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Anger.
It was an emotion Yuu had been struggling with all his life. As a kid, his parents had nicknamed him “little terror” due to his short temper. His mentor, Guren, had always rebuked his tendency to respond to any provocation. A knight must maintain their sang-froid in any circumstance. Yuu knew that. He had worked hard to prove his worth and be knighted by His Majesty, the King Sika I.
Tonight, he felt like a failure.
Yuu leant against the stone wall with a sigh. Up in the keep, festivities were in full swing. His Royal Highness, the Prince Mikaela, was meeting his betrothed, His Grace, the Duke Ferid Bathory.
The rumors concerning Bathory were abundant, each more horrifying than the last. Yuu could not fathom why the King had chosen such a gossip-provoking man as the Prince’s fiancé. Well, the reason was political, of course. But there were many candidates who would have been just as beneficial.
Doubting his King’s decision was a fault; one that, fortunately, his Prince was willing to overlook. Yuu was no politician. He ought to protect the Royal family without questioning their decisions.
Yuu had thought his newfound resolve unwavering until tonight, when it crumbled before Bathory’s lecherous smile. The way the Duke looked at Mikaela like he was nothing more than a witless toy to be played with had stirred a swell of rage inside Yuu. It had taken all of his will not to unsheathe his sword and run the blade through Bathory’s stomach as he watched the betrothed couple dance.
Yuu closed his eyes as he remembered that the night before, he was the one with his hands on Mika’s hips.
It was not just anger he was struggling with; there was jealousy. A vicious jealousy that twisted his insides as he envisioned Mika’s body in the clutches of that lascivious fiend.
“Damn it!” Yuu groaned, hitting the back of his head against the wall. The pain did little to lessen his mounting ire.
He closed his eyes, taking in deep breaths. The clamors from above made it hard for him to regain his calm, but he would have to. Yuu could already imagine the scolding he would be getting from Guren once he found out he had ditched the party.
“Yuu-chan.”
The Prince had found him out first.
“Your Royal Highness.” Yuu bowed. “Forgive me, I did not hear you coming.”
He lifted his head. Despite the darkness, Yuu saw Mika was smiling.
“Leaving me to fend for myself, that’s so inconsiderate, you know?”
Even though Mika meant to be teasing, Yuu looked away in shame.
“I offer you my apologies, Your Royal Highness—”
“Stop.” Mika’s tone changed. He was hurt. “None of this. Not tonight.”
Yuu fought the urge to apologize again.
“I could not bear to see him with you. The way he looks at you—”
“You’ll have to learn to deal with it,” Mika interrupted Yuu again. His pain-filled blue eyes reflected the feeble moonlight. “In six months from now, I will be married. I will have to share Ferid Bathory’s bed for the rest of my life.”
Yuu squeezed his fists. “You Highness…”
“I need you by my side more than ever, Yuu-chan.”
The feeling was mutual. Yuu had not just pledged his life to his Prince. Mikaela had captured his heart before Yuu was even knighted, when they were both two boys of ten.
“Mika…”
A smile blossomed on Mika’s lips. Yuu shook his head.
“You Royal Highness,” Yuu corrected, averting his eyes so he would not have to look at Mika’s crestfallen expression. “You should return to the party. People are going to worry over your absence.”
“Father has already withdrawn, and Bathory seems more interested in the servants than myself.”
“Despicable,” Yuu could not help but hiss.
“He is a despicable individual.”
Yuu bit the inside of his cheek. He had no right to wallow in self-pity when Mika was being forced into marriage with a man like Bathory. Yuu had only himself to blame for falling in love with his Prince.
“Yuu-chan.” Mika moved closer, his lips suddenly inches from Yuu’s ear. “If I ask you to get rid of the Duke someday, would you do it for me?”
Yuu was speechless. Not because he did not know how to answer, but because of what such an answer would imply.
Mika let out a low chuckle before taking a step back. “I’m joking.”
No, he was not. And Yuu would slit Bathory’s neck in a heartbeat if asked. He would betray his vows to his King if Mika willed it.
“Guard my room tonight, Yuu-chan.”
Yuu knew the hidden meaning behind Mika’s orders. Would Mika still require his presence at night once he was married?
A wise man would put an end to this affair, but Yuu was a fool. They were too far gone, anyway.
