet she did not care, she had gotten what she wanted. Eir was called back in to escort her to Odin’s chamber where he slept under the watchful eye of Frigga. Eir stayed outside the door while Synn slipped inside.
In the center of the gold-coloured room was a large bed, a translucent, shimmering, golden top covering the restful form of the most powerful being in all of Asgard, Odin. Beside him, Frigga sat, holding his hand. She looked up when Synn entered the room, and held her hand out for the younger woman. Synn quickly walked over, holding onto Frigga’s hand with both of hers, like a lifeline.

“I am so sorry I did not get here sooner, I’m afraid I was only informed this morning.” Synn rambled her apology.

“You are here now, and that is what is important,” Frigga assured, patting Synn’s hands.

“Sit down, it looks like we have much to discuss.” Frigga let go of Synn and patted the seat beside her. Synn nodded and took the seat. She hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“It’s Loki,” She started. “I’m worried about him.”

“He does have quite the burden to bear now that he must take up his father’s position, and with Thor gone, I fear he has little support, other than you.” Frigga cast her eyes back to her husband.

“That’s the problem, he is distant towards me, angry and bitter, I’ve never seen him like this. It feels like something more than the burden of the throne.” Synn pressed. Frigga looked back to her, her eyes filled with a sad sort of kindness.

“I should have known.” Frigga pursed her lips. “We both know how Loki can be, he has always had these walls built up around himself and has rarely let anyone in. You are one of those people, I can see how much he cares for you, but I fear that that may be the cause of his actions towards you.”

“What do you mean?” Synn asked, a worried look on her face.

“It is not my place to tell you what has happened to my son, but you are right in that it is not just the throne that is bothering him. It seems he has decided to reject you before you can reject him.” Frigga said, the gentle tone still apparent in her voice.

“How could he think I would ever reject him? Surely I have shown that to him, he must know I love every part of him right?” Synn asked, desperation seeping into her voice. She understood why Frigga didn’t tell her what had happened, and she was grateful for the confirmation that something else was going on. Yet she wished she could know exactly what was going on it was extremely important.

“All you can do is remind him of that, he needs to come to you on his own, stubborn as he may be,” Frigga said.

“I just wish I could do more.” Synn put her head in her hands.

“All you can do is your best.” Frigga patted Synn’s back soothingly.

“I was supposed to come here and ask you for instructions on how to take over your duties while you are here. He wouldn’t let me come here otherwise,” Synn explained. Frigga smiled.

“Then we better get to work on your cover story.”

Synn had undertaken some of the Queen’s tasks with Eir by her side while she thought over their discussion. The staff noticed her clear distraction and much to Synn’s relief said nothing. After a few hours of contemplating, Synn marched back to the throne room and instructed Eir to take a break. Eir had protested, but Synn assured her that she would be fine and thanked her for her help. She had a new fire in her veins, she could feel the tension in the air as events had started to escalate in Asgard. She heard the whispers of the palace staff as she walked by, something was brewing, and everyone was fearful as to what it might be.

Synn took a moment to breathe, calming herself before she entered the room where Loki was waiting. She was still hurt from that morning, the words he had said still ringing in her ears, but after her talk with Frigga, she knew that they were not as a result of her. For now, she needed to plow ahead, she had an important role to play and nothing would stop her now. For Loki, she would do anything.

“Loki.” Synn greeted when she reached the steps to the throne where he sat.

“Synn, I hear you have been successful in taking over in my mother’s absence.” He said, looking uninterestedly at his fingers.

“Yes, the talk with your mother was very helpful, thank you for allowing me that.”
Loki said nothing and continued to avoid her gaze.

“I must speak with you, there is something that has come up that I believe needs both of our attention.” Synn pushed forward, anxiety rising in her stomach.

“Go ahead.” Loki waved his hand in indication for her to speak, still avoiding her gaze.

“In private,” Synn added. She knew that in the throne room there would be no getting through to him, she needed to bring him somewhere where they were both on the same level.

Loki finally looked at her, scrutinizing her, like he was trying to find any hint of deception.

“Please, I need your help.” Synn pleaded.

“Very well.” Loki sighed in exasperation. Synn tried to brush that off, he was not himself, she knew he would not have ever been uninterested in spending time with her before.
They walked in tense silence, an almost palpable electricity filling the air between them. Synn wanted nothing more than to reach out to hold his hand but knew that would not be welcome.
They arrived at a balcony close by. The view was beautiful, the large golden pillars led out to showcase the sprawling hills of the city down below, the sun slowly setting over the edge of the water, the Bifrost in the centre of it all, showing off the majesty of Asgard’s design. Synn did not take much time to look, instead, she focused her sights on Loki who had trailed behind her as she walked to the edge of the balcony. Synn turned around, fixing Loki with her best strong gaze. Loki rolled his eyes.

“What is it that was so important we had to come out here?” He asked, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

“You, Loki. You’ve not only blocked me out, but you’ve treated me and those around you like dirt beneath your shoe. This is not who you are.” Synn mirrored Loki’s stance. Loki groaned in frustration.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I am fine?” He asked rhetorically, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No matter how many times you tell me I won’t believe you.” Synn shot back. Loki growled and opened his mouth to speak before Synn interrupted him.

“No, I am not done speaking yet.” Synn’s tone was forceful and stern. Loki paused, surprised to see her taking this stance. He had thought she would have acted similarly to how she did that morning, angry tears allowing him an easier time to push against her.

“You hurt me.” Synn started, “And I know that it is because you are hurting, whether you deny it or not, but that doesn’t mean that I have to accept it. If you think I’m just going to lay down and let you continue this path of self-destruction, you are wrong.”

“Synn, I do not have time for this.” Loki turned to leave just like he had done that morning. Synn reached out and grabbed his hand, firmly, before he could fully turn around. This time she wasn’t going to let go.

“What happened on Jotunheim? I spoke with your mother, she would not tell me what you went through, but she confirmed that you are hiding something from me. I can see these walls you’ve built, did you think I wouldn’t notice?” Synn asked, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.

Loki scoffed, “Nothing of your concern happened on Jotunheim, now if you do not mind I have some very important matters to attend to.”

“I am not letting you leave.” Synn steeled herself, ready to hold on as best as she could.

“It’s for the best. You don’t need me.” Loki looked up to meet Synn’s fierce gaze. His eyes had softened, a sadness filling the empty space behind them.

“You do not get to decide that for me. I have made it clear that I am capable of making my own decisions, I am in charge of my life, not you, not anyone else.” Synn reached up to touch Loki’s cheek. This time he did not flinch away, she had finally worn him down, brought down some of the walls that had been put up overnight.

“Loki, I love you with all my heart, I can tell when you are in pain, please let me in, have I not shown you time and time again that I am on your side no matter what?” Synn asked. Loki looked at her, a helpless look in his eyes, he was scared, scared of her reaction to whatever it was he deemed too horrible to tell her.

“Nothing will change how I feel about you.” Synn pryed at his continued silence. They stared at each other, Synn trying to convey her support, and Loki trying to decide if he should give Synn news that could shatter their relationship. Loki closed his eyes tight, he knew if he didn’t tell her and continued to keep her at arm’s length that their relationship would not last. While that was an outcome he could control, as he looked into his wife’s pleading eyes, he knew he had to trust her. She had been with him for so long, she deserved to know the truth. He could only hope that she would not run screaming.

“On Jotunheim, I -“ Loki started before snapping his head to look at something behind Synn. In a moment, Synn watched as the vulnerability she had unearthed in Loki disappeared back under the emotionless gaze he had worn all day. All of her work, gone in an instant.

“No!” He yelled, dropping her hands and gripping her arms tightly. Synn squirmed under his grip.

“You’ve distracted me! You were working with them to overthrow me weren’t you?” Loki shouted, shaking her slightly.

“I- I don’t understand!” Synn shouted back in panic, looking behind her at the source of Loki’s anger. She saw the Bifrost as it closed, shutting the rainbow bridge. She did not understand what that meant, or why Loki was so angry about it. She did not know what to do. She wished she could have heard what he was about to say, but wishing would get her nowhere now. Frustrated with her lack of answer, Loki let her go harshly, causing her to fumble back a few steps.

“You’re just like the rest of them, you can’t be trusted. You will stay here until I come to get you.” Loki demanded, striding away before Synn could follow. He waved his hands across the opening from the balcony to the castle, a glittery green wall forming under his fingertips. It stretched from ceiling to floor, Loki standing on the other side. Synn walked up to the barrier, putting her hand flat on it.

“If you do not believe or trust me then there is nothing I can do to help you. There is only so much of your hurt that I can bear before I lose myself in it.” Synn could feel an empty sadness fill her chest and her lip start quivering.

Loki said nothing, looking away from her.

“You are beyond even my reach and I pray that you will come back to me before things get more out of hand than they already are.” Synn choked back a sob, tears leaking slowly out of her eyes.

“I don’t need your help.” Loki spat, his eyes burning with anger.

“We both know that is a lie.” Synn laughed humorlessly before turning around and walking towards the balcony, her hand slowly slipping off the barrier. If she had turned around she would have seen Loki, the anger in his eyes had softened into sadness, reaching out as if to meet her hand before pulling away and leaving Synn on her own, staring out over the balcony.
Synn had tried calling for help once Loki was gone, but either no one could hear her, or everyone was busy. She guessed it was Loki’s magic at work. She watched from her perch as a figure she assumed was Loki galloped on horseback across the bridge, towards the Bifrost. It was so far away the figures were like dots in the distance. She could not make out what had gone on when Loki reached the Bifrost, but the rainbow bridge opened and multiple, much larger figures strode out. It took her a moment to identify what they were; Frost Giants. Synn’s heart was racing, what was Loki doing with a group of Frost Giants and why had he brought them to Asgard? She couldn’t make sense of it, is this why he had shut her out? Because he knows how afraid of Frost Giants she is?

She paced as she waited, checking the corridor towards the balcony on occasion to see if anyone was nearby. She had no such luck. When she thought she couldn’t take it much longer she was surprised that the Bifrost opened once more, a figure flying through the air towards the castle. As the figure got closer she recognized Thor, in his full armour, harmer held out in front of him, guiding him to where he needed to go.

Synn called and waved at him, hoping he would see her, but he flew straight ahead, not once losing focus of his sight on the palace entrance. Synn hung halfheartedly over the railing. She hated this, feeling useless and trapped. She didn’t know any magic, nor any physical way to fight. She was stuck in the palace like a damsel in distress and she could not stand the thought of it. She hadn’t had any need for fighting skills before this, everything in her life had been relatively peaceful, and she had thought she could rely on Loki if anything were to happen. She had come to realize that she needed to be more reliant on herself, no one could save her now. She would have to figure something out. Yet the ground was a long way down, and even if she could tear up and tie her dress into a rope, there was no way she would make it that far.
Synn sunk onto the floor, her hopelessness consuming her. She had no idea what was happening Thor had been in a hurry, and she still had no idea why Loki was acting the way he was. She was deep in thought, her head resting on top of her bent knees when she heard the sound of the Bifrost grow louder and louder, more than she had ever been able to hear it before. She had never heard it from the palace before.

Synn jumped up to watch as the Bifrost was left open, splitting the sky with the raw magical power of it. She could see the Bifrost start to quake, unable to handle the sheer amount of power flowing through it. She was too far away to see anything other than Thor once more flying down the bridge towards the Bifrost. She watched, barely able to see as Thor flew into the Bifrost, disappearing in the golden circle. Synn waited, anxiously wringing her hands.
She watched as two figures fought, one being Thor who she’d seen just moments earlier, and the other she could guess was Loki. She watched with bated breath as they fought, unable to tell who was winning, their forms blurring together from the distance she had been forced to stay at.

Her mouth parted in shock as she watched Thor crack the rainbow bridge with the sheer strength of his hammer. The bridge broke with the weight of the Bifrost, no longer able to sustain the large spinning globe. The Bifrost plunged off the side of the planet as the bridge itself shattered, light bursting from the fissures and causing a huge explosion of light and noise. She watched helplessly, a cry escaping her throat as another figure who Synn could tell was Odin due to his giant horse, moved at the speed of lightning towards the brothers. Synn’s heart was beating hard in her chest, unable to see where Loki had gone, Odin reaching down over the edge of the now destroyed rainbow bridge. She watched in horror as Odin pulled up the person he had been holding, the flash of his red cape all Synn needed to know it was Thor. What had happened to Loki? She saw no third figure standing on the bridge. She started to shake as the reality of the situation set in. If Loki had been launched in the explosion and sent in the same direction as Thor then that would mean he had fallen off of Asgard and into the nothingness below.

