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Childe had always loved the ocean. Coming from a little fishing village on the coast, the Snezhnayan ocean had always felt like home, but that wasn't the ocean he was talking about.
It was so warm here compared to his homeland, the coasts lined with fine golden sand that crumbled under his feet and shells of every color under the sun scattered about. One in particular caught his eye and Childe knelt down slowly to take it in his hand.
"It's called a Starconch!"
He nearly spun around in panic as the voice seemed to echo around him. He hadn't heard that voice in long enough that it almost sounded real, and yet, there was no way that could have been the case.
With a soft sigh, he turned his gaze back out towards the sea. Starconch...
~~~
Liyue was a country of colors. The moment he had first stepped off of the boat and into Liyue Harbor, he had been awed by the way that city seemed to shine. The warm light of a thousand lanterns hanging from every building he could see pushed back the darkness of night, bathing the place and the people in a golden glow.
And in that golden glow, he saw you.
"Welcome to Liyue Sir Tartaglia!" Your smile was warm like the city around you and yet, Childe sensed that it wasn't entirely genuine. "I am [name], a representative on behalf of the Liyue Qixing. It is an honor to have you in our harbor." Ah, that was why. Well, you were smart not to trust the Fatui who had just docked in the city you were meant to protect.
Well, two could play at that game. It took him but a moment to pull his usual grin to his face as he extended a hand. "Quite the warm welcome! Trust me, the honor is all mine."
He didn't miss the way the side of your mouth quirked slightly upwards at that as you regarded him with a somewhat bemused expression before returning the gesture.
"And please, call me Childe."
~~~
"Fancy seeing you here." Childe had been heading out on a request to monitor a Fatui base near the coast and had thought to grab some food for the road before he left when he saw your figure weaving between the various stands set up around Liuili Pavilion.
He wasn't sure how to feel about the way his heart seemed to jump at the sight of you though. It wasn't as though he didn't see you often. His position as a foreign diplomat and your role as a representative of the Qixing made it so that communication between you two was an all-too normal occurrence. Almost every day as luck would have it and yet, he wasn't sure if he would ever get bored of the prospect of running into you.
You turned to face him and Childe couldn't manage to hold back the laugh that erupted out of him. Your cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk, likely filled with a huge bite of the pastry you were currently cradling protectively in your hands as though you thought he was going to steal it from you.
Your cheeks went red as you threw a hand up in front of your face as you finished your bite before turning a glare back on him. "What..."
"Hungry?" He teased, stepping around you to scan the stand's wares as he pulled his wallet out.
"Shut it..." You muttered, promptly folding the wrapping of your pastry up over the top and slipping it into your pocket. "I thought you were Ganyu... She's always yelling at me not to eat so many sweets but they're just so good..."
Childe chuckled at that, earning him another sideways glare from your direction. "Ah, so is that your weakness then?" He plucked a handful of fruits from the stall as well as a pair of lemon tarts sitting in a small container to the side, offering the money for them to the stand owner as he stowed them in his knapsack.
"What do you need to know about my weaknesses Fatui?" Ah yes, there is was. The thing that had drawn Childe to you in the first place. The city of Liyue was warm and so were the people, but there were times when for you, that warmth rose into a heated blaze. You weren't afraid to challenge him, to dart across the line drawn by diplomacy and come just close enough that he was tempted to chase after you when you retreated.
There was a slight smirk on your face as you waited for his answer. He sighed, shrugging with a soft smile. "I mean, it can't hurt right?"
"You're insufferable." He might have been offended if you actually meant that. Thankfully, that smirk was still there so he had nothing to worry about.
"Say, I'm going out to the coast right now for some inspections. You think you can spare a moment to come with me?" The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it.
"Why me?" You questioned immediately, suspicion evident.
"U-Um... Well it'll be a little suspicious if a Fatui Harbinger just takes off out of nowhere right?" An awful excuse truly. There had been multiple instances already in his short time in Liyue that Childe had just taken off to get done whatever it was that he needed to get done. In fact, it was something of a known fact within the Bank that he enjoyed heading out for smaller tasks every once in a while just to get some combat practice and stretch his muscles. That being said, there was no way you knew that so...
