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Ganju didn't even realize the sun had come up.
He just knew that he was sitting in the hall, dazed and unmoving, as Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko and his sister rushed back and forth. He remembered the body, his big brother's lifeless body, soaked in blood and marred by stab wounds and slashes. He remembered cold, unfeeling eyes, the words, I killed Kaien Shiba, and, most curiously, the grateful smile on his brother's face.
As dawn broke, things calmed down, the house falling quiet. Then, there was a knock on the door, followed by Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko's thunderous footsteps. Ganju raised his head, straining his ears as the Shibas' twin guards greeted whomever was at the door, before they left for Kūkaku's room.
"—Captain Ukitake of Squad Thirteen—" he just barely heard Koganehiko say.
Ganju's blood ran cold — was the captain of Squad Thirteen here to finish off the rest of the Shibas? Kaien had always told Ganju about how kind Captain Ukitake was… but Kaien probably believed the Shinigami woman who slayed him was kind, too.
Standing, Ganju ran down the hall, nearly tripping on his own feet, and rushed into his room. He pulled the door shut behind him, then dove under the covers of his futon. (His futon which was still out from the night before — what would have happened, Ganju wondered, if he had been a good boy and decided not to sneak out the night before? Either way… Kaien would still be dead.)
Cautiously poking his head out from beneath the covers, Ganju listened, but from this distance, he couldn't hear anything… until, finally, the unmistakable sound of Kūkaku chewing someone out reached his ears. Even though Ganju couldn't make the words out, he could tell just from her tone that this wasn't like all the times she let Kaien have it for doing something stupid — no, this was sharper, harsher.
Then, there was silence — or at least, nothing Ganju could make out — followed by footsteps. Once he was certain the danger of imminent death had passed, he crawled out from underneath the covers and left his room, his feet carrying him down the hall toward his sister's room. He came to an abrupt stop when he heard an unfamiliar sound.
His sister, sobbing.
Ganju swallowed thickly. Kūkaku was one of the toughest people he knew, maybe even one of the toughest in the whole Soul Society. He had never heard her cry, not once in his whole life, not even when they lost their parents — though Ganju had been so young at the time, he probably wouldn't have remembered.
His lower lip trembled, as he was reminded of how just a few hours ago, he cried for what felt like forever, until his lungs ached and his eyes were left scratchy and dry.
The sound then abruptly stopped, before Kūkaku's door slid open. His sister poked her head out, her hair messier than usual and her eyes red-rimmed.
"Ganju," she said, voice hoarse and devoid of energy.
-
"Captain Ukitake of Squad Thirteen is here," Koganehiko said soberly. "He wishes to speak with you."
Kūkaku ran a hand through her hair, took a deep breath, then marched to the front door. She flung the door open to find Captain Ukitake standing before her, haggard-looking and blood staining his haori.
"What do you want?" Kūkaku said tightly.
"I wanted to provide an explanation," he answered, his voice hoarse.
Kūkaku crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm listening."
Ukitake proceeded to recount the events of the previous night, from Miyako's death, to Kaien's hunt for the Hollow that killed his wife, the destruction of his Zanpakutō, the Hollow's possession of him, and finally, the mercy killing at the hands of one Rukia Kuchiki — the Shinigami who had dragged Kaien's body home.
When he was finished, Kūkaku looked Ukitake in the eyes and said, "And you let him fight that thing alone?"
Ukitake closed his eyes and nodded, his dark brows furrowed and his mouth forming a deep, mournful frown.
"Let me get this straight," Kūkaku said, her tone dark. "You let my brother die… you let the Shiba clan lose another one of its own… all because you thought his pride was worth more than his fucking life?! "
Ukitake flinched, so subtly Kūkaku wasn't even sure she had seen it, then slowly opened his eyes. "I have no excuses," he quietly answered. "I know my apology will never be enough to right this wrong—"
Before she could think things through — a trait hardwired into the genetic code of every member of the Shiba clan — Kūkaku slapped Ukitake across the face.
She wasn't stupid, Ukitake was one of the oldest and strongest captains of the entire Gotei Thirteen, and she knew he probably didn't even feel her slap — not physically, at least — but… dammit, it made her feel just a tiny bit better. Sure, he was hurting from the loss of Kaien, as well, but in her eyes, he lost a subordinate — she lost family.
He didn't utter a word, not even when Kūkaku turned around and shut the door in his face. She stormed down the hall, heading to her room without even realizing. She closed the door behind herself, took a deep, shaky breath, and…
"Shit," she muttered, as the first big, fat tears rolled down her cheeks — tears she hoped she could take to the grave, unshed.
For several moments, she stood there, head bowed and fists clenched, as sob after sob escaped her. In the back of her head, she could hear Kaien telling her that she didn't cry enough, that there was no shame in letting it all out every now and then… but no, not anymore, not with the responsibility she now carried on her shoulders. Speaking of responsibilities…
Oh, shit. Where's Ganju?
Scrubbing her cheeks dry with the back of her hand, she stepped over to the door and pulled it open, then poked her head out. Ganju was standing just outside her door, somehow looking smaller than usual, dark circles under his eyes. The kid couldn't seem to make eye contact with her, his lower lip trembling.
"Ganju," she said, her voice thick and strained.
Several seconds passed, as Ganju just stood there. Finally, Kūkaku pulled the door open further and said, "C'mon, when was the last time you slept?"
The usually energetic and reckless Ganju took tiny, careful steps into Kūkaku's room. Kūkaku frowned — her little brother was supposed to be running around, being the annoying twerp he was, not… shambling around like a walking corpse.
She herded him on to her futon, throwing the blanket over him.
"Sis?" he said, his normally loud voice small and tired.
"Yeah?" Kūkaku said, sitting on the floor next to him.
"Why'd the Shinigami… why did they…" he trailed off, unable to even put it into words.
Kūkaku figured that if she were a nicer person, she would tell Ganju everything Ukitake had told her — that it wasn't the Shinigami that were responsible for their brother's death, but a mere Hollow.
But, no… Kūkaku knew how were little brother could be — if she told him the about the Hollow, he would head off to Shin'o Academy as soon as he was old enough, and probably end up in a seated position within the Gotei Thirteen after graduating, hellbent on killing every Hollow he could find until he found some semblance of peace… or died trying.
The Shiba clan had lost enough already.
"Shinigami arrogance," Kūkaku finally answered — and, well, it wasn't necessarily a lie.
Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Ganju closed his eyes, and within moments, he was fast asleep.