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“Hi” Victor exhaled, feeling the weight off his shoulder finally lifted, he knew what and who he wanted. Benji looked at him for a second before wanting to close the door in his face. Victor used his foot to stop him “wait” Victor asks, “what do you want Victor” Benji says giving Victor the same look he gave Victor after the first time they kissed at the motel. Cold tone of voice, not really looking at him “I want you” Victor says passionately “It sure as hell doesn’t look like that seeing you two together on the dance floor” he said with a hint of anger, “I can honestly say he doesn’t mean anything to me “his hand on his heart “oh yeah right” Benji rolled his eyes” he doesn’t! Please can we just talk? We haven’t been good at that this past couple of weeks” he asked begging Benji to just hear him out” fine but out here, my parents are in bed” Benji closed the door, and both sit down on the step outside the door.
“Firstly I want to say I love you” Victor begins with, then taken I deep breath, Benji rolled his eyes like that is going to fix things he thought “secondly that I am so sorry I told Rahim about AA and your sobriety, it was a crappy thing to do, the most crappy thing I’ve ever done in fact” he looked done at the ground “ what type of boyfriend betrays the one thing he promised not to do” he finally looked at Benji with his head down also “I am sorry also for being a hypocrite I swore to you and myself I wouldn’t be like my parents or be closed off again and yet here I am, I never wanted to fight this big” Benji nodded “ I want to say thank you, for calling our my mom the other night, I should’ve stuck up for you way more than what I did, she not only treated me bad but you as well. You were only saying the truth”.
Benji finally looked at Benji “ I am sorry though for outing you to Adrian, you guys should have really handled that I had no business getting involved with that” Victor shakes his head disagreeing with him ‘ but it does involves you, I do accept and appreciate your apology though” Benji softly smiled “ one of the reasons why I was always dismissive whenever you said about your mom slowly coming around is that” he sighed “ because I love you and didn’t want to see you more hurting then you were, or to go through the bad stuff I did, that dinner at the end of summer, it really hurt me too. It also hurt seeing how conferrable she was around Rahim as well you know” Victor fought the edge Benji’s hand “I know and I shouldn’t appreciate that more and of course it hurt you as well seeing her like that, it annoyed me too”. There was a silent moment before either of them speaks again like they were taking in each other feelings and apologies.
“She ugh she actually came and saw me, at work. We had a good chat actually apologised to me, brought me her famous chicken “both of their smiles fitting bigger “you have no idea how much that means to me” Victor said.
Butterflies at the pit of his stomach, and sparks racing through his body as Benji ever so slowly grabs Victors’ hand “I know it does and to me too. I should have been more patient with her too. I also should’ve been more understanding when you said about me not understanding what it’s like for you, with your family’s religion, and the fact that you're Latino; shouldn’t have been so dismissive of that. We both said a lot of things that night we both regret. She also apologised that if she’s the reason why we’re fighting. I’m proud of you for also sticking up to your mom, you big mommas’ boy” they both laughed.
“I never told you about AA is because” Victor interrupts Benji “no need to explain any more or apologies for anything to do with AA you’ve done that already, it is me who should be, I made it all about me and didn’t think why or understand your reason why you didn’t want to say anything” Benji squeezed his hand “ I wanted to keep our perfect summer bubble like you did” Victor gave him a soft smile “I know you hate that part of your life or that you don’t want it to get in the way, I get that now. I will always love every part of you okay, the good the bed. I just want to support you and scream how proud I am of you. You said to me the night of the bonfire, it is that simple to keep the bubble, the rest is the noise you and me that’s what matters but along the way we let the noise get the better of us. Do you know Lake use to say to Felix ‘weren’t a me we’re we’, we need to talk more about things. We can’t just have sex or make out and pretend we don’t have problems…… no matter how great both of those things are” a light smirk and blush appended on Benji a face “I still stand by what I said the night of the bonfire “Benji strokes the back of his hand “my god so do I” said Victor without hesitation
Benji smiles “no more secrets, only us,” Benji says “we definitely need to talk more about anything and everything, if we want to move on” Victor, nodded “so,” Benji says knowing what they need to talk about next” about Rahim” Victor nodded knowing this is the next big thing they need to talk about. “the only reason why you saw us at the wedding is that Pilar didn’t want to go with me, I became friends with him because he gets what it’s like for me” Benji sighed “ I know and I get that now but” there it was victory took a deep breath “as your boyfriend I would be lying if I didn’t say sometimes it is hard that I can’t help you with that part” Victor nodded “ I feel the same with your sponsor, and like you, I get it” Benji takes a sigh of relief knowing it wasn’t just him.
