Archive of Our Own

Shizzz. Snap. Clang. Ring ring. Hello? That’ll be all? Click. Twing twing. Sizzle. Swishh. Klang. Here’s your order.

Taehyung was used to the rush and the sounds. At any given moment, he could hear the ringing of a phone, the sizzle of something on the wok, the tinkling of the windchimes in the hallway. The sound of steel against steel as the chef stir fried shrimp, the sound of his own footsteps as he walked to tables with hot bowls of soup in his hand. He didn’t have a second to spare, being one of the 3 people that worked at the Chinese takeout shop. Taehyung’s day was chaos and multitasking. He didn’t love it. But he didn’t hate it either.

He had become almost part of the restaurant, a cog in the machine. He blended into the walls, into the chaos of the kitchen and almost became invisible. Without him, the restaurant would be in shambles (at least more than it was now) but no one noticed him. He was used to it.

Taehyung was so familiar with every sound and every scene that could possibly take place in the restaurant, nothing ever pulled him out of his orbit. Out of his series of tasks. Today was slightly different. For some reason, when the bell on top of the door signalled the arrival of a new customer, Taehyung felt a strange pull. An itch to go find out who it was. Maybe it was the time. Who came to eat soup at 11? That too just when they were closing? Or maybe it was just that he was tired. Whatever it was, he found himself peeking out from behind the beaded curtain separating the kitchen and the dining space, as the other worker took the customer’s order.

His breath caught in his throat at sight of the customer. He was a man dressed in red from head to toe. His hair was a beautiful shade of red, resembling the hue of cherries. A pretty set of rose-tinted glasses sat on the bridge of this nose and shining ruby earrings dangled from his earlobes. Every piece of clothing he was wearing was a shade of red, even the fur on the collar of his jacket. Taehyung felt intimidated by the entity, even though he wasn’t even near him. Something about the man radiated… power? Strength? Something… upper? Higher.

Taehyung snapped out of his daze. What was he doing? He had work to do. He went back into the claustrophobic kitchen, helping to clean up. There was one pot on the stove, clearly for the late-night customer. Soon, he was walking up to the man’s table with a bowl of hot soup in his hand.

“Here’s your soup.” He said, needing to muster up all his courage to look at the man. He was met by dark, but somehow warm eyes. “You need anything else?”

He smiled and shook his head. Taehyung turned on his heel, on his way to return to his endless chores inside. He was called back by the customer before he could take a step away from the table.

“Actually, I’ll have a tea.” He said with yet another smile, tucking a strand of fiery hair behind his ear. Taehyung should’ve felt creeped out or at least suspicious of this smiling customer in red. But all he felt was a magnetic pull.

He quickly went and fetched the teapot and a cup. Then he poured hot tea for the man. He received a quiet thanks in return. The stranger reached out and circled his index finger about the rim lazily. Taehyung idly noted the red on his nails and the swirling symbols of ink on his fingers. The man looked up at Taehyung with those eyes again. Maintaining eye contact, he lifted the cup to his lips. Taehyung stood there, unable to break away from the man’s captivating gaze. He lingered a second more than necessary, noting the rose hue lining his eyelids, his pink lips and the mole under them, before walking back towards the kitchen.

Something about the man pulled him in so hard, he was strayed out of his orbit. He couldn’t concentrate on his work. It hadn’t been even a minute since he had seen the man at the table, but he found himself longing to peek at him again through the beaded curtain. When he came up to the curtain with a takeout order in his hand, the man was gone.

Taehyung walked up to the table, shocked. The soup was still there, steam dancing on top of the full bowl. The only sign of the man’s presence at all was the empty cup of tea. And the longing in Taehyung’s heart.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung wiped the sweat off his forehead. It wasn’t any use. It would reappear in a matter of moments. But he did it because, this too, was a habit. As he walked to pick up the ringing phone, he gave himself exactly one second to wonder what he did not because it was his job or a habit but because he wanted to. One second wasn’t nearly enough to recall that.

Yes. Is that all? Thank you.

Taehyung walked back into the kitchen and relayed the order to the chef. The chef nodded and poured oil into the pot, his own face dripping with sweat from spending all his time in front of the flames. Taehyung went to the sink to wash the dirty bowls of soup. It was one of the chores he didn’t mind doing.

It was almost closing time when he was done. He went out to check if any of the tables were still unmade. He wiped one last table clean before going to turn off the neon open sign. The switch was outside. He opened the door, a ting coming from the bell on top, and saw something that made his eyes go wide. Not something, someone. 

It was the man from yesterday. Still clad in red from top to bottom. His jacket today was an odd shade of brown, a terracotta that somehow went with all the red. Taehyung was speechless. The man stood outside the restaurant, looking Taehyung in the eyes and giving him that smile from the day before. He brought a hand to up to his mouth. He was holding a lollipop in his hand, which he now inserted in his mouth. Taehyung could make out the outline of the orb against his cheek.

Taehyung opened his mouth, only for a weird huff of air to exit him. It was somewhat of a laugh. Unable to form sentences, the red entity broke the silence.

“You still open?”

Taehyung nodded wildly.

The man smiled and walked past him, into the restaurant. Taehyung followed shortly after. The man sat at the same table while Taehyung hovered awkwardly beside him, waiting to take his order.

“I’ll take a tea.”

Taehyung went and fetched the while teapot and a cup. He held the cup in one hand and tilted the teapot, hot amber liquid flowing out of it. As he placed the cup on the table, the cherry-haired man reached out and ran his index finger against the rim of the cup. It seemed to be a habit. Taehyung hadn’t had a chance to let go of the cup yet, as one of the customer’s fingers brushed against his own. Taehyung felt his stomach do a somersault at the brief touch. He pulled his hand back as if scorched.

“D-do you want anything else?” Taehyung asked, his eyes trained on the table.

“You.”

Taehyung’s eyes flew to the man’s. What was he saying?

“I want you to sit. With me.” He clarified.

Taehyung didn’t have the self-control to deny him this request.