"So you want someone to account for you, is that it?" you remarked, crossing your arms over your chest as you studied him.
"Well..."
"Okay sure."
He shouldn't have let his gaze fly up to meet yours as quickly as he did. He shouldn't have let the jolt of happiness he felt show in his eyes, or allowed his smile to become the slightest bit more real. But he did, and he was sure that you noticed.
"A-Alright then, let's go!"
~~~
"Well, that went well." You clapped your hands together, brushing off any dirt that had accumulated as you made your way down the shore, taking a seat on a small outcropping or rock placed conveniently in the shade of a large tree.
Childe trailed after, taking big, dramatic steps as he tried to keep the ever shifting sand out of his shoes. "Sure did..." He heard your laughter and despite the fake pout he wore, the sound was nothing less than heartwarming.
"Take your shoes off!" you encouraged, kicking your feet up to show that you had already done a much. After a moment of hesitation, he complied, slipping his boats off and tossing them to the side as he took a seat beside you, staring out at the ocean.
Childe would have loved to say that the silence was comfortable. However, the truth of the matter was that he felt strange. The crash of waves onto the shore was nearly drowned out by the pounding of his own heart as though the thing were beating inside of his head instead of his chest. Well, they had been moving for a while, maybe he was just tired. Or dehydrated. His palms were sweaty though, that was new... Likely just the fact that he was wearing his coat. He wasn't built for the warm Liyue climate after all!
"Childe?" Oh no, your hand was on his shoulder. His already deafening heartbeat felt as though it was speeding up further, the heat in his body seeming to concentrate at the point where your hand made contact with him.
Wait. None of this was normal. All of these feelings seemed to be related to you in some way or another. How strange. Was he ... nervous?
"You called?" He didn't recall thinking those words, but they were already out of his mouth, complete in true "Childe" fashion with a teasing tone and smile. Wow, he was even better at faking it than he thought.
"You were completely spaced out... Don't tell me a little inspection is all it takes to tire out a Fatui Harbinger!" It sounded like just another dig at him but Childe was sure that he heard just the slightest bit of concern hidden in your joking words. The realization did not help his current confusion in the slightest.
"Nothing wears me out! You on the other hand, look like you could use a snack. Now, if only someone brought one..." He tossed back before digging into his bag and pulling out the little carton holding the pair of lemon tarts he had purchased earlier that day. He didn't miss the way your eyes lit up before you pointedly glanced away.
"You think you can bribe me into being nicer to you?" you scoffed.
"Whenever did I say anything like that?" Childe popped open the top, holding the tray out to you. After a moment, you hesitantly reached out, plucking one of the little tarts out.
"Thanks..."
Childe smiled as he took the other half of the pair, immediately taking a huge bite out of the side, savoring the way the tartness of the lemon contrasted with the buttery, flaky crust. "Anytime!"
"I have something for you too..." Popping the last of the treat into his mouth, Childe turned to face you only to see that you were holding something out to him. Taking it immediately, he held it up to his face, turning it about in his hands in confusion.
"Is this, a shell?"
When he looked back at you for confirmation, he was somewhat surprised to see a slight blush beginning to spread over the tops of your cheeks.
"It's called a Starconch! They're native to Liyue so I didn't think you'd seen one before." you offered as clarification as Childe continued to inspect the little thing.
"It's pretty. But why for me?"
There was a pause. "It may have reminded me of you..."
There it was again. The panicked rhythm of his heart and the warmth and the confusion. "Oh? This shell did?"
"It... It looked like your eyes. It's kind of pretty..."
Childe's gravestone was going to look so stupid. Here lies Tartaglia, 11th Harbinger in service of the Tsaritsa. Defeated by a seashell and a compliment about his eyes.
"What are you looking at me like that for Fatui?" He was drawn back to his present, sadly still alive self and your blushing face as you awaited his reaction. He attempted to pull a self-satisfied smirk to his face, combing his mind for a response that was just the perfect balance of confident and joking and accepting, and came up empty.
