Work Text:
baby, I'm too lost in you.
It starts with a coffee.
Just one harmless, friendly coffee. At least that is what Serena tells herself.
Nate and her are friends.
Have been friends forever.
There is nothing wrong with having a coffee together.
-
Problem is, the coffee led to dinner, led to cocktails and now Serena just woke up in a bed that’s not hers, with an arm around her that doesn’t belong to her still-husband.
Fuck.
She carefully lifts Nate’s arm from her waist and crawls off the bed. Then she tries to find her clothes in the mess Nate and her created.
Serena didn’t have to do that for a very long time and she’s apparently out of luck because her scramble to find that damn Dior dress – why did she even wear a Dior dress to fucking coffee – wakes Nate.
“Serena? What are you doing?”
She looks at him. He sits up, his hair still a mess, his eyes sleepy. There is a hickey on his throat. Stupidly handsome.
“I, um- I wanted to-“
“Leave?”
“Yes?”, she winces. Nate laughs.
“Why?”
“Because we had sex.”, she shock-whispers.
He shrugs.
“So? We had sex before.”
“That was an entirely different situation.”, Serena states. Finally, she finds the stupid dress.
“Serena.”, Nate gets up and lays a hand on her arm. “Calm down.”
“How can I calm down?”, she throws her hand up. “I am married, Nate.”
“Technically, yes.”, he holds up a hand when she opens her mouth. “You guys are filing for divorce though. You’re not together anymore. Just on paper.”
“Yes, but- “
“It’s just sex Serena.”, Nate answers. “It doesn’t mean anything, if you don’t want it to mean anything.”
“My mind is just a complete mess right now.”, her voice wavers. “I just got back to New York, Dan is somewhere in the Hamptons, sulking. I haven’t talked to my mom about Dan yet, she will be so disappointed, God. I barely talked to Blair, who is also struggling with her marriage. I need to call Eric, but he is in Paris with Jenny, and time zones are so difficult. Technically, I am a creative consultant for a team writing a script for a movie adaption of Pride and Prejudice, I just-”, Serena feels like she’s on the edge of tears. She hates this. So much.
“Breathe for a moment”, he says and pulls her into a hug.
“I feel like a 16-year-old teenager, Nate. I’m supposed to have my life together by now.”, her voice is muffled as she speaks into his bare chest.
(Is he naked? Oh god.)
“First of all, an adaption of Pride and Prejudice? Aren’t there like a bazillion adaptions out already?”, he loosens the hug and steps back.
He is not fully naked. Thank God.
Serena laughs. “It’s like one of those modern adaptions. With implemented social media and all that.”
“So, Mister Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett are social influencers?”
“Something like that.”, she grins. Her chest feels less heavy. She lets out a big breath, before massaging her temples. Great, she is hangover too.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’re old friends, dump on me what you want.”
She nods and then doesn’t know what else she can say. Her cheeks feel hot.
Nate takes over for her.
“Breakfast? Or do you still want to run out on me?”
She swats him on the arm and laughs.
“Breakfast.”
*
“You had what?”, Blair gasps.
Serena winces.
“Sex with Nate?”, she tries again. Blair looks at her with such a disappointed expression, that she feels like a teenager.
“You couldn’t have picked someone less complicated than that, Serena? Nate? You couldn’t have sex with a nameless stranger that you would never see again? Instead, you chose Nate?”
Blair shoves a potato in her mouth and chews angrily.
“I didn’t mean to. It just happened.”
“You wore a Dior dress to coffee.” Blair breathes in deeply, then puts on her scheming-face. “Well, whatever. It’s done now. More importantly, what do we do now?”
“Nothing?”
“Wrong! Will you have sex again?”
“Ever?”
“Serena.”
“Of course not!”
*
They have sex again.
And again.
And then, again.
*
“You still haven’t told your mom about Dan?”, Nate raises his eyebrows.
They’re in bed. (Fully clothed, for anyone that thinks otherwise!)
