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Dear Kaeya,
I regret to inform you on such short notice that I will be unable to visit you again for some time. My newest deployment has been relocated to Fontaine instead of Mondstat—and no, I’m afraid teleporting to our usual Springvale destination is out of the question for the time being. Her Majesty’s orders that I remain on my best behavior after nearly causing a diplomatic disaster in Liyue and Mond in succession. Although I think calling our endeavors “jeopardizing socioeconomic ties” is a bit of an exaggeration, I can’t help that Her Majesty was more willing to accept La Signora’s (that awful witch of a woman) rendition of the events that occurred than mine. It’s quite the tragedy.
On a lighter note, I have two requests for you until I am able to meet you again. The first: please purchase that obscenely large picnic basket Marjorie put on display during my last day in Mond. Yes, I know it’s a bit gaudy for your tastes but believe me, it is a necessary component of one of my future plans. Involving you of course.
The second: please dream of me every night until I return to you again. I know I surely will dream of you. It was already a great struggle to rid you from my thoughts during waking hours, but now you have oh so rudely invaded my dreams. Behind closed eyes is your annoyingly charming smile waiting for me, and I will savor it until I can see the real thing again.
Sincerely yours,
Childe
P.S. You speak Fontais correct? I’ll be sure to work hard on my skills in this language so that when the time comes, I can challenge you to all of the local tongue twisters and emerge victorious. You can be sure of it!
• •
Dear Kaeya,
It seems our exchanges have kept me diligent! My assignment has ended an entire month early, and I’ve requested to take this extra time off. Now, don’t expect to take all of the credit for my accomplishment, (there was a great effort on my part in attending those painfully dull meetings with Fontaine diplomats) but your letters encouraged me greatly. I won’t deny you that.
I want to surprise you when I see you again, so I will not disclose to you the exact date of my arrival. But please disable the cryo trap above your front door for the next week? Don’t worry, I won’t do anything rash like break into your apartment, but I would rather not be frozen into a slime-cicle whilst I knock on your door.
Even as I write this, I’m itching with excitement for the time to come and I hope you feel the same excitement when you receive this letter.
With love,
Childe
P.S. I hope my gifts to you are suited to your tastes. Consider it atonement for making you carry that god awful picnic basket through the streets after purchasing it.
• •
My Dearest Kaeya,
I remain just as forlorn as the day our month together came to an end. Not even a moment goes by where I don’t recall the spray of kisses you greeted me with on that rainy night. Or drinking the taste of wine from your lips among the lamp grass during our picnics (I told you the basket would be useful—there was simply nothing else large enough for me to fit the freshest ingredients for your favorite spread).
Every minute with you is a dream—hopefully from which I will never wake. You remind me that I’m not just a husk of a man whose hands are drenched in blood. You remind me, you show me that I am human, that I can still feel emotions other than bloodlust. That my hands are capable of more than just killing. You allow me to use my bloodstained hands to embrace you, to hold you, to cook you food and spoil you rotten. It feels like I haven’t earned the right of your favor but you grace me with it anyway.
That night, when I told you those three words, I sincerely meant them, Kotya. With my entire heart. I love you, and you are so dear to me it pains me to see you working until exhaustion, just to make up for the shortcomings of your comrades. I need you to promise me that you’ll be conscious of your rest and wellbeing until I can return and spoil you once again. And don’t worry about saying those three words in return. I can feel your sentiment through everything we do—you’ve made sure of that—and it’s more than enough.
Your beloved,
Ajax
P.S. The next time we both have time off, I want us to take a trip together. I passed through a wonderful archipelago on my way to Inazuma and maybe afterwards we can go to my hometown? I just know my mother will love you and I must introduce you properly to all of my siblings.
• •
Kaeya,
I regret writing to you with such haste, however my deployment in Inazuma has been cut short and I am being summoned back to Her Majesty’s palace in Zapolyarny. This change is abrupt and I am not sure when or from where I will write to you next. I painfully regret that I cannot tell you any more about my situation—I myself barely know many more details.
I do hope you’ve enjoyed the tea I sent with our last correspondence and I look forward to sharing a pot with you when I can once again return to you. And I hope you haven’t forgotten about our island trip in the near future! My comrades say I have developed a new sort of excitement that is palpable—they aren’t used to seeing such a bright look on my face so often. I’m afraid that next, I may lose my fearsomeness as a Harbinger. Kaeya, you are certainly going to be the death of me.
I must be off now, but as always you are present in my thoughts, dreams and my heart.
With as much love as there are stars,
Ajax
• •
The last letter Kaeya ever received did not have the same red wax seal as all of Ajax’s past letters. This seal was black with an ornate Z standing proudly in the center. It came with a small, red velvet box.
Kaeya, my love
If you are reading this letter, then I am afraid the worst fate has come upon me. Yes, I am probably dead by now. But for me, that is not the worst fate.
The worst fate is that I have left you alone in this realm. The worst fate is that I will never again be able to feel your warm embrace when I come home to you. That I can no longer place a soft kiss on your lips and tell you that you are more breathtaking than Celestia itself. I told you one night, that I was chasing godhood, that I desired to have the world at my feet and you by my side. But as you wound your way inside my heart, I realized that’s not really what I needed. I needed someone to love. And you gave me, undeserving, the beautiful privilege of loving you.
When you open the box, you will find two things. And two favors I have left to ask of you. The first is a silver ring, with a deep blue stone set in the middle. This was the ring I was going to propose to you with, while we vacationed in the Golden Apple Archipelago. While I am no longer here, I would like that ring to serve as a symbol of my love for you. Vast and unending like the ocean. If you would have me, that is.
The second thing is a satchel of calla lily seeds and a special fertilizer I made myself out of ground up starconch shells. I want you to plant them near the cove we used to frequent and tend to it until you can no longer. Let it be a reminder that I am always with you, watching over you. Even when my body is gone, I will never leave you. After all, a little thing like death could never stop me from loving you.
You will always be in my heart, Kaeya, even when my final moments come to pass, I can say with absolute certainty: my last thoughts will be of you.
Forever yours,
Ajax.