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It was hard to come to terms with the deaths of his friends yet in the months that came after they split a feeling lingered telling him that they were gone. He had tried to cling onto a hope that they’d at least still be alive and find him then everything could go back to normal. His chest stung and felt empty for many days after they parted, the feeling never completely going away. Fugo couldn’t even force himself to leave his place but was reminded of them in almost every way.
Many belongings of theirs happened to be found in many different corners there. The first time he came across something of Narancia’s, he instantly dropped it and couldn’t make himself go back near it for hours. The guilt felt heavy on him, his last moments with his friends were spent watching them drift away to a death sentence. Oh, how Fugo wished he could have had a better departure with them. To be able to redo it all would be even better.
He started playing piano again. It was nice and he felt something as he played each key. The melodies soothed him and allowed him to escape the sad state his life was in. A routine began to form, playing the piano every day which wasn’t a bad thing at all. Sometimes when he played he would visualize the others standing around and watching him play. Fugo knew he could be very emotional at times, this was no surprise. He felt like he couldn’t or can’t be regretful for his previous decisions.
When Fugo had to speak to Mista for the first time in half a year, he was instantly reminded of things he didn’t want to think of. The fact he left them to die was something that he tried to shove in the crevasses of his mind. His tone was harsh and everything he said pierced his heart. Their friendship had been well before, close enough to share memories with each other. The whole thing just showed him how he messed up and it was his fault.
One thing that stuck with him from the conversation was when Mista had asked if he believed he was a traitor. In a way no, he didn’t think that at all. When they split Bruno asked and encouraged them to stay even though it was their decision. That didn’t mean he never felt regret though. His answer didn’t matter to the conversation, seeing as Mista had already made up his mind on the boy. Who was he to taunt Fugo anyways? He couldn’t even understand his place in the situation just wanting to be close-minded.
Fugo kept this in mind all throughout the mission with Sheila E and Murolo. The interactions he had with them made him recall six months ago. The idea that he was on a mission to “prove” his loyalty to Giorno gave him major deja vu. Other things that occurred during the trip made him question and really get to understand how the others felt.
He had asked Sheila E once what she’d do if she was with a bunch of random guys and her answer really gave him the insight to understanding Trish, who the others gave themselves up for. He didn’t have the chance to know her as well as the others did and it was a major factor in his refusal to join then on the “suicide trip”. The irony is though he’s on one right now with two strangers to ensure his boss can trust him Fugo almost laughed thinking about it.
He was exhausted, Fugo had accumulated several injuries from the fights he had and just wanted to be able to rest for the rest of his life. Passione or more specifically Giorno did not allow this. There was something about him that was compelling. When Fugo pledged himself over to Giorno there was an overwhelming feeling that he couldn’t describe at that instant, Giorno’s presence was strong. But not in the normal way, Giorno could pass by many and they wouldn’t assume much of him from how he carried himself.
Fugo knew better than to underestimate him. Especially now. Soon enough after he pledged, he came to understand and learn more about the boy. It was definitely weird at first, Fugo thought they wouldn’t communicate much outside of business that needed to be handled. One day he came by the other's office and knocked, waiting to be let in. There was no response for a while and it made him panic. The door wasn’t locked and Fugo knew this but it didn’t stop him from almost tearing the door down. Funnily enough, Giorno was just napping. He jolted awake with a look of startlement to only see Fugo standing in the door frame embarrassed.
Fugo would have done anything to get out of the situation he was in, just stuck standing there with nobody saying a word. “I’m sorry, I had knocked but you didn't answer and well...” Giorno still didn’t say a word but Fugo could hear him chuckle a little bit. “This is funny to you? Man, I thought you were upset I ‘ruined’ your nap.”
He relaxed a bit then entered the office. It was easy to chat with the other, both had similar interests and could discuss things they’ve read before. Sometimes starting a new book together. It soothed Fugo’s heart when he began to miss the others, he’d try and seek comfort in the piano and more recently a “new found” friend
It took some time after Fugo’s successful mission (Two weeks to be exact) for him to finally try and nip the hostility between him and Mista. During those two weeks there was no direct confrontation yet he could feel the weight of a displesant stare any time the two were around each other. Fugo wanted to make sure his words would not be harsh so he took his time preparing himself. He tracked Sheila E down and begged her to help him get Mista to speak to him. It was a success although he had to shell out a few bucks, but he waited until afternoon to finally end the tension.
He stood outside his door, after Sheila E gave him the go ahead that the other was inside. His hands felt a little moist when he gripped the doorknob. Fugo knew it would be best for both of them, whether they reconcile and become good friends again or not. He was anxious, which is fine but he swallowed it and entered.
There was thick silence, Fugo sat across the room and fiddled with his thumbs before speaking and finally letting what was on his mind for the past few weeks go. It was hard to do this, but Fugo just wanted to fix the friendship between them and he knew he’d have to talk to him about their friend’s deaths.
He knew that the pain and sadness could develop into anger, which Mista had confirmed during their conversation. Putting everything on the table was nice. Although they aren’t exactly back to how they used to be, (could things really ever go back to how they were then?) the bond was refurbished and they ended on a good note.
When Fugo exited the building he noticed it was getting a little late, the sky mixed oranges and yellow. It was beautiful, he never really did not enjoy things like this before spending most of his time in a book but in this moment it took his breath and left him light.