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Steve had been through a lot, no, they both had, but Steve seemed to go through so much more. He couldn't relate to some things about him, like how he'd been abused as a child, or how Steve was bullied through his whole life.
One thing Captain could relate to was war.
They both were war veterans, having fought side by side. The pair knew how much it hurt each other. War does a lot of damage to people mentally, the two were no exception.
Both of them had developed PTSD. Steve already showed signs of it before the war,jumping at sounds and overreacting. now he was diagnosed.
Captain wouldn't be lying if he wasn't annoyed by waking up to his partner missing from the bed, his warmth gone and leaving John with a cold embrace of nothing. As he slowly woke more, he heard small sobs coming from the bathroom attached to the side of their room.
Steve was in trouble, he was crying. He hated hearing or seeing him in such a state, it was one of the only things that could break his cold heart apart. Steve was such a nice person, and was so sweet to him. He didn't deserve this, any of this. He wished he could have protected him through all those years of pain as a child, but he could not. So, he had to protect him now.
Captain got out of bed, walking with heavy feet to the bathroom,his shaking hand opening the door. Each step he took he got more concerned, his feet picking up speed. He saw Steve in the corner by the bathtub, crying and sobbing, looking around in a sacred manner. He was having a flashback, it was one of the things Captain could just tell.
"Steve, Steve," he spoke as calmly as he could, fear shooting through his veins at the others' sight. Steve's green and shaking eyes came back to look in his brown ones. "It's okay, I'm here, in the bathroom. We were sleeping"
"W-what?" Steve croaked out, his body shaking and his eyes glossy.Steve looked horrible, scared, small, and defenceless. It broke and tore Captain, God did he hate this. He would do anything to have it be him right now. To have it be him suffering and not Steve. Captain swallowed, trying to push his fear, sighing.
"We are in the bathroom. Is it okay if I hug you?" Captain felt his emotions slightly slip into his words half way through, having to breath and mask his voice once more.
"Y-yeah '' Steve's breath was shallow and quick, Captains tired mind forgetting to tell him to calm his breath. He held onto the other tightly, and Steve did the same. He rubbed their back, whispering in their ear.
"It's okay, we are in the bathroom, it's morning, we are safe Steve. It's okay Steve. You're gonna be okay. Look around the room, what do you see" He spoke, hoping his voice calmed the shaking mess inside his embrace.
"W-well… I see a mirror, a-and that funny soap dispenser that looks like a cat, I told you not to buy it" he chuckled for a soft moment, his smile fading back to his frown as he looked around and continued to describe everything he saw.
The stain on the sink, the subway bathroom tiles, their shower head, everything. Captain listened, kissing the others head and whispering soft words. They were going to be okay, and Captain made sure not to let Steve forget.
Steve started to calm, sighing with relief, snuggling their head into the captain's neck. "I love you so much" he whispered, loosening his grip on Captain. Captain didn't loosen his, looking at the other and slowly standing up.
"I know, and I love you too" He cooed, still holding the other as he walked to the bed, placing them down on their side gently. He got into his, Steve snuggling into them instantly. Captain pulled a blanket over them, kissing their head.