He tried, he tried as hard as he could but he couldn't think of anything. Anything except you that was. Slowly, he set the Starconch down beside him as he turned fully to face you.
"[name]?"
"Yes?" To your credit, you showed no sign of wanting to retreat. He could see the flash of panic in your eyes as he suddenly came closer and yet, you made no move to pull away.
"Do you really think of me as just disgusting Fatui?"
"Huh?" Apparently, that had not been what you were expecting. You blinked twice, evidently confused.
"Is that what you think of me?" he reiterated, not daring to break eye contact in case it gave you a chance to pull away.
"I mean, you are definitely Fatui but I don't think of you as disgusting or anything..." You offered, eyes wide as though you weren't sure what answer he wanted from you.
"And just to be clear, an honorable representative of the Liyue Qixing wouldn't want to be seen with the Fatui right?" There was a slight waver in his tone that he couldn't seem to get rid of it. He hated it. Rather than the usual confidence that oozed from his every word, he sounded unsure. Hesitant even.
It was you who broke eye contact then, glancing down at your hands as you kneaded them nervously in your lap. "Well, they probably shouldn't..." His heart dropped. "But..."
Childe's eyes flew open as you pressed your lips against his, your own eyes squeezed so tightly shut he was sure it hurt. It took a second of coaxing but he found himself slowly leaning into you, hands coming up to wrap around your waist as yours coiled over his shoulders before traveling up into his hair. He felt you smiling into the kiss and the thought spurred him on as he pulled you in until you were all but sitting on his lap.
It wasn't particularly fiery or passionate or anything he believed your first kiss would be like, but there was something else there. It felt like release. When you began to pull away, Childe let out a soft whine, lips following yours as you drifted tantalizingly out of range.
"Relax harbinger." you drawled, glancing up at him with half-lidded eyes, your expression tempting enough that he almost threw himself at you right then and there. "We have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere."
~~~
"I think this is turning into an actual problem."
Childe pouted in response to your remark as he continued to organize all of the starconches you had collected into neat little rows on the sand before you. There had to be at least 50 of them, all in different shapes and sizes of every shade blue one could imagine.
This had become your new ritual. Every free evening the two of you had, you would come back to this spot, the location of the first starconch exchange. What had started as a cute little bonding activity though, as with anything with Childe, had quickly become a competition. Now, it was a contest as the two of you continuously tried to one-up each other in finding the most beautiful starconch.
"It's fine! They're pretty right?" He turned towards you, stupid shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "They remind you of my eyes remember?"
You rolled your eyes as you straightened out the harbinger's less-than even rows. "Ah, how I regret saying that..."
"Rude!"
When all of the little shells had been perfectly arranged, the two of you stood back to consider them.
"I call the top right."
"Hey, I wanted that one!"
"Too bad, I was quicker."
Childe pouted again but didn't protest as he bent down to pick up the shell you had chosen and then one that he liked as well. When he reached out to offer it to you however, you reached for his other hand, grabbing the shell he had picked.
"Huh?"
You smiled. "You like this one and you like me, so I get this one. "
"I am ... confused," Childe confessed, though the smile adorning his lips contrasted his words. He reached for your free hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, tugging you away from your little shaded safe-haven and towards the water.
"Hey!" you protested though you let him pull you there, laughing the entire time. "What are you doing, we don't have a change of clothes!"
"Doesn't matter! It's a waste to come to the beach and never touch the water, don't you think?" Childe grinned as he pulled the two of you into the waves just in time for one to crash down, instantly soaking the two of you from waist down.
You gaped in faux shock as you swatted at the man's arm. "Childe!"
He laughed, a free, unrestrained sound unlike the one he was so used to performing in front of others when trying to remain the ever charming and relaxed Fatui diplomat the people of Liyue had to see him as.
Childe. He had told you to call him that. That was what everyone called him after all, and yet, it didn't sound right anymore. Not coming from you.
"Childe?" It was a question this time, as though you had been able to sense that something was amiss with your lover.
"Ajax," he replied.
"What?"
"Ajax, that's my name. My real one anyway."