They sat in silence as the stranger sipped on his tea, occasionally looking up at Taehyung. He didn’t say anything, his eyes speaking volumes. Taehyung didn’t understand anything his eyes wanted to convey. All he knew was that he wanted to learn. He wanted to know how to comprehend his looks. Because they made him feel things Taehyung didn’t know how to feel. How to describe. Those eyes made him feel things part of him didn’t want to feel. The silence made Taehyung feel many things, but not once did he feel awkward.

It seemed like an eternity later, when Taehyung closed his eyes to blink, that the man had decided it was time to leave. Taehyung had opened his eyes to an empty seat in front of him, the table looking just like it had the night before. The only sign of the strange man’s presence was the empty teacup. And Taehyung’s growing longing for him to come back.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung didn’t have time for this. He buried the pain deep inside, so that he could focus on the task at hand. Ignoring it definitely wouldn’t make it better but he wasn’t going to waste time on it now. He rushed over to the ringing telephone and held it between his shoulder and his ear. He lifted his hand to his lips and sucked on the cut. With the other hand he wrote down the order. He removed his finger from his mouth to answer the lady on the phone, putting it back into his mouth once he was done talking. It was a long-ish cut that ran around the side of his index finger. It was dripping blood that Taehyung didn’t have time to clean up. He removed his finger again, answering the lady’s question. When he was done, he said thank you and hung up.

Even as he walked to the kitchen, he ran his tongue over the cut, trying to soothe it subconsciously. He might be ignoring the cut but he felt the irritation nonetheless. It was instinct to keep going over it.

Over the course of the day, Taehyung eventually forgot about the cut. It became a dark red.  A scab forming to stop any more blood-flow. Taehyung went on with his work, carrying boxes, cleaning tables, helping out the chef. Yet another day of work and blending into the restaurant. Of being invisible.

It was closing time. Taehyung was tired and needed a rest. He took the teapot that always had complementary tea and went to sit down. His feet led him to a table. He sat down on one side. As he poured tea into the little white cup, he remembered that this was the table that the strange man sat at. He set the cup full of tea on the table and looked down at his hands. He finally paid the cut some attention.

“You should put something on that.”

Taehyung lifted his head. It was him. It was the same red hair and rose-tinted glasses. Taehyung was shocked to say the least. If he wasn’t speechless at the man’s sudden arrival already, what he did next certainly did it. He reached out and touched Taehyung’s hand. His touch was so soft, and so light, as if it was barely there. Taehyung couldn’t dare pull back.

Taehyung looked down at the hands on the table. The man’s tattooed fingers brushing over his own skin. The sight was so… beautiful. The man was now fully holding Taehyung’s hand. He pulled it closer and leaned down. His lips touched the scab ever so lightly. Taehyung felt relief flood into his veins. And then guilt.

Taehyung stiffened. He sharply pulled his hand away. This was wrong. He looked up at the man accusingly.

His eyes were again that mix of warm and welcoming, urging Taehyung to feel comfortable. But they also had a darkness. A look that scared Taehyung, but also pulled him in. Asked him to dare. The man was now looking at Taehyung pleadingly, begging him. But for what? Taehyung didn’t know.

The man stood up and started to leave. As he walked towards the door, Taehyung thought it was exactly what he should do. Leave. After what he had attempted.

But the second the man set a foot outside the restaurant a wave of desperation crashed against Taehyung. He ran up to the door, pulling it open with a strong grip.

“Wait.”

The man looked over his shoulder. Giving Taehyung a chance. Except Taehyung didn’t know what he wanted himself. Did he want him to stay? To leave? He remained silent. The cherry headed man looked at him in something that resembled disappointment. Then he walked off into the night.

Taehyung sighed at himself. He came back into the restaurant and looked at the table they had sat at. The table was empty, save for the cup of tea. Tonight, it was full. The only sign of the man’s presence being the ever growing longing in Taehyung’s heart.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung was probably going crazy. That must surely be it. It made sense. He saw a ridiculous looking man every night.  A man with crazy hair and eccentric fashion choices. He disappeared at the end of their ‘visits’. He had kissed his hand and magically his cut had disappeared? He even appeared at the oddest time, at the end of a chaotic day. It was possible. It must just be his tired mind playing tricks with him.

Taehyung decided that he believed himself. That the man was surely a figment of imagination. He went on with his work as usual, answering calls and rushing to tables with hot soup and wiping tables. The constant state of busyness helped him keep the red distraction out of his mind, but somewhere in the back of his head, the man still lingered.

After a whole day of ignoring thoughts about him, Taehyung had finally forgotten about the red smudge in his head. Little did he know, that this was momentary. He stood leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for the last order so that the restaurant could close for the night. The cook ladled the soup into a bowl and Taehyung was off to the dining space to deliver the last order of the day.

The customer was none other than the man that tormented Taehyung all day. He didn’t need to look at him. The red blur from the corner of his eye was enough. He put in all his effort into looking at the table. He was determined not to let his mind play tricks on him again. Maybe if he ignored him, the strange entity would finally leave him alone.

“What’s your name?”

Taehyung looked up instinctively. He was being spoken to. But since he was so busy boring holes into the table, he hadn’t heard. Or maybe it was because his heart was beating too loud. Who knows?

“huh?” he asked, caught off guard by the man’s speech.

“What is your name?” He repeated, looking up at Taehyung now, with those eyes of his.

Taehyung chuckled nervously. “T-Taehyung… “he replied, a hand scratching the back of his neck.

If the man noticed his flustered state, he didn’t mention it. He gave Taehyung something between a smile and a smirk.

“Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He lifted his cup of tea, almost like a salud.

Taehyung couldn’t help but give a shy smile back. He said “enjoy” before heading for the kitchen, smiling to himself. God must know why. Because hell if Taehyung knew.

He looked back over his shoulder, perhaps to look at the strange man one more time, but Taehyung should’ve known better. All he saw was an empty restaurant.

Taehyung sighed and went into the kitchen. He seriously needed a break from the chaos of the restaurant. It was getting to him.

He went to the back of the kitchen, to the sink. He leaned against the cool steel wall and looked up at the ceiling. This was Taehyung’s idea of a break. When Taehyung felt warm fingers on his hands, he was shocked, but too tired to react.

