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Sukuna doesn’t know what the hell is going on.
Megumi has been avoiding him. There are questions that just won’t leave his mind, no matter how hard he tries. He wonders if he did anything wrong at all for Megumi to act this way. Did he? Did he do wrong? Did he do something that Megumi hates? Did he cross the line? Did he annoy Megumi? What did he do?
Really.
They were doing just fine until this. And he knows, he knows they can’t just stay like this forever. They need to talk. He needs to know what really happened.
“Megumi,” Sukuna calls out.
The snow begins to fall harder.
Megumi stands up from the park bench and Sukuna notices the way Megumi startles for a moment as if he wasn’t expecting to see him here. That, or he just didn’t want to see him.
“Sukuna,” Megumi confirms, “what are you doing here?”
Sukuna stares at Megumi in disbelief. “You haven’t been in the dorm since afternoon. I thought you said there’s something you need to buy but what, it’s almost midnight and you’re just… here?”
“Right,” Megumi mutters, averting his gaze to the side. “I have to go now then, if you’ll excuse me.”
There, he’s doing it again.
Sukuna clenches his teeth, witnessing Megumi walk past him. He turns to grab Megumi’s wrist and restrains the male from taking his leave. “Megumi.”
Megumi grabs the back of Sukuna’s hand and puts it down, still averting his gaze to the side. “What?”
“No, don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“You’re avoiding me, fuck’s sake.”
“I’m not avoiding you.”
“You are.”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah? You didn’t even let me touch you. What, are you disgusted of me or something?”
Megumi eyes Sukuna. “That's not true.”
Sukuna scoffs. He really hates fighting with Megumi, he really does. But this whole thing that Megumi has been doing is exhausting. Anyone would lose it. “Well, I don’t know with you anymore.”
“We need…” Megumi falters, looking down, but eventually eyes Sukuna once again, “We need to talk.”
Sukuna waits for Megumi to continue.
“I just think we need to end this.”
“End what?"
“...Us.”
Sukuna relapses into silence. There’s a pang of pain in his chest and for a moment, he doesn’t know if he heard that right. Or maybe he’s just denying the fact that he did hear it right. It came out of nowhere. He wasn’t ready, nor will he ever be. He’s losing Megumi, there’s never a day he would ever be ready for that. He knows Megumi felt the same way about him, too. Until Megumi finally said that.
“Are you breaking up with me?” is all Sukuna can say.
“Yeah,” Megumi tells.
Sukuna stands there, not knowing what to do.
Why. The one and only question that keeps knocking the back of his brain. This is way too sudden. Sukuna doesn’t get it. He’s starting to think that maybe he did do wrong, after all. Maybe he did something that Megumi hates. Maybe he did cross the line. Maybe he did annoy Megumi. Before he knows it, he’s taking all the blame.
No, Sukuna just doesn’t get it.
“What the hell was that?” Sukuna retaliates.
“I can’t do this,” Megumi rasps.
Sukuna still doesn’t get it. “Where is this coming from?”
“I...” Megumi hesitates, “I just can’t do this.”
“You don’t mean that,” Sukuna tries to convince, desperation in his voice, “Come on, talk to me. What’s going on?”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Megumi says.
Sukuna doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to do. What should he say to change Megumi’s mind? What should he do to make him stay? “Megumi—”
Megumi heaves a sigh. “I told you, there’s nothing to talk about.”
“What, you want to end this without reasons?” Sukuna expected more from Megumi. “That’s just low, don’t you think?”
“Look, people are already talking about us. You’re…” Megumi hesitates again, “You’re Sukuna, have you forgotten that? I can’t be with you.”
Oh.
So that’s why.
Sukuna scowls. “Who the fuck cares?”
“What do you even understand?!” Megumi raises his voice. “You can just ignore what they say. I’m not you, though. It’s not easy and I hate to admit it but they’re right. This... us. It’s wrong. We shouldn’t even be together. Did that ever occur to you? Because I think about it every day, Sukuna. You have no idea how much I regret the things we did. You have no idea how much I hate myself for it...”
