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Cherry Blossom Tree in Miya-san’s Home

Summary:

It was when he just turned 65. I was 16 and my sister was 14. I asked him, not about the reason he measured our height, but

“Miya-san, why do you wear so many rings?”

He always got these two pairs of silver rings. Two on his ring fingers, one on his right index finger, and one on his left thumb.

“It was my late partner’s... I use it as well so I won't lose it” he said.

“How many partners do you have, Miya-san?” I joked. That time, right after I said that, I thought it was an inappropriate joke and I should’ve not said it. But Miya-san just laughed

Notes:

Home is formed from emotional labour in the formation and continuation of the most intimate personal relationships (Clapham, 2005).

I hope you could pay attention to every little detail of the story.

Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The old man who lives across from my home just passed away this morning. At least that’s when he was found sleeping peacefully in his garden. Seems like the cold wind from early October lulled him too deep.

My sister and I used to go to his house all the time. The man was in his late 50s when we first met him, but we can tell he's a handsome man. He even once told us that he stopped going to the senior gathering from our neighborhood because he can't stand the flirting from the others. My sister and I laughed at his statement at the time. We thought he was joking and just making up excuses from going to the seniors’ exercise routine. But now that I see all these senior ladies crying on his deathbed, I believe him.

We call him Miya-san. He was such a kind man. The first time we came across him was when he was watering his garden. He greeted us and offered us an onigiri. Now, my mother always told us not to take the offer of a stranger. But Miya-san wasn't a stranger, he gives us onigiris and sometimes other cooking to our house. He's a very good neighbor.

I remember it was tuna mayo onigiri. How can I forget about the best onigiri I've ever tasted in my life. He smiled so sweetly when we said his onigiri is the best. From that day we often visited his house since he always said he made too much rice and could make us some onigiri.

We usually spend our time in his house telling each other stories. When I was younger he usually told us classic fairytale stories. His favorite was Jack and the Magic Beanstalk. He didn’t realize it but he had told us that story over a hundred times. My sister and I even memorized every line from the old children's book. But as I grew older we started to talk about school life more.

And usually right before we went home, right before the sun went down, he would measure our height. He’d mark our height on his red maple tree. It was weird at first, but since he treated us so well we just went with it. And after years of spending time there, we finally figured out the reason behind it.

It was when he just turned 65. I was 16 and my sister was 14. I asked him, not about the reason he measured our height, but

“Miya-san, why do you wear so many rings?”

He always got these two pairs of silver rings. Two on his ring fingers, one on his right index finger, and one on his left thumb.

“It was my late partner’s... I use it as well so I won't lose it” he said.

“How many partners do you have, Miya-san?” I joked. That time, right after I said that, I thought it was an inappropriate joke and I should’ve not said it. But Miya-san just laughed.

My mother has lived in this neighborhood since forever. We live in grandma’s house. So my mother had known Miya-san since the first time Miya-san moved into this neighborhood.

My mother said it was when she was 15 when Miya-san first came. She said she never once saw his wife. It was only construction men and him. Aside from that, he’s always been alone. My mother said she never had the chance to ask him about his wife since my grandma told her not to.

So when he told me it’s his partner’s ring, I don’t know if it’s the truth or just his delusional mind. I heard it’s pretty normal for seniors to have a delusion every now and then.

“My mother said she never saw your wife. Are you sure you’re married, Miya-san?” My sister blurted. She’s always been a straightforward kind of girl.

Miya-san laughed, “So that’s why your mother always looks at me with those eyes..” he smiled.

After that, he told us the story of him, his partner, and his house. I can’t tell whether it’s just another delusion or not. But the way he told it was very emotional, he made it felt so real. So real that the story stuck in my head just like my favorite movie scene.

+++

“We’re here!” He turned off his car engine right after the rickety-looking house was just right beside our car.

“Samu, I love you but if you want to assassinate me here I swear to God I'll haunt you forever”

“Come on, Keiji!” and he got out of the car leaving Keiji with no other choice but to tail him.

They went into the classic landed Japanese-styled house. The surrounding was tall grasses but the man in front of Keiji didn't seem to mind it and just straight went to the old house.

Osamu turned on the lights right when he reached the front door as if he already memorized the house plan with its switches and wall plugs so well. They went into the main area to see inside.

There’s nothing there. Just an empty house with poor condition walls, moldy gypsum ceiling, and weathered wood parquet flooring.

“So, what do you think?” Osamu turned around with a wide smile at Keiji.

“Creepy” is all Keiji could think about right now. How can he not? They're in a slipshod old house in the middle of a senior neighborhood and the sun’s almost down.

Keiji could read Osamu’s face so easily. That idiotic smile means he wants Keiji to love this place so bad. Keiji took a deep breath before analyzing his surroundings, trying to find the bright side.

“It’s a pretty big house I suppose. Good for a family of 4. It has good natural lighting since it’s east-oriented,” Keiji could see the sun going down from the window in the backyard. “Has a big yard—“

“YES! It’s reaally big!” Osamu cut him off, “The backyard connected to the side garden! Come see it, Keiji!”

Osamu took Keiji’s hand, dragged him to exit the indoor space. He opened the sliding door to the side corridor to see the tall grass garden, “See! We can plant a tree there!” Osamu pointed to the middle spot of the side garden.

“There? Really? It won’t help in the summer at all”

“But we can see the tree while we’re having our afternoon tea in this corridor!”

“We’re having an afternoon tea? In this corridor?” Keiji could see Osamu stiffened.

“Samu, did you..” there are a couple suspense seconds hanging before Osamu finally sighed.

“Yea…. I bought you a house…” there’s a caught-eating-too-many-chocolate-red-handedly kid tone in his voice, “Happy fifth anniversary?” Osamu tries to lighten the mood.

Never has Keiji thought there’s such a crazy person in the world who bought his boyfriend a landed house for the fifth anniversary. Turns out it’s his own idiot.

There are so many thoughts in Keiji's head. So many questions. But only a laugh and tears came out.

“You crazy idiot”

Keiji threw himself to the broad-chested man in front of him and whispered the three words. Before they knew it they almost made it to the second base. And when Keiji realized he pulled away.

“Okay, you’re already crazy enough to buy me a house. Now you can’t be that crazy to have sex in this creepy house”

“But we're going to have a lot of sex here later on anyway”

“Exactly you said. Later.” Keiji pushed Osamu away, letting himself off of his embrace. “Now come on, let's go. It's getting cold and we need to find something to eat or else I might get grumpy”

“You already are,” Osamu murmured to himself.

“I can hear you!” Keiji shouted from the front door.

+++

“So.. What are we going to do with it?” Keiji asked after he swallowed the udon in his mouth. “It needs to be repaired here and there”

“It’s yours, you can do whatever you want with it. I'll just help anything you ask me to” Osamu said between his chews. “Oh! But it's still under my name. Since when I bought it I needed an ID as the owner and you know.. If I ask for your ID it wouldn't be so much of a surprise so I used mine. For now” he swallowed his food then took a sip of his green tea.