“Rufus and her are travelling right now so I don’t wanna disturb them”, she just answers and doesn’t look at him.
He snorts.
“Yeah, sure.”
Serena tries to look offended.
“Serena, you have to talk to her at some point. She’s your mother, she’ll understand.” – He pauses and grins. Serena’s heart beats a little faster in her chest – “And it’s not like she doesn’t know how it is like to get divorced.”
“Haha”, she groans. “It’s just a bit more complicated. Weird enough that Dan and I were married, while Lily and Rufus were together, now we got divorced a year after. Also, I don’t know if Dan has already talked to them and– ”
“Stop.” He puts a hand on her shoulder.
“Call your mom later, tell her what happened and I’m very sure she’ll react as supportive as Lily van der Woodsen can.”
Serena tries to smile.
“I gotta go now, though. Stay if you want? We can meet for dinner tonight? I’ll text you. I don’t know how long the meetings will take tonight.” He gets up from the bed.
She watches him packing his stuff, humming to himself.
If only she could stay in Nate’s room forever, hidden from the outer world, safe and content.
“Nate”, she says.
He looks up
.
She smiles. “Thank you.”
He walks towards the bed, leans down and presses a soft kiss on her lips.
“I’ll see you tonight?”
She nods.
“Call your mom”, he just says, winks and walks out the door.
She flops back on the bed and takes a deep breath.
*
A few hours later she’s back in her mom and Rufus’ apartment. They’re still gone; Serena remembers her mom telling her they won’t be back until a week after, so she should be safe.
She drops down on the couch and sighs.
Time to get shit done, then.
Her mom is surprisingly chill when she calls her.
Chill in a way that almost creeps Serena out. Then Rufus starts complaining in the back(ground) about Dan not telling him about it (“Why didn’t he call me? I could have helped him with that!” and “What about our waffle-mornings?!”) accompanied by her mom laughing and it kind of calms her down.
“We’ll get lunch together”, her mom says before she hangs up, in this soft voice that she uses when she tries to tell Serena, it’s okay (Her mom is not really good at a mother-daughter heart-to-heart but she tries.) and her heartrate slows down even more. “And then we’ll talk about it. Just you and me.”
She even adds a “And I’m not disappointed in you, Serena. Life happens and it’s too short for suffering.”
Serena has to blink very hard to keep the tears at bay and she nods even though her mom cannot see her.
“Yes, yeah I would like to have lunch.”, she answers hastily and is grateful that her voice doesn’t crack.
Her mom hangs up and Serena lets out the breath she was holding.
That is done, then.
*
“Serena van der Woodsen and Nate Archibald - rekindling their old romance? Those two were just spotted getting coffee! Serena was romantically hanging on maybe-soon-to-be-mayor Nate Archibald’s arm. Is that the end of her fairytale marriage to sulking writer Dan Humphrey? Read more here”, Blair reads out loud as soon as Serena picks up the phone.
There is silence.
“Um.”
“Serena.”
Serena starts to giggle.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Sulking writer Dan Humphrey? Maybe-soon-to-be-mayor Nate Archibald? It’s absurd. As is the headline.”
“Are you sure?”
“Sure of what?”
“That the headline is ‘absurd’.”
“Of course it is, Blair. Nate and I are just having fun. As friends.”
There is a sigh on Blair’s end.
“Just. Be careful”, Blair says. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Or anyone else.”
Serena doesn’t ask who she means with anyone else.
*
“Did you see it?”, she is at Nate’s apartment. (Like every other night.)
He looks up from his desk.
“See what?”, he asks. His tone is neutral but Serena thinks she hears a note of defensiveness in it. He probably knows then.
“The article about us.”
“Us?”
“You know. Us getting coffee. Being romantically linked. That”, it’s like she’s forgotten how to speak these days.
“Oh yeah, that. My team sent it to me.” He continues typing on his laptop, before he stops and looks up. “Do you want us to send out a statement?”
“What kind of statement?”
Nate smiles.