Your eyes widened as you stared at him in shock, the hand you had resting against his arm slipping slowly down back to your side. "Is... Is it okay for you to tell me that?"
Childe scoffed, running a hand through his hair. Damn, this was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. It was just a name! "It's my name, and I want you to call me it. There shouldn't be a problem with that right?"
You stared at him for a moment longer before leaning in, placing soft lips against his for just a moment. "Alright then, Ajax. Don't regret it."
And then you dunked him, pushing him down the moment the enxt wave crested over you two. When he pulled himself back to the surface, sputtering in shock, there was a dangerous grin on his face.
"Oh, it's on now!"
~~~
"What's happening with that traveller you've been talking to recently?" There was nothing accusatory about your tone and yet, Childe couldn't help but hear is as an accusation.
"Nothing much," he shrugged. "They're looking for someone and the information they've dug up has been pretty useful so far."
"Useful huh..." Well now you were definitely suspicious. Childe felt bad about it, he really did, but there was no way he could involve you in any of this. His loyalty was to the Tsaritsa and he was required to carry out her orders. With your loyalty in line with the Qixing, he had no doubt that you would be at odds with the Fatui's plans in the coming weeks, but there was nothing he could do about that. What you didn't know couldn't hurt you.
If worst came to worst and he was forced to attack Liyue however, he had already made preparations. A quick look at your schedule for the coming weeks had confirmed that you were going to be taking a quick trip to Fontaine for some business you had chosen not to disclose with him. Not that he particularly cared what it was that you were doing, just that you would be gone when everything went south. As long as you weren't hurt, everything would be fine.
"They're a nice kid honestly! I introduced them to Zhongli yesterday and they seem to be getting along quite well!" Childe offered. You quirked an eyebrow at him, recognizing an olive branch when you heard it.
"I mean, Zhongli is a hard man to hate." You took the branch.
"Which reminds me, we're still on for dinner tonight right?" Childe could pat himself on the back for how smooth that conversation shift was. You seemed less impressed though as you rolled your eyes at him.
"I guess if I have to..."
"Hey!" You were laughing again and Childe felt his heart soften. He hated this game of keeping secrets from you, but if it kept you safe, kept you happy and content and laughing, he might be able to play the game for just a bit longer.
~~~
It felt like you were going to crush his ribcage, but Childe wouldn't have it any other way. He was sure that his grip on you was just as strangling as he buried his face in your neck.
Slowly, you pulled yourself away from him, eyes sad even as you mustered a smile to your face. "I'll be back in 3 weeks max okay! That's not that long!"
"Yes it is." Childe didn't mince his words and didn't miss your flinch at his statement. He wanted to badly to grab onto you and not let you take a step closer to that boat. To drag you back to his apartment with him and sit you down there until this was all over. But he couldn't.
You would be safer in Fontaine. You wouldn't be part of anything that happened. And best of all, if this all went fine, you wouldn't ever have to know what he did. He didn't want to lie to you, but he couldn't see a way around it this time.
Instead of voicing as much, he pulled you back in for a final kiss, not caring that there were definitely people watching and gaping at the show he was putting on. You hummed softly but didn't do much to fight him, letting him press himself into you as you gently brushed some stray strands of his way hair out of his face.
He only let go when the ship's captain sounded the horn in impatience, though his half-smile made it clear that he wasn't particularly mad at the young couple's display. You squeezed his hand once more.
"I'll see you soon okay Ajax."
"Be safe [name]." You nodded smiling at him once more before slowly detangling your fingers from his and making your way up the ramp onto the ship.
Childe waved until the ship had completely left the harbor, even when it was clear that there was no way you could still see him. When the shape of the ship had finally faded behind the sea fog, he grudgingly turned to make his way back to the Bank, only to be faced with a nervous looking Fatui recruit who nearly jumped when they made eye contact.
"M-Master Childe! There's some new information you should probably know about."
Childe raised his eyebrows in a silent question and when the recruit nodded, he took a slow breath it. So it was starting.
