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"...I misread that, didn't I?"
What?
The gulp in Atsumu's throat sounds too loud in the defeaning silence, Kiyoomi almost feels it. Although he wants to say something, to refute the hesitant man right infront of him and tell him he is so incredibly wrong, words seem to stop flowing at the tip of his tongue.
Atsumu takes the silence as his cue to feel even guiltier for the impulsive kiss, as he bows down until his forehead touches the ground that he so desperately wants to swallow him whole. With his knees already folded, he shows submission to what he thinks is a mistake.
Atsumu shouldn't be doing this. His face is supposed to be nuzzled against his, not in the dirt. But before Kiyoomi is able to bother the other with the selfish request, Atsumu inhales air sharply. Kiyoomi just lost his.
"I am sorry for what I did. I crossed the line. I disrespected yer boundaries. I shouldn't have done that." Atsumu raises his head with shame, determination and hurt in his eyes.
Bring the fondness back, is what Kiyoomi wants to say but Atsumu proceeds to do all the talking.
"Rest assured that I'll never do it again."
-
And true to his words, Atsumu did not do it again. It's not like he still had the confidence to do so when all you did was to stay quiet and watch him walk away in shame, loser. Kiyoomi clicks his tongue for the 5th time this hour.
What happened last night kept appearing in his head like a plague and the regret has been frying his nerve endings since the moment he knew Atsumu felt that pressing his lips to his own was a mistake. Kiyoomi knows he should have said something, did something, anything.
But he just watched how Atsumu looked down, effectively averting his eyes from Kiyoomi's orbs, and bit his lips. That frustrated Kiyoomi beyond words because he wanted to be the one biting Atsumu's lips with fervor. However, considering how he fucked up by staying silent and how he is being reminded of the tense back facing him before walking away, clearly, he is nowhere near what he desires.
He cannot even begin with how messy his curls are from his constant brushing. All he wants do now is to take long strides to the blond who is talking to Aran about something and drag him to the locker room to make up with his lack of response from last night's encounter. But Kiyoomi is a responsible man, and he knows that Atsumu takes his oath about respecting boundaries and to never cross them again quite seriously.
Kiyoomi wants to change that.
He finds himself clenching his fist because there is this itch.
"You know, whatever has gotten you so worked up, you need to deal with it." A voice from behind startles him for a second before letting out a grunt without facing Motoya. His cousin just shrugs.
"I don't know what is up with you and I know you're not gonna tell me anyway, but whatever it is, it is bothering you way too much that you ended up analyzing the toss."
"Mind your own business."
Now Kiyoomi feels shittier. He knows how much one of their setters, specifically his setter, hates having his tosses analyzed first before being hit. To Atsumu, that's, "I don't fuckin' go parallel to the ground for ya to be all hesitant on my tosses. It's either ya suck or ya really suck."
Kiyoomi just blew one of his remaining chances away. Atsumu must be so pissed.
Kiyoomi almost wishes for the setter to come at him, take him by the collar and call him scrub for not showing trust on his toss. Though, regardless of the desperation to be in close contact with Atsumu, Kiyoomi knows that provoked anger isn't gonna do them any favor.
The air in his lungs is suddenly trapped as he follows a pair of warm hazel crystals meet his longing ones and they look away just as fast.
Atsumu wasn't expecting to see him right where his eyes travelled and is obviously nervous. It's not much, but it's a form of acknowledgement. Kiyoomi is a greedy man and he considers that reaction a small victory.
Driven by that small spike of confidence, he waits for the end of practice to finally, finally open his mouth and talk.
-
Finally having the courage to talk to someone you didn't converse with for long hours is one thing. But ambushing them just because it's convenient to you is another. There is still five hours until the full cycle since Atsumu kissed him, but to Kiyoomi, the last nineteen hours felt like forever. It's painstakingly fucking slow.
Practice has just ended when the pink, blue, and orange skies got their harmony. Some of his teammates have already left while some are in the shower and two have themselves all over Atsumu's personal space. Kiyoomi feels his eye twitch.
"Tsum-Tsum, I'm beat! Today's practice is too different! We're way off our course!" Bokuto whined, leaning his entire torso on Atsumu's back, with the latter almost losing his balance from his seat on the bench.
"Bokuto-san's right! I wonder why coach suddenly tweaked some of our strategies and formation. Don't wanna adjust. Just wanna go to sleep." Hinata rests his head on Atsumu's shoulder, almost falling asleep from exhaustion. The setter lets out an exasperated sigh.
"Look, I'm sorry. I just proposed some tactics to Aran and I didn't expect him to hand my ass over to the coach." Atsumu groans and tries to squirm out of their hold.
Kiyoomi just stands at the far end, pretending to be getting something from his locker because he can't be found out that he is eavesdropping, that he is waiting for the locker room to be emptied, that he hopes that Atsumu will not go home immediately, that is waiting, that he cares. Kiyoomi knows he looks like an idiot by awkwardly existing in the locker room but he can't fuck this up the second time.
So he waits and waits. Just like how Atsumu waited for an answer last night.
