Work Text:
Never good, just the bad and the ugly
Laid in front of you
Nothing quite like seeing the world through the TV's window
Friday 13 March 2020
Miranda tore her eyes away from the news channel and reached for her phone. She had to text the person she cared about most, the one who was always the first she wanted to talk to.
20:04
From: Miranda
Did you see the announcement? Lockdown to be confirmed tomorrow. Doesn’t feel real! :/
20:07
From: Max
Yeah. Can I come over? I don’t want to be by myself tonight.
20:08
From: Miranda
Of course. I’m pretty worried about the situation too. You ok?
20:10
From: Max
Not really. Tell you when I get there.
Feeling helpless I look for distraction
I go searching for you,
Wandering through our city to find some solace at your door
Max grabbed a jacket and his keys and left his apartment hurriedly. He considered stopping at Joan’s bar on his way; Carmen would be working what was likely to be her last shift in a while. It wouldn’t be such a detour to go in: the bar was in the next plaça from his building. He decided against it, not because he and Carmen had broken up - they’d remained good friends, but because he knew it was Miranda he needed. Nobody else would do right now.
He strode off in the direction of El Molinar, keen to cross the distance to her seafront home as quickly as he could on foot. He’d opted not to take his BMW even though that would have got him there in a third of the time; he really needed some air. It felt like everyone would be trapped indoors imminently, so he would have his last little freedom tonight.
It was dark by now and the streets were almost deserted. Most people were trying to avoid being out in public. There were only a handful of confirmed Covid-19 cases on Mallorca, but that looked sure to rise, and word was that many with it were asymptomatic, so it was likely silently spreading already. Caution seemed wise.
The breeze picked up as he got nearer to the bay and by the time he reached the promenade along the water’s edge that would take him to Miranda, he needed to pull his jacket tightly around him. Above him he spotted bats swooping, hunting the nocturnal insects attracted by the streetlights. Would these murciélagos notice in a few days that all the humans had disappeared, he wondered. Odd to think that some bats far away in China could be the source of this terrible disease now turning lives upside down across the world. He hadn’t expected it to affect him too, not so soon.
He quickened his pace as he turned the corner into Miranda’s street. He was desperate to be with his friend. When he could see her home at last, he felt all his emotions bubbling up. He’d been suppressing them on his journey over, but he just couldn’t any longer.
Miranda spotted him approaching from her position on the balcony. She leaned over and called to him that the door was open and to let himself in. In the darkness she couldn’t make out his expression very well and it didn’t sound like he had replied, but she thought she caught a nod of his head.
Miranda raced down the stairs. It wasn’t like him not to shout out a greeting, to acknowledge her with a wave and a grin. After his terse texts earlier and now his uncharacteristically quiet arrival, she was really worried about him.
I can't stop thinking about it
I can't stop thinking about it
Tell me, did you see the news tonight?
Max stood at the bottom of the couple of steps up to the living area. He wasn’t smiling; he looked dejected, helpless. Miranda’s stomach clenched with fear and pity. She quickly crossed the distance between them and stood on the top step in front of him. Like this they were about the same height and she could see now that his eyes were brimming with tears.
“Max!” she cried with concern. “What’s wrong? The lockdown? It’s not helping my anxiety, but we’ll get through it.”
“No,” he shook his head sadly, looking down at the floor beyond his partner. “It’s... It’s my dad... He’s in hospital. He was in Milan on business and now he’s got it. He’s really sick... I don’t know if...” He couldn’t get any more words out.
“Oh, Max... I’m so sorry,” she said with genuine compassion. Always a practical person, she felt she needed to find some way to help him. What could she do or say that would be anywhere near sufficient to comfort him though?
Hold me in this wild, wild world
Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be
And in your heat I feel how cold it can get
Now draw me close
He looked up and they met each other’s gaze for a second, before he suddenly lurched forward with a sob and put his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder. She pulled one arm tightly across his back, holding him close, and with her other hand she tenderly stroked his wavy hair.
