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“What’s your plan? The university’s 50th anniversary is in two weeks.” Changmin asks Chanhee, his best friend who’s also the student council vice president.
“Even as a vice president of the student council, I can never get used to these stares.” Chanhee says, referring to the amount of students staring at them as they walk down the hallway. As the school’s dance troupe leader, Changmin has gotten used to the attention but even with the number of speeches Chanhee has done, that was not the case for him.
“Anyway, I’ve already finalized one of the events for the anniversary. The broadcasting club will be involved this time.” Chanhee explains while Changmin just nods, signalling Chanhee to continue.
Chanhee did continue explaining about the special event, but Changmin was focused on something else. His eyes caught Lee Juyeon, the school’s varsity football player, at the end of the hall with his friends. As someone who’s known by the whole university, he can’t help but notice Juyeon. They were on the same level and had a few classes together, but Changmin didn’t even dare to at least be friends with him, even though everyone could see that sometimes it looks like he’s dying to approach him already.
Chanhee did eventually notice that his best friend was no longer listening to what he was saying, so he followed where his best friend's eyes were intently looking and he immediately sighs.
"How many years are you planning to continue just staring at him from afar like this?" He asks, trying to get his attention but Changmin didn't even budge, which resorted him to stand in front of him, blocking his view.
"Were you... saying something?" Changmin asks while Chanhee just throws a glare at him. Changmin didn't notice that he was staring that intently already, and he also just noticed that Juyeon was looking back at him. Flustered, he turns away and goes inside the classroom, leaving Chanhee clueless.
"Why was he staring at me?"
Those were Juyeon's thoughts at that time. Usually this kind of stuff wouldn't bother him; it wasn't a big deal. But since it was his crush , it's quite a big deal for him.
Yes, he has a crush on Ji Changmin.
From the moment Changmin caught his attention during the school fair dance competition a few years ago, he knew it was going to be hard to just simply “ignore his feelings”. Too much of a fool to actually make a move, he's been liking Changmin from afar as if he was an impossible person to reach. Meanwhile, Younghoon was just staring at him like he’s some kind of idiot.
“Yah, are you just gonna keep standing there? The professor’s coming.” Younghoon calls out. Juyeon is immediately brought back to reality and goes inside his classroom before he gets caught.
“This is so boring. He said he’ll be explaining the events for the anniversary but it’s been 20 minutes and he’s still looking for the notebook where he wrote the details.” Juyeon complains to Younghoon, who is on the verge of falling asleep. But it wasn’t only Younghoon, most of the class were. But before the whole class fell into a deep sleep, the professor had found the notebook and started explaining.
“This is one of the approved events, which involves the broadcasting club.”
Juyeon’s ears perked up with the mention of Younghoon’s club. He mouthed to the latter, ‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?’ and Younghoon just shrugs.
“To spread love and appreciation, you will be able to write letters to someone you appreciate or love and put it on the drop box outside the club’s meeting room. Those letters will be read anonymously during the first portion of the university’s live broadcast special, also managed by the broadcasting club.”
And once again, another opportunity for Juyeon to confess has come. He has planned on confessing in the past too, but was too afraid to actually do it in fear of rejection. Now this might be a riskier mode of confessing as it will be read in a broadcast and he doesn’t exactly know what to say, but the thought of confessing remains in his mind.
After classes
"Aren't you gonna go home?" Changmin asks Chanhee, who was busy organizing a stack of papers.
"I still have a meeting." Chanhee drags his words, a sign that he's tired, followed with a sigh.
"You can go with Sunwoo though. I heard he doesn't have training today, but he does have a short team meeting. It'll be done in a few minutes."
Sunwoo was in the football team (yes, the same team as Juyeon), so he went to the field where he assumes the meeting takes place. He could already see the team gathered in a circle from the entrance and he goes to the bleachers first to sit down as it looks like the meeting is still ongoing.
The "short" meeting wasn't that short, so he was doing all sorts of things on his phone to beat the boredom. His eyes eventually ended up wandering around the field, and it landed again on the football team. Recognizing another familiar face aside from Sunwoo, he looks closer in order to figure out who it was.
He freezes on his spot as he recognizes it was Juyeon. It shouldn’t be a surprise to him that he would see him there; he was well aware that he was a part of the football team, it just slipped away from his mind for a while.