Without thinking, Synn ran back towards the inside of the palace, having forgotten in her panic the wall that Loki had placed there. It took her until she rounded a corner in the hallway, her legs taking her as fast as they could, that she noticed she hadn’t been stopped by his magic.
Her breath left her as she realized what that meant. Loki was either so far out of reach in the corners of space that he couldn’t keep his magic up or he was dead. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she fell to her knees, grief filling up her chest and spilling out of her mouth. She screamed, unable to contain her despair, and unable to hear anything but the ringing in her ears. She sobbed, her heart shattering into what felt like a million pieces, their last conversation repeating itself over and over in her head. If only she’d done more or had more time, she wouldn’t be alone, kneeling with her face down and her hands gripping her hair, trying desperately to grab onto something, anything to ground herself.

That was where they found her, eyes puffy and red, tears never ceasing their fall down her cheeks. She had no more voice left, and even if she did she didn’t know what she would say. She was surprised to see Eir kneeling beside her, patting her back softly, cooing gentle words to her as she came back to the present. Synn was thankful for her calming presence, and with the help of another guard, she was able to bring herself to stand on her shaky legs. She leaned against Eir, letting the woman guide her forward. As they walked Synn realized that she desperately needed to know what exactly had happened. She was still missing that piece, the one that Loki had almost told her before he’d locked her away. She needed to find someone who could tell her, she needed to find Thor.

With a renewed sense of purpose and a small spark of hope in her heart she tried not to let spread, Eir led her to find her brother-in-law. It was not long before she saw the familiar shape of Thor in the distance, walking out of the throne room. He was dressed in his casual clothes, armour no longer on. He was a good distance away, but from his sullen stance, Synn could tell that there was not going to be even a sliver of good news. The hope died in her heart as she called out for him, her voice hoarse and dry, barely above whispering volume. He turned towards her, walking quickly in her direction. As he got closer she could see a distraught look on his face and his eyes were lined with red. Synn choked back a sob, her lip quivering. What could have happened to make everything go so horribly so quickly?

Thor swept her up, releasing Eir’s hold on her, without a single word. Synn clung to him, barely able to speak.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” She asked, voice wavering. Thor only squeezed her harder, his head nodding against hers. With that confirmation, Synn could not hold back her sobs any longer and let them ring free. She could feel Thor’s breath hitch against her, he was trying to be strong, as he always was, but Synn knew that now was not the time for burying his feelings. She slowly calmed down her sobs, though she was unable to stop the constant flow of tears down her face. She pulled back out of his grasp to look up at him.

“You must let yourself grieve too.” She stated, giving him a sad, quivering smile. Thor nodded, looking down at the floor. Synn steeled herself, using the last of her strength to take his hand and lead them away from the Throne room. She had to lean on him during the walk, still not having the strength to stand on her own. She nodded her thanks to Eir before she left, she would have to make sure that girl got the recognition she deserved.

They made their way to Synn’s room, Thor opening the door for her. Synn felt her heart drop as she looked around the room, the signs that Loki had so recently been there scattered about. His clothes were folded on the dresser and the bed rumpled from where she had sat waiting for him. The food she had saved for him was still sitting on the table under a cloth.

She sat down at the breakfast table, motioning for Thor to sit opposite her. He looked so large sitting in the small chair meant for Loki’s smaller frame that she would have laughed had she had any bit of mirth left in her. She took Thor’s hands in hers, their sad eyes meeting, both conveying the deep loss they felt.

“What happened? I still feel like I’m missing so much, why was he acting so distant and angry?” She asked, her voice searching. Thor sighed, pulling his hands back to rub his face tiredly.

“Our father kept a secret from him, from all of us. Only he and mother knew.” Thor started, his voice low, anger filling in the gaps where sadness could not. “Loki was taken as a baby by my father, from Jotunheim. He was Laufey’s son and they had abandoned him since he was so small. My father took pity on him and adopted him into our family.”

Thor had a pained look on his face as he briefly explained the reason for Loki’s distance.
Synn’s thoughts raced in her head, unable to make sense of it all. Loki had been a Frost Giant this entire time, the son of the man responsible for the death of her parents, yet he had not known. A new pain surfaced in her heart as she realized why he had hidden that from her. He had thought that she would reject him, hate him for what he was and what his race had done to her parents. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth, choking back another sob. That is what Frigga had meant, he was pushing her away out of fear of her doing that to him. She kicked herself for having brought up her fear of Frost Giants in their fight, it likely had only sealed his belief that she would leave him. She looked at Thor, despair in her eyes, Loki had died thinking she would not love him as he was. He could not have been more wrong, there was nothing he could do or be that would change how she felt. She had loved him for as long as she could remember, and while him being a Frost Giant was a shock, it would not have dampened her love in the slightest. If anything it had made her realize that there was more to that race than she had been led to believe.

“I did not find this out until after he…” Thor said, trailing off, pain and regret in his expression.

“You did everything you could, Thor. You’ve cared for him no matter how difficult he may have made it for you. Whether or not he denies it, I think that deep down he knew that.” Synn promised.

“Thank you for your kind words, Synn. I am truly sorry you had to find out about his origins this way.” Thor hung his head, sounding defeated.

“I appreciate that you told me, but I do wish he had known that him being a Frost Giant would not change how I feel about him. I wish he hadn’t pushed me away.” Synn put her head in her hands. The pain of the day was exhausting, she felt weak, like she may never be able to stand again, but she did not want to sleep. Sleeping would mean that she would be spending her first night alone without her husband, knowing he wasn’t on his way back from a battle, or that he would be coming to bed later. He would never be coming back to their bed again. The bed they had once shared looked large and intimidating where it stood in the middle of the room. Something that had been a source of comfort for so long had now turned into a source of strife.

“Loki has always had a different way of showing he cares, I think he was trying to protect you from the truth, he would have done anything to keep you out of harm’s way.” Thor expressed. Synn smiled ruefully.

“If only that hadn’t ended with more pain than I could have ever expected.” Synn shook her head.

There was a moment of silence, both trying to process the deep feelings of loss.

“We got married secretly, you know.” Synn blurted out, now that Loki was gone, there was no real reason to keep their secret. She couldn’t bear to be the only one who knew. “It wasn’t official, but we didn’t care. To me, he was my husband and I will never let your father take that from us.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised, he never did care for listening to father did he?” Thor smiled sadly.

“No, he didn’t.” Synn wiped tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you, Synn, for all you did for my brother. It gives me comfort to see you still care for him after all he has done.” Thor said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Synn quickly grabbed it, not ready to be alone.

“Please don’t go.” She begged. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to stay in this room on my own.”
Thor looked down at her, seeing the bags under her eyes and how pale she was, and knew he could not leave her alone like this. He would stay with her, for Loki of course, but also maybe a bit for himself. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he too did not want to be alone, and Synn was one of the only ones who would understand his grief, someone who had cared for Loki as deeply as he had, albeit a different kind of love.

“You are tired, you should get some rest,” Thor said. Synn tried to protest, still not ready to give in to sleep, but there was no stopping the God of Thunder as he lifted her up and onto her bed, sitting down beside her. He did not know it but he had placed her on Loki’s side, the smell of him still lingering on the pillow. She buried her face in, trying to hide in her memory of him. The bed cradled her, its softness letting her body give in to her exhaustion. Though her mind tried to fight it, she hadn’t had much sleep the night before, and after the events of that day, she could no longer fight it as her dreams called to her. She fell into an uneasy sleep, clinging to Thor as she did, needing to know someone was there, needing someone to help fill the emptiness growing inside her. Thor watched Synn, knowing that he was not going to be sleeping that night, whether he was here or in his room. At least here he was able to honour his brother’s memory and help the woman who he had come to view as family.

Notes:

Lots of emotions in this one! Let me know what you think :)

Chapter 17

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Thor had to leave early the next morning. There were many tasks he had to prepare in light of Loki’s recent attack on Asgard. Synn thanked him for staying, while her sleep had been fraught with nightmares surrounding her last moments with Loki, it had been a comfort to wake up and not find herself completely alone.

She roamed the room, unable to think straight as the events of the day before replayed over and over in her head. If only she had done differently, if only she had been good enough, maybe then Loki wouldn’t be lost to her. She couldn’t get the negative thoughts out of her mind, their bitterness and anger seeping into her grieving heart. She shouldn’t blame herself, she had done everything she could, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop her thoughts from escalating.

Synn didn’t touch the breakfast that was brought to her, she was in no mood to eat, nor sit at the table that she had shared so many breakfasts with Loki. It pained her to think of those early mornings, waking up in the comfort of his arms, spending time sitting peacefully together as they ate. The food she had saved for him was still sitting on the table, sending a pang through her heart. She sat down heavily on his side of the bed, choking back a sob. She buried her head in his pillow, his smell still lingering. She couldn’t stop the tears that soaked the fabric, nor did she have the willpower too. How much longer would this smell last? A few days, maybe weeks or months if she was lucky. It would fade, and she would hold on to the memory as hard as she could, but that too would pass. She had thousands of years left to live and she would have to live them with the ever fading memory of the man she loved so dearly.

Synn sat up, needing to breath fresh air, the anguish in her chest threatening to spill over. Her eyes were blurry with tears as she looked towards his nightstand. She wasn’t sure what possessed her, but in that moment she needed to know what was inside.

Synn slowly opened the drawer, staring at the neatly arranged contents. It was relatively sparse, a quill and ink well lay next to a small notebook. She had never seen him write in it before, she wasn’t even sure she had ever seen the notebook at all. He kept journals, but this definitely wasn’t one of them, it was too small and relatively untouched. Synn picked up the book, the dark leather bindings smooth in her hand. She opened the cover, nervous as to what was inside, only to find blank pages. Her nervousness ebbed, perhaps he had been planning on using this book as his next journal. She quickly flipped through the book, the blank pages staring back at her. He would never get to fill out this book, his story had ended, and Synn felt like a large part of hers had too. As the pages whistled past her fingertips she noticed a pop of colour on one of the pages in the middle of the book. She quickly opened the book, no longer able to hold back her sorrow as she saw what was pressed between the pages. It was a small, blue forget-me-not, it’s stem tied into a circle. It was the one she had given Loki centuries ago, when they had said their first vows and pledged to love each other, no matter the cost. Her hand trembled as she traced the flower, careful not to disturb it. He had kept it all those years, right beside where they lay together.

Synn closed the book tightly, all but throwing it back into the drawer as sobs wracked her body. How could things have gone so wrong so quickly? Her love for him had never faltered or faded yet it was not enough to save him from himself or the lies of his father. Synn let out a warbled cry, her grief exploding out of her, no longer caring if anyone heard her.

She slumped to the floor, clutching her arms tightly around herself. She felt numb and raw at the same time, no longer in her own body as she struggled to breathe through her tears. She didn’t know how long she stayed there, rocking back and forth in a useless attempt at comfort. She had buried her face in her knees, unable able to look at the room around her, every sign that Loki had once lived there felt like a knife to her heart. She didn’t hear the knocking at the door or a familiar voice call her name. Synn barely registered the gentle touch on her shoulder or the kind words being spoken to her. It wasn’t until arms wrapped around her, holding her as she cried, that she registered who the person was. Synn looked up, meeting the sympathetic gaze of her cousin, Asta had found her.

“Asta.” Synn whimpered, her voice raspy and harsh.

“I’m here, Synn. I’ve got you.” Asta crooned, petting down Synn’s hair. Synn launched herself into her cousin’s arms, holding on as if Asta was the only thing keeping her on the ground.

“I’m so sorry.” Asta leaned her cheek against Synn’s hair, rubbing her back soothingly.

“How could this happen?” Synn sobbed, her voice muffled by Asta’s shoulder, “How am I supposed to live in a world where he isn’t? Why couldn’t he have stayed here?”

Asta said nothing, she did not have the answers. She had been surprised when Thor had shown up on her doorstep once more, her heart sinking when she saw the look on his face. This was not the same lighthearted call he had made last time, this was to bring horrible news.

“I can’t stay here, there are too many memories of him,” Synn’s sobbing started to subside, though she was still holding desperately onto Asta, “everywhere I look I see him and it breaks my heart all over again.”

“Come home with me,” Asta pulled back to look down at her cousin’s tear-stained and red face, “you can stay with us for as long as you need.”

“I don’t want to intrude, you have the children to think of now.” Synn protested, this hadn't been what she was asking for and didn’t want to put the burden of her grief on Asta.

“I insist, it would make me feel better to have you with us, make sure you’re okay, I want to be there for you,” Asta assured. She meant it, she hated to see Synn like this and wanted to do anything that could make her cousin’s life easier.

Synn had no energy to argue and the thought of getting away from the constant reminders that Loki was truly gone was too good to deny. Asta packed up a few of Synn’s belongings, enough to last her the week. If she decided to stay longer Asta was sure that she could come back and get more.

