Work Text:
Squidward faces the fact that today will be another crappy day after a customer trips and spills his tray of food all over him.
"Whoops! Guess that's what you get paid for." The customer snickers while Mr. Krabs promises the them another meal ("For full price!").
Squidward let's out a low growl, dragging a tentacle down his face to get some of the muck off him. Just this morning he had gotten a golden plated letter that weighed more than his house that was from none other than Squilliam Fancyson himself, boasting about his successful life for the millionth time.
And here Squidward was, covered in patty grease and kelp shake. How was this his life?
"Here Squidward!" SpongeBob rushes out of the kitchen doors, juggling a large amount of napkins, and trying to help clean him up.
"Oh dear." SpongeBob mumbles while making it worse, patty stains getting larger and larger on Squidward's shirt "Hang on, I can fix this--" He spits on one of the napkins.
"Oh what does it matter anyway, what does a shirt matter compared to my miserable life. Can you fix that?!" Squidward shouts.
SpongeBob recoils back. "Ummmm."
"Of course you can't! I'm so sick of this, I'm sick of getting nowhere I'm sick of working in this dump and most of all, I am sick of you." Squidward seethes. "Why did he have to get the life I wanted after everything--" Squidward cuts himself off and slumps. "Doesn't matter, none of this will make a difference."
"I'm sensing you'd like some alone time, I'll just get out of your hair." SpongeBob retreats to the kitchen, only stopping to say one more thing. "You're really talented, I don't know why no one else sees that! But, you know, you're worth more than just what you can do."
"Whatever." Squidward sulks. What does Spongebob know about any of that anyway, he has a job he enjoys and is good at. He could never understand.
His Very Important Inner thoughts are interrupted by a puff of purple smoke. "What the--" He hacks. "SPONGEBOB this better...not be you..." He freezes upon seeing a tiny fairy with pink wings hovering in front of him. "W-wha?"
"You know, when I got the gig of granting happiness and fulfillment for as many fish under the ocean as possible, I didn't expect to have to deal with so many sourpusses as you!" The little fairy puts her hands on her hips.
Squidward rubs as his eyes. "Is anyone else seeing this..."
"Nope! No one else can hear me either."
"Oh great, I'm losing my mind. Just what I needed."
"I'm drawn to the scent of misery and repressed desires. Today's your lucky day, I'm here to make your life better!"
Squidward brightens. "Really?! Can you change everything I said made me sick earlier?"
"Of course! Although...are you sure you want ALL of it?"
"Yes! Are you kidding me?! It'd be a dream come true."
"Even the Sp--"
"All of it! I am not wasting my only chance."
"It's just, I'm kind of a expert at reading people's hearts and yours are--"
"Listen, lady, I don't know who you are but I don't care what magic you have, I think I know what I want."
The fairy rolls her eyes. "Fine, your wish is my command. It's Beatrice by the way." She waves a even tinier wand. "It won't take affect until you wake up tomorrow morning."
"Thank you!" Squidward grasps one of her miniature hands and vigrously shakes it. "Bright future here I come."
"Now I know why so many quit this job." Beatrice murmurs.
When Squidward wakes up in his normal bed in his normal house to the sound of clams chirping, he sighs. "What a ridiculous dream. I don't even believe in magic, pfft as if I would just SUDDENLY become recognised." He startles at the sound of his phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Hello Mr. Tentacles, I apologize that you have to spend an extra few days in that old house of yours, your mansion will be finished with renovations as soon as possible."
"My...mansion?"
"As I said, in a few days sir, enjoy your vacation." The line hangs up.
"That was weird." Squidward blinks a few times, wondering if he's still dreaming.
He gets up, has breakfast and gets dressed as usual, this time noticing a magazine on his kitchen counter.
"Is that...me on the cover? 'Looks, musically and artistically talented, Squidward tentacles has it all!'?" He pinches himself. "I'm not dreaming! Could it be?" He rushes outside excitedly.
He anticipates the moment where SpongeBob will burst out of his door and accompany him to work but it never comes. "Phew, must already be there. Suck up."
