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So the thing about villains is that they’re not usually born that way. Sure, every so often Steve would meet a really bad guy, but for the most part, villains are made, not born. After all, look at Bucky. But then, did Buck count as a villain, or a puppet? Closer to a puppet, Steve supposed. Though the difference didn’t make his blood boil any less at the way things had gone down. He wasn’t mad at Bucky- he’d never be mad at him. It wasn’t his fault. It was HYDRA’s. Though somewhere deep down Steve still held the thought that he was the one at fault. He’d been in charge of that mission. He shouldn’t have let it end how it did. Of course, it’s not like he’d had the time to go back after and collect Bucky’s body… he’d kinda been a collection case himself…
Anyway, point was, Steve didn’t believe that most people were just born evil. Which is why when Thor showed up to the tower one day with a nervous and extremely skittish Loki, Steve was willing to listen. He was on edge, but he was willing.
It had taken people some time to calm down (Steve included), but surprisingly it was Tony and Bucky who had gotten the others to lower their weapons (or in Steve’s case, to drop the ‘Captain America is ready to pounce on you like Mufassa the Lion King’ stance).
Everyone had been sitting in the common room. Even the Scientists had come out to play. Darcy was particularly proud of that and she’d take full credit for it (she’d almost had to tie them up and push them onto a flat bed cart to get them up there, but here they were and that’s what mattered).
“Sir,” Jarvis interrupted.
“Hmmm?” Tony asked, tongue stuck out in concentration as he shot a turtle shell at Sam’s Luigi go-cart in an attempt to take the lead.
“HA! Missed me!” Sam crowed as he sped across the finish line on the Nintendo to first place.
Tony sighed, “I’m an engineer, not a marksman…” Handing his controller off to Darcy who’d called winner, Tony leaned back on the sofa. “What is it Jarvis?”
“Prince Thor is approaching the building’s airspace.”
Jane perked up, excited to see her boyfriend after his visit home. “Jarvis, how long?”
“ETA less than one minute.” There was a slight pause before the AI continued. “And he is not alone.”
Darcy stopped choosing a course on the video game and looked up at Tony, red licorice hanging from her lips. Out of everyone in the tower the two of them knew the AI’s tones the best. This was not his ‘YAY! Company!’ tone, but it also wasn’t his ‘Batten down the hatches!’ tone. It was more of a ‘Don’t want to tell you but sort of need to tell you but don’t know how to tell you, gaaawd please don’t freak out, but-’ tone.
“…Who’s with him, J?” Darcy asked not sure she wanted to know but sure she probably needed to.
Before Jarvis could respond there was a loud thump from the large outdoor patio. Everyone turned to see Thor and-
“Prince Loki,” came Jarvis’s late reply.
It would be a lie to say that the team was happy to see them. And it would be an understatement to say that the team was less than thrilled about the whole situation. But it would be an exaggeration to say that they all immediately tried to kill Loki (it wouldn’t be a large exaggeration). And yet, there they were- guns, bows, repulsors, slightly green fists, metal silver fists, glowing red fire fists (yeah, Pepper was still working on that), and bowl of popcorn (what? It was all Darcy could find- the guy was supposed to be dead! Not llama dead like in the Emperor’s New Groove, but dead dead. Darcy knew there had to be zombies in space! Shit, now was not the time for a victory dance- there was a zombie Asgardian Prince on her patio! Focus Darcy! Focus!) drawn, aimed, and at the ready in the living room.
Thor had immediately stepped in front of his brother before opening the sliding glass door. “My friends…” Thor spoke, treading as carefully as a man who’d been caught on thin ice. “If you have ever valued our time together, then please, allow me to speak.”
And speak he had.
Steve, willing to hear Thor and always willing to gain more information before a fight, had held up a hand to keep the others at bay. No one lowered their weapons (or fists, or snack foods), but no one fired either. Over the course of a very tense 30 minutes Thor explained that Loki hadn’t been in control of himself during the battle of New York. He described Loki’s fall, capture, torture, desperate bid for survival, and loss of mind control.
With each new sentence Loki looked paler and paler- which gave Tony pause. Looking at him, Tony and Bucky both knew what he was going through. Surviving torture was one thing. Having to hear about it after was in some ways worse. When you’re in the thick of it, your mind shuts a lot of reality out as a way to cope. You know it’s happening, but your mental state is fighting to keep from fracturing. So long as you don’t have to hear about it, it’s half like it didn’t happen, half like it did, but not so bad because there was no verbal confirmation and your mind just skirts around the edges of the event until it can examine it later- if it can examine it later. Neither of the men had fully told anyone what had happened to each of them during their captivity. They hadn’t been able to bear the thought of hearing it from someone else’s mouth. Hearing it would have made it more real. They might not be willing to open their arms to Loki just yet, but they could empathize. They’d been there. And they were both willing to bet the other two spysassins had as well.
