Work Text:
Virgil tapped his pencil against his chin, staring into his sketchbook in deep contemplation. His easel and supplies for class were already set up in front of him- he’d made sure to arrive early to secure his comfort spot and be ready well in advance. He knew there was nothing really to worry about and that the act of drawing would drown everything else out once he got into a groove, but life drawing classes always made him nervous beforehand.
From the back of the classroom, Professor Shepard spoke softly with the model but Virgil didn’t pay them much attention. Soon others in the class began to filter in and get set up, talking amongst themselves. Virgil hardly acknowledged the others who set up next to him, preferring instead to continue perfecting his newest character design.
“Alright, class. Please welcome our newest anatomy study. I figured you all were tired of trying to capture Samantha’s beauty the past few months,” titters broke out among the class, most relieved at the prospect of a new subject to draw. Virgil barely looked up from his sketchbook as the professor introduced their new model. “Yes, Samantha was lovely, but from now on, our live drawing lessons will center on Remus until either he is humiliated or I change my mind.”
Virgil looked up sharply, heart skipping about ten beats in a row. He found the new model staring him down with an achingly familiar grin spread across his face.
“Oh shit,” Virgil muttered to himself, instantly dreading the next three hours of his life.
“Is there a problem, Mr. Kier? Nervous about perfecting male anatomy?” Professor Shepard asked sharply, the tittering laughter spreading around the class at the call out.
“N-No, sir,” Virgil replied with a nervous gulp.
“Then I expect you to treat Remus with as much respect as we all did for Samantha. A little professional decorum, please,” the professor continued.
"I'd like to see Remus manage 'professional decorum'," Virgil muttered, absolutely intending to be overheard. The professor rolled his eyes at the childish behavior, but Remus cackled with utter glee. The sound of his laughter rang in Virgil's ears like a warning siren, simultaneously triggering every instinct to run like hell.
"If we're quite done with the distractions, may I continue, Mr. Kier?" Virgil flipped his bangs in front of his face as the professor continued without waiting for his response, "you all know the drill. Go for realistic without killing yourself attempting realism. Have fun! Remus, if you would?"
Professor Shepard gestured to the dias at the front of the class and Remus jumped up before dramatically disrobing and enthusiastically posing. Zero shame.
Virgil groaned and hid behind his easel, waiting until his professor had made his way back to his desk. He stood and tried to nonchalantly approach, but felt several pairs of eyes watching him retreat to the back of the classroom, but especially the eyes of the man at the front of the class.
"Mr. Kier? Is something wrong? I thought I had made the assignment pretty explicitly clear," the professor watched him with a discerning gaze that never failed to unnerve him.
Virgil tried to straighten his posture and cleared his throat before asking in a raspy whisper, "sir, may I please be excused from class?"
"Missing Samantha already?" the man asked in a mockery of sympathy, "I know you get anxious about new models, Virgil, but I know if you just try to focus on the drawing-"
"No- you don't understand-"
"Please. Tell me what I don't understand. There's no shame in looking at a naked man. The male form can be just exquisite as a female or a nonbinary one. In fact, my partner would reprimand me if I personally didn't find him more stunning than others. You can handle looking at that young man for a few hours," the professor replied sternly, pulling out a book and shooing Virgil away.
"That's not the problem!" Virgil pressed on, trying his hardest to not make this a scene, "I just- I don't think I personally have much to gain from drawing Remus."
"All practice is good practice. Don't be a prude, Virgil. Especially not a sexist one-"
"No! Ugh- can I get out of this if I turn in a previously drawn piece?"
"Mr. Kier, that's not how this class wor-"
"Of the same subject???" Virgil pleaded desperately, wincing and pulling out the notebook he could never bring himself to throw away. The professor raised an eyebrow and looked back up from his book.
Virgil sighed and flipped to one of his old drawings, "sir, I've drawn Remus as my model several times before. I don't- I really don't want to stare at my ex for hours. Can I please be excused?" Professor Shepard looked over the nude sketch, looking up to compare it to the model at the front of the class. A slow smirk spread across his lips.
"Very well, Mr. Kier. You're excused from drawing for the class period," Virgil sighed in relief, "instead I'd like you to talk with Mr. Duke and keep him awake for the duration of the class."
"What? No!" half a dozen heads turned at the outburst.
"It's drawing or talking. Your choice. You are not excused from class. And frankly, I think you should draw because you did much better work with Samantha and you weren't dating her," the professor smirked and turned back to his book to ignore Virgil’s protests.
"Professor Janus, please!"
"My decision is final. Get to work."