Before they left, Synn grabbed Loki’s pillow, unwilling to give up every item of his. She needed something to hold onto, something that could console her when she would wake up in the middle of the night and reach over expectantly, only to find herself alone.

Synn ignored the stares and whispers she received as she walked out of the palace. There were likely some vicious rumours going around and she did not care to hear any of them. Asta kept shooting her worried glances, the apathy and depression marring Synn’s face were concerning. Only minutes earlier she had watched her cousin’s face be contorted by grief, now it was like she was a shadow, obediently following whatever Asta asked.

They arrived at Asta’s house to find it empty. Frida had taken the children for some errands, letting Synn settle in in the peace and quiet before she was bombarded by her niece and nephew. They were still young, barely in their teens and had yet to understand the true feelings of loss.

There were only two rooms in the house, Asta and Frida’s and the children’s. Asta offered Synn their room, but she declined. Staying with Asta was enough of a burden, she didn’t want to steal their room too. Synn also felt comfort by staying on the couch. It was in the main part of the house, meaning that she wouldn’t be able to isolate and close herself off, as much as her brain was screaming at her to do exactly that. It would be better for her in the long run.

Asta put on some tea and toasted some bread, Synn’s untouched breakfast at the palace not lost on her. Synn felt useless as she sat at her cousin’s kitchen table, munching slowly on the toast. She couldn’t offer anything to her cousin, though she knew Asta expected nothing, she had never been one to sit around and do nothing.

Synn voiced her concern, earning her an exasperated look and assurance that she should take this time to grieve. Asta was right, yet Synn was trying everything she could to hold off her grieving process. She couldn’t imagine being ready to move on, nor did she think she would ever want that.

Synn had finished her toast by the time Frida and the children got home.

“Auntie Synn!” Came excited shrieks as they entered the room and caught sight of her. Synn managed a weak smile as they all but tackled her off her chair, launching themselves into her arms.

“Ingrid, Sven, leave your Auntie Synn alone, she’s had a hard day.” Frida held up the bags full of fresh produce.

“That’s alright,” Synn rested her cheek on top of Ingrid’s head, “This is nice.”

Synn felt the children squeeze her tighter and she had to hold back her tears from spilling over once more. They may not realize it, but their presence helped Synn feel stable. They didn’t know what had happened, or at least they acted as though they didn’t. It helped her feel a little more normal, letting her relax into their hugs. From their lack of asking about Uncle Loki, as they usually did, she surmised that Frida had told them not to, for which she was grateful. That was not something she had the mental capacity to explain to the children.

The children let go, bouncing back on their heels as they examined her. Her cheeks were still stained and her eyes red from her tears. She had dark bags under her eyes and her hair was messier than usual. Before they could ask her what was wrong, they were ushered away by Frida, claiming she needed help with the produce they had just bought. The children groaned in complaint but followed their mother back towards the door.

Asta helped Synn up from her chair, leading her out of the busy kitchen and into the living room. They sat down on the couch, Asta keeping a comforting hand on Synn’s back.

“I know they can be a bit much sometimes so don’t be afraid to tell them you need space.” Asta smiled kindly at Synn.

“Thank you,” Synn said, whipping at her face. She needed to clean up, but she was exhausted. Her tiredness had set itself deep in her bones and felt like an anchor weighing her down. Asta could see her cousin’s eyelids droop and grabbed a blanket. She fought past Synn’s persistence that she didn’t need rest, shoving Synn down on the couch and wrestling the blanket onto her. Synn let out a weak laugh and she watched Asta’s proud face as she wrapped her up like the mother hen that she was. With the warmth of the blanket surrounding her and the familiar bustle coming from the kitchen of her childhood home, Synn could not help but let herself drift off into unconsciousness, her dreams empty as her body rested.

Synn spent the next few days in a stupor, sleeping or sitting on the couch. Ingrid and Sven tried to engage her to no avail. Finally, their moms had to explain to them what had happened, their confusion about their aunt’s behaviour becoming too much. They gave her more space after that, taking time for themselves to deal with the loss of their uncle. While they hadn’t known him well, they had still enjoyed his visits, always looking forward to the small magic spells he would perform for them. They weren’t given any of the details, just told that he had passed away. They would know when they were older, but Asta and Frida did not yet want to tarnish their memory of him.

It wasn’t until later that week, a few days after Loki’s fall that Synn woke up from a nap, blinking hard from the sun shining in through the window. There was a loud knock at the door, prompting Asta to greet the guest. Synn sat up on the couch when she heard the familiar booming voice. Thor had come by, needing to speak with her. Synn quickly tied up her hair, trying to look like less of a disaster than she was. Thor was welcomed into the living room, Frida ushering the children standing in awe of him into their bedroom. Thor shot them a wink and flexed his arm as they left, earning him some excited giggles.

Synn got up to greet him, being squished in his bear hug.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by sooner,” Thor said, letting her go, her breath returning to her lungs, “It’s been busy at the palace as of late.”

Synn knew why, they would have a lot of clean-up to do after the fight with Loki. The Rainbow Bridge was still destroyed along with the Bifrost.

“I understand, no need to apologize,” Synn reassured him. She hadn’t expected him to come by at all, that he was here at all was more than she could have hoped for.

They sat down beside each other on the couch, Thor was wearing his full armour, his hammer by his side. The weight of him causing the couch to creak worryingly, however, to Synn’s relief, it held up.

“Loki is not allowed an official funeral as a result of his treason,” Thor wasted no time in tip-toeing around, “it was decreed by my father, going against his wishes would mean committing treason ourselves.”

He knew Synn was upset, they both were at such a deep loss, but he was confident she could handle it. She was stronger than most people gave her credit for. She looked away from him, she had expected this, but not being given the proper closure of a funeral stung sharply all the same.

“That is why we will hold a small and unofficial funeral,” Thor concluded. Synn’s head shot up, staring at him in disbelief. It was not a direct contradiction of Odin’s orders, but it was something she knew Loki would have approved of. Any form of malicious compliance was something he would have enjoyed.

“It will just be us and my mother,” Thor explained, “we will gather at Vigrid bay beach at midnight tomorrow if you would like to come.”

“Of course,” Synn grabbed his hands in hers, beyond thankful for this opportunity to send Loki off properly, “I would be honoured. Thank you, Thor.”

“I will see you then.” Thor nodded, standing up to leave.

“If you ever want to talk about him, or anything else to take your mind off it, please don’t hesitate to stop by.” Synn stood up as well, feeling some strength being renewed in her. A send-off was important, she would not be letting her love for Loki go, but putting some of her sorrow to rest.

“Thank you, Synn,” Thor said, leaving almost as quickly as he had arrived.

Synn felt at war with herself. She had been initially happy about the funeral, thinking it would give her peace. Yet as the day dragged on, bleeding into the next, she felt anxiety wiggle its way into her brain. What if she put Loki to rest and then forgot about him, about their tender moments together. Would she forget his voice, his laugh? She felt a desperate need to cling on to him that she found it difficult to imagine sending him off.

However, she found herself on her way to Vigrid bay beach close to midnight the next day. She knew she would regret it if she didn’t go and she had yet to see Frigga. She could not imagine the pain she must be feeling over the loss of her child.

She stared up at the cliff as she approached, memories flooding her head. It felt not long ago that they had both admitted their feelings for one another. Their vows rang in her ears as she stepped onto the beach, the soft sound of water hitting the shore distant, as though it was a part of a dream. She thought back to finding the flower ring in Loki’s bedside table, the pain returning to her heart. She could barely think over the noise and images rushing around in her head. It wasn’t until she felt a strong, slender arm hold onto hers that she was brought back to the present.

She hadn’t noticed that Frigga and Thor were already there, Frigga having been the one to hold onto her.

“I’m so sorry.” Synn met her eyes, both of their faces clouded with grief.

“We did all we could, he made his own decisions, whether we agree or not.” Frigga pulled her in for a hug, both women holding on tightly to each other. She had heard those words from the people surrounding her, yet she hadn’t believed them. A large part of her blamed herself, no matter how much she logically understood that she wasn’t at fault. However, hearing those words from Frigga brought a different weight to them. She had been actively involved in the events of what had happened here on Asgard. Thor had been off-world for most of it, unable to see how quickly Loki changed. Frigga had sat with Synn as they tried their best to be there for him. They had both watched as he’d destroyed himself and left them burned in his wake.

They walked over to where Thor stood, a small wooden boat held in his hand, a fire lit beside him. In place of his usual armour and hammer were his more casual clothes and a bow and arrow. He had a solemn look on his face as he nodded at her, needing no words to express the anguish they both felt.

They stood together on the shoreline as Thor placed the boat in the water, allowing the tide to pull it out towards the edge of the planet. Frigga hugged Synn and Thor to her side as her beautiful and haunting voice rang out over the water.

“Fe vældur frænda rogi
fød'esk ulfr i skogi
Fe er fird'a gaman
Frænda rogu
gravseid'is gata
Ormen ligg i kveile
I løyndom vakar under
Som ei helufallen åker
Strid som frender råker”

When her song was over, Synn watched with tears streaming down her cheeks as Thor lit an arrow in the fire and shot it at the small boat. The arrow struck the centre, dwarfing the small wooden structure and instantly setting it aflame. Synn choked back a sob as she watched the boat drop over the edge, falling unceremoniously into the space beyond. It was similar to Loki’s fate, having left them all to mourn him as dropped off of Asgard. Had he really not believed she would love him? It pained her more than she could stand that he had died believing she would not care for him.

They stood together in silence, Synn and Frigga holding onto each other as they dealt with the feelings wrestling inside.

“I will miss my boy.” Frigga’s lip wavered as she held back her tears. Even during her son’s funeral, she remained her regal self. Synn was sure there was more sadness building up underneath the surface she needed to let out.

“Ever since I met him he had spoken only of how much he loved you, how wonderful you were to him,” Synn restrained her tears, she needed to be there for Frigga, “I know that in those last moments, he did not forget the love you hold for him.”

At her words, Frigga could not hold it back any longer, crying as Synn wrapped her arms around the older woman. Synn locked eyes with Thor, his face muddled with tears as well. She opened her arms, ushering him in. He was quick to jump in, holding onto both Synn and Frigga as though his life depended on it. If only Loki could see them now, he’d barely be able to believe his eyes. They all cared for him so deeply yet in the end, he could not see it, blinded by his hatred of his father. He had left them all behind, huddled on a beach under the cover of night, crying in each other’s arms.

They stayed together until Frigga’s sobs had subsided. They broke apart, wiping at their eyes.

“We should get back, it is getting late.” Thor pointed out, putting his arm around his mother’s shoulders.

“You’re right, a good sleep would be helpful after this.” Synn was aware she would not be sleeping that night but felt the need to say it nonetheless. Maybe it would help Frigga and Thor find peace in their sleep.

“Thank you for coming, Synn, I hope to see you again soon.” Frigga squeezed her hand, allowing her son to start steering her away.

“Me too.” Synn waved goodbye, watching them go until she was the only one left on the beach.

The silence surrounded her as she started her walk home, not paying attention as her feet brought her where she needed to go. It was dark, but the lights of the city and stars were bright enough to lead her. She was lost in thought, replaying the funeral over and over in her head, feeling the pain as the flaming boat fell over the edge. It wasn’t until she looked up, unsure of how much time had passed, that she realized her feet had taken her down a different path than she had intended. She stood, arms clutched around herself, not far from where the funeral had taken place. She was at Vigrid Cliff. She scanned the area, walking until she sat heavily on the edge of the cliff. It was a special spot for her and Loki, somewhere where they had revealed their most intimate feelings, and spent nights together under the stars.

Now she sat alone, no one beside her to hold her hand or caress her cheek. He had been taken from her, lost in his inner torment until he could not stand it anymore. He was gone and there was no bringing him back.

She felt anger build up in her chest, eating away at the sadness until it felt like it would consume her. If Odin had told Loki his heritage instead of concealing it from him and telling him horror stories of the Frost Giants, they wouldn’t have been in that mess. How could he lie to him for so many years and think Loki would never find out? He was to blame for this, he was the one who should pay for this, not Loki, not Frigga, not Thor, and not herself. Did he even mourn his son? Synn could not imagine a man that cold shedding tears for someone he had never treated with respect.

Synn couldn’t keep her anger buried any longer, the scream ripped itself out of her throat, reverberating over the water. Her hands were clenched into fists as hot, angry tears ran down her face, splashing onto her dress. She was surprised she had any tears left after the past couple of days, but a loss as large as hers was not something to be downplayed. Her sobs came in forceful gasps as she cried out.

“Why did you leave me?” She yelled, “Come back to me!”