When he gets to the Krusty Krab he's delighted to see none other than Squilliam at the cashier's desk. "Oh this, this is perfect."
"Oh haha Squidward, come to gloat at me again have you? Need I remind you it was you here but a few months ago."
"What happened a few months ago?"
"Did you really forget your humble beginnings so quickly? Why when you got talent spotted of course. And became the next big thing." Squilliam replied through gritted teeth.
"Well," Squidward smirks. "Now you get an idea of what I suffered for over a decade. Has Spongebob forced you into becoming his new best friend yet?"
"Come again?"
"... Spongebob, the fry cook. You couldn't even be bothered to learn your fellow employees name?"
Squilliam huffs. "Of course I have, not that there's much point, Every fry cook is in and out within the week. There's never been a Spongebob here, though."
Squidward furrows his brow. "What are you talking about? Don't you remember my band performance? The guy who served you when I pretended the Krusty krab was my restaurant?"
"Served me? Good one Squiddy, I didn't even reach sitting down before I knew of your lies." Squilliam snorts. "I have no idea who you're talking about."
"Um...okay." Squidward felt a bit unnerved. "I'm just...gonna check in on old man Krabs."
"Ah yes, I was going to check if he was dead yet."
Squidward brushed that weird comment off as he approached Mr. Krabs office. He gave a knock on the door.
"Look, if this is about that money I owe ya I-" Mr. Krabs opens the door, looking surprised to see him. "It's just you, Squidward. Boy am I glad to see a familiar face right now arg arg, come to see the ol' Krusty krab one more time before she ends her sail?"
"Ends her sail? You mean, the Krusty Krab is closing down?"
"Aye lad, we all knew it was coming, it's been on it's last legs for a while."
"What? I mean the place is a dump, sure, but the food always kept this place alive."
"The food? What in Neptune are you talking about? The food hasn't been good in a looong time. People rather eat at the chum bucket."
Squidward pulls a baffled face. "Did you fire Spongebob again or something?"
"Are you messin' with me lad, who is Spongebob?"
"Is everyone getting spontaneous amnesia? SpongeBob, the little yellow guy who's been basically keeping this place going through sheer burger flipping talent and a lack of everything else?"
"Uhhh, never heard of him."
"You're joking."
"Nope.
"Spongebob. SpongeBob Squarepants. Annoying idiot who can never shut up. Impossible to ignore."
"Squarepants? What kinda name is that." Krabs chuckles, then sighs. "Ah well, thanks for the laugh. No frycook will even set foot in here anymore, it's really the end." He starts sobbing.
"Okay, well while you join Squilliam in this mass delusion, I'm going to head back home. Bye."
----
"Well, that was weird. Even moreso than usual." Squidward shrugs as he walks back home. He notices Patrick loitering outside his rock. "Aha! He'll know where the little guy went off to." He walks over to there but before he can open his mouth he gets a face full of dirt.
"Darn it! Where did I put it..." Patrick continues digging through the sand like a pet worm.
"Uh, Patrick?" More dirt lands on him and around him.
"Need...to find...pants..."
"Patrick, you're wearing your pants." Squidward sighs, now nearly up to his neck in sand.
"Oh! Hey you're right!" Patrick springs up. "I was playing find Patrick's Pants. Guess me isn't really good at hiding things."
"Riiiiight. Say, Patrick, do you happen to know where Spongebob is?"
"Who?"
Squidward groans. It's going to be one of those conversations with Patrick. "Your best friend. The one you spend every waking hour he's not at work with, our neighbour?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Patrick scratches his head. "What were we talking about?"
Squidward facepalms. "Nevermind."
"Wait, Squidward!"
"...Yes?"
"You know...I kind of feel like I'm missing something..." Patrick squints. "Something square and yellow."
"Uh huh, and how did you miss him?"
"Well, I finished what was inside it so then I had to throw it away."
"Are you talking about...Kelp flakes?"