Keiji doesn't really mind. What he really minds is, “Why a house? We don’t even live together?”

“A couple months before, around February or March? I was walking back to my apartment from the shop. We’re on the phone. Remember when we talked about Bokuto having his first daughter?” Keiji nodded, “Right when you said that one of your dreams was to become a dad, I saw the advertisement in front of a realtors office. I took the pamphlet and I just think this is perfect and when I went to the place with the realtor it just felt right. So I bought it”

Osamu took his bowl, chugged the miso soup till it drained while Keiji still drowned in his own mind. Even though his mind mostly just filled with ‘he’s such an idiot,’ ‘he’s so cute,’ and ‘i love him so much’ and also other synonymous phrases in a loop.

“So.. what are you going to do first?”

Keiji blinked twice before he could process the question, “I, uh… I don’t know where to start. What do you think I should do?”

“Hmm… If you want to make it look like a decent place maybe we could crop the grass? Without it, the house definitely would look less haunted”

“Right! Okay, let's do that” Keji finished his bowl and drank his ocha until it’s half empty, “So from now on our dates would be just working on the house, huh?”

Osamu shrugged, “It’s up to you. You can take it slow if you want”

Keiji nodded slowly, “And after that.. after the house is decent enough for living, do we live together?”

Osamu looked Keiji in the eyes, found a look he’s very familiar with. The same eyes he saw when they just had their first kiss on their first date. At first, Osamu didn’t know what that look was supposed to mean. But after spending more time with Keiji, he eventually figured it out.

Keiji has always been an overthinker. Not just about his feelings but also his job. Sometimes when they are just about to sleep together after a long lovemaking, Keiji would suddenly just jump out of the bed and get anything to write on. Can be his phone, or a paper and a ballpoint, or even sometimes he just scribbled it on his palm. First time it happened, Osamu asked Keiji ‘what’s he doing?’, and Keiji answered without any hesitation. ‘I just remember Udai-san have this one panel where the main character supposedly said something inspirational but he used the wrong term’

It was such a slap in the face for Osamu. How can his partner think about something else right after they had sex? Was the sex that boring that Keiji decided to think about his work instead? Was he sloppy? Or does Keiji put his mangaka on a higher priority than him? Does Keiji love his job so much he can’t even enjoy other things in life? Or worse— Is Keiji in love with his mangaka and not Osamu?

That night they end up fighting until the sun comes up. Only god knows where they got their extra energy after such a tiring night exercise. But in the end, they both come to an understanding of each other. Keiji understood Osamu’s concern and Osamu learned that Keiji’s head can’t stop working. Even in his dreams Keiji sometimes works on his leftover work so after he woke up he would still feel exhausted.

Osamu thought Keiji was a genius. He heard that the genius Tesla also had what Keiji had. But for Keiji, it was never a perk. It’s torture. Sometimes even when Keiji needed to rest, his mind would just keep him awake. But after 5 years with Osamu, he eventually resolved that problem. Turns out he just needed to change his pillow to Osamu’s chest. So when he really needed to rest properly, he would just stay at Osamu’s or ask Osamu to sleep over.

“Keiji, I bought you a house and that's just it. You can do whatever you want with it. Even if you said you want to burn them I’ll gladly buy the gasoline. I gave you the house and that's just it. No pressure for you to keep up our relationship somewhere. We don’t have to do anything or go anywhere. I’m content with what we have now, and if you also felt the same, then you don’t have to do anything. I love you. And if you love me too then it’s all that matters for me”

Oh, Keiji just fell in love all over again.

+++

“We should’ve bought a lawn mower. My lower back is killing me. You can’t even compared, Samu”

“Hey! I crush your back in a good way! Of course it can’t compare” Osamu stands up straight to see Keijo who has been sprawled on the wooden corridor for the last 10 minutes. “Also you’ve been lazing around. You have no right to complain”

“And as a couple in love, we have to cover each other’s flaws. My flaw is I’m a 30 year old man but have a back of a 50s, hence I can’t bend my back to trim those grass anymore, and so you will” said Keiji as he tries to sit up to see the man he’s in love with.

“You lucky I love you” said Osamu as he started to bend his back again.

“And I feel the same way,” Keiji shouted back.

It’s already dark when they finished the whole yard. Keiji bends his back more in the end. He can’t stand seeing Osamu bearing all the pain. Osamu already spent so much from his bank to buy the house, Keiji knows at least he has to put all his heart into making this house a home. Keiji also finds the nearest vending machine to get some cold isotonic drinks and mineral waters.

“I don’t think I can drive right now, give me a minute,” Osamu said as he plopped down some more on the cold wooden corridor.

“I could,” Keiji said.

“I need the van for the shop, Keiji. I can’t afford the time to fix it before Monday”

“Hey! I have a legit driving license”

“I also have a legit big dent on my bumper”

“It was the other car’s fault!”

“Yea yea I get it. But just let me rest my back a little more”

Keiji huffed knowing Osamu still wouldn’t let him drive anymore. But he just let him be. He plopped down next to Osamu, tried to snuggle a little bit since even nights in Spring are chilly. Osamu pulled him closer, not minding the dried sweat smell from Keiji. And so did Keiji.

“Keiji, can you reach my pocket?” He whispered.

“I won’t have sex with you here” Keiji whispered back.

“Why are you always suspecting me of being horny here?”

“Your back pocket is where you keep your condoms”

“Not my back pocket! My hoodie’s pocket behind me—Fine I’ll just get it myself”

Osamu sat up, turned his back to take his dark grey hoodie which has been laying there since the moment they started mowing. Seeing Osamu’s excited face, Keiji also sat up.

Osamu threw his hoodie back to where it was when he found the thing he’s been searching for. Osamu took Keiji’s hand and gave him a black velvet box.

Keiji almost popped his eyes when he saw the box on his palm. He looked up to Osamu. That man still has his idiot excited face when he looks back at Keiji. “Open the box!”

Keiji slowly opened the box. His heart was beating so fast as if he was just running a marathon, until he saw what’s inside.

It was nothing like he thought. At all. Keiji blinked a couple times and took a little plastic bag inside the velvet box.

“What is this?” Keiji tried to see it through the light from the lamp inside the house.

“Seeds!” Osamu exclaimed proudly.

“Seeds?”

“Cherry blossom seeds!”

Keiji is really trying to keep up the hype as Osamu but he is just confused. “What’s this for?”

“You know there's a tradition in some cultures to plant a tree for every newborn?” Hasn’t got a chance to answer, Osamu kept talking, “Of course you know it. I found out about that from one of your books. So this is ours!” Osamu smiled proudly.

“YOU GOT US A BABY?!”

“NO! NO! NO! No no no no! Of course not! I can’t have a baby without discussing it with you beforehand”

“Yes, I know. But you bought a house”

“That’s different!” Keiji just can’t handle another stupidity from this idiot. One at a time is hard enough already.