There was no answer, as she had expected, but she couldn’t stop the rage she felt. Rage at Odin for his lies, and rage at Loki for his betrayal. She had tried to deny her anger, tried to smother it down under her grief over losing him, but as she let herself feel anger at Odin, she could not help but feel it directed at Loki as well.

She curled in on herself, grabbing fistfuls of grass as she did. Her breathing was ragged and her lungs sore as she gasped for breath between sobs. She lay there, letting her feelings wash over her, the stars starting to dim and the sun peeking out over the horizon before she moved. She should be getting home, Asta was bound to be worried about her. She had let her anger out, riding the feeling until all she felt was empty. Her grief would return, but as she got up to walk home, she could not help but feel her burden lessen.

Notes:

Almost at the end! Only three more chapters to go :) I will be continuing this once more Loki content comes out but with the way that Loki Season 1 ended I need time to really plan the story.

Chapter 18

Notes:

Yeesh, that was a very unfortunate cliffhanger I left y'all on for like...4 years. If you are reading this, I deeply apologize, but I will most likely never truly be finishing this fic. Unfortunatley my writing and interests have changed, but I wanted to post what I had (unedited) to maybe give you a bit of closure. So I will be posting three chapters and then a summary of the ones I hadn't yet written.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, I may not have finished this one but it taught me a lot about fic writing and I couldn't have finished my other fics without you!

As consolation, I do have a completed Lokixreader fic on my page if you are interested!

Chapter Text

To Synn’s surprise, Thor took her up on her offer. He stopped by every week to talk with her, often insisting she go on a walk with him. He pretended it was because he could barely fit in the house but Synn knew it was to get her outside. He must be working with Asta, her constant suggestions for Synn to get fresh air were very clear. 

They would share stories as they walked. Synn would offer stories of Loki, largely from their childhood, steering clear from the more painful memories. Thor would add on to her stories, or fill her in on palace life and some of his favourite battles from when he was still able to leave Asgard. Talking casually and being able to laugh over thoughts of Loki was more healing than she would have thought. On her own, she found herself drowning in her feelings, but when she was able to joke with Thor, knowing he too felt similar pain to hers, she felt like herself again. She slowly started coming out of her shell at home as a result. She had stayed at Asta’s for months, still not able to go back to the palace, the haunting memories of Loki surrounding her at all times was still too much. She had been spending a lot of time with her niece and nephew, their youthful joy helping lift her out of her depression. It helped her feel useful as well, able to look after the children while their moms worked. She was able to impart her naturopathic knowledge on them, happy to at least make some use of the many years she spent training at the palace. 

She missed Loki everyday, there wasn’t a second that went by when he wasn’t on her mind. Her brain slowly became less clouded with grief, never letting what she had had with Loki go, but learning how to live with the pain she felt. She loved him so much, when she lost him she felt like she had lost a huge part of herself and was slowly picking up the pieces. She was fitting other relationships where she hadn’t before, getting closer with Thor and spending more time with Asta and her family. It was not the same, nor would anything ever replace what she had had with Loki, but it had filled that gap enough to stop the dam from breaking, leaving her nothing more than a crushed soul. Her aunt and uncle dropped by frequently as well, shoving all sorts of food her way. They would fret over her, berate her for losing weight, and stuff her until she could only laugh through her full mouth. She knew they were right, she should eat more, but her appetite had disappeared. She couldn’t bring herself to eat most days, ignoring the worried glances she received from Asta when she managed to only eat half the food on her plate. 

Synn found herself having nightmares frequently. They often involved a twisted replaying of the events of a few months ago, changing the words that Loki said, putting the blame all on her. She watched him fall night after night, waking up in a cold sweat and shaking as she held back her sobs. If it wasn’t about Loki, it was about her existing family. She was terrified to lose them, unsure what she would do should she lose anyone else. 

She started to feel restless, tired of the cycle she had trapped herself in. She reflected a lot on her parents during this time. She wondered what they would have to say to her, how they would support her. Synn imagined her father would garden with her, offering her his favourite ways of caring for the plants, allowing her to nuture them. When it came to her mother, Synn was unsure of how she would treat her. She was a strong warrior, would she be disappointed by Synn’s lack of will to take care of herself? She tried to ignore that thought, replacing it with images of her mother teaching her how to fight. It was their families tradition, to teach the eldest daughter their warrior techniques, one that had been stolen from her. She couldn’t imagine herself as a fighter but fantasized about it all the same. Maybe she would have been strong enough to stop Loki before it was too late. 

Synn was walking with Thor one day when she brought up the topic of her mother. Thor was intrigued, having never heard of this sort of tradition before. Synn told him everything she knew about her, her strength, her compassion, her need to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. 

“She sounds just like Lady Sif.” Thor had noted. 

Synn thought about his words frequently after that. She had only met Sif a few times before and all their interactions had gone well. Synn knew Sif wasn’t a fan of Loki, but she had taken none of her frustrations with Loki out on Synn. She appreciated her dedication to her work, her skill was highly spoken of. She was one of the only women in Asgard’s army and she had risen to a very high rank. 

Synn toiled with her ideas for a few days before deciding it was something she at least needed to try. She set out for the palace for the first time since she had been practically carried out by Asta. 

She steeled herself as she entered the front gates, she was not planning on going back to their room, but there were still many other places that reminded her of Loki. It was evening so there weren’t many people around, most having retired for the night. No one stopped her or made any surprised remarks at her sudden appearance, for that she was grateful. 

Synn found Sif’s chambers with only a few extra directions from guards. She was trying her best to push the images of her and Loki walking through the palace, laughing secretly between themselves out of her head, but had to take multiple stops to regulate her breathing. When she reached Sif’s door, she paused. She had not seen the other woman since their interaction outside of the throne room. Had Sif’s opinion of her changed? At that time, no one knew of the dark deeds Loki had and would commit. Did Sif hold any hard feelings towards her as a result of her being unable to stop Loki's actions? There was only one way to find out. 

Synn knocked rapidly on the door, hearing as foot steps padded towards her. Sif opened the door, having retired to her casual clothes. 

“Synn,” Sif raised her eyebrows in surprise, she had not expected to see the partner of the late-prince knocking on her door, “what can I do for you?” 

“I was hoping I could ask a favour of you?” Synn’s eyes darted around, feeling nervous that somebody may hear her. She felt foolish in her request, someone like her was no match for someone like Sif. Though she eas sure Loki would disgree with that thought. ‘ You are worth more than any of these pompous people could ever wish to be.’ She could almost hear him say. 

“Of course,” Sif stepped back, opening the door to allow Synn to enter, “please, come in.”

Synn stepped into the room, Sif closing the door behind her. It was smaller than her’s, though it was still sizable compared to her room at Asta’s. It was decorated with her signature maroon colour and contained a similar balcony to Synn’s. She averted her eyes, trying to ignore the way her brain brought up memories of the times she spent hours on the balcony, relaxing, gardening, and talking with Loki. 

“May I offer my condolences, I regret I have not been to see you sooner.” Sif said, courteous as ever. 

“Thank you,” Synn bowed her head, “though I’m afraid I’ve not been very good company as of late.” 

“I doubt that,” Sif gave her a gentle smile, “you greatly improve Thor’s mood every time he sees you.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Synn’s heart warmed, she had been so focused on herself that she had failed to see how her talks with Thor could benefit him as well. 

“Tea?” Sif offered, moving towards a small table in the corner, a steaming kettle sitting on top. 

“No, thank you, I won’t be taking up too much of your time.” Synn excused herself, she already felt like she was asking a lot, she didn’t need Sif’s hospitality on top of that. 

Sif nodded, pouring herself a glass, and motioning for Synn to continue. 

“I’m not sure how much you know of me, but my mother passed when I was very young. She had a family tradition, she was a warrior and was set to pass down her ways to her eldest daughter, me.” Synn started, “Unfortunately she died before she could teach me. While I never learned and I am not a natural fighter, I cannot keep feeling as helpless as I do. Not after what happened with Loki.” 

Sif was silent as Synn spoke, nodding along with her words. 

“I’m sure Thor would give me some pointers, but try as he may he does not understand what it is to be a woman surrounded by men, nor proper fighting techniques for women. If it isn’t too much to ask, I would greatly appreciate your help in learning how to defend myself.” Synn finished, nervously rubbing the bracelet on her wrist. 

“I can appreciate your struggle, it is one of the many reasons I became the fighter that I am today,” Sif put her tea down on the table, walking over to Synn and extending her hand, “I would be honoured to pass on my skills to you.” 

Synn accepted her hand, a wide smile breaking out on her face. 

“Thank you, Sif, it means a lot to me.” Synn was sincere in her words, finally starting to feel like there was a purpose to her struggle. The world kept pushing her down and she had always gotten up, now she would be able to fight back. 

Synn met with Sif weekly after that. She had started out slow, having to build strength before she was able to learn any moves. She was embarrassed by the other soldiers watching her, ignoring their confused or judgmental looks. They had no idea why she was here, let alone why she was training with Lady Sid. She was doing this for herself and needed none of their input. 

Synn started to regain her appetite, her family finally breathing a sigh of relief as she gained back the weight she had lost. Thor would stop by in addition to their walks together to cheer her on and join in on occasion. They would arm wrestle, Synn giving it her all, Thor barely moving a muscle. He would pretend she was winning, overacting as she pushed against his hand with all her force, before easily pushing her hand down. 

“You almost got me,” He’d exclaim, “next time you will win, for sure.” 

Even Idun would stop by, often taking a walk with her after her training. It felt like old times, both of them joking with each other as they walked around their old home. Having her friend by her side was something she hadn’t realized she had missed and was glad for the chance to have her back. 

Training gave her purpose, a goal to aim towards. While she still couldn’t sleep in the bed she had once shared with Loki, she felt like maybe she would find peace again one day. 

She channeled her grief into her training. She was taught largely self-defence but she enjoyed practicing the offensive moves as well. 

Life continued on, Synn getting into a healthier rhythm, finding more joy in her life everyday. She missed Loki more than she could ever say, her heart was still shattered from the loss. However, she was tired of being depressed and vulnerable. He wouldn’t have wanted that for her, she didn’t want it for herself, so she put all of her energy into working to change that. Things were looking up, she was managing her grief and anger, forging strong bonds with her friends and family. 

It wasn’t until one day, only a few weeks under a year from the anniversary of Loki’s passing that Synn’s life changed once more. She had gone to the training grounds as she usually did that day, looking forward to the new technique that Sif had promised to teach her. When she arrived, she immediately noticed the mood was different than usual. The only people there were Sif and Thor, locked into a heated discussion. They were too quiet for her to hear and stopped talking when they saw her approach. 

“What’s going on?” Synn asked warily, her eyes scanning their faces. Something had happened, Thor rarely looked as serious as he did and Sif had a hard look in her eyes that Synn did not recognize. The two warriors exchanged a glance before Thor took a step towards her. 

“I think you should sit down.” He gestured to a seat beside him. It was a piece of training equipment but could easily be used as a regular seat. 

“Is everyone alright?” Synn’s heart had dropped into her stomach, unable to guess what had these two so serious and what it had to do with her. Thor let out a deep sigh, his eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and hope. Synn tried not to guess what that look could mean, tried hard not to think about the only reason she could imagine for Thor to wear such differing emotions. 

“It’s Loki,” Thor explained, “he is alive, on Midgard.”

Synn felt the world fade out around her, no longer able to see or hear anything. Had she heard him right? Loki was alive on Midgard and they only just found out about it? How was that possible? Why hadn’t Loki found some way to tell her? Why did he let her think he was dead? 

She couldn’t figure out how to feel. Her heart sang with her love for Loki, more than ecstatic that he was alive, yet she could not help but let confusion and anger seep in. He had left her alone for a year, widowed and distraught, why? Her panic had set in, leaving her feeling like she was floating, no longer apart of this world. 

“Synn?” Sif prompted, kneeling in front of the slack jawed woman. Her face had lost all colour, her lips white, as she shivered. Waving a hand in front of her face got no response. They tried shaking her lightly and got nothing more than an unintelligible grumble. It took a few minutes, Thor and Sif waiting patiently as the colour returned to her face, her eyes coming back into focus. 

“How?” Synn licked her lips, her mouth dry like she had just eaten a mouthful of sand. 

“We do not know yet,” Thor knelt down, taking her cold hand in his, “but I will find out.” 

“How?” Synn asked again, furrowing her brow. The Bifrost had not yet been repaired, did they have some other way of getting in contact with him? Or had she jumped to conclusions and Loki had been the one to reach out?

“My father can send me there and I will bring him home.” Thor stated. From his words Synn gathered that she had been right, Loki had not been the one to contact Asgard and he would not come back willingly. 