Virgil groaned and trudged back to his easel, hissing at classmates he caught openly staring at him. He stared at his blank canvas, certain that neither choice was a good one. He could spend a few hours staring at his ex-boyfriend, paying careful attention to each shadow and highlight, each change in muscle tone since they'd split, the way he shaved differently now, and the way Remus looked back at him the way a cat looks at a starling. Or, go have a very long, very awkward, very public conversation that- if he knew Remus (and he did- intimately) -would touch on every topic he'd avoided for the past four months.
One of Dante's circles of Hell had to be Life Drawing classes with ex-lovers, right?
Virgil sighed heavily and picked up his supplies, determined to move his easel upfront with him. Somehow the shame of trying to get out of drawing and being given an option instead of drawing but not taking it outweighed his apprehension over talking with Remus. Attracting far too much attention from his classmates, Virgil stood and scooted the easel up to the front and the side of the class. He avoided Remus's stare as he set back up, trying to put off the inevitable fate he chose for himself as long as possible.
"Aww, just like old times, huh, Virgie? Up close and personal and naked. Did you have to ask Janjan for a better view?"
Virgil bit back a scathing reply, only to ask a slightly less scathing, "finally broke enough to publicly humiliate yourself for cash?"
Remus giggled at that, "a bit. I missed you, Emo. I woulda signed up sooner if I knew this was the class you're in."
"Don't lie, Rem," Virgil winced at how easily he fell back to using the nickname, "you didn't miss me one bit."
"Why wouldn't I miss my sugar daddy?"
"Keep your voice down! I- I was not!" Virgil snapped in a hoarse whisper.
"I mean you paid for everything- like everything except the s-"
"We were dating. Not some weird contractual dating. Just dating- fucking hell-"
"So why wouldn't I miss my boyfriend? My beloved ball and chain wearing too much eyeliner," Remus asked pointedly, taking a moment to shake out the stiffness in his arms before posing again.
“You could put your arms down, you dork,” Virgil grumbled, ignoring the question.
“Dork means whale penis so I’m taking that as a compliment,” Remus giggled, easily distracted as ever.
Virgil stifled a giggle, not wanting to give Remus the satisfaction of his amusement. He started to sketch as he wracked his brain for another topic of discussion, “sure thing, Rem. Whatever makes you happy.”
“Know what would really make me happy?”
“A flame thrower?”
“Yes, but not what I was going for,” Remus giggled and quickly fixed his drooping pose, “has it been three hours yet?”
Virgil checked his watch, “ten minutes. Just drop your arms dude.”
“Not if it’s a challenge!”
“No one said it’s a challenge.”
“You’ve challenged me!”
“I have not. I have encouraged you to do the smart thing- probably because I forgot what a raging idiot you’ve always been!” Virgil snapped, purposefully sketching Remus’ arms down at his side.
“Wow. Cuts deep, Virgil. Almost as deep as your ass,” Remus retorted, stubbornly holding his arms up.
“Okay- you need to quit after tonight. I am not about to do this once a week for the next three months.”
“Can’t. I need the money, bitch. You have to live with me,” Remus growled and snapped his teeth at Virgil.
“Shut up. I’m going to focus on drawing now. If you get sleepy, say something,” Virgil waved dismissively and focused on refining his sketch true to the lights in the room.
Not two minutes later Remus was fidgeting and biting back a moan, "gawd, Virgie, you never said these classes were so boring!"
"They aren't when you're drawing. The time flies by when you can't get the right curve on someone's knee. Why'd you of all people sign up to be a model anyway? I don't think I've ever seen you sit still for more than 5 minutes," Virgil smirked, glancing back up at Remus and trying not to take perverse pleasure in his discomfort.
"Uh- nude modeling. It sounded sexy!" Remus stuck his tongue out and shimmied his shoulders.
"See, I could have told you that was the least likely outcome. 30 people drawing your balls is never gonna be super sexy for anyone involved," Virgil shrugged.
Remus frowned, "it was when you-"
"Please don't-" Virgil interrupted quickly, "I just don’t like to think about that anymore."
"But why not? We had a lot of good and bad times together. Are you going to throw out the good because they remind you of the bad? Life is good and bad times all jumbled up like a jigsaw puzzle, Virgie. The pieces don't segregate. The bigger picture is more than good or bad," Remus cocked his head and stared Virgil down.
"Geez, Rem… that was... really philosophical for a man standing naked in front of 30 strangers."
"Eh. Hard to turn it off," Remus shrugged before remembering to strike his pose again, "hard to turn me off, remember that, sweetheart?" Remus winked down at him. Virgil smiled with amusement at Remus’s antics and lack of practice at modeling.
"Glad to see some things never change," Virgil murmured, returning to his drawing.
"We never talked like this when we were dating," Remus murmured after a few minutes, once the silence of leads scratching across papers became too much to tolerate.
"I wonder why not," Virgil replied flatly.
"I think I was too in love with you," Virgil flushed at the assertion and shook his head emphatically.
"Yeah, right. You hated me as much as I hated you."