He slowly tilted his head down to its normal position to see that head of cherry hair he had gotten used to. The customer, Jungkook, was standing in front of him, his hands on Taehyung’s. Taehyung looked at the man for a moment, taking in details like his heart earrings and the symbol inked on his neck, before looking down at their tangled hands. The sight made him feel inexplicable things. The inked fingers holding his rough, calloused hands. The symbols were beautiful, but Taehyung didn’t know what they meant. He looked on in awe as Jungkook proceeded to intertwine his fingers with Taehyung’s fully holding on. The sight made him wonder how good those fingers would look on other parts of him…

Taehyung instantly felt his gut twist, a guilt embedded deep inside him. This wasn’t… how it’s meant to be. This was… unnatural, wrong. A guy shouldn’t… couldn’t…

Taehyung squeezed his eyes shut, wanting to pull away from the touch. When he tried to push the man away, his hands met air. Taehyung opened his eyes, and he was alone in the empty kitchen.

爱 爱 爱

Hello. Yes. Will that be all? Thank you.

Taehyung hung up with a click and went into the kitchen to let the cook know. Then he rushed out to collect the delivery of kimchi they were expecting that day. Taking the boxes one by one, he walked to and from the storage beside the kitchen. Today was an especially hard day. No matter how much work he was doing, or how many tasks he had, his mind wouldn’t stray from the red problem in the back of his head. The day was torture for Taehyung, not physically but mentally.

This was very stupid to begin with. Why was Taehyung letting a man occupy his mind for so long? And why was he longing for said man? This was stupid and wrong and crazy. He should shake it off before he starts doing something even worse. Before his feelings get dangerous. He couldn’t possibly harbour feelings for a man. He wasn’t like that.

But on the other hand, his heart ached. Throughout the day, he wished to have another glimpse of his scarlet visitor. He had short flashes of the moments he spent with him, images of him smiling rushing through his mind. He longed for the man to come back, to gift him with his presence. He wanted to admire the man and all his little features, like the mole beneath his lips, the ink on his fingers and his magical eyes.

Taehyung warred with himself all day, going back and forth between trying to forget the man and trying to find reasons why falling for him wasn’t a crime. The inner torment was nearly unbearable for Taehyung. At the end of the day, when he went to turn off the neon sign, he closed his eyes and took deep breaths of the cold night air. He needed a break from the ongoing battle with himself.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a smudge of red against a lamp-post on the street. Taehyung closed his eyes and rubbed them. When he opened them again, it was clear that it was Jungkook. Jungkook smiled and pushed himself off the lamp-post. Then he walked towards Taehyung. Instantly, all of Taehyung’s resistance was gone. All he wanted was to get lost in this vermillion dream. To give himself up to the man. He let out an awkward laugh as the man walked past him and into the restaurant.

It was strange, that Jungkook walked past the table they usually sit at. Instead, he sauntered lazily up to the tank that held the lobsters. He seemed oddly familiar to the restaurant, as if he had spent hours in the small place and knew where everything was. He stood there, silent, watching the red crustaceans with admiration. Taehyung didn’t know why but he felt his chest squeeze at the sweet image.

 The two of them were the only ones in the restaurant, everyone having left at closing time. Taehyung had only a few more chores before he could close up and go home. Although right now, he had forgotten all about those tasks, focusing fully on his favourite customer.

Jungkook turned around slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. He looked at Taehyung and raised both his brows, silently saying go on, don’t worry about me. Taehyung reluctantly went inside the kitchen to clean up.

Jungkook had a way of walking so softly, so discreetly that Taehyung didn’t notice when he had come into the kitchen and leaned against a wall. The only thing that clued Taehyung in on his presence was the flash of red he spotted from the corner of his eyes.

He didn’t look at him. He knew that if he did, he would be too distracted and wouldn’t be able to finish his chores. So he washed up, all the while feeling the man’s gaze burning against his skin. He didn’t need to look at him to know he was being looked at. He felt his eyes on him, studying the way he moved as he worked. Taehyung couldn’t concentrate anyways. He was a flustered mess just by the thought that he was desirable to the man.

He hadn’t specified that his work was done, but the customer knew anyways. The second Taehyung moved to take his apron off, he was pushing himself off the wall and moving towards Taehyung. Taehyung stood stock still, wanting him to come nearer. To feel his body pushed up against him. He wanted him.

The head of red hair was barely inches away from his own. He seemed to be giving Taehyung time, to decide what he wanted. When it was clear Taehyung wasn’t going to pull away, the man closed all distance between them.

His pink lips met Taehyung’s and he let out a sigh. As their lips slotted together, Taehyung lost all control of his thoughts, the only thing in his mind was more. The cherry haired man kissed him urgently and fervently, as if he had been wanting to do this for eons. Taehyung gave in to the man’s touch, leaning against the wall as he let him do whatever he desired. He put one inked hand on Taehyung’s chest, and he was gasping for air. This was all too much, too fast but Taehyung wouldn’t rather have it any other way. He was in a daze, blinded by the pleasure, the feeling, having the curious man so close to him.

Small breaths escaped Taehyung as his red fantasy moved lower, placing open mouthed kisses on his neck. Taehyung threw his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, focusing solely on the sensation. The way his lips felt against his skin. Taehyung was desperate for more. His eyes still closed, he reached for the man, wanting to diminish all space between them. As if pulling him closer would get him more. But as soon as his fingers touched the man, something bright and sharp glared in his mind.

He is real. This is a real person. A man. You’re not imagining it. You desire a man.

Taehyung pushed the man off him.

“I’m sorry… I.. can’t… someone like you… sorry…I’m so.. I can’t..”

 He lifted his hands in surrender and mumbled apologies, before rushing out of the restaurant, leaving the cherry headed man alone. He got into his car quickly and sat there, the engine off.

Tonight, he was the one who left. Yet why was he still the one feeling the lingering want, the growing longing?

爱 爱 爱

Something happened in the night between the day before and today. Because today, Taehyung let himself dream, let himself hope, let himself wait for the visitor. He let his mind linger on the mysterious entity as long as it desired. One night’s sleep seemed to have taken away all his fear, all his reluctance, all his guilt. There was no longer war within himself. Only growing want. Growing love.

