Work Text:
“Hey, it’s me.”
“Hey, you. What’s that big sigh for?”
“I just had a most uncomfortable evening.”
“Course you did, I don’t know why you keep insistin’ on goin’ out with that man!”
“It’s not that, it’s… worse”
“He made a move on you, or what?”
“No! No. But he told Nicole we were dating. Like, for real. And she was… asking me how I combine dating him and bossing him around, and I spent the rest of the day avoiding him and feeling uncomfortable, so I invited them over for dinner to clear it all up, but somehow, it got worse.”
“You gotta stop hidin’ behind these men, Shar! 30 years of Jack and now you’re doing the same with Andy. And I know you told him you weren’t datin’ and all, but clearly you’re getting his hopes up anyway.”
“It’s just so much easier this way. Everyone just assumes we’re dating and they don’t ask questions.”
“Easier? You’re dating a man you’re not dating, to avoid telling people you’re dating me, and lie to his daughter about it and have Rusty pretend along with you. How is that easier?”
“…”
“Lost for words, are we?”
“I’m sorry, I think I am only now starting to see how ridiculous this situation is.”
“‘Bout time.”
“I know.”
“Y’all are just a bunch of pretenders over there, is that ex of mine still wearing his ring?”
“Yeah… he’s even going on pretend-trips to DC. See, I’m not that bad.”
“You’re worse, you come to DC and pretend you’re goin’ somewhere else!”
“Ok, point taken. About that, are we still on for next week?”
“Of course. But changin’ the subject won’t get you out of trouble, missy! Wait…”
“What?”
“You were lying to Andy about why you were really goin’ out with him and he was lyin’ to you about why he was really goin’ out with you?”
“Keep up, Brenda Leigh, this is where we started.”
“Yeah but you see, you’re even steven now. So you can just tell him the truth and he can’t blame ya cuz he was lying to you too. Perfect!”
“Hm.”
“Sharon!”
“Yes?”
“Promise you’ll tell him?”
“Yes, yes, I promise.”
“I’ll make it all better when you’re here next week, ‘kay?”
“I’d have you tell me all about that, but I have to get some sleep.”
“Yeah, me too. See you next week, hon. Have a good night.”
“You too. Kiss!”
“Kiss!”