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When Remus opened the Chaos Bakery it was as much for something to pass the time as a way to pay the bills. Since he married Virgil however it became a lot more of a game than either of those things.
The picture Virgil had given him when first attempting to ask him out was still stuck to the wall, looking as much cradled by Mr Crack as whatever Remus had actually painted for him to hold. He'd long forgotten what was underneath Virgil's picture and quite liked that. It could be a surprise if they ever sold this place, the discovery of what Remus's squid mural was actually meant to be cradling.
Today Virgil had said he'd look after the till and serving customers so Remus could manage the chaos. It was definitely beyond time for some chaos to be managed regardless since the menu was getting worryingly close to normal flavours and their cupboards actually appeared half way organised after Virgil had been doing the cooking and stock taking more often recently. They couldn't let the cafe lose it's main charm of bizarre flavour combinations.
“This is Not What I Ordered!” The snap had Remus turning to the window he'd pass orders through. He hadn't changed any of the orders Virgil had given him, and mixing up a drink order was the last thing either of them would do. Weird flavours are all well and good but risking someone having a bad allergic reaction was another.
“Pretty sure you insisted on the basic coffee we sell. If you read the menu today's basic coffee is pre salted. The drink is what you got and if you wanted something else actually looking at the menu is the usual method for getting it.” Virgil hissed out, the glare in his voice was one Remus loved to cause occasionally, especially with compliments on how vicious his ideas could be.
Before Remus could think to much on that though he heard the most exciting words get called out, almost yelled by the customer. “Where's Your Manager! I want to make a complaint!”
He was flipping into a handstand before he could hear Virgil's snicker. “If you're sure you want me to fetch him, just a minute.”
They'd agreed when their relationship became serious and Virgil decided to help out in the cafe that whomever was working the kitchen would be the effective manager for the day since neither wanted the responsibility of the title all the time. Both of them would share the role if they ever decided to hire more staff but for now it was purely who was in the kitchen was the manager.
It's almost a shame when the kitchen door opens for Remus, Virgil already stood out of the way knowing that the demand for the manager had been heard. He'd wanted to open it with his toes and shock whichever harpy was causing a fuss to silence.
“Behold, the manager of this fine establishment. Though I don't see what you think asking for him is going to get you.” Virgil was already moving into the kitchen, food orders he'd recently taken in hand.
The customer, a blonde woman in absurd heels Remus wanted to turn into weapons but knew would never be so imaginatively used by their owner, tapped her foot. “Well. Aren't you going to face me, or is it normal in this sty to wave your feet in the face of paying customers?”
There were sniggers from a few tables that Remus guessed held their regulars. “I am facing you and wondering just how tight those shoes must be to remove your sense of humour so entirely.” He called up, wobbling back a step, just enough to see her face.
“I'm making a formal complaint. Your barrista added salt to my coffee when I distinctly ordered it plain.” She glared down, leaning over the counter to meet Remus's eyes.
He just stretched a leg towards their menu. “Can you read this line or are harpy's not taught how to read when learning to blend in with human society?” He asked, more certain than ever that he'd remain upside down while this karen was in his cafe.
She followed his leg with a sigh, reading aloud, “This weeks coffee grounds come pre-salted. For any ingredients lists or allergens advice check the menu, just ask, or pray to Mr Crack on the right hand wall for divine inspiration.”
“And that's your complaint resolved. You failed to read what it plainly written on our menu and are causing a fuss over something in plain sight. Obviously Mr Crack did not bless you with wisdom, but curse you with an unfortunate sense of taste. Time for you to leave.” He couldn't help cackling a little as she'd stepped back after finishing reading, realising her anger was going to get her nowhere.
For a few moments Remus thought she wasn't going to leave and decided to try making a coffee for himself just using his feet. Apparently seeing him pick up tools with them was enough for the rude customer to leave the store as close to running as she could in stilettos that high.
“I'll not have my husband scold himself because he wants to remain upside down. Up, now you talking circus act.” Virgil had come out of the kitchen and was snatching away everything Remus needed to make his coffee, even disconnecting it from the machine if necessary.
“Aww, Rainstorm, you do me harm with so little trust in my abilities.” Remus still flipped himself upright again, kissing his husband before he could react properly.
Virgil rolled his eyes, shooing him back towards the kitchen. “I do no such thing. We've got more customers to serve a bit of madness to and you only delay it when you're in an upside down mindset.”
They were both snickering as they returned to their roles for the rest of the day. Remus had had a blast opening this cafe and running it alone, but having the love of his rotting heart run it alongside him was even better.