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“Oh hey, you’re up!”
Carter.
She knew him from an Early Cinema class last year. She took the class because her mom had a major crush on Errol Flynn and thought that it would be fun and easy, but instead of swashbucklers and screwball comedies they watched all this experimental stuff. There was this one called “Metropolis” and she only remembered that because Carter couldn’t shut up about it for whatever reason. He wasn’t her usual type, but man did that boy have a smile that could light up a room.
She had introduced him to Danielle. Not intentionally, she spotted him at a party and was talking to him when Danielle butted in. Tree saw them making out on the porch about half an hour later. Okay so technically Danielle did ask if Tree liked him first and technically Tree did say no, but apparently, she was a jealous liar. Most of the Kappa sorors knew him, particularly the brainier ones like Lori, but Tree avoided the couple as much as she could, apparently to the point that Carter thought she had forgotten his name since he awkwardly introduced himself as she hurriedly pulled on her pants, even though based on what she remembers she basically threw herself at him last night.
It wasn’t until she was telling him where the Tylenol was that she registered the mega case of déjà vu. She could have sworn that she had waken up in his dorm room before. She then spent the rest of the day trying to will it into being that it did not happen. Her mom even asked her if something was wrong during their birthday lunch, and didn’t seem convinced by Tree’s saying, “I’m fine” way too many times. And then – and then! – that night her roommate Lori was murdered and Carter’s roommate was declared missing, and Carter tried to comfort her even though he must have been going out of his mind himself.
Tree could not think of a worse day to relive.
She rushed out of there just like before, avoided the environmental petition girl and the sprinklers just like before, and tried to let down Tim as easily as she could just like before. That interaction went a bit weirdly, even for Tim (it was like he had intentionally sabotaged their date and then he won’t stop trying to talk to her?). He clammed up the moment she said, “sorry,” as if she had suddenly started speaking a foreign language. She shrugged it off, because, why look a gift horse in the mouth, right? She waved at the girl whose name she could never remember on her way into the sorority and was on the stairway, almost home free…
“You sneaky little beyotch!”
“Nothing happened!”
Danielle narrowed her eyes, “Sisters don’t keep secrets.”
“Look, he put me to bed – not a euphemism – and we slept – also not a euphemism! He was just being a good guy.”
“Nick?”
Huh?
“No, Carter.”
“Who?”
“…Your boyfriend?”
“What? Wait, who did I make out with last night?”
Tree left Danielle to deal with her alcohol amnesia crisis and pushed down the hope that Danielle had cheated on Carter. That was an awful, selfish thing to wish for.
“She finally rolls in.”
“How much did I embarrass myself last night?”
“Nothing, unless you count dancing on a table, starting two fights, and hurling pretzel chunks all over the bar embarrassing. Oh, and you made out with Nick right in front of Danielle.”
Nick again. Nick who made every other guy in his frat look like a Rhodes scholar Nick? “Wait, does Danielle like Nick?”
“You haven’t noticed? Talk about embarrassing. Um, aren’t you going to class?”
“I don’t have any classes before noon, you know I was careful to schedule it that way.”
“Yeah, except for advanced bio at 9:15.”
“Why would I take advanced bio, I’m a business major.”
“That’s what I said when I first saw your schedule.”
Tree and Lori both stared at each other in confusion until Lori decided to break the stalemate. She got out the cupcake and the lit the candle. Which was weird. Lori and Tree had established early on that they wouldn’t do anything for birthdays or Christmas besides acknowledging them. Besides, there was no way that Tree could eat that cupcake. Tree was not one of those girls who went on crazy diets, but there was going to be an enormous cake at her birthday lunch and her metabolism could only do so much. So, she promised Lori that she would eat it later and then, after Lori left for her double shift at the hospital, she threw it away in the trash outside so Lori wouldn’t see it in the trash in their room.
Tree didn’t eat anything at the house meeting either, again anticipating her birthday lunch, which Tree reminded Danielle of when she tried to use Tree as a positive example in comparison to Becky’s lunch. Then Becky’s lunch ended up all over Tree.
“I am so sorry,” Carter apologized.
“Wait you two know each other?”
“I introduced you!”