"I just remembered why I needed to find my pants! I need to buy some more kelp flakes." Patrick holds out a hand. "Got any money?"
Squidward growls but forks over some cash anyway, he's rich now after all. Apparently.
"Thanks....uh cabinet man!"
"I play clarinet!"
----
Squidward brews himself a mug of herbal tea, and sits down to watch some public television. "I don't know where Spongebob is, but I could get used to this kind of quiet." Just as he says that, his phone rings.
"Hello." He greets serenely. "You want me to what? Preform? A concert? Thousands of adoring fans? I'll be right there." He leaps up and runs upstairs to get dressed.
As he flicks through his closet to pick what to wear, he catches sight of black material on the floor of his wardrobe. He pauses for a second then shakes his head and plucks out his nicest dark orange polo neck. He doesn't want to look TOO over the top after all, smooth jazz vibes and all.
He spritz some body spray he had saved for a special occasion, and makes his way to his boat, excitement making his hearts pump faster. He had really made it, apparently this was his fifth fully sold out concert. Sure he would like to know how it felt to actually get here in the first place but who cares! He's adored!
----
When he reaches the stage he's never felt more alive, when he starts playing he almost feels himself cringing waiting for the moment where everyone covers their ears and complains but it never comes.
Instead the sound of his clarinet is, dare he say, flawless and all he hears are the occasional tasteful cheers. And a thunderous round of applause when it's over.
"Thank you, thank you." Squidward can feel himself for once grinning widely. "You truly are a wonderful audience." He winks and a few people in the crowd swoon. "I must take my leave for now, but I promise I won't keep my adoring fans waiting for too long." He bows and walks off stage.
"Wow that was amazing!" He says to himself. "Wait till I tell spong--uh. It's fine, I'll just rub it in Squilliam's face instead."
His mood perks up again when he realises he won't be driving home, but going in a limo.
----
That night he falls asleep easily, ready for a good night's rest.
However his mind is plagued with a dream, of a hand reaching out towards him and a voice;
I'm scared. I miss you.
He wakes in the morning, pleasantly stretching, until he recalls the dream with a shudder. He can't quite place the hand or voice, and can feel it slip away more from his head the longer he's awake. "Ah well, couldn't have been that Important."
He hums as he makes breakfast and checks his schedule for the day (He was a little caught out yesterday). "Perhaps I'll go for a stroll around the town, bless it with my presence."
He only makes it out the front door when he hears a noise. "Spongebob?" He questions, recognizing it coming from the direction of the pineapple.
It's then he notices it looks run down, a bit like when it had rotted before. And that there was a certain snail by the front door.
"Meoooooow." Gary gave a pathetic wail.
"Gary? What the. Okay, something really weird is going on, Spongebob wouldn't just leave and let Gary fend for himself."
He approaches the snail carefully, when Gary he sees him he starts meowing frantically. "Calm down, I can barely speak snail."
"Meow, meow meow meow."
"You don't know where Spongebob is?"
"Meow meow, MEOW!? meoww meow..."
"And...no one else knows who you're talking about? That's funny, the same thing happened to me. Even Patrick doesn't remember him! Okay so that's not entirely out of character for him but he should notice at some point, right?"
Tears well up in Gary's eye stalks. "MEOWWWWW."
"OKAY! I'm sure he'll turn up...until then how about you...ugh, stay at my house?" He would try to palm the snail off on Patrick but he could just about be trusted with his own needs nevermind a pet.
"Meow!" Gary speeds towards him, pressing against his legs.
"Wait, my allergies!" He feels a prick at his eyes. "...I guess I'll pick up some antihistamines as well as snail food."
----
That Gary hasn't seem him, unnerves Squidward more. Was Spongebob really just...gone? Like he never existed? Squidward thought such a idea would make him happy but...
"Oh look honey, it's the guy who thinks he's too good for this town." An angry fish with his hands on his hips speaks.
Squidward looks around him. "Who, me?"
"Who else! You're sitting with all that money and you won't even help this place out, we made you!"
Another fish puts a fin on the others shoulder. "Now dear, let's calm down shall we? It's not that bad."
