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Sesshōmaru…
His eyes flew open immediately. He would recognise that voice anywhere, even deep within the grasp of sleep as he surely was right now.
I’m so cold.
He thought his ears caught scratching sounds from the window. It can’t be. Icy dread chilled his veins. She was gone—he had seen it for himself. He still remembered clutching her cooling body while they were trapped deep within the hell they called Naraku.
Let me in.
“Kagome…” Sesshōmaru hadn’t needed to speak her name in a long time.
I’ve come home. Why won’t you let me in?
He shook his head, dazed. Surely it could not be his lost love calling out for him in such piteous tones. He rose from the futon, but froze with indecision a few feet from the window where he heard her voice. Even though she sounded far away, there was no disguising the hurt and confusion in her voice. The scratching noises became louder.
Kagome had come back somehow—his intended had been an obstinate, powerful woman. Long had he waited, and perhaps she had finally returned to him at last. Perhaps people from her time had their own methods of defying death. It was something they had never thought to discuss in their many conversations. It was something he still regretted.
“Kagome.” Her name was a sigh on his lips. When he finally reached the windows and reached through with grasping claws, he felt nothing but the damp chill of the night.
“Where’s Rin?”
“Naraku has taken her.” In the grips of fury, his voice was harsh and cold even to his own ears. But Kagome knew him too well and did not mind. Instead, he saw her anger and worry clear as day on her expressive face.
“You have to find her. Who knows what Naraku wants with her?” She spoke with the strength he so admired.
Still, he hovered near her, indecisive. Once again, Kagome read him easily. “I’ll be fine. You know my friends wouldn’t leave me.”
He did not question her companions’ devotion, only their capability. He swept a skeptical over the motley crew, taking in their anxiety but also their resolve. “Go on, Sesshōmaru. Rin needs you. Meet up with us when you’ve gotten her to safety.”
Kagome stood on tiptoe, pressing a kiss to his cheek, her lips soft and comforting. The sensation warmed him so thoroughly that he almost missed Inuyasha’s violent snort of disgust and the awkward clearing of several throats. “You go find your daughter.”
But even as her words told him one thing, the hand lingering on his chest told him another. It wasn’t until she gave him a gentle push of encouragement that he thought to leave. “Meanwhile, we’ll go kick some demon butt.”
He’d snorted at her language as he soared away in search of his ward. Kagome was powerful, even if her friends were not, and even then, they’d proven their devotion over time. He had no doubt any of them would die to protect her. Those thoughts were his comfort as he trawled the dark depths of Naraku’s body in search of Rin, ignoring his adversary’s frequent taunts and distractions. More than once, he slashed through an illusion of Rin that stood in the way of his task. Nothing would stand between him and his daughter, nor his intended mate.
The search for Rin took a long time—as he would find out later, too long. He heard Naraku’s howl of rage as he flew with Rin in search of safety, the visceral sound making his daughter tremble with fear within his arms. He had not known the cause for the demon’s rage at that moment.
He had looked for Kagome, but her scent had been so faint it had been much easier to track down his half-brother instead. Terror seized his heart when he found Inuyasha transformed and very much alone. Kagome nowhere in sight.
When he finally found her, she had been cold and alone in a distant corner of Naraku’s body, her blue eyes wide open and glassy, staring straight into darkness. The deep gouges across her chest had stopped bleeding long ago. He had reached for Tenseiga immediately, but the worthless sword did not pulse. Even as he drew it and slashed wildly through the air, he could not see the demon pallbearers. They had claimed her soul long ago.
The world lapsed into silence. He almost didn’t remember what happened next. But a few things he did remember: the frigid weight of her body in his arms, the way her unseeing eyes looked up at him as he carried her, the fire of his yōki burning through his blood as he fought with a viciousness that terrified even Kagome’s battle partners, now his own. Naraku had fallen, but so had she, so what did any of it matter?
After their wretched mission was complete, they had to pry her from his arms. The battle-scarred taijiya, hōshi, and hanyō—all set upon him with the intention of separating him from his Kagome. They cornered him by the stream where he still held her body, whispering desperately into her ears: “I love you, Kagome. I love you.”
How could they have known? How could any of them have known the bond he’d shared with Kagome—or intended to share with her? They had both made promises that were now broken.
It felt like a lifetime ago. Under the waning moon, he had turned to her, his usual confidence wavering as Kagome waited, patient as she always was when with him. “I do not know how humans prove their devotion. Thus I swear on my life. I shall protect yours at any cost.”
“That will be enough,” Kagome whispered. “For now.”
The cheeky grin on her face was her silently throwing down a challenge. He felt his own lips quirk in a responding wry grin despite the seriousness of the moment.
“What will satisfy you?”
Kagome’s smile turned mysterious, though she said nothing. The mischievous minx was going to make him guess, and he had no choice but to play along. “If you are asking to be mated to me, that will come in time.”
He caught her face in one large hand, gently raising it to his. “I will not have Naraku cast a shadow over our union when it happens.”
She laughed. “I already know that, Sesshōmaru. And I will be ready for you whenever you are.”
