Kathryn Janeway from Mark Johnson

Transcript of Janeway's Dear John letter...
Kathryn Janeway from Mark Johnson. Dear Kathryn, I was just remembering about the birth of Mollie's puppies and how long ago that seemed. You should see how big they are now and how well they get along with my new kitten. Things at work are still crazy; the production schedule never seems to let up...however I do need to relate some rather difficult news...since you've been gone, it's been so difficult for me to assume...

Notes:

This work finishes the letter that Mark Johnson writes to Janeway. The snippet shown in the summary is what is visible on the PADD.

Chapter Text

Dear Kathryn,

I was just remembering about the birth of Mollie's puppies and how long ago that seemed. You should see how big they are now and how well they get along with my new kitten. Things at work are still crazy; the production schedule never seems to let up.

However, I do need to relate some rather difficult news...since you've been gone, it's been so difficult for me to assume that I would live the rest of my life without you. I was devastated. I spent time with your family, joined Starfleet support groups. Anything I could to feel close to you. Then, I saw other family members of your crew going on with their lives and moving on. I was so angry. I thought as the captain's fiancée, I could set an example. Convince others to hold on to hope. But eventually, I came to the conclusion I was clinging to a fantasy. Slowly, I began to live my life again. Meet new people, let go of the past.

Kath, the last thing I want to do is upset you...I know you need to maintain your emotional strength for the crew. But I have to let you know that I have moved on. Four months ago, I married a woman I work with. She joined my team a couple of years ago, so you haven't met her. She makes me a very happy man.

I want you to know that I have always loved you, and I will never forget you. I'm only sorry that our time together was cut short by this terrible mission. I hope that you will continue to make impossible things happen like you have always done, and you will get your crew home so we can talk in person. I look forward to telling you about the homes I found for the puppies I didn't keep and hearing about all of your adventures.

Your mother and Phoebe are doing very well and missing you very much. When we were told by Starfleet that each crew member could get one letter, they insisted that I be the one to write to you so that you would hear the news from me in my own words in the hopes that you can move on as well if you haven't already. Please, Kathryn, the thought of you being alone out there worries me greatly. I hope at least your old friend Tuvok is there, reminding you when to eat and sleep.

I am so proud of the amazing leader you are. Starfleet can't give us much information, but they did tell us that you united the Starfleet and Maqui crews and have made many friends and enemies in the Delta Quadrant. They also said that you have already travelled impossible distances to make it to your point in your journey. I also wanted to let you know that Starfleet is having an additional ceremony to honor the crewmen who have died based on the crew manifest your EMH provided. You'll be pleased to know they are making no distinction between Starfleet and Maqui crew.

Come home soon.

Love, Mark

Chapter 2: Optional Chapter 2

Summary:

Janeway’s reply to Mark’s letter

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Two years later, the Pathfinder project makes communication with Starfleet possible...

Janeway paused before submitting the transmission. It was a combination of documents she had to send to Starfleet. Approval of the comm schedule for the crew to have time with their loved ones. Answers to several questions that had been raised about her logs. Acknowledgement of Starfleet’s orders for their wayward vessel. And the object of her hesitation. A reply to Mark Johnson’s dear John letter.

First, it gnawed at her that she chose to reply in letter form. However, she desperately yearned to speak with her mother, and it could be months before she had time in the schedule for another personal call for herself. He deserved to hear from her sooner. She wanted the closure sooner. It was a wound she had felt was open for almost two years. He had stated his reality, but without her response, it was still an open issue that needed resolution. She read her composition for the umpteenth time.

~~
Dear Mark,

I don’t think I need to tell you that your words cut me like a phaser beam. But I don’t want you to worry - I am ok. And I do not blame you. We have talked about this. I have a dangerous profession, and in the event of my demise or disappearance, you have every right to your happiness. I am glad this is an electronic document and not written on paper or you would see evidence of my tears as I write this. My emotions cannot accept the end of our romantic association as well as my logic leads me to think I should. I don’t say this to make you feel bad. Maybe I’m hoping that it’s proof to you that I have truly loved you.

The truth is that there have been temptations for me as well, and it is better for me that our engagement no longer factors into my decisions. However, as captain, I have chosen to remain single so as to try not to impair my judgement. All of my options on this ship are my subordinates. I know this decision will worry you, as when we discussed this topic, you were adamant that should anything happen to you, I should pursue other men. Please don’t dwell on this - I have made up my mind on this point.

I want to thank you for loving me because I feel that our relationship has made me a better woman and a better captain. I hear your voice in my head when I’m about to do something rash and need to step back. Thank you also for all you have done for Mollie and her puppies. I know you did it for me, though I like to believe you take some joy in it yourself as well.

I suppose this is goodbye to our love, but I hope it is not goodbye to our friendship. I will always have a spot in my heart for you and the years we’ve shared together. Best of luck to you and Carla. Yes, I looked up her name because you didn’t once mention it in your letter. Maybe it’s not fair because my reply doesn’t have a character limit while I know the initial letters were brief by necessity.

I want to reiterate that I am truly okay. I work more than I should and rely on Tuvok and Chakotay to remind me to eat and sleep. But I am focused on getting this crew home. If it wasn’t so isolating and terrifying, the work is fun. This crew is talented and resourceful. And now, Starfleet can communicate with us, which is a huge relief. I cannot wait to talk to Mom. I understand you spent a lot of time with her after our disappearance, and I am grateful for that as well.