“Okay… whatever you say. So, what are these seeds for?”

“As checkpoints of our fifth year and first day of this house”

Keiji didn’t say a word, waiting for more explanation but it seems like that’s all Osamu wanted to say. “Okay… that’s very sweet of you, Honey. But maybe you should keep reading the book until it finishes the explanation of the tradition”

“What about it?”

“The tradition is to plant tree because it grows with the man as long as the man live—“

“I know that”

“Honey, living a whole life means forever for the said man. But relationships… Samu, we don’t know what we have ahead of us…”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Keiji could see a glint reflection in his eyes.

“No! No! No! No no!” Keiji rubbed Osamu’s cheek as if he was a porcelain doll, “But… I’m afraid we’re not there yet”

“We’re just boyfriends. We’re not even living together. Our relationship is just the first step. Planting a tree is… there” Keiji used his hand to help him depict how far the high level is.

“But I will be your boyfriend forever”

“And I’ll say the same for now. Like I said, we don’t know what’s ahead of us”

Osamu still cold on his face. He didn’t move an inch. Just purely trying to process his feelings. Keiji pulled him into his hug, whispering that everything is fine and someday they’ll be on that level. They just need to be patient.

But Osamu didn’t want to wait. He won’t say that their five years relationship is just a first step. He didn’t want anyone in this relationship could just take a step back and then go. He knows it won’t be that easy for them to back off.

“Can we just plant the seeds?” Osamu cuts Keiji from giving him a sweet assurance. “Forget about the tradition from someone’s culture. We make our own tradition and plant the seeds now”

Keiji didn’t respond. “And if we really didn’t end up forever then just cut off the plant. Keiji,” Osamu pull out from Keiji’s arm to hold his hand and look him in the eyes, “imagine if we plant these seeds today then we’re together until the end of our time. We could see it grow into a pretty cherry blossom tree and see its beauty every spring. We don’t have to save a place in the park anymore. Ever!”

“That’s nice”

“I know! And hey! You could cross one of your bucket lists. The one you listed as have sex at festival. Count it as a private hanami you’re good to go”

“You always only remember the ones with ‘sex’ word in it”

“Hey! I’m a good boyfriend. It’s my job to satisfy your sexual needs” Osamu chuckled whilst Keiji laughed his heart out.

Keiji took a deep breath and let it out quickly to stop him from laughing again, “Okay fine, let's do it”

“Okay! I’ll dig the soil!” Just before Osamu could stand up Keiji held his hand.

Osamu gave him a raised eyebrows, “It’s better to plant it in a pot first, we could take it to our places so we can water it regularly easier”

“Good idea! I saw a clay pot around the backyard, under the house. Wait here!”

And so from that day, Keiji has a relatively small clay pot on his apartment balcony.

+++

It was almost a year after Keiji officially became a single plant dad. Without Osamu around and they rarely take turns for who's gonna water them, the term ‘single dad’ sounds right for him.

Keiji : Samu
Keiji : what are you doing?
Keiji : busy?

Osamu : hey babe
Osamu : just colsed the shop
Osamu : not at all
Osamu : whats up

Keiji : can you come by to my place

Osamu : 👀

Keiji : it’s not like that
KeijiKeiji : i have something to tell you
Keiji : pretty important

Osamu : ARE YOU PRAGNANT?!

Keiji : Samu, not now

Osamu : okay your scaring me rn
Osamu : are you okay?

Keiji : yes im fine
Keiji : just come

Osamu : on my way

Osamu doesn't usually ring the bell when he comes to Keiji’s place. He uses the key Keiji gave or just walks in. But reading the chat he had with Keiji, maybe it really is something pretty serious. Keiji didn’t even correct his typos and grammar like he usually does. So that night, he rang the bell.

Keiji opened the door. He’s not wearing his glasses and Osamu could see fret across his eyes. Keiji didn’t look him in the eye when he told him to come in. Osamu could feel the apartment was colder than usual. It's summer but it didn't feel like it at all.

Maybe it’s because of the aircon. Keiji’s aircon is always acting up as if it were a queen bee. Sometimes it’s too hot, sometimes it’s too cold, even though the temperature on the remote is always 17 degrees. When Osamu asked Keiji why he didn't fix it or buy a new one, he said every time the technician is around the aircon doing just fine and he just doesn’t think it really necessary to buy a new one just yet.

“You want some tea?” Keiji asked as they entered the living area. “I made some for myself earlier and made it too much”

“Sure”

Keiji doesn't usually make anything ‘too much’. He knows exactly what he needs. He has a sharp instinct on eyeballing things. So whether it's for an infant or 50 people, he'll get it just on the right amount. Unless he has other purposes in mind. Like one time Osamu’s parents said they wanted to see Keiji’s cooking, he purposefully cooked more just to make the presentation on Osamu’s camera look more appetizing. After that they end up giving the access foods to Keiji’s neighbors.

“Here, it’s still hot” he placed a wooden coaster then a green clay mug on top of it. Osamu lessened the gap between his body and the low table in front of him where his tea was on.

“Thanks” Osamu took a sip and he instantly felt a little better about the room temperature. The tea was a classic japanese green tea, it tasted just like how Osamu would make it.

Keiji was never a bad cook. He’s a fast learner, even. A couple first months of their relationship Keiji knows nothing about cooking. Now, Osamu could say Keiji isn’t so far away from his skill. The more Keiji observes the more adept he is. Once Keiji took some days off because he just can’t take another look at manga panels without having any urge to puke, he came to Onigiri Miya and helped around. Osamu had never told Keiji how to do things around. He just managed to blend in very well with the environment. He made some onigiri and the customers didn’t seem to notice the difference.

“Osamu about the seeds, where did you get it?”

“Tsumu gave it to me. It was a souvenir he got me from Kyoto a couple of years ago when he went there for his honeymoon” Keiji raised his brows and took a quick inhale but he kept his voice inside seeing how Osamu looked as if he still had another story coming, “I know it’s weird. When I got it I also got mad at him like he actually gave me the velvet box with not jewelry but some kind of dirt in it. But he said he got it from an exclusive place and paid a lot of money for it so I let that go. Besides, he also said the merchant said the seeds are actually from a sacred temple in Kyoto. If the seeds could grow in a house, they said the house would be protected by gods. Pretty cool right? So I’ve been waiting for the time when you got your house to give you that” Osamu took another sip from his mug.

Keiji scrunched his brows, “Did you get me a house just so you could give me those seeds?”

“No. Just like I said, it just felt right so I bought it. I didn’t remember I have those seeds until I bought the house”

“I see…” Keiji sighed, “So you’ve seen it grow a little trunk right?”

“Yes! It’s so cute! Now that you mention it I haven’t seen it in person. Can I see it now?”