“A statement that states whatever we want it to state.” He looks back at his laptop and sighs.
Serena feels weird.
“I don’t know. It would make it seem like we actually care what they say and that just makes it look like there is actually some truth to it.”
Nate has stopped typing but he doesn’t look up to meet her eyes.
“Nate?”
He looks up. His face is impassive. She can’t read it.
She used to be able to do that.
He smiles.
“So, you don’t want to release a statement?”
“Yeah. It wouldn’t be wise to pay attention to those rumours”, she answers, a bit unsure.
He just nods.
“Alright.”
The weird feeling in her stomach stays.
(Even when he closes his laptop a moment later and crawls on the bed.)
*
Nate has been weird.
Closed off, ever since they talked about that article.
Serena needs to talk about it, but Blair is spending some time with Chuck and Henry in Greece. (After they had another fight about Chuck not spending enough time in New York.)
She considers calling some work colleagues, going out for drinks and then to just kind of ramble about it with them but what if they tip someone off? She can’t risk that and she can’t risk somehow interfering with Nate’s campaign. It’s the last thing she wants.
So she ends up calling her brother who picks up with a groan.
“Hello?”
“Hey!”, she says, shuffling around in the kitchen, trying to make something eatable.
“Hey!”, her brother says. Then, “It’s like the middle of the night. Are you calling me with something life-threatening or are you just bored?”
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know who to call.”
He sighs.
“What is it?”
“Nate’s been weird.”
“Okay? Weird how?”
“He’s been more distant. I don’t know.”
“Distant how?”
“Are there different ways of being distant?”, she snaps and then cringes. “Sorry. It just stresses me out.”
“Yeah, I know. You hate when people are mad at you.”
“He’s not responding to my texts in the way he used to before, he doesn’t initiate to meet up, I haven’t seen him for a few days now. It’s just weird.”
“Did something happen?”
“No, not really.”
“Serena.”
“We were spotted getting coffee and he asked if I wanted his team to release a statement about it and I said something like ‘no, that just makes it seem like there is something to it’ and he already reacted weirdly to that, but I didn’t think much of it, because he’s stressed and afterwards we also had se- “
“I don’t need to hear details, thank you!”
“Yeah, whatever, we spent the night together and when I woke up, he was already gone but left a note saying he’ll call me. And then I had to call him a day after because he didn’t.”
“Oh. Serena.” Her brother’s voice has taken on a pitying tone.
Ew.
“What?”
“I can’t believe that you’re this dense sometimes”, her brother groans. “Don’t you think you may have hurt him a little when you said that your relationship doesn’t mean anything?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“Well, you implied it!”
“No?”
“Yes. Talk to him. Tell him you are sorry if you hurt his feelings and that he means something to you, whatever, I don’t know.” He yawns.
“You think I hurt him?”
“Nate Archibald might look and act like a frat bro most of the time but he is actually sensitive. I don’t know why I even need to tell you this. You guys have known each other since high school.”
“… Yeah. You’re right. I’ll talk to him. Sorry for waking you up”, she murmurs. “How are things going with your French man? What was his name? Pierre?”
“I’ve decided to stay the hell away from men. That’s how things are going”, he deadpans.
Serena snorts.
*
She can do this.
She can do this.
Can she do this?
She probably can’t do this.
She’s standing in front of the building where Nate’s offices are in, holding some damn coffee in her hand and trying to persuade herself into just going in. She really has returned to being a teenager.
Maybe getting divorced does that to you.
As she is turning on her heel, she hears a cough and a “Serena?”. She turns around and there is Nate, looking at her, smiling.
He looks way too good.
She cannot do this.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” He steps closer. “Is that coffee?”
She nods.
“Is it for me?”
“Yeah.”
He takes the cup she is holding towards him.
“Not that I don’t appreciate it but to what do I owe this honour?”
“Um. I wanted to talk to you.”
“You wanna go inside or should we walk?”
“Inside is good.”
It’s safe. No one there to see them.