They stayed like this for so long that they lost track of time, both taking what they needed from the other’s touch: safety, support, solace.
So come on, let's forget the emotion
Tie the blinkers on
Hold both hands right over my eyes
Deafen me with music
'Till we're lost in the heat of the moment
And I'm moving and you
Help me keep these hours alive
Help me chase those seconds
Eventually Max pulled himself away slightly. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
“I wish I could really help. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.
He shook his head. “Distract me please. I’ve thought about it all evening. There’s nothing I can do for him. I need to think about something else. I want to forget for a couple of hours.”
“What would take your mind off it? A film? A box set? Bottle of wine?” She would go along with just about anything he wanted right now if it would alleviate his pain.
He thought for a moment. “I don’t feel like sitting around. I need to do something - I need to feel alive. Dance with me?” he asked tentatively, not at all sure that she would agree.
She nodded, remembering that their last dance had almost ended in a kiss. The chances of that happening tonight were slim; it wouldn’t be right for her to try anything or give him any signals with the emotional state he was in.
They moved up to the balcony, coats wrapped around them against the chill of the spring night. Miranda lit tea lights and arranged them in lanterns while Max set up the music.
Aware that he was standing ready behind her, she turned round to face him. He pulled her in close and began to sway them both to the music. It was a slow song she didn’t recognise, the tempo matching his subdued mood.
They danced to a few songs like this, Miranda eventually resting her head against his chest. She closed her eyes to concentrate on the thumping of his heartbeat. Her own was racing from being held so near. She had wanted him to touch her like this again for so long.
Max found Miranda’s warmth gradually taking his mind off his worry for his father and he pulled his jacket open, safe from the cold now he had her. He bent down to kiss the top of her head. He felt her jump slightly at this; had he misread all the signs he’d thought she’d been giving him lately? No, he decided, she just wasn’t expecting it, not now. She was probably holding back tonight out of respect for his feelings too. He wished she wouldn’t; his dad’s sudden illness had made him adopt a carpe diem mentality and he wasn’t prepared to waste another second with her.
He put his hands on her shoulders to lift them and push her back ever so slightly. Moving one hand to the small of her back to keep her from withdrawing further, he then put the other under her chin and tilted her face up to his. She tried not to look at him in an effort to keep things platonic, but he caught her eye, sending a thrill through her. Before she could work out what she should do, his lips were on hers. He kissed her passionately, all the months of secret desire leading to a hungry intensity. Miranda only managed a second before she too couldn’t help herself any longer.
After a while Max broke off to double-check he hadn’t crossed a line. “Is this ok?” he asked gently as he rubbed his thumb up and down her shoulder.
She nodded. “Only if it is with you though,” she replied with care. “I thought you wouldn’t want-“
“I think I need this,” he told her quickly. “And please don’t think that this is just because I’m upset, that I’m using you and tomorrow I won’t want you any more. I’m completely in love with you.”
She smiled and touched her palm to his cheek before kissing him again, more fiercely this time. He responded by moving his hands over her back beneath her jacket and then up inside her shirt, caressing the soft skin under her clothes. Miranda gripped his shoulders, then ran her hands across his chest. He brought one hand round below her coat to cup her breast and started to trace his fingers across her nipple. She gasped into his mouth and pressed herself against his body. She slowly drifted a hand down his abdomen, teasing him. Just as her fingertips began to brush against his groin, he suddenly spun her away and strode off towards the glass doors leading inside.
Miranda felt a sudden stab of panic and rejection. Had she done something wrong after all? Was he leaving?
Max turned back and smiled at her. He reached out his arm and urged her to him. “Come on, then!”
Relief flooded through Miranda, immediately followed by a wave of excitement. She walked up to him and took his outstretched hand.
“Should we..?” she questioned, every part of her crying out for a positive response.
“Yes,” he said with absolute certainty. He led her willingly into the bedroom.
Hold me in this wild, wild world
Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be
And in your heat I feel how cold it can get
Now draw me close