“You could, but hear me up first” Keiji slide his hand onto Osamu’s, interlocking their hands, slowly rubbing it, “So I was searching about how to grow cherry blossom trees from seed— since you know, it’s almost a year and maybe it’s time to get it into a bigger pot or something— then I saw that apparently cherry blossom seeds were like a tiny puckered nuts”

Osamu didn’t say a word, just gave him a confused look of confusion, “Are you joking? Because if you were, it was very funny but I didn’t laugh cause you don’t usually tell a joke. So I’m not sure whether I shouldn’t laugh”

“No, Samu, it wasn’t a joke. Though, now that you mention it, it was pretty funny” they giggled a little as if Keiji just said ‘tiny puckered nuts’ again, “Okay back to serious”

Keiji stopped laughing and so did Osamu, “The seeds we planted weren't that..” Osamu didn’t say a word again but now he gets where this topic is going. “What we planted, I think, was more like a broken butterfly wing…Like a petals”

Keiji could see the disappointment in his eyes, “So what did we plant?”

“I’m not really sure but I think it’s red maple seeds, I tried to remember the seeds looks like and seeing how the spurt was like and how it looks like now it’s pretty much like a maple time lapse on YouTube I saw”

Osamu sighed, “I see…” he zoned out a little.

“Samu, you're okay?” Keiji tightened his fingers between Osamu’s.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine of course… but Imma kill that idiot”

“Who?”

“Tsumu of course! How dare he deceive me! I even saved it in a very special container in my refrigerator. I really believed it’ll be my greatest gift for you. I mean, I basically gave you god power! Who doesn’t want to be protected by gods?!” He sighed again, “Now I feel like a fool in front of you…”

Oh God Keiji wants to kiss the man so badly. How can a big guy like Miya Osamu be this cute?

Keiji rubbed Osamu’s hand in his, “I think you’re cute and sweet. And I love you even more now” Keiji brought his hand to lift Osamu’s face for him to see. Keiji kissed Osamu’s pouty lips.

“I’m not cute” he pouted even more.

“Come on, don't pout your lips. You remind me of one of your highschool photos. You know, the one where you lost to karasuno”

“Geez, how can you bring that up? It's been decades”

“But you’re so funny when you purse your lips… come on, I’ll make it up to you” Keiji placed his hand onto Osamu’s chest and brought his face close to him. But Osamu stopped him.

“Why should you make up for Tsumu’s fault?” Osamu looked away, then stood up. “It’s not just a little harmless lie. For me that also means we can’t have a private hanami anymore—“

“Really, Samu? I was just about to kiss you then you pushed me away just because you’re thinking about our future sex possiblity? I can’t concentrate enough for how stupid that is”

“Not that, Keiji! It’s not just that!” Osamu took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and massaged it a little before he finally sat up next to Keiji again.

“Earlier today the construction people called me. They said they just finished the corridor area and the house will be ready to use this winter. November is just a couple months away! And in my mind I can see us drinking our afternoon tea just under the cherry blossom tree. It was beautiful and I could picture it as it was a real experience I just had yesterday—”

“We could still went to hanami in the parks”

“Yeah but the tree in your garden would just be another tree. A boring red maple tree.”

Keiji didn’t say a word for a moment, staring at those gloomy grey eyes. The eyes were just like an old man who lost his favorite pair of socks. They knew it’s just a trivial thing but the socks were just too good to say goodbye to.

“It won't,” Keiji said. He snuggled up to his man’s chest and continued, “We could carve cheesy words like people do on the parks’ trees. And if we have kids, they could play daruma-san with it—oh! Or we could mark our kids height on it!“

“That’ll be so cute” Keiji looked up and could see the pout on his lips slowly went away. Osamu might look cute when he’s grumpy and all pouty but Keiji still prefers his man to be happy.

Keiji smiled at Osamu waiting for his postponed kiss. Osamu was very aware of that and he gave Keiji a passionate kiss on the lips but right after he felt Keiji’s hand on his zipper he pulled away. Before Keiji could complain he then whispered, “Let me reach my back pocket for a second”

+++

They were at a fanciest hotel dining for their sixth anniversary. They ordered an australian ribeyes with mashed potatoes for Osamu and wedges for Keiji. Their white plates contrasted with the red wine beside it.

“Look at us having fine dining as if it’s our first anniversary,” Osamu mocked.

Even-numbered years are Keiji's turn to plan their anniversary celebration whilst odd-numbered are Osamu’s. It’s not a written or unwritten rule on their relationship. It has never even been discussed by them. It was just something that happened for them naturally.

“I know! I'm sorry! I ran out of ideas, Okay! Have some mercy on me today, please”

“I don’t know about mercy… since you got us such a basic-flat anniversary celebration, can you at least afford for broken bed fines?” Osamu raised an eyebrow at him, not forgetting his smug smile Keiji hated so much.

“I could afford that, but I definitely couldn't afford hip surgery” they chuckled at it.

Continue their dinner peacefully, not minding the silence at all. Right after they got their dessert Keiji started to talk again, “I think I’m ready to move into the house”

Osamu stopped his hand from cutting his fancy cheesecake and slowly looked up to his boyfriend. “It’s been ready since a couple weeks ago, so I thought the house must’ve gone dirty. Compared to having an additional job to regularly go there just to clean things up, I might as well just live there instead. Also the maple tree is starting to need even more space. My balcony don't have the space for any bigger pot than what it has today”

“When are you planning to move?” Osamu still looked a bit shocked.

“I haven’t started to pack things up, so maybe 2 weeks from now is the fastest possibility” Keiji took a spoonful of his cheesecake, leaving Osamu still in daze. But after Keiji almost took another spoon, Osamu suddenly stood up and dashed to his side, to kiss the man in front of other customers.

“Keiji, I love you so much I think my heart literally just burst into pieces” he whispered.

“And I, you” Keiji smiled, “Should we just take our dessert back to our room?”

“Yes, please”

+++

“It’s a house for a family of four afterall…” Keiji said as they rested their body on his relatively small sofa compared to the communal space of the house. They just finished tidying up Keiji’s stuff into the house. Osamu lent his shop’s van--which has been used for his personal matters all the time--to help Keiji move his stuff from his apartment.

“Yeah… and you’re a ‘minimalist’” Osamu had his fingers air-quoting the trend of living term.

“I am a minimalist,” Keiji nodded slowly, agreeing.

“A minimalist wouldn't have all types of a volleyball player merchandise” Osamu gave a stern gaze to a wooden door where Keiji made his Bokuto shrine.

“I’m still working on my transformation”

“Yea babe, whatever you say”

“Come on, we still gotta move the maple tree from the pot” Keiji patted Osamu’s thigh signaling him to move his ass off the sofa. “The pot and fertilizers are still in your van, can you please bring it to the garden, I’ll dig the soil”

“So that’s why my van smells like shit!”

They broke the pot from Keiji’s apartment when they tried to pull the small tree out of it. Osamu didn’t know that small trees could have so many roots. Even though Keiji had changed its pot a couple times he also didn’t expect the roots to be that big.