He was done denying. He was done reasoning. Something last night had made him accept it. That he loved a man, that he desired a man. He found himself spending the whole day awaiting nightfall. Awaiting the man’s unspoken time of appearance. He wanted to give in today. Not hold back a single thing. Wanted to love without being held back, by himself.

The day went torturously slow, as if time had conspired solely to punish Taehyung. He did all his work diligently, but no matter how many bowls of soup he delivered and how many phone calls he received, time didn’t flow any faster. He was physically in the restaurant, but mentally he was with his cherry visitor, lost in his warm eyes.

Eventually night came, after a day of endless sighs. It was almost 12 and the only one left in the restaurant was Taehyung. He was in the kitchen, finishing up, when he was startled by the sound of the bell on the door. It sounded like someone had pushed the door hard, the bell ringing loud. Taehyung rushed out of the kitchen to see the person he was awaiting all day. He was wearing a dark red shirt that made Taehyung feel things.

“Kitchen still open?”

Taehyung just nodded and went inside. He brought him the last bowl of soup. Taehyung had saved it just for him. While he headed towards the table, the bowl in one hand, he picked up the tray of tea with his empty hand. By now, he knew what he liked.

As soon as Taehyung set the bowl on the table, inked fingers reached out and pulled it closer. Then for the first time, the man actually had the soup. He hastily lifted spoonfuls of soup to his lips. Taehyung watched in endearment as the man ate like he hadn’t eaten in ages.

“Hungry today?” Taehyung asked meekly. He had decided he was going to try.

“Oh you have no idea. Do you know how many people I had to… help today?” He replied between spoonfuls. He was so utterly comfortable with Taehyung, it made Taehyung smile. He was so busy admiring the man as he inhaled the food (he must be famished Taehyung thought) that he didn’t catch the pause as he measured his words.

When he was done, the man (Taehyung knew his name, but for some reason never referred to him with it) sat and looked at Taehyung, his head resting on his right hand. Taehyung felt like a teenager in love, being looked at like that. His eyes said so much, it almost hurt Taehyung. He longed to know just what they were saying, all the things he was possibly thinking. Instead he just looked at the his tattooed fingers, too shy to meet his gaze.

Taehyung knew it was getting late, but he didn’t have it in him to tell the man to leave so he could finish up and go home. He slowly got up and his visitor jerked his head towards the kitchen, saying go on. Taehyung didn’t want to leave him. He mustered up all his courage and reached out for his hands. The man, Jungkook, gave in to his touch. Taehyung hoped he couldn’t feel his hand shaking as he led him to the kitchen.

It was slightly similar to the day before, as the red-haired man had watched him do his tasks. He finished locking up the storage and when he came back, Jungkook was leaning against the wall beside the sink. Tonight, he didn’t make a move, waiting instead to see what Taehyung would do. Taehyung was glad. He wanted to do so much.

He closed the distance between them, standing flush against the man in red. Their bodies pressed against each other, their faces a hair’s breadth away. Taehyung almost gave in to the urge to close his eyes, to give in, to let the man take control. But Taehyung wanted to show him something. Tonight, he wanted to be the one to pull him closer, to him he wanted this, wanted him. He wasn’t going to push him away, let him disappear. Tonight he wanted to hold him close.

Taehyung felt urgent but his kiss was soft. Their lips met in a chaste kiss, lips closed but pressure firm. Taehyung’s heart was going crazy, afraid that he would disappear like he did every night, but he was nervous too. His kiss was tentative, unsure if he could go further. It’s not like he had done it before. At least not with a man.

A hand came up to the base of Taehyung’s neck, pulling him closer. The pull gave him the reassurance he needed. He deepened the kiss, parting his lips and pulling. He felt Jungkook exhale through his nose like he was laughing, taken aback but impressed by his actions. If Taehyung’s mind wasn’t running at 100 miles an hour he would have been surprised too. As he hungrily kissed Jungkook, everything got a lot realer. His mind buzzed with the words You’re kissing a man but what once sounded like a warning, an insult, now sounded like an encouragement. This is what he wants. This is who he wants. Him.

Taehyung releases a gasp as Jungkook suddenly takes control. He flips them over, pinning Taehyung against the wall and placing open mouthed kisses on the side of his neck. Taehyung couldn’t help the gasps that escaped his lips. He inhaled sharply when he felt fingers against his chest. Jungkook rested his ringed hand against Taehyung’s chest, stroking ever so slightly. Taehyung closed his eyes gave in. He melted under his touch, letting him do whatever he pleased. He was going to lose his mind if Jungkook went on like this.

When his hand slowly moved lower and lower down his front, Taehyung was already long gone. He wasn’t going to stop Jungkook. Taehyung pulled Jungkook’s face closer for a kiss as he felt his palm against his throbbing dick. The kiss was messier, all saliva and tongue and teeth. Taehyung had no words. He just wanted to tell him how much he wanted this through his kiss.

The voice in his head may have been resembling a siren when he grinded his hips, desperate for the friction, but in his life, nothing had felt more right.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung’s days were different since that day. Not that they weren’t endless chores and hard work. He didn’t just stop working at the restaurant.  He was still toiling away all day, a cog in the machine. But when he lay in bed, and went over his day till sleep came, he didn’t think about what work he had done or what bills are due. His recollection of his day wasn’t all the tasks he had done or not done, or what ingredient they ran out of. When he waited for sleep to come, the only thing that floated in his head were images of his carmine companion.

When he looked back on his day, he just recalled his time spent with Jungkook. He thought of his visits, his eyes, the way he spoke, his blinding smile. He thought of the way his nose scrunched in that adorable way when Taehyung  called him hot out loud. He thought of his inked fingers, the mole on his nose and his love for the restaurant tea. He just thought about him and how much his presence meant to Taehyung.

Taehyung normally preferred to sit across from Jungkook, (he’d try and tell you it’s not because of the amazing view but no one would buy that ) but today, when he moved to sit on the seat opposite to Jungkook, the red-haired man made a small sound. Taehyung looked at him and saw him pat the empty space to his side. Taehyung felt a warmth in his chest as he took a seat beside him, indulging his doe-eyed lover.