“Bleh, I don’t need to be introduced to your new nerd fetish.”
Before Tree could even begin to unpack that Carter held out his hand, showing Tree the bracelet, she had forgot in his room, “I was just bringing this back.” He then cut a hasty exit.
“What a d-bag.”
“Did you two have a fight or something?”
“Wait you seriously think I know him? Are you high?”
Maybe Tree had anticipated her birthday lunch too much and hunger was making her delirious. She might as well leave now as she didn’t really care which charity the sorority supported.
“Hi, Dad, where’s Mom?”
This was a nightmare. This whole day was just a bad dream and she needed to wake up. Tree had pretty much made her entire body black and blue with pinches when she decided that the nightmare started when she got drunk, maybe it would end by getting drunk.
She was on her way to the Sigma party when she saw a music box sitting in a tunnel playing “Happy Birthday.” The sight was so bizarre that she didn’t notice anyone coming up behind her until someone pulled back on her hair and plunged a knife into her face.
“Oh hey, you’re up.”
“Carter, I just had the worst dream.”
“Hey, it’s okay, I have bad dreams all the time when I drink.”
Tree pulled him down to sit next to her on the bed and laid her head on his shoulder, relishing the arm he put around her. They stayed like that until Carter’s roommate walked in, apparently under the assumption that they had hooked up last night. For a moment, Tree thought about how in the completely-not-real-just-a-nightmare version of the day she had left before he could say anything, before she remembered the real issue at hand.
“Did you and Danielle break up?”
“Who?”
“Your girlfriend.”
“I’m single. And nothing happened last night I swear. I just didn’t want you to choke on your own vomit like Janis Joplin. I slept in Ryan’s bed.”
“Okay,” was it too soon to make a move? They must have just broken up right? That would explain why Danielle was so mean at lunch – no that wasn’t real, it didn’t actually happen. In any case, probably best to leave now and maintain whatever dignity she has left.
“Do you want to um, meet up later maybe?” She said that in a dignified tone of voice, right? Not desperate?
“Oh, okay.” And there was the smile.
Tree’s mood disintegrated the moment she stepped out of the dorm building. Goth dude checking her out, environmental petition girl, sprinklers, car alarm, frat guy passing out. No, no, no, surely, she couldn’t still be dreaming? She brushed off Tim completely. And the girl whose name she couldn’t remember sitting in the exact same spot on the sorority stairs.
“You sneaky little beyotch.”
“You know those dreams that feel like they’re real?”
“Yeah…does that mean he was really good or really bad. Either way, I hope you wore a condom. We don’t want someone around here looking like a whore. Oh, and remember the house meeting today.”
Back in her room, Lori’s cupcake sitting forgotten on the table, Tree scrolled through all her social medias. No pictures of her mom, and then, three years in, there were condolence messages.
No. no no no no no no no no no no no.
Tree went to Dr. Gregory’s office right after his class let out. There was something wrong with her brain. The hospital would figure it out and fix her and her mother would be alive again.
“I know what you’re going to say. It is normal for a young girl to be attracted to an older man, but you can’t fall in love.”
“What are you talking about?”
Then he was kissing her. Tree pulled away and slapped him.
“What is wrong with you? You are a teacher, and married! What is wrong with you?”
“With me? You are the one who started this affair, sweetheart!”
Tree ran out of the hospital. What kind of dream was this?
Tree decided to try out the drunk theory again, this time taking a path to Sigma house that gave the creepy tunnel a wide berth. The door opened to the knife wielding baby mask guy. She decked him, only to reveal a surprise party behind him. The guy in the mask was just Nick. There was no knife wielding maniac. She had always been creeped out by the mascot and this was a dream. When Nick tried to hit on her she realized that she had totally blown off Carter. She went to a quiet place to call him. She ignored the notification saying she had a voicemail. She had also blown off her birthday lunch. But that was just dream-dad, she could blow him off. Dream-Carter on the other hand might be her only chance at Carter at all.
She noticed when someone was behind her this time. She screamed for help, but if anyone at the party noticed they didn’t get to her in time.
“Oh hey, you’re up.”
Screw dignity, at least Carter was single in this nightmare-land.