She walks inside, he follows her. Her mind is spitting out doubtful images and thoughts but she tries her best to just ignore all of it.
They walk into the office that is already buzzing with people. Nate nods to everyone and gestures for Serena to take place in his own office.
He sets down his cup at his desk.
“I’ll be back in a second. Just making sure no one disturbs us while we talk.” He closes the door.
Serena realizes just how little she actually knows about Nate’s work life because she doesn’t recognize anyone walking around.
He comes back, closes the door again and silence envelopes them.
After a few moments of silence, he asks: “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“I’m sorry”, she blurts out.
“Sorry for what?”
“Sorry for acting like we don’t mean anything. I didn’t mean it the way it probably sounded.”
She cringes. What kind of dumb apology is that?
He nods. “Okay. Thank you, but you didn’t need to apologize for that, I wasn’t offended or anything.”
She’s going to kill Eric.
“You’re acting weird though”, she points out, feeling a bit hurt.
“What, why?”, he looks confused.
“Responding slowly to my texts, being absent, I don’t know. Something feels off”, she exclaims, suddenly feeling so very stupid.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s not because of you and me though”, he answers. “It’s just – there is a lot to do right now. We’re preparing to announce the campaign and I also need to figure out what to do with The Spectator plus my family and all that. It’s just a lot. I’m sorry if you felt neglected or left out, it wasn’t my intention.” He smiles.
Serena wants to hide.
“I’m sorry. You’ve got a lot on your plate and here I am whining about you not returning my calls”, she laughs and covers her face with her hands. “God, I’m so stupid.”
She hears movement and suddenly there are hands prying her fingers from her face. Nate is crouching in front of her, looking into her eyes, smiling.
“It’s cute”, he grins. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
She doesn’t reply but she also doesn’t look away.
“I wish you would have told me about this. I don’t wanna be annoying but maybe I could have helped you feel less stressed.”
“You’re never annoying.”, he says and when she doesn’t really react to that, he sighs.
“I didn’t wanna burden you with this, you’ve got a lot to do too. And I really didn’t think you’d mind not hearing from me for a few days.”, he stands up from his crouched position in front of her and takes her hand. “Let me make it up to you. You want to have dinner this week? I’ll call you after this hectic mess is sorted out.”
She nods. And can’t stop the smile growing on her face.
He kisses her – fast but still heated.
“See you then.” His voice is rough.
*
He calls two days later.
*
She’s with Nate in a secluded space in some overprized Italian restaurant when the paparazzi spot them. (Again.)
“Oh no.” She buries her head in her fingers.
He just laughs.
“Why are you laughing?”
“I’m just smiling through the pain”, he says and laughs even more when she kicks him in the shin.
“What was that for?”
“They will print some bullshit story about us being a couple again and it’ll be all over New York’s gossip magazines and blogs.”
“But would that be so bad?”
Serena looks up and into Nate’s eyes. He stares back, seemingly relaxed but Serena sees out of the corner of her eyes that his knuckles are white.
“Us being portrayed as a couple in the media?”, she asks while her mind starts screaming at her.
Hopefully Nate takes the bait and they won’t have to talk about whatever it is that they have.
“Us being a couple”, he says.
He didn’t take the bait.
“Nate…”
“What? We behave like a couple already anyways. Why not try it? Let the paparazzi and gossip hunters think what they want, I don’t care.” He interlaces his hand with hers.
She stares at their hands together, ignoring the warmth that is spreading through her whole body.
“I- “
“What are you so afraid of Serena?”, his voice is soft. Quiet. Peaceful.
She closes her eyes.
“I just don’t know if it’s the right thing. What about your campaign? We can’t afford to mindlessly rush into this. I just got separated from Dan, I’m technically still married. I – oh God.”
How could she have forgotten Dan?
“What if Dan sees this before I talked to him?”
“Dan is in the Hamptons, probably holed up, smoking and writing another novel. He won’t see anything. You can always meet up when he comes back to New York. Or we drive down there and talk to him about everything. I’m sure he won’t be that upset.”