At some point, Taehyung had leaned sideways and rested his head on Jungkook’s lap.  He was tired to the bone from his long day and Jungkook’s thighs beneath his head was an explicable comfort. He started running his ringed fingers through Taehyung’s hair idly. The cool metal rings sometimes caught in his curls but he didn’t mind. His ministrations were almost putting Taehyung to sleep. The only way this could feel any more comfortable…

“Tell me a story.”

“hmm?”

“A story. You look like… you know a lot of things.”

Taehyung’s head was sideways on Jungkook’s lap so he couldn’t see the smile that Jungkook’s lips curled in.

“hmmm… there was once a king in great turmoil, because his daughter had been captured by a dragon-“

Taehyung made a small grunt of disapproval, his eyes closed. He shifted a little on Jungkook’s lap.

“Not your type?”

“No.” Taehyung said, not angry just pouting cutely.

Jungkook hummed again. He seemed to be thinking of what to say. Soon he started his story again.

Thousands of years ago, the kingdom of Wei was ruled by King Anxi. The king of Wei was well known among his courtiers and his people. However, he was not a popular person because of his rule or his policies. He was known for his relationships. For his love. For a man.

The king of Wei introduced Lord Long Yang to the world as his best friend, but it wasn’t a secret that bounds of his love for him was beyond those of friendship. Soon, he proudly showed him off to his kingdom as his lover, as his favorite.

One day, the king and his lord shared a fishing boat. Shortly into their trip, Lord Long Yang began to cry. The king asked tenderly why his love wept so.

“Because I caught a fish.” Came the wet answer.

“But why does that make you cry?” the king asked, absolutely confused at his lover’s tears.

“When I caught the fish at first, I was extremely pleased. But afterward I sought a larger fish, so I wanted to throw back the first. Because of this evil act, of human greed, I will be expelled from your bed!” a fresh set of tears sprung to his eyes as he finished his sentence. When he saw that his king was still unsure of his meaning, he wept a bit more, his thoughts spiralling lower.

"There are innumerable beauties in the world. Upon hearing of my receiving your favour, surely they will left up the hems of their robes so that they can hasten to you. I am also a previously caught fish! I will also be thrown back! How can I keep from crying?"

The King was furious. Whoever dared to bring tears to his lover’s eyes? He seethed at the thought and hugged Lord Long Yang. He announced to the world that “Anyone who dares speak of other beauties will be handed the heads of their loved ones"

Taehyung snuggled closer to Jungkook’s lap, moving to get comfortable. He was in that space between sleep and consciousness. He smiled as the story ended. It was a beautiful story, even if the ending was slightly morbid. He drifted off to sleep, happy and comfortable. His dreams were all the shades of red.

爱 爱 爱

"What do you do? Like… work?" Taehyung asked one night. He had realised that he barely knew anything about the rose coloured man.

"I... help people. It's a lot of work really."

"Oh like... a doctor?"

"No," he chuckles lightly. "More like a non-profit? I just try and help people to the best of my abilities. Sometimes it doesn't work out... Those days I'm really tired... And hungry." he says, taking a big spoonful of his soup.

"Oh that's so sweet. Today was a hard day?"

Jungkook nods solemnly. 

"It really hurts me... when I can't help. I just... don't like seeing people go through what I did. It drains me." he says, his expression pained.

Taehyung knows better than to prod. He didn't want to make him anymore upset than he already was. Taehyung tucked away his curiosity for another day, when he could ask Jungkook what exactly he helped with. 

爱 爱 爱

“What do those mean? The symbols?” Taehyung dared one night. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and he couldn’t hold back. His eyes lingered on the ink as he asked his question.

“These?” Jungkook asked, wiggling his ringed fingers.

Taehyung nodded.

“This one,” he touched his right ring finger, “means love.” His finger moves to his index. “This one is prosperity.” He points to a finger on his left hand now. “…immortality, and this one… death.”

Taehyung can’t take his eyes off his fingers. Knowing the meanings of the symbols… they felt a lot more important. A lot more intimidating. Another thing about Jungkook that he was impossibly intrigued by.

Taehyung still had a lot of questions, but he could only manage one.

“Why death?”

Jungkook gave him a pained smile as an answer.

爱 爱 爱

Ting~ Ting~ Ting~

Eyes closed, Taehyung could only hear the sounds of the leaking tap and the twinkling windchime. And the sound of Jungkook breathing. Other than that, the restaurant was completely silent. Of course it would be, it was somewhere around 3 at night. Taehyung seemed to lose track of time when he was with Jungkook. Sometimes minutes stretched to feel like eternities and hours felt as short as a breath.

Even though it was deadly silent, an ungodly hour, Taehyung felt an unnatural calm, a warm safety in Jungkook’s arms. He sat leaning against the damp wall beside the sink as Taehyung dozed on his lap. Jungkook patted Taehyung hair, a motion that soothed them both. Taehyung loved this. To anyone else, it would feel murky, and creepy - sitting beside a dripping tap against wall with paint chipping off. But to Taehyung, it was a luxury. A moment he would cherish. A time spent well with his love.

“Tell me a story.”

Jungkook hummed. He had learnt about Taehyung’s love for his stories, and they often spent time like this, with Taehyung half-asleep on his lap and Jungkook telling him stories from memory.

During the Han Dynasty, a young emperor Ali fell in love with a man named Dong Xian.

They became secret lovers, stealing away into the night to be with each other.

They spent their nights in the arms of their lover, moonlight illuminating their nocturnal outings. Their love blossomed like the Kadupul flower under the starry night sky, beautiful with its intoxicating scent, only to wither by morning, before the first ray of sunlight.

One early morning, the emperor woke to find Dong Xian still sleeping in his arms. The emperor had to depart, but could not bear to disturb his lover asleep on his robes. The emperor took his blade and cut off the sleeves of his most precious royal robe, then quietly slipped away, leaving his lover to his dreams.”

Taehyung may have been sleepy, but he always listened keenly to Jungkook’s tales. He felt a different kind of realness in them, that kept him hooked, always hungry for more. When his story ended, Taehyung felt like a light bulb went ting in his head.

“Is that why-”

Jungkook smiled and hummed in affirmation.

It made so much sense. But then it didn’t. Taehyung had always heard the word cut-sleeve in a negative, insulting tone. The story was so – pure. So beautiful. People must’ve distorted it for ages, turning the beautiful love story into a slang used by people who look down upon love unlike theirs.