~~~
"Master Childe!" Ekaterina greeted him the moment he stepped through the doors of Northland Bank. He mustered the strength to give her a quick wave, even as his entire body ached at the slightest movement. The Foul Legacy transformation really was something but he wasn't sure he would ever truly get used to the backlash.
"How are you feeling?"
"Well enough," he lied. After that stunt that Signora and Zhongli had just pulled on him, he wasn't in the best mood at the moment. "What is the situation like?"
Ekaterina paused and Childe narrowed his eyes at the way some strange expression had crept suddenly onto her face. "What happened?"
"Well, you're quite the wanted man... It seems word has gotten out about your involvement in all this, though I'm not quite sure how..." The traveller huh? Well, that much was expected considering how things had gone. If only they hadn't gotten in his way. Of course, he had relished in the battle they had been able to share, but it would most definitely have been cleaner if they hadn't been around.
"That much is expected," he said with a soft laugh. Ekaterina offered him a thin smile, and that was when he knew that something was wrong. "There's something more isn't there?"
"Um... There was something..."
"Well, spit it out then."
"There were a few casualties in the event..."
"Really?" Childe was genuinely shocked by that. "Outside of the Millelith? I thought the adepti would have been able to protect everyone within the city."
"Yes well, most of the people in the city were fine... It's just, there were some just outside of the border..." Ekaterina fumbled with her words, eyes downcast in a way that was starting to worry Childe.
"Like?"
"Well, there was a ship that turned around because of a storm up ahead and ran straight into Osial's torrents," she finally spit it out, eyes flashing with panic when she finally looked back up at him.
"A ship? A ship..." Childe's blood ran cold. "A ship going where?"
"... Fontaine sir."
The next few moments may have been filled with silence to an outsider watching, but Childe's head was filled with a roaring. He heard voices and people and the sound of his blood rushing through his body and the air filling his lungs as he heaved in breath after breath. It was all just noise, there was so much noise.
Childe grabbed onto the counter as his feet collapsed from under him, breath coming in thick inhales as he struggled to gain purchase. No. This, this wasn't happening. There was no way.
"Where is the ship?" he managed to get out between breaths, eyes flashing up to Ekaterina. He wasn't sure if she squeaked in fright or it was just his delirious mind playing tricks on him, but she answered him anyway, hurt registering even in her voice.
"It washed up on shore this morning... There was no sign of anyone who had been on-board..."
This wasn't real. Childe's vision was starting to go dark, black edges creeping slowly inwards as he struggled to sit back up.
"That... That can't be possible. They're here. They probably made it back. They're waiting for me. I have to get to them." He attempted to push himself to his feet but all the strength in his body was gone. The black in his vision was growing and without warning, he found himself slumped against the cold tile of the Northland Bank floor.
"Master Childe!" Ekaterina's worried voice registered somewhere in his brain but the darkness was slowly encroaching.
His fingers attempted to clutch at something, only to find the chilly smoothness of tile beneath him. This was a dream, some fever nightmare brought on my the transformation. It was fine, he would open his eyes and everything would be fine. He could already see you, the little smirk on your face as you teased him for getting so worked up over nothing. Oh, you'd have a good laugh about this one.
And it was with the image of you in his mind that Childe passed out.
~~~
Childe barely remembered the weeks that had followed. He distinctly remembered not going to the funeral, partially because he would be arrested on the spot, but mostly because that would mean accepting it all, and he was not ready for that.
He still wasn't sure he accepted it.
And so, here he was. This wasn't your spot, the little cove with the rock and perfectly placed tree where you were constantly unearthing the most perfect starconches, but it was the Liyue shore, and that was all it took. Childe studied the shell in his hand for a moment, brushing the remaining flecks of sand off slowly as he did.
This was the prettiest one he had seen in a while. There weren't any visible cracks and the color was the richest blue, exactly like the one you had given him so long ago.
Childe considered the conch for a moment longer before sliding it into his pocket and turning away from waves.
"Why? Why won't you move on?"
Childe sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat as he trudged up the shore. The little shell rubbed against his fingers and even though he knew there was no one there, he spoke out loud.
"It reminds me of you. Everything does."