"Not that bad? This place is a tourist trap now! They all wanna see this guy's 'humble' beginnings. Prices are going up and we're losing everything! There's one grocery store in town now, ONE."
"...Sorry." Squidward mumbles, shuffling away.
----
He struggles back with a heavy bag of Snail food (which somehow cost more than he remembers the fancy food he has gotten for Snellie had.), And starts to realise maybe fame wasn't all he wanted it to be. For every person who was overjoyed to see him and asked for his autograph, there were two more mad about the side effects he caused to the town.
Prices really HAD gone up, and a lot of shops were just...empty shells of a building now.
"Yeesh." He's about to head home when he spots the only squirrel in town. "Sandy! If there's anyone sane left, she's bound to be it."
He walks up to Sandy, who is glancing at some various gizmos in a display window. "Am I glad to see you."
Sandy turns and cocks her head. "Uhh, do I know you?"
Squidward bristles at that, but then quickly remembers the amount of times he's forgotten who she is so...fair. "Squidward Tentacles, clarinet and art extraordinare." He pauses and frowns. "Ex-employee of soon to be defunct Krusty Krab."
"Oooh, yeah I've heard of ya. I'm sure you're mighty talented and all but I don't appreciate strangers accosting me on the street, famous or not. I'm not into fellas, anyhow."
"Um Ew, I'm not interested in you, no offence. Actually, I wanted to ask you about Spongebob?"
Sandy furrows her brows. "...Who?"
Squidward drops the bag of food and drags his tentacles down his face. "You have got to be kidding me, you too?!"
"Just what are you going on about?"
"Okay, look, there used to be someone in this town called Spongebob Squarepants, he worked at the krusty krab and was my neighbour and your friend! And now he's just GONE and no one remembers him but me and his pet snail who I now have to feed and I feel like I'm losing my mind!"
"Hmm." Sandy rubs the part of her bowl where her chin is in thought. "Interesting, I have noticed that there's been a anomaly in reality lately, I couldn't figure out the cause. Mind coming to my dome for some experiments?"
"...Will it hurt?"
"Nah...probably."
----
"Look at the difference between the readings of your brain and mine, notice anything missing?"
Squidward stares at Sandy blankly. "Do you really want me to answer that."
Sandy sighs in irritation, with a roll of her eyes. "I suspect if I scanned the brains of other Bikini Bottomites they would be missing this part right here too." She points to a small black spot. "It may look tiny, but something important seems to be missing from all of our lives, something is out of place that shouldn't be."
"Spongebob."
"Mhm, only thing is, I can't explain this one with science." She scratches her head. "The one thing I can think of that could do somethin' like this is...magic." she gives a short laugh. "But I don't really believe in that stuff."
"Ha, magic, what a load of barn-" Squidward's eyes widen as he suddenly remembers the events of a few days ago. "Oh no."
Sandy eyes him suspiciously. "Oh no what?"
"Well," Squidward nervously fidgets with his hands. "A few days ago I was complaining about my life, and then this...sea fairy showed up out of nowhere and said she could make all my dreams come true! I thought it was a load of hooey but next thing I know I'm famous and rich and."
"And?"
"One of my complaints, mayyyyy have been that I was sick of Spongebob."
"So, you played with the delicate fabric of REALITY?!"
"I didn't do it, Beatrice did!"
"Do you at least have any idea of where she may be? She might be the only way to fix this."
"Ummm no. She did say she's drawn to the scent of misery...?"
"You look plenty miserable."
Squidward scoffs. "Are you kidding me? This is the happiest I've ever been! My dreams all came true." He hopes she didn't notice the bags under his eyes.
"Whoopee, hope you enjoy all that until the universe falls apart."
"Come again?"
"When something is gone outside of natural occurrence, it can destroy everything. I'm gonna hafta figure out a way to track down this fairy."
"Good luck with that."
"You know, Mr. Tentacles, if you're really as uncaring as you're making yourself out to be, WHY did you come to me and WHY are you lookin' after the snail?" She raises an eyebrow.