Taehyung wanted to debate, to fight. Something in him told him to fix this. To make known to the world the fascinating origin of the word. But his urge was overpowered by sleep. On Jungkook’s lap with his fingers in his hair, and the sound of his breaths, Taehyung couldn’t resist the sleep that came. He closed his eyes, deciding to fight another day.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung closed the car door shut with a click. The inside of the car smelled – good. Very different, sure, but good. He rested his hand on the steering wheel subconsciously before turning his head to see Jungkook in the front seat, something like a cigarette in his mouth. Taehyung opened his mouth to say something, but Jungkook beat him to it.

“It’s not dangerous, trust me.” He assured, smoke escaping his lips as he spoke.

Taehyung trusted him. He realized the smell was from whatever Jungkook was smoking. It was a smell like… spices. As if someone had lit a cinnamon star-anise candle in the car. The car was warm, but in a good way. Taehyung leaned over and put on the radio.

He twisted the nob and went back and forth between channels before settling for a familiar song. Jungkook quirked an eyebrow and looked at Taehyung, curious.

“He’s one of my favourite jazz singers. He calls himself V.”

Jungkook just nodded and paid attention back to the song. Taehyung studied his face, and deduced that he liked the song. He was glad. Stigma was one of his new favourite songs.

With good music in the background, the two boys spent hours in the car, parked in the alley beside the restaurant. They talked about everything and nothing, even their moments of silence were familiar and comfortable. They had come to ‘stargaze’ but neither had looked at the sky yet. Taehyung could look up at the sky and the see the stars in the bright night sky. But he didn’t. He only had eyes for Jungkook. He looked sideways and his heart practically ached at how much he had started to feel for the man.

He was the brightness in his life, the colour in his grey day full of chores. He was a breath of fresh air in his tiring life, a release after being coiled tight like a spring all day. He was so many things to Jungkook, literally and figuratively. He was — love.

Taehyung didn’t hate his life before Jungkook, but he knew it wasn’t the best. He knew that it lacked something. He had just accepted that the restaurant was the most important thing in his life. When Jungkook entered his life like a drop of chili oil in a white soup, it was something shockingly different. He was a bright red contrast, bizarre and foreign in his pale life. But it merely took a stir and he was a part of his life, making it a shade brighter. Jungkook had blended into his life, become so integrated that it would be near impossible to separate him, to find a part of Taehyung’s life where Jungkook didn’t exist. Taehyung didn’t mind it one bit.

At some point, Taehyung had started feeling intoxicated. It wasn’t like being high (not like he would know, but he figured it would probably be different from this). He felt a strange bout of courage, and recklessness. He wanted to drown in Jungkook, in all of his red entirety. His eyes came back to focus to see Jungkook looking back at him.

“You’re thinking very loudly.” He said softly, an endeared smile on his face.

Taehyung didn’t reply. He just slowly placed his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, pulling him closer. The two boys now faced each other, the only thing separating them being the gearshift in the middle. Taehyung moved his hand from his shoulder to the base of his neck. Jungkook fluttered his eyes shut as Taehyung leaned in and touched their lips.

Taehyung liked the way their lips slotted together, like pieces of a puzzle. He tilted his slightly to the side and suddenly he couldn’t help but smile. Jungkook must’ve felt the smile on his own lips because he moved back a bit and lifted his brows.

“I just… remembered the first time this happened.” He explained, a nervous huff escaping his lips.

Jungkook’s gaze softened in nostalgia of a sort. He smiled and said, “What about it?”

“I was so … scared.” Taehyung admitted, again releasing a nervous laugh.

“Why?” he asked, not offended or cruel but… curious.

“It just felt so…” Taehyung didn’t want to say ‘wrong’. “… criminal. I felt like I was doing something forbidden and… liking it… too much.” He explained, a faint blush creeping on to his cheeks.

“Why do you think you felt that way?”

Taehyung felt like Jungkook already knew the answer but wanted to hear Taehyung say it. He didn’t mind. “Because… we’re both guys and… it just felt like something that wasn’t the norm. I felt like I was breaking some… unspoken rule.”

Jungkook’s face didn’t change. He was still smiling, understanding, his face still just inches away. “What about now? Doesn’t it feel wrong right now?”

Taehyung felt like he was being interrogated. He hadn’t mentioned the word ‘wrong’ even once. The word felt very harsh. And did not apply to anything regarding Jungkook. He shook his head. “Jungkook, it feels so… right. So real. It feels like … I was caged and didn’t know it until… you… you kissed me. Freed me. I – ”

Taehyung didn’t get to finish his sentence because Jungkook pulled him in for a kiss. His kiss was hot and wet and fiery. He could taste the leftovers of whatever he was smoking before. It wasn’t smoky. More like, a warm spicy taste. Taehyung let him kiss him hungrily, to devour him. Nothing could make him feel the way his lips did, the way Jungkook did. It made heat swoop low in Taehyung stomach and made him feel so, so good. He loved this boy so much. This could never be wrong.

Taehyung leaned into Jungkook and at some point, shifted over to the passenger seat. He couldn’t remember if he went on his own or if Jungkook pulled him over but he was happy that he was now sitting on Jungkook’s lap, each of his knees on either side of his thighs. Taehyung placed a kiss along Jungkook’s jaw. Jungkook threw his head back against the headrest of the seat, giving Taehyung easier access to his broad neck. He trailed kisses down his red-haired lover’s neck, sucking and licking, eliciting little sounds from him. Taehyung was overtaken by an unnatural courage. He wanted him. All of him.

He held onto Jungkook like a lifeline, a hand at the base of his neck and the other fisted in his red hair. He had lifted his head back up to Jungkook’s face, now kissing him deeply, urgently. He tasted that spice again (what was it? It tasted vaguely like cloves) and felt a need to taste more, to figure it out. It tasted almost foreign, and when Taehyung sucked lightly at Jungkook’s tongue, the red-haired man let out a laugh.