Thor also recounted the events leading up to his brother’s ‘death’ and shocking survival. Jane had previously told them that in the end, Loki had saved both herself and Thor before London’s Battle of the Thames. She looked just as startled as everyone else at his presence, but significantly less violent toward him. Erik, willing to take Jane’s side but also more than a little anxious at even hearing Loki’s name, gratefully held her hand when she reached for it. He didn’t know if it was to reassure him or herself, but he didn’t care- it was anchoring.
Knowing that the situation was far from diffused, Sam asked what he knew everyone was thinking. “…If he was being controlled, then why didn’t he say something about it to clear his name?”
“And why weren’t his eyes blue?” Asked Natasha.
Loki crossed his arms with a displeased pout at the ground while Thor answered. “To all others that would have been the apparent path to take. However, my brother is quite…” Loki huffed. “Prideful.” Loki completely deflated. “Loki would rather sit in a cell than admit to being controlled in such a way. The blue eyes were a sign of control through the staff- a power my brother does not possess on his own. The one controlling Loki ensured he’d be able to control others by giving it to him.” Thor went on to describe how he’d found out about it from a well respected seer in one of the realms that he’d run into by accident, Loki looking more and more embarrassed and pitiful by the moment. By the end of Thor’s recounting he looked absolutely miserable.
Tony lowered his hand (though he still wore the gauntlet he’d called) and sent Bucky a meaningful look. The spysassin was looking contemplative and cast Tony a look of his own before straightening out of his fighting stance and crossing his arms in a ‘I won’t attack but I’m still dangerous and we all know it’ stance instead. It was clear Bucky was buying the story as well- not because it was coming from Thor’s lips, but because of the abject misery that was leaking from Loki’s body. He might be the god of lies, but his lies had been found out and now all that remained was the truth of his reactions that seeped from his body.
Knowing he had back up, Tony stuck his hands in his back pockets and leisurely strolled up to Thor and Loki in a way only Tony could- outwardly at ease, but it was obvious the man was running a million scenarios and odds in his head all at once while still managing to have the brain capacity to sing the national anthem if called upon.
Tony stooped enough to look Loki in the eyes. A bit surprised, Loki held Tony’s gaze, unsure what he was doing or looking for. Truth be told Tony didn’t actually hate Loki. Yeah, the guy had thrown him out of a building, but before that he’d gotten a chance to talk to him. And something just hadn’t been right- he’d actually sort of liked Thor’s brother. Even though he’d tried to destroy his city, Tony still liked the guy- which didn’t sit well with him at all. Why would Tony like someone who was threatening his world? It just didn’t make any sense.
Tony considered himself a pretty good judge of character when he actually paid attention (he didn’t like people he shouldn’t. Sure, he liked people who were dangerous, assassins, crazy, lawless, and so on. But they were still decent people.). The whole godfather tried to kill him twice thing was proof that Tony hadn’t been paying attention to much of anything most of his life. But now that he was, he was a force to be reckoned with. And right now his judgment was directed solely on Loki and the past conversation they’d shared before the window and near plummet to his intended death. Something had just felt off. Tony hadn’t been able to put his finger on it and that had bothered him. It had still bothered him even after he’d heard from Thor and Jane that Loki had died saving them during the whole London fiasco. Now things were starting to make sense.
“Hmmm.” Tony hummed, letting everyone know he was about to let everyone in on what he was thinking. “You know, Lokes, you played a pretty good villain, but I’d stick with your day job- there was something that I just didn’t quite buy when you were running around like a vengeful Rudolf.”
Loki looked completely bewildered. He knew what most of the words meant, but they didn’t make sense to him. As much as it pained him, Loki looked to Thor since he’d been on the planet longer than him. No help there (‘No surprise there,’ Loki thought), Thor looked just as confused as he did. Thor gave him a look that said ‘It’s not just you. You get used to it.’
“I mean,” Tony went on, hands still behind his back, but now clasped in contemplation as he stepped away and walked around the room, weaving between the team, “the whole Asgard name dropping- it was like someone wanted us to go to war. Didn’t make much sense since you had already invaded- you don’t really need a justification to war with someone when you’ve already shown up uninvited blowing things up- that pretty much guarantees a fight. And the helmet was pretty flashy- about as flashy as my suit, really. And we all know that cherry red just screams ‘come shoot at me.’ And let’s face it- if you wanted us dead, you would have just snuck in and done it quickly- you’re the god of mischief and lies- I’m willing to bet you’re pretty cunning. There was just too much in your plan that didn’t feel all that masterful.”