“Well, this is a little anticlimactic,” Osamu said after fully buried all the roots. Leaving the mall tree standing alone in the middle of Keiji’s side garden.

“I know… it felt so big on my balcony. Now it looks like a mis-trimmed pubic hair” Keiji rested his hand on Osamu’s shoulder. Both still fixated on the small trunk below them.

“How tall is it?”

“I think i have a measuring tape, wait here”

Keiji came back with atypical yellow measuring tape construction men use. He lengthened its tongue downward to the soil.

“73 cm” he let go of the tongue and stood back up. “That’s… actually taller than average”

“What average?” Osamu looked at him with his thick brows scrunched up together. Partly because he’s confused and some parts because of winter sunrays glare.

“From what i read, maple trees grow less than 50cm a year”

“Maybe it really is magical seeds” Osamu smiled a little.

“Aw… you must be missing your cow that much to be this delusional huh, Jack?”

“What are you talking about?” Osamu could hear the mocking tone in Keiji’s words but he just couldn't grasp it.

“Jack and the magic beanstalk?”

“Huh? What’s that? Is it a story about a guy named Jack getting high from some magic beans?”

Keiji sighed, “What did you do to spend your childhood, really?”

“Mostly volley,” Osamu answered without hesitation.

“Okay come on I’ll show you. One of my mangaka’s works is inspired by that story. I think I have the classic child book of it”

And that day Osamu found a new interest.

+++

Osamu’s staff just bid him goodbye and left him to close the shop alone. As soon as Osamu locked the front door and left his shop he plugged his airpods into his ears, pulled out his phone from his jeans and dialled a number.

“Busy?”

“I’m waiting for my wife to get out of the bathroom. If you know what I mean” Osamu could actually see his twin wiggling his brows.

“Sorry but I think I have to cockblock you this time”

“I could hang up now if I want to”

“It’s really important for me. Just this once”

“I know you bastard don’t even feel sorry, do you”

“Yea no shit” Osamu smirked even though the man from the other end couldn’t see.

“Better be good. What is it?”

“Where did you buy your wedding ring?”

“YOU’RE MARRYING KEIJI-KUN?!” again. Osamu could practically see his twin jumped off in his head. “Does Ma know about this?!”

“I’ll tell Ma when Keiji said yes” Osamu could see his apartment door just 5 meters from him. It was a short walk from the shop to his apartment. Osamu rented the apartment after he decided when his shop was going to be so he chose the closest on purpose. Osamu took out his key from his jeans and tried to unlock the door but it was already unlocked. He twisted the doorknob and went in to see a very familiar pair of shoes on his doorway and not long after that he saw a man with glasses popping his head from the living area just on the end of the hallway.

“Samu, welcome home!” said the man in blue sweater.

“KEIJI?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Osamu wouldn’t expect Keiji to be in his apartment today. Not when he’s discussing about marrying him with Atsumu on the phone.

“Keiji's there?” Atsumu’s voice popped in his ears.

“Yeah. We’ll continue this later. I’m hanging up”

“Okay. Good luck” Osamu quickly pulled out his airpods and went into the living room where the not-so-guest were in.

When Osamu entered the living room, there he saw a pile of new smooth flat cardboards. There are 2-3 boxes of cardboards which already filled with some of his things. “What are you doing, babe?” Osamu managed to not stay cool even with the absurd view he’s seeing.

“Packing your things” Keiji said as he took some of Osamu’s tv table decorations.

“Where…. am I going?” the question just felt weird coming off Osamu’s tongue. Who in the world would get their stuff packed up without even knowing where he’s going.

“You should have moved in with me before Monday”

Osamu blinked a couple of times before his brain could process what his boyfriend just said. “You’re asking me to move in with you?”

“I’m not asking. I’m telling” the man with glasses still not looking up, busy wrapping a porcelain fox in a bubble wrap.

“And if I said no?”

Keiji stopped his doing, looking up to the apartment owner. His gaze was not showing any less serious intention, “Come on. Would you really going to say no?”

“Nah.. even in other version of me from another dimension I still wouldn’t”

“Exactly. Now, come on pack your things up then we could cuddle”

Osamu chuckled, then took a new cardboard to make it into a box. He knows exactly when Keiji suggests for a cuddle, that could only mean one thing, “How long have you been awake?”

“53 hours 35 minutes” Osamu stopped taping his box, turned his head to the man in front of the tv.

“No useless sleep in between?” he asked. He wants to make sure at the very least Keiji’s body had a minute or two of resting even though his mind most likely hadn’t.

“No”

Right that second Osamu dropped his cardboard, took Keiji's hand. Practically dragged him to his bedroom, laid him on the right side of his bed, tucked him in his comforter.

“What are you doing?” Keiji asked as Osamu removed his glasses and put them on the nightstand.

“Stay up a couple more hours and you’ll break your own record”

“Exactly!”

“This isn't a joke Keiji. Last time you stay up so long when you passed out you basically in a comma”

“Not literall--”

“You’re sleeping now”

Osamu knows Keiji kind of developed a little phobia of sleeping. He has trouble sleeping for a very long time now, and it stresses him out when he keeps failing to fall asleep to the point he is just scared to try to sleep anymore. Because once he stressed out from it he’ll start to overthink everything.

“I’ll hold you to sleep. Just think about my onigiri rotating in a circle or count a swimming salmon”

“Yoohoo tiddies!”

If Keiji stays up more than 48 hours his mind would not stay in one place. One second it’s all about work the next it’ll be him giggling over square shaped onigiri he made up in his own mind.

Osamu joined Keiji in his bed. Like a baby would automatically have their mouth in sucking motion every time their mother holds them, Keiji automatically placed his head onto Osamu’s chest looking for his heartbeats for his lullaby.

After a half an hour, Osamu finally could see Keiji’s body relaxed with his breath going in a regular rhythm. Osamu slowly slid his hand to reach his phone under his pillow, quickly opening his message.

Osamu : give me your place’s web
Osamu : Imma need the rings before monday

Didn’t get an immediate response, Osamu remembered that his twin said he was about to spend time with his wife. So he figured he wouldn’t get his reply anytime soon and decided to join Keiji to sleep.

Osamu woke up at 3 a.m. almost 4. And apparently Osamu forgot to turn off the nightstand. Keiji was still sleeping soundly on his arm. Keiji moves a bit when he’s asleep. Not wanting to wake him up, Osamu found Keiji’s lashes to be his entertainment. They’re not beauty standards long lashes, there’re barely even any, so short and not curled up. But they’re osamu’s beauty standards approved. They’re one of Osamu’s favorite parts of Keiji. His lashes are long enough to highlight Keiji’s lids and frame Keiji’s eyes but not too long to take anyone’s attention off Keiji’s gunmetal blue eyes.

He’s too focused on every detail on Keiji’s features; he didn’t notice the sun was already up. Keiji slowly fluttered his eyelids. They didn’t say good morning. Just silently enjoy the moment with each other.

