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Of course. Gina should’ve known the chocolates weren’t from Ricky. He hadn’t considered her feelings before, so why did she think today would be any different? How foolish was it to think that Ricky Bowen could actually do something so thoughtful for anyone other than Nini?
She cannot help the onslaught of embarrassment that comes as she registers her actions, raising her hand to cover her face. How awful it is to want someone that is not yours to want. As if her feelings are a neatly sealed letter with no address. At the sudden rush of emotion and bitter realization, her eyes begin to sting with tears that she quickly swallows back down.
Valentine’s day is stupid. It’s all so stupid. She had never cared about it before, and always agreed with the notion that it was a capitalist holiday, and you didn’t need some stuffed bear or candy from the pharmacy to show someone you loved them. Gina repeatedly tried to remind herself of this, in a desperate attempt to drown out the biting hurt and shame.
With so much change going on around her, almost as if she was sat in the eye of a storm, she figured the least Ricky could do was offer her his continued friendship. Their relationship was the thing that had originally kept her tethered to Salt Lake, but now it felt as though she had been picked up by the hurricane without having anything to cling on to.
The pair’s connection had been pulled taut since her tearful dressing room confession on opening night; but with how Ricky has been acting these past few weeks, you wouldn’t have known it even happened. It was as if he had put a pin in her feelings, and she couldn’t tell if he ever planned on revisiting them.
“Gina?” A familiar voice speaks, quickly bringing her out of her thoughts. She hastily tries to blink away the unshed tears in her eyes, hoping it was discreet enough.
Heading up the porch stairs was none other than EJ Caswell. She was so caught up with the chocolates and the texts and the Ricky bullshit, that she hadn’t even noticed him pull up to the house. But with his arrival, she was now made aware of his car, parked on the side of the street that was closest to Ashlyn’s house. The same car she had rode in on the way to Homecoming a few months prior.
Even she couldn’t hide her relief at his intrusion. Although it would have been preferable for him to not see her this hurt, she needs the distraction his presence brings. Gina had begun to realize it was challenging to be sad when EJ was around.
“What are you doing out here?” He asks, voice a mixture of both confusion and concern. His eyebrows knit together, in reflection of his tone.
She opts to simply hold up the heart-shaped box in her hand as a reply.
“And what are you doing here?” The sentence was punctuated with one of her cheeky smiles. A genuine question, instead of the defensive retort it might have been earlier in the year.
Ever since opening night, Gina had found herself unable to harbor the same irritation towards EJ that had once compelled her to dump fruit punch on his head. Or any irritation for that matter.
After all, who could be annoyed by the boy that flew you out just because it didn’t seem right for you to miss all of this?
In the following weeks, they had grown closer, fostering a sort of friendship. Gina had come to find EJ Caswell was surprisingly easy to forgive, although Nini might disagree. He wants the best for himself and those he cares about, he can just be a bit misguided in his methods. She can’t even blame him though, since his parents were most likely the ones who introduced him to his unconventional methods of showing he cares.
“I usually put something together for Ashlyn every year. Y’know.. cousins.” He pulls one of his faces and sheepishly laughs off his admission of the kind gesture.
Gina feels her heart swell at the thoughtfulness of his actions and she allows a soft smile to creep onto her face. It was no secret that EJ had been taking the holiday a bit harder this year, made evident by his unusually all-black outfit. But despite his own feelings, here he is. On Ashlyn’s porch, continuing a tradition that had been started simply to make his cousin smile.
These little moments were the ones that shaped EJ’s character in her mind. The ones where his facade of ego and seemingly never-ending confidence would fall away, leaving behind a boy who cared so much for those around him, almost to a fault. She can’t help but feel a bit of pride for being one of the few who knows this side of him, and knows it well. It seems that EJ is full of surprises, more than she had originally anticipated.
“I get it. My mom buys me chocolates every year.” Gina gestures with the box, still gripped in her hand. An uncomfortable reminder of the situation that had unraveled just moments before EJ’s arrival.
She can’t deny the frustration she feels. With both Ricky and herself. Usually, she would’ve been ecstatic that her mom found a way to still deliver a gift in spite of the distance between them, and she is. But, while she’s happy, she can’t suppress the tinge of disappointment she feels.
These were supposed to be Ricky’s chocolates. This was supposed to be Ricky’s act of kindness. This was supposed to prove he hadn’t entirely abandoned her in the sweep of his newly mended relationship.
"Uh, I actually"—he shifts the gift bag in his hand to reveal another—"got you something as well."
It’s a red bag, neatly stuffed with white tissue paper. Hanging on one of the ribbon handles outside of the bag, is a tag that reads her name in EJ’s usual clean handwriting. And it’s for her.
“EJ, that’s.. really sweet,” she says, almost breathless. No matter how many times he does, she is consistently left without words when EJ thinks of her. Whether it’s a plane ticket or a Valentine’s day gift, it seems the best she can do is smile incredulously at him, awestruck at his continued kindness.
“I thought it’d be rude to show up without something for you. I mean, we were in a very serious fake relationship.”