Goodbye, Mark - I hope to see you on Earth as soon as possible so that we can reconnect as friends, and I can get to know Carla.

With all my heart,
Kathryn
~~

With a sigh, she submitted the transmission and hoped that the mourning of her lost romance would soon come to an end.

Notes:

This optional chapter was added after a reader’s comment made me realize that Janeway would eventually have an opportunity to reply to Mark’s letter.

Actions

Kudos

CaptainKJaneway, vega_voices, Emilie_786, OakEcho, Guinevere137, Torri012, tojanewayandbeyond, Al_JustATrekkie, jencat, Curator, bbybyrd, MiaCooper, tiasworld93, sabbig, Pennytextrix, afrakaday, and PCBW as well as 25 guests left kudos on this work!

Comments

Sorry, this work doesn't allow non-Archive users to comment. You can however still leave Kudos!

Al_JustATrekkie on Chapter 1 Sun 14 Jun 2020 07:25AM UTC

This is so sad :-(
We know very little about Mark, but from the tiny snippets we learned over the years, he seemed like a decent guy. This letter fits in with that - he tries to tell her about her loved ones, apologizes, and wishes her well for the future.
Did you ever do a fic where we find out what - if anything - Janeway wrote back to him?

Comment Actions
- Thread
1. LeftyVoyager on Chapter 1 Mon 15 Jun 2020 07:01PM UTC
  
  Thanks for your feedback!
  That is interesting and maybe something worth exploring. I would imagine that by the time a response is possible, she would have come to terms with it. She possibly wrote an angry response that she never sent in the immediate aftermath. But I think she would eventually put it into perspective and regard him as a dear friend. By the time she gets the letter, she has felt the pull of Chakotay’s advances and even that moment with the Lord Byron character, so she has an idea how it’s been for him, and the main difference between them is that he doesn’t have duty to stand in the way of his personal life. It surprises me that so little has been written that I have found about Mark. I think J/Cers tend to write him off as boring so that it’s easier for Janeway to run into the arms of her angry warrior, but I think more credit should be given to her in her choice of a man she planned to spend the rest of her life with.
  Anyway, thanks because I haven’t written or even thought about this in quite a while!
  
  Comment Actions
  - Thread
  - Parent Thread
Torri012 on Chapter 2 Tue 16 Jun 2020 11:32AM UTC

I really like the first chapter, though I'm not quite sure how i feel about the second one. i mean - it's been YEARS since she's seen him and YEARS since she made peace with herself that she will never see him again so I personally dont think she'd still be shedding tears for him in any form or that she struggles with her emotions in order to grasp the fact that their romance is over. i mean.. i like he concept of being so deeply attatched to someone for such a long time with nothing but hope but janeway never struck me as someone who pined for Mark. she's an extremly rational thinking woman so i think she gave up on him pretty soon. I think she shed her tears somewhere in season 1 or *maybe* 2 and was done with it. by the time resolutions rolled round and chakotay wooed her i felt like she only refused him because of her 'sense of duty and obligation'; not because she was still in love with Mark. she seemed more like she just wanted to "stay faithful because thats what fiances do". emotionally she was already attaching herself to chuckles, hence the handholding and sad face when they had to leave.

Comment Actions
- Thread
1. LeftyVoyager on Chapter 2 Thu 18 Jun 2020 11:31PM UTC
  
  I get what you’re saying, but this is what I think and why I wrote it this way. It was definitely easier to write the man’s perspective.
  * Janeway is emotional in private, and Mark would know this.
  * For Janeway to decide to get engaged with someone, it would have to be all encompassing. I think she loved Mark to the same level that she was committed to Voyager. She let go because Mark let her down. It took time to get over, and finally writing the words rehashed it.
  * She saw it coming. She did feel close to Chakotay and probably figured Mark wouldn’t wait forever. But that didn’t make it easier.
  * She’s also a little sad that she feels she can’t have a relationship, so part of her emotional response is frustration.
  Thanks for reading! Really enjoyed seeing your point of view!
  
  Comment Actions
  - Thread
  - Parent Thread
Al_JustATrekkie on Chapter 2 Sun 28 Jun 2020 04:04PM UTC

Oh wow - I can't believe you did a follow up! Thanks :-)
This was so sad, but I think very human. While I understand the point Torri012 makes, I think being reminded of a lost love is often painful, no matter how much time has past. Like Janeway said when she got Mark's letter, there was something so final about receiving that message. I think this would have been that last step for her - that final thing that had to happen at her end. I don't think she would have sat around moping about it for the whole time between chapters one and two, but I do think that writing that message would have stirred up a lot of old memories and emotions.
I like your idea that they would have discussed what to do if she didn't come home from a mission. I've wondered if any of the crew had those conversations, and what Starfleet thought had happened to their ship. Tuvok's family probably knew that he was alive, courtesy of his Bond with his wife, but as he was last known to be on the Maqui ship, Starfleet would only have a hint that their ship (or some of their crew) had survived. Unless some of the other Vulcans on board were Bonded as well, Starfleet might have declared them all dead.
It makes you wonder how the many other letters we didn't see affected the crew as well.
Thanks for posting this - it was lovely :-)

Comment Actions
- Thread

Archive of Our Own^beta

Actions

Work Header