The answer is no. No, it didn’t ever occur to Sukuna. Any of that doesn’t matter anymore when he’s with Megumi. Any of that. The reality that he is a curse and that Megumi is a sorcerer or that they're wrong for each other, he doesn’t care. He loves Megumi and he only cares about Megumi. So no, it didn’t ever occur to him.
But he sees where Megumi is coming from.
This must be too much for him and Sukuna gets that.
“So this is it?” Sukuna ensures. “Just like this?”
“I—” Megumi sighs a heavy, melancholic sound. It was as though the past couple months they were together had just caught up to him and he seemed disheartened. “It’s time to end this. For good.” For a second, he looks like he would say something else, and at one point Sukuna is hoping, just hoping that Megumi would take everything back but at the last second he doesn’t. “I’m sorry.”
Sukuna struggles for the right words to ask what he wants to know. What has been pestering him since Megumi first spoke about breaking up but only five words made it past his lips, “Do you even love me?” The words seem stuck in his throat, but he knows he has to ask again. Even though it’d be an obvious answer, he pushes out the words, “Do you? Just say you don’t and I’ll let you go.” He searches for Megumi’s gaze, yearning to seek the truth, hell, even a lie would do.
Knowing that he isn’t loved would make this breakup easier.
Megumi grits his teeth. “You asshole, you know I do.”
Sukuna forces a smile. Megumi wants to end this and he can’t at the very least lie about that and make this easier for him? “Who’s the asshole here right now, actually?”
“Sukuna…” Megumi softens his eyes.
Sukuna doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t say anything. He isn’t mad at Megumi. Not at all. Just hurt. Megumi reaches his hand to Sukuna’s face and caresses his cheek with the edge of his thumb. He sincerely looks Sukuna in the eyes, his gaze betraying everything he has been striving to hide from him: pain, regret, and something much deeper than that. Without warning, he gently locks their lips, kissing him.
Sukuna is surprised and frozen beneath Megumi’s lips for a few moments until it hits him that Megumi is really kissing him. And Sukuna tries his best to resist. They just broke up a few seconds ago, didn’t they? They shouldn’t be doing this anymore. He doesn’t give a shit if this is a goodbye kiss or whatever the fuck, he’s too hurt to do this right now.
Megumi’s tongue conquers the depths of Sukuna’s mouth, passionate, consuming, pulling Sukuna into the warmth of him. Adrenaline rush. So much of it that Sukuna nearly loses control. As if no one else existed and there was no risk of this, of them, Sukuna gives in, curling his hand at the back of Megumi’s head and pulling him closer, kissing back.
If this is really the last time they would kiss, maybe he shouldn’t have resisted at all, Sukuna decides. When is he going to have this opportunity again? Never, with the way things are now. He continues to kiss Megumi back, unable to see the end of it. The taste of Megumi is unfurling all his senses, nearly silencing all his thoughts.
And somehow, in a moment of vulnerability, Megumi manages to pull away from their kiss, breathing heavily, fanning upon Sukuna’s lips.
Megumi presses their forehead. “I wish things were much simpler but this, has to end here.”
Sukuna can only look at Megumi, catching his breath. Megumi leans closer again for another kiss but halts, clenching his teeth, his hand grabbing Sukuna’s shoulders.
“I should,” he croaks, “I’m going to take a walk. Alone.”
Then Sukuna stands there in the middle of the intersection and watches Megumi slowly slip from his grasp, drifting farther and farther and farther until he can’t see him anymore.
Everything rushes back in a matter of seconds. Memories, flashbacks, all barreling at him, all at once. Their first kiss, the day they met, their dates, a reminiscence from a couple of seconds ago. Sukuna stays there, clinging onto everything they once had. It hurts and piles up inside of him, making it difficult to breathe. Things long past but things he wishes, with every ounce of his being, that he could relive.
It’s ridiculous how he can feel this much for a person. Never would he have thought. That’s just how Megumi was, that Sukuna knows now. He showed things Sukuna never knew, ever since the first day they met, and Sukuna suddenly wants Megumi to come back. Hopes for him to come back. So he can tell him. He wants to find Megumi again, to shout at him. I love you, you fucking dumbass.
But if this is what Megumi wants.
He needs to let go.
So he does.