Squidward narrows his gaze. "Don't psychoanalyse me."
So Spongebob is really gone. Well, this is just part of the dream coming true right? Why should Squidward care. Why does he care...?
Squidward gets lost in thought as he puts some of the dry snail food onto one of his fine plates. (The last thing he'd want to do, but at least he's rich enough to buy more).
"Meow meow."
"Yeah, I miss him too." Squidward shakes his head rapidly. "I mean, no I don't! You'll get over it."
Gary gives a hiss then focuses on his food.
"This is the thanks I get?" Squidward mutters to himself as he heads back to his room.
Despite what he said to Sandy earlier, he doesn't really feel like the happiest he's ever been. He doesn't even feel...happy. Stardom wasn't what it was cracked up to be and surprisingly in comparison his life seems...a little boring.
Which looking back, kinda makes sense. He remembers the time he moved to a gated community that should have been everything he could have wished for and it was! For a hot second. Then it just felt boring and mundane and he had missed Spongebob.
Is...is that what was happening now? Did he miss Spongebob?
Something about him not even existing in the world right now feels very...wrong.
He climbs onto his bed, lying over the covers and pulls his knees to his chest. "What have I done?" He whimpers. "Sure, there are days I could do without the little guy but I don't really want him gone forever!" He glances at his clock; it's only seven in the evening but already he feels like sleeping. "Maybe a nap will do me some good."
The drift to slumber feels nice, until he feels the tell tale pull of a dream. Not Again.
"Hey, Squidward!" SpongeBob waves enthusiasticly at him."
"What the-- where am I?!" Squidward looks around himself but aside from Spongebob all he can see is a black void.
"I have no idea. It sure is empty here, huh?" Spongebob laughs but it comes out strained.
"Spongebob...are you okay?"
"Now I know you're just another dream." Spongebob smiles a bit lopsidedly. "That's okay, I'll take whatever company I can get."
"Your dream? No, this is MY dream. Wait were you the one who talked to me last night."
"Huh." Spongebob blinks. "You remember that?"
"I mean, I forgot it before but I remember it now! You said you were scared..."
"I don't know where I am. And I don't know where any of my friends are. I'm completely alone." Spongebob hugs himself. "Am I in a coma or something...?"
Squidward feels tears welling up, he tries to get closer but it's like there's a invisible wall. "SpongeBob, it's all my fault!"
"I'm sure that's not true."
"You don't understand! I said I was sick of my life, my job, you and it all went away! I don't know how to bring you back." He starts sobbing. "I'm sorry, okay, I'm sorry! I don't want any of this anymore, not the fame or the money or or the fans or anything! I'd rather go back to being a cashier again, if it'd get you out of here."
"You'd...give all of that up...for me?"
"Of course!" Squidward looks scandalised. "I'm not...that much of a monster...am I?"
Before Spongebob can open his mouth the dream starts to fade away.
"Wait!" Squidward panics. "Don't go!"
He startles awake and doesn't get much sleep for the rest of the night.
He takes a long bath in the morning to calm his nerves, then makes himself a cup of coffee. He absentmindedly pats Gary on the shell after feeding him, who for a brief moment mistakes him for Spongebob and turns around excitedly only to mew sadly.
Unusually delicate knocking rapps against Squidward's front door, and he opens it with a sigh.
"Sir," a Burly blue fish greets him. "Your mansion is ready."
"Oh." He had forgotten this wasn't really his home anymore. "Give me a moment, I haven't packed." He rushes around finding an old suitcase and haphazardly starts shoving things in it. He pauses for a moment then runs back upstairs and digs a certain itchy sweater out of there and shoves that in too.
Finally he scoops up Gary.
"Is that...coming with you?" The driver questions.
"Yes, it's for um, charity! Supporting the local shelter." Squidward laughs nervously.
"Wow, even though you're allergic? You truly are a marvel, sir."
"Right." Squidward gets into the limo waiting for him and the car moves with a start. He watches through the window as it leaves Bikini Bottom and through other towns until he's somewhere he doesn't know.