-
“This isn’t working anymore”, Dan’s voice is tired, almost monotone. They sit at the table, dinner in front of them. “We’re both so unhappy, Serena”, the monotone voice switches to something that’s almost frantic. “The constant fights, the disagreements, we both want different things, I- I just cannot do it anymore.”
She nods and she knows - oh, she knows - he is right. It’s been over for a while now. But the pain is still sharp in her belly, her chest aches. Finally, the tears come and when she looks up, the desperation she is feeling is also etched into his face. His cheeks are wet. She hasn’t felt this young in years.
“I know”, she whispers. “I know.”
–
“Nate”, she whispers. “I don’t know.”
He grips her hand a bit stronger, his thumb stroking over the back of her hand.
“I love you”, he says. “I think, I’ve always loved you, I never stopped. And I know it is a bit of a dick move to put this on you right now, but I hope you’ll understand. The campaign is important, but you are more so. Think about it. I’ll wait, alright? You don’t have to decide tonight.”
He smiles, as if he hasn’t just dropped a truth bomb on her.
She stares at him, blinking.
“Should we eat?”, he asks and smiles at the waitress who starts coming over.
“I – yes. Food.”, she stutters.
*
“WHAT?”, Blair screeches.
Serena winces.
“Men.” Her best friend shakes her head. “So, he dropped the ‘I’ve always loved you’ on you, ordered pizza and got you a cab to go home afterwards? And you let him?”
“What was I supposed to do?”, Serena gets defensive.
“Leave?”
“I didn’t want to leave”, Serena murmurs and starts playing with the hem of the sweater she put on. (Yes, it belongs to Nate. And no, Blair doesn’t know its Nate’s.)
Blair just shoots her a look.
“Why are you angry with me?”, Serena crosses her arms. “I didn’t do anything!”
“You just started an affair with your ex who is also my ex, while still being married to Dan who is also my ex!”, Blair exclaims. “And now you managed to make him fall in love with you, while also falling in love with him!”
“Who says I’m in love with him?”
Blair just grimaces.
“I never said I loved him!”
“You didn’t have to.” Blair takes a big gulp of her margarita. “It’s written all over your face.”
Serena opens her mouth to deny it but then shakes her head.
No, Blair is right.
She sighs.
“Does Dan know?”, Blair asks, her head snapping towards Serena.
She just shakes her head.
“No, how would he know?”
“You need to tell him.”
“I know.”
“You need to tell him before it hits the press. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt even more than he probably already is.” Blair’s voice is weirdly sombre.
Huh.
“Don’t tell him I said that.”
“Of course not. You feeling sorry for Dan, how embarrassing.”
“Tell him, though. It’s not fair and it’s not like you went out in a big fight.”
“Yes, we will”, Serena says, not thinking.
“There you have your answer.” Blair finishes her drink.
“Huh?”
“You said we.”
*
Serena decides she needs some time to think about what Nate told her. So she does what a responsible woman in her age does and texts him:
>> Need some time to think. will call u. talk later. <<
She bites on her lip. It does seem a bit cold.
So she sends another text.
>> ♥ <<
Then she throws the phone away and screams into her pillow.
(He answers with a smiley face and a thumbs-up.)
*
Her mom comes back a day later and calls her.
They meet up the next day.
“So, Serena…”, her mom says looking at her through her glasses. “Any news you want to share?”
“What?”
Her mom just keeps looking at her.
“I’m just sorting through things right now, work has been going alright, the script is already finished and now I’m just going through some job offers.”
Her mom nods.
“How are you feeling?”
Serena shrugs and sighs.
“I don’t know.”
“Serena.”
“I don’t know, mom. It’s all kind of a mess right now, my feelings are everywhere. I don’t know.”
Her mom grabs her hand.
“Okay. I won’t dig. But have you heard from Dan? Rufus is a bit worried and I have to say I am too. He’s not returning our calls and just sent a thumbs-up when Rufus texted him, asking how he was doing.”