While waiting, he thinks of ways on how to approach the subject, much more so Atsumu. He can't just call for Atsumu's attention just because it's the easiest to go for him, can he? Because that might be the hardest for the blond. But a probability tells Kiyoomi that Atsumu is just as direct as he is, so the other might appreciate it more if Kiyoomi didn't go around the bush. But then again, he cannot, in any way, fuck this up. Because if he did, he has to say goodbye to the ridiculous pining he did over the years of knowing Atsumu.
So it's a hit-or-miss.
Let's take a look at how we're gonna do this, yeah? Kiyoomi mentally scolds himself to get it together.
First. By any means, do not be an asshole. Banter might be their thing, but this thing, whatever they have between them right now, is dwindling. Kiyoomi is suddenly overwhelmed by the fact that Atsumu have been trying to form a healthy bond between them as teammates, friends, and maybe even more. If Kiyoomi fucks this up, then that's that.
Second. Tell him how you really feel. Atsumu has been dropping signs and Kiyoomi was a stupid man, not because he didn't notice them (in fact, he noticed them way very easily), but because he didn't do anything about the whole thing. Kiyoomi internally kicks himself for just literally sitting on his ass and hungrily accepted whatever Atsumu offered him, without offering anything back at all. Kiyoomi is once again reminded how he said nothing when Atsumu had been self-deprecating last night. A groan escapes from Kiyoomi's mouth.
Third. Take what Atsumu has to offer and for once in your ridiculous pining, do something about it. Not to disrespect Atsumu's decision, but Kiyoomi thinks he should atleast prove himself once. And for all, perhaps.
Fourth. You must be overthinking this, Kiyoomi. He lets out a dry laugh and runs his fingers through his hair before heaving a sigh. He is a rational and collected man. Things like kiss and misunderstanding do not usually get him all bothered and pissy, but this is Atsumu. So, of course, Kiyoomi is all bothered and pissy.
You are a stupid man, Kiyoomi.
The thing is, Kiyoomi really likes Atsumu. He smiles at the thought. There's no going around it. He might had been in denial but Atsumu has always been a force that Kiyoomi can't seem to help but to be dragged by him. It's thrilling. Atsumu is thrilling.
Apart from their usual playing with fire, Atsumu has been so...exceptional. Not in a ground-breaking way. His kidness and sincerity felt natural. They felt so...right. And to this day, Kiyoomi can't comprehend why people look at Atsumu in the negative light. Atsumu is perfect.
So Kiyoomi thinks he cannot he blamed for overthinking all of this.
He lets out another sigh and he realized that he's been inside his own little bubble that he failed to notice the absence of the rest of the team. They probably went home. Except for him and
"Atsumu."
Kiyoomi is a second away from digging a hole right before him because he actually didn't plan for the confrontation to happen immediately. They are several feet apar which gives Atsumu the option to run away and Kiyoomi to be left unheard and fucking this up big time.
Thank the heavens, though. Because Atsumu twist his naked torso — oh he's fresh from the shower because there are droplets of water sliding from his neck down to his pectoral muscles — and looks at Kiyoomi wide-eyed.
"...Yeah?" Kiyoomi watches the pink in Atsumu's cheeks travel to his ears down to his chest and the things he'd do to add more red.
"We need to talk."
"I know that much."
"Okay."
Okay? What the fuck?
Once again, Kiyoomi berates himself for not saying anything decent. But he's not backing down. He's standing right there and that needs to change. So Kiyoomi slowly walks up to Atsumu, careful to see any sign of discomfort from the shorter man in which thank the heavens once again because there isn't any. Kiyoomi closes the distance between them until Atsumu is left with no choice but to tilt his head up to meet the dark orbs. Atsumu visibly swallows.
"Tell me if this it's too much and I'll rip myself off you." Atsumu nods and his eyes lands on Kiyoomi's lips.
Another point for Kiyoomi, who snakes his hand from Atsumu's fingers to his waist that is holy shit this is so firm and slender. The grip is Kiyoomi's jacket didn't go unnoticed. He smirks.
"Kiyoomi..." and how it was above whisper finally finally drives him to say something, but muffled in a chaste kiss. Longing and nervous eyes close, hands wrap around each other, lips on lips and an internal thank fuck.
Kiyoomi gently bites a lower lip like he has always wanted to and his inner self is celebrating at the pliant opening of a mouth. Was that a gasp? A moan? Kiyoomi drunkenly drinks it.
Ah. If I had done this instead of literally nothing...He thinks to himself.
He feels Atsumu lose his footing so he tightens his hold around the shorter man's waist before letting go to breathe in air. Kiyoomi's smugness is off the charts because Atsumu is red, crystal eyes with a hint of mist and a string of saliva connects the two of them. The blond pouts and Kiyoomi is gone.
One peck, two pecks, three, four and five. Six is languid and all to weaken Atsumu, disabling him from leaving again.
Kiyoomi hopes he has said enough this time.
"Kiyoomi..."
"Yes?" Seven.
Atsumu reaches out for his cheek and Kiyoomi wonders if it's a feather or fondness in fingers that is taking the liberty in touching him. He can't help but to kiss them just as softly, and takes Atsumu's hand to place another kiss on the palm.
"Am I reading this, right?" Kiyoomi prefers this spread of blush and shy demeanor over the dejected one from last night.
He smiles.
"You are." Ten.
fin.