He raised an eyebrow. “But even that will not please you?”
“Oh, I am very pleased with this promise.”
“What then?”
“When you know that you love me.” He had been about to protest, but Kagome laid a finger on his lips. “You don’t have to tell me. You knowing it in your heart will be enough.”
Sesshōmaru battled with confusion, though he tried not to let it show.
“I will wait until you know it.”
“How could you possibly sense when I know it?”
Kagome gave him a thoughtful look. “I get the feeling that you’ll show me. You might even tell me.” Catching the frown on his face, she closed the distance between them and kissed his downturned lips. “And my promise to you is that I’ll wait until you are ready.”
He had tried to tell her, but it was too late. His words could not pierce the barrier that separated them in death. The knowledge shook him, and when he looked down upon her blank blue eyes again, horror and revulsion surged within him. This couldn’t be his Kagome—his Kagome was not dead. She was somewhere far away, but she could not be dead. The cold, rigid body in his arms was an impostor. He cast it down and fled, ignoring the concerned queries of her companions. He would not find her here. She was elsewhere. She had to be elsewhere.
Sesshōmaru had spent a long time away from the Western stronghold. After Naraku fell, he had tried to pass through the well that connected to her time. Even Inuyasha could not cross the barrier, but Sesshōmaru was undeterred. She was merely somewhere else, and he would find her. Somewhere across these lands, Kagome waited for him. This he knew.
That night, he laid down to rest, exhausted after combing the entirety of the Western territories. Though he had not found Kagome yet, the quest had worn him down. He needed sleep before setting out again tomorrow. Dreams claimed him immediately, and within them, he found the person he’d been desperately seeking.
They were lying under the shade of the trees, where the heat of the afternoon sun left him drowsy. His head pillowed in Kagome’s lap, he let her run her hands through the long, silky strands of his hair.
“You have such beautiful hair.”
He huffed, maintaining a frosty silence until Kagome laughed and condeded. “As is the rest of you.”
“That is accurate.”
Kagome’s voice oozed with wry mirth. “Very vain demon, aren’t you?”
He looked up at her through half-lidded eyes, catching sight of his mating mark on her neck, still glowing faintly green with his yōki. Contentment reached deep within his very bones, and he let the insult slide. Later though… when she was writhing beneath him in their bed, he’d tease her until she regretted that slight against her mate. His eyes slid shut, and he distantly heard Kagome’s warm giggle as he purred with satisfaction. His reputation as the fearsome Killing Perfection had long been ruined, and he could not bring himself to care.
The shōji door rattled. He woke immediately, sitting up from his futon. He was already covered in a fine sheen of sweat.
Sesshōmaru…
It was Kagome’s voice again. He had not heard it for the forty-nine days he had spent outside of his own bed. Now that voice was pleading. Let me in. I’m so cold.
He cupped his ears with shaking hands. This quivering voice could not be Kagome’s. Not once had he heard her speak in these tones, unsteady with pain and sadness. His Kagome had always spoken to him with warmth and confidence. Even in moments of unhappiness, she never sounded quite like this. How was he to believe that she was now weeping outside his door?
“Leave me alone,” he rasped, his throat tight. “Go away.” The spectre of Kagome’s voice refused to abandon him. Carrying through the barrier of his hands, he still heard her loud and clear.
It’s me, Kagome. I’ve come home. Don’t you miss me?
Of course I miss you. Why else did he feel this cold deep within him? What else drove him to comb his lands—and the rest of Japan—if not his longing for her? He had been trying to find her, to bring her home to him—
The shōji rattled again. Any harder and he was sure the door would pop right off its tracks. It shook within its frame, making such an awful racket that Sesshōmaru wondered distantly how it had not woken the rest of his household.
Let me be by your side again. Let me put things right.
Right. He couldn’t remember the last time things had felt “right”. Not since Kagome had parted from him. He knew—of course he knew—that her heart had stopped beating a long time ago, and yet his own continued to yearn for her. He swallowed, mind working furiously as the woman outside his door continued her plaintive wails.
He wouldn’t remember what made him answer the door eventually. Perhaps it was the knowledge that his quest might soon be complete. Or it could’ve been the reluctant understanding that there was no other way. Maybe it was the simple wish of wanting her to hear that he finally knew. I love you.
Sesshōmaru watched with wide eyes as his long lost lover crossed the threshold, her foosteps soundless, her luminous form clad in unfamiliar blue miko robes. The dull colour did her beauty no justice, for despite the darkness, her blue eyes were bright, shining like beacons, drawing him towards her. Time had not erased his memory of their burning intensity or diminished their allure.
His would-be mate parted pale lips. “I’ve been away too long,” He heard Kagome say, arms outstretched as she came towards him. “It’s been so dark and lonely on the other side.”
Sesshōmaru wanted to answer, but he could not find the right words. You have stolen them right out of my mouth, he would’ve said. Instead, he took the few steps that still separated them, feeling the yawning infinity between them reduce to nothing as he reached for her hand.
Together, neither of them would be cold again.