Taehyung’s hands travelled down his front, making quick work of Jungkook’s buttons. He was up to 3 when Jungkook’s hand found his. Not really forbidding but, warning. Taehyung intertwined his hands with Jungkook’s. If he wasn’t ready, Taehyung wouldn’t cross that line. Jungkook seemed to have changed his mind because after a few moments of hesitation, he placed Taehyung’s hand on his chest. Taehyung’s palm lay against Jungkook’s bare chest, over the bit of skin he had revealed.

“Can I..?”

“Yeah… yeah just… don’t be scared.”

Taehyung didn’t understand. He just nodded but wondered why he should be scared. What was he going to be scared of? A man’s chest? He finished the 5^th button and pushed some fabric aside. That’s when he saw it.

He wasn’t scared. Surprised sure. But not scared. He was more – intrigued. Awed. It was so – divine. It seemed almost too important, too sacred to touch. He desperately wanted to touch, to feel the ridges under his touch, but he was unsure.

“Can I… touch?”

Jungkook just nodded.

“It doesn’t… hurt?”

Jungkook shook his head surely.

Taehyung rested a tentative hand on the skin. They looked like letters. Symbols, imitating the ones inked on his fingers. They were raised lines on his chest, scars formed many, many years ago. Taehyung could tell they were old, because they resembled his own scars from countless kitchen incidents. He kept his touch light, just in case it did hurt and Jungkook just didn’t tell him. He wanted to revere these symbols. He didn’t know what they meant, or what they were for, but the raised scars felt like something sacred under his skin and he was so grateful that Jungkook trusted him enough to let him touch. To share this with him.

For some reason, Taehyung felt greedy when he wanted to lean down and kiss the symbols. He felt like he was wanting too much. He should be content with just seeing them, just touching them. Another day. Maybe someday he would get the chance to worship the symbols like they should be. Tonight he let his hand go lower, past the intricate ridges on his chest, to the waistband of his jeans. He let his fingers play a bit, giving Jungkook small touches along the skin right above. Then he moved onto the actual work, his fingers moving to the metal button of his jeans.

“Tae- ” Jungkook asked in between pants, his eyebrows furrowed.

Taehyung looked up.

“Don’t you think this would be- ” Jungkook broke off when Taehyung straightened a bit, his face a hair’s breadth away from his own. “ -better in the back seat?”

Taehyung would never know how Jungkook managed to keep a level head during times like this.

爱 爱 爱

The view from the roof was a spectacular one. They were waiting for the meteor shower. Taehyung’s head was on Jungkook’s arm, and his hand was on his chest. He was tracing the letters on his skin through his shirt. Taehyung wished he could live in that moment forever, the cool summer night, silence except each other’s breaths, lying in Jungkook’s arms.

As Jungkook played with his hair, Taehyung was starting to doze off. He was so comfortable, it was only a matter of seconds before he gave in to sleep. It was when a yawn escaped him, that he realised he might fall asleep without watching the meteor shower.

“I don’t wanna fall asleep without seeing it, stop being so comfy,” he poked Jungkook in the side.

“Roll away then I’m not stopping you,” came the reply as Jungkook hugged him closer.

Taehyung struggled against his grip, making mock faces of discomfort. He frees a hand and attacks Jungkook’s biggest weakness.

“Ah ah please no… ah… tae please let me gooo..” Jungkook pleads between giggles and cries, letting go of Taehyung and try to defend himself from his attacks. He clutches his stomach but Taehyung keeps tickling him, getting great joy from torturing his lover. Jungkook scrunches his nose and tries to act indifferent but it only lasts 2 seconds before he’s collapsing into laughter again. The boys spend a few moments like this, Jungkook a red blur writhing away from Taehyung’s merciless hands and Tae’s black fluffy hair bouncing as he laughs and his mouth forms a cute boxy smile.

They eventually calm back down, sighing and still laughing but now settling down again for the main event of the night. A few minutes pass and Taehyung’s sleepy again.

“Tell me a story”

Jungkook starts right away, not taking the 3-4 minutes he usually takes to recall a tale. His tone is also a lot more… relaxed, like he’s talking about a day in his life and not telling a story.

“Long ago, in the Qing Dynasty, a young soldier fell in love with a handsome official. He was sentenced to death for professing his longing for another man. When his spirit travelled to the Underworld, the soldier’s crime was forgiven as one of passion and he was ordained The Rabbit God. The god of forbidden love. The god now travels through eternity, answering prayers of taboo love.”

Taehyung felt a chill run down his spine. He had been laying still for a while and his leg was starting to get numb, but he didn’t dare do anything. He was waiting for Jungkook to continue.

Jungkook was looking up at the sky, eyes unfocused. He took a long pause before going on with his story.

“He adorned himself in red. Chose it to be his symbol. It was his favourite colour. The colour of passion. The colour of courage. The colour of love. My whole entire being… is red.”

Taehyung looked up from Jungkook’s lap. He had never felt his heart beat so fast.

He looked up to see nothing. His hand rested on the shirt Jungkook was wearing, beneath his head was the sleeve, but inside the clothes, there was no Jungkook. Taehyung was just left with Jungkook’s clothes retaining his form, holding their shape seemingly by magic.

And with questions. So, so many questions.

爱 爱 爱

The next day was torture. He tried to keep working so that he didn’t have time to be lost in thought, but when he had even a minute’s leisure, the millions of questions creeped back into his mind.

He scrubbed the sink as he thought of the first time he had seen Jungkook, the way he’d looked almost ethereal. How Jungkook had given off a foreign, almost magical aura. It made sense to him now, but he was still confused.

When he washed the dishes, the questions in his mind multiplied exponentially, one question leading to 3 more new ones, Taehyung eventually getting frustrated and leaving the dishes for later. He wanted to be mad at Jungkook but he wasn’t sure for what. He didn’t even know Jungkook enough to be mad at him.

When he wasn’t stuck in his head, it was his heart. He missed Jungkook. So much. He had grown so used to him, that one night without him felt like the loneliest night of his life. He sat on the table that Jungkook liked and closed his eyes, hoping for him to appear, but when he opened his eyes, there was an empty seat in front of him and his cup of tea.

Sleep wouldn’t come. Instead, the lids of his eyes showed him red. He couldn’t close them without memories of Jungkook flashing by, and when he opened them, he wished he would see him beside him. He twisted and turned in bed but when he knew it was useless, he went to the roof and looked up at the sky.