“now I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that we kissed” Benji stared at Victor, heart sinking into his stomach “and I would even more dishonest if I didn’t say I felt something too….. I’m sorry” was all Victor could say “oh that’s just great,” Benji says sarcastically pulling away from him “But there is nothing more than friendship my end at least” Victor gets hold on Benji’s hand before he could move further away “if my sister didn’t know about his feelings for me, she wouldn’t have said anything. but to be honest I think about it now it was to do with not wanting to see Felix” Victor says truthfully “wait what?” Benji asked confused “yeah they kissed but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow anyway, It happened after you left, he said to me he didn’t see me just as a friend, also that I know where to find him if I felt the same way” Benji continues to look waiting for him to continue “you’re the only one I want, I chose you. I’m done with being in limbo with you, fighting with you. I’m so done making you feel sad or angry” a lump in both of their throats started to form “I want us back. I want you B, please don’t get up on me or us”
There was a long pause, Victor’s heart beating so fast I swore Benji could hear it
“I don’t want to be without you either, you know I could never give up on you even if we’re fighting to be honest” all that victor could do was let out a light laughing sob out of relief.
Benji smiles “um would it be okay for me to ask you to talk to Rahim? Set the record straight and all, it isn’t fair on anyone “Victor nodded “of course we’re don’t hurt people anymore “Benji nodded agreeing “exactly” Benji says “but I defiantly understand what he sees in you” Victor blushed
“I’ll ask to meet him at the park or something and talk to him. He’s friends with Pilar so I can’t promise he won’t be at my house. I can’t be his friend anymore, I can’t trust him and once again, I am so sorry for telling him things I promise I wouldn’t. I will work so hard to restore that trust I promise”
“Okay” is all Benji can say. There was another long pause “where does that leave us?” he asked Victor
“I don’t know” victor admitted even though it hurt to “all I know is that I don’t want to be without you anymore. I’ll fight for us, for what we’ve had”
“You don’t have to, I want to fight for us too” finally Benji looking into Victor's eyes just how he did before, with love and affection. His eyes then moved to Victor's lips for not even a fraction of a second before he leans across and closes the space between them, finally after how many days their lips touching. Benji was the first to pull away, both gasping for air “I love you Victor” he says quietly “I love you too” victor replied quickly
“Stay with me,” Benji says a minute later their foreheads still touching “don’t want to be anywhere else than here with you”. Smiles on their face, their hands still laced together Benji pulled Victor into the house, Benji locked the door before taking Victor’s hand walking up to his room. Something was calming about walking back into Benjie’s room something so familiar and comforting “come on, we should get some sleep” Benji says Victor nodded. The striped down into the boxers. Victor was the first one to climb into bed while Benji turned off the lights but soon crawled next to Victor.
“I missed you,” Benji says on a whisper as they face each other “I missed you too” they smiled again at each other; victor pushes a strand of Benji’s hair out of his face “I love you,” he said in a whisper “I love you too” Benji replies. The gap between them got shorted, Benji tilts his head up and kisses Victor briefly. Then both wrapped their arms around each other. Benji nuzzling into Victor’s chest “this right here, is where we belong Benji says with his eyes shut and with contentment “you in here right in my arms, is the only place I want to be” was the last thing they both heard before they fell asleep