And at that moment, it seems like the meeting is finished because the next thing he knows is that Sunwoo is already approaching him, with Juyeon walking beside him.
“I received Chanhee’s text and I’m going to do as told because I don’t have a death wish. Oh, and this is Juyeon, whom I normally walk with after school.”
Still not grasping the situation, Changmin awkwardly says hello and Juyeon does the same. Sunwoo’s looking at the two of them suspiciously, Changmin isn’t usually this awkward even with strangers, and so is Juyeon. There’s this tension in the air, and Sunwoo know’s this will be an interesting walk home.
Not even halfway through their walk home and Sunwoo is about to give up due to the awkwardness. Desperate to lighten the atmosphere, he breaks the silence and starts ranting about how his day went by. He got a few laughs from the other two, so he was a bit relieved. The rest of the walk home went alright, but Changmin had to say goodbye to the other two as his house was closer than theirs.
“It was nice meeting you today. See you around.” Juyeon says, shooting an eye smile at Changmin, which definitely made his heart skip a beat.
“These damn feelings.”
2 days before the school’s anniversary
Changmin had arrived at the university’s gates earlier than usual for no specific reason. Entering the lobby, he spots Juyeon who seems to be waiting for someone. Feeling kind of confident since their last meeting went well, he approached him and Juyeon did notice him, waving back.
“Are you waiting for someone?” Changmin asks, looking around.
“Not really, I just wanted to stay in the lobby for a while. But if you’re gonna go in now, I'll come with you.” Juyeon reasons', when in fact he is waiting for someone, Sunwoo had told him to wait for him because Sunwoo had to return his notebook.
Like he said, he also went in as soon as Changmin said he'd be going. As it was still too early, he ended up staying in Changmin’s classroom for a while, as he also had friends there. In the midst of all the laughing, a pissed Sunwoo comes barging in.
“Yah Lee Juyeon, why did you have to make me go to the second floor of the building? My classroom is so far from here! Didn’t I tell you to wai—”
His words got cut off when Juyeon covered his mouth, a sign that he should stop before Juyeon smacks him in the head.
“Why are you making such a fuss when you’re not even in your own classroom? And you could’ve just left my notebook on my table instead of coming all the way here.”
Embarrassment settles in as Sunwoo realizes the situation, (with also half of the class staring at him) while Changmin is just laughing at his now crimson colored friend. He then becomes more embarrassed as the professor walks in and tells them to go out as they don’t belong in the class.
Lunch Break
There are two days left until the submission of letters closes and Juyeon already wrote his, the only thing that’s left to do is put it in the drop box. Easy, right? But here he is, in their classroom with Younghoon, still contemplating if he should submit it or not.
“For fucks sake please stop pacing in front of me, I’m dizzy as hell.” Younghoon complains, running his fingers exasperatedly through his hair. He was once again tolerating Juyeon’s rants about his “secret” crush, (but everyone knows who it is, thanks to Haknyeon.) and anyone can tell he’s tired of it.
“You’re no help! I’ve been asking you since yesterday if I should send it in or not!” Juyeon reasons, clearly more frustrated over this than the math test he took a while ago.
“Well, it’s not like you’ll actually take my advice.” Younghoon says, rolling his eyes while Juyeon just lowers his head in frustration.
“Look, I’ve seen this sight of you every time an opportunity for you to confess comes. This might be more nerve-wracking for you since it's gonna be in live broadcast, but are you just gonna let every chance pass by?” Younghoon persuades, he’s had enough of his friend just standing there and doing nothing.
“Fuck it, I’m gonna send it in.”
The day of the event
All of the students are gathered in the gymnasium, waiting for the event to start. Even though students were allowed to sit with whom they wanted to, he purposely sat somewhere quite far from Changmin; he didn’t wanna know how he would react. It was evident in his face that he was nervous even though the event hadn't started yet.
When the event started, it only made Juyeon more nervous, but he tried his best not to show it. Meanwhile Changmin was all giggly, getting excited because of the letters that will be read. Not that he’s expecting a letter to be addressed to him and if one will really be addressed to him, he only hopes that it’s from Juyeon.
Almost twenty minutes into the event and several letters were already read; most of them are just short and some of them are only a few words, but Juyeon’s letter is yet to be read. Like everyone says, regret is always in the end. Not that he’s sincerely regretting sending in the letter, but he sure doesn’t like the nervousness it’s giving him. At this point he would be relieved if something went wrong and they wouldn’t be able to read his letter, but it was too late for that, as the letter being read this time is his.