It was beautiful. The sky was bright with a million stars. Taehyung had never seen stars cluster like this, the sky was extremely clear. He closed his eyes and sat in the cool night breeze. When he opened them again, he saw a streak across his vision. He rubbed his eyes but there it was again, a star shooting across the sky, leaving behind a white trail.

He looked at his phone and… the reminder for the meteor shower popped up in his notifications. It was today?

That explains why they kept waiting and waiting the day before but nothing happened. He leaned back on his palms and looked up at the sky. As star after star shot across the night sky, the view was mesmerising. But Taehyung wasn’t having fun at all.

It would’ve been so much better if Jungkook was here.

爱 爱 爱

Day after day passed, yet there was no sign of Jungkook. Taehyung hadn’t seen him since the night on the roof. No matter how many times he sat on their table or waited near the sink, Jungkook wouldn’t come. He stood outside the shop one day and hoped that he would spot him somewhere, leaning on a lamppost or sitting on the sidewalk but no luck. Taehyung didn’t know how to feel.

He was sad sure. He missed Jungkook immensely. But on some days, he found it extremely hard not to be mad. At first he was considerate, understanding that he might’ve panicked, and had reason not to tell Taehyung. But to disappear like this? For days on end? As time went one, he stopped holding his feelings back. He cussed him out in his head. He decided never to see him again. Never to forgive him. One night he sat in his car and just honked the horn. The anger got to him, anger for so many reasons. He was angry at Jungkook for not telling him who he was. For leaving that night with no explanation. For being gone for so long.

Once the anger died down came the tears. Every time. He felt helpless. And he felt lonely. Fucking loser. Why’d he leave after Taehyung fell for him like that. Did Jungkook not miss him? Sometimes, he fell asleep crying, imagining Jungkook never coming back and Taehyung waiting for him forever like the lovesick idiot that he is. His dreams were full of red but they always turned black near the end.

爱 爱 爱

Taehyung’s feet dangled off the edge. The sky was pretty. All shades of orange and coral and pink bleeding into each other with the red sun setting behind the city skyline. Birds flew home, returning to their awaiting loved ones. The breeze was getting cooler and his mind was clear.

Not really clear. More like, blurry. 11 days. He had gone through every emotion over a dozen times, asked himself every question in every possible way. He was tired. He was drained. His head wasn’t chaotic. It was muddled. He couldn’t separate thoughts from one another and if he took a look inside, it would probably look like static.

Tired eyes looked off into the horizon, waiting for the sun to set and for the chef to call him down for the dinner rush. His mind trailed off onto the dishes he had left to wash and that he needed to buy dishwashing liq-

“Pretty sunset.”

His train off thought is interrupted by the statement. The voice belongs to none other than Jungkook. He’d recognise that voice anywhere. He doesn’t look to his right, he can see the red out of the corner of his eye. He keeps his eyes trained on the setting sun.

“Look I’m…”

Taehyung’s heart was in his throat, awaiting what Jungkook had to say. He hears a swish sound, and then felt a head on his shoulder. He released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding at feeling the weight of his body leaning on him. A confirmation that it was real, that Jungkook was actually right there, like all the times he had imagined.

“I’m sorry I left you like that. I… didn’t know what to do. I’m a coward.”

Taehyung said nothing, his eyes still on the sun, now almost covered by the buildings. It was painfully silent, all he heard was his own heartbeat and the sound of Jungkook breathing, thinking of what to say.

“I fell in love once, and the result was a death sentence. It… I didn’t think it would happen again.”

Taehyung finds Jungkook’s hand, holding it in his lap.

“I still remember the day, standing in front of the whole troop, the man I was in love with condemning me to death. The disgust in his eyes, the way he spat out my name. When I told you about it last night… It all came back to me and I panicked and I just…”

“I’m sorry Taehyung… I’m a coward. When I realised I’d just given away my identity to you, it felt like that day all over again. I went back to the Jungkook of that day hundreds of years ago. I was terrified that I’d be punished. That I would be separated from the one I love all over again. But when I went back to the underworld, i remembered who I was.”

“I’m not the human Jungkook anymore. I’m Tu'er Shen. And I forget that sometimes, because I still feel like the Jungkook I was and not some god. But when I acknowledge who I am, I remember that…”

Jungkook pauses, the words seemingly caught in his throat. Taehyung’s mind was reeling, but this wasn’t about him. He held Jungkook’s hand a bit tighter, reassuring. He really hoped it helped.

“I’m immortal Taehyung.”

“And the thought that one day you will die and I’ll be alone again, I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t imagine losing my lover like that again. And it wasn’t fair on you. I felt terrible.”

Jungkook’s voice sounds a lot smaller when he continues.

“So I hid. Like a coward. I avoided you and all thoughts of you. I thought I could forget you. That if I left now, I’d be less attached and it would hurt less – for both of us. But you…”

Jungkook moved closer, clutching Taehyung’s side.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you Taehyung. I missed you. So much.”

“I don’t know what to do now. I don’t what’s the right thing to do. I… Taehyung what do we do?”

Taehyung’s heart clenched at the way Jungkook asked, his voice small and helpless. This was so different from the confident, intimidating Jungkook he had seen the first time. Taehyung let go of Jungkook’s hand, turning to face him. He took his face in his hands gently, holding him close. He touched their foreheads and closed his eyes.

“I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry Taehyung.”

“I know you are.”

“I just wish- ”

“I don’t.”

“Wha- ”

“I don’t wish things were different. I wouldn’t rather have you be any other way.”

They open their eyes together, and Taehyung hopes Jungkook understands what he means. Hopes Jungkook doesn’t feel like apologising for who he is. Jungkook hugs him, so tight Taehyung almost can’t breathe. But it’s fine. It makes up for 11 days worth of hugs he didn’t get.

“Although I wouldn’t mind if you hadn’t disappeared for almost 2 weeks straight with no explanation whatsoever.”

Jungkook buried his head deeper in Taehyung’s shoulder and laughed. Taehyung looked up at the sky, now turning blue and prayed to whatever god that would listen that they figured something out. He never wanted to part with Jungkook again.