Yuu got down on one knee. He gently grasped Mika’s left hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss on the signet ring that bore the emblem of their Kingdom.
“I am yours to command, Your Royal Highness.”
Mika’s fingers twitched.
“My devoted knight.”
Yuu escorted the Prince back to his quarters. The moment the doors of the bedroom closed behind them, they dropped all pretense. Mika’s body was pliant against Yuu’s. His mouth tasted of wine. Yuu was rougher than usual, his calloused hands pulling his lover’s clothes off with little finesse. He wanted to feel all of Mika, leaving no ounce of skin untouched.
Mika clung to him, his voice a gentle whisper compared to Yuu’s impatient growls. “Yuu-chan, hold me.”
Pressing Mika against the bed, Yuu let go of his pent-up anger and frustration. Noblesse was long forgotten. Passion burned in his mind like a fire that not even the droplets of sweat beading on Mika’s skin could quench. Yuu wanted to leave his imprint and make sure no one else could ever give Mika as much pleasure, especially not his husband-to-be.
He lost himself inside Mika, sobbing into his neck with his release. Mika’s fingers drew circles on his shoulder blades.
They were silent afterward. Yuu could very well imagine the guilt that overwhelmed Mika’s heart now that all the desperate passion had been spent. The Prince Mikaela was a practical politician, but rid of his formal dress, the bare Mika was only a young man forced into the schemes of the powerful.
“Yuu-chan…”
“Hush.” Yuu silenced Mika with a kiss.
Mika attempted to protest, so Yuu kissed him harder. Yuu’s lips moved up to Mika’s cheeks, tasting the tears in the darkness.
“It doesn’t have to stop, even after you’re married. I’ll always be yours to serve.”
Mika sobbed. “Take me away from here.”
Yuu would, but he knew Mika did not mean these words. It was a quixotic dream, a fantasy they took refuge in when reality weighed too heavily on their shoulders.
Tonight, they had to face such a reality, Yuu decided. They needed to be practical if they ever hoped to share a future together.
“I’ll stay with you. I am your sword and your shield. You’re meant to rule us all someday. I’ll protect you to this end until my last breath.”
They made love again and Mika fell asleep afterward. Yuu remained awake until the glow of dawn seeped into the room.
It mattered little that Mika was betrothed to another man, Yuu thought, as he caressed Mika’s cheek with the back of his fingers. Even if they eventually had to put an end to those illicit encounters of theirs, nothing could take away the precious moments they had shared.
Yuu left the bed and fixed his clothes in front of the lavish full-length mirror. There was not much he could do about his messy hair, but if he came across other people while going back to his room, they would at worst think he had fooled around with one of the serving girls.
“Yuu-chan?”
Yuu glanced to the side. Mika was slowly sitting up, the bedsheets pooling at his thighs.
“Good morning, Your Royal Highness.”
Mika blinked sleepily, then frowned. “You weren’t thinking of slipping away before I woke up, were you?”
Yuu smirked. “Do you really want us to get caught so badly?”
Mika looked away. “Maybe…” He shook his head and assumed the demeanor of a collected prince again. “Do not leave until I order you to. That also goes for your behavior yesterday.”
Yuu bowed down. “My sincerest apologies.”
“I hope you mean them.”
“I do, Your Highness. But I also fear your servants finding me in your room at such an early hour might cause quite a ruckus.”
“They’ll assume I needed you to guard my virginity from the Duke before the marriage.”
Yuu could not help but snort. Beyond that bit of humor, Mika looked very serious.
“Yuu-chan, I do not look forward to my wedding night. I hope you realize that.”
Yuu clenched his fists. “I know.”
“Good.” Mika rose, and Yuu reveled in the sight of his naked body in the early morning light. “I better get ready. More guests are due today.”
“Shall I get Akane?”
“There is no need. She’ll be there soon enough. For now…”
Mika did not have to ask. Yuu walked up to him and his lover melted in his embrace.
“Thank you. With you, I’ll be able to overcome this.” Mika left a kiss on Yuu’s lips and pulled back before Yuu could return it. “Off you go.”
Yuu nodded with a sad smile. He headed to the bookcase, pressed the right cover and slid into the narrow secret door that just opened.
“I’ll see you later, Mika.”
He did not wait for an answer and left.