“You should start washing up in the morning instead” Keiji said, still with a hoarse voice.

“Is that sarcasm?”

“No. I like your smell”

“Gross”

“I know”

They both chuckled and Osamu slowly sat up. “Coffee?”

He was about to go to his coffee machine in his kitchen that he bought just because Keiji must drink coffee every morning but Keiji held his arm. He didn’t say anything but Osamu knew he meant ‘Stay a little longer’ so he laid back again and Keiji almost immediately cuddled up to his chest.

“The house felt so empty with just me and the maple tree in it” Keiji said after a couple moments listening to his boyfriend's heartbeats. “Also my tv is so small so Imma need yours” Osamu laughed, making his chest bumpy for Keiji.

“So, do you want to move in with me?” Keiji looked up to Osamu with his eyes still got some eye booger and a little red.

“Yes, Keiji. Let’s live together” they smiled and Keiji gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Now you could make my coffee”

“Your order is my duty, my highness” Osamu kissed him on his forehead and left Keiji stretching on the bed.

+++

Keiji : Your stuff just arrived
Keiji : told the men to put your stuff inside the house
Keiji : now I can’t even watch my tiny tv
Keiji : imma need to install your tv first

Osamu : nice
Osamu : do what you want babe
Osamu : im just gonna wrap some onigiri for our lunch then straight to you

Keiji : will do
Keiji : don’t flip out if you see some of your stuff missing or broken

Osamu : if that happen don’t flip out when you see my back pocket is thick

Keiji : pervert

Osamu : to you only babe

That Saturday morning Osamu called a moving service to help him move his stuff to Keiji’s house. Because unlike Keiji, Osamu wasn’t a minimalist. He got a lot of stuff, so just using his van wouldn’t be enough and that is also the reason why he could never rent a small apartment.

Osamu’s shop is never closed even on weekends unlike Keiji’s job. Keiji waited for Osamu’s stuff to arrive at his house while his boyfriend had a half day at work.

A couple minutes before Osamu’s stuff arrived the service man called Keiji. Apparently Osamu put Keiji’s number as a contact person.

“Hello, this is moving service for Miya-san”

“Oh, yes right it’s… Miya household” Keiji swore in his mind for how red his own face was at that time.

“Oh we’re sorry beforehand Miya-san but I think we kinda got lost around the neighborhood… we’re in the area Miya-san wrote on the form but we didn’t find any house with Miya-san’s plate name”

“Oh right! Sorry, our house haven’t got that”

“Oh… I see. So where should we go?”

Keiji directed the men on the phone and a couple minutes after that the truck parked in front of the house.

“We’re sorry that we’re a little late,” said the man in a grey uniform as Keiji signed the receipt.

“No, no, no… We’re sorry for the inconvenience… we just started using this house last week so we haven’t get the hyosatsu”

That little incident made Keiji start to think about what name should they put on the hyosatsu. It’s Keiji’s house but it's still under Osamu’s name. That thought brought him to a brisk blood flow in his face so he quickly brushed that off. He took out his phone to inform Osamu about his stuff.

Keiji zoned out a little after reading Osamu’s flirty text, until he saw a box with ‘album’ label on it. He pulled the transparent tape which sealed the box and looked at what’s inside.

They packed Osamu’s stuff together but this box is definitely not Keiji's doing. There’s a pile of album photos inside it and on top of that was a dark red leather album photo with Keiji’s name on it. When Keiji opened it, a white letter fell off of it. Inside it there was a torn notebook paper with blue ink written on it.

It was a letter with no date, no greeting, no salutation. It was a letter that sounded like a direct conversation. It was only a couple lines of one side conversation. It was a letter for his Ma.

”Ma I like a boy.
I know him from volleyball. He’s a setter from Tokyo school.
The girls I dated before was true tho. I also never thought I'd be like this, but that boy is very beautiful. We aren't dating. I don't think he even knows me. But I like him.
I'm sorry if I disappoint you.
I love you, Ma”

It was Osamu’s coming out letter.

+++

Keiji decided it was the time. That day was the perfect time. That day should be THE day.

Keiji jogged to his bedroom, slid open his nightstand to get the red velvet little box. He checked a pair of silver rings he bought last year in it. He prayed for the right size and closed it again. He took a deep breath and went out of his room.

He placed the velvet box on top of the album box. Sealed it again with a new tape. Carefully so the new tape was placed in the same place where the original tape was on. Although it won’t matter since the cardboard is already ripped a little.

After that Keiji remembered his thoughts earlier. The dilemma on hyosatsu is no longer going to keep him awake. Keiji took his phone and opened an online marketplace. But even after resolving his own dilemma Keiji couldn't stop fidgeting so he actually installed Osamu’s tv and put his own tv in his room. By the time Keiji finished installing Osamu’s tv and re-installing his own tv it’s almost 3 p.m. Knowing the time made him realize his hunger. He just skipped his lunch.

Osamu should’ve arrived around 2 but he didn’t. Keiji looked up his phone and saw no new notification. He was about to call his first fast dial but an unknown number popped up on his screen. Keiji picked up his phone slowly because his gut telling him it’s not something he should expect.

“Hello, is this Keiji?” It was a woman's voice.

“Yes. Who is this?”

“This is from Minato Central Hospital. I’m sorry Keiji-san are you Miya Osamu-san’s relative? I’m sorry we just called Miya-san’s fast dial and it’s this number”

“Yes” Keiji knew there is no time for Keiji to deal with social judgment about gay couple, so he lied.

“I’m sorry to inform you Keiji-san. A restaurant called Onigiri Miya caught on fire and Miya-san is a victim” Keiji could feel his heart dropped. “Can you come as a guardian in case there going to be an emergency procedure”

Keiji didn’t answer immediately. His mind went blank for a full 3 seconds until he heard the woman from the phone called his name on repeat. “Keiji-san? Are you there?”

“Y-yes”

“Can you come?”

“Y-yes I’ll be there”

+++

Keiji ran to the emergency, leaving his taxi’s door open. Went straight to the nearest desk he saw, “I’m Miya Osamu’s guardian. The Miya Onigiri accident” he unconsciously raised his voice. The nurse behind the desk immediately called for her friend who by chance just ran past Keiji.

“This is Miya Osamu-san’s guardian,” the nurse said.

Her man friend suddenly froze on the spot. Keiji could feel the tension. It’s not going to be good.

“O-oh, Sir… We’re very sorry,” Exactly the words Keiji wasn’t looking for, “We did everything we could--”

“Take me to him” Keiji's voice wasn’t shaking, stern, even though he’s holding his tears.

Keiji would not believe his Osamu went just like that. He promised to live together with him. He hasn’t yet opened the ripped cardboard. He has to. He can’t just leave Keiji and their maple tree like that. Osamu hasn’t even watered them more than 10 times. It’s less than his finger from both hands combined. He hasn’t yet had afternoon tea in the house’s corridor. Osamu can’t die just yet.

