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“So I guess this is your last day in camp, isn’t it?” Murphy asked. Bellamy had decided to let Murphy sleep in his tent since nobody else would even dare look at him recently, and it wasn’t like he hated him. It was almost the exact opposite, actually.
“I guess so,” He replied. He lied down on top of a few blankets, and rolled over so he was facing Murphy, who was currently sitting up and drinking some of the moonshine they still had. Monty had made way too much, but now with him and another 47 up at Mount Weather, they were all grateful for the moonshine.
“Well, I’m shit at giving advice, but I guess just try not to die,” Murphy told him sincerely, before sarcastically adding in “oh yeah, and try to get me a leather jacket.” Bellamy let out a small laugh, glad that at least one person hadn’t lost their sense of humor. Everybody else was avoiding him that night like he was a ticking time bomb. Bellamy figured that they didn’t want to upset him or make him more nervous, but everybody ignoring him just ended up in him feeling like he wasn’t going to make it back, which was a bad feeling to have, he thought.
“Thanks, Murph’,” He responded, realizing he just accidentally gave Murphy a nickname. Maybe he didn’t notice that. It wasn’t that it was a huge thing, but he couldn’t let himself confess his feelings for Murphy, especially right before he was about to leave him and everybody else at the camp.
“No problem, Bel’,” Murphy winked. He definitely noticed. Murphy laughed as he noticed Bellamy starting to blush, but on the inside he was wondering if Bellamy had the same feelings that he did. He probably doesn’t. I mean, who would actually fall in love with me after I tried to kill them? He gulped down the rest of the moonshine, hoping that it might finally give fill him up with enough apathy to finally admit that he was in love with Bellamy. As much as he tried to act like he didn’t care (and for the most part, he didn’t), Murphy knew he cared way too much for Bellamy, and knew that it wasn’t just because he was a good leader or because he was a nice guy, although he certainly was both. Maybe I’ll finally be able to tell him I love him when I’m too drunk to remember anything else. Ha, that might just work. Still, for the rest of the night he didn’t grab any more moonshine.
Eventually Bellamy started getting restless and began complaining about how he couldn’t get to sleep. It was usual, but tonight it was harder than normal to get any sort of rest, especially when the fate of 47 kids was resting on his back.
“Can’t get to sleep, can you?” Murphy observed. He usually didn’t sleep because he knew he would get nightmares, whether it be of his time in the grounder camp, Finn’s recent death, Charlotte jumping off that cliff, or even the time he got the flu. The flu especially though, since it had inadvertently gotten his dad killed on the Ark, and the one he brought back from the grounder camp had almost killed him.
“No, I’m totally able to get to sleep,” Bellamy said while rolling his eyes. He hadn’t meant for the comment to come off as rude, but when Murphy gave him a frown he knew that’s what it sounded like. “Sorry, didn’t mean for it to sound rude.”
“It’s fine, seriously. If it means anything, which it probably doesn’t, I can’t ever get to sleep either.”
“I’ve seen you asleep a few times though when I’ve walked into our tent.”
“I guess you didn’t notice how drunk I was those nights then,” He mumbled, just coherent enough for Bellamy to be able to figure out what he was saying. Instead of responding, Bellamy sat up and wrapped his arm around Murphy’s waist. For once, Murphy finally felt relaxed. It’s not going to last. Bellamy leaves tomorrow, he reminded himself. Don’t get too close to him. He couldn’t help leaning in just a little closer to him, however, and ended up with his head resting on Bellamy’s shoulder.
“Hey Murphy, if I tell you something can you promise to keep quiet about it?”
“I’m probably going to regret this, but yeah, I guess. Unless it ends up getting tortured out of me by the grounders in the near future,” Murphy added on, just to gauge Bellamy’s reaction, which ended up in him sighing and giving him a sympathetic look. Instead of him usually rolling his eyes at any sort of affection, he let himself be pitied for once in his life. It’s not like I’ve got anything to lose at this point, except maybe gun privileges.
“I just don’t want to have any regrets when I leave to Mount Weather tomorrow, so I guess now would be the time to admit that I like you, as more than just a friend,” Bellamy admitted. Murphy’s face went blank as he tried to figure out some sort of response. I can’t do this, he’s leaving tomorrow. Then again, this could be my only chance left. Don’t be stupid, Murphy, you know you’ve wanted to kiss him for forever now. Just do it.
“Well, that was uh, unexpected,” He gulped before finishing; “I feel the same about you though.” They sat in silence for a few seconds, not sure of where to go from there, until Bellamy pressed his lips onto Murphy’s. Murphy moved so he could sit in Bellamy’s lap while the kiss continued, slower at first, and mixed with the faint taste of moonshine. Murphy started to run his fingers through the small curls of Bellamy’s hair, finally feeling like for once in his life, something was going right. Eventually they pulled back, needing to catch their breath. Their foreheads were still touching, and neither of them wanted to stop kissing, but Bellamy knew he needed rest if his trip to Mount Weather had any chance of ending well, and he lied down with Murphy lying next to him. Bellamy wrapped his arms around Murphy, never wanting to let go of the person he loved most in this camp besides his little sister.
Morning came too quickly, Murphy decided. Bellamy was frantically making sure he had everything he could possibly need packed up, and seemed to be more of a mess than Murphy ever thought possible. He tried to calm him down, but he knew Bellamy wasn’t going to be calm until he was back safe from Mount Weather, along with the other 47 still up there. A few hours passed, and suddenly everybody was crowded around Lincoln and Bellamy in the middle of camp. Everybody was telling them “good luck” and wishing them well, and Octavia was expectedly giving Lincoln a long goodbye kiss, clearly on the verge of tears. Murphy would’ve said he was perfectly fine, but that would’ve been a lie that everybody could see past. Clarke had noticed something was worse than usual with Murphy that morning, and had reminded him that they wouldn’t be gone for that long, and that they had a backup plan in case things went wrong.
“I know it’ll be weird with Bellamy gone, but it’s for the good of everybody, you’ll see,” She assured him. He had waved her away, not wanting to hear it.
As Bellamy was about to exit through the gates, Murphy ran up to him, eyes tinged red, which Bellamy presumed was from crying. Murphy wrapped him into the tightest hug possible, not wanting to ever let him go.
“Murphy, I’ll be fine, I promise,” Bellamy told him, trying to get himself to believe it. Murphy felt tears starting to fall, and seconds later pulled Bellamy into a kiss, not caring who saw at this point. After the short kiss goodbye, Murphy finally let him go.
“Hey Bellamy,” He choked out, “Don’t die, okay?”
“I won’t. And hey, maybe I’ll even grab you a leather jacket if I get lucky.”