“So you think all of this is a dream?”
They were sitting in the cafeteria next to the big window.
“I mean, I guess that’s possible, but honestly your situation reminds me more of Groundhog Day.”
Tree made a confused frown.
“Groundhog Day? Bill Murray? Ghostbusters? You’ve never seen Ghostbusters?”
“Sorry,” Tree shrugged.
“Okay, you wakeup or make it through this day or whatever and we’ll have a marathon. Is that cool?”
“Fine,” an easy and heartbreaking promise to make when he’s not going to know about it when she wakes up.
“In the meantime. Let’s figure out who this killer is. Any suspects?”
“Danielle,” Tree answered too quickly, “Creepy Tim,” she added after a moment. After that she drew a blank.
“Well, that’s a start. And hey, it seems like you have unlimited lives and unlimited number of chances to solve your own murder.”
“I’m supposed to keep dying until I figure out who my killer is?”
Carter leaned over and pinched her, “Well if that didn’t wake you up, I don’t have any other ideas.”
Tree investigated Tim first. When she saw the gay porn, everything fell into place. Also, the killer showed up, absolutely proving Tim’s innocence. Danielle was also exonerated. Tree confirmed that dream-Gregory seemed to think he and Tree were having an affair (and Tree had no idea what in her subconscious made that a thing), but the killer wasn’t his wife. She investigated everyone she was ever even the littlest mean to and was coming up empty.
She stopped caring about consequences and did starting fulfilling every impulse, like dying her hair, streaking, and literally throwing herself at Carter. But even in dream-land the consequences caught up, and she found herself in the hospital with all of her fatal injuries showing up on the x-ray. She hadn’t proved that Gregory wasn’t the murderer yet. She had to get out of there, but during her escape the murderer killed him too.
Tree decided to do absolutely nothing the next day but be catatonic in front of the tv. It was a nice break, until she saw the news segment that evening.
Stupid. How could she have not thought about this before? Of course, she’s dreaming about being murdered right after her roommate got murdered. That explains why her mother is dead in the dream too. This was all just about a fear of death the whole time. And of course, the only way to wake herself up is to face that fear.
The police officer was dead, just like in real life. It was when the ax was knocked out of her hands that she realized what a dumb plan this was.
And then Carter…and then Carter…
She promised him that next time she would do it right when she stepped off the bell tower rail.
She shoots Tombs dead. There, fear faced. Then she eats Lori’s cupcake to celebrate.
“Oh hey, you’re up.”
She knew Lori giving her a cupcake was weird. The dream was about guilt. She was guilty because she survived and her roommate didn’t, and so she was dying over and over again in her dreams. Also explained the Gregory thing. She had had a feeling he and Lori were having an affair and she didn’t do anything about it. This was an opportunity. She apologized to Lori and said goodbye.
And the air was filled with sparks.
And Carter was kissing her and Lori was actually alive and it wasn’t until she saw her mother that Tree knew she was actually awake.
It made her head hurt but apparently it wasn’t a dream but actually a loop of a different version of her life and a different version of her had been living a loop of her life. She was mostly concerned that there was some poor version of her that didn’t have her mom.
“It is sad,” Carter said, “but that was her life and this is yours. You…you are my Tree, right?”
Tree gave a half smile when Carter said “my.”
“Depends, have you broken up with Danielle yet?”
“Oh sh-, I do have to do that.”
Tree allowed Carter to postpone the breakup until the next morning. Everyone needed to sleep and she needed to think.
So, it wasn’t a guilt-induced dream. There was actually a version of Lori out there who wanted to kill her. Tree decided that the lessons she had learned weren’t meaningless. She determined that she was going to be friends with Lori, not just friendly. Maybe the other Lori turned out that way because she needed Tree, but that Tree had been too wrapped up in her own drama to be a fortifying influence. As for her mom, nothing in the future was certain. If Tree ever lost her, if Tree ever lost anybody, she would be sure to appreciate the people she still had. A less enlightened lesson she learned the next day, after she asked Carter how the breakup went and he said Danielle asked if she had told him Danielle was cheating on him with Nick, was that maybe she should let herself have awful, selfish wishes from time to time. They may just come true.