“I’m going with you.” Synn blurted out, standing up shakily. Loki would see Thor as an extension of his father and an extension of the lies told to him his whole life. Synn hoped that if she went, knowing all that she did now, maybe there was a chance he would come back, come home to her. 

Sif and Thor looked between each other, apprehension clear on their face. Synn had been training, but she was far from a warrior yet, and there was no way that Loki would ever stop his tirade of the nine realms should Synn get harmed. 

“No, it is too dangerous.” Thor put his large hand on her shoulder, holding her steady. 

“I don’t care,” Synn insisted, “I am stronger than I was, besides we both know I am most likely to be able to reason with him, he won’t listen to you.” 

“She is right, Thor,” Sif pointed out, “Synn has always been the only one he’s ever truly listened too.”

“I can’t let something happen to you,” Thor said, his voice quieting as he gave Synn a pleading look, “I can’t lose both of you.”

His words pulled at Synn’s heart strings. To him she was a part of the brother he had lost, someone he had grown to consider a close friend. While she felt the same for him, she also needed to do something to get Loki back. 

“You won’t,” Synn promised, steadying herself and removing Thor’s hand from her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze before letting go, “let me go and I can bring us both back, it does not have to be one or the other.”

Thor struggled with her words. On one hand he wanted to keep her safe on Asgard, on the other, he could not deny that she would have a better chance than anyone else to bring Loki home. 

“She’s been training with me for many months now,” Sif took a step forward, nodding at Synn, “she is strong and capable, but I think we both know that no matter what, Loki wouldn’t harm her.” 

Thor was outnumbered, while fighting that would never be a problem for him, he knew he could not outmatch their wills. 

“You will follow my lead,” Thor conceded, “and you will speak with Loki first. If that does not work, I will bring you to safety.”

“Deal.” Synn confirmed. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. 

“We leave in an hour, prepare your things and meet me at the Rainbow Bridge.” Thor said, departing to find his father. Adding an extra person would likely take extra provisions, and sending Synn would need some convincing. Odin still did not like her and would hate the idea of her being a vital part of the plan to bring his son home. Thor hoped that with the help of his mother, they’d be able to convince him of her asset. 

Synn quickly thanked Sif, walking away from the training field. She had an idea, one that would have sent her into a panic only earlier that day. She walked the familiar route through the palace, feeling her heart swell as she got closer and closer to her old room. Loki was alive, she could still barely believe her ears, unable to fully process what that meant. She had been grieving for him for so long that it felt almost impossible for her biggest fantasy to come true. She had missed him so much, there was absolutely nothing that could stop her from bringing him home.

Synn opened the door to her room, stopping on the threshold as she looked around. It was just the way that she had left it. Someone had brought her her clothes, emptying her half of the closet, but everything else was still in place. People had been in to clean it, there was no layer of dust as she had expected. 

She walked over to Loki’s nightstand and opened the drawer, the object that had sent her into a fit of anguish sitting unassumingly inside. She lifted the little notebook, pushing back tears as she looked at the flower ring inside. She needed to remind him of the love they had once shared, that she still felt as strongly for him as she did that day that she acted against Odin’s decree to marry him. 

Synn held the notebook to her chest, calming the erratic beating of her heart. There were so many thoughts swirling in her head, but she had no time to process them. She needed to go. She wouldn’t be able to tell her family she was leaving, though she was sure they would understand. 

Synn couldn’t help but let a small smile cross her face as she secured herself a horse and headed down towards the Rainbow Bridge. She was on her way to save the man she loved, a man she had thought she would never see again. She was getting her Loki back.

Chapter Text

Synn clung to Thor as they plummeted towards Midgard, Mjolnir guiding their decent.  Her hair whipped around her as the air caught on her clothes. She would scream if she didn’t feel so paralyzed. Lightning clashed around them, thunder shaking the skies. Thor had one arm wrapped around her, keeping her securely tucked to his side, as they landed on something solid. Synn held onto Thor, her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his waist, but lifted her head to look around. Though she could barely see anything due to her hair moving wildly in the wind, she could see that they were on top of something metal, flying through the air at high speeds. It looked similar to the flying ships they had on Asgard except made out a dull grey material instead of a vibrant gold. They were high up in the clouds, Synn partially grateful for the cloud coverage so she could not see how high up they were. They heard the electric sounds of a door opening and Thor had to yell over the sound of the weather and ship for her to hear.

“Hold on!” He shouted before flying towards the back of the ship and landing in the open doorway. Now that the wind was no longer causing her hair to blur her vision, she let go of Thor and got a better look around. In front of them were four people, two at the front of the ship who appeared to be steering it, and two standing in front of them. One of the men was dressed in a white, blue, and red outfit, equipped with a round shield. He had a serious yet pouty look to his face and was standing at the ready to fight off the new intruders. The man directly in front of them seemed to be a mechanical man as far as she could tell, like the Crypt Guardian on Asgard. He was covered in yellow and red metal with eyes, hands, and an orb in his chest that glowed a soft white. The mechanical man reached out his arm, the glow on his hand expanding with an imminent sounding tune. Thor quickly put Synn down before using his hammer to block and return the hit to the metal man. The man flew back into the one standing behind him, causing them both to fall unceremoniously into a pile. During that moment Synn spun around, feeling someone’s gaze digging into her back. As she turned to look at the person behind her it felt like time stood still. Sitting there, bound up and tossed in a seat was Loki. 

They locked eyes, the intensity of their gaze causing Synn’s heart to flutter in her chest. She had felt hope that he was alive when she first heard, but seeing him, in one piece, made it feel much more real. He was looking tired, large bags circling his under eyes. Yet all Synn could think was that he was alive. His green eyes were wide, mouth slightly parted. He had clearly not expected to see her there. Synn felt her lip quiver but quickly calmed herself, this was no place to cry. That would come later. 

Synn tried reaching out for Loki, she needed to feel him, know that he was real and not some sort of sick illusion, but before she could reach him, Thor pushed past her to grab Loki by the throat and pick him up. 

“Thor!” Synn yelled, grabbing his arm to try to stop him. She knew it was in vain, she could not out power Thor, but she could not help her reaction nonetheless. 

“Stay here until I come for you.” Thor said, keeping his eyes squared on his brother. 

“What?” Synn and Loki said at the same time. Before anyone could move, Thor had taken Loki out of the ship and into the storm raging outside. 

Synn clenched her fists. They had been on Midgard for less than a minute and Thor had already broken the plan. Synn looked back at the group in the plane behind her, they were all staring at her warily, the metal man holding out his glowing hand towards her, ready to fire. 

Synn raised her hands in what she hoped was also the Midguardian sign for surrender. 

“Im not a fighter, I mean you no harm.” She proclaimed loudly over the wind. 

“What about that guy with you?” The metal man asked, accusation clear in his voice, having yet to lower his weapon. 

“One of Asgard’s best fighters.” She answered. 

“Why did he take Loki?” The man in white, blue, and red asked. 

“I don’t know, he has already strayed from our plan, but I promise he too means no ill will to this planet.” Synn swore. 

“Doesn’t matter.” The metal man lowered his hand and walked towards the back of the ship, “If he frees Loki or kills him, the tesseract’s lost.” 

“Stark, we need a plan of attack!” The other man demanded, making the metal man, Synn guessed his name was Stark, pause and turn to speak. 

“I have a plan. Attack.” Stark retorted before jumping out of the door and flying after Thor. 

The man still left standing in the ship sighed as he turned to grab some items from the side of the ship and strap them to himself. 

“I’d sit this one out, Cap.” A woman from the front of the ship called back. 

“I don’t see how I can.” The man, Cap, said, continuing to strap on an item that Synn did not recognize. 

“These guys come from legends. They’re basically gods.” The woman said, flicking switches above her. Cap finished putting on his straps. 

“I’m pretty sure gods don’t dress like that.” Cap said, before turning to Synn. 

“Anything I should know?” He asked. 

“Thor’s an idiot but he’s capable of being reasoned with. We came to bring Loki home, not to kill him as you other friend suggested.” Synn tried and failed to keep the venom out of her voice. The idea that she would come here to kill Loki was ridiculous to her. 

Cap nodded stiffly. 

“Ill keep that in mind.” He said before securing his shield to his arm and jumping out of the plane, the door closing behind him.

It was much quieter without the wind rushing in and Synn shifted awkwardly where she stood as the silence settled in. 

“Thor, you said? Like the Norse God of Thunder?” The woman asked, turning to look at her. Synn could not read her expression but could feel the woman’s studious gaze sizing her up. 

“Yes, that would be the one.” Synn's eyes darted around the ship. There were many different small lights that caught her eye and interesting little contraptions running along the wall that she did not know the use of. She had never left Asgard before and felt like a fish on land on this ship. She had been left alone in unfamiliar territory; she would yell at Thor about that later. 

“And who are you? A Norse God of anything?” She asked. Synn chuckled, taking a small step towards the other woman. 

“No, my name is Synn. I’m just…” Synn trailed off, she was about to say that she was Loki’s wife, but considering that Loki had been wreaking havoc on Midgard she doubted they’d take to kindly to having his wife onboard their ship. 

“A friend.” Synn concluded. 

“Well then, friend, you better strap in, we’re gonna go pick up the boys from their playdate.” The woman smirked before turning around. 

Synn sat down on the seat where Loki had been sitting, feeling pathetic as she smiled when she realized the seat was still warm. That meant that he was there, he was not the illusion she feared he was. Though she still longed to touch him, it gave her a moment’s reprieve from the thoughts barraging her brain. 

The rest of the ride was silent. The pilots landing in a clearing and opening the hatch for their companions to come in. Synn was relieved to see them all in one piece, she knew Thor would not kill his brother, but she did fear about the others. Synn stood up to great them as they came in, shooting Thor an angry warning look. He gave her a sheepish smile before plopping his brother back down on the seat. Loki was actively not looking at her, but that did not stop her from once again taking in the sight of him. His hair had grown and was slicked back in his usual fashion, though at this length she found it made him look wane. He looked exhausted, part of Synn wanted to wrap him up in a warm hug and never let go, but the other part of her wanted to slap him across the face and curse him out for leaving her and letting her think he was dead. For the moment, she settled for sitting across the ship from him, never letting her strong gaze leave him. He did not once turn to look at her, but she had no doubts that he was aware of her stare. She could feel the confused looks she was getting from the other members of the flight, but they said nothing as her emotions clouded her vision, leaving only the pain and love she felt to battle for her expression. 

They arrived on a much larger flying machine that the woman, Natasha Romanoff, called a helicarrier. Loki was taken away from them, being pulled by men in dark clothing towards what Synn was told was a containment unit for him. She watched him go, her heart aching as he was taken out of sight. She knew he would be safe, but the last time she had been separated from him was when he had fallen to what she had presumed was his death. 

“He’ll be alright.” Thor said quietly to her, clapping a large hand on her shoulder. Synn looked up at him, a forlorn look on her face. She really hoped he was right. 

Synn could barely keep track of everything going on around her, there were so many unfamiliar machines, people speaking over each other, relaying orders she didn’t understand. It was overwhelming, she didn’t know where she should go or look or what she should do. She did the only thing that made sense and followed closely behind Thor. 

They made their way to a wide open room led by a kind and enthusiastic man called Agent Coulson. He spoke about the containment unit they had put Loki in, one that would fall directly out of the bottom of the helicarrier should he cause a disturbance. Synn shuddered at the thought of having to watch Loki fall away from her again and hoped that it would not come to that. 

Once they entered the room, Synn watched as people scattered all around were staring at screens in front of them or milling about. Synn was directed to sit at a large table near the back of the room. There were screens there as well, though these screen showed a different image. A large, imposing man was standing to the side. He wore a long black leather coat, a matching eye patch covering his left eye, scars running out from beneath. Romanoff informed her and Thor that this was Nick Fury, the director of SHIELD. 

Loki stood, a smug look on his face as he watched the other man, pacing slowly like a wild animal does when it stalks its prey. 

When Loki spoke he was almost unrecognizable to her. Any kindness and charm she was used to had vanished, in its place was venom and disdain. He mocked the director, asserting that he viewed humans as nothing more than dirt under his feet, nothing more than cattle to be conquered. She had to look away, the words he was saying were reminiscent of his father. The elitism and selfishness shining through. Those were not his words, simply those of a boy trying hard to impress a father who never cared for him in a way he deserved. Yet she could not deny that he was saying these things, perpetrating the bigotry his father celebrated. What had happened to the man she had comforted all those years ago who had been so upset after being yelled at for saving lives similar to those he deemed less than his? 

She twirled her bracelet around her wrist as she wrestled with her thoughts, feeling the cold metal resting gently on her. 