“ This next letter is addressed to… Ji Changmin of Class A2.”
Everyone’s eyes turned to Changmin, but it was no surprise for them; many students liked him. It seems like he’s the only one flustered in this situation, while Juyeon is trying to figure out how Changmin feels right now from his expression.
“I've kept my feelings for you contained as long as I can, so today I'll be telling you how I really feel. I don't really know how I can express my feelings to you, but from the moment you caught my attention a few years ago, I know that it'll be hard to just ignore these feelings for you. For some reason, just seeing you laughing from afar made me really happy but as time passed by, I wanted to get closer to you. I want to keep you as a flower I'm charged with looking after. I’m not sure how you feel about me, which is why I was worried. But despite the fear of rejection which held me back from confessing to you for months, I don’t regret telling you how I feel. If you already have your answer, then I'll always be by the garden, on the bench under the birch tree after class. I’m not expecting much, but a “yes” would be nice. :)”
As soon as the emcee finished reading the letter, everyone’s whispering, wondering who sent the letter. Juyeon tries to see Changmin’s expression again and he seems quite happy, which makes him relieved. The confession also made Changmin happy, now the only thing he has to do in order to give an answer is to find out who sent it.
When the event ended, the students were free to do whatever they want for the rest of the day. On the way out of the stadium, Changmin caught up with Chanhee, just to ask him if he had any clue who sent the confession letter.
“Hey Choi—"
“No, I don’t know who sent the letter.” Chanhee immediately answers, which made him seem suspicious from Changmin’s point of view.
“How did you know that was what I’m gonna ask?” Changmin asks, eyeing Chanhee suspiciously, while the latter just scoffs.
“Anyone can tell from your face that you’re curious. Oh right, you have no plans right? Then let’s watch the football game.” Chanhee says, pulling Changmin, not letting him decide. The next thing he knows, he’s sitting in the bleachers, eyes following Juyeon’s every move.
“You hesitated coming with me but now you won’t even take your gaze off of Juyeon.” Chanhee mumbles, rolling his eyes, while Changmin looks at him in disbelief.
“Hey, I know that you brought me here because you had no one to accompany you to watch Sunwoo play, not because you wanted me to see Juyeon since I didn’t know he had a match today.”
The two return to focusing on the game after bickering, both focusing on two different persons. As Juyeon scores the last point of the match, Changmin stands up cheering for him unconsciously, which caught Juyeon’s attention; he’d recognize that scream anywhere.
Changmin goes down the bleachers to congratulate Juyeon, while Chanhee goes straight to Sunwoo. Out of excitement, he hugs Juyeon, which made both of them flustered for a moment, but Juyeon still hugged back.
“You did great today! It’s my first time seeing you this cool.” Changmin jokes. He notices Juyeon’s team members celebrating from afar, so he tells Juyeon to go to them. He just stands there, smiling at Juyeon who was now being carried by his teammates. He then looks back and happens to see Chanhee, who seems like he wants to approach Sunwoo who was also with his teammates. Changmin just laughs at his friend, dragging him to the exit.
“Let him be, he’ll be celebrating with his teammates today. You can have your date tomorrow or any other day.”
“But he said that it— wait. Who told you that we were dating? Yah, Ji Changmin, come back here!”
It was quite an eventful day and Changmin got home, feeling tired. He may be tired but he has a lot of thoughts in his mind, including the letter. He didn’t wanna think about it for a while, so he flops down his sofa and searches for any series to binge watch on netflix. His eyes are now glued to the television, focusing deeply on the movie playing. He loses focus when the phone that he’s holding vibrates, indicating that he has received a message or a notification. He unconsciously smiles when he reads the name of the sender, which is Juyeon.
‘yah, why did yall leave me behind a while ago >:(‘
Another smile forms on his face as he finds the way that Juyeon types cute, with the emoticons at the end of his text.
‘ didn’t you go with your teammates somewhere to celebrate?’
‘i’m exhausted, i’m just laying down in bed rn. plus i’m not in the mood to handle drunk people today.’
‘you’re tired, so why aren’t you sleeping?’
‘what about you? aren’t you tired? you cheered for me too much during the game.’
Changmin’s face is now as red as a tomato; he didn’t know that Juyeon actually heard his voice in the midst of hundreds of people cheering for him.