Before he knows it, the limo is pulling into a large gate, and behind it a even bigger house.
"That's... mine?" Squidward gapes. It's huge and shaped like a picasso painting, the color is dark blue, not quite as dark as his old house, more closer to...
The shade of Spongebobs eyes. Why do I know that?
"I know, the paint job makes it look like an entirely new house!"
"Wait, I stayed at my old house because of a paint job."
"You were worried the paint fumes would damage your brain, and thus your artistic talents."
"Oh... right."
----
When he steps inside it's a eye hurting amount of gold and marble, beautiful masterpieces cover the walls and sculptures act as support columns.
He briefly regards it all with awe, until he notices how empty it is otherwise, nothing of comfort or warmth for such a large place.
"It's...kinda big for one person..."
"Good thing you got guests coming over later then. Enjoy!"
"Oh great, guests..." Squidward suddenly feels very small. "At least I won't be alone?"
----
"Squidward, your house is simply fabulous." A fish decked in pearl necklaces and a luxurious looking red dress speaks, as the final bunch of guests trickle in.
According to his schedule, this is a "House rewarming party", problem being he doesn't know who half these people are.
"Thanks." He sweats, yanking at his shirt collar and hoping no one notices his curt and informal speech.
"Loving the new album, Mr. Tentacles, it's simply perfect for my bouts of Croquet." Another fish chuckles nearby.
He starts to feel claustrophobic from the amount of people piling around him, compliments or not, and glances at his nonexistence watch. "Wow, would you look at the time! I have to get my beauty sleep, you gotta recharge talent like this."
"But, we just got here?" A shark pipes up.
"Yes, well, I've had a very long day and I need my space to work." He starts shoving people out the door.
"Artists." A fish scoffs as they leave.
Squidward slams the door and then realises his mistake. Between too many people via his stardom or a empty house there seemed to be no in-between.
"I either feel closed in or completely alone." Squidward sighs and slumps down against his front door. Gary appears from where he was hiding under a art piece and comes up to him, meowing softly.
"Why are you so nice to me? I've treated you and your owner so badly."
"Meow. Meow meow meow, meow meow." Gary sighs.
"You put up with me because you know he likes me? And he wouldn't be very happy with you if you left me all alone? Gary, I don't think he expects his pet to keep me company. I think he'd more likely be angry to find out no one had been looking after you."
"Meow meow." Gary leaves the room.
"You're going to get what?" Squidward's meek grasp of snail language fails him.
Gary comes back in, with the sweater Spongebob had made for Squidward so long ago draped across his shell.
Squidward considers for a moment. "I guess it's a good thing I put a polo neck on." He shrugs and takes the garment, pulling it on.
It's as itchy as he remembers, but easier to deal with with another layer of clothing on underneath, he pays attention to the "I ♡ U"s sprinkled all over it.
Gary meows happily for the first time in a while, crawling into Squidward's lap and falling asleep with a purr.
"Great, now I'm trapped." Squidward turns his gaze upwards to the ornate ceilings. "Well, Beatrice, have you felt enough misery yet? Or do I need to start sobbing into the sweater or something."
A poof sparks her arrival again, looking (sarcastically) puzzled. "Sorry! I left Bikini bottom and couldn't really sense you until now...you're not happy?"
"No. You need to bring Spongebob back."
"I can't, you only get one wish, sorry!"
"What?! Shouldn't you state that BEFORE granting it? I'm rich enough to afford a good lawyer."
"Oh yeah that'll get you far, all I have in my pockets is pixie dust, buddy. I thought this was all you ever wanted?"
"It is! It...was. I guess It doesn't feel the same when I didn't really...earn it. And it's." Squidward takes a deep breath. "Not worth as much as Spongebob, There I said it!"
"Oh okay, then I can do something!" The fairy grins knowingly.
"You can?"
"I can't technically bring Spongebob back into this reality, but I can undo it back to normal and return him there."