Synn watched Thor, his pain visible beneath the stoic mask he wore. He too did not recognize this version of his brother. Synn wondered what had happened between them when Thor had flown away with Loki, what had he said? Had Loki talked to Thor the same way he talked to the Director? Or was it all for show?

The others around her started talking, their words washing over Synn as she collected her thoughts. It took her a moment to fully snap herself out of her revery. It wasn’t until another man at the table, a scientist, they told her, named Bruce Banner, spoke that she came back to reality. 

“I don’t think we should be focusing on Loki, that guy’s brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him.” 

Synn understood why the Midgardians did not care for Loki, he had made quite the negative first impression, but she still bristled at the comment. 

“Have care how you speak,” Thor moved forward, “Loki is beyond reason but he is of Asgard and he is my brother.” 

“He killed eighty people in two days.” Romanoff deadpanned. 

“He’s adopted.” Thor elaborated, trying to shift some of the blame off himself. 

“Does that make him any less of your brother? He is a product of your father’s lies and disdain for humanity.” Synn challenged. She was disappointed in Thor’s reaction, Loki’s adoption being hidden from him was half the reason this mess had happened in the first place. 

Thor’s mouth opened and shut a few times, not sure what to say under Synn’s cool glare. 

“And who is he to you?” Banner asked. “We still know nothing about who you are.” 

Synn straightened her posture, her face remaining neutral. Being his brother is one thing, brothers fight and disagree all the time, it was expected. Being romantically involved with Loki was likely to bring her more suspicion, she would be expected to be more on Loki’s side than Thor would be. 

“He is my husband.” She explained, watching the surprised reactions of those around her. 

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. You’re telling us you’re married to the mass murderer currently being held in the most secure prison SHIELD has to offer.” Bruce clarified, the sass in his voice unmistakable. 

“You heard me,” Synn asserted, “Ive known him since we were children, he was not always like this, but yes he is still my husband, whether his father agrees or not, and I do still care for him.”

“How do we know you aren’t in league with him?” Cap, who she’d come to know was called Steve Rogers, asked. 

“Because he left me behind, the same as he did Thor. I love him and I want him safe but that does not mean I condone his actions.” Synn stood up, her hands splayed on the table in front of her. 

“I will vouche for Synn,” Thor interjected before anyone else could continue to push her, “she is here because of her relationship with Loki, if anyone can get through to him it is her.”

Synn smiled at him, grateful for his support. It was clear the others did not trust her, she could feel the tension radiating off of them but she hoped that they could trust Thor’s judgement. 

“With all due respect, we need someone without an emotional attachment to him to get the information out of him first.” Romanoff said, her tone gentle but by the way she said it Synn knew there was no getting around her. 

“That’s fine,” Synn nodded, “but if you’ll excuse me I think I need some air.” 

Without another word, Synn turned around, quickly exiting the room, the stares of distrust and uncertainty making her skin itch. 

She walked down the halls, unaware of her surroundings, ignoring the looks shot her way. It must have been odd to them, she was still dressed in her Asgardian style clothing, her dark green tunic wrapped tightly around her. 

She wandered around the facility, lost in thought of what she wanted to say to Loki when she was given the chance. She had no idea what she would do when she started speaking. Would her anger take over, giving in to the pain that radiated in her chest? Would she lean more towards sadness, his abandonment and ignorance of their love shining through? Or would she just look at his broken face and feel nothing but her love and empathy for the betrayal he suffered at the hands of his father? She had a feeling it would be a mix of all three. 

When she finally stopped, taking a moment to look up, she realized she was outside of the room where Loki was currently imprisoned. Her feet had brought her closer to where her heart lay, buried beneath the walls Loki had put up around himself. She hadn’t meant to walk there, but the pull towards the man she loved and had thought was lost to her was not something she could ignore. She watched him through the small tinted window, his face unreadable as he sat in his cage, staring blankly forward. 

Synn heard heavy footsteps coming from behind her, though it lacked the familiar swish of Thor’s cape. She turned around, seeing the blue, white, and red outfit of Captain Rogers as he walked towards her. 

“Came to make sure I wasn’t breaking him out?” She asked dryly. It was clear they didn’t trust her but did they really think she would do something so bold? There were hundreds of people aboard the ship, even if she got him out, where would they go?

“Something like that.” Captain Rogers chuckled. He came to stand beside her, peering in to take a quick look at Loki. 

“Even if I wanted to, I do not have the skills to do so.” Synn turned, facing back towards the window. 

“You’d be surprised what people do for love.” Captain Rogers looked at her, his eyes unexpectedly kind. 

“I’ve done much for my love with Loki,” she stated, “but breaking him out of here won’t do anyone any good. He’s suffered a lot, I just want to bring him home safe.” 

“And you’re sure there’s still something in there to save?” He asked. Had she not been able to see the genuine concern on his face she would have been upset at that comment. Of course he was still in there, she had known him for so long and she was not ready to give up on bringing back the man she loved. 

“If you found someone you thought to be dead, that you loved with all your heart, would you give up on them so easily?” Synn replied, turning the question back on him. She fixed him with a strong gaze, she may not have been a fighter but she would be damned before she let anyone convince her that Loki could not be saved. 

“No, I don’t think I would.” Rogers admitted. He wasn’t sure what he had expected the wife of an alien criminal to be like, yet he could see how much she cared for him. Her tenacity and strength rang off her, she so deeply believed in the man standing before them, locked away in the cage. He hoped for her sake that she was right, he hoped that there was still some part deep down in the God of Mischief who could see the hurt he had caused. 

“I’ll leave you to it, Romanoff should be down soon to interrogate him. You should be allowed to see him after she is done.” Rogers reported, stepping back to leave. 

“Thank you, Captain Rogers.” Synn nodded her head, happy and nervous to hear she may get a chance to speak with Loki soon. 

“Call me Steve.” Rogers called as he walked away. Synn smiled, there was something about the man that she enjoyed. He was honest and direct, not one to shy away from asking the heavy questions. There was a strength that radiated from him, not just physical but internal as well. She thought that maybe if the circumstances had been different, they could have been friends. 

True to his word, Romanoff came by quickly after.

“Wish me luck.” Romanoff smiled at her. 

“From what I can tell, I don’t think you’re going to need it.” Synn shot back. Romanoff huffed a laugh before opening the heavy metal door and sealing it quietly behind her. 

Synn watched as Romanoff talked with Loki, though she could not hear them. Loki postured about his cage, his arrogance getting the better of him, thinking he was smarter than her was his first mistake. In less than a minute Romanoff was talking into her wrist as she briskly walked away, shock written on Loki’s face. 

“He’s all yours.” Romanoff said as she continued her walk. “Be careful, he’s playing a dangerous game and I can’t guarantee you won’t be hurt.” She added, turning to give Synn one last look before leaving. 

Synn took a deep breath, her thoughts ringing in her head. She steeled herself and stepped through the door. 

Loki watched her as she approached the glass, his intense gaze following her until she stood before him. The silence radiated between them as they took each other in for a moment. She knew that they were being listened to and watched, but this was the closest to alone she was going to get with him. Loki’s eyes raked over her body, trying to look past her steely gaze and into her true feelings. 

“You’ve changed.” Loki took a step forward, his voice emotionless. 

“I mourned the loss of my husband, that changes a person.” Synn’s voice cracked, her composure breaking for a moment before she pulled herself together again. He was standing right in front of her, alive, yet part of her mourned the loss of the relationship they had had for so long. Whatever was to happen, they would not be able to go back to normal if they could continue their marriage at all. 

“Husband.” Loki muttered with a laugh, “not in the way it counts.” 

“It mattered to me, to us. It hasn’t changed for me.” Synn pressed. 

“Did they tell you?” Loki walked along the edge of the cage, trying to look uninterested. Synn knew he was asking if she knew about his origin. She had known him for too long to fall for that, he was guarding his feelings, waiting for her to give him a reason to push her away. 

“Yes, they did, Loki.” Synn’s voice softened, she hadn’t expected that to be the first thing he asked. Did he still really think she would reject him over it?

“And?” Loki looked open, his tone dark but his wide eyes betraying his vulnerability. 

“It doesn’t change anything for me, I love you the same as I always have.” Synn reached her hand up out of instinct, so used to holding him when he was hurt. She hesitated, her hand inches from the glass. 

“How naive do you think I am, Synn,” Loki chuckled, devoid of any humour, “I know how much you fear them, me.”

“I don’t fear you, Loki, I didn’t for even a second. I am worried for you.” Synn tried to convey her feelings but they were lost on Loki, he was too tied up in his own hurt to see hers. 

“Oh Synn, always with your sympathy. Don’t you see I don’t want your pity, I am a God and these foolish mortals will bend to my will.” Loki spat, turning away from her and pacing to the other side of the cage. His anger enveloped him, creating this horrible exterior that he was parading to anyone who would listen. Synn would not let him distract her, all she could see was a scared boy, lashing out against those he thought would hurt him. 

“Did you ever stop to think how much you sound like your father?” Synn challenged. Loki turned on her, his eyes burning with rage. He stalked forward, his fists balled at his sides. 

“How dare you, I am nothing like Odin and he is certainly not my father.” Loki gritted out. 

“Then stop this, stop trying to prove that you’re something you’re not.” Synn pleaded, desperation seeping into her voice. They locked eyes, their stare heated, the love and anger they shared mixing together until Synn could not tell them apart. She wanted him back so badly yet he was set on his mission of self-destruction. 

A large boom sounded from far away, the ship shaking as it slowly started to descend. Synn lurched, holding onto the railing beside her. Loki smirked, he knew this was going to happen. 

“What have you done?” Synn asked in horror.

“Maybe you should join your new little friends,” He sneered, “you seemed awful close with Thor earlier, did you just hope from one prince to another?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Synn could not believe his suggestion, “I mourned your loss with Thor, if we have gotten closer as friends than that is on you.”

Loki peered down at her, standing still as the helicarrier shook around them. He looked at her and tilted his head towards the door, asking her to leave once more. 

“If you think I’m letting you out of ny sight again you are sorely mistaken.” Synn growled. 

“Suit yourself.” Loki waved his hand and an agent Synn had not seen enter stepped towards the control panel, freeing Loki from his cage in one push of a button. Why Synn thought it would hold him was beyond her. He took a step, closing the distance between them, standing only inches from her face, his hands clasped neatly behind his back. Synn didn’t back down, she could not let him win this, she could not let him think she was afraid of him. 

“No!” Came a shout from behind them. Turning to look she saw Thor hurtling towards his brother. Loki faced him and squared himself as if getting ready for the tackle. Synn watched as Thor jumped at Loki, but Loki was one step ahead. Thor went right through the illusion and into the open cage door. Loki appeared beside the control panel, closing the cage with his brother inside. 

“Are you ever not going to fall for that?” Loki gave his brother a gloating look. Thor yelled, smashing his hammer against the glass. The glass cracked, not fully breaking, as the cage jolted slightly downwards as though it was about to fall out of the helicarrier.

“The humans think us immortal. Should we test that?” Loki laughed as he walked towards the control panel, his hands hovering over the buttons. 

“Loki, he’s your brother!” Synn protested, walking towards him and putting a hand on his arm. It was the first time she had touched him since their argument on the balcony and it was to try to stop him from murdering Thor. How quickly this had all gone downhill was beyond her. 

“He’s no brother of mine.” Loki shot back, shrugging off her hand. Before Loki could send Thor hurtling towards the ground, the guard who had let Loki out yelled before falling with a loud thump on the floor. Standing behind him was Agent Coulson holding a weapon the size of his torso. 

“Move away, please.” He commanded, his weapon pointing directly at Loki. Loki paused, stepping slowly back from the control panel, watching Coulson warily. Synn also stepped back, she didn’t want to get hit in the crossfire should something go wrong. 

“You like this?” Coulson walked slowly towards Loki, “We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer. Even I don’t know what it does.” 

Coulson paused in his walk, powering up the weapon, an orange light shining dimly from within. 

“Do you want to find out?”

Before anyone could move and before Synn had time to shout a warning, Loki was behind Coulson. Synn watched helplessly as Loki rammed his scepter directly through Coulson’s chest as he cried out in pain. Loki’s image disappeared from beside Synn. 

“No!” Synn was not sure who had yelled, whether it was Thor or herself, or even both. There was no way Coulson could survive such a blow. He fell to the floor, Synn rushing forward to try to catch him but she wasn’t fast enough. Loki watched her as she fell to her knees beside the man, pressing her hands to his wound to try to stop the bleeding. Her hands squished wetly, soaking with his blood. She made eye contact with him, his face slack as his breathing was ragged. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered, tears stinging at her eyes. She may not have known this man well, but she felt she carried the blame. It was her husband who had stabbed him, her husband who still believed that she did not care for him. She gritted her jaw in frustration, why couldn’t she get through to him?