“The divorce papers are getting prepared. When I emailed him about it, he replied with an ‘Alright’. That’s it.”
Serena has tried not to be hurt by the total silence coming from her still-husband. She knows it’s his way of dealing with the whole thing. But it still stings. (And maybe it is selfish to be upset that your husband whom you’re divorcing isn’t talking to you, but they did say they wanted to be friends. She won’t talk to her mom about that though.)
Lily nods.
“And how’s Nate?”
There it is.
Serena just raises her eyebrows. Her mom tries to hide her smile.
“It’s alright to move on after a marriage. Besides, Nate and you always seemed to gravitate towards each other.”
“Mom…”
“I’m not judging”, she says. “And neither is Rufus. We just want you to be happy. And if Nate makes you happy, I’m glad.”
“We’re not. There is not-”, she is stumbling over her words. “There’s no relationship.”
“Do you want there to be one?”
Serena is saved by the waiter who brings their food.
After they’ve eaten a bit, her mother returns to her torture though.
“So?”
“So what?”
“Do you want to be in a relationship? With Nate?”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why not?”
“I am getting divorced right now, mom. From the guy I thought to be the love of my life. We haven’t even been separated for more than two months yet. Besides Nate and I tried it out once. It didn’t work. Who says it’ll work now?”, she hisses.
Lily just smiles sadly.
“Honey… I get that you’re afraid. And that you don’t want people to judge you. And I don’t want to push you into something you truly don’t want. I just want you to be happy.”, she sighs.
Serena massages her temples.
Can’t she have one simple lunch without having to talk about relationships? She’s failing the Bechdel test on every occasion there is.
“Nate and I are seeing each other”, she says then, the words spilling out of her mouth. “He said he loved me and that he wants to be with me. I told him I need to work things out in my mind and will get back to him. Can we please talk about something else now?”
She stabs some grilled squash and puts it into her mouth.
“Sorry”, her mom just says. “Okay, tell me about your current project? Pride and Prejudice with Instagram?”
Serena gladly takes this opportunity to switch topics and talks about the movie for the rest of their lunch. Her mom has to just sit there and listen. When Serena’s finished, she asks about Lily’s trip with Rufus and gets to hear about that.
No more Nate talk.
No more Dan talk.
*
Nate calls her in the evening.
“How are you?”
She stares out of the window, looks at the many lights that illuminate New York when it gets dark.
“I’m a little on edge”, she admits. “But it’s nothing that I won’t be able to deal with. How are you?”
He laughs a little.
“Stressed. I don’t know what to do with The Spectator. It might look best if I sell it to not make it seem like I’ve got a bonus in media coverage or whatnot.” He sighs. “I don’t want to, though. What do you think?”
“Why don’t you want to?”
“That magazine was my first own thing. It had nothing to do with my family, I truly earned my position there. I just don’t want to give it up, since I worked so hard on it. It’s my baby and it’s where I’m most comfortable.”
Serena hums.
“What?”
“I think sometimes it’s best to let go of things. Even if you don’t really want to. Most of the time it’s just that people are scared to let go of the things that they’re comfortable with.”
“So, you think I should sell?”
“Not directly. If your gut tells you not to sell it, don’t. But if the only reason for you not to sell is that you fear you won’t have anything that you can fall back on, I would say to at least think about. You also could just sell a part of it and still be on the board or something.”
Nate is quiet for a while.
“Yeah. I’ll think about it. Thank you. Have a good night.”
“Good night”, Serena says softly.
*
“UUUUugh.”
“Stop being melodramatic”, Blair says and raises her eyebrow. Selena looks up from the pillow she buried her head in.
“I’m suffering. You’re my best friend. Be sympathetic.” She pouts.
“I am. But you need to get it together.” Her best friend purses her lip. “No men talk. How’s your project doing?”
Serena frowns.
“Why ‘no men’ talk? Did something happen with Chuck?”
Blair chuckles.