"That's just a convoluted way of saying you CAN bring him back." Squidward tries to fold his arms but the snail makes it awkward.
"But are you sure this is what you want? You'll go back to the miserable life you had before."
"Well," Squidward glances to the side. "Maybe, just maybe, it isn't ALWAYS miserable."
The fairy cracks her knuckles. "Let's do this, then." She gives her little wand a twirl. "Back to reality!"
"Ugh...when did I go to sleep again?" Squidward wakes up with befuddlement. "Wait a second, I'm in my own bed, in my old house?" He glances around his room and gone are the ridiculous large and fancy decor. "So does that mean..." He leaps out of bed, and rushes downstairs. Before deciding to pace himself. "Don't want to look too excited, after all."
He stretches his arms as he opens the door, squinting at the early morning sun. Just what time was it...? He considers heading back to bed for a while (not that he'd be able to get much sleep.) When he hears a familiar door creak.
"Hiya Squidward! You're up and at 'em early today!"
Squidward does something he rarely ever does, he turns and smiles brightly at Spongebob and waves good morning. "I didn't wanna miss the beautiful view." He forgets to gesture to the rising sun.
There's a moment of silence while they look at each other, and in that moment Squidward notices Spongebobs blood shot eyes and tired smile that makes him realise that he must remember everything that happened, or lack of in that void.
The thought tugs sharply at Squidward's hearts, and before he knows it he's starting to cry while moving closer to his neighbour.
"What's wrong, Squidward?" Despite it all, Spongebob looks so earnestly concerned.
"Just--shut up and come here." Squidward retorts softly, coming to a stop in front of him and holding his arms open.
"Are you offering me...a hug?" Spongebobs' eyes widen.
"I'm not offering you one!..I'm asking for one." Squidward mutters, staring firmly at the ground.
"Oh Squidward!" Spongebob doesn't hesitate after that to throw his arms around Squidward's neck, nearly knocking him over. "You really did miss me!"
"Yeah..." Squidward tries to think of a snappy retort, but fails. He draws his tentacles around Spongebob instead. "...I did. I'm so--sor--" He pulls him a bit closer, picking him off his feet.
"I know, you told me, remember?" Spongebob nuzzles into his shoulder. "Wow, you're itchier than I thought you'd be." Spongebob pulls back a little. "Hang on a minute! You...kept that? For all these years?"
"Huh?" Squidward glances down at himself and realises he's somehow still wearing the sweater. "I er--- I mean...it seemed rude not to keep it in the end."
"Oh you poor thing, you were right it must be so uncomfortable! I'll make you a new one, with uh, different material this time hehe."
"...How about, instead, I make you one?" Squidward sniffs. "You deserve one, after all...that."
"I'll be fiiiine, it's not even in the top five of most traumatic experiences I've ever had! Honest."
"Spongebob."
"Okay, maybe it edges out at number five, but that's only because of my debilitating fear of abandonment." Spongebob laughs his signature laugh but it goes an octave higher than usual at the end.
Squidward puts him down with a 'squeak.' and braces his arms on the Sponges' shoulders instead.
"Look, why don't you take the day off today and, I don't know, watch TV with your friends at home."
Spongebob looks ready to argue, but then deflates. "For once a little R & R sounds really good right now, plus I don't think Gary wants me to leave."
Squidward nods. "Good."
"Are you taking the day off?"
"Why would I be taking the day off? Mr. Krabs will lose it if we both do."
"Because you told me to spend time with my friends, and you're one of my friends, silly."
"I just thought, maybe you'd want some space from me." Squidward could almost laugh at the irony of saying that to Spongebob.
"Are you kidding? I could never get enough of you." Spongebob winks.
Fishpaste. Squidward curses internally, as he feels his face heat up. "Call your friends already, before they make other plans." He turns around to start heading back into his house.
"Where are you going?" Spongebob questions, jogging after him.
Squidward glances back. "I need to have some coffee before I prepare myself for the boiling tirade when I call my boss." He rolls his eyes fondly at Spongebobs' following outburst of excitement and joy.