“Not your fault.” He coughed out, blood falling onto her face. She made no move to wipe it away, keeping her hands firmly pressed to his chest. She hoped Midgardian healing was more advanced than she had heard, he was losing so much blood, she watched as it dripped through her finger, running down the back of her hand. She had never seen an injury like this, she had never seen anyone dying before her, especially not by the hand of the man she loved. 

She looked back with a gasp as the floor opened beneath the cage, the air rushing into the room making her hair swirl around her face. Loki had pushed the button on the control panel, a smirk on his face. Synn saw him hesitate for a moment, his hand hovering over the button. Her heart broke for Thor, the betrayal and hurt written clearly on his face. No matter what Loki did he had held out hope he was not beyond redemption. Having watched his brother kill an innocent man in front of him had squashed any hope he had. 

Synn screamed as the cage dropped, Thor vanishing along with it. There was an eerie silence as Loki closed the hatch, the sound of Coulson’s laboured breathing filling the room. 

“You’re going to lose.” Coulson turned his head to look at Loki, a smug look on his face. His belief in the Avengers was admirable, she could feel his pride. 

“Am I?” Loki shot back, walking towards them. 

“It’s in your nature.” Coulson answered. Synn saw the anger flash in Loki’s eyes as he paced. 

“Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky,” Loki opened his arms, “where is my disadvantage?” 

“You lack conviction.” Blood started to trickle out the corner of Coulson’s mouth. Synn felt panic rise in her chest. 

“I don’t think I’m-“ Loki started to say but was brutally cut off when Coulson pressed the trigger on his weapon, firing a strong beam of energy towards Loki. It hit him in the chest, his arms and legs being thrown as he flew backwards, breaking through the wall behind him in a fiery explosion. Synn’s mouth gaped. She knew he deserved that after what he had done to Coulson, but it still made her heart flutter with anxiety to see him tossed about like a leaf on the wind. 

“So that’s what it does.” Coulson said, his eyes closing. 

“Stay with me Coulson, you can make it out of this.” Synn pleaded, the blood still runing thickly across her skin. She got no answer. She tried pating his cheeks with one hand, her other still pressed firmly on his wound. Nothing again. Synn hung her head, her tears finally spilling over her cheeks. Her body shook as she looked at the man before her, still breathing but barely holding on. 

“Don’t tell me you care for these mortals.” Loki hissed as he stood up slowly, pain written across his face. Synn did not pay him any attention. Annoyed, Loki limped over to her. 

“He is not worth your time, come with me before this ship falls out of the sky.” Loki said, reaching out his hand to help her up. 

“I am not better than him, you are not better than him, either help me or leave me alone!” Synn smacked his hand away, rage burning in her chest as angry tears splashed onto the ground. 

“I am not going to leave you here to die.” Loki grabbed her by the arm, hauling her up. Synn was so angry she didn’t know what to do with herself, the pain of the last year bubbling up and spilling over, hot and strong. 

“No!” She roared, her chest heaving. Synn grabbed his arm, catching him by surprise as she remembered her training with Sif. In one quick movement she flipped him over, his back crashing into the metal grate beneath them. His face morphed into one of surprise as she kneeled on his chest with her hands grabbing handfuls of his clothes by his shoulder. 

“I died the moment you left me alone on Asgard!” She sobbed, “How could you leave me? Why did you never give me a chance?!” 

She could see her grief reflected in Loki’s light green eyes, her tears hitting his face as she let her emotions lose. 

“I won’t leave you ever again, I promise.” He said, his face soft, his mask of hatred falling away for just a moment. It shocked Synn into stillness, her eyes still leaking tears as she stared at him. Loki reached up to brush her tears away. 

“I don’t believe you.” Synn spat, her heart torn between holding onto him like her life depended on it or throwing him out the hatch after his brother. 

“Ill prove it.” He promised. Synn couldn’t do anything else as he put a hand to the side of her head, a green glow emanating from him. Synn found her strength gone and her mind falling into darkness, collapsing on top of Loki. The last thing she saw was Coulson, his breathing having slowed even more and his face having gone an ashy white. She had so much more fight left in her, though her fight would have to wait. Loki picked up Synn’s unconscious form, slinging her over his shoulder. He pushed on, ignoring the emotions she had stirred in him as he brought them both onto a plane, soaring off to complete the last of his plan. He brushed the hair gently out of her face as he put her down beside him. Her face was serene and gentle, the tear tracks the only sign of her earlier strife. He hated that he had done this too her, he hadn’t thought that she would still care for him as much as she had. He hadn’t expected her to make the journey to Midgard just for him and put a wrench in his plans. Yet, looking down at her restful form, he couldn’t help the longing in his heart. He needed her more than he wanted to admit. 

Chapter 20

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Synn came to she slowly sat up, her head pounding as she took in her surroundings. The place was unfamiliar to her. She was sat on a cold floor facing towards huge floor to ceiling windows. From what she could tell they were high up in a building, a walkway stretching outside. There was a bar to her side and a few boxes laying about the room. In the centre, looking out the windows with his hands clasped behind his back was Loki. 

Synn groaned as she pressed the palm of her hands against her eyes. It took a few moments for the pain to pass, it slowly ebbed away, allowing her mind to be clear again. She quickly pulled her hands away from her face, remembering how she had been covered in Coulson’s blood. She swallowed her naseau when she saw the dried blood caked under her fingernails and the slight red tinge to her skin. However, they had been cleaned, something she was not sure how she felt about. 

When she looked away from her hands she saw that Loki had turned around to look at her. His face was less guarded than it had been on the hellicarrier. He watched her apprehensively, his eyes darting about as they always did when he was nervous. She met his gaze, her face settling into disappointment. 

“Why,” She croaked, “why are you doing all of this?”

“It is what I’m owed.” Loki walked closer towards her, stopping only a few feet from where she sat. She stood up, her legs stiff as she stretched them. She shook her head, she was tired of this game. 

“Is it? Because your father lied to you, you are now owed all of Midgard.” Synn challenged. 

“You wouldn’t understand.” Loki lifted his chin up, trying to have an air of superiority. Synn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. 

“What, because I don’t have a father? You already tried that one, remember?” Synn said sarcastically. She was drained from the earlier fight and recent kidnapping. She could feel her pain and anger swirling low in her belly, sure they would return to the forefront soon, but she lacked the energy to bring them out herself. 

“How could you even begin to understand what I’ve gone through, what I’ve had to do to get here?” Loki growled. 

“What happened after you fell, something else happened, didn’t it?” Synn furrowed her brow. “I saw the way you looked when we first found you.” 

“Nothing happened.” He gritted out. 

“It would be easier for me to understand if you stopped shutting me out,” Synn remarked, “you don’t have to keep hiding things from me. After everything that has happened I still care about you, Loki. I want you to come home.”

“Home?” Loki scoffed, turning to pace a few steps away from her, his cape swishing as he walked. “Asgard is not my home.”

“Where is then? Is Jotunheim your home?” Synn asked, Loki twitchedat the mention of his birth-father’s planet. He said nothing, staring ahead, out the window towards the planet he was so intent on conquering. 

“Do you really think I won’t love you anymore? You being a Frost Giant has no impact on how I feel about you.” Synn switched gears, they needed to talk about this. There was so much that Loki had done, so much that he would not share with her, he had hurt so many people, yet she knew that none of it would change how much she cared for him. Maybe they would never be as they once were, happy and together, but she would not let him think that she did not love him for a moment longer. 

“I am of the race that killed your parents, tore your family from you, something evil that parents would tell their children ghost stories about,” Loki rounded on her, marching back to where she stood, so close she could feel his hot breath on her face, “Are you really that blind to my faults?” 

“I know your faults, I know the harm you’ve caused, but I also know the good that lives inside of you. I am not afraid of you.” Synn leaned closer, poking him in the chest. She could feel her anger coming back up and burning it’s way out of her mouth. 

“Liar!” Loki roared, grabbing her by the arms and shoving her against the wall behind her, pinning her in place. The air was knocked out of her, having not expected him to grab her like that, she had not been prepared. 

“Go ahead, hurt me, show me that the Loki I love is truly gone,” Synn said, a sob escaping her throat, this was it, it was breaking her to have to continue to fight him on this when she no longer knew if there was any hope left for him, “You wouldn’t let me in, you cast my love to the side over and over again, you refuse to believe what is right there in front of you. How do I prove to you that I speak the truth when you only hear what you want to hear?” 

Loki loosened his grip on her arms but didn’t let go, his breath coming in angry pants as he stared down at her. 

“I tried to hate you, for all you’ve done to me, your family, even the people of Midgard. Yet no matter these terrible acts, I still love you more than I could ever express, there's nothing you can do that would make me love you any less, no matter who you were born to, I know there is nothing that could change the way I feel about you, Frost Giant or no.” Synn poured her heart out, desperate for Loki to listen. She was spent, her body giving in to the sadness that felt like it swallowed her whole. She looked at her husband, an almost unrecognizable face staring back at her and she cried. She cried for her pain, for the pain of all of those who had suffered at his hands, and for the pain he was clearly trying to hide. They stayed there, neither moving, Loki trying hard to keep his walls up. Yet as he looked at the woman he loved, the misery written as clear as day on her face, he felt himself break. How could he stand there and continue to hurt her like this, he did not feel he deserved her loyalty, her love, but she deserved the truth. She could do with that what she will. 

“My whole life has been a lie,” He whispered, his resolve cracking, his eyes brimming with tears, “how was I supposed to go back? How could you stand to look at me knowing the monster I am inside. I'm a Frost Giant, Frost Giants killed your parents, how do I not disgust you?” 

Synn’s tears dried as she searched his face, a small kindling of hope burning in her chest. 

“The actions of the Jotun so many years ago were not your fault, you are not the Frost Giant who killed my parents and that is all that matters.” Synn refuted. She had been afraid when they had attacked Asgard initially. Over the past year she had had so much time to think, and she had realized her fear was irrational. If Loki was Jotun then she had nothing to inherently fear from Frost Giants, a race she had been led to believe was all bad clearly was not. 

“Everything that happened to us was under false pretences, none of it was real. Our marriage, our love, everything was a lie.” Loki’s voice broke, finally allowing his vulnerability to show. He let go of Synn’s arms, looking down at their feet. Synn brushed her hand across his cheek, finding tears having started to roll down his face. She lifted his head, bringing his eye contact back to hers. 

“Your father was wrong to lie to you, he used you and that is unforgivable,” Synn started, her voice strong in her conviction, “but our love has never been a lie. I’ve loved you since we were children and no matter how much I tried to deny it, my heart would not be silent. There is not a day that goes by that I regret our marriage to you, I believe it’s real so it is real. It can be real for you too.” 

“It’s not that simple.” Loki scoffed through his tears, his mouth forming a humourless smile. 

“But it can be,” Synn insisted, “do you not still love me?” 

“I love you more than I ever thought I could.” He said, putting his hands gently on her waist. Synn felt relief flood her as she heard his words, she could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. He still loved her, she still loved him. No matter what they had gone through, their love would never be diminished. 

“Then please trust me, know that I am not lying to you, let me help you.” Synn pleaded. Loki nodded, his hands clutching at the clothes around her waist. Synn let out a shaky breath as she brought his face to hers, their mouths crashing in a desperate need for one another. Loki wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. She could taste the salt from his tears and feel his longing in the way he gently caressed her. There was still so much more that needed to be done, but in that short, sweet moment, they were transported back to a time when they were happy, just glad that they got the chance to tell the other how they truly felt. 

Synn pulled back, reluctant to part from Loki, their faces hovering only inches apart. She kept her eyes closed and pressed their foreheads together. 

“Please, Loki, come back with me. Put a stop to this.” She whispered, her lips lightly brushing his as she spoke. Loki stood with her, saying nothing, a battle raging inside him. He had come so far, having risked so much for his shot at ruling. Yet all his heart wanted was to run away with Synn, trust in her and make up for the time he had spent away. As he heard the roaring of Iron Man’s suit outside he wondered; could he possibly have both. 

Loki pulled back, fixing Synn with a determined look. 

“I have to finish this.” He said, a green shimmer running over him to hide away the tear tracks and red brimmed eyes. Synn screwed her eyes shut, she had truly thought it had worked, that she had finally gotten through to him. She had been wrong, she was not enough to make him stop this tirade. She sunk to the floor, putting her head in her hands and bringing her knees to her chest as he picked up his sceptre and greeted Stark. 

She couldn’t hear them speak, the blood rushing in her ears as she tried to make sense of it all. She could still taste him on her lips, his familiar spiced scent filling her nose. What once would have made her feel calm and at peace only made her mind rage inside. She should have expected this, he had changed in ways she couldn’t fathom. She had been so naive to think that her love could change him, he could only change if he wanted to, something he clearly wasn’t ready to do. 