Tony gave a hard glance at Steve, knowing that as a tactician Steve would understand what he was trying to say. The whole Battle of New York incident just wasn’t Loki’s style. Granted, Tony didn’t know the guy personally that well, but come on- the god of mischief and lies? There’s no way he’d be so flashy and ‘I’mma make things go boom but first I’m going to tell you about it!’ It just couldn’t be his style. It was the style of someone else- someone who wanted to be flashy and loud about the fact that he’d controlled a god to do his bidding. Someone who used Loki like a sledgehammer because he didn’t realize he was holding a wrecking ball. Someone who didn’t realize that the god probably could have just killed everyone quickly and been done with it. Someone they’d have to ask more about later.
Steve’s gaze remained contemplative. He’d understood Tony’s hints. But he still needed Tony to tie it up for some of the others in the room. “Tony,” Steve said softly, “what are you saying?”
“I’m saying, Cap, that I believe it. Does it excuse his behavior? Well, maybe not in the beginning with the whole New Mexico fiasco, which could be the biggest daddy related issues meltdown in all of time but then his meltdown was one day and decimated a town but mine turned into a decade plus that destroyed who knows how many towns- but I digress-” Tony turned to look at Loki, “we can commiserate together about our issues over that drink.” Turning back to the group, he concluded, “Point being, we let Barton and Barnes off the hook, right?”
After Tony’s speech Bruce was looking less green and more thoughtful. He knew Tony was reckless and pretty crazy at times, but he’d never do something he thought would endanger Pepper. Plus, Tony had mentioned to him his nagging suspicions that something was off about Loki. Bruce had dismissed it as Loki being crazier than a bag of cats. But Tony hadn’t been so sure. Thor would have mentioned if his brother had always been insane. They’d been alive for decades before the whole Rainbow Bridge melt down. Thor would have noticed his brother’s insanity sooner.
Pepper was on edge but it was clear she was trying to regulate more than preparing to attack. She’d been with Tony long enough to have seen that his tactics could work. They could also nearly get him killed and blown up. But the man was still here. And so was she.
Darcy had lowered the bowl and was looking at Tony with consideration. Jane and Thor had each told her about Loki’s behavior after London. He’d saved her best friend’s life. That had to count for something. Right?
Sam wasn’t too sure how he felt, but he did recognize the trauma behind Loki’s eyes. He’d seen it enough times to know it on sight. Sometimes he saw it in the eyes of the pizza delivery guy, sometimes in the eyes of the big wig CEOs that he met in passing at Tony’s parties, other times in the eyes of fellow joggers in the park. Most often he saw it in the faces of his friends in the tower. He also saw it in the mirror. Trauma was everywhere. Once you knew what it looked like you saw it all the time. And he certainly saw it on Loki’s face. Knowing the god would have a major uphill battle ahead of him, Sam resolved to help when the time came if Loki let him. But right now he’d defer to Steve. It was Stark’s tower, but he’d meant it when he’d told Natasha that he’d go where Steve went.
Natasha’s face remained blank, as usual. The woman had a poker face that could make Chuck Norris sweat. But Tony knew she’d felt the same way about Loki after she’d talked to him on the hanger. Something had felt off to her too. Like Bruce, she’d simply chalked it up to insanity, but now she wasn’t so sure. She too knew the look of a tortured individual and Loki fit the bill. Glancing at Clint she lowered her weapons and tilted her head to the side in contemplation at him.
Clint refused to meet her gaze. He also refused to lower his bow. Everyone knew out of all the people in the room, Clint would be the hardest to convince after what Loki had done to him.
Darcy put her hand on Clint’s arm. He didn’t even look at her, just shook his head. She gave his bicep a squeeze. The archer flicked his eyes to hers. The others watched as Clint and Darcy had a silent conversation. Besides Natasha, Clint was closest to Darcy (she laughed at all of his jokes). Finally, Clint sighed and lowered his bow. He’d been angry after he’d come back from being all blue eyed and Igor. Angry at being made a henchman, angry that he’d hurt innocent people, angry that he’d betrayed those he was loyal to most, and angry that after it was all over very few people trusted him again. Looking at Loki he was still angry. But after hearing about the god’s own torture and mind control, he got it. He wasn’t happy (especially about being the puppet of a puppet- jeeze, what did that make him? Like a second rate puppet? He’d seen the bad ventriloquist acts in the circus where dummies had dummies- they hadn’t been pretty), but he got it. It would take some time, but he’d at least refrain from threatening Loki every time he saw him.
