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Darkness claws up the walls as Sophie scrambles awake, the echo of a cry on her tongue. She gasps for breath, clutching at the pendant around her neck, to ground her. Flickering images flash behind her eyes, ones she longs to forget, but the claw eagerly at her mind. Latching on and playing again and again. She tries to focus on the sleeping bodies of her friends around her but her vision swims dangerously. The walls seem to breath in time with her own ragged pants.
The room seems too small, collapsing in on itself, she can hear her friend’s shallow breathing but this time it’s not enough to remind her that ‘it’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real’
Sophie stumbled out of her sleeping bag, her foot getting caught on the edge in her haste and it sent her toppling. She’s not coherent enough to manage more than a gasp as she hits the floor. The person she lands on top of is much more vocal, letting out a loud yelp. It tears at her ears, leaving her shaking slightly as she tries to pull herself back up again.
“Sophie?” A groggy, confused voice somehow finds her ears when she’s finally upright. Sophie can’t respond, her eyes are unfocused. She can see the person in front of her but her mind can’t compute it, the real world simply beyond her reach.
A hand lays against her arm and she flinches back. 'I’m sorry,” The voice says again, sounding far away. More words are spoken but all Sophie catches is the word ‘Safe’, it’s enough that when a cautious hand touches her once more she allows it. She allows herself to be led from the living room, trusting whomever this is to keep her safe, they’d promised safe.
Safe from echoing laughs and dancing flames, if she’s not careful they appear in the corner of her eye. Vaguely she registers a door opening and then cool midnight air envelops her. Soft grass brushes against her bare feet and the hand on her arm directs her carefully through the dark. Each breath of clean air blows away a little of the fog, clearing her senses. By the time they make it to the swaying branches of the Panakes she’s nearly alert.
The hand on her arm gently guides her to the ground, helping her to sit. Sophie drops like a stone, the adrenaline finally crashing. She leans heavily into the shoulder of her companion, whose arm wraps around her shoulders. They sit there silently for an indiscernible amount of time, the rise and fall of their chest slowly matching. Leaves rustle above their heads and the sound of distant nocturnal animals lulls Sophie into calm.
“I couldn’t save them.” Her words are almost lost to the wind, barely a whisper.
Biana doesn’t react, she only continues to rub a soothing hand on Sophie’s arm, listening.
To Sophie, nightmares are simply memories she can’t escape. Her sleep has been plagued by them, but she doesn’t escape them when she’s awake, it’s simply easier to ignore with the bustle of everyday life.
“What am I if I can’t even save people.” Her voice breaks off into a sob, the arm around her tightens.
“You’re Sophie Foster.” Biana whispers, “you’re the most amazing elf I’ve ever met.”Sophie shakes her head,
“But-”
Biana kisses her temple, “It’s not your fault. You’re not going to be able to protect everyone.” She whispers, “Neither am I, or Fitz, or Keefe, or Dex, or Tam, or Linh.”
Sophie presses closer against Biana’s chest. “It’s different for you.” Fingers card through her hair,
“No, it’s not. Maybe Forkle will say it is, or Tierigan, but they’re wrong. Okay?” It’s said with such a strong conviction that Sophie has to turn her head towards the other girl. Biana isn’t looking at her, instead at something, or maybe nothing, ahead of them, brows furrowed.
“But I was made for this.” Sophie argues brokenly, Biana’s eyes close, her head shaking. When they open again it’s to look at the blonde, her gaze soft. “They don’t own you, Sophie. You’re so much more than their Moonlark.” She whispers, “You’re our friend, and you’re just a kid.”
For a moment Sophie hold her gaze, eye brimming with emotion that scrapes at Sophie’s raw nerves. She breaks away, blinking back tears.
“I’m not. I’m just their tool, Biana. It’s all I can ever be.” Despite how she tries to hold back bitterness, it still leaks into her words.
Gentle fingers find her chin, guiding her back to Biana’s face. Sophie stifles a gasp,“Sophie Foster, you are whatever a moon has always meant,” she vows reverently, “and whatever the sun will always sing is you.”
Their foreheads press together lightly, a tear slips down Sophie’s cheek but it’s caught by Biana’s thumb. “You’re so much more than you think.” The words brush against Sophie’s cheek, filling her chest with something so foreign compared to the previous fear and sorrow. Something so large and unknowable that she doesn’t know how to express it, but it builds and it builds. A swirling cloud of so, so much feeling. Her eyelids fall shut from the weight of it all.
“I love you, Sophie. Everything that you are.”
Her throat tightens when she tries to swallow, blocking any words, any expression of gratitude, of love. The gap between them is small, barely there. Sophie closes it, pressing her mouth against her girlfriends lips. It’s unbearably soft, genuine and everything that she can’t bring herself to say.
They pull away and Sophie finally rasps out everything stuck inside her.
“I love you too, so much that I can hardly stand it.”
Biana’s hands curl around the back of her neck, pulling her back in for a short, desperately soft kiss. One hand drifts to Sophie’s cheek, the other pets her hair.
“Sleep, love.” Biana whispers, carefully pulling Sophie down to lay in the grass, facing each other. There is a barely-there press of lips to Sophie’s forehead. “I’ll keep you safe.”
Sophie believes her.