But he was laying on a metal bed with a white sheet covering his whole body but his feet and face.

“He was trapped inside the shop when the fire happened. He got hit on his head by the fallen roof truss and passed out. But since he passed out inside the fire too long he died from inhaling too much carbon monoxide”

Keiji slowly walked closer to the bed, touched his cold pale face. Dragged his face across his freshly stitched forehead.

“Sir, this is Miya-san’s belongings we found in his clothing” Keiji turned his head back to the man in a blue scrub.

The man was pushing a small metal wheeled table. There’s laid, in scatter, Osamu’s wallet, phone, van’s key, and a black velvet box. Keiji flinched when he saw the box. It was the same velvet box which used to contain the maple seeds.

Keiji was hesitant but he took the box and opened it anyway. And this time, instead of tree seeds, there’s an actual pair of rings.

Keiji’s body felt stiff instantly and trembled in a way he had never been before. Keiji put back the box on the metal table with his trembling hand. Right after he let go of the box he realized next to the box there was a familiar packaging laying beside it. It was the thing that wouldn’t absence from Osamu’s back pocket.

There were so many emotions in Keiji’s heart. So many words stuck at the tip of his tongue. But only a laugh and tears came out.

“You crazy idiot” Keiji threw himself onto Osamu’s stiff body. Clashed their faces together not minding the tears and some of his saliva from laughing rubbed on his boyfriend’s face.

But the laugh eventually became a chuckle, and the chuckle became a breathy heave and the heave drowned with the sobs. “You idiot. Don’t you want to hear me say yes first? Come on, wake up idiot! I’d say yes so don’t be scared, open your eyes! Please you can’t just leave all the work for the tree to me… Samu, my love, please...”

+++

Keiji called Atsumu and their Ma after he managed to stop his tears. Ma came with Atsumu and his wife. Ma’s eyes are already damp. Keiji showed them where Osamu is but Atsumu stayed outside with Keiji, leaving Ma with his wife.

Atsumu observed Keiji a little, his fingers to be exact. Seeing Keiji in a very fragile state all Atsumu could say was, “Did you already taken care of the papers, Keiji-kun?”

Keiji looked up to his dream brother-in-law. Keiji shook his head, “It should be signed by a family member”

Atsumu almost said that Keiji is family. But seeing his naked ring finger he stopped his tongue. “Where should I go to sign that?”

Keiji told Atsumu to go to the front desk and Atsumu left. Not long after that Atsumu’s wife came to him saying that Ma’s looking for him so Keiji went in leaving Atsumu’s wife outside.

Ma’s eyes were red swollen, she hiccuped every now and then but she forced herself to put herself together. She held Keiji’s hands “Keiji… I saw Osamu’s ring…” her tears rolled down her cheeks again, “If he asked you to marry you, what would you say?”

“I’d say yes, Ma” Keiji held back his tears not wanting to made Ma feel worse.

“Then please take care of it. I’m sure Samu wants you to have them” Keiji nodded.

Keiji held Ma’s hand back, he took a deep breath, “Ma there is something I should tell Ma”

Keiji told Ma about the house. As expected, Ma didn’t know about this. She insisted Keiji to take care of that too since it’s Osamu’s present for him even though the owner of the house is still under Osamu’s name. “You’re his husband Keiji. You take care of your husband belongings”

Keiji is just a human. He cried when his husband passed away.

+++

It’s been a week since Osamu’s funeral in Hyogo. Keiji still hasn’t gone to his office nor doing a proper human living. He just stared blankly at the porcelain jar where Osamu’s ashes were in from the sunrise to the sunsets. Atsumu and his wife visit from time to time to give him food and check his condition, they sometimes also video call Ma to show Ma how Keiji was doing. And of course Keiji faked every second of it.

Keiji was staring at the jar on the tv table but his eyes changed its focus on it’s own. He saw the tree in the garden behind the tv tabel. It was already as tall as his concrete wall around his house.

Keiji hasn’t been watering it for a week. Keiji unconsciously took a bucket of water and walked to the middle of the garden.

The tree was Osamu’s greatest gift. Osamu said it himself. It was seeds from a sacred temple that contained gods’ power. If Keiji was on the right might he would mock himself for thinking there were actual magic seeds. But he wasn’t. So he prayed. He prayed to the gods for Osamu’s well being in their world.

Keiji splashed the water to its roots then looked up to see the red maple shaped leaves dancing with the wind as if it was telling him that Osamu is fine and that he should continue living his life. Like the leaves who dance with the wind would continue to grow as Keiji keeps taking care of it.

When Keiji put back the bucket to its place near the water faucet in the backyard, he heard a courier calling his name so he went to the front.

“Package for Akaashi Keiji”

“That’s me”

The courier gave him a 20 by 40 cm package and asked him to sign the receipt. The courier bid goodbye and left Keiji with the 1kg package in his hand.

He then went into his house and opened the package only to see a wooden board with a metal plate bolted onto it. The metal plate has a crafted letter on it.

“宮”

+++

Keiji got Ma’s permission to bury Osamu’s ashes below the tree. So he did.

“You think you could leave me just like that with the tree. Now look at you even more attached to the tree than I am. Now you have to take care of him too”

Keiji flopped himself next to where Osamu was buried. It was Wednesday afternoon in spring. The sun was not as hot as summer but it sure still made Keiji sweats. The tree was still too thin for giving him a full shadow.

Maybe it’s the heat stroke from staying under the direct sunlight for too long but Keiji could feel Osamu around him. He could faintly hear a heartbeat coming from the tree. Keiji put his ear on the skinny trunk of his maple tree and he swore he could hear it more clearly.

Until he opened his eyes in a stranger place. “Oh you’ve woken up, Miya-san! Anata, where’s the water?”

“Um.. I’m sorry but who are you?” Keiji sat up from the bed he was sleeping on.

“We’re Yamada, we live across your house” the middle aged man answered while the teenaged girl next to him just stays silent. “I was just going to the convenient store but then I saw you from your front door you’re passed out in your garden so I brought you here since I don’t know if I could enter your house”

“Oh god, Thank you so much Yamada-san. I'm sorry for bothering you”

“No at all, Miya-san,” his wife came in with a glass of water and gave it to Keiji, and so Keiji politely drank it. “You were so light, Miya-san! you should eat more!”

Keiji just nodded not knowing what to say. “Can you stand up now?” Yamada-san asked.

“I think I’m fine now, Yamada-san”

“Then come on, let's eat. My wife just finished cooking our lunch”

Keiji has no heart to decline the kind man who just saved his life so he ended up sitting next to his daughter on their dining table. “Itadakimasu”

It was just a curry but Keiji felt so happy eating that there. “So, Miya-san we haven’t introduced ourselves properly… I’m Yamada Takahasi, this is my wife Aiko, and this is Rie my daughter. She's just got into high school”

“Right. I’m… Miya Keiji, pleased to meet you Yamada-san”

Yamada family was very nice to him and even when Keiji was about to go back, Yamada-san’s wife gave him some of the leftover curries.