Thor had asked Tony if Loki could have a place with him in the Tower since Asgard wasn’t exactly conducive to his brother’s mental health. Loki’s new apartments were right next to Thor’s and were connected by a door. Thor, for all that he’d gone through with Loki before New York, still loved his brother deeply and longed for their relationship to heal. Thor was pretty guarded about how their relationship was going because it was still so fragile, but he was willing to say he hadn’t felt a closeness to his brother like this in years.
Loki himself was pretty skittish. He rarely ventured outside of his or Thor’s rooms. And on the few occasions he did, he’d leave as soon as anyone entered the space. It wasn’t a fear that the others would hurt him- though he wasn’t nearly as large as Thor, Loki could more than take care of himself. But he was still wounded at having everyone know how easily he’d been controlled. He was especially embarrassed about the things he’d said to Natasha.
He may have been a villain and blind with numbing mind control, but he was raised a prince of Asgard and was also a prince of Jotunheim- he’s twice over a prince (which is one more than Thor! Ha!) and that was no way for a prince to behave. He’d always thought himself better than that. Even though he was embarrassed, Loki harbored a large amount of admiration for the spy as well. She’d managed to out play him- that’s no small feet- which was also part of his embarrassment- not only did he admire her and he said those things, but he was also outdone. But Loki was a big enough man to concede to talent when he saw it… now if only he had the courage to tell her so- maybe in another few months once he could look her in the eye…
As the days went on Sam had offered Thor his help whenever he thought Loki would be ready for it. Tony asked that whenever Loki felt up to it he come down to the labs so that the scientists could see his freezing powers in action. Clint didn’t say much but he didn’t shoot either, so that was a win and time passed. Loki remained in his rooms mostly, and the others left him alone knowing that if the happy prince from Thor’s memories was ever going to come back it would be on his own time. His only company tended to be Thor, sometimes Jane when she’d drop in to see Thor, and Jarvis (though if Loki and Jarvis talked, Jarvis wasn’t telling. And Darcy wasn’t asking. She might be a bit nosey, but he knew some things just needed privacy and space).
The only times Loki ever really seemed to come out of his rooms was when the team was out on a mission.
One day Loki wandered into the communal kitchen after the team had been called away. The counter was cluttered with bowls of various sizes, powders, spoons, and something that looked like an atom model on a stick (he later learned it is called a whisk. ‘You know, for whisking’ Darcy had told him). At the center of the chaos (which he found comforting in the otherwise clean and tidy room) was a large bowl of brown goop.
Thor has been telling him all about the wonders of Midgaurdian sweets (the pop-tarts are a particular favorite of his brother’s) but he had yet to try many of them. Whatever was in the bowl, while looking rather unsavory, smelled wonderful. Bending over at the waist to lean over the counter (hands folded in back of himself careful not to touch anything), Loki first sniffed the bowl and then leaned in to read the words in the open cookbook propped up on the counter behind the bowl. Craning his neck to the side to look at the mess of ingredients all over the counter, Loki began identifying things.
Darcy, who had been in the pantry, startled him as she walked out. She didn’t say anything, just smiled at him. Loki watched as she put down the little cups that she’d been holding. Curious enough to stay, he watched as she took the little paper cups and lined them in the tins on the counter before spooning chocolate batter into them. After she was done Loki watched as Darcy stuck the tins in the oven. Loki wanted to talk to her but he didn’t. He hadn’t actually spoken to anyone besides Thor, Jane, and Jarvis since entering the tower. And he was unsure of how to start now.
Darcy wasn’t ignoring him, but she wasn’t talking to him either. Feeling rather dismissed, Loki prepared himself to leave when she held out the spoon she’d been using to him. Loki gave her a confused look. When he didn’t take the spoon from her, Darcy licked it once and then tried to hand it to him again, holding it out in front of him and wiggling it a little bit in encouragement. With a shrug Loki accepted the spoon and did as he was bid, taking a tentative lick of the batter.
2 hours later they’ve made 15 more batches of cupcakes (Darcy has to make at least 5 for Hulk- otherwise he sulks. She wants to get one of those cake tins shaped like a cupcake for him)- all different flavors. Loki was helping Darcy decorate them with frosting, fondant, and sprinkles. He was actually really good. He was in the process of drawing out a map of Asgard (with forests made with tiny cone shaped trees and little fondant animals across a batch that they'd stuck together to make one large surface for him to decorate. There was even a little fondant Loki and Thor. And an eight legged horse… whatever that was about) when Jane walked in, calling dibs on the tiny Thor.
Here's the look Loki gave Darcy when she offered him the spoon with chocolate batter (which he just thought of as brown sludge- he knows better now).