‘i am but my eyes won’t close so i'm watching netflix now. you should sleep now tho, it’s getting late.’
‘i can’t sleep though. but maybe if you sing for me that’ll help.’
‘i’m a dancer not a singer. my voice will give you nightmares.’
‘i doubt that, sunwoo told me that before you were into dancing, you liked singing.’
‘sunwoo this idiot..’
Changmin was once again startled when his phone rang in the midst of texting, and it turns out Juyeon wanted to facetime with him. He was hesitant in answering the call, but he did it anyway.
‘why did you call?’
‘so you can help me sleep. by singing me a song’
That was just one of the many reasons why Juyeon wanted to facetime Changmin. He actually called to somehow hint to Changmin that he was the one who sent the letter, but he couldn’t find the right words to say.
‘ fine. what song do you want me to sing then?’
‘anything. you decide’
Changmin thinks of an easy song to sing, he even thought of just singing twinkle twinkle little star. He ended up choosing lullaby by jukjae, a song he often listened to when he couldn't fall asleep.
Changmin started singing the first verse, and as expected, his voice was soothing. Juyeon’s eyelids start getting heavy as Changmin continues to sing. By the end of the chorus, he was greeted by a soundly sleeping Juyeon, phone still focused on his face. He feels happy, it’s been a long time since he sang like that. Feeling satisfied, he says goodnight to Juyeon before ending the call.
‘ Sleep well, dream of me.’
The weekend has passed by, and Changmin’s on his way to the university again. He’s still thinking of ways on how to figure out who sent the letter since it’s been two days after the event, and he still doesn’t know what his answer will be until he finds out who sent it. He’s already thought of asking someone from the broadcasting club if he could see the letter, but then again it was anonymous, so the sender couldn’t have left their name on it. Lost in his thoughts, he bumps into Sunwoo.
“Did you not get enough sleep? It’s too early to be this dazed.” Sunwoo says, looking at Changmin who was wincing in pain as he bumped his forehead too hard on Sunwoo’s back.
“Let me guess, it’s about the letter?” Changmin perks up with the mention of the letter.
“Do you have any idea who it is? Even just little details or something.” Changmin says, practically begging.
“Okay, I’ll give you a hint. You know him, and he’s close to you. That’s all I’m gonna say. I don’t want to be skinned alive.”
“Wait, a hint? So you do know who it is! Why can’t you just tell me?!”
“Like I said already, I don’t want to be skinned alive.”
Changmin was about to say something, but he was interrupted by the sound of the school bell, while Sunwoo looked relieved because he was trying so hard not to say who was the sender of the letter.
After class
Changmin scurried to the garden a few minutes after his last class ended. Since most parts of the garden was viewable from it’s entrance (including the birch tree where the sender said they would be), so he just decided to carefully peek in to see who will be there. He peeks and sees two people sitting on the bench under the tree, but he couldn’t recognize who. He backs off for a moment, being careful to not get caught. He might look like an idiot to the students coming in and out of the garden, but that was the only way he could think of to figure out who likes him and finally give an answer.
He calms himself down and tries to peek, again. This time both of them are facing forward, so he could see their faces clearly. His eyes widened when he recognized who they were; it was Younghoon and Juyeon and he turns away in shock.
Now the question was; which one of them sent the letter?
He saw Juyeon in there, so a part of him was hoping that it was him who sent it while a part of him doesn’t know what to feel if it was Younghoon. He composes himself and decides to enter the garden. He stops right by the pole near the entrance; still not ready. He takes a deep breath, but as he tries to go in, a figure blocks his way. He looks up and sees Younghoon, and he immediately says sorry as he almost bumped into him. Younghoon just nods but he doesn’t get out of the way, so Changmin thinks he still has something to say.
“Go in, he’s excited and worried, but he’s waiting for you to come. Try not to break his heart.”
Younghoon pats him on his back and gets going. ‘So it was him…’ Changmin thought. He was happy that Juyeon liked him back, and he also feels stupid that he didn’t notice it in the first place. With a satisfied smile, he walks in and sees Juyeon who was waving at him.
“Seems like you have an answer already.” Juyeon said smiling, but deep inside he was still worried.
“You do know that you could’ve just confessed to me upfront and I would say yes, right?”
Juyeon looked at Changmin who was smiling, making sure that he heard him correctly.
“My answer is a yes.”