Chapter Text
The thing with Wilhelm- at least to Simon's observations- is that he doesn't talk much. He’s very... reserved. Trying to make himself smaller at all times. Maybe that's the crushing weight of the country that rests on his shoulders. But there is one time he relaxes- when they’re together in private.
He may not be talkative, but damn that boy loves to cuddle. Simon figures that his love language is touch, solely by how much he’ll initiate physical contact. It's like he needs it, and lives on it. For comfort, or just to show that he’s there.
He’d always been vulnerable with Simon. With hugs, or small kisses here and there, or just those mornings where they could lay in one of their beds for hours and not have to worry about the outside world intruding on their safe space.
But then the video got leaked. They spent days apart and only saw each other four times times before it all went up in flames. Before Simon closed himself in his room for the beginning of winter break, with only one phrase weighing on his mind.
“I'm sorry. I love you,”
Simon overturned that in his head dozens of times. Was that an apology, then a love declaration? Was it an apology for a love declaration? He thought about those whispered words for hours until they didn't even make sense.
And his answer. Oh, god his answer. “I hope you have a nice Christmas,” OF FUCKING CORSE HES NOT GOING TO HAVE A NICE CHRISTMAS, YOU JUST BROKE HIS HEART INTO SHREADS AND THEN STOMPED ON IT.
Whilst Simon mulled everything over in his own depression hole in his bed his phone buzzed. He picked it up and tapped on the cold screen.
One new Message from: Wilhelm
I need you. I'm sorry.
~~
Wilhelm couldn't fucking breathe. It felt like the walls of the palace were closing in on him, or that the fire on the candles would erupt to be three times their size, or that his mom would finally realize what a fucking disappointment he is and disown him, and he wouldn't have a Simon to go back to or-
Simon.
He felt shame curl up inside his chest and rip apart the delicate flower that his heart had become, all thanks to this one sunkissed boy. It was almost like physical pain that caused Wilhelm. God he misses Simon so much. He misses his warm embrace, or his comforting words, or his quick remarks. He misses all of it but can't have any of it.
Not anymore.
Despite Simon basically having broken up with him, he misses him. And it's so stupid that it hurts. And he can't even talk to his mom about it because whoop-de-do she’ll fucking gaslight him. Yeah, Wilhelm may be quiet but he's not a fucking idiot. He's apart of the 21st century and knows his mom is as backward as you can get without inflicting any actual abuse.
Wilhelm rubbed his chest and paced back and forth in the dimly lit bedroom. God, it feels like his heart is on fire. He eventually walked over to the window, opening it and plunging his face into the dark of night. He sat down on his windowsill and rubbed his chest as he drank in the fresh air. Looking down at the phone beside him and turned it over in his hands before flipping it open again.
To: Simon
I'm sorry, I miss you
please call me
i love you
I need you. I'm sorry.
Delivered
Immediately Wilhelm panicked immediately after hitting send. Fuck it's too soon. He doesn't want to hear from you. He doesn't even want to know you exist anymore. He hates you now. He’d never take you back, or call you. You’re such a fucking mess. This shit happens to you still? Get over it. You’re the crown prince now you shouldn't have these silly little spasms. These are ok for normal people. Not you.
And suddenly- his phone was buzzing rapidly.
Incoming call from: Simon
Wilhelm stared at the phone for a good minute before hitting accept rapidly. He held the phone up to his ear and listened for a second before he heard Simon.
“Wille? What's wrong? Are you hurt?”
~~
Simon didn't expect Wilhelm to text him, nonetheless to say that he needs him. Honestly, it was so much of a shock he had forgotten everything that had happened in the past few days. He just thought: is he ok?
It took Wilhelm to respond, but at least to Simon, it was like a breath of fresh air. “I- I'm sorry. I don't- I feel-”
Soon Simon realized that Wilhelm was caught up in another episode. Or at least that's what Simon had been referring to in his head. When Wilhelm shuts everything and everyone out and does that thing where he runs away.
This would normally be the time when Simon comforts him by wrapping his hands around the boy and just holding him. But he couldn't do that now. All he can do is talk and hope he’s doing the right thing. Even if he doesn't know what their relationship is or means anymore.
“It's ok Willie. Take a breath. You’re going to be alright ok? Talk to me through your evening.”
He suggested it with the predetermined notion that he could get Willie to calm down, and maybe figure out where this panic is coming from. Anything he could do to help honestly.