Gina laughs at this, and gently takes the bag from him. Just another thing about EJ Caswell that never seems to disappoint: his charming comedic delivery. When around him, Gina can’t suppress the giggles that follow his remarks.
“Of course, how could I have forgotten?”
They let the moment settle between them, a comfortable silence full of thinly veiled adoration from both sides. For Gina, his thoughtfulness. For EJ, her happiness.
“You know you don’t have to stand, right? C’mere,” she pats the spot beside her on the bench, inviting him to sit. He carefully accepts her offer and joins her on the seat. Their knees brush against each other lightly from them both being slightly angled towards the other.
With delicately maintained excitement (she tries to remind herself that Valentine’s day is just that: a day), Gina sets her mom’s chocolates down at her other side and begins pulling the tissue paper from the bag. At the bottom is a tan square box, with a darker brown ribbon wrapped around it. Chocolate truffles, it reads. A small smile creeps across her face, he actually got her chocolates.
“EJ Caswell, you know the key to my heart.” She jokes as she retrieves the sweets from the bag, and holds them up to provide him with the context behind her comment. Truthfully, she hadn’t even particularly liked chocolate before tonight, but she could feel her opinion change as the events of the night unfolded. It wasn’t a symbol of Ricky’s shortcomings anymore, it now serves as a reminder of both her mom and EJ’s care for her.
Gina would’ve been more than content with the chocolates and just being thought of, but she catches sight of a more rounded, white box next to the brown one. As she cautiously fishes the second box from the bag, she notices EJ beginning to fidget with his fingers.
Recognizing it as the usual nervousness that comes with the anticipation of giving someone a gift, she says, “I really appreciate this, EJ. I mean it.”
A grin spreads across his face, and Gina is compelled to reciprocate it. For just a moment, she allows herself to forget all of the personal biases she holds against the holiday. Maybe showing others that you’re thinking of them and that you care (albeit, usually through embarrassing, cheesy gestures) isn’t all that bad, if it means you get to see them happy.
“Well, you’re not done yet. I still have one more chance to screw it up.” He laughs lightly, in an attempt to ease his worry, and motions to the second box still held in her hands.
“Doubt it. There’s nothing bad enough that it can cancel out chocolates.”
Carefully, she flips back the lid of the box with uncertain fingers and is met with a gold-plated necklace. Wonderstudies, forever engraved into a tile of metal. She exhales his name quietly, gently taking the jewelry from its box.
“Do you like it?” He questions, with a voice full of barely managed nerves. Gina was almost surprised the sentence didn’t elicit one of EJ Caswell’s signature voice cracks.
“Like it? EJ, I love it.”
“Here,” he holds out his hand for the necklace, and Gina turns away so that he can fasten it around her neck. As she shifts back towards him, she cradles the necklace plate in her hand, inscribed with their inside joke. Now, everytime it swings against her chest, it will serve as a reminder of how far they’ve both come since their ill-fated ‘wonderstudies’ plan. Both in terms of their friendship and their respective growth as people.
“It looks good on you.” He says, although his eyes hadn’t yet left her face and her radiant smile. “Plus, now we’re matching.” He reaches under the neckline of his shirt to reveal a twin necklace.
Gina lets out a laugh of awe at just how considerate the gift was. She couldn’t believe he had gotten her something so thoughtful and tailored to their relationship, and then also downplayed it like he had. How the boy ever had any doubt in his mind as to whether she would like the gift was unbeknownst to her.
“Thank you, EJ. This is so sweet,” she reiterates with complete sincerity, looking up to meet his fixed gaze.
“Well, what are fake boyfriends if not sort of sweet?” EJ jokes, with his trademark endearing exaggeration.
As the conversation settles between them, the street is quiet with the solitude of evening, and there seems to be so much left unsaid between the teenagers. So much care that had been delicately woven into the seams of the interaction, just waiting to burst.
“As much as I’d love to stay, I do have water polo tomorrow.” EJ looks almost disappointed to be the one to remind the other about it being a school night. Like he isn’t yet ready to close the veil of intimacy that had fallen over them, in fear it couldn’t be reopened.
“Well, we can’t have you missing that.” It’s meant as a quip, a playful response to poke fun at the sport for giving EJ reason to leave. But it comes so softly with the nighttime, that neither laughs it off. After letting himself stay captured in the present for a few more seconds, he starts down the stairs, but turns to look back at Gina.
“Goodnight, G.”
“Goodnight, Eej.”
The duo shares a final warm smile, the last of many for the night. Before he actually leaves, Gina commits how he looks under the dim porch lighting to memory, knowing without any reservation that there will never come a day where she is sick of his infectious grin.
And as she watches him pull away, he gives her one last wave before he is truly well and gone, and she can’t fight the oncoming wave of undeniable appreciation she feels. Overwhelming and overpowering, a true tidal wave, sweeping her off her feet effortlessly and pulling her into the sea that is adoration. Adoration for EJ and everything he is.
Sure, things with Ricky are strange right now. Sure, he may never be ready to acknowledge her feelings. But Gina was putting down stronger roots in Salt Lake, no longer in need of Ricky’s conditional comfort to secure her to Utah.
Plus, she just realized a new constant in her life: EJ Caswell and his unfailing kindness.