There was a loud crashing noise, the sound of glass shattering. Synn didn’t look up, apathy had consumed her. There was nothing she could do, she had no powers to fight, the only thing she had thought she could do was get through to Loki, pull him out of the dark pit he was trapped in. She had tried so hard but in the end he had swatted her helping hand away, preferring to stay wrapped up in his dark thoughts. 

She heard Loki cry out as a body skidded against the floor but made no move to help him. He had made it clear he wanted to be on his own so she would indulge him. 

Synn heard foosteps walk towards her, the sound of leather bending as Loki kneeled at her side. 

“Synn, please walk with me.” Synn made no move, her head staying buried in her knees, arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Loki held her hand, gently pulling, trying to get her to her feet. She had no energy to resist. She looked up at him, seeing a flash of worry cross his eyes as he looked at the dead inside expression on her face. He pulled her to her feet, his arm wrapped around her waist to support her as they walked. She lulled her head towards the floor, her hair hanging limply along with it. 

Loki looked down at her, fear seizing his chest. He had never seen her like this, she was always so full of life and passion. She walked with all the life of a revived corpse, her disinterest apparent by the apathetic expression he had seen on her face earlier. His guilt rose, he had done this to her, he had broken the woman he loved in his pursuit of power. He wanted nothing more than to piece her back together, hoping his next show of faith would breathe some life back into her. 

They walked outside, the wind blowing her hair around her face. They were high up, no railings to protect them from falling. Synn felt nothing as she looked over the edge, only the emptiness in her as she stood, being held up by her husband, on the edge of the platform. 

“Synn,” Loki urged, guiding her to look at him like she had done to him only minutes earlier, “I meant it when I said I love you, I want to be with you, but you know just as well as I do that that will never be allowed to happen again on Asgard.” 

He was right, Loki would be jailed for his crimes for gods know how long. If he was allowed any visitors it would never be the same, there would be guards watching them and they would never be allowed to get close. 

“I’m doing this for us, this could all be ours, we could be here, the two of us ruling together. No one could split us up, we could be happy.” Loki grabbed her hands in his, his face earnest and open. Synn wished with her whole being that it could be true, that they had a place somewhere where they could be together. A life without ever being able to touch Loki, kiss him until her lips couldn’t take it anymore sounded horrible. She would always love him, always want to be with him, but not at the expense of billions of people. He didn’t see the error of his ways and Synn could not allow either of them to give into the fantasy. 

“This is not what I want.” Synn swallowed, the disappointment on Loki’s face tearing at her soul. 

“Why not? How else can we be together?” Loki asked. 

“I’ll always love you but I don’t want to be with you like this, not at the expense of billions of people suffering.” Synn took her hands out of his, her brain screaming at her to take it back, she wanted Loki, she wanted any possibility of them being together. Yet it wasn’t right, it wasn’t healthy, this side of Loki would only continue to hurt her whether he meant to or not. He was self-destructive and if she stayed beside him she would be sucked into his dark pit of despair, unable to reach the surface, unable to breath. 

“Fine, I don’t need you,” Loki echoed his statement he had said to her before locking her away on that balcony, ““I’ll do this on my own.”

“You didn’t have to.” Synn turned around, no longer able to bear the betrayed look on Loki’s face. As she walked away she heard the familiar swoosh of Thor, his cape flying in the wind, landing on the walkway behind her. Loki growled in frustration, clutching white knuckled to his sceptre, turning to face his brother. 

Synn walked back inside, leaning against the bar, keeping her vision trained towards the inside of the room. She didn’t want to watch her unrecognizable husband fight his brother, it brought up more pain than she was capable of handling. 

Synn waited there until she couldn’t hear the sounds of fighting anymore. When she turned to look both Thor and Loki had disappeared. She tried to ignore her anxiety rising, there was nothing she could do, she couldn’t match their fighting skills and she was done chasing after Loki. She would be here if he decided to come to her, she would never turn him away, but he had to make that decision. He had to decide what was more important to him. 

She watched as the Chitauri flew around, their huge beasts crashing into buildings and knocking debris on to civilians below. She could hear the chorus of screams coming from the city below. Her stomach churned, how many people had to die as a result of her husband’s actions?

Loki came into view, flying on a Chitauri ship. She lurched forward as an explosion went off right beside his face, launching him onto the platform below. He tumbled down, luckily not falling to his death off the side of the tower. He got up, straightening his clothes and brushing the dirt off. Out of nowhere a large green mass came hurtling towards him, grabbing Loki and throwing him backwards into the room, crashing through the window. Synn had only just managed to launch herself out of the way, glass hitting her body like nails as it cut through her skin. 

Loki hit the back wall, the stone crumbling behind him as he landed on his stomach. The beast pounded his fists against the ground, his muscles rippling. He was wearing only a pair of purple shorts, his eyes crazy with rage. He was breathing hard as he squared up with Loki. 

“Enough!” Loki shouted, jumping up, “You are, all of you beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature and I will not be bullied by-“

Before Loki could finish his sentence, the beast grabbed him by the ankle and beat him against the ground with enough force to gouge a hole in the floor. Synn’s jaw dropped, Loki was tossed around like a ragdoll, yelling as he was hit over and over again into the floor. 

“Stop!” She yelled, fearful that if he continued Loki would not be able to take much more. The beast shot her a look, holding Loki up by his ankle, his head lolling about. He threw Loki one last time, leaving him in the crater of his own making. 

“Puny god.” The beast said, leaving Loki and heading back the way he came. Loki groaned, his voice coming out airy and high pitched. Synn walked over to him, sitting heavily beside his battered body. 

“I guess that’s one way to do it.” Synn sighed. Loki’s face was battered and bruised, his nose likely broken along with at least a few of his ribs. He had lost, surely he had to know that. 

“Ready to stop?” Synn asked, breaking the silence. 

“Never.” Loki fumed, his voice was light, his lungs still not having recovered from the beating he just took. 

“Okay.” Synn shrugged. 

“Do you really care so little?” Loki demanded, “I offer you the world, a chance for us to be together again, and you turn it down. I thought you said that was what you wanted.”

“I care more than you know,” Synn shot back, “but you chose your quest for power over us, this is on you.”

“I offered for you to join me, it was power for us both.” Loki stared at her, the disappointment and resentment clear in his gaze. He truly couldn’t understand what was wrong or how he was the one to blame. 

“Do you really not know me at all? All that time we spent together and you think I would want an army to destroy a whole planet just for a shot at power?” Synn asked. There was no venom in her words, only empathy. He had lost so much of his own sense of self that he had lost the idea of who she was as well. He looked at those who once loved him and could only see the deceit and pain he was forced to endure. Until the time came where he saw that she was, and always had been, there for him, he would not fully understand who she was and who they were to each other. 

Out of the corner of Synn’s eye she watched as Natasha Romanoff picked up Loki’s sceptre which had been lost on the walkway outside when the beast had tossed him. How she had gotten past them without either of them noticing was beyond her. Synn needed to distract Loki, make doubly sure that he wouldn’t see the other woman. 

She reached out instinctively, brushing a few stray hairs out of his face. He closed his eyes at her touch, unable to help but give in to the way his body reacted to hers. She had always been a close comfort, holding his hand, his face, running her fingers gently through his hair as he fell asleep. She’d always touched him, hugging him as tight as she could ever since they were children. It was so natural to them that even though they had never felt more like strangers to each other, they still couldn’t resist the bond they shared. 

She let her fingers find their place in his hair, racking through the long strands. He’d never let his hair grow this long before, it was as long as hers. 

“I couldn’t sleep in our bed,” Synn started, her voice barely a whisper, Loki opening his eyes to look up at the grief clouding her face, “your memory was too strong there. I couldn’t open my eyes without seeing remnants of you scattered about and I couldn’t lie on that mattress knowing we had shared so many nights there but never would again.” 

Synn took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady as she let her brain fill with the never ending grief she had dealt with over the past year.

“I’ve been living with Asta,” Synn smiled, her cousin’s cheeky smile and playful attitude coming to her mind, “she kept me sane, though she did not fully understand my grief. She tried but she had no similar experiences, no one that was close to her who has passed.” 

Loki watched her, saying nothing as she continued to spill the story she had wanted to tell him since she first saw him on the flying ship. 

“I spent a lot of time with Thor,” Synn furthered, watching Loki’s brow furrow, “you were right, we have gotten closer, but not in the way you implied. He was one of the only ones who understood what I was going through. We talked a lot about you, bonded over losing you, sharing memories. But I also saw how it affected your mother.”

Loki’s face changed at the mention of his mother. Synn knew how close they were, his mother had been a constant source of love in his life, even before Synn. She had taught him everything he knew of magic and brought him up to be the caring person he used to be. 

“I’ve never seen her like that, her glow was dampened, she spent little time out of the palace. I only saw her once and when I spoke with her her tone was devoid of any hope. She loves you, Thor loves you, I love you, and yet you left us to think you were dead,” Synn paused her combing of his hair, her hand coming to rest on his cheek, “you act as though no one loves you, could ever love the monster you claim to be, but we do. We care for you so much we risked everything to get here, everything to try to bring you home.” 

“I don’t deserve it.” Loki croaked, his voice dry and scratchy like he was holding back tears. 

“That’s not for you to decide,” Synn gently rubbed her thumb along his cheekbone, “you have our love whether you want it or not. What is for you to decide is if you will accept it. Will you keep us at arms distance, too afraid of our rejection to trust that we know our own feelings, or will you let us in, let us care for you as we so desperately want to?” 

Loki was quiet, Synn’s words ringing in his ears. They felt like strangers to each other. They had once been so close but now it felt like they were on opposite sides of a planet, reaching out for one another but never able to make their fingers touch. Maybe if Loki could just let his walls down for one moment, they could hold each other once more. Could he come back from this? Would there ever be a place for him in this family again? He couldn’t picture it, but as he looked at the hope in Synn’s eyes, the care she so clearly had for him, he didn’t think he could handle letting her down again. 

“I am truly sorry for all the hurt I have caused you, Synn. That was not my intention, you are the last person I wanted to be involved in this.” Loki explained, reaching his incredibly sore arm up to hold her hand where it rested on his cheek. 

“I know,” Synn assured him, “make it up to me and come home.” 

Loki nodded, letting go of her hand. He struggled to move out of the ditch he was in. Synn helped him into a semi-seated position on the stairs. She stood up as the elevator doors dinged, opening to reveal the very battered group of people who had just put a stop to Loki’s plans. She nodded at Thor, a sad look in her eyes. The look on Thor’s face was harder, but it melted when he saw the state she was in. She could feel the cuts stinging on her face from when the glass had shattered around her, her eyes red-brimmed and tired from her tears, her cheeks puffy. She was not a fighter like them, but she had put up a fight of her own, one she was proud of herself for. 

They gathered around Loki, their weapons drawn and ready, as he pushed himself up more. Their glares were intense, hatred brimming in their eyes. 

“If it’s all the same to you,” Loki chuckled, “I think I’ll have that drink now.”

SUMMARY of END:

They take Loki in, Synn stays with him while they get Shawarma. She leaves and cries, he is alive and she got close but now he no longer will look at her even when she begs. Thor comforts her “i was so close thor, i almost got through to him, i know he is still in there.” Or “maybe… maybe my hope was misplaced? The man I love, could he really be gone so quickly? But i thought i was getting through to him yet he still wouldn’t stop”

Thor comforts her and they take Loki back to Asgard.

Thor 2: Synn believes Loki to be dead at the end and he lets her for a time to make her grief prove to Thor that Loki is dead, but once Thor goes off world Loki reveals himself but she is so angry at him she won't speak to him.

Thor Ragnarok: She has to flee with the other Asgardians, but her aunt and uncle die. Her and Asta and Asta's wife + kids make it out alive thanks to their sacrifice. 

Avengers Endgame: Loki comes to find her on the ship and he apologizes in a very Loki way if you know what I mean. Synn tells him that she can't deal with him right now and that she is still grieving her aunt and uncle. Loki offers platonic comfort and she takes it. Thanos attacks and Loki dies and Synn is distraught and guilt-ridden as she didn't get to absolve their fight. 

Avengers Infinity War: Synn goes to the 2012 Avengers infinity stone mission and sees Loki grab the tesseract and grabs him at the same time, transporting them both to that dessert

Loki TV show: They both get arrested by the TVA - but this is where my planning ended. Likely the events wouldn't have changed, expect Loki wouldn't have fallen for Sylvie. But Sylvie would have vaguely remembered her Synn from before she was taken, and they would have gotten along well. 

Notes:

Please feel free to ask any questions you may still have and I will try to answer them as best as I can.