This seemed to panic Whilhelm even more, because immediately his breathing picked up. “Uhm,” He tried to start before taking a breath. “I- I had dinner with my family. And August was invited. And I just- I can't-”
“Hey, it's ok. Why is August freaking you out? He’s nothing but an annoying cousin.”
“Because he- it's all his fault- and nothing's going to fucking happen to him-” Willie started with anger creeping up in his voice.
“What's his fault?” Simon asked more for himself than Whilhelm. He sat upon his bed more alert and stared at his fish tank expectantly as if it was Wilhelms perfectly carved face.
“He took the video.”
~~
So.. that was a mistake. Now, they had one mildly (lightly used) anxious prince on the phone with his pissed-off (ex-)lover because his second cousin recorded a sex tape of them and then posted it on the internet.
“He what?” Simon asked as rustling came from his end of the line.
Wille sat down off of his windowsill and walked around his musty room in a straight line to his door and back to the window in a loop.
“Yeah, he... He took the video. But we-” Well, there isn't exactly a we in this situation anymore. “I, can't do anything about it. Because we have to... “Protect the family,”" He said, mocking his mother.
“Who else have you told about this?”
Wilhelm sighed, “No one. Felice found out... But Mama won't let me do anything about it.”
Willie imagined what Simon's reaction would have been as he spoke on the phone to him, “Willie, have you been able to talk to anyone about... Any of this?”
Willie scoffed at the idea, “No? I shouldn't have to.” He said as if it was obvious. The Crowned prince shouldn't have to talk to people about silly scandals. All he heard on the other end was a small sigh. What he had said that night at St. Lucia was true. Simon is the only person Whilhelm feels like he can talk to.
“Listen... We may not be a thing anymore- but you can still come to me. With anything.”
Willie groaned in frustration grabbing at his hair and tugging a bit, “No- I can't. I just can't. If I’m around you, I’m not gonna wanna be with you. Ever. I just can't. You're intoxicating or something.”
Simon sighed as bedsprings popped on the line. “I stand firm in my position. I know this is your thing, but I can't be your secret. I just can't.”
“And I don't want you to be,” Willie said honestly. Simon deserves so much more than he could know. He deserves someone who would scream his name from the rooftops just because of how in love they are with him. “I want to give you the world Simon and then tell everyone about it.”
“But then you have to carry it first.” Simon countered as footsteps paced on his line of the phone.
“I wouldn't mind for you,” Willie said faintly. There was a small knock at the door and Willie sighed in the silence for a moment, knowing it was his mother taking him to yet another interview- is it already morning? “I need to go. Goodbye, Simon.”
“Bye Willie.”
~~
Simon sighed to himself as the conversation ended. He sat his phone down on his desk and sighed, chewing on his nail. That was probably the oddest conversation he ever had with Willie- if not the weirdest conversation he’s had with anyone period.
Sometime during the night, his dazed thoughts must've lulled him away to sleep. Or at least into a trance so deep he didn't realize his phone had buzzed rapidly under him.
One unread message from: Wilhelm
I’m done hiding. You’re real.
One unread message from: Rosh
DUDE?? HOLY SHIFT??CHECK THE NEWS
Breaking news: Prince Wilhelm confirms it WAS him in the scandalous video released on 12/03 in Christmas day interview!
~~
The day after winter break at school was a blessing in disguise for Wilhelm. He was finally able to get away from his mothers scrutinizing gaze of disappointment, and away from the harrowing corridors that held nothing more than restraints and ghosts.
It was also the day he would finally be able to see Simon again... After the post. They had exchanged words and calls obviously, but decided to leave the important talk for when they were in person.
With once again an unreturned I love you hanging in the air between the boys.
They had been able to catch each other on the football field of all places. Where everything had started... For real. The plastic grass separating them as Simon sat on the ground next to Wilhelm as the sun touched the horizon to create a prism of colors.
Wilhelm started the conversation first. “I feel the same way I did that night. When we were here before. Everything and everyone in the world is fake. No one is ever truly themselves... Except for you. You made me feel real. You’re real.”
Simon just sighed and leaned over, resting his head on Wilhelm's shoulder. “And I thought I was the talkative one.” He said with a small grin. Wilhelm rolled his eyes and put his hand down on Simon's knee, lacing it with the other boy's hand.
“Shut up, dumbass.” He said non-sincerely resting his head on Simons.
“I love you too by the way,” Simon said, lifting his head up and looking Simon in the eye. He gingerly brought his hand up to Wilhelms rough cheek before pulling him in for a savored kiss. Their first kiss without having to worry about who's going to see, or what people may think. For one moment and one moment only they just were. And that’s ok.