“No. How could it? It’s not like he is ever here.”
Oh.
“Enough of this. Tell me about the script.”
Serena sits up.
Blair is right. She can’t spend her days thinking about Nate. She has a life, she is a successful woman, she has better stuff to do.
“It’s coming along nicely, I think”, she answers. “We had a meeting this morning and everyone was really motivated to finish the script and send it to the production firm for the formal ‘ok’. I feel like we’ve done something unique which – given that Pride and Prejudice is everywhere – was not to be expected.”
Blair nods.
“I’m glad.”
“Yeah, me too. The team has been great.”
Blair smiles.
“I’m happy to hear that. It took you a while to find something that you wanted to do that fulfils you at the same time.”
“Yeah, I know. The whole freelancing thing feels really good to me right now.”
“Good.”
Blair wobbles a bit.
“Is there something else you wanted to talk about?”
“Well…”
“Blair.”
“I could use your help with a fashion project that’s coming up soon.”
“Me? I’m hardly qualified.”
“You’re still a New York fashion icon, Serena. I would appreciate your help and input.” Blair continues without even waiting for an answer: “You would basically just help with the shoot and the show. I’m hoping to sell this collection to one of the biggest warehouses in the US, so it needs to be perfect. And I’ll pay you of course..”
Blair looks her in the eyes.
“You are the one I trust most. So?”
Serena nods.
“Send me the schedule. I’ll see what I can do.”
*
“Blair asked me to help her with the photoshoot and the fashion show.”
“Oh?”, Nate raises his eyebrows. They’re in a coffee shop near his offices. Serena cradles a hot mug of coffee.
“Yeah. I haven’t been involved with the fashion business for a few years, it’ll be interesting.”
“Sounds good”, Nate says. Then, “I’ll announce that I’m running for office in two days. We’re having a little office party. Will you come?”
“Yeah, sure.”, Serena smiles and takes his hand. “I’m very proud of you, Nate. That is another huge step in your career.”
He smiles – a little bashfully and looks at their joined hands.
“Thank you.”
“Are you nervous?”
He shrugs.
“Not yet at least.”
She grins at him.
“You sure about that?”
He laughs. Serena stares a little too long at the small wrinkles that appear around his eyes when he does that.
“Maybe I’m a bit nervous but I’ve got many people that got my back, so it’s all good.”
“You’re counting me, too, right?”
“Should I?”
“Nate.” She raises an eyebrow. “I’ll always have your back. You must know that.”
He nods.
“I’m just kidding.”
And he smiles, and doesn’t he look lovely in the sunlight filtering through the lightly smudged windows of the coffee shop, with his little wrinkles and quiet laughs and –
“I love you”, she blurts out before she can stop herself.
He raises his head from where he looked at his coffee and raises his eyebrows.
“Huh?”
“I didn’t mean to say that”, she groans. But as she sees his smile dropping, she panics a bit. “I mean, it is true, I love you. I love you. I just didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.”
He snorts.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Serena doesn’t know what to do. Maybe she should flee the scene?
Nate doesn’t seem fazed that much, drinking his coffee and just peacefully sitting here in this coffee shop with a woman who just expressed her love for him.
Serena wants to feel that peaceful too.
So, to hell with it all. Fuck it.
“Yeah. I love you. My mind is at peace with you around. You give me strength, you make me laugh, you make me feel light. Please be my boyfriend.”
Nate blinks.
“Huh?”
“Be. My. Boyfriend”, she repeats and drinks the last of her coffee to fake some bravado. “Please”, she adds.
He starts laughing and hides his face in his hands.
“Nate, please don’t laugh at me.”
He looks up, still laughing. His hair is golden in the sunlight. Serena loves him way too much.
“How is that even a question? Of course I’ll be your boyfriend. I’ll be whatever you want, honestly.”
He moves closer, their legs touching. He takes her hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles.
“May I kiss you now? In public?”
“Please do”, she says breathlessly and feels him smiling against her lips a second later.