The sun was about to go down when he left Yamada’s house. Keiji walked down across the street to his house and went straight to the side garden, not bothering to walk in from the front door.

Keiji sat on the corridor, facing the red maple tree while the sun slowly went down. “Samu, our neighbors are very nice people. Maybe I should give them something in return”

Keiji stood up from the corridor to walk closer to the tree. He brought his ear closer to the trunk trying to find the rhythm he was missing. But his eardrums didn’t get any pulse. So Keiji thought maybe the rhythm he heard earlier today was just the heatstroke playing with his head.

Keiji went into the house from the corridor straight to the living area where Osamu’s stuff was still resting inside the scattered boxes. Keiji put down the curry he got from Yamada-san on the coffee table in front of the sofa, then he took the nearest cardboard and started to pull out its tape.

Keiji found his way forward.

The last box Keiji opened was the first one he ever touched. Keiji took out the album and put it in a cabinet but he kept the red velvet box in his hand.

Keiji went to his room to find the black box with a similar texture. He opened both of the boxes in his hand and saw two pairs of silver rings.

Keiji took both of the smaller sized rings and put them on his ring fingers. It fitted perfectly. Both of them. And when Keiji took out two of the bigger ones he could see a distinct difference in the size. Keiji tries to put it on his index fingers but one on the left—the one that he bought—a bit loose. So he moved it to his thumb. Keiji felt treacherous for how well Osamu knows about him while Keiji messed up to even just roughly measure Osamu’s ring finger. With all the hand holding they’ve had, Keiji should’ve known better.

Keiji kissed every ring on his fingers as he whispering, “Yes, I do”

+++

“I know it looks foolish but that is exactly why I do this. Every lunatic little things reminds me of you” Keiji talk to the plant he’s watering, “Let’s just hope the people at the office won’t laugh” he giggled to himself.

“Wish me luck. Please take care of the house while I’m out, Samu! I’ll be back around 7!”


“Samu, I’m home! Are you thirsty? Wait up let me take the bucket”

“Samu I made onigiri for the Yamada family with your usual recipe. They loved it very much!”

“Samu, you got a nephew! Atsumu and the baby is on their way to meet you here! Be prepared, uncle!”

“Wow, Samu! You look really beautiful in autumn!”

“Samu, Rie, Yamada-san’s daughter just got married! Her husband looks so handsome. Like I was in my early 20s… oh look at me now getting wrinkles around my eyes! Maybe I really should’ve bought the eye cream the sales girl asked me to buy last week at the mall… God! Being 40 sucks without you around. I can’t laugh at your ugly wrinkle— I mean, we both know you’ll get more wrinkles than me”

“Happy 10th anniversary! I got you a friend so you won’t get so lonely when I’m at work! It’s sunflower seeds! From now on I’ll get you more friends for your company. It’s getting weirder now that you’ve grown so big and yet the rest of our garden still empty”

“Samu, it’s my 50th birthday! And guess what, Rie is pregnant! Her son must be handsome”

“Samu, Rie’s son and daughter came visited me earlier today! They love your onigiri so much! Hide-kun even ate 5 of them!”

“Hide-kun and Miko-chan just left… Can you feel the mark I left on your trunk? The highest one is Hide’s! Hide-kun is so tall right?! He’s just 8! By the time he’s 12 he maybe could climb up your trunk!”

“Samu, today I told Miko-chan about Jack and the Magic Beanstalk! Apparently, like you, she didn’t know about it either”

“Miko-chan and Hide-kun grew up so fast, huh Samu? You can feel the mark right? And also Hide-kun got a little crush on his classmate named Nanako. He’s so cute when he talk about her and get all blushed”

“Samu, Hide-kun is getting into college… he’ll be out of town… and Miko-chan seemed to be so busy with her school… I missed them”

“Samu, last night I dreamt about the time you got me the house. You looked so ugly with your foolish smile… why did I even fell for an idiot like you”

“Samu, I had a dream about you again… but this time you look so handsome and angel-like… you hugged me, you were so warm… I tried to hug you back but then you fade away… how could you do that to me…”

“I don’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to see you in my sleep anymore if you’re just going to leave me again. Samu, I’m scared”

“I don’t know when was the last time I had a proper sleep… I miss your chest… I miss your smell, I miss your arms around me, I miss your warmth… I miss you, Samu”


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“Samu, it’s 5 minutes until your birthday! So tonight I will stay by your side and be the first one to congratulate you on your 75th birthday!” Keiji tightens his wool cardigan around him before he sits next to a 10 meters red maple tree. Its leaves have started to fall little by little by the harsh wind of October.

“Samu, look around you… our garden now has become a full garden with all types of plants I could find around me… oh look at that tomato! That plant has saved me at least 500 yen a month!” Keiji chuckled.

“You’ve grown so big… I still remember the night when we planted the seeds together…” Keiji looks up to his pocket watch he got from Ma when she passed away.

“Oh it’s 12 o’clock! Happy birthday, my love… I hope you’re doing well up there,” Keiji kisses the trunk next to him, not minding the dirt left on his lips after. He rests his head on it take a deep breath, “and I hope we can meet again”

Keiji closes his eyes enjoying the cold breeze on his face that autumn night. The tranquil wind that night brought Keiji’s senses into relaxation. There he finds the old rhythms in his eardrum again.

The beats sound deep and regular. The beats eventually become Keiji’s lullaby and guide him to a peaceful sleep he’s been needing for.


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Keiji wakes up by the warmth around him. He opens his eyes slowly as he tries to recognize his surroundings. It isn’t much a surrounding when all he could see was a white clothing that wrapped somebody’s chest and arm.

Keiji pulls himself off of the man's body to see his surroundings. It’s the house. Keiji’s house. He’s outside, on his side garden looking into the house.

Keiji slowly looks back and sees the man who embraced him before. The man has a short black lock and thick eyebrows. The man was leaning on the trunk of a blooming cherry blossom tree.

His lips curled up as he said,

“Welcome home”

+the end+

Notes:

Hi! thanks for reading till the end! I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for the grammar and/or spelling mistakes.

This is my first work in AO3! Also my first English fic (in forever)! And my first 10k+ fic! I really can't believe I can finish this piece. Writing this was a pure bliss for me because I started this work when I just finished my thesis defense so it's like a mini celebration for me.

It's been some time since I wrote angst so I thought maybe I should make one again. Just so I won't forget how to make one /hehe. I cried when I made the plot in my head also (a lot) when I wrote it /lol. I hope you guys also drawn into the story.

Again, thank you for reading this!
see you again (I hope), or you could find on my twitter @taqunyaki 🥰
-kankoen.

Literature review on home definition 😁:
Clapham, D. (2005). The meaning of housing: A pathways approach. Bristol: Bristol University Press.