"Why do you think I hated you?" Remus asked, tilting his head quizzically before righting it again.
"A lot of reasons, you ass," Virgil muttered, not able to meet his eyes.
"Well, we're stuck here. Tell me the reasons," Remus offered, "I never hated you."
"Are you crazy? No!" Virgil glanced around at the rest of the class. No one seemed interested in his conversation but in front of a quiet crowded room was the last place he wanted to discuss any of this, "you acted like you hated me. What was I supposed to think?"
"When?" Remus asked, louder than necessary. Virgil winced and shushed him. Remus growled not so softly, "you're a fucking liar, Virge. I never hated you and I certainly wouldn't have acted like it."
Virgil stubbornly tried to ignore Remus and continue drawing, but he could feel other's eyes on him, waiting for his response to the accusation.
"That's what I thought, liar," Remus muttered coldly.
Virgil hissed suddenly, "you're the one who always tormented me with the things I told you in confidence! You broke my trust in order to hurt me so many times. How can you say you loved me when you tried to torture me?"
"You wanna catch these hands? I never did that at all!" Remus scowled.
"Last Christmas," Virgil replied, glaring at Remus who'd completely forgotten to pose. If he'd looked around he would have seen that the rest of the class was far too invested in this fight to continue working.
"Oh yeah! Funny you should mention that one. The time I worked my ass off to get you a nice, thoughtful gift that you refused to take. Yeah, great example of me being an asshole."
"Remus! I told you that I hate clocks because they worsen my anxiety. I told you that in no uncertain terms. What was I supposed to think about you turning around to buy me a watch?" Virgil fumed, ready to storm out of the class.
"I got you the watch so you wouldn't need to look at the clocks!'
"A watch is a clock! And if you had asked I would have told you that watches are just as bad for me! I thought you wanted to make me anxious and sick!"
"No! I wanted to make it better!"
"Okay, so what about the dog?"
"That poor puppy needed a home!"
"Bullshit! Not in my home! This is what I'm talking about! You always did things to make my worst nightmares and anxieties come to life. Why the fuck would you do that to someone you love?" Virgil smacked his pencil down on the easel and was suddenly aware of the silence throughout the classroom, "shit..."
"Why did you stay?" Remus asked quietly.
"What?" Virgil asked, distracted by everyone's staring.
"Why didn't you break up with me if I treated you so horribly?"
Virgil turned back to see Remus staring at him with an almost remorseful expression. He took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek until he got a hold of his thoughts again, "honestly? I thought we could work it out."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Virgil sighed and went back to drawing, beet red with embarrassment.
"I've missed you so much, Virgil. I- I might have made a mistake."
"So why did you leave? If you missed me and loved me and couldn't survive without me, why did you leave and never look back?" Virgil asked voice strained to stay in control.
"Who said I never looked back?" Remus fidgeted with nervous energy.
"You never look back. Not for anything."
"Maybe, maybe it's because you were always ahead of me," Remus sighed dramatically "And I love watching that ass, even if it's walking away."
"Ahead of you?" Virgil asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, with your job and apartment and college classes- You've always been ahead of me. I couldn't keep up. So I had to let you go because I hated seeing you held back and unhappy," Remus answered quietly.
"I- wow.. um," Virgil stumbled for a response, regretting more than a few of their dumber arguments now.
"Well, that was quite the soap opera. 10-minute break before we find out, will they or won't they get back together?" Professor Shephard announced from the back of the class. Students quickly scattered and Remus relaxed immediately before turning to smile sheepishly at Virgil.
"Can I curl up in the corner and die?" Virgil groaned, rubbing his face to hide his hotly embarrassed cheeks.
"Virgil, I regret leaving you every day," Remus hopped down off the pedestal to stand in front of him, "if you wanna try again...."
"Duke... how am I supposed to take that seriously with you standing there naked?"
"Remember how I asked you out the first time? Also naked. It works," Remus grinned, "wanna get coffee after class and at least talk about it?"
Virgil sighed, "as long as you put pants on first."
"I think pants are a reasonable compromise."
Virgil smiled at that, "thanks. I- I think we have a lot to talk about..."
"And about four months of smoochin' to catch up on," Remus grinned, leaning in to kiss Virgil's cheek.
Virgil laughed and pushed him away softly, "oh my god, save it for after coffee."
"Well that sounds promising," Remus giggled and sat on the edge of the platform, "promise I'll stop bringing this stuff up in front of your classmates."
"Thanks, I appreciate that," Virgil nodded and stretched out some of the tension that had been building all class. Remus snickered and reached out to poke him in the stomach. Virgil jerked back and ended up on the floor. Remus froze, scared to make another move until Virgil burst out laughing. Remus giggled in relief and reached down to help him back up. It was the first time they'd held hands in four months, and certainly wasn't the last.